I dont mean to be offtopic but does someone know of a method to log back into an Instagram account?? I somehow lost the account password. I would love any tips you can give me
11:20 this part really had me laughing xDD A greasy haired clown that owns a sex shop and talks to younger women he doesnt know and steers the conversation towards sex, yeah, maybe some people perceive such a thing as creepy xD
How about the man in my huge church congregation that shows up at my door saying God sent him to me. The trouble is maybe He did! I just don't get an answer from God that He did being perhaps less spiritual than him. Something tells me this just isn't the right time. His wife isn't with him.
Sick and tired of the stigma of not giving eye contact. I'm partially blind and my eyes move all over the place. I avoid eye contact precisely to avoid all the stupidity that comes with interacting with people who don't have a clue about being visually impaired. Still, "I am creepy, I am probably autistic, I am rude, I am distracted, not a good listener, I'm a liar..." and all the other shit that studies find about people who don't give eye contact. I am so done with the stigma. ...anyway, apart from that, it was an interesting video. Thank you for putting it out there.
I actually find not giving eye contact to be a normal variant, some people just don’t look at others eyes when talking 🤷♀️ My youngest has a lazy eye and has had a corrective surgery that helped but didn’t fix it entirely, so I get being sensitive about that, people point it out to me with my son as if I hadn’t noticed it and it gets old.
Yes -- I experience a weird (largely hidden) disability that requires unusual accomodations and makes my social interactions seem odd most of the time. The inner debate over what to share with whom and when -- never mind my own exhaustion with lifestyle adaptations and boredom of explaining (again!) -- get very old! There are folks out there who "get it" -- and you might not even recognize them! 😉 Hang in there.... Peace 😌
Depends on the culture, may differ even in parts of the same place, differs in subcultures, too. May also differ between genders. It's really interesting!
Not only did Dr. Grande’s videos save my life during my two doctoral statistics courses, but now he’s also teaching me how to not appear creepy... how did I ever make it this far in life without knowing this stuff?!
It's sad that mental illness is creepy. It's hard enough living with a mental illness and rejection because of accidentally coming off as creepy can exacerbate symptoms even more.
Coming off as creepy doesn’t make your symptoms worse and not all mentally ill people are creepy. Only the ones who are actual creeps are creepy. If you find yourself creeping people out it’s some grunt about what you are saying and doing around them that makes them feel this way. Sorry but it’s good that you kind hide your creep factor. That will keep small children and women away from you.
@@NormaJean951 Did I say all mentally ill people are creepy? And you don't think that coming off as creepy, which would lead to rejection, would make someone more depressed?
If you are self aware enough to be conscious of not wanting to be creepy your safe period . mental illness should be graded here. I’m a psych nurse. There is a difference with a damaged brain in someone in a wheel chair who likes to pound their head and make the wheelchair move up and down loudly difference from just someone who is like afraid of bridges or germs in a unusually but mild unreasonable way. You can’t just say that all mental illness has the subtype of creepy. That’s ridiculous. Only a mentally ill person would think that. So, unreasonably judgmental and even politically incorrect ? Perhaps legal slander.? A mental health lawyer needs to challenge that claim. Lots of real old stuff can be challenged today. Has to be Archaic!
"creepy" is a straw man used to demonize the mentally ill and neurodivergent for ease of marginalization; like most demonizign straw men its purpose is to justify what the person wanted to do anyway, but felt ashamed of.
I think its more that all taxidermists appear creepy based on their job alone, while doctors appear creepy based on their behaviours at their jobs. Anyone can be creepy, but some people are deemed creepy based solely on their work.
When my wife was being induced, the doctor on staff wanted to go on walks with her through the halls. The guy was kind of dorky but okay, helps the birthing process I guess. As his shift was ending he admitted that he wasn't against stealing patients from other doctors and offered to be her ob/gyn. So, random doctor really wants to take care of the wife's lady issues. Ugh.
Oh yes! The nerd types can definitely be creepy. Too many books and not enough social life can really spell creepy in the end. We sure need those nerds though to do the most important things in life.
Years ago I got told a coworker had described me as creepy. I'm highly intelligent but have Asperger autism. I've had to learn how to appear more normal through the years and have come a long way. It really annoyed me that I'd been described that way, especially since I wanted that person to like me. Just because you aren't a typical, cheerful dimwit makes you a creep sometimes I guess.
Don't change for others.. keep switching jobs (if u can afford to) to find healthy sorroudings otherwise yes, you adapt to certain point - only for your well being. You will find nice or likeminded people, don't loose hope and watch some standip comedy to get an idea how to react to uncultured/ignorant people. Worked for me, it can for you. Hope and humor budd
Yeah man, for me people tell me the same thing and I genuinely can’t understand how I’m coming off as creepy. Like I’ll watch a video of myself on stage doing comedy or something and some people will say it was a little weird, then when I watch it I feel like I’m just a normal guy talking. Nothing more than that.
Yesterday I went to the hardware store to buy paint. The paint dept has a couple of ladies I see from time to time and we talk, and they remember my face. We noticed a man that hovered around. He was wearing an Indiana Jones hat, circle thin wire, eye glasses. Eventually one of the women approached him bc he just stared but wasnt really in the paint dept. She saw him filming the women. That's also an example of how not to be creepy.
My adult nephew has Aspergers and some quite odd behaviours and is socially awkward. But in the family we appreciate his other qualities such as intellect, sense of humour, great curiosity and love of animals. I know he has often been labelled as creepy by his peers. So I caution anyone who is quick to label others!
As a person with ASD, it’s almost certain. I came to this video to take notes and found myself wanting due to various symptoms I have. Oh well, better late than never.
I'm sadly familiar with this...Children's nowadays can "get away with it", in my times the parents were called to talk to the teacher to basically force the child to interact with others, participate in activities and stuff. I grew up with the stigma of being introverted and "too serious". When you don't know/can't interact in social situations with a "normal" behaviour in my case (being a female) you're not really considered so creepy as you are considered rude. And incredibly being "serious" -I found out through life- it's very negative in a female for some reason.
I said in another comment how someone like Ted Bundy was the opposite of what we consider creepy, only his crimes in hindsight have us thinking of him that way now. It's unfortunate how we allow prejudice like your nephew experiences too often and leave it open for real predators
I think the very nature of 'creepiness' is that intuitive feeling we get when we feel that a person has socially unseemly intentions or motives they are hiding. Not knowing a person's motives or intentions puts us on edge.
Unfortunately some people feel the need to wear their politics on their sleeve and express them in any random comment section. Lemme guess if Joe Biden were a Republican then you wouldn't find him creepy at all?
Actually, no, @@VixCrush. I kinda admire some of the things Joe Biden has done. Not least his charity work. But I used to thnk of him as "smiley" Biden, and compare him to a shyster car dealer, just based on his constant behavior. Having seen other things since, he's definitely a bit creepy. It will almost certainly hurt his election numbers, even among people whose policy positions are close to his, because of the way politics has become a personality and popularity game above all.
@@VixCrush David I'll assume you don't have children. You obviously took offense at the remark but irregardless of politics, Joe biden's behavior is a classic example of creepiness. The things that have come out of his own mouth make any reasonable parent cringe. Within the same few sentences he spoke in detailed fascination about his own leg hair, admitted children love rubbing the hairs on his legs, said that he loves children sitting in his lap, and that he learned about about cockroaches. If you remove his name and just said 70 something year old white male, you wouldn't let him within 50 feet of your child. He might not be creepy to you but to any reasonable woman or child he is the very embodiment of creepiness.
Hey, did you know that farmers cannot sell their crops because all of the restaurants are closed due to the Coronavirus? Too bad that we cannot go outside and enjoy the spring weather!
Lol long time ago I went to a beauty store with my mom. The woman who worked there and assisted us was pretty creepy lol My mom looks pretty young, so sometimes people think she's my woman. So the woman thought she was my girlfriend and was telling me how pretty she was and what a handsome young man I was, while holding my damn arm. I then corrected her and told her that she was my mom, and the normal reaction was astonishment. "Oh wow she looks so young!" Typical response. Then she said that I could go out with my mom and that nobody would ever know 😕 still holding on to my arm. I just chuckled. Now that was some creepy shit right there 😂 This woman was probably in her mid to late 50s. I subscribed. I like your channel!
Can you explain why? It's probably because I'm a guy, but I don't completely understand that. I don't begin relationships or conversations talking about sex-related topics, because I know that many people (both men and women) are weird about that stuff. There are too many taboos in the area of sex, and some people just find sex taboo in itself, so I just let it come up on its own. But I met a girl once when I was in high school who came at me that way. I never for a second thought she was creepy. I just thought she was a freak 😂. Nothing wrong with that. But whenever someone seems enthusiastic about sexual-related topics, my mind rarely thinks they're creepy. I guess it's more about how they do it. Maybe I would have found her creepy if she approached in a different way. Some men on the internet do give off that creepy vibe though, when trolling women or some in the "simp" community who worship women.
Tasheem Hargrove In our society, a man speaking to a woman would typically only use sexual language with a lover or a prostitute. By starting with sexual language a man is stating that he is interested in her only for sex. Also, he is declaring that he has the right to speak to her any way he wants, and that she doesn’t deserve the respect implied by more conventional language. Definitely a creep.
@@auntielaura5 By starting with sexual language a man is stating that he is interested in her only for sex" If a man started with comments about the weather, does that mean he is only interested in her knowledge about the weather? I understand your point. I just think it depends more on the how, than the what. I don't know if we're on the same page about this concept of "sexual language". I think that when you say "sexual language", you're thinking of a man walking up to a woman and saying something that isn't only sexual in nature, but also disrespectful. That's not what I'm talking about. Disrespect is disrespect, regardless of how it's packaged. Or are you saying that *any* language related to sex is inherently disrespectful?
Yes! Especially online dating before you even meet. Even things such as "do you wear skirts, you have nice legs"?. Maybe other women think it's a compliment, but it's creepy to me when I haven't met them!
