Being a black gay asexual, I often feel isolated within the black community and the gay community. The Ace community has truly been a safe space for me.
one of my best friends is a gayromantic asexual from Norway though I can relate to you about being a black asexual. I am a genderqueer but I think being "black asexual" period you tend to run into many on the outside who often sexualize your very existence unfortunately x-x
For me it goes like: "That guy was flirting with you!" "What??" Or sometimes even: "Wow, you were so flirting with that guy!" "What? No I wasn't... was I?"
Onr of my favourite things about being ace which I find quite amusing is hearing about allo problems and thinking; "Haha, silly allos. I don't have to worry about that!"
The best experience I've had since coming out as Ace is knowing that my best friend who has been sexually harassed by multiple people and assaulted by her abusive ex feels 100% comfortable around me. She knows for a fact that I do not and can not view her the way that those who have abused her do and because of this she doesn't have to second guess everything she says and does around me to ensure she's not 'giving me the wrong idea' like she does with so many other people due to her experiences. I'm glad I can be her comfort person, that she feels like she can be open and honest with me without worrying. It's weird to think that if I wasn't Ace my relationship with my best friend would not be as strong as it is at best and nonexistent at worst.
Where do I begin? First of all, no pregnancy scares, no STDs, I can like and date people without being overly obsessed with physical appearance (because no sexual attraction means things that are "hot" to others are just like.. there.. to me and it doesn't matter) I love the more fluffy sides of relationships like cuddles, holding hands, going on cute dates, cooking together, movie nights, etc.. but in the community, I love the amount of acceptance we give each other and we can all just be open and talk to each other easily. And I also love hearing about how confusing allos are, like... Hearing other aces be like "I just found out that allos do this thing" and we all are confused together as well as hearing realization stories. The flag is also very pretty as well. Over all I'd give the ace community a 10/10
I was wanting for someone to mention no pregnancy scares ! It's a such a relief when I didn't have my period for quite sometime and I'm like : "whatever it's not like I had sex or anything !" x) So thank for mentionning it !
Not worry about get pregnant by accident is one of my favorites and funniest things of being ace. I can told my mom: "I should get the period a week ago" all relaxed. Or when I talk to my allo friends I am the one who is more informed about sex related stuff and they look at my so impressed. And the black ring!
Making fun of my best friend cause they are constantly horny is my favorite thing about being ace. (We are very supportive of each other, but it wouldn’t be a REALLY friendship if I didn’t call them out on it once in a while)
I like being able to surprise everyone with cursed and sexual humor even after they know I'm ace. I may be innocent and pure when it comes to sex, not very knowledgeable, getting confused and shook from friends talking about it, but damn it's hilarious when I get flirty with them or successfully land an UwU daddy~ joke. Somehow it's just so fitting coming from me and still shocking because they know very well that I'm sex averse
What I like is that I’m not addicted or to worried about sex, I feel like some people just make sex their whole personality a little bit sometimes and I find that a little cringe to be very very honest, and I like how I don’t need to worry about the sexual stuff in it cause then it wouldn’t be to addicting for me, so yeah that’s my opinion on being an ace/lesbian :)
I relate to the puberty thing so much!! I'm 16 and I feel basically in the same mindset as when I was 10-11! Just with a bit more knowledge about myself and the world...
I'm at the same comfort level with physical stuff as I was when I was younger, and I have a similar mindset I think, just with intrusive thoughts XD (I think I'm heteroromantic hetero/demisexual but I could be wrong, I still need to figure out if I actually have experienced sexual attraction or not smh)
@@sveajohnson3779 oml same, I've been struggling these days because I'm a growing teen and I feel like the physical changes aren't lining up with my thoughts and stuff. Not to be a burden, but any tips? I kinda just wanna be over with this whole questioning thing since it's been kinda mentally draining oof...
