Sharing My Fears And Thoughts At 36 Weeks Pregnant🤰👶 Grab a coffee and let's chat!
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
- #coffeechat #momtalk #twoundertwo
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Today, we're going to have a little mom chat as I share my thoughts as baby #2 is getting ready to join us! Leave a comment down below.
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Hey! I'm Abby, the creator of Classically Abby. I'm a wife, mama, homemaker, opera singer, and RUclipsr who is doing my best to live a classic life each and every day. If you want to know more, head over to www.classicallyabby.com/about...!
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Just had my second son 4 months ago and my elder son absolutely adores his baby brother! A couple of things that worked for us in the transition were: 1) telling my son that the baby was his. This helped him feel ownership and responsibility to the baby (he was only 14 months old when we brought our baby home and even then he understood that the baby was his!). 2) we never blamed anything on our newborn. For example, “sorry son I can’t play right now because I’m nursing the baby.” I feel like this helped our son not feel like the baby was taking me and my husband away from him. 3) I tried as best as I could to not take my son away from the baby or hold him back from the baby when he was showing interest. I would supervise to make sure my son wouldn’t hurt the baby because he’s also very young and doesn’t know his own strength, but I would always encourage him and cheer him on when he interacted with the baby. 4) I never compare the two children. Saying things like, “look how well your brother is acting. Do you see him crying like you are now?.” At the end of the day, your elder son may not truly understand what you’re saying, but using these strategies definitely helped me and my husband act a specific way, and has really helped our older son with the transition! In fact, our eldest son is so obsessed with his baby that he cries for him first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Every day he can’t wait to give his baby a big hug and kiss! We even bought him a little photo album that he can keep in his crib with pictures of his baby! We walk into the room every morning and see him looking through the pictures of his baby brother! Anyway, sorry for all the unsolicited advice! Just thought I would share some ideas that you may or may not find interesting! Also, a little rivalry could be healthy between the children, especially boys! They’ll naturally wanna compete as they grow up and it could actually help bring them closer! Obviously in moderation though
I’m so excited for you to start this new chapter! I was so worried I wouldn’t love my second baby like I do my first but it’s so true that love only multiplies! It always reminds me of how the Grinch’s heart grew 3 sizes that day. I really feel like my heart only grew after meeting our second baby. Not to mention, the love our eldest son feels toward his brother is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has give me. I couldn’t have asked for a better life!
Oh, and a word of wisdom I received when about to have my second baby (from a man who has 7 children), “having a second baby is not like having your first again.” This time around, you have the skills and knowledge and perspective you didn’t have with your first. You know that everything, the good and the bad, is only a season. This gives you a lot of hope is the touch times.
I have personally found the transition easier from 1 to 2. Of course it’s extremely difficult but you know more and emotionally you’re much stronger after your first! Also, your toddler can actually help already! Even if it’s just asking them to get you a diaper, it’s still extremely helpful!
Best of luck, Abby! I’ll keep you in our prayers as you approach the arrival of your newest addition!
Loved all of this!! Thank you!
I cannot imagine NOT having the baby in the room for the first year. It made it so easy to breastfeed during the night check on him if I was worried, etc. I know everyone is different, but I pray that this will be a blessing in disguise for you.
Thank you for this!! Any tips on not waking baby up when moving around in the room? I feel like such a newbie! Haha
@@ClassicallyAbby
1. You're not a newbie to being a mom!
2. Every parent is a newbie to being a mom of each new baby :)
3. We kind of just stayed out of the room when he was sleeping until it was time for us to sleep too 😂 and a little night light that you just have to tap (no buttons or switches) with a warm glow that's not too harsh on your eyes is also a huge help with positioning for breastfeeding during the night, diaper changes, etc. Also, babies are super intuitive, and in my experience, you and your baby are "one" just as much during that first year as you are during pregnancy. You will get into a rhythm and a flow... I know the breastfeeding journey was not easy with your first, and I'm impressed that you persevered! But PRAYING it's easier this time around. Idk if that answered the question but hopefully there's something in there that is helpful 😂 I'm a doula, so I'm super passionate about finding ways to help new moms in pregnancy and postpartum and could talk all day about these things 😂
I remember watching you channel when I was probably 15 or 16 I came back just to see what your up to and turns out your a mom too! I'm also 35 weeks pregnant so I'm really excited to hear your thoughts while I'm on this motherhood journey!