Tasheem Hargrove It’s so hard to quantify. I was on a history-discussion Facebook group recently where a troll looked at the pictures of any female commenters and sent “you have beautiful eyes” - type comments. That was extremely creepy though in another context it wouldn’t be a problem (though it would still be cliche). I’m sure a woman approached by a very attractive man is going to cut him some more slack - especially if he has a nice smile lol. In general, I’d say that any comment calling their body or dress “sexy” is going to be offensive to most women in most settings. Saying anything that implies you want to have sex with her is always off the table. Compliments about anything other than work topics in a office /factory setting are creepy, at least until you’ve known them for awhile. It’s like the old description of obscenity - I know it when I see it. 8-)
Sounds like k j has your #, Dr. G! 🤣 (I'm going to assume that was a good-natured jab...?) True confessions -- discovered this immediately after texting little "close friends" circle about my bizarre RUclips feed (partly your fault -- Ancient Greece, Diagnosing Trump, Luther at Worms, Narcissism, Christmas Customs, Great Schism, etc.); had to forward this video to "my girls" complete with "hilarity warning".... Ain't it great to love your work? 😏
Oh, definitely. Which psychologist or even psychology student hasn't ever heard the "you're a psychologist? Oh, so you can see right through me!" or "So you know all my secrets!" To which I like to answer: "you're a car mechanic? Wow, so you know exactly what kind of car I drive, huh?"
Mary Westenberg I thought I was the only one!! I was laughing out loud on the stairmaster and ironically probably looked creepy 😂. On a serious note this video was highly informative
Hit that like button before I watched. I know you had a good time with the title and the topic. LOL. You can make any topic scientific and informative. Admire your professionalism and sensitivity so much.
If you’re a thin man with bad fashion sense and greasy hair who owns a sex shop and moonlights as a clown, watches women from afar and then gets too close and talks about sex while making too little eye contact but too many facial expressions, repeatedly touches their arm while suggesting you take pictures together while asking about her family in way too much detail and you wanna know how to not seem creepy... Dr Grandes advice... try to avoid a situation like that 😂 made me laugh way more than it should’ve, but the deadpan delivery 👌
"There's a storm brewing in the east here, in accordance with my plans. Everybody should be dripping wet by Friday......" *stares directly into the camera for several seconds.*
"mmhmmhmm we got some tornadoes touching down in the great plains hmmmmmm, oh yeah that's it, destroy that farm, you've been a bad little supercell haven't you!!!"
I once had to milk a cow for 3 days for a family that went on vacation. They had been selling me milk inexpensively and I appreciated it being a single mom to a bunch of kids. The smell of the barnyard lingured in my home for three weeks no matter how much cleaning I did. Farming is a quick exit subject for me. Raising a bunny is even too much after that wild out of character experience.
@@iroamalone6953 Your first two comments in this thread are very funny. The last one is creepy. Do you see the difference? If you can, you can get past the creepy factor with women if you want to. (My guess is that you have some -- at least at an intermediate level.). Not judging. Just saying -- I think some women view me as creepy. In FINALLY learning the warning signs of narcissists and psychopaths after too many close encounters, I finally figured out why. I can identify with women in many ways but not when it comes to shopping (ugh) or a focus on looks and material things (with either sex). Regardless, my interest in getting to know a woman because I think we can relate on an emotional level can appear to be too eager. I'm eager because I'd like more female friends. But I'm not a needy stalker -- at least I can let it roll off of me.
@@BeingLifted I really, honestly don't care about what you think. Your opinions can stay inside your head and mouth. And when they do, we both win. See the difference? And who said I have or want to decreasey creep factor with women? I couldn't care less about a relationship. I'm MGTOW dudette😘
09:50 - "So the theory generated from these findings is that individuals who display unusual patterns of nonverbal behaviour, odd emotional responses, or who have highly distinctive physical characteristics are outside of the norm and may be determined as unpredictable, may be assessed as unpredictable by other people, which leads to an increased perception of creepiness. This increased level of creepiness really increases vigilance and it makes somebody kind of work to figure out if somebody should be feared or not. Now interestingly these results did not indicate that people that are assessed as creepy are also assessed as having ill intentions, but rather they're just maybe a worry about the potential of dangerousness." In my opinion, that's the most important bit. A lot really seems to have to do with prejudices, wrong assumptions, flawed conclusions and ambiguous novelty. I wholeheartedly agree with clowns being assessed as creepy. I cannot understand why clowns are supposedly helpful in clinical context. If people seem creepy due to no fault of their own, i.e. autism spectrum, facial paralysis, severe mental illness, side effects of certain medications and other, I find it very helpful to make a conscious effort to get used to these people and/ or these characteristics. In my experience the feeling of creepiness will completely disappear. I would have been interested in finding out if there is a cultural component. In Europe I expect some people in some areas of life to be eccentric and interestingly weird, challenging my curiousity and my response. - While"creepy" would always encompass "too close for comfort" and "alarming since possibly dangerous". That's just my opinion, though. Thank you very much!
Not talking about people with visual or physical disabilities or autism spectrum, but for people who are creepy, if you want to appear less creepy, BE less creepy. Face yourself and work on yourself.
... I think you mean "but for people who APPEAR creepy." Like most of us, I have no doubt I've encountered creeps. I've even befriended creeps who hid it well. (Gulp.) And had a good friend who dabbled in clowning while going to mortuary school. But just because someone might seem creepy TO YOU at first doesn't make them a creep. Everyone's creep boundaries vary and, to me, the way your comment is worded is creepy.
I meant exactly what I said. Not everyone who "appears" creepy is necessarily creepy. I was directing my comment, as I said, to people who are creepy. Interesting that you find advice to creeps to face themselves and work on themselves to be creepy. Sorry I triggered you.
😂😂 My dating profile has changed numerous times in specifics about what I'm NOT looking for and still attract the creeps. Well, first, you men ALWAYS seem to bring up sexual innuendos after 30 minutes of conversing. Right there is where I abruptly end the conversation. It's utterly disrespectful and tells me a lot about intent.
Some times men get nervous and say things they wanted to leave alone like sex for example. You have to understand that men think about sex very frequently and usually make an effort to not say it. If you happened to be very pretty or wear something revealing, that makes it harder on us to avoid bringing up the subject of sex. It happens naturally. In any way, when we bring up this subject, many times it isn't done in a suggestive or evocative way but rather as a simply conversation topic. What I mean it isn't always done with an ill intent. Also, if you're enjoying talking to a man and he happened to start talking about sex, you can simply tell him you don't like to talk about this and most men would be fine with changing subject. Many men don't know how women think or what women really want.
@@LateNightCigars Speak for yourself. You remind me of one of those Taliban types who insist that women cover up because otherwise they can't stop themselves from thinking about sex all the time. You'd have to be completely estranged from human society from birth to not know that it's not socially acceptable to go rambling about sex with random strangers. You don't have to read a person's mind to realize that. You just have to mingle with people a little and get a sense when people start excusing themselves from being around you.
Being an introvert, I often feel that people could see me as creepy. Even though I am female and probably appear as average, I don't smile often, have a fascination with macabre and tend to watch people. I find that people are way more interesting to observe, than to communicate with. Even though I don't fit all the categories perfectly; I'd say that I might have a higher than average creep factor. This list did not include being introverted, which was surprising to me. Maybe I missed it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't included. So, am I wrong or was it possibly missing from the study? Because when you consider it, introverts are more likely to fit a couple of those categories, based on the nature of our personality. I don't know, what does everyone else think? Side Note- I'm left handed, INFP, maybe it's just a combo if all these factors.👀 I never minded being called "weird" but I don't consider this the same. 😅 I don't mind either way; I find it all very fascinating!
Marie L - If you aren’t already, channel your natural interests and aptitudes into a profession or side gig or something. If you’re good at giving sensible advice, you could do some kind of coaching that doesn’t involve credentials. Or do some other form of consulting. It’s so much fun to be able to use your insights to help others. I also love observing people, and find it exponentially more interesting than interaction, since people will be themselves if they don’t know they’re being watched. People-watching is way up there as a favorite pastime. I always come away with such interesting and useful insights after just an hour of people-watching. Being at a social gathering where people are guarded and uninvested is boring because there aren’t any juicy takeaways when you only make small talk. Basically, unless I get to learn something new and be transformed from an experience, it’s just not worth my time & energy. I love being an INTJ, even if the average person doesn’t recognize the power of this archetype.
So your one of those we Ird Nature Freak People...better know as INFP. You find them in the forest naked while the normal people are hunting for bambi and then I say "Hello" but you just smile and run away....Nah that's not weird.
This struck a cord with me as I married someone I found very creepy and could not get away from. He would not take no for an answer and I had a terrible life with him. Listen to your gut people.
When I feel creeped out, I sense ulterior motives, sneakiness, skulking, snooping to gather info. I dont like either agressive staring or inability to even glance at me. Refusal to wave or say hi creeps me out too. I get creeped out when I cant tell what someone really thinks or feels or understand their behaviors.
Thank you for balancing out serious educational information with a good sense of humour! Sometimes people behave "oddly" because they lack social skills and / or have troubles interpreting other people's reactions. I found PEERS (Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills) from University of California helpful.
all jokes aside, just finished watching and damn this was more interesting than i anticipated. really really well made video as always. and good job on that final answer ahahah
Before formal education began producing cookie cutter humans; humans were individuals . They were educated n learned to read to think independently to calculate n to get along n become citizens that contribute to a social whole and people were free to develop as individuals. Today more often than not what were considered individuals with some being eccentric are now viewed as abnormal.
How to appear less creepy -> be less creepy. There's this guy at my local bar who introduced himself to me then started hanging around my neck, and insisting on giving me his phone number. He is not physically attractive but I am not someone who can't see beyond that. Since then other bar goers have told me (out of the blue, i was not asking) that they felt bad for the guy because he's a really good guy but can't get a girlfriend. This left me thinking: that is no mystery ..... he hangs around strange women's necks at the bar and pressures them to call him. He could be the most wonderful man in the world but he has forever turned me off by behaving like a creep. This kind of behavior shows a lack of respect for physical boundaries and it shows me that he thinks of me not like a person but like something to fulfill his needs.
I don't think people purposely want to be "creepy" or socially obnoxious but rather lack an education in Inter n tra relational skills; the knowledge n modeling n feedback to acquire these important life skills.
Your rationale for his alleged creepiness ist bs. In the right circumstances you'd love if a guy would break your physical boundaries (ideally unansked for 'romance'). He appears 'creepy' because he is nice but not sexually attractive.