@@cafers6607 I know questioning is super hard, I was wrong 3.5 times (long story) before I got it right. I know it sounds insanely cliché and not useful but: 1) remember that everyone develops in their own time regardless of their sexuality. Genes, hormones, puberty are all super messy and you probably won't feel normal for a long while anyway. 2a) It's totally okay and normal if you never get *those thoughts,* you don't need them to be happy or healthy. 2b) It's totally okay and normal if you do eventually get *those thoughts,* the time you've spent as part of our community (questioning ace is still aspec) is still valid. 3) It might be helpful not to look for labels first. Hear me out, labels help me a lot personally and I'm very specific about mine BUT it was insanely helpful for me, as I was figuring myself out, to describe how I felt about sex and look for the corresponding label that fit rather than force myself to fit a label that wasn't right for me. So, if you want to get over the questioning stage quickly, I recommend just sitting down and going through a bunch of definitions until you find one that feels right. There are so so many aspec/arospec identities it's unlikely that you won't find one that's right for you. If you don't, though, that's totally okay. (asexual-society.tumblr.com/post/169734535674/list-of-a-spec-identities-info I think this is the page I used when I was questioning. I'm not even sure if that's every identity) Regardless of what you discover you are, whether you're a part of our community permanently or just for a while, you are welcome, you are valid, and you are so loved
I think my personal favorite thing about being ace is the community. There's such solidarity and inclusion that I never felt with any other label or community that I was a part of while I was questioning. (also garlic bread and dragons)
I relate to akari's tweet at 7:23 lol. I often feel like I'm a scientist perceiving behaviors of another species: often confusing, sometimes disturbing, and always fascinating! I feel like "a behavioral guide to your species" for my friends and family. Which is sometimes fun and sometimes not so fun. Also, Ace problems at 9:20 yea! I feel like I can relieve the people's lives emotionally and even practically. And I don't have to priorize "partner over friends, children over partner etc". I just live in the moment and help whoever seems to need it :)
It’s wonderful when you’re surrounded by people who are so obsessed with being in a relationship and really need that in their lives, and you know that you don’t have a need for such things. It means that I don’t have to experience that kind of loneliness and dependence.
Ok way late but I love my independence and living alone. Less to worry about concerning other people. Since I'm not in a relationship with anyone I can make my own life decisions without having to compromise or ask for approval from another person to act on something. Not to be selfish, I just like doing my own thing. Opinions on stuff is welcome and I do ask family or friends for that. But I still get to keep the final decision which I love. Not having another person to worry about too just makes things feel less complicated to me.
I can relate at 7:15. I always was on the outside of my freshman college roommate's relationship, but they kept dragging me along for advice like I was a couple's counselor or something. I did try to help as best I could, but I like "I can't help too much because I only know as much as you do about this." It was like watching a movie unfold between them and their interactions.
Thank you for this wonderful video! Oh, and (someone correct me if I'm wrong) but did the Arabic say something like Laykhiru yalikh? idk, thanks again! - From your friendly neighborhood aroace
@@SliceOfAce I don't know.. But there is people who are ace that are interested in sexual things.. And I want to why.. I don't know, I just can't figure out why that happens. I'm all for it, but I just want to know why. :0]
I could do a video on it if you like? As far as a "short" answer, there are loads of reasons why an ace may want to do sexual things. First, you have to define what counts as sexual. Some people see making out as sexual, whereas others don't, for example. Then, you have to get to why they're having sex. Is it to please a partner? Is it to have a child? Or is it because they're attracted and simply want to? The latter is the only case which determines asexuality since asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. Does that clear anything up? It'd of course be better to ask someone who identifies as ace and are interested in sex, which isn't me XD
Being a black gay asexual, I often feel isolated within the black community and the gay community. The Ace community has truly been a safe space for me.
one of my best friends is a gayromantic asexual from Norway though I can relate to you about being a black asexual. I am a genderqueer but I think being "black asexual" period you tend to run into many on the outside who often sexualize your very existence unfortunately x-x
@OtakuGunsoNY the rest of your comment looks good but it’s called “homoromantic” not “gayromantic” (not trying to be rude just making sure you know)
We're here for you :D
my fav thing is when people try to flirt with me at school and im just like "no"
For me it goes like:
"That guy was flirting with you!"
"What??"
Or sometimes even:
"Wow, you were so flirting with that guy!"
"What? No I wasn't... was I?"
@@Lumors yea that happens to me to sometimes
@@Lumors me to. I don't realise, when somebody is flirting with me or I with them
Onr of my favourite things about being ace which I find quite amusing is hearing about allo problems and thinking; "Haha, silly allos. I don't have to worry about that!"
