Becoming Disconnected From My Own Message - Some Thoughts on the Difficulty in Being Real

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 1 дек 2024

Комментарии • 77

  • @ThemanlymanStan
    @ThemanlymanStan 3 года назад +16

    I feel dissociated most days. I find your channel extremely helpful and valuable. It's so rare to find someone as honest and humble and most foundationally, healed as you are. I think it's awesome that you admit your shortcomings openly and publicly and are documenting your healing journey with us, while also sharing past healing. It's helpful to people like me who have been there where you used to be many years ago, dissociated and afraid to be vulnerable to being called out for being yourself.

  • @helen9681
    @helen9681 3 года назад +12

    Love your authenticity, you are so real, so expressive, so in touch with your feelings and yourself. You are an inspiration, a breath of fresh air, a gentle, empathic, well-meaning soul. I wish there were more people like you in the world - it would be a much better place. Your videos are always a pleasure to watch!!! Keep up the good work! Thank you!!

  • @MoonChildMedia
    @MoonChildMedia 3 года назад +21

    Daniel don’t feel bad…what you do here is brave and valuable. Tell your critics if they can do it better than you maybe they should.

  • @TasLomv
    @TasLomv 3 года назад +21

    Too sad that a lot of people don't really have the ability to realize when they are disconnecting and they basically live a big part of their lives in a dissociative state. Thanks for bringing up another interesting issue!

    • @sloaneglover1026
      @sloaneglover1026 3 года назад +2

      It's a skill! It can be learned, and practiced. I'm going to be practicing for as long as it takes.

    • @ultramiddle4991
      @ultramiddle4991 3 года назад +2

      @@sloaneglover1026 Never a dull moment for the rest of our time on earth.

    • @SpazBates
      @SpazBates 3 года назад +3

      You are right. I think i've lived most of my life that way. It's very upsetting and it makes me cry when I think deeply on it. What bothers me more is how good i've gotten at dissociating. I reactively continue on course once a depressed mood passes. Addressing this is going to take some regular conscience thought to stay focused. Very intimidating.

    • @sloaneglover1026
      @sloaneglover1026 3 года назад

      @@SpazBates crying, for me, has been a signpost away from dissociation. I recently fell back into my body all the way for maybe the first time. Healing is real. Istg. It starts by softening.
      Eta: in this case, maybe softening towards the part of you that is still working on attention AND the part of you that is feeling impatient. They're both doing the best they know how for you. 💛

  • @lolac8210
    @lolac8210 3 года назад +8

    I can say about my childhood the same things you say about yours. I was dissociated most of my life, until my college years when a traumatic incident made me so dissociated that I was unable to function anymore and was forced to deal with my issues. Now, almost 5 years later I feel more and more connected to myself and could not be more grateful that I got to truly feel life, whereas in the past I was surviving in a state of deep depression and fear.

  • @NightinGal89
    @NightinGal89 2 года назад +2

    Such an accurate observation. I noticed myself that I reacted in similar ways,but couldn't quite put my finger on why. Meaning listening to people talking about their feelings,after going through rough experiences emotionally, I'd tend to get bored and dismissive towards what they said

  • @dianeconklin6374
    @dianeconklin6374 3 года назад +10

    Daniel I love your sincerity. You are such a humble man. In my recovery I have found that humility and gratitude are my biggest assets. When I'm feeling myself regressing...I look up one of your videos to help get me back to the business of progression in my pursuit of my truth. I'm incredibly grateful for you and your insights. My best to you from New Hampshire!

  • @saparagus
    @saparagus 3 года назад +4

    What a comment below: "im better off usually when im nust living and not ... figuring shit out." (sic.) At once both insidious and misguided (as all things insidious are).
    Insidious: because it's basically telling this channel that we "think too much," are all whiners, should "stop being a victim," etc.
    Misguided: because - well, good luck with your "just living" without figuring your shit out. It is precisely your unwillingness or inability to "figure shit out" that is preventing you from living. Maybe due to laziness - Daniel has invested *literally decades* of effort to achieve the depth that he shares with others here - or due to intellectual incapacity - Daniel is clearly a very perceptive thinker. And organizer and presenter of ideas. Which requires enormous intellectual effort.