This was actually pretty interesting and thanks for discussing it. I'll never forget my daughters somehow coming to the conclusion as they were growing up that men with mustaches were creepy..... Anyway I can also recall a time while hiking as some young kids were passing, I smiled and said hi.... the parents were maybe 15 feet behind the group. My wife said "don't speak to young girls, that's creepy...." My thought was, I speak to everyone (just my nature), and their parents were like 15 feet away. That comment for some reason bothered me. Spoke more to the world we live in when a man, can't say hi to a young girl (in a group), for fear of being thought creepy. Wow.. Just wow.....
Your wife is wrong. My mom is the same way. In my moms case it's her way to promote fake shame in men she is speaking to, so that she can gain some control and high moral ground. And that is creepy :)
Yes, that is the world - don't blame the wife or girls. Blame the men that are the danger that makes it necessary to be careful. The mustache thing is commonly associated with creeps too.
I think being too "helpful " can be a sign of creepy. Overstepping the boundary of being useful into insisting that they help with things you don't need he.p with . I have a male friend like this , I'm female . He also has few friends and is very leaning on me a pushy when he needs help . My friends all find him creepy
I edited my profile “I have my mother’s skin..” and omitted the part about wearing that skin whenever guests stay at my motel. Baby steps toward a less creepy future!
'Funeral director', really? I think that's a very honerable profession. Also interesting how someone who deals with death a lot is creepy, but doctors are non-creepy. So how about a coroner, or a (forensic) pathologist? They are doctors who deal almost exclusively with death. Would that cause a system error on the creep-meter?
Thank You Dr Grande for yet another interesting video. Question: Have you published articles or books? I would also like to obtain transcripts of some of your videos if is is available. I am seeing a psychiatrist and would like to refer him to some of your discussions, but I think he would rather read than watch your work. :) Saria
This is helpful. I coincidentally had an older, very tall and thin coworker “watch” me without speaking to me much for several months, telling others he found me attractive. Then he appeared on the elevator in the morning a few times and ventured to say something to me in the softest voice imaginable. Despite my unwillingness to engage with the “creepy behavior”, he showed up on my floor with cupcakes and asked me out to lunch (all I know at this point is his name). He became aware of his creepiness after my refusal and decided to remedy the situation by coming up to my floor and approaching me again (this time in my cubicle) to hand deliver a letter he typed apologizing for making me uncomfortable, and then sharing odd personal details about himself and his discomfort with others. After sending him an email at work outlining my boundaries (wishing for no further contact from him) the behavior thankfully stopped. But for a while I wondered if this was a potentially dangerous person. That’s the “creep” factor... are they dangerous or just awkward and slightly inappropriate?
Go by your gut. Also there is no need to go out with people you don't want to go out with, even if for a coffee. It blurs boundaries and makes things more awkward when you inevitably say no.
@@annenextdoor612 people like you end up as victims because you're too stupid aka quote unquote nice to hone in on others creep vibes, set real boundaries, and say no.
Dr. Grande, hitting it out of the park every single question, no exceptions! It's so great that you do answer people's queries in a genuine and serious way without assuming that it's not serious enough to warrant analysis. The concept of creepy is pretty important to me! A lot of men resentfully say that women call men creepy willy-nilly without justification, and that it's used as a baseless reason to shame someone. Which I think is just a very narrow view, because it really is that women HAVE to watch for this kind of sign far, far more. Thank you, Dr. Grande!
Are you aware that men perceive creepy very differently than women? To many men these days, women calling them creepy means women regard them as un-attractive. What a man regards as creepy is someone who really IS dangerous or convincingly presents himself as such.
@@taraswertelecki7874 are you aware that it is your job to present yourself positively to other people just like it is their job to present themselves positively to you if either wants an equally positive reaction? If you don't know how to do that then take the time and effort to learn. Grow up.
Women have to take their safety very seriously. A mistake can cost a woman her life. While a man might fear being embarrassed by a woman's rejection a woman may fear being raped or murdered.
@@careyh827 do you give that same credit to men? In my experience when I try and explain that I have to watch out for certain behaviors in women I get told that’s I’m generalizing.
@@taraswertelecki7874 in my day, "creepy" had nothing to do with not being "good looking." The second of your definitions was a consensus. Ted Bundy didn't set off creep-o-meters in men OR women... if he had, he'd have been caught sooner. All ppl make erroneous assumptions about attractive, well-dressed, well-spoken men (and women). They are assumed to be "normal" and "safe". Only the most glaring oddities in behavior may break through that bias. If an attractive, well-dressed, well-spoken man was perceived by another man as creepy, it could be because they think he's signaling unwanted sexual interest in them. Or his name is Chad... and for some reason, that's a problem. Anyway, rarely do either men or women detect truly dangerous individuals who intend to do them harm -- be it stealing your wallet or having you for dinner -- if they meet social standards of attractiveness.
I have trouble with eye contact, but this can be changed with conscious decision. Also, the big one, personal appearance with clothing and grooming (and showering) is under our total control, so much can be corrected.
Not mentioning you're taxidermist until you're deep in a relationship is a great idea. The best way for your partner to find it out is by visiting your home. In general, let me suggest a conjecture: If you're creepy, every attempt to act in a less creepy manner will make you seem more creepy.
Doctor Grande. If you need a subject to talk about, I’d love to know why people are mean and what can I successfully do to not take it personally. I DO act unassuming, humble, smile when I have eye contact with them, have a positive demeanor (I’m fifty + and I sometimes skip), downplay my looks (especially around other women my age that are with husbands). I try and treat people the way I want to be treated and make the world a nicer place for those around me. I’m always disappointed when someone doesn’t smile back, acknowledge me when I’ve let them into traffic, hold the door/elevator for them (I’m trying to think of public situations). Lol - it won’t hurt my feelings if you think I should quit bothering you and go seek professional help... smiling and half kidding here..... and won’t take offense if this doesn’t fit your agenda/program (others may not find this topic helpful and won’t appeal to the masses). I just, very much appreciate what you do! I can’t imagine, with your workload, and how you fit these informative videos into your day (but I’m glad you do)! You’re very giving and I love seeing all the views you get! Cheers Doctor!
Interesting, however; appearance will play a much greater role in whether someone is perceived as “creepy” (ie someone who is considered attractive will rarely be perceived as creepy even when exhibiting behaviour that would be considered creepy in a less attractive person)
Creepiness can just be boiled down to someone people question or dont understand. Until I actually start talking Im a total creep to people and Im fine with that....im not going to change my dress or interests to seem more normal. People will judge others based on zero information so you just have to deal with it and live your life.
The items that are more likely to be perceived as creepy are also, most likely, correlated with the perceived level of physical attractiveness of the individual committing said actions. If the woman you are speaking with finds you physically unattractive you are creepy to her no matter what you do if it is ever even hinted that you are romantically interested in her. Brad Pitt could moonlight as a clown on the side and any woman who finds him attractive wouldn't even blink. Creepiness is inversely proportional sexual attractiveness. Woman's obsession with Ted Bundy is a good example.
*Giggling* Maybe I'm projecting this onto Dr Grande, but I have the impression whenever he had to say "creepy/creepiness" he found it hard not to start laughing. I at least giggled through the whole video, although it still was very informative. So good job done on this one anyway.
My personal feeling about creepiness in a person is that they evoke a fear in me that they will attach themselves to me, in a fixation sort of way. They will want to be with me, go anywhere I go, see what I do, talk to people I talk to, almost like they're being my shadow. It's not that they want something from me as if they were a parasite, it's more like they are something stuck on the bottom of my shoe and I can't remove it. There certainly can be the feeling that they are threatening in some way too, but that's actually not necessary for them to still be creepy to me. I think sexually creepy people register most strongly on the creepy detector because if you don't want this person fixating on you, then you REALLY don't want them sexually fixating on you.
The nature of creepiness is a perfectly legit question. I know a guy who has poor social skills and can get pretty creepy at times. He never has any ill intent. His creepy behavior comes from being self-conscious and not knowing what to do in some situations. It's like some sort of social paralysis.
I've been told by people that they avoided me at first because I give off a "serial killer vibe" in public, but they warmed up to me quick after they got to know me online. I'm guessing it's my lack of body language and microexpressions, or my verbal affect? Either way, thank you for making this. Maybe I can stop giving people the impression that I'm gonna do something hideous to them. It's be nice to make real life friends. EDIT: It seems kind of unfair to have to modify so many things when other people don't have to, just to be accepted. That being said, if it's the only way to be accepted, It seems opting for the very exhausting small amounts of contact via massive amounts of hyperawareness and control is probably better than avoiding physical interaction altogether. What would you have to say for an autistic who can't make eye contact because it feels physically painful to do so? Surely being expected to do at least that might be a bit much?
My opinion on this has changed in the couple past years. I used to think like you describe here, struggling with similar things and anxiety myself. But as I was studying psychology more deeply, I found out that it might not be so easy for neurotypical people to just "accept" people who behave oddly. Recognizing facial expressions is something that many do unconsciously, because it has been actively coded into their brain since birth, or even before that due to inherited genetical traits. Someone who gets a creepy feeling from a person, who's words are in conflict with their expression, might not even know why they feel creeped out, but they process their environment in their subconscious constantly. It's not a game that neurotypical people like to play, it's something they can't help but to play. I understand that this might not be a very comforting view, but I think it's less gloomy to think that there are two kinds of people who don't speak each other's languages, than that atypical people are just inferior and need to try to play the part of an NT to be accepted. Just like we can try to learn to communicate better, neurotypical people can learn to understand us better, if they first understand why we act differently. Not everyone wants to do that, but those people aren't worth your friendship anyways :)
@@fiikahlo oh hey, i'm so sorry if i gave off the impression it seems i have! I didn't mean to imply at all that NTs are inferior, so I must have explained myself very poorly. I think more that NT people run windows, and neurodiverse people run linux. And right now, just like with linux and windows, it's usually linux-users that write the custom dlls to make the platforms compatible. I think we both need one-another and we do better together than we ever could apart. I also don't blame people for finding me creepy because that same reaction probably saved their lives quite a few times. I'm not dangerous, but there are probably plenty of people out there who have my traits that ARE, and i'm not going to begrudge anyone their safety for that reason alone. I meant it more as an actual observation, because it does feel exhausting, and I was hoping the observation would prompt some discussion about how to mitigate how exhausting it can be. The issue is, I didnt' communicate that clearly, that was my bad. Thank you for pointing things out and for explaining. You helped me see where I went wrong and also probably helped other people going through similar issues as well!
