If You Want To Know How HE FEELS About You WATCH THIS! | Stephan Speaks
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- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2024
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A man will only put in work for a woman he really wants...Listen to this relationship and dating advice for women video "How He Treats You Is How He Feels About You" and get your copy of the book "He's Lying Sis" today!
As a certified life coach, dating coach, and relationship expert, I want to make dating and relationships easier for you. I pray you find this dating advice and relationship advice for women video helpful, and that you will receive the man who is truly best for you.
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He doesn't notice! Anything
Yes
I can tell he Likes me😊
What about a marriage35 yrs later
@@keica6062 so trur
“You’re not asking for to much, you’re just asking the wrong person for it”
Rachel Day word
Yes . That spoke out to me too
I felt that
Agreed
Dam
If he loves you with his soul he will be consistent with his efforts.
But if he loves you with his eyes, no woman in the world would satisfy him
Marthus St Rose 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯YESSSSSSS
Bruh, that's a word right there
So true...nicely said
I love this so much 😍😌
💯...some men only concerned with and thinking getting physical and sexual needs met. Until they change their way of thinking and reach out to God, one woman will never be good enough for them. They will always start to get bored and feel like they are losing their freedom when beginning to get serious with someone.
He consistently treats me with inconsistency. I'm so done.
Same here sis
feel that
Righttt... He ONLY does good for some long
Please do what's best for you/ even if painful
Me 2!!!! And im done
What they don't tell you when they say "someone will come along and love you the way you deserve to be loved" is that you have to teach people how to love you. No one arrives with a handbook ready to be everything you need. But "the one" is the person willing to learn every time.
This relationship thing is so overwhelming, ghosshh these days I rather be alone wee.😌
I agree with you.
Period 💯 like wise I agree
If we are the best version of ourselves. If our self-respect is 100% there that means we're not going to let men get away with things. That means not sleeping with these men before we get to know them setting standards. Once we start breaking the rules that's where dating becomes complicated. other than that it can be simple you make someone work for you they will show you but once you start sleeping with someone having kids out of wedlock pursuing someone that really doesn't want you then it gets complicated.
@@africacarey That part 💯💯
It seems easiest
A lot of men have wanted me, but most of them didn't value me. I'd much rather be valued.
notebookluvr and cherished sis yes!!!
Amen valued and respected as well
If he values you, he will cherish and respect you. 💝 Many men (women too, took me a long time to understand mine and im still learning) do not understand the meaning of value.
Awesome insights
This is so true a lot of men have No idea of what it means to value a woman. I dated an older gentleman thinking he knew how to treat, respect and value me but oh so could not have been more wrong. He felt like because we went out to eat and spent hours talking on the phone and enjoyed each other's company that was enough for him to get into my pants. He's one of those men that says " let's just see where this goes" and after three months of dating he still couldn't tell me if he wanted to be committed. He just wanted friends with benefits even though he would never own up to that. So I wrote him a note telling hom what I wanted out of the relationship because he is really dismissive in person when it comes to serious talk and ladies you know what he said to me? I took him out to breakfast and he said" I can't even get the coochie but you want to write me serious letters, I an it trying to hear none of that if I can't get what I want". Hmm I left his ass sitting right there and walked out!! Boy bye!!
Shouldnt have to ask a man for niceness kindness decency and respect.
I know, this is just basics.
Standard stuff..
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
Well said 👏🏽
And it's also up to us women to give him something to respect. Works both ways
Just went on a date with a dude who insulted me ( told me that i aborted my babies) he tried to pass it as a joke. He later apologized but i am still shocked a man trying to seduce me would create a lie about me for jokes. We were just having a conversation. The same day i saw a notification from a girl calling him « baby » he told me he doesn’t know her like that. He confessed he bought condoms the first day we went out... he doesn’t even know my name. I sent him a message telling him if he can’t behave there’s no need to contact me anymore. He’s now trying to act nice but im done. There are just too many red flags with the dude.
A person can’t give what they don’t have within themselves...Consistency, transparency, integrity & authenticity!
This is a word
Say it!!
Love this! True!!!
Yes!! Some. People have not seen loving, giving and mature relationships. They mimic why they see. Relationships takes work and sacrifice.
So true. Watch his actions.
If he's a lazy investor into the relationship it's time to walk.