My kids are a bit older now, but what really helped me was having one baby/toddler safe room. I could feed the younger ones while the older ones played and I didn’t have to chase anyone down, or pry small toys from kids’ mouths, I could just chill. My oldest two are less than a year apart, so it was important to me that my oldest still be able to play and explore even if I was otherwise occupied. I also put “mom dates” into action. Once every couple weeks I take one of the kids out and do something fun, just us. We go to a park, or an arcade, sometimes we’ll go see a play at the community theater, get milkshakes, things like that. They’re usually not super expensive, but for important life events we go a little bigger. Graduating kindergarten my husband took them to a hotel for a night, for their 10th birthdays I’m taking them on a bigger trip. My oldest wants to go to Sea World, so I’m taking him to Florida for a couple days in the spring. Just prioritize one on one time. It can be fancy, but it doesn’t have to be.
I think you’ll like having this baby in your room. Just reaching over to pick up the baby is a game changer honestly. Yeah it kinda disrupts dad’s sleep a little but not nearly as much as it does ours so you gotta do what you gotta do
Hi Abby. I’m not a mom myself, but I do have a suggestion as far as storage goes. When I moved in with my grandparents and didn’t have much stuff and I needed a place to store it, I bought a plastic dresser from the dollar store. They’re about $15 and they usually have 3 drawers. At least that’s how the ones I have seen are made. The drawers are fairly deep, so you can fit a lot of stuff in them.
Yes regarding anxiety leading up to baby #2! I clearly remember that even though it was 13 years ago for me! It all worked out so well, though I am grateful I put extra time into thinking about the transition and reading all I could about it. Being prepared is how I roll. lol.
Your hair looks amazing here! Im not sure if youve ever done it yet but I think a great video idea for you could be different hairstyle tutorials! Yours always look so simple yet elegant!
My son recently turned one and giving him a sibling has been on my heart, but I’m scared. The sleep deprivation of the newborn days was extremely difficult for me. That coupled with a toddler is so intimidating to me.
Thank you so much! I totally feel I need to find more like minded mom friends who don’t speak negatively about motherhood. ❤ love this!
you look gorgeous.thanks for the girl chat.
No matter what job someone has, there are highs, lows and mediocre moments. People seem to have an unrealistic perspective on SAHM though, as if it doesn't have fulfillment at all. It's the only job people downplay. It actually feels like people degrade it the way they see low paying jobs. It is weird.
Hi Abby. I'm an occasional watcher who is a 24 year old Orthodox Jewish woman and have been feeling really discouraged in my journey through life. At age 11 I was informed I was post menopausal and have continued to get retested throughout my life and it is a pretty set fact that I will never have children, I have extremely high testosterone, underdeveloped reproductive system, and haven't menstruated since I was 10 (started at 8 which was very distressing because I wasn't even aware what was happening to me). I have been trying to find a partner to become my husband but have continually ended up being turned down due to my inability to become pregnant. I've been to a shadkhan and have been on dozens of dates this point since I was 18 and it seems like no men who are also Orthodox or even Conservative have any interest in being with me. All of my sisters (5 between ages 18 and 29) are married and I feel like I'm on the outskirts of not only my community, but also my family as I'm the only barren one. I know I still have time to find a husband, especially since I can't have children so I don't have to worry about the complications of pregnancy at an older age, but I'm really disheartened by my life's prospects. I haven't been able to find and Jewish resources on topics like this. It seems like women who deal with infertility find ways to still get pregnant but that literally isn't an option for me, my body would not support it if I had IVF or something, it also is completely out of my budget. Do you know of anyone who has been through something like this? I don't expect you to talk on this as it's not something you've experienced although I do know you have had your own complications with pregnancies in the past. Sorry to unload I just don't know anyone else like you online so I was hoping you or people in your community might be able to find me resources
we had four under two years 10 months (last were twins). You aren't officially frum until you have a large minivan.
Oh Abby!! This spoke to my heart so much!