I feel really bad for all those guys that are socially challenged struggling with this. It could also add to the creepiness when they try to blatantly compensate for it, which I think many people could also pick up on. I would trust someone more that simply spoke their mind and didn't try to manipulate what I thought about them vs someone that is trying to sell themselves to me.
With respect with clothes, I ask all women I interact with if they’d be willing to take their clothes off and so I can stare at them and make balloon animals. 🤔
I watched because my older teens use “creepy” to describe a nerdy friend of mine that I don’t think is creepy at all. He’s an engineer so he does a lot of observation and the kids say he stares a lot. Just socially awkward in my book.
please be careful dismissing your child's fears. they could be picking up different vibes from him because he acts different around them. one of my mother's friends made me quite uncomfortable and he actually turned out to be a pedo. even ended up in jail from the stuff on his computer. i'm not saying your friend is like that, but please keep an open mind
mia1444732 Yes, I totally agree. I grew up unprotected in a family of pedos. My now older kids were over sheltered because of my own experiences. But my pedo radar is 80%sharp (don’t ask how I measure that, maybe my age and life experience with fostering troubled youth) I did have a discussion with them about it and glad that we can have open conversations about it. Having an open door to discuss, even in the middle of the night, is vital, I agree. Thanks for pointing that out.
Dr. Grande, I wanted to share with you that I really enjoy your work. You are a great help for so many people, especially with the difficulty in accessing mental health care so many experience. I'm a female with high-functioning ASD, and am an INFJ- I always worry about coming across as creepy. Thanks to this video, I've learned specifically the areas to improve and I am very grateful.
I grew up in the country on a farm with all older boys. I guess it made me ‘odd’ because a lot of women appear to find me creepy or something. 😫 If you don’t fit the typical societal mold, you’ll likely be seen as creepy, I guess.
One crucial part of being creepy that was missing (in my opinion), was the sense of entitlement to disregard for personal boundaries. Lack of social skills and awareness combined with a disregard for boundaries, especially personal space (which includes staring) is very unnerving. Being a skinny a guy who owns a funeral home, and talks about meteorology might come off as a little weird. Now add the personal boundary part...you get a skinny guy who owns a funeral home, likes to talk about meteorology, but also wants to touch your arm and stand really close while talking to you, and even when you back away, he closes the gap...that's creepy.
What a "Sweetheart" good sport. ,,, Wonderful sense of humor that "Creeps" into your presentation. You also have understated personality aspects that can really grow on a person!
I’m diagnosed with Asperger’s and I am absolutely convinced I only come off “less creepy” than my male friends is due to my gender and appearance. Great video, it will help me cover this topic in my book
This is officially one of my new favorite channels. When I worked with individuals with development and psychological obstacles this was one of the things we had to discuss and teach our male clients in particular. I laughed pretty damn hard as well at that creepy situation you created.😜 Keep up the good work!😊
I really try to avoid thin men who appear unkempt, have poor fashion sense, own a sex-shop whilst pursuing professional clown-hood, display flat affect, and ask me sexually provocative questions about my personal predilections. LOL!!!!! However, if I was within view of such individual, it is inevitable that this awkward interaction would occur. That says something about me (I am really not creepy); nevertheless, creepiness may represent difficulties with social cognition a priori rejection/punishment...I don't know whether to approach or avoid saying more...
On the subject of creepy. I once met Jim Jones (the preacher) at a church auditorium in N.Y. (about 1968). My roommate at the time insisted that I'd like him and got me to tag along with her. She introduced me to him and he glommed on to me as though I was the only person in the room, except that he was shouting in a loud, professional announcer-type of voice and stood very close. I found that extremely creepy whilst my roommate thought that he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. As soon as he moved on to other people, I made a beeline for the exit. One persons creepy is another persons charismatic, I guess.
8:30 - double standard alert!!! i cant recall a single conversation ive had with a girl without HER steering the convo toward sex. "attention makes me feel uncomfortable, i project my discomfort by infering OTHERS are creepy"
i should say im just relating the girls i knew in real life online conversations are a entirely different. and maybe steering the conversation towards sex might mean making sexual inuendos out of mundane /ordinary topics?
You have successfully creeped me out! I also laughed all the way through this video. I feel some mistake awkwardness for creepy. I personally find a few things super creepy ....staring, violating personal space, following, wearing a mustache without a beard (and also wearing a beard without a mustache), men wearing too much jewelry, dirty old shoes, bad BO, men with long fingernails, men in long coats, women with too many cats. I try not to judge, but I still am creeped out.
Tattoos..The more tattoos,the creepier either sex seem to me.Nose piercing,even creepier still.Deshabille,unkempt appearance,mismatched clothes. Trying to start a conversation with a stranger as if they are an old friend..Yeah,creepy.
Ugh I don't judge based on looks, but the first approach they had. I run away when a guy tries to make friends instantly when I don't know him, and have this smirk on their face and too much eye contact. It's funny because I like thin guys, dark hair and pale haha I don't mind when guys are shy or awkward at times, as long as the guy can keep a conversation with me and it's comfortable, I'm more than ok.
I love your communication style. Hilarious and brilliant. Yep...have met lots of creeps...especially online dating lol. Usually I just get weird vibes like something is 'off'.
To be honest there is no sure shot way to get rid of creepiness . I respect girls and their personal boundaries . I have lot of female friends . Yet I creeped out a few girls .
I am taking a middle of the road approach. I am a TV meteorologist, but I do the forecast in a clown suit
Lol
🤣🤣🤣
dynomite!
Giggles
I dont mean to be offtopic but does someone know of a method to log back into an Instagram account??
I somehow lost the account password. I would love any tips you can give me
Dr. Grande has turned comedian and he's funny.
Yup
Yenni Cannon yup
He was always funny, though his sense of humour was merely more subtle in the past.
He's funny as hell
Af
"... instead talk about meteorology, farming, and economics..." So impressed you kept a straight face!
Thins Dwight Shrute would talk about on a date.
@@greciabarraza4986 false. Beets, black bears, Battlestar Galactica
This made me laugh out really loud 😂
Ah yes: the old British "talk about the weather" trick! 🙂
I love his humor 🤣
11:20 this part really had me laughing xDD
A greasy haired clown that owns a sex shop and talks to younger women he doesnt know and steers the conversation towards sex, yeah, maybe some people perceive such a thing as creepy xD
I know!! I literally busted a gut laughing at the mental picture!😂😂
I loved that one!!! 😂😂😂😂
Right..Who knew? 😂
How about the man in my huge church congregation that shows up at my door saying God sent him to me. The trouble is maybe He did! I just don't get an answer from God that He did being perhaps less spiritual than him. Something tells me this just isn't the right time. His wife isn't with him.
Im at work and Im crying in laughter
Sick and tired of the stigma of not giving eye contact. I'm partially blind and my eyes move all over the place. I avoid eye contact precisely to avoid all the stupidity that comes with interacting with people who don't have a clue about being visually impaired. Still, "I am creepy, I am probably autistic, I am rude, I am distracted, not a good listener, I'm a liar..." and all the other shit that studies find about people who don't give eye contact. I am so done with the stigma.
...anyway, apart from that, it was an interesting video. Thank you for putting it out there.
I actually find not giving eye contact to be a normal variant, some people just don’t look at others eyes when talking 🤷♀️ My youngest has a lazy eye and has had a corrective surgery that helped but didn’t fix it entirely, so I get being sensitive about that, people point it out to me with my son as if I hadn’t noticed it and it gets old.
Yes -- I experience a weird (largely hidden) disability that requires unusual accomodations and makes my social interactions seem odd most of the time. The inner debate over what to share with whom and when -- never mind my own exhaustion with lifestyle adaptations and boredom of explaining (again!) -- get very old! There are folks out there who "get it" -- and you might not even recognize them! 😉 Hang in there.... Peace 😌
Have you tried wearing sun glasses?
Wear a clown mask then people wont notice your eyes or will think it's goes well together.
Too much eye contact can also be considered creepy.
Depends on the culture, may differ even in parts of the same place, differs in subcultures, too. May also differ between genders. It's really interesting!
Yes, I was surprised this wasnt listed. At least I felt judged creepy when I did this.
He actually talks about that in a video on attractiveness😋
Also autistic trade.
.
was thinking the same! it's like the person wants you to know you are the target and wants to kill you soon or later
Not only did Dr. Grande’s videos save my life during my two doctoral statistics courses, but now he’s also teaching me how to not appear creepy... how did I ever make it this far in life without knowing this stuff?!
I can only communicate through my stuffed cat which I use as a puppet. Is that creepy?
Youre lucky, your name isnt Norman (a fictional taxidermist memorialized by A Hitchcock)
Pretty much depends on how your cat came to be stuffed in the first place.
Stuffed with what.?
@@tlcampbell5073 Spinach.
As long as it’s not furless. If it’s got nice, fluffy fur people will be less scared and creeped out for sure.
Me: sitting in my car alone, taking notes. Lmfao
Giggles
Not at all creepy 🥰😍
@@NormaJean951 😅
Hahaha!!!
It's sad that mental illness is creepy. It's hard enough living with a mental illness and rejection because of accidentally coming off as creepy can exacerbate symptoms even more.
Coming off as creepy doesn’t make your symptoms worse and not all mentally ill people are creepy. Only the ones who are actual creeps are creepy. If you find yourself creeping people out it’s some grunt about what you are saying and doing around them that makes them feel this way. Sorry but it’s good that you kind hide your creep factor. That will keep small children and women away from you.
@@NormaJean951 Did I say all mentally ill people are creepy? And you don't think that coming off as creepy, which would lead to rejection, would make someone more depressed?
If you are self aware enough to be conscious of not wanting to be creepy your safe period . mental illness should be graded here. I’m a psych nurse. There is a difference with a damaged brain in someone in a wheel chair who likes to pound their head and make the wheelchair move up and down loudly difference from just someone who is like afraid of bridges or germs in a unusually but mild unreasonable way. You can’t just say that all mental illness has the subtype of creepy. That’s ridiculous. Only a mentally ill person would think that. So, unreasonably judgmental and even politically incorrect ? Perhaps legal slander.? A mental health lawyer needs to challenge that claim. Lots of real old stuff can be challenged today. Has to be Archaic!
