INFP here and this video helps me tremendously. I am 71 and for the first time living alone and loving it. This week I was invited to a party and spent a couple of days stressing out that I was feeling pressured by a sweet but non sensitive friend to go and not be so "anti-social". So this video helps me see why that feeling is so strong. I'm going to not go. Why make yourself miserable? I'll try to explain this to my friend but he won't get it. But I'm tired of trying to enjoy something that I can't possibly enjoy. Hell, no! I'm done with that. I'd rather stay home. There are group meetings I really enjoy - but not parties. I hate them.
You explain it so perfectly. I know exactly that kind of feeling in large social gatherings. I became less aware of myself and the way I feel. I start acting weird. Make bad decisions that I regret later. I get extremely overwhelmed but try to control the situation. I can't have any fun.
This was such a good video! When you say that parties are not places for deep conversations...that is the main reason I don’t like most parties! Parties should be fun, but I find them very draining. You hit it spot on 👍
WOW! I'm a infp with a very high intuition. What you are explaining is the stuggles of my life time. What I find most difficult is liking something when it is overstimulating and making you suffer. You want to continue yet you also want to leave.
I really needed to hear this.. It's been a very different but strangely satisfying few years of staying out of many social situations. I don't put myself in certain situations that I used to if it's just not necessary... Exceptions being, listening to a good live band, or going somewhere the food is out of this world amazing, otherwise it seems to become more of a stressor then anything. I know I can't fix it entirely so I make sure uncomfortable situations have a super sweet spot inside of me, or I just don't bother .. Suppose there are goods and bads to that. ... Thanks again Erik :)
I am an INFJ and sometimes I try to use my SE. For a limited time of course. I find it is really exciting to be in the moment. Like I see colors more clearly. I can actually hear . But I can't do it for to long. Nowadays I am trying to teach myself to use SE more and have fun. But I am easily overwhelmed. I find that I expect too much from the moment or try to control it. I know trying to control is a futile attempt.
Intuitive types are restrained in so many situations within this society.I'm an 22 year-old guy,ENFP and back earlier in my teenage days,I could probably had Tertiary loop or something strange like that (all happened because of getting along with people whose personality type was unhealthy and whose traits were totally opposed to mine). Hopefully I am now "healed" but so many types I know continue in that unhealthy behaviour.Intuitive people certainly only get along with other Intuitive types (or in some cases with Well Developed ESTJ and ESFJ and well developed ISFP and ISTP) because apparently we somehow need require deep thought,profound conversations and not shallow,trivial things that anyone in this world can talk about. We urge to have someone by our side who has developed an "N" among his/her first 3 cognitive stacks.That's why It's so difficult for us to socialize freely because in this society is very complicated to find someone with an "N"(2 out of 10 maybe they are) and let's face it,this is a wicked society and I don't think many people are willing to develop their tertiary "N" neither.Greetings.Dani!
Same but infp and 19. Loud, obnoxious people who use empty buzzwords and say things just to get reactions with no meaning or seemingly very little thought both annoy me and push me to avoid them all together.
I can see why, when intuitives get overwhelm by feelings like anger or sadness. I must make an analogy, I must make a reference from DragonBall, an overwhelmed intuitive is like dealing with a Legendary Super Saiyan like Broly, like Kale, they can get outta control if they don't have any. Believe me, I've been through it as an INFP and I get upset or angry when there's something that is a source of high stimuli and I become grumpy when my private is been interupted. T_T
This is why I'm really drawn to group listening exercises, as a way of bringing a large group to deep conversation. In Radical Faerie spaces we practice "heart circle" - kind of a corny name but it's helpful for this. A group sits in a circle but only one person speaks at a time. They share from the heart and everyone gives them attention and respect. Instead of cross-talk or response or debate, each person just shares what's on their own heart. Would be basically impossible in a normal group conversation where everyone is interrupting and side tracking.
I'm really appreciating your videos! Just stumbled across your channel.. Your bright personality and the way you articulate these ideas in a thoughtful, non-stereotypical way is very special and calmly inspires me to grow. Thanks for sharing.