Lazy investors kill the vibe on the spot!😭💀
That's not always true because actions can be misjudged. He could be showing actions of love to you but maybe it's not the type of love u think so u need words and actions. I was with someone who showed me he loves me but then says otherwise
A man I just met a few months ago has actually done more for me than the man I spent 8 years with...
Yeeeees
happy for u
Amazing
@@evka24 Thank you so much!!!
Now this give me hope!! I’m happy for you 👑
Know yourself know your worth. If he’s not willing to meet your needs don’t give him what he wants
PREACH!
Bullshit. If you start setting standards for your man constantly. He’s gonna despise you. Men lead. Don’t make em a children
Daniel Albrecht so put my own happiness on hold for a man who isn’t willing to meet my needs? I’ll pass
make sure your needs and expectations are realistic.
You’re right. The real problem is that MOST women don’t know their worth. I agree with you!
My confirmation tonight: If you're pouring love into that man, and he doesn't reciprocate, he is not the man who needs to be in your life!!!
Amen, Stephan...😢🙏🏽
A man is giving me his all and I love it and him but I dont know how to give him my all as well, any tips
Wow
You have to teach a man how to treat you, evidently Im not a good teacher
You can tell him what you require. And his attitude is this is what I will or will not do, what you want may not make a difference to him
Ditto
I normally agree with him but not fully this. It’s 2020 and we’re still talking about this? Listen, A man sure knows how to treat a women to get her into bed!........ so all the sudden he doesn’t know how to treat a woman after that? Yall. Stop giving these men passes. A man knows how to treat a women. He just wants to see if you know how he’s suppose to treat you. And he’ll get away with whatever you allow him to get away with. Men aren’t stupid. They are fully aware and you need to keep them accountable.
I'm so glad I found you and God made. Me find you the right Time I am a single woman and mother born again. I've been raped abused from the age of 8 years old by my mother's frien. I have two wonderful dad a DNA dad and astro dad my mother accuse me of being with. My Stef dad and having a child for him I wanted theDna to prove it but step dad refuse it, my so called mother has not spoken to me for nearly 40 years she has also taken my two daughters with venom they don't get on with me but because God has taken me so far I forgive them but I have serious trust issues. I have ordered you books and I'm looking forward to reading them I met someone on line April the 26 but he is very poor I started to help him after 2 months I proposed to him he said yes every time I'm speaki g to him and his mother or father interrupts our conversation he's not able to say mum or dad I'm speaki g to Marie and puts me on back bench I believe I'm wasting my tim with him he is not a Christian so I trust him very little what should I do
🙌🏼🙏🏾
A woman must know what she wants from a man.
FACTSSSS 💯💯💯‼‼Hold men accountable ladies!!
It make a lot of since what you just said.
I love that you encourage your audience to pray about it.
Don’t Judge a man intention based on how he treats you short term, judge long term and consistency. Those 2 factors will save you some heartache!!
I believe that you be true. If he wants you he will let it be known. He won't give you mixed signals or not contact you for days on end. It's all about consistency.
Absolutely.
Not totally true I believe.
wrong, if the girl is playing games the dude can give mixed signals or go no contact for days and days because he's confused
Men play games with Women there not interested in...if they want you. You know it!
@Nick Mcnaught Hello Nick. Nice to meet you!
These are the type of black Men I want to be around for real who has something to say this was dead on I watch it 3 times
Watching strong black men who are in their power and truth is like watching an angel on earth speak.
That's what QUALITY Men do . They'll teach you something.
Jigsawg4l You are a smart man !
Excellent
#FACTS!
Never make excuses for someone’s bad behavior towards you. You’re only giving them an out. 💕
YES.... I LEARNED THAT FROM MY MOTHER INLAW. WELL NOW SHE'S JUST MOM. NO LONGER A INLAW.😄
Yes I agree that a man would put in work for the woman he's interested in.
I told my ex bf very early on that I wanted to be happily married as a future goal for my life and to please not waste my time if his life goals didn't align with mine. Long story short, he told me what I wanted to hear and strung me along for almost 3 years in a dead end. I finally left, but I can't get those 3 years back. Lesson learned, though. So, in the future, I will keep my cards close to my chest until the guy shows his first, and also not put all my eggs into one basket/guy until that one of several prospects steps up and proves his seriousness by consistent actions. Period. Or just stay contentedly single and wait for God to choose the right one for me and get us together if and when He deems it right. I feel worn out by these treacherous waters of dating.