I don't have to worry about thirst traps either xD That's my favorite thing :P
calling people silly isnt any better-
@@lapepa1699 I think they are joking
It's definitely nice that there's less pressure when you realise your asexuality ♠️💜
That is so true xD Gotta love that apathy sometimes
I feel the same! Especially as a teen when there’s *so* much pressure to date & get in relationships
The best experience I've had since coming out as Ace is knowing that my best friend who has been sexually harassed by multiple people and assaulted by her abusive ex feels 100% comfortable around me. She knows for a fact that I do not and can not view her the way that those who have abused her do and because of this she doesn't have to second guess everything she says and does around me to ensure she's not 'giving me the wrong idea' like she does with so many other people due to her experiences. I'm glad I can be her comfort person, that she feels like she can be open and honest with me without worrying. It's weird to think that if I wasn't Ace my relationship with my best friend would not be as strong as it is at best and nonexistent at worst.
That's awsome, I am glad you're able to be very supportive to your friend in her time of need (:
I’m so glad she has someone she knows she’s able to turn to and be comfortable around. :)
Where do I begin?
First of all, no pregnancy scares, no STDs, I can like and date people without being overly obsessed with physical appearance (because no sexual attraction means things that are "hot" to others are just like.. there.. to me and it doesn't matter) I love the more fluffy sides of relationships like cuddles, holding hands, going on cute dates, cooking together, movie nights, etc.. but in the community, I love the amount of acceptance we give each other and we can all just be open and talk to each other easily. And I also love hearing about how confusing allos are, like... Hearing other aces be like "I just found out that allos do this thing" and we all are confused together as well as hearing realization stories. The flag is also very pretty as well. Over all I'd give the ace community a 10/10
I was wanting for someone to mention no pregnancy scares ! It's a such a relief when I didn't have my period for quite sometime and I'm like : "whatever it's not like I had sex or anything !" x) So thank for mentionning it !
allosexuals do care about the cute part of the relationship. They are all not worried about physical appearence either. It just depends on the person.
Those are all of my points as well!
Not worry about get pregnant by accident is one of my favorites and funniest things of being ace. I can told my mom: "I should get the period a week ago" all relaxed. Or when I talk to my allo friends I am the one who is more informed about sex related stuff and they look at my so impressed. And the black ring!
the best thing about being aroace is not having to worry about romantic relationships at all.
The best thing about being aro-ace is that a slice of pizza wont tell me whether or not my stomach is getting big or that I’m hogging the bed
Making fun of my best friend cause they are constantly horny is my favorite thing about being ace. (We are very supportive of each other, but it wouldn’t be a REALLY friendship if I didn’t call them out on it once in a while)
I'm sure I get meaner the more I like someone... which is probably why I have few friends 😅
I like being able to surprise everyone with cursed and sexual humor even after they know I'm ace. I may be innocent and pure when it comes to sex, not very knowledgeable, getting confused and shook from friends talking about it, but damn it's hilarious when I get flirty with them or successfully land an UwU daddy~ joke. Somehow it's just so fitting coming from me and still shocking because they know very well that I'm sex averse
What I like is that I’m not addicted or to worried about sex, I feel like some people just make sex their whole personality a little bit sometimes and I find that a little cringe to be very very honest, and I like how I don’t need to worry about the sexual stuff in it cause then it wouldn’t be to addicting for me, so yeah that’s my opinion on being an ace/lesbian :)
I relate to the puberty thing so much!! I'm 16 and I feel basically in the same mindset as when I was 10-11! Just with a bit more knowledge about myself and the world...
Honestly yeah. I just feel like just a more mature person who knows more but with the same mindset as when I was younger.
I'm at the same comfort level with physical stuff as I was when I was younger, and I have a similar mindset I think, just with intrusive thoughts XD (I think I'm heteroromantic hetero/demisexual but I could be wrong, I still need to figure out if I actually have experienced sexual attraction or not smh)
@@sveajohnson3779 oml same, I've been struggling these days because I'm a growing teen and I feel like the physical changes aren't lining up with my thoughts and stuff. Not to be a burden, but any tips? I kinda just wanna be over with this whole questioning thing since it's been kinda mentally draining oof...
@@cafers6607 I know questioning is super hard, I was wrong 3.5 times (long story) before I got it right.
I know it sounds insanely cliché and not useful but:
1) remember that everyone develops in their own time regardless of their sexuality. Genes, hormones, puberty are all super messy and you probably won't feel normal for a long while anyway.
2a) It's totally okay and normal if you never get *those thoughts,* you don't need them to be happy or healthy.