"creepy" is a straw man used to demonize the mentally ill and neurodivergent for ease of marginalization; like most demonizign straw men its purpose is to justify what the person wanted to do anyway, but felt ashamed of.
Especially if you have anxiety
No offense, but I've definitely met a lot of creepy doctors. I literally shudder thinking about their behaviors that put them in that category.
I think its more that all taxidermists appear creepy based on their job alone, while doctors appear creepy based on their behaviours at their jobs. Anyone can be creepy, but some people are deemed creepy based solely on their work.
Erin precisely. 👍🏻
When my wife was being induced, the doctor on staff wanted to go on walks with her through the halls. The guy was kind of dorky but okay, helps the birthing process I guess. As his shift was ending he admitted that he wasn't against stealing patients from other doctors and offered to be her ob/gyn. So, random doctor really wants to take care of the wife's lady issues. Ugh.
Oh yes! The nerd types can definitely be creepy. Too many books and not enough social life can really spell creepy in the end. We sure need those nerds though to do the most important things in life.
@@sarah06ish yes, agreed
Years ago I got told a coworker had described me as creepy. I'm highly intelligent but have Asperger autism. I've had to learn how to appear more normal through the years and have come a long way. It really annoyed me that I'd been described that way, especially since I wanted that person to like me. Just because you aren't a typical, cheerful dimwit makes you a creep sometimes I guess.
Aspy's I've met are often interesting and authentic.
Don't change for others.. keep switching jobs (if u can afford to) to find healthy sorroudings otherwise yes, you adapt to certain point - only for your well being. You will find nice or likeminded people, don't loose hope and watch some standip comedy to get an idea how to react to uncultured/ignorant people. Worked for me, it can for you. Hope and humor budd
@@steretsjaaj2368 Oh I love standup comedy. I’ve actually done it a few times. I’ve met Doug Stanhope twice. He’s great.
@@vickielawson3114 haven't heard of him but I can see your on a right path already, please continue, world is yours :)
Yeah man, for me people tell me the same thing and I genuinely can’t understand how I’m coming off as creepy. Like I’ll watch a video of myself on stage doing comedy or something and some people will say it was a little weird, then when I watch it I feel like I’m just a normal guy talking. Nothing more than that.
Yesterday I went to the hardware store to buy paint. The paint dept has a couple of ladies I see from time to time and we talk, and they remember my face. We noticed a man that hovered around. He was wearing an Indiana Jones hat, circle thin wire, eye glasses. Eventually one of the women approached him bc he just stared but wasnt really in the paint dept. She saw him filming the women. That's also an example of how not to be creepy.
That sound more like an receipts of how to be creepy. Watch women from afar and film them. *shudder*
Come on now Dr.Grande! What woman doesn't grow up dreaming about the day they finally meet their Prince Creepy!
haha, yes, they still marry them and have kids with them, but I don't think they can see the creepiness like many others can.
Hah, at :43 sec Dr grande strives to keep his composure. It is a funny question to read out loud :)
Indeed. Ba-Ha and Ba-Ha!
Ha! Ha! I know!! I really thought he was going to lose it!🤣🤣
*never talk about sex, instead talk about meteorology...* this after the description of the thin, greasy clown-moonlighter...i laughed a *lot.*
My adult nephew has Aspergers and some quite odd behaviours and is socially awkward. But in the family we appreciate his other qualities such as intellect, sense of humour, great curiosity and love of animals. I know he has often been labelled as creepy by his peers. So I caution anyone who is quick to label others!
I have an ASD son and I hope nobody ever thinks of him as creepy 😪
As a person with ASD, it’s almost certain. I came to this video to take notes and found myself wanting due to various symptoms I have. Oh well, better late than never.
I have Asperger syndrome aswell it is very difficult to communicate with others , people are very cruel and terribly judgmental.
I'm sadly familiar with this...Children's nowadays can "get away with it", in my times the parents were called to talk to the teacher to basically force the child to interact with others, participate in activities and stuff. I grew up with the stigma of being introverted and "too serious". When you don't know/can't interact in social situations with a "normal" behaviour in my case (being a female) you're not really considered so creepy as you are considered rude. And incredibly being "serious" -I found out through life- it's very negative in a female for some reason.
I said in another comment how someone like Ted Bundy was the opposite of what we consider creepy, only his crimes in hindsight have us thinking of him that way now. It's unfortunate how we allow prejudice like your nephew experiences too often and leave it open for real predators
I think the very nature of 'creepiness' is that intuitive feeling we get when we feel that a person has socially unseemly intentions or motives they are hiding. Not knowing a person's motives or intentions puts us on edge.
Can't be true because psychopaths trick people all the time
Your scenario describing an individual with a high level of creepiness had me laughing out loud 😂.
Joe Biden sniffing your hair is pretty creepy.
Unfortunately some people feel the need to wear their politics on their sleeve and express them in any random comment section. Lemme guess if Joe Biden were a Republican then you wouldn't find him creepy at all?
Actually, no, @@VixCrush. I kinda admire some of the things Joe Biden has done. Not least his charity work. But I used to thnk of him as "smiley" Biden, and compare him to a shyster car dealer, just based on his constant behavior. Having seen other things since, he's definitely a bit creepy. It will almost certainly hurt his election numbers, even among people whose policy positions are close to his, because of the way politics has become a personality and popularity game above all.
@@VixCrush David I'll assume you don't have children. You obviously took offense at the remark but irregardless of politics, Joe biden's behavior is a classic example of creepiness. The things that have come out of his own mouth make any reasonable parent cringe. Within the same few sentences he spoke in detailed fascination about his own leg hair, admitted children love rubbing the hairs on his legs, said that he loves children sitting in his lap, and that he learned about about cockroaches. If you remove his name and just said 70 something year old white male, you wouldn't let him within 50 feet of your child. He might not be creepy to you but to any reasonable woman or child he is the very embodiment of creepiness.
Mega Man You lost me when you used irregardless as a real word. It may have made Webster’s cut but it’s extraneous and superfluous regardless.
@@VixCrush dude im a trump supporter but i think some stuff trump does is a bit creepy/weird, but joe biden god that man screams rapist
If someone tried to break the ice with me by talking about meteorology, farming and economics, I’d edge away slowly. 😆
Same here, lol
Or religion lol
Hey, did you know that farmers cannot sell their crops because all of the restaurants are closed due to the Coronavirus? Too bad that we cannot go outside and enjoy the spring weather!
You cutting out automatically many autistic people this way 😢
..
How this rain should help with my corn futures
Lol long time ago I went to a beauty store with my mom. The woman who worked there and assisted us was pretty creepy lol My mom looks pretty young, so sometimes people think she's my woman.
So the woman thought she was my girlfriend and was telling me how pretty she was and what a handsome young man I was, while holding my damn arm. I then corrected her and told her that she was my mom, and the normal reaction was astonishment.
"Oh wow she looks so young!" Typical response.
Then she said that I could go out with my mom and that nobody would ever know 😕 still holding on to my arm. I just chuckled.
Now that was some creepy shit right there 😂 This woman was probably in her mid to late 50s.
I subscribed. I like your channel!
Ooh, major objectification of your mom as well as the familiarity, so sorry for you two.
Some people just don't know what personal space even is
Blech !!!
Agree! Any guy starts with the sexual comments, my creep-o-meter goes off and I'm out of there. Most women dislike a man coming at us like that.
Can you explain why? It's probably because I'm a guy, but I don't completely understand that. I don't begin relationships or conversations talking about sex-related topics, because I know that many people (both men and women) are weird about that stuff. There are too many taboos in the area of sex, and some people just find sex taboo in itself, so I just let it come up on its own.
But I met a girl once when I was in high school who came at me that way. I never for a second thought she was creepy. I just thought she was a freak 😂. Nothing wrong with that. But whenever someone seems enthusiastic about sexual-related topics, my mind rarely thinks they're creepy. I guess it's more about how they do it. Maybe I would have found her creepy if she approached in a different way. Some men on the internet do give off that creepy vibe though, when trolling women or some in the "simp" community who worship women.
Tasheem Hargrove In our society, a man speaking to a woman would typically only use sexual language with a lover or a prostitute. By starting with sexual language a man is stating that he is interested in her only for sex. Also, he is declaring that he has the right to speak to her any way he wants, and that she doesn’t deserve the respect implied by more conventional language. Definitely a creep.
@@auntielaura5 By starting with sexual language a man is stating that he is interested in her only for sex"
If a man started with comments about the weather, does that mean he is only interested in her knowledge about the weather? I understand your point. I just think it depends more on the how, than the what.
I don't know if we're on the same page about this concept of "sexual language". I think that when you say "sexual language", you're thinking of a man walking up to a woman and saying something that isn't only sexual in nature, but also disrespectful. That's not what I'm talking about. Disrespect is disrespect, regardless of how it's packaged. Or are you saying that *any* language related to sex is inherently disrespectful?
Yes! Especially online dating before you even meet. Even things such as "do you wear skirts, you have nice legs"?. Maybe other women think it's a compliment, but it's creepy to me when I haven't met them!
Tasheem Hargrove It’s so hard to quantify. I was on a history-discussion Facebook group recently where a troll looked at the pictures of any female commenters and sent “you have beautiful eyes” - type comments. That was extremely creepy though in another context it wouldn’t be a problem (though it would still be cliche). I’m sure a woman approached by a very attractive man is going to cut him some more slack - especially if he has a nice smile lol. In general, I’d say that any comment calling their body or dress “sexy” is going to be offensive to most women in most settings. Saying anything that implies you want to have sex with her is always off the table. Compliments about anything other than work topics in a office /factory setting are creepy, at least until you’ve known them for awhile. It’s like the old description of obscenity - I know it when I see it. 8-)
Psychologists watch/study people's behaviors, & ask personal questions- that's on the creepy meter.
They are reading them.
k j And clients don’t study their own therapists? IMO it’s human nature, not creepy at all.
Sounds like k j has your #, Dr. G! 🤣 (I'm going to assume that was a good-natured jab...?) True confessions -- discovered this immediately after texting little "close friends" circle about my bizarre RUclips feed (partly your fault -- Ancient Greece, Diagnosing Trump, Luther at Worms, Narcissism, Christmas Customs, Great Schism, etc.); had to forward this video to "my girls" complete with "hilarity warning".... Ain't it great to love your work? 😏
You are quite right here. Accepted!