Mine seems to be bizarre. The thing that overwhelms me typically is being in a large group of people, when it’s loud, and I don’t have a conversation I can focus on and be a part of. Usually this is accompanied with food. I actually quite enjoy school dances and small parties. Come to think of it at school dances I’m constantly moving, pretty much always alone, floating between groups of friends and almost entirely focusing on *MY* thoughts and what *I* want to do. I’m not really in my head at all and Se is driving. If I didn’t go into Se mode, come to think of it... I’d be emotionally obliterated. The environment I’d be in would be painfully chaotic. I guess the reason it is triggered more around food is that I believe food is social. I love to cook with people. I love to eat with people. I love to converse with people while we share a good meal. When it’s too loud to do that and I can’t zone out the rest of the noise, I probably panic.
I think you can not really use Ni in a party, but Ne works pretty well. It's quite a 'funny' function, that can make jokes, be goofy and entertaining. I'm an INTP and when there's a party I notice that when I use my second function Ne more, and people like that. My first function, Ti is really boring for parties. It's really good to use 1 on 1 for a serious deep convo's , but once in a group, the function becauses rather useless or kinda boring.
Ne dryes out with a lot alone time. It needs exterior stimulation as its fuel! what you say applies to Ni rather I think. I agree on less clutter bc taking care of things limits our free time to move around, but impression and seeing all the ideas out there is totally the fuel of Ne. And attention, lack of focus... maybe, if stiff is presented in a slow detailed way. Im not easily overwelmed only overbored when listening and I already got it but the other goes through every unnecessary detail. That makes me lose focus.
I'm glad to be neurotic. Now, I just a say, " My brain is just wired different than yours". ?.. It makes other people think. Love it now. I obhor florescent lighting with a passion, so I wear glasses. People ask why?.. It works and makes you look cool too. Its just my signature and fashion now. When you talk of differences in cognition, I say I'm special... not different... unique...
I find my greatest insights occur in the quiet. And when I get insights they are often like a wisp of a train of thoughts. The initial thought comes like an impression or a vapor of an idea... and the most critical moments are immediately after this, when another idea will attach itself to the initial one, and so on. Then somewhere in the process it's like many of the pieces come together. Just prior to this, an interruption can derail the creative process from coming together. This is why I try to isolate myself from those who I call the "flying monkeys" ( from the movie, "The Wizard of Oz" ):people who cause the ideas to vaporize. In the US we say the word stimuli like "stim-u- lie". The last part being "lie": like an untruth.
I dare say it's high Ne that can cause you to get overwhelmed. It is, after all, your preprocessor that is analyzing a situation on a subconscious level before you are even becoming aware of what's going on. Once you do, you also get a context along with it so you already know at least one way how to deal with the situation at hand. The problem is, the more distinct chains of events your Ne needs to process, the more likely you are going to risk contention within your mind (these chains need to be processed individually, especially if they don't feed into an existing sequence of events), and you are either incurring unexpected context switches, or things come crashing down around you, leaving you feeling overwhelmed. The only viable defense for an INFP against this is to remove himself from the situation so that things can settle down. This, however, is aggravated once the Fi-Si loop becomes active as it's going to cause additional contention. People with high Ni on the other hand usually have an easier time, because it is fed indirectly with external events (for an INFJ it's Se inferior), however, since that is rather weak, it can easily be tuned out.
I think the less clutter thing doesn’t apply to ENFP s cause clutter helps me be more creative and think clearer and feel like I really have my own space
I am an INFP, and I have a friend that is constantly on her phone even when we would go out to eat and catch up She would be on the phone texting I’m kind of talking to me but not listening. That seems like more of an S function then an ... N . As an N, we might be guilty of daydreaming or trying to control our minds from traveling.
Erik - would you do a video on the INFP and internet dating apps. I consider them an impossibility for INFP's but would be interested in your insights. I am being pressured by friends to try it but don't really want to because (1) it sounds like a bunch of miserable experiences and (2) I just don't believe it will work.
Simply put, if you don't want to do it, then don't do it. It's your life, not that of your friends. To quote Billy Joel: "I don't care what you say any more, this is my life! Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone!"
Here you go: www.versobooks.com/blogs/3553-video-alain-badiou-and-michel-foucault-philosophy-and-psychology-1965?.com& This should help you with some ideas. This is one of my tabs right now.
I find this information quite useful, thank you so much. Until now I didn't realize this is what was going on with me. One little thing, though. The word party is on the title but is not mentioned in the video. So is this referring to anytime we have sensory overwhelm, even while we are alone?
