Confusing Narcissism and ADHD

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  • Опубликовано: 28 янв 2025

Комментарии • 156

  • @Diogenerate
    @Diogenerate Год назад +83

    Going from my own experience, I think adults with untreated ADHD end up emulating or convergently evolving symptoms similar to narcissism.

    • @superespiritual1553
      @superespiritual1553 Год назад +5

      exactly

    • @understandingyourself
      @understandingyourself Год назад +1

      What a sad maladaptation

    • @KellenAdair
      @KellenAdair Год назад +12

      More like Borderline. And that's only after severe narcissistic abuse!
      Now, my little a d h d is full blown

    • @madisparkles
      @madisparkles 10 месяцев назад

      What would treated adhd be?

    • @BigIndianBindi-jy1cz
      @BigIndianBindi-jy1cz 10 месяцев назад +6

      treated ADHD is more regulation of emotion and less rumination@@madisparkles

  • @iveneverseenahealthyvegan.9885
    @iveneverseenahealthyvegan.9885 Год назад +61

    Narasists are the ADHD worst enemy. We both seek emotions from others, but ADHD seek Dopamine (people pleasing) not Narsasistic Distruction.

    • @nickibanks5185
      @nickibanks5185 Год назад +23

      Yes...thank you for clarifying that difference. I have diagnosed ADHD & attract narcs I've only in recent years & more in recent months, have been awakened to just how many of my current circle and past have been highly narcissistic. I have over the years become a chronic people pleaser & I now realise that the people that I've attracted to me have started when I've showered empathy or sensing something wrong or distress in the individual have naturally tried to help or solve their problems etc. Basically I have given my attention & time & that's where i've done myself wrong.
      What kind of world is this now. Where you are made to feel foolish and wrong for trying to be old school / morally human🤨

    • @Y2Kr4SHM4N
      @Y2Kr4SHM4N Год назад +4

      @@nickibanks5185I feel your pain, and share your sentiment.

    • @Bkbkbc9394
      @Bkbkbc9394 Год назад

      This is incorrect narcisism and adhd can overlap in most of the cases since other than people pleasing, high self concern can be the case in dopamine deficiency. They please people only in the social occasions or if they get something from them or if it will make look them superior. And to me adhd is the excuse of most narcissistic behavior they hide behind it oh sorry I’m just distracted oh sorry I don’t understand you should’ve explained better you know I’m different I have adhd bla bla bla .
      But the important part is probably most of them were the victim of narcissistic abuse in their childhood and maybe they developed adhd during childhood due to the abuse then they became the narcissist and it can be also caused by modeling of their narcissist parents. None of them can happen as well I know numerous people having narcissistic parents but they didn’t develop adhd or narcissistic personality so I guess dopamine might effect which way we will go.

    • @IvorMorris
      @IvorMorris Год назад +3

      They each others worst enemies it’s vice Verse

    • @iveneverseenahealthyvegan.9885
      @iveneverseenahealthyvegan.9885 Год назад

      @@nickibanks5185 There is a dopamine release by using a term called Helpers High. Chose your audience wisely and carry on being you.

  • @nessinhapoeira
    @nessinhapoeira 9 месяцев назад +17

    I have ADHD and the tone of his voice made it impossible for me to pay any attention. I saw it 2 times. Good for monetization eheheh I shared it in a group of victims of narcissists. I hope you understand the difference, because it's annoying to always be compared to people with no empathy and inflated egos!

    • @fatymah1138
      @fatymah1138 9 месяцев назад +3

      totally missed the point

    • @nanasabia
      @nanasabia 8 месяцев назад +1

      Same!!!

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 7 месяцев назад +1

      yep

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 6 месяцев назад +2

      I'm glad you also felt that way. thought maybe it was just me.

    • @csc8697
      @csc8697 3 месяца назад +1

      I'm reading comments

  • @syenite
    @syenite Год назад +15

    My ex spouse was diagnosed as an adult with adhd and he has the worst RSD I have ever encountered. He would find criticism and rejection where none was there. I could comment on the weather and he would ask me why I hated him. I had to walk on eggshells, I had to constantly monitor my tone and inflection, choose my words so carefully. He saw everything as all or nothing, if I had a need, he saw that as me implying that he wasn't allowed to have a need. If his RSD got triggered, it would set off *days* of him screaming at me, calling me names, belittling me, insulting me, etc. And there was no way I could explain that all I said was "it's raining," he would tell me to stop gaslighting him, that he knew I was secretly insulting his whole family by saying "it's raining."
    His yelling was often so loud and so out of control that the neighbors would call the cops and the cops often had to content with him being just as verbally aggressive with them.
    If I expressed that I thought a movie he liked was anything less than world class art, he would sabotage everything I did for the next week. He would purposefully stay up late playing loud music to "punish" me for insulting his beloved favorite movie, even knowing I had important work stuff going on. If I had interests that weren't his interest, he would call me stupid and idiotic and say "oh, so you like reading? I guess that means you think I'm just an asshole. I know you secretly hate everyone who enjoys listening to punk music. All readers hate punk."
    But I could never complain about it. If I complained about this treatment, I was told that "RSD is more painful for the person who experiences it." so when he wrongly inferred I was rejecting him, he experienced more pain than when he called me deragatory names and assaulted my self-worth.
    I left that relationship a shell of my former self, I left feeling abused and gaslit and utterly unable to function as a human being. I was told that I would qualify for PTSD based on what I went though IF my ex was neurotypical. But people w ADHD can't be abusive. So what he didn't wasn't abuse. So I am "ableist" and "contributing to the stigmatization of adhd" by being broken by him.
    If he didn't have adhd, this would be seen as narcassistic abuse. But he has adhd. So it was just me not being accommodating enough of his behavior and I have only myself to blame for how he treated me.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +30