Oh, definitely. Which psychologist or even psychology student hasn't ever heard the "you're a psychologist? Oh, so you can see right through me!" or "So you know all my secrets!" To which I like to answer: "you're a car mechanic? Wow, so you know exactly what kind of car I drive, huh?"
Hahaha!! I had to watch this video just because the title made me LOL! 🤣
Me too. It was a sad lol
Mary Westenberg I thought I was the only one!! I was laughing out loud on the stairmaster and ironically probably looked creepy 😂. On a serious note this video was highly informative
Mary you know you're creepy! 😂😂 I kid I kid.
Mary Westenberg 😂 so did I.
@@mrmoveandspeak558 I love Dr. Grande's channel! I would have watched anyway, but it is a pretty funny topic 😁
Hit that like button before I watched. I know you had a good time with the title and the topic. LOL. You can make any topic scientific and informative. Admire your professionalism and sensitivity so much.
Amen and amen.
If you’re a thin man with bad fashion sense and greasy hair who owns a sex shop and moonlights as a clown, watches women from afar and then gets too close and talks about sex while making too little eye contact but too many facial expressions, repeatedly touches their arm while suggesting you take pictures together while asking about her family in way too much detail and you wanna know how to not seem creepy... Dr Grandes advice... try to avoid a situation like that 😂
made me laugh way more than it should’ve, but the deadpan delivery 👌
I collect clowns. I feel like such a creep now. But they're colourful and make me happy. I *_am_* a creep!
Until recently, clowns were seen as being fun. Pop culture's to blame for that I suspect.
Can I come over and play clowns with you?😜
@@iroamalone6953 Omly if you dress like one.
@@elisamastromarino7123 ok. On my way🤩
Dom Trussardi Please define average?
It’s nice to see you smile Dr Grande. 🙂
"Males are more likely to appear to be creepy"- I'll send this video to my husband...just for a laugh! 🤪
Good one!
haha, same here. I was just talking with my other half that it he would look more creepy on his own on park bench than me.
9:01 “And, the most creepy occupation of all: clown!
9:18 “And, the least creepy of all: meteorologist!”
I found this video highly amusing, and I think it could be helpful to someone who struggles with this issue.
Only partially unfortunately 😢
My question is how to talk about meteorology in a creepy way, especially on television.
"There's a storm brewing in the east here, in accordance with my plans. Everybody should be dripping wet by Friday......"
*stares directly into the camera for several seconds.*
"mmhmmhmm we got some tornadoes touching down in the great plains hmmmmmm, oh yeah that's it, destroy that farm, you've been a bad little supercell haven't you!!!"
I died laughing when you said "Instead talk about meteorology, farming, and economics..." That person just went from creepy to boring. LOL
I once had to milk a cow for 3 days for a family that went on vacation. They had been selling me milk inexpensively and I appreciated it being a single mom to a bunch of kids. The smell of the barnyard lingured in my home for three weeks no matter how much cleaning I did. Farming is a quick exit subject for me. Raising a bunny is even too much after that wild out of character experience.
@@lindamoses3697 why didn't you try a tomato bath
I’m a expert at cow tipping, does that make me a farmer?
"I say, what with the drought we've been having, the price of potatoes is sure to go up." Gonna use this line to pick up girls. Wish me luck.
AH YES thanks for making a vid that'll be great to send to whoever's being creepy to me 😅
Hey baby😜
I ROAM ALONE i bet you're a clown.. lmao
@@cjork4999 I can be if that turns you on 😘
@@iroamalone6953 Your first two comments in this thread are very funny. The last one is creepy. Do you see the difference? If you can, you can get past the creepy factor with women if you want to. (My guess is that you have some -- at least at an intermediate level.). Not judging. Just saying -- I think some women view me as creepy. In FINALLY learning the warning signs of narcissists and psychopaths after too many close encounters, I finally figured out why. I can identify with women in many ways but not when it comes to shopping (ugh) or a focus on looks and material things (with either sex). Regardless, my interest in getting to know a woman because I think we can relate on an emotional level can appear to be too eager. I'm eager because I'd like more female friends. But I'm not a needy stalker -- at least I can let it roll off of me.
@@BeingLifted I really, honestly don't care about what you think. Your opinions can stay inside your head and mouth. And when they do, we both win. See the difference? And who said I have or want to decreasey creep factor with women? I couldn't care less about a relationship. I'm MGTOW dudette😘
09:50 - "So the theory generated from these findings is that individuals who display unusual patterns of nonverbal behaviour, odd emotional responses, or who have highly distinctive physical characteristics are outside of the norm and may be determined as unpredictable, may be assessed as unpredictable by other people, which leads to an increased perception of creepiness. This increased level of creepiness really increases vigilance and it makes somebody kind of work to figure out if somebody should be feared or not. Now interestingly these results did not indicate that people that are assessed as creepy are also assessed as having ill intentions, but rather they're just maybe a worry about the potential of dangerousness."
In my opinion, that's the most important bit. A lot really seems to have to do with prejudices, wrong assumptions, flawed conclusions and ambiguous novelty.
I wholeheartedly agree with clowns being assessed as creepy. I cannot understand why clowns are supposedly helpful in clinical context.
If people seem creepy due to no fault of their own, i.e. autism spectrum, facial paralysis, severe mental illness, side effects of certain medications and other, I find it very helpful to make a conscious effort to get used to these people and/ or these characteristics. In my experience the feeling of creepiness will completely disappear.
I would have been interested in finding out if there is a cultural component. In Europe I expect some people in some areas of life to be eccentric and interestingly weird, challenging my curiousity and my response. - While"creepy" would always encompass "too close for comfort" and "alarming since possibly dangerous". That's just my opinion, though.
Thank you very much!
Not talking about people with visual or physical disabilities or autism spectrum, but for people who are creepy, if you want to appear less creepy, BE less creepy. Face yourself and work on yourself.
... I think you mean "but for people who APPEAR creepy." Like most of us, I have no doubt I've encountered creeps. I've even befriended creeps who hid it well. (Gulp.) And had a good friend who dabbled in clowning while going to mortuary school. But just because someone might seem creepy TO YOU at first doesn't make them a creep. Everyone's creep boundaries vary and, to me, the way your comment is worded is creepy.
I meant exactly what I said. Not everyone who "appears" creepy is necessarily creepy. I was directing my comment, as I said, to people who are creepy. Interesting that you find advice to creeps to face themselves and work on themselves to be creepy. Sorry I triggered you.
😂😂
My dating profile has changed numerous times in specifics about what I'm NOT looking for and still attract the creeps. Well, first, you men ALWAYS seem to bring up sexual innuendos after 30 minutes of conversing. Right there is where I abruptly end the conversation. It's utterly disrespectful and tells me a lot about intent.
Some times men get nervous and say things they wanted to leave alone like sex for example. You have to understand that men think about sex very frequently and usually make an effort to not say it. If you happened to be very pretty or wear something revealing, that makes it harder on us to avoid bringing up the subject of sex. It happens naturally. In any way, when we bring up this subject, many times it isn't done in a suggestive or evocative way but rather as a simply conversation topic. What I mean it isn't always done with an ill intent. Also, if you're enjoying talking to a man and he happened to start talking about sex, you can simply tell him you don't like to talk about this and most men would be fine with changing subject. Many men don't know how women think or what women really want.
They are not there to date.
@@LateNightCigars jeez. Grow up already. Control what you say.
Very good rule of thumb.
@@LateNightCigars Speak for yourself. You remind me of one of those Taliban types who insist that women cover up because otherwise they can't stop themselves from thinking about sex all the time. You'd have to be completely estranged from human society from birth to not know that it's not socially acceptable to go rambling about sex with random strangers. You don't have to read a person's mind to realize that. You just have to mingle with people a little and get a sense when people start excusing themselves from being around you.
Being an introvert, I often feel that people could see me as creepy. Even though I am female and probably appear as average, I don't smile often, have a fascination with macabre and tend to watch people. I find that people are way more interesting to observe, than to communicate with. Even though I don't fit all the categories perfectly; I'd say that I might have a higher than average creep factor.
This list did not include being introverted, which was surprising to me. Maybe I missed it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't included. So, am I wrong or was it possibly missing from the study? Because when you consider it, introverts are more likely to fit a couple of those categories, based on the nature of our personality. I don't know, what does everyone else think?
Side Note- I'm left handed, INFP, maybe it's just a combo if all these factors.👀 I never minded being called "weird" but I don't consider this the same. 😅 I don't mind either way; I find it all very fascinating!
Marie L - If you aren’t already, channel your natural interests and aptitudes into a profession or side gig or something. If you’re good at giving sensible advice, you could do some kind of coaching that doesn’t involve credentials. Or do some other form of consulting. It’s so much fun to be able to use your insights to help others.
I also love observing people, and find it exponentially more interesting than interaction, since people will be themselves if they don’t know they’re being watched. People-watching is way up there as a favorite pastime. I always come away with such interesting and useful insights after just an hour of people-watching. Being at a social gathering where people are guarded and uninvested is boring because there aren’t any juicy takeaways when you only make small talk.
Basically, unless I get to learn something new and be transformed from an experience, it’s just not worth my time & energy. I love being an INTJ, even if the average person doesn’t recognize the power of this archetype.
So your one of those we Ird Nature Freak People...better know as INFP. You find them in the forest naked while the normal people are hunting for bambi and then I say "Hello" but you just smile and run away....Nah that's not weird.
I am same as you (left handed, INFP, etc) except I am a borderline asexual man.
This struck a cord with me as I married someone I found very creepy and could not get away from. He would not take no for an answer and I had a terrible life with him. Listen to your gut people.
Why did you marry someone like that?
Were you peer pressured into marrying them or was it an arranged marriage? Hope ur better now
*chord*
Would you say you felt SUFFOLKATED!why you gotta go and make me feel suffolkated!sorry i had too it was too many dad jokes.
@@rogerknights857....really doing some good for the world there.b
Stay Vigilant!
When I feel creeped out, I sense ulterior motives, sneakiness, skulking, snooping to gather info. I dont like either agressive staring or inability to even glance at me. Refusal to wave or say hi creeps me out too. I get creeped out when I cant tell what someone really thinks or feels or understand their behaviors.
Life is creepy then because you don't know where your life will be 40 years from now.
Thank you for balancing out serious educational information with a good sense of humour!