Narcs are good at pretending.
Were those 3 years good?
@@SuperChambala Hi. There were some good but fleeting periods of ecstasy. But I never felt secure or safe in his love.
If he really loves you, he treats you like a princess! If you are just an option until he found someone better, he doesn’t care! That’s the truth!!!!!🤟
He's not your dad. But can you treat your man like a prince? Coz some women just wanna live in Utopia.
then he abandons himself too. Because if he is full of shallowness he will give shallowness to the other person as well.
she will give him back the shallownes as well..... because he knows nothing but shllowness.
if a man appreciates old people, helps old lady get through a street, he probably isnt shallow.
The man that I'm with now he treats me like a queen and he takes good care of me. He spends all his time with me we do everything together he truly respects me
How long you know him and how long you are in a relationship with him ?! 😀✌
Girl I need some tips. How do u not make a relationship awkward when u start dating someone
Man that’s blessing that’s hard to find girl lol tried to get my ex to to do what i want and how to treat me . Told him multiple times he never thought i leave and i did and now he’s begging for me back . But idc gave him multiple chances i deserve better and will receive better .
That is a sign that he loves himself. I pray that treatment continues.
Still be careful, my ex husband did that but I found that he cheated on me.
The way he treats you is actually the way he feels about himself. People need to stop and realize that the way you treat others is about yourself. You aren’t happy that your choice. If I treat myself as a queen. I know I am a queen.
Yes so true..I finally believe people tell you who they are we just choose not to listen 👂
You are, without a doubt, the best dating coach I’ve come across. Simple, healthy, mature and wise advice for both women and men. I applaud you for doing the job that you do. It cannot be easy. Respect and love from Sweden
I listen with my eyes actions tell it all.
This is so true! Consistency is the key... So many men I've dealt with aren't consistent... One minute he's all in, then he's not... I be soooo 😕confused
Lord send me my King🙏
I have moved on... Waitn on God to send me my 👑😌🙏
Amen to that.. I have the same issue. Now I am taking a step back from him.
Ladies, you have to recognize that in order for a man to be truly ready for his beloved and a lifetime. He has to have obtained all the necessary resources to sustain a marriage with his wife and to sustain a family with his children with his wife, see when he barely has enough resources to sustain himself he makes it difficult for his wife and children especially if he goes out searching knowing he doesn't have it all to give. Men are givers, as a matter of fact they are naturally in-grained that way. And when a small portion of those men come into a woman's life barely having enough for himself, not good, that's why I say, personally, it's good for a woman to pray those men away and certainly pray for your future husband always because I am most positive that he's certainly praying for you too and God will certainly bless him with the extra resources to love his wife and children more than that. Ultimately, he won't just be enough for you, he'll be more than enough. The more than enough is God's blessings. Specific passage that talks about that is Proverbs 18:22 "He who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing"...meaning the wife that's his perfect match for him... "and obtaineth favor in the Lord" meaning God will bless him to be not just enough for you but more than enough just by him doing right by you. Literally all his dreams and everything that he prays and hopes for will come into an abundance of blessings and I'mma use myself as an example...God will strengthen him to love you more than enough, kiss you more than enough, make love to you more than enough, provide for you more than enough, protect you more than enough, and so forth and so on. When the man aka future husband is your perfect fit or match or help-meet or companion or soulmate or however you look at it. It'll be easy for him to find you and you'll be easily founded by him. He'll literally give you the answer sheet to his heart not cheat sheet the answer sheet to where you nor he can't miss any answers unless you do on purpose and honestly, no woman nor man, not that I know of, will do that. Every woman deserves to be treated with the upmost love, kindness, care, friendliness, and etcetera etcetera from the man that is just right for her... just thought I share that and I hope this helps someone. He's out there ladies don't deter and certainly don't let anyone deter you from believing that truth. #sorryforthelongexcerpt thanks for reading. #dearmyfuturehubby
Stop sending me Jesters. Gotta be specific. God has a sense of humor
Don’t be confused, be aware and pay attention to the Red Flags 🚩 (inconsistency). Men will always let you know where you stand with them.
Yes!!! How he treats you is how he feels about you. When someone shows you who they are, believe them!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Ouch.
Truth!