      It sounds like he had much more going on than ADHD, and I am glad that you have taken steps to remove yourself from such an unsupportive relationship.

    • @kaylapenedo6900
      @kaylapenedo6900 10 месяцев назад +6

      Everything you described is NPD narcissistic personality disorder . They also have rejection sensitivity. The adhd rsd my daughter has it and the pain is inflicted towards them or i have adhd so I know I would never talk to anyone like you mentioned but a narcissist would. I have lived w two so no that pattern you described to well . They are abusive adhd just inpatient and the hurt goes towards ourselves not others .

    • @nanasabia
      @nanasabia 8 месяцев назад

      @@kaylapenedo6900or borderline:severe childhood trauma

    • @DaveE99
      @DaveE99 8 месяцев назад

      That’s def more than adhd.

    • @zion367
      @zion367 7 месяцев назад

      I can imagine that you would compain aboit it, but that is not useful for both of you.
      If someone is belitteling, insulting and verbally abusing you then the best person to complain to is yourself for staying.

  • @sunnybein1
    @sunnybein1 Год назад +18

    This is a Neurotypical perspective that doesn’t consider the Double Empathy problem (Damien Milton) at all. Neurotypicals egotistically thinking that they are the epitome of ‘normal’ and that others who are Neurodivergent are therefore ‘lacking.’
    The world is beginning to awaken to the fact that Humaity is divergent and by doing so is beginning to acknowledge and to recognise no ‘tribe’ be it Neurotypical or Neurodivergents are greater or lesser than one another-we are all simply different.
    Humanity needs ‘different’ brains to survive.Human Divergence is natural and has always been here.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +19

      One of the other commenters wrote: Natural human divergence is born..personality disorders are made. You are blending together a bunch of potentially separable concepts. Neurodivergents by definition are different, and we don't have to judge them as better or worse than others. At the same time some people behave in ways that are intentionally detrimental to other human beings, which is something that I don't think we should condone. That would effectively be saying let murderers be murderers or arsonists be arsonists.

    • @sunnybein1
      @sunnybein1 Год назад

      @@DrJohnKruse I'm not 'blending' I'm highlighting the world needs natural 'difference' aka Neurodivergents and Neurotypicals. Nowhere do I advocate or agree with the criminal or abuser or those who are disordered who harm- they aren't born they are 'created' by parental abuse/neglect which is not 'natural.'

    • @nessinhapoeira
      @nessinhapoeira 9 месяцев назад

      @@DrJohnKruse I believe that psychopathy is also a neurodivergence and it shouldn't even be in Cluster B. Despite becoming quite dangerous, it is not a question of personality but rather a brain anomaly. What do you think about this Doctor?

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  9 месяцев назад +8

      @@nessinhapoeira I think that everything we have in our DSM classification system represent brain anomalies. But something can exist both as a brain anomaly AND a personality disorder or mental health condition.

    • @nessinhapoeira
      @nessinhapoeira 9 месяцев назад

      @@DrJohnKruse thank you for answering!