Sometimes people behave "oddly" because they lack social skills and / or have troubles interpreting other people's reactions. I found PEERS (Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills) from University of California helpful.
Thanks for that!
all jokes aside, just finished watching and damn this was more interesting than i anticipated. really really well made video as always. and good job on that final answer ahahah
Before formal education began producing cookie cutter humans; humans were individuals . They were educated n learned to read to think independently to calculate n to get along n become citizens that contribute to a social whole and people were free to develop as individuals. Today more often than not what were considered individuals with some being eccentric are now viewed as abnormal.
How to appear less creepy -> be less creepy.
There's this guy at my local bar who introduced himself to me then started hanging around my neck, and insisting on giving me his phone number. He is not physically attractive but I am not someone who can't see beyond that.
Since then other bar goers have told me (out of the blue, i was not asking) that they felt bad for the guy because he's a really good guy but can't get a girlfriend. This left me thinking: that is no mystery ..... he hangs around strange women's necks at the bar and pressures them to call him. He could be the most wonderful man in the world but he has forever turned me off by behaving like a creep. This kind of behavior shows a lack of respect for physical boundaries and it shows me that he thinks of me not like a person but like something to fulfill his needs.
I don't think people purposely want to be "creepy" or socially obnoxious but rather lack an education in Inter n tra relational skills; the knowledge n modeling n feedback to acquire these important life skills.
This information is not readily available
Someone needs to make catchy posters to display on bathroom cubicle doors and buses/trains as PSAs.
Your rationale for his alleged creepiness ist bs. In the right circumstances you'd love if a guy would break your physical boundaries (ideally unansked for 'romance'). He appears 'creepy' because he is nice but not sexually attractive.
This was actually pretty interesting and thanks for discussing it. I'll never forget my daughters somehow coming to the conclusion as they were growing up that men with mustaches were creepy..... Anyway I can also recall a time while hiking as some young kids were passing, I smiled and said hi.... the parents were maybe 15 feet behind the group. My wife said "don't speak to young girls, that's creepy...." My thought was, I speak to everyone (just my nature), and their parents were like 15 feet away. That comment for some reason bothered me. Spoke more to the world we live in when a man, can't say hi to a young girl (in a group), for fear of being thought creepy. Wow.. Just wow.....
try looking up womens attraction to DARK TRIAD TRAITS.Then go look at criminal videos and see that women comment a ton.
Your wife is wrong. My mom is the same way. In my moms case it's her way to promote fake shame in men she is speaking to, so that she can gain some control and high moral ground. And that is creepy :)
Yes, that is the world - don't blame the wife or girls. Blame the men that are the danger that makes it necessary to be careful. The mustache thing is commonly associated with creeps too.
Sorry Dr Grande, just stumbled on this video and the title made me laugh. How you maintained your composure while recording is amazing. Lol
I think being too "helpful " can be a sign of creepy. Overstepping the boundary of being useful into insisting that they help with things you don't need he.p with . I have a male friend like this , I'm female . He also has few friends and is very leaning on me a pushy when he needs help . My friends all find him creepy
I edited my profile “I have my mother’s skin..” and omitted the part about wearing that skin whenever guests stay at my motel. Baby steps toward a less creepy future!
'Funeral director', really? I think that's a very honerable profession.
Also interesting how someone who deals with death a lot is creepy, but doctors are non-creepy. So how about a coroner, or a (forensic) pathologist? They are doctors who deal almost exclusively with death. Would that cause a system error on the creep-meter?
Yes, definitely, and I speak from experience.
it is what it is. what do you hope to accomplish by arguing about it? besides get worked up yourself?
Sometimes Dr. Todd seems a little creepy. Not creepy enough not to like him and his work. I love this dude!
Thank You Dr Grande for yet another interesting video.
Question: Have you published articles or books? I would also like to obtain transcripts of some of your videos if is is available. I am seeing a psychiatrist and would like to refer him to some of your discussions, but I think he would rather read than watch your work. :)
Saria
This is helpful. I coincidentally had an older, very tall and thin coworker “watch” me without speaking to me much for several months, telling others he found me attractive. Then he appeared on the elevator in the morning a few times and ventured to say something to me in the softest voice imaginable. Despite my unwillingness to engage with the “creepy behavior”, he showed up on my floor with cupcakes and asked me out to lunch (all I know at this point is his name). He became aware of his creepiness after my refusal and decided to remedy the situation by coming up to my floor and approaching me again (this time in my cubicle) to hand deliver a letter he typed apologizing for making me uncomfortable, and then sharing odd personal details about himself and his discomfort with others. After sending him an email at work outlining my boundaries (wishing for no further contact from him) the behavior thankfully stopped. But for a while I wondered if this was a potentially dangerous person. That’s the “creep” factor... are they dangerous or just awkward and slightly inappropriate?
That's mean, also you should be flattered
No harm in coffee. Maybe he is interesting to talk to. Boundaries is fine... but no need to be rude.
Go by your gut. Also there is no need to go out with people you don't want to go out with, even if for a coffee. It blurs boundaries and makes things more awkward when you inevitably say no.
You handled that well.
@@annenextdoor612 people like you end up as victims because you're too stupid aka quote unquote nice to hone in on others creep vibes, set real boundaries, and say no.
"... and the most creepy occupation of all; Clown" looool
I've had some teachers, both Primary and High School that were DEFINITELY creepy.
Dr. Grande, hitting it out of the park every single question, no exceptions! It's so great that you do answer people's queries in a genuine and serious way without assuming that it's not serious enough to warrant analysis. The concept of creepy is pretty important to me! A lot of men resentfully say that women call men creepy willy-nilly without justification, and that it's used as a baseless reason to shame someone. Which I think is just a very narrow view, because it really is that women HAVE to watch for this kind of sign far, far more. Thank you, Dr. Grande!
Are you aware that men perceive creepy very differently than women? To many men these days, women calling them creepy means women regard them as un-attractive. What a man regards as creepy is someone who really IS dangerous or convincingly presents himself as such.
@@taraswertelecki7874 are you aware that it is your job to present yourself positively to other people just like it is their job to present themselves positively to you if either wants an equally positive reaction? If you don't know how to do that then take the time and effort to learn. Grow up.
Women have to take their safety very seriously. A mistake can cost a woman her life. While a man might fear being embarrassed by a woman's rejection a woman may fear being raped or murdered.
@@careyh827 do you give that same credit to men? In my experience when I try and explain that I have to watch out for certain behaviors in women I get told that’s I’m generalizing.
@@taraswertelecki7874 in my day, "creepy" had nothing to do with not being "good looking." The second of your definitions was a consensus.
Ted Bundy didn't set off creep-o-meters in men OR women... if he had, he'd have been caught sooner.
All ppl make erroneous assumptions about attractive, well-dressed, well-spoken men (and women). They are assumed to be "normal" and "safe". Only the most glaring oddities in behavior may break through that bias.
If an attractive, well-dressed, well-spoken man was perceived by another man as creepy, it could be because they think he's signaling unwanted sexual interest in them.
Or his name is Chad... and for some reason, that's a problem.
Anyway, rarely do either men or women detect truly dangerous individuals who intend to do them harm -- be it stealing your wallet or having you for dinner -- if they meet social standards of attractiveness.
I have trouble with eye contact, but this can be changed with conscious decision. Also, the big one, personal appearance with clothing and grooming (and showering) is under our total control, so much can be corrected.
Not mentioning you're taxidermist until you're deep in a relationship is a great idea. The best way for your partner to find it out is by visiting your home. In general, let me suggest a conjecture: If you're creepy, every attempt to act in a less creepy manner will make you seem more creepy.
Doctor Grande. If you need a subject to talk about, I’d love to know why people are mean and what can I successfully do to not take it personally. I DO act unassuming, humble, smile when I have eye contact with them, have a positive demeanor (I’m fifty + and I sometimes skip), downplay my looks (especially around other women my age that are with husbands). I try and treat people the way I want to be treated and make the world a nicer place for those around me. I’m always disappointed when someone doesn’t smile back, acknowledge me when I’ve let them into traffic, hold the door/elevator for them (I’m trying to think of public situations). Lol - it won’t hurt my feelings if you think I should quit bothering you and go seek professional help... smiling and half kidding here..... and won’t take offense if this doesn’t fit your agenda/program (others may not find this topic helpful and won’t appeal to the masses). I just, very much appreciate what you do! I can’t imagine, with your workload, and how you fit these informative videos into your day (but I’m glad you do)! You’re very giving and I love seeing all the views you get! Cheers Doctor!
Interesting, however; appearance will play a much greater role in whether someone is perceived as “creepy” (ie someone who is considered attractive will rarely be perceived as creepy even when exhibiting behaviour that would be considered creepy in a less attractive person)
My friends used to laugh at me when I said that certain people set off my "creep-o-meter"... Thank you for confirming that it is real!
Hi friend! Me too ❤️
No wonder your skeptical of romance!
Sadly, you look creepy to me.
Glen Close in 101 Dalmatians.
@@adamkane7513she looks kind of creepy in all her movies.
Creepiness can just be boiled down to someone people question or dont understand. Until I actually start talking Im a total creep to people and Im fine with that....im not going to change my dress or interests to seem more normal. People will judge others based on zero information so you just have to deal with it and live your life.
11:20 - 11:55 threw me out of my chair in laughter.
It just. Kept. Going hahaha
The items that are more likely to be perceived as creepy are also, most likely, correlated with the perceived level of physical attractiveness of the individual committing said actions. If the woman you are speaking with finds you physically unattractive you are creepy to her no matter what you do if it is ever even hinted that you are romantically interested in her. Brad Pitt could moonlight as a clown on the side and any woman who finds him attractive wouldn't even blink. Creepiness is inversely proportional sexual attractiveness. Woman's obsession with Ted Bundy is a good example.
Did you even listen to the video?
Extremely thin man = creepy? How did that happen? :-/
*Giggling* Maybe I'm projecting this onto Dr Grande, but I have the impression whenever he had to say "creepy/creepiness" he found it hard not to start laughing. I at least giggled through the whole video, although it still was very informative. So good job done on this one anyway.
I love your deadpan humor, got me cracking up 😂😂
Very good job breaking this down and analyzing it and 11:20 had me rolling!