🎯 #THIS 🙌🏾
At what point should I let her know how I feel?
Reverse it..how he mistreats her, is really about how he feels about himself..hurting people hurt other people.
Yes, scrolled through looking for someone who shared the same sentiment......................... How anyone treats anyone is a direct reflection on them and how they feel about themselves.. including how we treat our own selves.
That's it! There is nothing you can do about that part only they can
This!
Exactly.
@@porschenator I stop blaming myself after someone mistreated me..it took me a while to get there but I'm working on me.
When a man tells you that he is a different kind of man, RUN.
This is very accurate.
why.. ?
@@user-zx5xw4yw2e I had a guy tell me this. He was engaged in a long distance relationship the whole time. He even introduced me to his family & friends & wanted me to move in with him He spend 8 months with me & never even saw his fiance. How his family played this game with him is just weird & psycho AF. Yeah he was a different type of man: the one you should run away from.
@@user-zx5xw4yw2e because he use that
word *different* like, .. um…
different than *what* ?????
I agreed with you . When a man love you he move mountain for you. You are his priority.
True. My nana said a man will make time for what he loves.
Intuition is the most powerful gift a woman can have when dealing in relationships. The problem is we have been taught to repress or ignore it for the demands of a toxic society. If we can get back to embracing it the same way we embrace love, we can change the dynamic of our relationships dramatically.
Yepppp 💯
Yes I have absolutely learned to listen that intuition an little voice. It hasn't steered me wrong yet. Listening when God speaks, revealed showed me all of his dirt when he was sneaking around. God said" I told you when i met hom he was not for you but you wouldn't listen but now O have your attention. WALK AWAY!! I found me a place got a moving truck packed up my stuff and left him sitting on the floor in an empty house looking like the fool that he is,
He was in disbelief
This made me laugh out loud ! Glad you got out with your sanity. ♥️
Consistent is priority
Sometimes you give an invest so much you forget about yourself. That’s when they take advantage.
Yes! For me specifically. I work a lot of hours in my life and I have kids so a lot of my time is gone already. I only have time left for 1 women and money enough for my kids and myself; yet I still want to and find a way to spend time and cherish my girl. Her happiness gives me that in return. I still feel like she deserves more from me and I wish I could give it all.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
“The guy who’s trynna play you is trynna do less for more”
Yup take a trash bag and throw the whole dude away
😂😂💯
🤣🤣🤣👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Omg that reminds me of Love your natural!
Lol I can see that your a' love your natural' fan
Lol. Amen 😂😂😂
This fact has kept me anchored because lips will say anything..but time reveals all
Absolutely,
I will take my time allowing God to help me Discover who the Man, actually really is, behind those words of his !!
Our King is Coming Soon,
I will pray for you,
Be Blessed
Queen Rita
Uuuu Wii I live by this and let me tell you the snakes 🐍 reveal them selves and their true intentions with time but even faster if you have a close relationship with God and ask him he will answer very clearly !
i think this is about people in general not just in relationships - people chase after what they want end of story. which is why i dont believe in mixed signals. if someone sends you mixed signals then they're not interested. you need to start having standards, limits & boundaries, have some self love and let them go. its only when you let half hearted people go that you can let the really interested ones in. if they're not interested then it means they cannot meet you halfway. not your job to do the work for the both of you, it was never your responsibility.
matcha latte Yes to ALL. OF. THIS 🎯🎯🎯
It's a man's world....the ball is always in their court......
@@louiseboyd8896 Not if you think of what you bring to the table and he loves you. In that case, you have a different but equal power as he will not want to lose you. Know your value and it is just as much your world.
I agree! If both parties feel the same way where would the confusion come in? I wish people would be honest with each other and stop playing games. Take things slow get to know one another first, then decide if you want to pursue things further.
Needed to hear this thank you 🙏🏻
You're totally right. When he us serious there is no second guessing or wondering
I’m so happy that he covers both sides. Since we are all human. Because male or female, neither one is better than the other. ❤
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
When a man wants you, you don't have to wonder or ask; he will do Whatever he has to do to get to you wherever you are whenever you are.
Sometimes you tell them exactly what you required and they go and do the total opposite.
This is correct
What about after marriage
Very true. A person will make time for what they want.
Michelle Davis big facts!