  • @rhyfess8429
    @rhyfess8429 Год назад +11

    I am diagnosed ADHD with cPTSD. My dad is diagnosed Aspergers, so high functioning autistic. My mother is, imo, ADHD with c-PTSD and a covert narc but is smart enough to hide the narc traits from outsiders. ADHD looks like narcissism because the short term memory issues look like gaslighting and c-PTSD compounds them. Because I can't trust my memory, I have trouble holding conversations due to the anxiety of forgetting important things about people I do know on top of the short term memory problems. I just called an acquaintance I've seen weekly for years by the wrong name three times in a row because my brain glitched; that stuff makes it look like you only care about yourself. Thing is, ADHD-only people care, they just can't trust their memory and not remembering gives off the impression you're a narc who truly doesn't care because generally the one topic you can remember clearly at any point is you although even that is up for grabs at times.
    My mother, on the other hand, also forgets frequently and the ADHD plus the not caring about what other people have going unless it personally impacts her makes it happen far more often. Quite frequently the actually caring about people helps information stick slightly better when it's just ADHD, especially if (in my case) I can tie a strong enough emotion to it. Which isn't to say my mother can't remember, but it's usually going to be because she wants to use that information in the future to inflate her ego or cut you down later. There is also a certain amount of noticeable self-aware malevolence and/or vindictiveness to her actions and she's outright abusive. For instance, my adopted tween-age sister had a problem with telling stories about people. She made something up about me and I called her out on it. Long story short, I told my sister she had to tell the truth to the people she'd spread the story around to if she wanted to make things right and, to her credit, she actually did. My mother's reaction? 'Wow, that was way worse than just beating her like I was going to', listed all the reasons that it was worse so she could gloat (sis already had issues with the person she had come clean to for the same reason), and she was giddily gleeful about it being worse (and never mind that, while it wasn't pleasant for my sis, it wasn't as bad as my mother thought because sis wasn't a narc and part of the problem was that sis didn't care about her rep the way my mother did). Never ever occurred to her that if a kid makes a mistake the natural consequence should be that they have to clean up the mess they made, it was all some kind of way of me intentionally trying to be extra malicious in punishing my sister. Severe lack of empathy, and yes, my mother was severely abused as a child which contributed to that lack of empathy.
    That is the difference between a narc and just ADHD. ADHD is generally involves a certain level of unintentional thoughtlessness and argumentativeness d/t memory impairment and impulsiveness. Narcissism has a certain amount of calculated malevolence to it because a narc will always shaft you to get what they want or what makes them feel 'good' (which can sometimes be problematic to recognize when dealing with the martyr type). When ADHD is paired with narc traits, it really sucks because you never know what is actually genuine thoughtlessness and what was intentional. The likelihood of abuse, especially physical abuse, goes up because they like to make themselves feel better by using the person 'making' them feel 'bad' as a punching bag when their emotions dysregulate. Each is it's own little thing, but I consider those three (ADHD, PTSD, and narcissism) an especially unholy triad because they amplify each other. My autistic dad could be abusive at times but it was very routine, we knew what would set him off and could predict it fairly easily. Living with my mother's ADHD exacerbated narcissist chaos made life hell, anything we did that she felt made her look bad made her lose her s*** and then she'd rile dad up. Because of the narcissism angle, nothing was ever her fault and it never flippin' occurred to her that maybe she was the one who needed to change. Or that any of the abuse she meted was real abuse since only what her parents did to her was 'real' abuse.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +7

      Thanks for sharing all of that painful family history. The distinctions you make between ADHD and narcissistic driven behavior make sense to me, and align with what I was talking about in this video.

    • @IshtarNike
      @IshtarNike 4 месяца назад

      Excellent comment and something I've noted in my own family.

  • @TheAzachiel
    @TheAzachiel Год назад +5

    The best, most objective video I saw on the topic. Thank you sincerely.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +1

      You're most welcome. I really appreciate hearing that.

  • @rebeccagrace1509
    @rebeccagrace1509 Год назад +29

    Almost all people I have ever met with Adhd/add have been and still are THE SWEETEST people...which amazing consisering how much SHIT they've taken from very mean people. ALL the narcs I've ever met, to this day.... are EVIL.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +10

      Those descriptions certainly cover many people, but there are certainly a large degree of overlap with people who fulfill both diagnoses.

    • @martinbue2504
      @martinbue2504 9 месяцев назад +2

      All the people you’ve met with ADHD, if you knew about it, was already diagnosed and treated.

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 7 месяцев назад

      yep

  • @Bibbzter666
    @Bibbzter666 Год назад +28

    I think this is an issue that has been referred to as the "empathy gap" between neurotypical people and neurodivergent people such as people with ADHD and Autism. As a late diagnosed ADHDer and I also believe I am on the Autism spectrum I've felt "narcissistically abused by "normal" people all my life as I've found them lacking in empathy for people who are different than they are and I was constantly blamed and shamed for not "acting" or "behaving" "normal" or "properly". It felt like I was gaslit by the whole world but I just couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with me and no one seemed to be able to tell me until I finally did my own research into ADHD and "High functioning" Autism and everything started to make a whole lot of sense even if I still struggle with functioning in the "normal" world.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +6

      That's certainly one relevant angle on this topic.