  • @frankpeter6851
    @frankpeter6851 3 года назад +13

    One hopes that by getting in touch with historical traumas, that the facility for empathy is strengthened. My favorite part of Alice Miller's work is when she ties the brutality of fascism to having
    The tendency to forget or disassociate from childhood abuse/trauma.

  • @trevorisle5462
    @trevorisle5462 3 года назад +10

    Great vid! Timely and useful ideas. Its hard to connect to yourself when your experiences are sledgehammered into insignificance. Victim culture has become so poisonous that we are almost shamed out of our voice if we cannot claim the lion's share of trauma. Its so important to sometimes shut out distractions from our own life if only so we can relate better to the bad parts AND the good. Words like prejudice or privilege are important and useful at times but if they alienate us from ourselves they have lost both purpose and value.

  • @saparagus
    @saparagus 3 года назад +4

    Thank you for sharing the analysis - insightful as ever! Your assessment of the situation again rings very true, very accurate. Please continue the excellent work!

  • @RevolutionaryThinking
    @RevolutionaryThinking 3 года назад +1

    I always despised people who said "it's all in the past" "just let it go" "it's normal it happens to all of us" "it's time to get out of the past" and last but, not least "just don't think about it". Screw those people and screw those messages. They are part of the problem whether they realize it or not. Years and years of normalizing BS, trauma, child abuses, and all other sorts of rotten behavior from older generation has lead to this crap. The worst thing we can do is indoctrinate ourselves into that "just let it go" way of thinking instead of really investigating what happened then grieving it and coming to terms in a healthy way instead of ignoring it then it's just a cancer that grows and grows with out any treatment. Thanks fo sharing this.

  • @andrewparry1474
    @andrewparry1474 3 года назад +7

    King of dissociation here. After spending thousands of hours studying my own psychology over the passed few years, I have been deleting psychology channels. They were necessary, but ultimately, they're pushing me deeper into my head!!!
    I know about how my deranged family system lives on inside myself, as self-sabotage etc etc etc.... I personally find it all fascinating, even (or perhaps especially) in a dissociative state. But it's an addiction. I'm seeking that elusive video which teaches me to feel my feelings without feeling uncomfortable.
    I'm happy with certain kinds of uncomfortable. So I focus on those, and pretend that I'm working on myself. I call it "decoy psychology"!
    It's about emotional literacy & sitting in exactly that which I would do anything not to sit in!
    I haven't seen many of your videos over the last few months. You are the only channel I haven't deleted. Not sure if I will. Because it is a great channel!

    • @juliam2049
      @juliam2049 3 года назад +1

      I can relate to that. I am more and more in my head as I read and watch more into my own psychology, im better off usually when im nust living and not focusing on figuring shit out.

    • @ThemanlymanStan
      @ThemanlymanStan 3 года назад +1

      Wow you just described me! Wanting to feel feelings without feeling uncomfortable. And feeling SOME uncomfortable feelings and acting like im working on healing. I took perhaps a bit of a different route with it. I use drugs to get high and confront my uncomfortable feelings while intoxicated because it doesn't feel as scary or anxiety provoking

  • @athena7042
    @athena7042 3 года назад +13

    It's a hospital for the criminally insane, and then there's the patients.

  • @timothyVowens
    @timothyVowens 3 года назад +1

    you are the best! thank you daniel mackler

  • @AlexCantu
    @AlexCantu 3 года назад +9

    Mannnnn, I really needed to hear this at this moment. Thank you for this man 🙏🏽👌🏽

  • @Cosmogirl014
    @Cosmogirl014 3 года назад +3

    Excellent content as always, wow - love your channel Daniel. You are so authentic, thank you.