Very true
Yes. Doesn’t matter if it’s a person or other thing. When they choose the same things over you, be it sleeping all the time, playing too much with his friends, etc. He will skip these things as often as possible to be with you.
The narcs. I know we're overly nice to me when I was the breadwinner but once the table turned I was a dead bird lying in the street 😯
I only see him when his momma is gone and late in the day, cause he want to keep it a secret like literally NO ONE can know... Since may I've seen him only 4 times and I have needs so... I think he's already committed and just acting a fool cause he doesn't love himself so I'm done entertaining his ass.
Today some many men have on so many masks. I just don't even know any more...I've learned to ONLY give just as much EFFORT as the individual,
I have a friend who I can tell everything to. He receives what I say even when it's rough stuff about himself. He says thank you. He tells me everything. Cares about how I feel, ask am I hungry, I feel safe with him. But! He was hanging around people that have bad habits and I had to stop dating him. We are friends, and he stopped running around in folly. We talk a lot. About God, everything...we love each other and can be open. He say he wants to be together and he's learning how to be "the leader I need". I think that this connection is so real and good..but I just have been in prayer about it and will see what happens.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
As we Caribbean people say our gut feeling/instinct is the most powerful weapon we women have. It is just that we either ignore it or we aren't in tuned with it but we all have it!!
I totally agree ! I dated a man and he just got out of a relationship when we started dating . The way he treated me was horrible , I was last priority and he will not commit . I was thinking he would change but he didn’t . I left the relationship after 6 months and it’s the best thing I have ever done for myself . I’m so glad I didn’t waste anymore time . I think he still loves his ex and I’m glad to just leave . I knew I deserve better . It was red flags but I ignored them . I was strong enough to walk away . I met a really nice man after that who loves me , respects me and is committed to me .
Oh, i can relate. I showered him with everything...he kept referring to me as his x.
I got all the dirt n pain dumped on me that he didn't have the balls to give his x . And she wiped him out emotionally, financially and every which way. He burned me like a forest fire
Didn’t u get hurt bcoz I’m about to break up with this guy but same time I so scared to loos him I love him
winta shumalem I got hurt for awhile but I’m glad I didn’t waste any more time . It opens you up and frees you to meet someone and start over . The possibilities are endless . Time heals a broken heart but you will come out stronger if you end it with the wrong guy . We all deserve to be loved and cherished
We are not a mans emotional punching bag or emotional pack mule. How a man treats you is how a man thinks/feels about you. Keep your tolerance for disrespect low and your self respect high. Raise your self worth/value to never settle for less than you deserve by staying true to yourself first.
@@wintashumalem5967 and that’s how they treat you like crap because they know that you love them and you won’t know how to live without him. I hope you’re not with him now
Pay attention to How He treats you consistently.
Facts! If his words and ACTIONS don't align, there's a LIE in the equation.
Absolutely
Consistently is key!
In the end, that's when he's just not that into you. Gotta listen to that gut instinct, that anxiety, that questioning, those red flags. So glad I came across this video. Thank you!
Or it has nothing to do with you...maybe he is not even into HIMSELF. My last dead beat couldn't even invest in himself! Never finished anything. Never tried hard for anything, always ready to give up. It was all him. Good luck out there ⭐
@@malhunt7 wow!...dead on!....thank you!.... 🌌
@@malhunt7 that too💯‼
Literally told a guy that not hearing from him everyday isn’t a great way to get to know someone that’s asking me for a relationship. He said “it shouldn’t be this hard”. He was right.
Totally agree, action speaks louder than words. It’s the consistent behaviour that makes the difference.
A narcissistic man will do the things to bait and switch on u..dont be a fool people.
I know all about that, my husband is a narcissists and boy oh boy he is a trip. He was one way and then he changed on me now we are about to get a divorce and I'm ready to move on with my life and be happy. He is mean and evil.
Narcissistic Men will gather all information to get to your heart with the diabolical plan to conquer and control you. It gives them life. It's a plot from the enemy to destroy relationships. Be careful and have discernment regarding who you share your heart's desires. Special emphasis on God's Discernment...Its real!
A narcissistic man is not capable of loving. Their unhealed wounds are a mirror to their lack of self love, which is eventually displayed in how they treat you (and fool you). They are only capable of putting out the bait, as you alluded to, getting you hooked, and then showing you their inability to love, and demonstrate empathy and compassion towards you. Since they are takers, they are only interested in their gain, so if they are treating you poorly, they are unaware, because the world revolves around them. It becomes worse when you call out the behavior, after you’ve become “woke” to the reality of the situation. Unfortunately, it is a doctor Jekyll/Mr. Hyde scenario. I think Stephan needs to do a separate video about dealing with sociopaths.