    • @Fefe559
      @Fefe559 Год назад +4

      I can totally relate ! I have adhd too

    • @aycha_1449
      @aycha_1449 Год назад

      ​@@DrJohnKruse wait, I don't understand and ... I don't agree. Why is ADHD put into the same category of "neurodivergent" as autism? That doesn't make any sense to me.
      Autism isn't a condition or a "divergence" that one can change by own's efforts; one is born with it. While ADHD is the result of CPTSD, or, in any case, it isn't something that cannot be changed, ever. Yes, it is hard, hard, hard work. But it is a maladaptation mechanism that I can work on and I can change in time.
      It is very unfair to people who have autism to put this condition into the same box. It's like we're piggybacking on an actual, unchangeable neurodivergence to avoid having taking full responsibility for our actions. Yes, I haven't created my ADHD, yes, I am not responsible for the causes, yes I was powerless in that sense. But I am responsible for changing my neuronal pathways and my behavior. Someone with autism doesn't have that privilege. And god knows, I see many fellows who also have ADHD and use it as an excuse for everything, even for things that aren't ADHD related and "typical" for other humans too. This attitude is unacceptable for me.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +4

      @@aycha_1449 I think that the evidence we have so far is that for both autism and ADHD there are wiring differences in the brain that differ from the "normal" and that for many people with either or both conditions there may be some modification possible either through drugs or therapies, but that for neither condition do we fundamentally erase all that is divergent.
      The claim that ADHD is largely due to trauma is a horribly misguided view that is inconsistent with large bodies of research. And yes, unfortunately people with (and even without) either condition can claim to have either of them and blame their behavior on these labels.

    • @blazer666del
      @blazer666del 10 месяцев назад

      @@aycha_1449 There are links to ADHD being caused by brain injury, Premature birth, Smoking or drinking alcohol during pregnancy, enviroment. So it is most definitly neurodivergent .. while you dont agree with that.. your opinon is certinally incorrect at best.

  • @commonwunder
    @commonwunder 4 месяца назад +5

    That tiny dog's ability to patiently wait for you, to sit in that vintage style French armchair is unreal.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  4 месяца назад +2

      Mr. Cupcake is a good dog.

    • @MichaelMcKenna1963
      @MichaelMcKenna1963 2 месяца назад

      You have just self-diagnosed as ADHD! 😅

    • @jag2039
      @jag2039 Месяц назад

      But the Dog can't be a smart ass like a ADHD Me it's all a trip! Dig ur video's Doc ;)€
      Ps I use to make my Boss Crazy my poor wife of 32yrs still dealing with me Bless her little ❤ She's my Baby no drama no kids either good thing cause I don't hold back my mouth getting better now,I know one thing really glad I had a dad he had no idea wtf was wrong with his only son Dad stayed on my Ass 1-12 made taught me Common Sense n how to use my hands thank god but the fun is guy to work with lol 😮

  • @djallalnamri1
    @djallalnamri1 Месяц назад +1

    Could narcissism due to ADHD be a compensatory attitude for the self-depreciation typical of ADHD?

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Месяц назад

      That would be one psychological explanation.

  • @SunnyMongoose
    @SunnyMongoose Месяц назад +1

    I needed this video and i thank you for it

  • @tlotus3032
    @tlotus3032 Год назад +37

    All of the adult women diagnosed with ADHD I have had the displeasure of working or living with have had really manipulative narcissistic behaviors some more like bpd, others more like straight narcissism.

    • @MelanieBlackwell-c3z
      @MelanieBlackwell-c3z Год назад +8

      Sounds just like my fonky ass momma. She swears she has ADHD, whole time, she’s a narc. My childhood is proof.

    • @oliverbird6914
      @oliverbird6914 9 месяцев назад

      Victim

    • @tlotus3032
      @tlotus3032 9 месяцев назад +6

      @@oliverbird6914 who is the victim? This is an observation. How people behave effects others. facts.

    • @oliverbird6914
      @oliverbird6914 9 месяцев назад

      @@tlotus3032 just stop whining

    • @Studio-ch3qc
      @Studio-ch3qc 8 месяцев назад

      45% of prisoners have adhd, adhd are manipulative and narcissistic.

  • @Al.531
    @Al.531 2 месяца назад +1

    Do you think undiagnosed ADHD, possibly undiagnosed autism and childhood emotional neglect could create maladaptive covert narcissism. Do you think the opposite could be depression and suicidal it y?
    Wondering if an undiagnosed autistic person could have bad rejection sensitivity due to their undiagnosed ADHD flaws. To protect their sense of self they could become narcissistic? Just a theory

  • @DJQuickSB
    @DJQuickSB 6 месяцев назад +2

    2:35 you already say something that does not fit ADHD, we are in fact well aware of our problems and what it does to other people, and are suffering of it ourselved. cursing at our inability, forgetting misplaced stuff ect

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  6 месяцев назад

      Many people with ADHD are indeed aware of their problems, but in repeatedly measured and documented ways, the inattentiveness of ADHD contributes to people with ADHD as a group, not being aware of when they have failed to respond to others, intruded into their space, or made or other social "errors".

  • @sandramcinnesscott2931
    @sandramcinnesscott2931 Год назад +3

    This is so interesting. Ive been in a relationship with someone have been convinced is either autistic or narcissistic but so confused...which I guess happens ! (and I have an MA in Psychology!) He does have ADHD too but am beginning to think this may be the main event so to speak. Still...tired of analysing and trying to make things work and am thinking I may have to leave as he is so controlling and then calls me controlling for trying to change things !