  • @artisticbloodflow
    @artisticbloodflow 3 года назад +1

    Such a privelage to have access to learn from your insight and awareness. It has been helping me bring back so many fragments that have been lost, and has also encouraged me to continue advocating for myself when put in situations where I am trapped and abused by psychiatry. I just got back out of inpatient and this last time I finally stuck my feet in the ground and spoke out against the outright negligence and abuse. I have tried to over the years in so many situations, especially when I was in the state hospital. But I thought I was crazy because I was alone in my awareness of what truly goes down and is the intention of these facilities, and the machine itself. No one supported me, if anything I would be victimized more for not only speaking out for myself but what I was witnessing the other patients being put through. So I just really, really appreciate your awareness, depth, bravery, and honesty for speaking out as you do. Because it has and will continue to save lives. I feel I have not been allowed to die and have had to come to this awareness for a reason, and your channel has inspired me so much to consider speaking out whether that be through a video/social platform or even writing. Honesty and awareness on these topics and insights is so important when it comes to the manipulation so many vulnerable people are easily trapped in. And you bring a huge point to the dissociation, it is so difficult living out your days being so out of touch. Not feeling connected to anything when the true reality of our lives is connection to all. And all of the vulnerable people sucked into psychiatry are pretty much forced into a dissociated state, whether that be from the trauma, medications, and/or probably both. Which makes it incredibly difficult to be present and want to gain insight to your case. You are so much more likely to be victimized. So I just think speaking out about these things in depth isn't really self-indulgent. At least, I don't feel so. If anything, I think it is sparking deep, deep change for the greater good. Which has brought me much more hope. Thank you for all you do!!

  • @astrearibeiro
    @astrearibeiro 3 года назад +1

    Congratulations, Daniel!!!👏👏👏👏👏 It is inspiring and makes me feel stronger. Thank you.

  • @salsapark_
    @salsapark_ 3 года назад +5

    Yeah Titicut Follies is very hard to watch. It's interesting, I just realized I may watch more intense documentaries and movies, listen to intense music, and read about intense subjects, almost for that dissociative feeling or state, using media as a drug in a sense. It's good this habit has declined through out the years.

  • @marywolfe6598
    @marywolfe6598 3 года назад +2

    Be you....its all good enough.

  • @mayseekify
    @mayseekify 3 года назад +16

    It's the same voice, isn't it? The one which mocks, ridicules, undervalues, undermines, suppresses the child's true feelings and the one that tells the adult he/she is resentful, self-indulgent, lives in the past, for wanting to resolve childhood traumas and get connected with his/her true self.

    • @sloaneglover1026
      @sloaneglover1026 3 года назад +1

      Yes, I could see that. We're all a little different where our edges meet, but I was taught to self-betray and the same parts have been doing this for a long time.

  • @cosmicallis7936
    @cosmicallis7936 3 года назад

    5:55 I have days when I disassociate while watching RUclips videos, especially if I'm trying to multitask and I'm just kinda inadvertently being robotic.. physically going through the motions and my mind being elsewhere... Usually if I'm watching your videos, I really want to get the message, so I'll play it back or sometimes my mind will jump right back in at the right time, when your words will somehow sync up perfectly with wherever my mind was at!!!😮😮 Which can be amazing, like seeing the Wizard of Oz sync up with Dark Side of the Moon😄😄 sometimes it makes it all the more meaningful 💜💜💜

  • @seanwhitford1537
    @seanwhitford1537 3 года назад +1

    You are a fine wine to listen to brother. Keep throwing barres (keep including us all!!!!!). I feel you and I am nobody. Your lyrics mean a lot to me...keep rapping. I am disconnected from moment to moment, every f'ing day of my life. After all, I am labeled OCD. meh...

  • @havadatequila
    @havadatequila 3 года назад +7

    Family vacations = dissociation retreats.

    • @香料國境
      @香料國境 3 года назад +1

      you mean forced family fun?

    • @havadatequila
      @havadatequila 3 года назад +2

      @@香料國境 No. Meaning the dissociative defenses developed in childhood remain in effect.

  • @larahamilton2273
    @larahamilton2273 3 года назад +2

    Always enjoy what you have to say Daniel!

  • @Hummingbird1880
    @Hummingbird1880 3 года назад

    You are such a humble and wise soul. Wow when you are talking I realized that with this whole incredibly stressful covid period (and raising a baby, now toddler) a little part of myself has disassociated. I have cried so much less during this time but I need to reconnect and get back to myself.

  • @kahlodiego5299
    @kahlodiego5299 3 года назад

    Relocating from NYC to upstate New York gradually pulled me back into dissociation. I became chronic again. I couldn't fit into the "family values for Jesus" culture. Then I wound up back in the mental health system. It made me understand the influences that made my parents so F'd up.