Very true Fraudulent people
You're so right about that
"You not asking for too much you just asking the wrong person for it", well said Stephan❤❤. Thanks for bringing us the truth, now I just pray we listen.
Or the right man in the wrong season either way communication takes maturity and men have way too much comfort and options to care
Yes... I had to exit my relationship because he was confusing me. Even when I would explain how I wanted to be treated he would resist and whenever I said something anything no matter what he resisted. He said he only put in the relationship when he felt like it. I started focusing on me and realized he really didn't like me. I was just a distraction for him
Did you eventually realize you don't like him or men like him either? Good on you for walking away! You'll find better and you already have better-YOU!
@@colleenfremont-smith3783 I actually realized several things as to why I was attracted to him. 1. He treated me like my father would and his personality was like my mothers.
2. It was a Karmic relationship- He was the mirror to how I was unconsciously treating myself.
@@leileisims6359 powerful reflection sis. Cheers to your glow-up❤🔥✌🏾💥
@@leileisims6359 goodness I have been there. 7 years and 3 kids and the situation is like...he's still just like my mom and full of spite that I left..3 years ago.
A guy told me he’s been trying to get with me for almost 2 years but when we exchanged numbers he took FOREVER to text back. I told him what I expected but he didn’t fix communication so I gave up after a few days
This is so true. If people are just more honest about their needs and values there doesn't need to be any games. This person either fits you or they don't. No hard feelings needed.
✨What a world 🌎 we live in you can’t even tell who the true person in front of you amongst all that is going on in this crazy world 🌎 sad so sad🙏🏽 only God knows🙏🏽 God Bless us all😌🙏🏽💖🌹✨
Excellent comment
So true! Nothing, but deception in this crazy world.
On point! Because honestly my trusting is not all that easy
God is Love and Love is God we must find people that put God first in there life in 2020. This helps weed out bad men and women we need too stop ignoring red flags. A man should only put in work with a woman that understand natural order.
Stack 44 How Awesome you feel this way! Good to hear! Yes! Don’t ignore the bad fruits! Perfect Love Casts Out ALL fear!💌
Amen 👀
Even in finding a man that keeps God first, doesnt mean that they will be perfect, if anything ... you go theough more hell but two imperfext people will keep running to God and God will get the glory out of it!
Amen
Amen
Who we decide to keep in our lives is a reflection of how we see and think of ourselves. This is done both consciously and unconsciously. The moment I began to tap into my self worth and self trust was the moment I began to choose differently. No one has that much game or is that good at manipulating. We are all given the gift of intuition, but sometimes we ignore that inner voice and it loses its power to keep us out of situations that are not in our best interest.
💯💯💯‼
This! This! TRUE!!!!
♥️
So good! Thanks 😊
Yes, it's so true that people make time for who and what they want! I told him I was feeling neglected and he stepped up and made a change
"You just telling the WRONG one"! Done and done!
I did tell him what I needed and it’s like it didn’t matter...all I asked for was consistent communication...
I did the same very thing! And never got consistent communication! And left him immediately!
That's crazy. I did the same thing! Smh I don't even reach out anymore and now she rings my phone once a week with no text in between unless I text. I haven't cut anything off yet because I'm preparing for my boards and don't want to cause myself any unnecessary emotional stress. She calls and says I was just calling to check on you since we haven't spoken in a while smh
Truth from a guys POV...it didn’t matter to him because he just wasn’t that into you so he put no effort in.
Nelly Nel I agree
I did same thing but he is just annoyed of me and tells me that if i cant accept how he is then i should just leave him, cause he'll never change (his words)
Its very simple: Does his words matching his actions? than he care.
If not ,run girl!😅
Lmao this men's are crazy. Less for more?!
Talk a big game without action is useless. Consistency is key!!!
A man will only fully invest in who he really wants. A lot of men project how they feel about themselves onto women & that can be either positive or negative. I believe a person who truly loves respect themselves will know how to love & treat others (with a little bit of direction from time to time)
Tryin to do less for more...
that's it. He only cared about the way he felt about himself. What he wanted, what he thought, how he felt, he could care less about what I felt or desired at all. You live and learn.