My personal feeling about creepiness in a person is that they evoke a fear in me that they will attach themselves to me, in a fixation sort of way. They will want to be with me, go anywhere I go, see what I do, talk to people I talk to, almost like they're being my shadow. It's not that they want something from me as if they were a parasite, it's more like they are something stuck on the bottom of my shoe and I can't remove it. There certainly can be the feeling that they are threatening in some way too, but that's actually not necessary for them to still be creepy to me. I think sexually creepy people register most strongly on the creepy detector because if you don't want this person fixating on you, then you REALLY don't want them sexually fixating on you.
This was funny from the start, but you're advice had me howling. Thanks for the light-hearted change in your usually heavy videos.
The nature of creepiness is a perfectly legit question. I know a guy who has poor social skills and can get pretty creepy at times. He never has any ill intent. His creepy behavior comes from being self-conscious and not knowing what to do in some situations. It's like some sort of social paralysis.
I've been told by people that they avoided me at first because I give off a "serial killer vibe" in public, but they warmed up to me quick after they got to know me online. I'm guessing it's my lack of body language and microexpressions, or my verbal affect? Either way, thank you for making this. Maybe I can stop giving people the impression that I'm gonna do something hideous to them. It's be nice to make real life friends. EDIT: It seems kind of unfair to have to modify so many things when other people don't have to, just to be accepted. That being said, if it's the only way to be accepted, It seems opting for the very exhausting small amounts of contact via massive amounts of hyperawareness and control is probably better than avoiding physical interaction altogether. What would you have to say for an autistic who can't make eye contact because it feels physically painful to do so? Surely being expected to do at least that might be a bit much?
My opinion on this has changed in the couple past years. I used to think like you describe here, struggling with similar things and anxiety myself. But as I was studying psychology more deeply, I found out that it might not be so easy for neurotypical people to just "accept" people who behave oddly. Recognizing facial expressions is something that many do unconsciously, because it has been actively coded into their brain since birth, or even before that due to inherited genetical traits.
Someone who gets a creepy feeling from a person, who's words are in conflict with their expression, might not even know why they feel creeped out, but they process their environment in their subconscious constantly. It's not a game that neurotypical people like to play, it's something they can't help but to play.
I understand that this might not be a very comforting view, but I think it's less gloomy to think that there are two kinds of people who don't speak each other's languages, than that atypical people are just inferior and need to try to play the part of an NT to be accepted. Just like we can try to learn to communicate better, neurotypical people can learn to understand us better, if they first understand why we act differently. Not everyone wants to do that, but those people aren't worth your friendship anyways :)
@@fiikahlo oh hey, i'm so sorry if i gave off the impression it seems i have! I didn't mean to imply at all that NTs are inferior, so I must have explained myself very poorly. I think more that NT people run windows, and neurodiverse people run linux. And right now, just like with linux and windows, it's usually linux-users that write the custom dlls to make the platforms compatible. I think we both need one-another and we do better together than we ever could apart.
I also don't blame people for finding me creepy because that same reaction probably saved their lives quite a few times. I'm not dangerous, but there are probably plenty of people out there who have my traits that ARE, and i'm not going to begrudge anyone their safety for that reason alone.
I meant it more as an actual observation, because it does feel exhausting, and I was hoping the observation would prompt some discussion about how to mitigate how exhausting it can be. The issue is, I didnt' communicate that clearly, that was my bad. Thank you for pointing things out and for explaining. You helped me see where I went wrong and also probably helped other people going through similar issues as well!
Didn't I see you on America's most wanted?
I've had the same comment off a customer at my work place called me a phsychopath and that I give off a serial killer vibe👤
I laughed so hard while watching this that my stomach hurt.
I feel really bad for all those guys that are socially challenged struggling with this.
It could also add to the creepiness when they try to blatantly compensate for it, which I think many people could also pick up on.
I would trust someone more that simply spoke their mind and didn't try to manipulate what I thought about them vs someone that is trying to sell themselves to me.
With respect with clothes, I ask all women I interact with if they’d be willing to take their clothes off and so I can stare at them and make balloon animals. 🤔
I think that works because you basically talk about fashion when you mention clothes.
Dude. Quit copying me
I watched because my older teens use “creepy” to describe a nerdy friend of mine that I don’t think is creepy at all. He’s an engineer so he does a lot of observation and the kids say he stares a lot. Just socially awkward in my book.
please be careful dismissing your child's fears. they could be picking up different vibes from him because he acts different around them. one of my mother's friends made me quite uncomfortable and he actually turned out to be a pedo. even ended up in jail from the stuff on his computer. i'm not saying your friend is like that, but please keep an open mind
mia1444732 Yes, I totally agree. I grew up unprotected in a family of pedos. My now older kids were over sheltered because of my own experiences. But my pedo radar is 80%sharp (don’t ask how I measure that, maybe my age and life experience with fostering troubled youth) I did have a discussion with them about it and glad that we can have open conversations about it. Having an open door to discuss, even in the middle of the night, is vital, I agree. Thanks for pointing that out.
Dr. Grande, I wanted to share with you that I really enjoy your work. You are a great help for so many people, especially with the difficulty in accessing mental health care so many experience. I'm a female with high-functioning ASD, and am an INFJ- I always worry about coming across as creepy. Thanks to this video, I've learned specifically the areas to improve and I am very grateful.
I really do not understand how he got through this video without laughing lol hysterical.
lol right off the bat thats my kind of video title
I grew up in the country on a farm with all older boys. I guess it made me ‘odd’ because a lot of women appear to find me creepy or something. 😫
If you don’t fit the typical societal mold, you’ll likely be seen as creepy, I guess.
In a city setting, you'll stand out because of your country background. There's levels to this creep thing😄
Answer: Watch loads of footage of Joe Biden and don't be like him.
I'll just be like The Don.
I'M FYAHD!!!!
@Jonathan Froger
I am firing myself.
One crucial part of being creepy that was missing (in my opinion), was the sense of entitlement to disregard for personal boundaries. Lack of social skills and awareness combined with a disregard for boundaries, especially personal space (which includes staring) is very unnerving.
Being a skinny a guy who owns a funeral home, and talks about meteorology might come off as a little weird. Now add the personal boundary part...you get a skinny guy who owns a funeral home, likes to talk about meteorology, but also wants to touch your arm and stand really close while talking to you, and even when you back away, he closes the gap...that's creepy.
I thought meteorology was one of the safe topics like economics. How does meteorology become creepy?
What a "Sweetheart" good sport. ,,, Wonderful sense of humor that "Creeps" into your presentation. You also have understated personality aspects that can really grow on a person!
I need to show the “how to appear less needy” video to my cat
I’m diagnosed with Asperger’s and I am absolutely convinced I only come off “less creepy” than my male friends is due to my gender and appearance. Great video, it will help me cover this topic in my book
This is officially one of my new favorite channels. When I worked with individuals with development and psychological obstacles this was one of the things we had to discuss and teach our male clients in particular. I laughed pretty damn hard as well at that creepy situation you created.😜 Keep up the good work!😊
I really try to avoid thin men who appear unkempt, have poor fashion sense, own a sex-shop whilst pursuing professional clown-hood, display flat affect, and ask me sexually provocative questions about my personal predilections. LOL!!!!! However, if I was within view of such individual, it is inevitable that this awkward interaction would occur. That says something about me (I am really not creepy); nevertheless, creepiness may represent difficulties with social cognition a priori rejection/punishment...I don't know whether to approach or avoid saying more...
What's wrong with displaying a flat affect?
I heard a women coment once she thought creepy was this guy who approched her from behind her and touched her
Yup, inappropriate touching is definitely creepy. Especially from behind. No touchy.
also, the ending had me laughing 😂. i wonder how many people will change their dating profiles after watching this haha
On the subject of creepy. I once met Jim Jones (the preacher) at a church auditorium in N.Y. (about 1968). My roommate at the time insisted that I'd like him and got me to tag along with her. She introduced me to him and he glommed on to me as though I was the only person in the room, except that he was shouting in a loud, professional announcer-type of voice and stood very close. I found that extremely creepy whilst my roommate thought that he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. As soon as he moved on to other people, I made a beeline for the exit. One persons creepy is another persons charismatic, I guess.
Too much smiling, and too much frowning adds to creepiness for me.
Honestly between laughing myself to pee point every time he says ''creepiness'' and being like wtf is this video about me or my ex?
haha love it when he says that
supperficial charm
( i know i'm a one trick pony)
probably not superficial, rather a charm that has a creepy vibe and feel to it but can not be described
@@hacker010010101 start with the opening line "do you like scary movies?"
ps extra points if you wisper it in here ear
8:30 - double standard alert!!! i cant recall a single conversation ive had with a girl without HER steering the convo toward sex.
"attention makes me feel uncomfortable, i project my discomfort by infering OTHERS are creepy"
i should say im just relating the girls i knew in real life
online conversations are a entirely different.
and maybe steering the conversation towards sex might mean making sexual inuendos out of mundane /ordinary topics?
"having greasy hair" 😁. I don't know why but that one cracks me up.
haha, ok I will wear a hat
Gah! Pity the poor Asperger's sufferer with bad fashion sense who likes to take pictures. 😖
You have successfully creeped me out! I also laughed all the way through this video. I feel some mistake awkwardness for creepy. I personally find a few things super creepy ....staring, violating personal space, following, wearing a mustache without a beard (and also wearing a beard without a mustache), men wearing too much jewelry, dirty old shoes, bad BO, men with long fingernails, men in long coats, women with too many cats. I try not to judge, but I still am creeped out.
You hit it on the nail!
Tattoos..The more tattoos,the creepier either sex seem to me.Nose piercing,even creepier still.Deshabille,unkempt appearance,mismatched clothes. Trying to start a conversation with a stranger as if they are an old friend..Yeah,creepy.
People who are too close to their pets and treat them as if they were their own children "shudders"
Ugh I don't judge based on looks, but the first approach they had. I run away when a guy tries to make friends instantly when I don't know him, and have this smirk on their face and too much eye contact.
It's funny because I like thin guys, dark hair and pale haha I don't mind when guys are shy or awkward at times, as long as the guy can keep a conversation with me and it's comfortable, I'm more than ok.
I can’t stop laughing 😂
I love your communication style. Hilarious and brilliant. Yep...have met lots of creeps...especially online dating lol. Usually I just get weird vibes like something is 'off'.
To be honest there is no sure shot way to get rid of creepiness . I respect girls and their personal boundaries . I have lot of female friends . Yet I creeped out a few girls .