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  11 месяцев назад +5

      It is often reassuring to know why someone else is acting a certain way in situations. But even more important is whether the behavior is acceptable to you, regardless of its origins. If it doesn't work for you, then do what you need to do to stay safe, which may well be staying away.

  • @Ninamariebee
    @Ninamariebee 2 месяца назад +1

    I have a question, so when you described the justifications a narcissists might make to themselves for why breaking laws and /or societal rules is okay for "them" since "everyone else is doing it anyway "....is this accurate in your experience that they truly believe that "everyone" else is doing these things already?

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  2 месяца назад +1

      I tend not to be an absolutist, so I would say, yes, that is one of the things that they truly believe, but they may have additional thoughts on the issue as well. If you look in the political realm you can certainly see prominent candidates justifying all sorts of dishonesty and bad behavior with the justification that everyone does it.

  • @maryqc8418
    @maryqc8418 8 месяцев назад +2

    Amen and thank you for this. I just left a sup who was both narcissistic and ADHD.

  • @KrassimiraJeliazkova
    @KrassimiraJeliazkova 11 месяцев назад +2

    Can I put a question please, if I may: If we suspect narcicism or adhd in a person close and dear to us, but are not reaslly sure which one it is, is it worth the effort making it known to them that they have offended us and hurt our feelings? In either case (narcicism or adhd), are they exonerated from guilt treating others badly? Any chance of change?
    Thank you for the attention, Krassimira

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  11 месяцев назад +4

      I think that in many situations it is valuable for your own mental health to speak up when people behave poorly around you, whether or not they can see it, accept it, or be willing or able to change it. I often urge patients to decide what behaviors by others are acceptable to them, to let the other person know this, and to focus less on trying to sort out motivations because if you find the behavior intolerable, it doesn't particularly matter why they are repeating it.
      People with ADHD and with NPD are capable of change if it is important enough to them to do so, but both groups face more challenges in changing than someone without either condition.

    • @rhyfess8429
      @rhyfess8429 3 месяца назад +1

      @@KrassimiraJeliazkova if it's a narc, they'll make you pay for calling them out. If it's ADHD, they'll either be upset and apologize or argue because they genuinely don't remember. If you give them space to think about it, they will probably remember and apologize but they need space to think about it because they have to do the equivalent of walking down to the basement to pull the paperwork out of that particular brain file in storage to re-read it.
      Narc will not apologize unless they did something so over the top not apologizing will cost them something serious like jail time and maybe not even then. Unless they are love bombing you to gauge how easy you are to manipulate.
      ADHD will equate your emotions with your conversation because their memory is bad and the actual words may not register. Do NOT talk to them when you are angry about something else you aren't actually discussing with them, they will read your tone of voice and body language, think it's about them and react accordingly. Narc will push your buttons for fun and enjoy doing so.
      Dysregulated ADHD will be angry, but it's normal anger. Narc will get demon eyes and you will feel the threat and need to hurt you radiating off them.
      Narc will rarely to never change, it's an entitlement issue and they get too many bonuses to being that level of jerk. ADHD can improve with coping strategies, but their memory, time sense, and impulsiveness are always going to be lifelong struggles, esp if PTSD is also involved. The parts of the brain that regulate those departments are underfunded and missing staff.
      If you don't have the patience, and it takes a lot of patience so not having enough is pretty normal, you really need to move on. Narcs won't care if you leave as long as they can milk it for drama, but ADHD will be deeply hurt if you pretend you can deal with their issues and they believe/trust you only to have you flip scripts mid stream. They'll understand, they hate their issues more than you do. Don't make it harder than it has to be.
      Narcs think the problem is everybody but them and all their relationships are transactional; they'll only be irritated they can't use you anymore now that you left. How angry that makes them will depend on their perceived investment in you, how useful you were, and how much they feel you still owe them.
      ...as general guidelines. Mmv. But you should already have picked up which they are (or if they're both) by their reactions when you have made your feelings known on less intense issues. Narc will use information about your feelings as weapons down the road and telling them is a bad idea. ADHD will acknowledge your feelings, but will have probably have trouble remembering it's a sore point until you've had a major, memorable (to them) blow up on the topic.

    • @KrassimiraJeliazkova
      @KrassimiraJeliazkova 3 месяца назад

      That was a very detailed and useful reply. A very-very big THANK YOU!