What about a party or living situ of id'ed infj's who don't necessarily even know anything about mbti or care about it.....and how would they interact ? There's been attempts at silence bars. No talking. Just visuals... Low sense input enviros as hangouts....
As an INFP I get like this but my friend is an ENFP & we hang out a lot so now I'm really practicing to be like that. She give me so much motivation But I can't go to parties if I'm not with her.
Parties are mostly about Se so Ne Dominant types have one of the worst builds for them. Ne tries to search abstract constructs in a place where most people aren't interested in them and want to be in the moment (Se heavy environment).
Ne is the function that jokes all over the place esp. in company. Do you talk about Ni??? Ne needs often to dial down but in larger company it really can come out and be let of the leash! Much inspiration everywhere and stimulation. I dont need deep talk all the time, I enjoy lightweight fun and its not as suoerficial as you see it, there can he depth in a joke and not touch deeper areas out of sensitivity for example, but I guess not everyone gets us here.
Parties are mostly about Se so Ne Dominant types have one of the worst builds for them. Ne tries to search abstract constructs in a place where most people aren't interested in them and want to be in the moment (Se heavy environment). Also Ne Doms usually love deep talk especially when it gets philosophical and.
My boyfriend your videos lack popularity mostly because of too strong lights . Hope that tip will help. For me you just look honest and healthy with that but he is pro at slacking at youtube channels:D Like watching Amazing Atheist or Armored Sceptic (for lights reference in pro videos)
INFP here and this video helps me tremendously. I am 71 and for the first time living alone and loving it. This week I was invited to a party and spent a couple of days stressing out that I was feeling pressured by a sweet but non sensitive friend to go and not be so "anti-social". So this video helps me see why that feeling is so strong. I'm going to not go. Why make yourself miserable? I'll try to explain this to my friend but he won't get it. But I'm tired of trying to enjoy something that I can't possibly enjoy. Hell, no! I'm done with that. I'd rather stay home. There are group meetings I really enjoy - but not parties. I hate them.
You explain it so perfectly. I know exactly that kind of feeling in large social gatherings. I became less aware of myself and the way I feel. I start acting weird. Make bad decisions that I regret later. I get extremely overwhelmed but try to control the situation. I can't have any fun.
This was such a good video! When you say that parties are not places for deep conversations...that is the main reason I don’t like most parties! Parties should be fun, but I find them very draining. You hit it spot on 👍
WOW! I'm a infp with a very high intuition. What you are explaining is the stuggles of my life time. What I find most difficult is liking something when it is overstimulating and making you suffer. You want to continue yet you also want to leave.
INTJ woman here. It’s hard to fit in anywhere. 😂
I really needed to hear this.. It's been a very different but strangely satisfying few years of staying out of many social situations. I don't put myself in certain situations that I used to if it's just not necessary... Exceptions being, listening to a good live band, or going somewhere the food is out of this world amazing, otherwise it seems to become more of a stressor then anything. I know I can't fix it entirely so I make sure uncomfortable situations have a super sweet spot inside of me, or I just don't bother .. Suppose there are goods and bads to that. ...
Thanks again Erik :)
I am an INFJ and sometimes I try to use my SE. For a limited time of course. I find it is really exciting to be in the moment. Like I see colors more clearly. I can actually hear . But I can't do it for to long. Nowadays I am trying to teach myself to use SE more and have fun. But I am easily overwhelmed. I find that I expect too much from the moment or try to control it. I know trying to control is a futile attempt.
Intuitive types are restrained in so many situations within this society.I'm an 22 year-old guy,ENFP and back earlier in my teenage days,I could probably had Tertiary loop or something strange like that (all happened because of getting along with people whose personality type was unhealthy and whose traits were totally opposed to mine).
Hopefully I am now "healed" but so many types I know continue in that unhealthy behaviour.Intuitive people certainly only get along with other Intuitive types (or in some cases with Well Developed ESTJ and ESFJ and well developed ISFP and ISTP) because apparently we somehow need require deep thought,profound conversations and not shallow,trivial things that anyone in this world can talk about.
We urge to have someone by our side who has developed an "N" among his/her first 3 cognitive stacks.That's why It's so difficult for us to socialize freely because in this society is very complicated to find someone with an "N"(2 out of 10 maybe they are) and let's face it,this is a wicked society and I don't think many people are willing to develop their tertiary "N" neither.Greetings.Dani!
