John Bradshaw - Healing The Shame That Binds You (Part 6)
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- Опубликовано: 18 ноя 2010
- This lecture is based on John Bradshaw's book with the same title..but in this lecture he only covers the first part of the book (the problem)..the second part of the book deals with (the solution) and the healing process..
You can find the book on Amazon.com:
www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-B...
This was on PBS about 20 years ago and people absolutely loved it ...but we all forgot about Bradshaw...how much more we need him these days....
"If we want to prevent addiction, we got to stop shaming children!" 2:03
Toxic shame kills,
this guy is just trying to help us heal and move on, and what he says makes a lot of sense
John’s teachings and talks are more relevant now than ever before!
His unshakeable strength, vast experiences of life and
indestructible hope lives on. So glad you came our way.
Thank you so much for making John Bradshaw's videos available to us. I have been a fan of his for many years and every now and then revisit because this stuff surrounds us and touches us all the time. It is very HEALING to hear his teachings once more.
This is why I say " a broken society will eat itself" 😖
What a shame to go to your death without knowing who you are because you get addicted to all those role.. God this man was powerful
This man knows the truth! Thank you so much for posting this series of videos.
what wonderful teachings john bradshaw left us. amazing man.
thank you John for helping thousands of people all over the World! I came from that road and now I am free and happy...hugs
God dam I bought his book but didn't like it cause it was too dam brainy but listening to this guy talk. Wow!! He makes you feel like you can do anything. I mean I had to calm my self down after listening to the whole series.
Audio books, maybe. I was looking for part 7! Didn't want it to end there
have you read his other book? Homecoming I think it's called in English...I think it's genius! This man understands me like i never thought anyone ever could! So grateful for these books
This talk should have been played at every school for every parent, at every doctor and pediatrician's office, at every church, at every business....PBS, CBS, NBC, CNN, FOX. Everyone should hear these truths and about He who is the Truth, the Way and the Light.
That was SO powerful
Here in 2018!!! Very inspirational and thoughtful!!
Powerful talk. We really do need one another if ever we are to heal and free ourselves to move in a healthier direction.
I have done all of these and more to my kids and had it done to me...they no longer speak to me....I know better now.
My God I needed to hear this-it’s like he is me living my life-thank u so much for this!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I love how you speak truth...
lucky to have born this suffering so I could love and help the others
Beautifully said.
How did u heal I'm in a state of terror after my mother's abuse fatter of my kids abuse I am so overwhelmed by what my abusers did to me I'm so angry yet i don't know how to feel good
Thank you so much for uploading this, i've only started looking into John Bradshaws stuff last few months and have benefited greatly!
Thank you for this upload god bless us!
:42 - WOW. that's been my life story. Performance driven! doing more to do more because I have toxic shame.
Thank you for telling it how it is!
Thank you very much for posting these. I just watched all of them. I was a big fan of Bradshaw -- I read the book about Healing Shame back in the day. These are these are best ones on RUclips I think. I put up one of his PBS episodes but this one is better quality.
thank you very much for posting these. it really helped
Thanks for posting this ❤️🙏
2:30
8:45
3:15
Wow! This was incredibly powerful for me. Thank you for sharing.
I love his work and I really appreciate you uploading these. :-)
That's the shame based behavior. You have to take off the mask, the false self, and learn you can trust yourself. Have courage.
Thank you John.
Big thanks for sharing. No doubt this man knows what he is talking about. Its pretty amazing when you identify your own negative personality traits through somebody else's words. Its tragic how long people live feeling shame for the way somebody else treated them. Even more tragic is it is so deeply engrained you can be lost to know how who you are without it. They say this about a lot of mental health problems. I've seen mental health patients afraid to let go of their OCD, anorexia etc because it forms as part of the personality very young and they feel they have no identity without it. Think multiple personality disorder - what personality is the real person?
If you like this method of healing you might find al anon really helpful
Yes!! He is awesome
I really needed this.
Big thing. Huge. Great. This is great.
I lost my ability to connect with my fellows. It’s up to me to learn how to do that again.
Alot of the comments here show that they love the way its presented. I really like the content. New things that I didn’t know about.
Among other it clarifies why I have very high levels of 3 and 8 in the enneagram tests. It’s obvious that it’s about shame. The guy is most likely to be an 8 and also driven of shame. Amazing fact!
More interesting is the solution for it. It’s said that narcissistic personality is incurable, but what this entire series shows is the opposite, that it is curable.
love you thank you
Thank you!
I wish I could speak like him one day
Thanks!
powerful stuff!! more please.... :-)
I feel your pain {{{HUGS}}}
Bump.
This needs to be seen, and researched, and sent and shared, and-- daresay, discussed?
Thankyou :)
Awesome~~~
What about those of us who hide in their homes afraid to venture outside in fear that somebody they may know might see them. The fear of rejection, or fear of doing, or saying something weird, stupid, crazy, or abstract. What about those who are regretting almost every aspect of their lives, wishing they could go back in time and know what they know now to change mistakes they made then. Living in regret, self loathing, depression is the norm. A constant barrage of past events, and failures.
Lulu4Him--You aren't alone. Has been 5yrs and don't know if you will read this but I hope you reach out to someone for help if you haven't yet. Not always easy with trust issues but you can do it for your sake, dear one.