    • @rhyfess8429
      @rhyfess8429 3 месяца назад

      @@KrassimiraJeliazkova Yw. One last note: Both project. If your fights devolve to a lot of accusations that you are being intentionally mean, manipulative/gaslighting and/or abusive when you actually weren't, probably a narc. If they're frustrated you were unintentionally thoughtless, lost track of time, or genuinely forgot, it's more likely to be ADHD projecting. Mind you, that may not make the argument less intense if they're already super frustrated with their own issues at that moment; they may be unfairly relying on you to stay on track because they're struggling.
      Although that can be muddy, because somebody with ADHD who picked up bad habits from living with a narc may also seem narc-ish because they will be afraid that's what you're doing thanks to a lot of bad experience dealing with narcs.
      With them, it's genuine fear. Reassurance can help. A narc does it to derail the argument and turn it back on you. It's a power play. If they refuse to be reassured and continue accusing, most likely a narc who wants to derail the argument by putting you on the defensive.

    • @KentPatriot
      @KentPatriot 17 дней назад

      ​@@rhyfess8429👏 superbly put.

  • @Bar_Bar27
    @Bar_Bar27 Год назад +4

    There's also a connection between AntiSocial PD aka Sociopathy to ADHD the hyperactive type. Many or Most with "Sociopathy" also have ADHD. Not saying that those with ADHD are sociopathic. Most ADHDers are far from being sociopathic.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +2

      Yes, and I haven't spoken about that much (although I have an upcoming video on ADHD and Jail). I do have a video here on ADHD and Borderline PD ruclips.net/video/CGYjZ7R5-zY/видео.html

  • @sunnybein1
    @sunnybein1 Год назад +9

    Ps Natural human divergence is born..personality disorders are made.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +2

      Thank you for voicing that thought, it contains an important insight.

    • @nanasabia
      @nanasabia 8 месяцев назад

      Wouldn’t that mean that narcissism is then a childhood trauma consequence, only? But science says that narcissism can be hereditary..

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 6 месяцев назад

      @@nanasabia it does? never heard that before. any research you can point me to?

  • @deprivedlemon
    @deprivedlemon 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks for this video. I had a female friend with undiagnosed ADHD who would (subconsciously) emulate a few narc qualities. She would turn passive aggressive/manipulative if I turned down last minute requests to meet up and would get very defensive about petty things, rarely accepting accountability too. She also had an air of entitlement around her (she'd expect people to offer her lifts and book everything for holidays while contributing very little herself). She definitely doesn't have full blown NPD but it's a shame these overlaps occur.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  11 месяцев назад +4

      The overlap, or even each condition alone, can certainly make it hard to maintain a healthy friendship.

  • @skymakai
    @skymakai 3 месяца назад +1

    How would you suggest finding the best psychiatrist? I met with one recently who flat out said they will not diagnose me with ADHD. They didn’t even suggest the DSM.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  3 месяца назад +3

      Be glad that in just one interaction you learned that this was not likely to be a good match. The approach I usually recommend is to just state what you are looking for help with, what you think is going on, and asking what they think they can provide or add. And try to pay attention to not just what you think of the person, but how you feel about the interaction. I don't think that credentials, schools, or lists of conditions they think they are adept at treating will necessarily give you much information. Patient recommendations may be of some help, but it is hard to trust most of those on the internet, and even if they are candid and accurate, that doesn't dictate how you will interact with any specific psychiatrist.

    • @skymakai
      @skymakai 3 месяца назад +1

      @@DrJohnKruse Thank you. Mine was referred by my insurance provider (Kaiser). I hear Kaiser psychiatrists can be very difficult to work with.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  3 месяца назад +1

      @@skymakai my experience with Kaiser has been that there are many good and capable people in their mental health system (psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers) but the system is set up in ways to restrict care and encourage people to go outside the Kaiser system for treatment.

    • @skymakai
      @skymakai 3 месяца назад

      @@DrJohnKruse Thank you for sharing your experience. It seems I'll have to look out of network for a proper diagnosis.

  • @mebeasensei
    @mebeasensei 22 дня назад +1

    I would love to see you do this for Autism vs ADHD.

    • @FlynnaYoutube
      @FlynnaYoutube 22 дня назад +1

      Hey!
      Dr. Kruse has a video titled ''Is it Autism or ADHD?'' on this channel, and you can also find a section on Autism Spectrum Disorder in his video titled ''What is NOT ADHD?'' starting at the 04:53 minute mark.
      Both videos have free links to their corresponding written articles in the description as well!

  • @nanasabia
    @nanasabia 8 месяцев назад +1

    I struggle with imposter syndrome that I don’t have adhd but am making it up and am narcissistic instead. It makes it very hard to believe myself or professionals

  • @RoxyW-b2k
    @RoxyW-b2k Год назад +1

    @Dr. John Kruse Are those with Tourette's also typically Narcissists?

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад

      I'm not aware of any direct connection between the two, and off the top of my head can't sort out why Tourette's would lead to narcissism.