  • @charlottem6065
    @charlottem6065 3 года назад +1

    Thank you Daniel ❤️ 💋

  • @EmpressOfIron
    @EmpressOfIron 3 года назад

    You’re wonderful! 🍁

  • @hs6404
    @hs6404 Год назад

    It is a very difficult thing emotionally to force ourselves to think about our fellowman in situations or circumstances that are cruel and unfair. As a teen I recall watching a documentary on the starving children of Africa. I cried watching children covered in flies, bloated abdomens, malnourished. I pointed to the documentary's scenes on the TV screen. His response was, "We cannot feed the entire world." He meant that one person or one family cannot alone cure the problems of the great masses. I could not disassociate. If all you can do is pray, you do that. If all you can do, is talk about it to bring awareness of the plight of others, you do that. I believe we can disassociate, but to do that completely then we are not holding ourselves to the standards of our higher consciousness. To be conscious, we must possess empathy and compassion, sympathy for more than a fleeting second.

  • @kahlodiego5299
    @kahlodiego5299 3 года назад

    In NYC I had lots of public transportation and lots of 12 step and other self help groups. Up here I cant even get around. This turned me back into a chronic case (like when I was with my family.) It amazes me that the mental health system doesn't get the connection between mental health and self care. It amazes me the country/world doesn't see the connection between mental health and agency.

  • @crazy2coolauntie759
    @crazy2coolauntie759 2 года назад

    Perfectly said. Manipulation. Conditions.

  • @RevolutionaryThinking
    @RevolutionaryThinking 3 года назад

    Well yes there were moments I would be jealous of people who could escape their families and heal because I thought it was unfair that I couldn't. Instead I'd like to make allies (and not get ignored).

  • @hugoaceves5535
    @hugoaceves5535 3 года назад

    Excelente!

  • @upendasana7857
    @upendasana7857 3 года назад

    The problem is what you point out is still so much denied in society as a whole..the gaslighting and double talk and the game playing in order to protect a false ego/personna is such an everyday event in our society.Integrity,true soul searching is such a rare rare thing.So many people are prepared to deny and avoid so the fact that you face uncomfortable painful truths in and of itself is such a service.
    The bullying and shadow projection dynamics that play themselves out in our society on a daily basis is disturbing and one which you'd think we would have moved past more by now with all the horrific things that have happened on this planet.
    I really worry what our future will be if we do not get to be more reflective on the places we act out from so often because of unhealed traumas..humiliations and degradations.I don't think there is any more important work to do than this for the future of humanity.

  • @karimsonsafehold9233
    @karimsonsafehold9233 3 года назад

    You are doing good work human starseed, keep it up. There are more eyes in the heavens watching and on earth than you may suspect.

  • @Baqsam
    @Baqsam 3 года назад +1

    _I watched that Madagascar documentary too! I did! _*_I did!_*

  • @pod9363
    @pod9363 3 года назад +1

    I hope that once I get to a super safe place in my life that I’ll just automatically stop dissociating.

    • @sloaneglover1026
      @sloaneglover1026 3 года назад +2

      When I gave myself permission to name and establish the safety I needed, my capacity to feel difficult feelings started to increase. As that capacity grew, my dissociation became less frequent. Be gentle with yourself, and love the ones who are hurting in you. When they can speak, they will tell you what they need. Listen, stay present, and one day you will visit yourself and find you never have to leave again. I swear it's true. It's bumpy as hell, but that's survival for ya 🤷🏻‍♀️ worth it

  • @RhenanMartinsRepoem
    @RhenanMartinsRepoem 3 года назад +1

    Isso é a capacidade que temos de mapear o entorno e criar imagens dentro dos nossos diversos sistemas e então produzir uma reação. Antonio Damasio explica muito bem isso. Essa noite aconteceu isso comigo através de um sonho, e até o momento estou sequestrado, fora de mim, provavelmente não irei produzir hoje porque não estou em mim mesmo. Crase situation.

  • @lightning9494
    @lightning9494 3 года назад +10

    Daniel, what is your take on religious abuse?
    Specifically childhood indoctrination

    • @RockyAbduljabar
      @RockyAbduljabar 3 года назад

      What do you think?

    • @lightning9494
      @lightning9494 3 года назад +2

      @@RockyAbduljabar I know from firsthand experience that indoctrination into an adult society from birth brainwashes people into making it their core belief system. I'm gay and was born Mormon. No gay person would choose to believe in a religion that tells them they should be straight. For example..

  • @davidcawrowl3865
    @davidcawrowl3865 Год назад

    This one bears repeated watching, as there is a lot being conveyed.