2b) It's totally okay and normal if you do eventually get *those thoughts,* the time you've spent as part of our community (questioning ace is still aspec) is still valid.
3) It might be helpful not to look for labels first. Hear me out, labels help me a lot personally and I'm very specific about mine BUT it was insanely helpful for me, as I was figuring myself out, to describe how I felt about sex and look for the corresponding label that fit rather than force myself to fit a label that wasn't right for me. So, if you want to get over the questioning stage quickly, I recommend just sitting down and going through a bunch of definitions until you find one that feels right. There are so so many aspec/arospec identities it's unlikely that you won't find one that's right for you. If you don't, though, that's totally okay. (asexual-society.tumblr.com/post/169734535674/list-of-a-spec-identities-info I think this is the page I used when I was questioning. I'm not even sure if that's every identity)
Regardless of what you discover you are, whether you're a part of our community permanently or just for a while, you are welcome, you are valid, and you are so loved
This is definitely me right now
I can’t wait till I come out as aro ace and I can hang out with all genders without making others think I like them
I think my personal favorite thing about being ace is the community. There's such solidarity and inclusion that I never felt with any other label or community that I was a part of while I was questioning. (also garlic bread and dragons)
I relate to akari's tweet at 7:23 lol. I often feel like I'm a scientist perceiving behaviors of another species: often confusing, sometimes disturbing, and always fascinating! I feel like "a behavioral guide to your species" for my friends and family. Which is sometimes fun and sometimes not so fun.
Also, Ace problems at 9:20 yea! I feel like I can relieve the people's lives emotionally and even practically. And I don't have to priorize "partner over friends, children over partner etc". I just live in the moment and help whoever seems to need it :)
This supports the feeling one isn't alone being ace or/and aro. :)
Aroace pro: I can get like 5 pounds of chocolate for $5 on February 15th
It’s wonderful when you’re surrounded by people who are so obsessed with being in a relationship and really need that in their lives, and you know that you don’t have a need for such things. It means that I don’t have to experience that kind of loneliness and dependence.
Ok way late but I love my independence and living alone. Less to worry about concerning other people. Since I'm not in a relationship with anyone I can make my own life decisions without having to compromise or ask for approval from another person to act on something. Not to be selfish, I just like doing my own thing. Opinions on stuff is welcome and I do ask family or friends for that. But I still get to keep the final decision which I love. Not having another person to worry about too just makes things feel less complicated to me.
I can relate at 7:15. I always was on the outside of my freshman college roommate's relationship, but they kept dragging me along for advice like I was a couple's counselor or something. I did try to help as best I could, but I like "I can't help too much because I only know as much as you do about this." It was like watching a movie unfold between them and their interactions.
I can definitely relate to a lot of these tweets, really liked this video and enjoyed hearing all the responses! Thanks for including my tweet!
No problem, thanks for contributing :)
Thanks for your videos.
You helped me understand myself better! 🥺♠️✨
I really just love the support. It's nice to feel accepted by someone
Thank you for this wonderful video! Oh, and (someone correct me if I'm wrong) but did the Arabic say something like Laykhiru yalikh? idk, thanks again! - From your friendly neighborhood aroace
I think I'll have to start a Twitter just to follow you
I'll try to remember to mention future Twitter questions on RUclips as well :)
What an interesting channel! I may not see it again.. But what an interesting channel this is. :0>
Thank you 😊 What would make you want to watch my channel?
@@SliceOfAce I don't know.. But there is people who are ace that are interested in sexual things.. And I want to why.. I don't know, I just can't figure out why that happens. I'm all for it, but I just want to know why. :0]
I could do a video on it if you like?
As far as a "short" answer, there are loads of reasons why an ace may want to do sexual things. First, you have to define what counts as sexual. Some people see making out as sexual, whereas others don't, for example. Then, you have to get to why they're having sex. Is it to please a partner? Is it to have a child? Or is it because they're attracted and simply want to? The latter is the only case which determines asexuality since asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. Does that clear anything up? It'd of course be better to ask someone who identifies as ace and are interested in sex, which isn't me XD
@@SliceOfAce Okay! Can't wait. :0>
ace furries, assemble !
UwU 💛
This guy in this video looks really British. Like he should have a British accent.
I am British, and I do have a British accent! 🤣
It can just sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to date even though I haven't even figured out yet if I want to. It's frustrating
FIRST DISLIKE ESSA