  • @jcmangan
    @jcmangan Год назад +30

    NPD ist the most miss diagnosis when it comes to ADHD. True is that the ADHD personality evokes the impression that he is a egocentric person. The ADHD person seems to care less about social rules and to do things more his way. Thats because they early found out, that you can`t do things in the wayy neurotypicals do, if you want to have a chance to get em done. Although the impression ADHD persons being egoistic and often self-absorbed might be right, there is no lack of empathy. And that`s the main point in differencing NPD from ADHD.

    • @Limemill
      @Limemill Год назад +6

      I think so too. I have ADHD, which was only diagnosed in my mid-30s and, if anything, I can be too empathetic at times. I easily start crying when others do, other people's afflictions touch me deeply, etc. BUT I am also self-centred and impulsive, meaning in my daily life I can do things that appear selfish because I'm distracted and don't consciously think my actions through (but also because I'm in a constant search for the missing dopamine and jump on any opportunity to get it without always having other people at the back of my mind). But then again, I wonder if all narcissists are really devoid of empathy. Surely, there are types with quite a lot of emotions, including affinity and, probably, emotional empathy (I think they're called vulnerable narcissists). So, I'm no longer sure where ADHD stops and narcissistic traits begin...

    • @User-sb6er
      @User-sb6er Год назад +4

      ​@@Limemillim coming to the same conclusion, and I want that part of me to stop, because I see and feel how destructive it is and how I damaged those around me with my behavior.

    • @lahorimunda3158
      @lahorimunda3158 2 месяца назад

      Let me understand your words from own ADHD world view the following example that I made up....let me know if this makes sense or not.....
      1). A police officer with ADHD wants to be part of the tactical response group, who deal with high risk situation and do so by wearing a mask, so no one knows their identity. His intention is to help others without seeking any validation or recognition from others (especially women), he gets a dopamine rush from his altruistic acts of helping others without expecting any kind of reward and validation in return......even though his subconscious mind tells him that he is enjoying the female validation but he actively dismisses his subconscious thoughts and consistently reminds himself that he is an upright police officer with the right values and he is not on the job to form any kind of personal relationship with female victims of domestic violence or any other female admirers. He remains stoic and disciplined!!!
      2). A police officer with ADHD comorbid with Narcissism wants to be part of the tactical response group, who deal with high risk situations and do so by wearing a mask, so no one knows their identity. He occasionally wants to take his mask off on the job, so he can be seen by others (females especially), so he can come across as handsome and good looking to them with the hope that one of his female admirers will approach him for a personal relationship and with the hope that she will give him his number. But if he doesn't get approached by any females, then he loses his interest in the job that he is supposed to do as a police officer. His intention is to help others with the expectation of seeking validation or recognition from others (especially women), he gets a dopamine rush from his altruistic acts of helping others because he gets female validation in return.

  • @reneelibby4885
    @reneelibby4885 7 месяцев назад +2

    Am I the only ADHD person who is having trouble staying with this guy due to the way he speaks? Didn't take my Aderrall. lol

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  7 месяцев назад +1

      You might trying adjusting the speed to 1.5x or whatever works for you.

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 7 месяцев назад

      @@DrJohnKruse yes, sometimes that works, and sometimes subtitles keep me on track. you have one hell of a monotone though. oh oops, impulse control - no filter!

  • @baldersn4474
    @baldersn4474 Год назад +3

    I was thinking this watching some guy on you tube who has .been labelled as NPD thought the behaviour traits he demonstrated was very ADHD..

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад

      It seems to be a mistake lots of people are making, much of it stemming from lots of speculation about a certain ex President.

  • @esthergoldberg6407
    @esthergoldberg6407 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this..I am a senior vlinical and educationsl pdychologist specialising in emotional aspects of adhd.snd have desctibed this in detail in my book Talking Adhd..I have aldo proposed an approavh as to or to talk to,or understand adhd...

  • @DWSP101
    @DWSP101 4 месяца назад

    I have undiagnosed high functioning autism. I have diagnosed combined type, ADHD dyslexia, audio processing disorder extremely high masking individual and I have something to state not just ADHD people get confused for narcissist ASD individuals as well. The more I learn there’s so much overlap, but there is clear, defining differences of studied enough for literally, I probably would have a bachelors degree by now, but I don’t believe in paying a college to learn

  • @vaultsjan
    @vaultsjan 4 месяца назад

    I feel like watching this video is too low bar to make sure i am not narcisstic (ie implying narcissists always denying they are narcissists)

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  4 месяца назад +1

      I'm not trying to provide a definitive diagnosis by proxy for anyone, just highlighting some potentially useful information. But it is more than implying, most narcissists really do deny that they are narcissists, and they deny it to themselves and to others.

  • @angelamaria17755
    @angelamaria17755 8 месяцев назад +1

    There has to be more community and support of mothers because if their needs aren’t being met will be really hard for them to be able
    To meet kids needs

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  8 месяцев назад +1

      Our society does a lousy job of supporting mothers, fathers, and teachers, and yet wonders why so many children are troubled.