Thank you so much ObsKure7.
Wow!
This also explains the rationale behind and effectiveness of steps 4 and 5.
I believe its man's greatest fear that stops us asking the mask off, our fear of the unknown, what are the going to think of me and my actions?
i understand what he is saying. maybe i understand it way too well... but what happens when you follow this advice to stop pretending, stop wearing the mask, come out of hiding, reach out for help, or tell a loved one/or loved ones how you really feel inside, and instead of "loving on you" and offering support, they become much much *more* angry, frustrated, and abusive towards you? and then start digging into you even harder. because to be capable of offering you the kind of support you need, they would have to face and acknowledge how much of the damage was *done by them*, and they can not or will not *ever* admit that although no parent is perfect, that they did/said some extremely traumatic things to you. just seeing you so depressed, just seeing how many of your thought processes or behaviors have become distorted, just seeing you isolating yourself so much, just hearing you crying alone in your room so often, turns you into a walking reminder of their own shame/guilt as a parent, and they want *nothing* to do with it. so, you will *never* hear 'i am sorry' or 'i know i made a lot of mistakes, but tell me how i can help you now' NO... you only get labeled as crazy/insane, which will undermine you even more... because once you get the 'mentally ill' or insane label, no one will really take you, or your feelings seriously anymore. it discredits you, and anything you feel, or say. and it isnt just the parents, now the whole extended family sees you that way, even friends that were once close see you that way, and turn away from you. i have tried everything... tried to get them to agree to family counseling, tried to do more things that would make them happy that i did not even want to do, tried having calm rational discussions on what i was going through, had multiple therapy sessions a week... until they said "just stop it! dont drag us into this, *you* are the one who needs help!" i have made myself vulnerable, i have screamed from the rooftops that i need their help, i have begged them on my knees "please, if you cant/wont help and support me, at least just let me be so i can try to heal without more gasoline being poured on the fire every day". no. this only causes screaming fights. this has been happening from childhood, and continues to this day, decades later.
so, what do you do then?
i have learned not to be open to those who attack and dont want you to share and be open. see Brene Brown's stuff on who not to share your story with. Many ppl, espeically family are not ready to see the real you... I have a church family and a few in there that can handle the real me... its loving and freeing....
Ray Bankes
thank you Ray. i do have a very best and most loving friend who *never* fails me, as i never fail them... and i do know love, joy, and freedom through him. but he does not live close anymore... had to move. we still talk almost every night, and i still feel all of that love for the real me. i guess i just wish he was still close to home... but i am grateful to have him in my life in any way. and i have all but left the door to my family slightly cracked open. much more control and limited interaction. it has helped. i dream of when i can be well again (heart problems) and go back to work and move out of here.
ruclips.net/video/sPYsMM1FvXs/видео.html
You need to find your soul family..not necessarily your family of birth . Find your tribe...I too walked away from everyone and lost my kids, my ex and friends and started over with a few friends and that sit but these friends fill my soul more than anyone ever has. Good luck...I am here for you
Very sad however you do not need them you can work on your issues with them without them. They are sick and they do not to sknowlage it, you are a threat to them because you are forcing them to look at themselves. If I was you I would build myself a healthy happy life out side the sick family and mind my owen buisness. Every one is going through his/her owen jurney in life and have choices to make. The people who hurt you made the choice not to take a look at themselves, let it be. You can't force them to change.
People who are addicted are full of shame and trying to soothe themselves. If you need their love, care, support, understanding, and you ask them for that, they won't give it to you. Theyll turn you away. Why? Because they can't give. They are so needy themselves that they can't even "give" you understanding. That is why it would be wise not to go to them and ask for anything from them.
Not always true. We have to be careful not to lump everyone in one category and labelling, unless we are strong enough to look at ourselves. Judging is never a good idea. it makes a person appear above others, and that simply is not true. When we judge, we are only judging ourselves.
Most people live in a "negative or positive" point of view. Because they can't deal with reality. 🤔
He clearly did the EST training or the Landmark Forum... plus NLP. Good stuff.
Shame on the 4 people who disliked this video :)
But healthy shame, let's not spread out toxic shame ;)
Soooo what do you do
+Liz Torres Accept yourself.
social anxiety institute
This is exactly why I want cocaine legalized here in California. At least I can use my shame and low self-esteem to get stuff done.
AlphaDog Elite3+I think all drugs need to be legalized and addicts not criminalized because of how it worked in Portugal. "Just Say No" and criminalizing didn't work so Portugal decided on a different approach. This lifted the shame to addicts and in less than 10yrs more than 50 percent of addictions went down. Meaning addicts chose rehab that became free. Using funds to help that became freed up that was was once used to jail, incarcerate and bog down the legal system.
Legalizing took away stigma. People were no longer being treated less than (shame based) and instead embraced. (Love/accepted/compassion). Really a win-win for everybody.
For this to be fully successful, Mexico would do better to do the same. Crime rate goes down on both sides of the border.
It is "insane" to continue to penalize and not offer help. Doing the same thing over and over, (and generational) again and having the same results.
Meanwhile, try not to be hard on your unique and lovable self!