  • @johnnyecoman9121
    @johnnyecoman9121 3 года назад

    Yes, too much horror can make us feel self indugent, but real real revolutionaries take the time to honour the pain of the world before taking action, or even deciding on whether to take action. To take action from a place of disociation is reckless. To watch videos of horror from a place of disociation is to numb ourselves to the horror of the world.
    I write this as a resting revolutionary.

  • @shells4donna
    @shells4donna 3 года назад +2

    How do you process the fact that your mother never loved you and never wanted you? I'm just STUCK. 💔 How do I accept this and how do I move on? I'm having so much difficulty accepting the reality, but I need to move on...

    • @threethrushes
      @threethrushes 3 года назад +3

      At least for me, it was a realisation that I had to become my own mother and father.
      Life isn't supposed to be easy. We spend 15+ years under the control of a dictator who can be wise and benevolent, or malicious and capricious. We then spend the next 20, 30, 40 years trying to heal ourselves.
      Most of the time, parents are irresponsible, and use children for their own therapy...
      Good luck!

    • @atiger4716
      @atiger4716 3 года назад +1

      It is possible, I know by myself.
      It will be painful, but there is a way out.
      Grieving is the key, everyone should do that, a do it completely. Not bypassing it.
      This Chanel has a truly good resourses to make it possible.
      I read two books from Pete Walker that helped me a lot. They are:
      The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness Out of Blame
      Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
      He has a web page, where you can find useful and free material.
      I wish you the best

    • @ggstylz
      @ggstylz 3 года назад +1

      Sorry to hear this. I can’t really relate to this this kind of situation but my relationship with my father has extraordinarily volatile since I can remember. The only thing that works apart from minimising contact, is to accept that although it feels like it is personal at times, the truth is that he can’t help being who he is. If I can remember that (which often I don’t even want to because I’m emotionally hurting ) it makes it a bit easier. Wish you all the best.

  • @athena7042
    @athena7042 3 года назад

    There's only so much we can take. Feel free to limit what you look at.

  • @kahlodiego5299
    @kahlodiego5299 3 года назад

    Incidentally these thoughts and opinions of mine are considered to be just a part of my diagnosis.

  • @charthers8903
    @charthers8903 3 года назад

    Certainly privileged.. The stress you felt for a day is what a lot of people’s whole lives look like

  • @efehansahin2172
    @efehansahin2172 3 года назад

    It's not a privilege. It's a god given gift. Or whoever 😅

  • @jeannepeters8181
    @jeannepeters8181 3 года назад

    😊😳🙄🤪😜

  • @kiranjaybabla8925
    @kiranjaybabla8925 3 года назад

    I think with time watching your stuff, I've definitely felt that you can be too self-indulging. Consider this - the camera you're using was probably created by Chinese manufacturers that have to dissociate in order to survive. The dinner you made probably by someone who works his ass off 70 hours a week in a field to harvest the food.
    Everything about your message is a privilege, you're standing on the shoulders of people that stay dissociated to provide you this privilege. I hate it - I wish I could be connected to my inner self like you are, but sadly I have bills to pay the world isn't going to stop turning for me.

    • @Deweythesecond
      @Deweythesecond 2 года назад

      @Three Fifths Of A Man fair point. Maybe I'm just a little jealous I'm in the status quo haha

  • @idcb6718
    @idcb6718 3 года назад +1

    What's the reason you record always with the same shirt?

    • @idcb6718
      @idcb6718 3 года назад

      I like Daniel of course,I think he doing it on purpose just wondering why

    • @dmackler58
      @dmackler58  3 года назад +9

      I often record quite a few videos on the same day, so that’s one reason. Also, I have very few shirts, so if the temperature is the same where I live over a few weeks I tend to record in the shirt that corresponds most comfortably to that temperature. And also, and this may be the most important reason, I often just don’t even think about it and just put on the first shirt I see.

    • @waynemizer4912
      @waynemizer4912 3 года назад

      @@dmackler58
      I pretty much wear a black T shirt and jeans everyday, not the same ones of course.
      It's my unofficial uniform while working on the farm. It's comfortable and it's practical.
      Wear what suits you.
      PS I don't think the op meant anything negative by asking the question either.

    • @dmackler58
      @dmackler58  3 года назад +6

      Agreed! I think it’s a fair question.