  • @gingerrivas5354
    @gingerrivas5354 3 месяца назад

    I have a friend who was raised by a narc father and he developed ADHD. I'm not sure he is a narc but he shows lots of features, I believe he just copy his father behaviour. It is well known that narc parents can provoque ADHD in their children

  • @frankbreuer8849
    @frankbreuer8849 8 месяцев назад +2

    Need to do a bit of myth busting here: narcissism is a natural phase we are all going through, we grow out of it if things go well. A whole different speel is toxic narcissism let alone pathological narcissism. It's a bad habit of PopPsych to throw around those terms lightly. It does not help anyone to cite DSM criteria or definitions of "what is or what not' unless you're a clinician who can discuss things with colleagues and develop a mature picture on the topic over time. ADHD and toxic narcissism are very different things, and just because some symptoms look the same, I have to tell you, that looking just at the symptoms does not cut it.. You need to delve into the history to understand properly and then make a clinical judgment.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  8 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks for articulating that, it seems consistent with much of the content of the video.

  • @brendarudman8806
    @brendarudman8806 Год назад +2

    Wish this was louder

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +1

      I've got a new microphone. What I dont' understant is why some people seem to have little problem with the sound and for others it is a big problem.

    • @alouise3557
      @alouise3557 Год назад +1

      ​​​@@DrJohnKruseactually it's plenty "loud" enough. Your voice is actually a calmer voice. It almost seems you're trying to keep your voice down (whether you are, or aren't) without throwing your voice like so many people do on youtube. So, the EQ sound settings would need to be set on certain phones or devices to pick up higher mid-high tones. If you use an editing program to create your videos, highlight the entire video before you do anything, click volume, and increase a little. There are video editing apps on the app store if you're using your phone to record your video.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +1

      @@alouise3557 thanks for the clarification. In real life, my voice is probably even flatter/calmer than here. I probably compensate more with gestures and facial expressions (which some people have also found distracting).

    • @alouise3557
      @alouise3557 Год назад +1

      @@DrJohnKruse I found absolutely nothing wrong with this video at all. Thank you for your work.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  Год назад +1

      @@alouise3557 you're welcome. And I appreciate you sharing your experience of this video.

  • @jespermilthers9895
    @jespermilthers9895 Год назад

  • @ntube86
    @ntube86 18 дней назад

    Your video has nothing to do with the topic 😅... get to it already! How do we confuse the two???

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  17 дней назад

      The information's there, and others seem able to find it, but I'm aware that different styles and approaches work for different people.

  • @TurqoiseHexagonSun
    @TurqoiseHexagonSun 8 месяцев назад +1

    Lost me at that little unnecessary insert about pedos and pizza parlors. Epstein, buddy. Have a good day

    • @rb26nate
      @rb26nate 8 месяцев назад +1

      I've listened to a few of his talks and I've noticed he regularly throws in little TDS dog whistles.

    • @reneelibby4885
      @reneelibby4885 7 месяцев назад

      @@rb26nate Trump has NPD. bottom line.

  • @jgilliam1955
    @jgilliam1955 7 месяцев назад

    You lost me when you brought politics into the discussion.

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  7 месяцев назад

      Politicians are people too.

  • @jeffreyboyd2758
    @jeffreyboyd2758 3 месяца назад

    12:06 TRUMP 2024

  • @stinkerson
    @stinkerson 11 месяцев назад +1

    how would we NOT know long term use of amphetamines ?

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  11 месяцев назад +1

      I'm not quite sure what you are asking. Most research on most medications is confined to a few weeks or months - enough to show that it works. Long term studies are expensive, and drug companies don't have much motivation to conduct them.

    • @stinkerson
      @stinkerson 11 месяцев назад

      @@DrJohnKruse I’m asking because amphetamines have been in general use for almost a century now.
      There ARE plenty of longitudinal studies. It’s strange a doctor would say “there are no known long term effects” when there are.

    • @stinkerson
      @stinkerson 11 месяцев назад

      @@DrJohnKruse Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Medications and Long-Term Risk of Cardiovascular Diseases
      Le Zhang, PhD1; Lin Li, PhD1; Pontus Andell, MD, PhD2; et al

    • @DrJohnKruse
      @DrJohnKruse  11 месяцев назад +1

      @69 I'm not sure what you are referring to. I may certainly have misspoken. I have videos on this channel specifically about long term effects of stimulants, including psychosis, hypertension, and Parkinsonism. But I would disagree that there are of longitudinal studies. Longitudinal research usually means people are followed over a long period of time. Most of what e have regarding long term use is retrospective chart reviews. Also, most studies are examining a single, or at most a few, long term outcomes. So if they aren't collecting data on the effect that is important to you, you're not going to have much information about it.

    • @stinkerson
      @stinkerson 11 месяцев назад

      @@DrJohnKruse that’s all fair, you def misspoke