He was the epitome of a narcissist. Thank you Stephan, I just received your two books. I can't wait to read them!
You are not asking for too much, you are just asking the wrong person! Bam💥 !!!
Don’t confuse this with the man who only puts in effort when you’re giving him his walking papers... trust me it’s not genuine.
I felt that.
That is such a valid point!😑
Omg Yes
What do u mean by walking papers
@@camilavelasco8894 giving him the boot, send him in his way, leave him or breakup with him all these have the same equivalence.
A man that is genuine in his treatment of others. Doesn’t matter whether girl or guy. When you are a genuine nice caring loving person. You treat everyone with respect and care..
💯👍🏾💯
Good moments are just good moments. Consistency is key.
TRUE! His action speak louder than words.
Relationships are so complicated #SMH
I don't think so... If you know what you want, you'll see the red flags...Sometimes we ignore them because we ourselves don't know what we want or worst...we don't know ourselves.
Draining
I totally agree with that When a man cares loves and truly wants to be with u he puts in the effort consistently I believe a man like this never leaves a woman questioning his intentions with her or about her because he is showing it everyday with his actions not just his words
Yes! His actions should always align with his words! And how they treat us during struggle is very revealing of their true character 💯 It's easy to be Mr. or Mrs. Perfect when things are going great, but I think our character is revealed during tough times.
Period!
Yes. So true. If he keeps yell on you, irritated, make faults it means he no longer cares to you. He wants you to voluntarily leave.
That is so true. My only concerns is him being a undercover player.
I agree with everything you said but I’d like to add perspective from my own experience and acknowledge that there is nuance here. The way he treats you is not only influenced by how they feel about you but also is a projection of his background and how he was raised and what he’s experienced in life. Some of you are asking things of someone who doesn’t know how to give what you’re asking for bc they’ve never had it or don’t know how to give it. For example I communicated to my bf that I wanted more affection in our relationship. I felt his lack of affection (cuddling, petting, cute words) were signals of a lack of interest. He literally looked at me with a face full of sorrow and said “I’m sorry I was raised in a very strict African household and Idk how to do that.” We had to take baby steps and at times he still came off as a bit cold but I led by example and with compassion instead of attitudes and ultimatums and now I can’t get him off me sometimes lol 🙄 his previous ways of showing me he cared were things I took for granted (offering advice, driving 1hr 30 min from his place every week to spend his only day off with me, etc) and didn’t recognize as love bc I was judging him based on how I would show somebody I love them. Communicate what you want but before you go making assumptions about what his actions or lack thereof signify make sure you have an understanding of why it is they do or don’t do these things so you can asses whether or not this is something that just needs a little compassion and patience or if it’s plain disregard for your needs in the relationship. If he wants you he will try and if you want him you won’t diminish his efforts and will be patient as he learns how to love you the way you want him to.
Thank you for taking the time to write all this. This is the exact advice I needed at this moment.
Yes I needed at this time
Well said Aliyah😊
The African no affection thing is accurate haha
Wow just what I needed to hear (read)... you hit it right on the nail.
If the woman is putting in all the work (like I was) and he puts in little to no effort, he doesn't want you. You are a convenience and he takes you for granted.
“You’re not asking for too much. You’re just asking the wrong man for it.” Yes!!!
Agree 100%. A man will work hard for a woman that he's trying to win over. I know first hand what men will do for a woman that he wants, likes or loves.
Yes I agree with that statement. His actions speak with he feel about you.
One thing is for sure, men know what they want. Always consider the red flags. 🙏🏻
Keyword MAN ‼️
If u keep talking to him an letting him no how u want to be treated an he still don't, he don't really want you
In my case, it was true that when I told him and what I needed he faked it the whole time and ended up becoming abusive five years later. That’s why I don’t tell them what I need but I look to see what virtues they stand for and I go by that
That's what I tell them when they ask what I'm looking for. I say I'm not sharing because people will do what you want to get you then CHANGE up.
I agree! A man will only put in the effort for a woman he truly wants to be with.
I am now in the heartbroken situations...and i love this man speech and advice.he talked almost 90% right about man..am so sad by now😢
A man will only put in the work for a woman he really wants - that’s 100% true!