Same but infp and 19. Loud, obnoxious people who use empty buzzwords and say things just to get reactions with no meaning or seemingly very little thought both annoy me and push me to avoid them all together.
I can see why, when intuitives get overwhelm by feelings like anger or sadness. I must make an analogy, I must make a reference from DragonBall, an overwhelmed intuitive is like dealing with a Legendary Super Saiyan like Broly, like Kale, they can get outta control if they don't have any. Believe me, I've been through it as an INFP and I get upset or angry when there's something that is a source of high stimuli and I become grumpy when my private is been interupted. T_T
This is why I'm really drawn to group listening exercises, as a way of bringing a large group to deep conversation. In Radical Faerie spaces we practice "heart circle" - kind of a corny name but it's helpful for this. A group sits in a circle but only one person speaks at a time. They share from the heart and everyone gives them attention and respect. Instead of cross-talk or response or debate, each person just shares what's on their own heart. Would be basically impossible in a normal group conversation where everyone is interrupting and side tracking.
I'm really appreciating your videos! Just stumbled across your channel.. Your bright personality and the way you articulate these ideas in a thoughtful, non-stereotypical way is very special and calmly inspires me to grow. Thanks for sharing.
Mine seems to be bizarre. The thing that overwhelms me typically is being in a large group of people, when it’s loud, and I don’t have a conversation I can focus on and be a part of. Usually this is accompanied with food. I actually quite enjoy school dances and small parties.
Come to think of it at school dances I’m constantly moving, pretty much always alone, floating between groups of friends and almost entirely focusing on *MY* thoughts and what *I* want to do. I’m not really in my head at all and Se is driving. If I didn’t go into Se mode, come to think of it... I’d be emotionally obliterated. The environment I’d be in would be painfully chaotic.
I guess the reason it is triggered more around food is that I believe food is social. I love to cook with people. I love to eat with people. I love to converse with people while we share a good meal. When it’s too loud to do that and I can’t zone out the rest of the noise, I probably panic.
I think you can not really use Ni in a party, but Ne works pretty well. It's quite a 'funny' function, that can make jokes, be goofy and entertaining. I'm an INTP and when there's a party I notice that when I use my second function Ne more, and people like that. My first function, Ti is really boring for parties. It's really good to use 1 on 1 for a serious deep convo's , but once in a group, the function becauses rather useless or kinda boring.
P O W E R - R E D - B U L L yes Ne at a party, in a larger company it totally can come to play👍
As an INFP, my Ne comes up with not only strange ideas and connections, but incredibly out of nowhere jokes and witty remarks. I love Ne.
Ne dryes out with a lot alone time. It needs exterior stimulation as its fuel!
what you say applies to Ni rather I think.
I agree on less clutter bc taking care of things limits our free time to move around, but impression and seeing all the ideas out there is totally the fuel of Ne.
And attention, lack of focus... maybe, if stiff is presented in a slow detailed way. Im not easily overwelmed only overbored when listening and I already got it but the other goes through every unnecessary detail. That makes me lose focus.
I'm glad to be neurotic. Now, I just a say, " My brain is just wired different than yours". ?.. It makes other people think. Love it now.
I obhor florescent lighting with a passion, so I wear glasses. People ask why?.. It works and makes you look cool too. Its just my signature and fashion now. When you talk of differences in cognition, I say I'm special... not different... unique...
I find my greatest insights occur in the quiet. And when I get insights they are often like a wisp of a train of thoughts. The initial thought comes like an impression or a vapor of an idea... and the most critical moments are immediately after this, when another idea will attach itself to the initial one, and so on. Then somewhere in the process it's like many of the pieces come together. Just prior to this, an interruption can derail the creative process from coming together. This is why I try to isolate myself from those who I call the "flying monkeys" ( from the movie, "The Wizard of Oz" ):people who cause the ideas to vaporize.
In the US we say the word stimuli like "stim-u- lie". The last part being "lie": like an untruth.
Thank you for teasing apart introverted versus intuitive.
Excellent insights and explanation.
Insanely well said as usual Erik.