I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with our 5th baby. We had 3 boys in a row! And I 💯% understand your anxiety about “will I be able to love this second boy as much as my first son?” It’s a real fear and one I had never imagined! But let me reassure you, some how your love multiplies- it’s like heavenly mathematics. Somehow you GROW and EXPAND and it’s astonishing to discover that you can have so much LOVE in your heart for your children. 💖
As for space- we honestly just used cheap stacking drawers from Walmart for years (until they broke, haha) for baby clothes. I didn’t have anything fancy. And most of the time baby clothes hung out in a clean laundry basket until the dirty hamper was full and another wash was done! Haha.
Having baby in your room can be a blessing. Our babies spent the first 6-12 months in our room and then were moved to share a bedroom. It made feeding easier, and I was able to sink into sleep better without having my “ears on alert” and mentally being on standby to dash into another room.
One of the things that helped me with my sons was having “busy boxes” for my oldest son, who was barely 2 when he became a big brother. He was so active all the time and needed things to do!
I’d -
1) flatten a big cardboard box and give him crayons to scrawl all over
2) turn a cardboard box into a “Car City” with Matchbox cars of Hot Wheels or trucks, drawing roads and buildings for him
3) use blue tape on the hard floors to make race tracks for little cars
4) use a flat bin with a lid from Walmart, fill it with a substance (kinetic sand, or rice, or dried beans) and put little construction trucks or toy dinosaurs in it for a “sensory bin”.
5) use an empty cardboard wrapping paper roll to prop up on the couch or chair and run little cars or small balls down like it’s a long tunnel
And lastly, I loved your commentary on how being positive about being a SAHM is not an “offense” to those who are either not home with kids, or who struggle with being home with kids. I have a lot of struggles being a mom to 4 kids, with 2 boys who have ADHD and another son who has health issues. But my life is so much better when I choose to focus on the joy of motherhood. ❤
Also- as a mom I love doing my makeup! It’s literally the only creative thing or “me time” that I get most days. It doesn’t happen every day, but when I do my makeup I feel like I have a “boost” to my morale and get to let my creativity shine for a few minutes. ❤
I’m not a mother and sadly I will never able. I will never be able to be a mother, but I think you will once again be a splendid splendid mother, and I hope you don’t mind hearing from a Christian, but you have the good Lord on your side and something tells me you have amazing doctors so I wouldn’t worry too much I really wouldn’t and I love being a part of your classic crew.
Loved this ❤
So nice to see your journey as I’m just a few weeks behind you!!
My boys are 3 and 2! You’ll love it so much! Congrats mama
Thank you for sharing, it's nice to hear another classic woman as a young conservative woman. Happy 30th birthday!!!!! Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!!
well, I'm not a girl but I still enjoy these videos so I better understand how to know and talk to my future wife
You are beautiful Abby ❤️
Loved watching this video! For some video ideas, it would be cool if you make more videos about Judaism for those who are interested. As a Muslim girl, I’m really interested in the similarities and differences of various religions, and wanting to learn more. ❤️
Omg in another world i feel like we would be friends 😂
Be honest Abigail... You really just wanted to spill the tea XD I do wonder about the other mothers side of the story though. Watching your vids I've seen the judgyness so I am curious.
Oh my gatos your pregnant? I didnt even know! Congratulations❤️
Sending love ❤️ from israel 🇮🇱
Beating the dead horse again with others talking about motherhood being hard. 🤣🤣 You obsess over other people’s experiences and then spend the rest of your time judging them
Here you are judging her. Get lost.
@@Yesica1993by Abby’s own words, it’s just an observation. Not judgement 😂😂
I agree. She used this video to judge another mother because they didn't "agree" with her perspective on motherhood. I don't know how others don't see this.
Abby, maybe it would be helpful to take on a part time job (maybe something fun in music) if you truly feel like you are not up to your full potential. I think you are your own harshest critic and it may help quiet your own fears . You may realize that your life is completely full w/out part time work or maybe you realized that there was something inside of you that needed to change
Abby , that being said, you truly have the toughest job already
They are judging themselves, and failing, please keep rubbing your success in their faces. It's not the most Christian thought, I know, but you're not Christian so it's okay (just making a joke). Good luck and may God protect you.