He’ll be at where he really wanna be, and no boody or looks can make him love u if he don’t want to.
Thank u for speaking straight to us ladies ... we need to hear this from a man 🙌🏻🙌🏻🎉💋
Amen
I BELIEVE THIS IS TRUE
A Man, who truly loves you, and wants something long term, is tender, on a consistent basis
A Man needs to know, it is the way it gives them assurance to step up to the the plate.
Nothing is better when we surrender to each other, with Gods guidance, we can have it all if we listen to God and what he has to say.
I completely agree, in my experiences I have observed that a man that wants something, weather it's a partner, a job or whatever he has sets his passion on, he will do whatever it takes to accomplish this..it's in their nature. Now if this man isn't a driven person and expects everything handed to him, then you can't expect anything from them cause it's not there..No Drive No Ride. Don't waste your time waiting on something to happen. Just keep moving on your journey and add the experience to your life resume. Continue in your purpose and the right man of God will recognize a treasure when he sees it. The Holy Spirit drives him towards you, and you will encounter him on your journey. Remember, Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness;(your purpose&journey with you & God first), then all these things shall be given to you according to His will and purpose for your life. Don't take a short cut of thinking a man or a partner is going to complete you...cause that is a false assumption. Only God completes you and makes you whole, healed and ready for your whole purpose of even existing. In pairs we are stronger for the Kingdom's Business..at the end its all about Jesus & the Bride;(us), and we just get to enjoy one another in the process to understand that intimate love God has for all of us. If a man or a woman, you are pursuing do not mirror that image they are Not the ones God had intended for You. Wait!! It will be worth it. I'm still waiting, and God is Faithful so trust His love for You.
Pray for the spirit of Discernment
Also Pray and ask God about the person’s spirit. Wait and trust God he only wants the best for us🙏🏽❤️
Yes, true, we're just blind, naive and oblivious because we want that man so bad
The title alone says it all, we don't have to do mental gymnastics and overcomplicate things!!
How a man treats you is also about his personal life experience, and shortcomings and understanding, and fears.
There's some truths to that. I'm still struggling to understand how do you deal with those whose actions say they love you but their lips will never confess because of the fear that the last time it was said, the woman crushed them 😔
So much truth in this
This happened to me. I absolutely loved a woman but she left me because I didnt know how to truly love her due to the fact that I've had my heart broken before.
Still not excuse. All the comments on this are stupid too.
His upbringing... lack of positive examples growing up etc too...
I remember I used to binge these videos looking for clues on if a particular man was into me. I didn’t realize I was being breadcrumbed,, or rather ALLOWING him to breadcrumb me. Fast forward to a couple years later, I’m in a happy solid healthy relationship with a man that fills my cup, protects TF outta me and SHOWS me every day how much he’s in love with me. Ladies, if he loves you, there will be no confusion and no doubts. Men are way more simple than we give them credit. If he wants you, he’ll make it clear.
Yes, People do what is important to them
The guy I was in a relationship with, a year and half, did all the right things. Almost perfect but there was this little feeling that I had... that he was messaging with another. (Phone face down and on vibrate). I questioned it, to find out I was right. He says she was just a friend. Not what I wanted to put up with. We've been split for 6 mos. Im now reading your book. Finding love after heartbreak. I hope it helps. Thanks!
Yes continue to be observant, and always ask questions. God has someone Very Special for you, who won't be deceiving in the relationship.
I will pray for you !!
Be Blessed,
Queen Rita 💗
@@queenrmia1816 thank you!
Stories like this dont make me trust any guy...so sad
@@sab4895 I know and then they wonder why we're like we are. It makes you cold and harsh towards them all.
@@jaiw.
Aww your welcome !!
Probably the most on point, best advice I have ever heard from anyone in regards to relationships.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Anytime! God bless you ❤
"You're not asking for too much, you're asking the wrong person!" That hit hard! Message received! Thank you for that!! I happened upon your video today & you will never understand how that statement/sign has just assisted me in my personal journey! I was meant to hear you today. Best wishes!
That is very true..... we always get lost in trying to teach them how to treat us that we tend to lose the ability of allowing them to do the work. We start working for them and then get mad when they get comfortable.
He was doing the “work”. Thought things were okay… wow…
This has brought me perspective, I agree that if he's not serious he'll do less for more, and if he's serious you'll know by the effort that he's making