I dare say it's high Ne that can cause you to get overwhelmed. It is, after all, your preprocessor that is analyzing a situation on a subconscious level before you are even becoming aware of what's going on. Once you do, you also get a context along with it so you already know at least one way how to deal with the situation at hand.
The problem is, the more distinct chains of events your Ne needs to process, the more likely you are going to risk contention within your mind (these chains need to be processed individually, especially if they don't feed into an existing sequence of events), and you are either incurring unexpected context switches, or things come crashing down around you, leaving you feeling overwhelmed. The only viable defense for an INFP against this is to remove himself from the situation so that things can settle down. This, however, is aggravated once the Fi-Si loop becomes active as it's going to cause additional contention.
People with high Ni on the other hand usually have an easier time, because it is fed indirectly with external events (for an INFJ it's Se inferior), however, since that is rather weak, it can easily be tuned out.
You can use it If you can Focus more about gathering Information and not talking to people at a party.
I think the less clutter thing doesn’t apply to ENFP s cause clutter helps me be more creative and think clearer and feel like I really have my own space
I’ve gone to peoples parties and turned off the lights, lit candles and asked them to turn on party music
I am an INFP, and I have a friend that is constantly on her phone even when we would go out to eat and catch up She would be on the phone texting I’m kind of talking to me but not listening. That seems like more of an S function then an ... N . As an N, we might be guilty of daydreaming or trying to control our minds from traveling.
Erik - would you do a video on the INFP and internet dating apps. I consider them an impossibility for INFP's but would be interested in your insights. I am being pressured by friends to try it but don't really want to because (1) it sounds like a bunch of miserable experiences and (2) I just don't believe it will work.
Yes! It’s miserable... I’ve attempted to do them for years and I have come to realize it’s easier to be alone 🤣
Simply put, if you don't want to do it, then don't do it. It's your life, not that of your friends.
To quote Billy Joel: "I don't care what you say any more, this is my life! Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone!"
This really helped. Thank you.
Wow! That is stuff I haven’t heard before! “And I never have to suffer another party again!” says my INTJ self. ;-)
What would your ideal party look like?
You seem quite wise. Does psychology provide real wisdom or just technical understanding? At what point do psychology and philosophy intersect?
Psychology can explain how we perceive philosophical phenomenas and that is quite fascinating.
Here you go: www.versobooks.com/blogs/3553-video-alain-badiou-and-michel-foucault-philosophy-and-psychology-1965?.com&
This should help you with some ideas. This is one of my tabs right now.
Thanks very much, Chris!
I find this information quite useful, thank you so much. Until now I didn't realize this is what was going on with me. One little thing, though. The word party is on the title but is not mentioned in the video. So is this referring to anytime we have sensory overwhelm, even while we are alone?
What about a party or living situ of id'ed infj's who don't necessarily even know anything about mbti or care about it.....and how would they interact ? There's been attempts at silence bars. No talking. Just visuals... Low sense input enviros as hangouts....
As an INFP I get like this but my friend is an ENFP & we hang out a lot so now I'm really practicing to be like that. She give me so much motivation But I can't go to parties if I'm not with her.
Ne is the party
Oliver Fend agreed
Really Se is the party, but Ne works for conversations, which is helpful for parties
Parties are mostly about Se so Ne Dominant types have one of the worst builds for them. Ne tries to search abstract constructs in a place where most people aren't interested in them and want to be in the moment (Se heavy environment).
And thats why if i try to go to partys i hide in a corner with a book 😂
Ne is the function that jokes all over the place esp. in company. Do you talk about Ni??? Ne needs often to dial down but in larger company it really can come out and be let of the leash! Much inspiration everywhere and stimulation. I dont need deep talk all the time, I enjoy lightweight fun and its not as suoerficial as you see it, there can he depth in a joke and not touch deeper areas out of sensitivity for example, but I guess not everyone gets us here.
Parties are mostly about Se so Ne Dominant types have one of the worst builds for them. Ne tries to search abstract constructs in a place where most people aren't interested in them and want to be in the moment (Se heavy environment). Also Ne Doms usually love deep talk especially when it gets philosophical and.
YES.
Extreme Ne is weird..................
My boyfriend your videos lack popularity mostly because of too strong lights . Hope that tip will help. For me you just look honest and healthy with that but he is pro at slacking at youtube channels:D Like watching Amazing Atheist or Armored Sceptic (for lights reference in pro videos)