I'm a four and my favorite thing about us is probably our empathetic-ness. Yea, we can be overly emotional, but because we're so connected to our feelings we can more easily connect with others' emotions, too.
I am a total 4! The most telling in this clip for me is envy. I have been feeling lately I have the "sin" of envy. Mainly...people that have or came from a good loving family. I think much of my anger stems from this. Now...how to get rid of it!?
@@amazinggrace4924 this is the big question! In Cron & Stabile's book "The Road Back to You", they offer the advice for fours to go out of your way to find and express appreciation for what's present and unique in the people you love rather than always focusing on what's missing. They also say that Four's need to hear this loud and clear: there's nothing missing. It may be hard to believe, but you arrived on life's doorstep with the same equipment everyone else did too. Everything you need is here. Hope that helps a bit!
That's mine, too. But it alot of times it leads to sorrow when I have no creative outlet to use it, so it can be a curse as well as a blessing. (I'm a Four😀)
I read that the 4’s sin of envy is not about stuff. It’s about being overwhelmed by the world and how others seems to function better. I resonate with that more than envying “things”
I sometimes envy how everyone seems to have a place or purpose in the world. No matter how hard I try, I never feel like I fit in or "get it". It's like the world had a meeting about how to belong and I missed it....probably because I was in bed and didn't care to go....but still, I missed it! Lol, smh.
Yes I resonate with this explanation a lot more. When she first said "envy," I thought it sounded more like a type 3 trait since they are more into things based on value and status. When I was a child, I don't know why but I thought everyone was better than me and everyone's things were better than mine...not because they actually were better. Very much like the coffee skit haha! It just made me sad and confused more than "envious" though. I feel like envy is followed by resentment of others who have it better, but I always just looked up to everyone and wished I was more like them.
I cracked up. I’m a 4. Lol. The one I don’t resonate with is the victim/manipulation. I actually withdraw and go silent when I’m hurting but I’d never manipulate someone to make them feel sorry for me to hang out with me. I also despise manipulators and can spot one from a mile away. All the rest I was dying. 😂
Good to know about the manipulation part! I would say that's a REALLLYY unhealthy four, so that probably means that you're more on the healthy/average side of the 4 spectrum! Thanks for watching and commenting, Savanna! ♥️
@KingTojPisces Agreed, I'm a self pres 4 and never related to using manipulation. Envy and wallowing in melancholy and other 4 problems? Sure, I've done all that. But not manipulation, so it probably is dependent on the subtype or the individual 4's circumstances, unlike the other aspects that are true for every 4.
I always want to tell my husband all the dark things I think and feel but because it's so often and usually after an argument I feel like it might come off as being manipulative. Like I feel like I do what the girl does in the bed lol and drone on and on about my woahs lol but I don't do it to manipulate people into being with me but I do it so the people close to me can know what I'm going through and understand me.
I do the same thing!! I feel bad bc I have quite a few performer friends who want me to see their shows. I try to enjoy the show, but I'm always sad I'm not up there performing.
I'm a 4 and I catch myself in the manipulation thing, but it's more like being really quiet or making small, subtle remarks so that the other person will seek me out. It's when I'm at my most unhealthy. Definitely trying to work on it!
Me, too, Rebecca. I'm glad you commented because there are a whole bunch of 4s above (obviously not as unique and insightful as us, haha ;) who claim no awareness of manipulation. It's subtle, and we fours thrive in subtlety and nuance in relationships, I think. Stay mindful!
I have to admit that I can be manipulative, but not in the way presented. For example, I have tried to inspire people I don't like (i.e., coworkers) to do "bigger and better things" so that they would leave the company. Of course, I try to inspire people I do care about to do the same, but with positive intentions. On the flip side, I'm sure my husband feels like I manipulate him every time I cry during an argument, though that is definitely not the case... I'm just sensitive and get overwhelmed with emotions easily.
I'm a 4 and I heard this and resonate with it: I don't get overly envious but I do find that I consider myself unique and "better" but at the same time envy others' popularity or ease of fitting in. So it's a lot of feeling like too much and not enough at the same time!
@@crystalma3292 me too crystal! 4w3 as well :D I think people forget there are somewhat extroverted 4s out there! A lot of 4 descriptions are VERY 4w5 sp-dom and so-blind focused. Riso even talked about it himself, saying it was very difficult to find an encompassing description of fours that resonates with both wings. Suzanne Stabile held an enneagram conference I went to and she mentioned how there are four enneagram types where the wing makes a HUGE difference because it's so fundamentally different from the core type: 8w9, 9w8, 3w4, and 4w3. She says these types may struggle to place themselves because most descriptions focus on the more common alternative wing and therefore don't feel like they quite fit. I struggled a lot between 4 and 7, then 4 and 3. It took multiple books for me to be certain I'm a 4w3. These four types (especially 3w4, 4w3, and 8w9) are often at odds with themselves because their core and wing want very different things -- or very similar things in very different ways. Sometimes I imagine my 4 and my 3 fighting in my brain and I have to be the mediator
@@AbbeyHowe I think so! Depends on the individuals of course, but I know when someone I don't know says they're a 4 I have this initial gut reaction of "you probably don't know much about the enneagram and just liked 4 for the aesthetic dreamer vibe" and IMMEDIATELY catch myself and feel guilty. Kinda a similar thing to when people say they're an infj -- I'm an enfp but for some reason I get those thoughts of "no you're not" before correcting my impuse brain. It's kinda like "oh no you can't be a 4! I'm a 4! There can only be one" which is ridiculous, of course. I've met fellow 4s I've had great interactions with and think we could have some great friendship dynamics! Both just need to be healthy enough to accept there's no such thing as "most unique"
@@AbbeyHowe yessss one of my best friends is a four and when i pour my heart to her she always understands me and never tries to comfort me so yeah!! hahaha
@@quinintheclouds when you said ""you probably don't know much about the enneagram and just liked 4 for the aesthetic dreamer vibe" LOL it happened to me the complete opposite. i spent 2 years thinking i was an enneagram 9 and i knew i just knew deep in my heart i was not accepting the type 4 in me because i didn't want to be one :((
In a grocery store one day, a handsome man asked me where to find something. I told him. He smiled, thanked me, and walked away. My immediate thought: "Wow, we can tell our grandchildren that this is how we met." Not saying I'm a 4, but...
Sometimes I'll tell friends or coworkers to tone it back and as I write this comment I think it's more that they are loud that annoys me and not the happy depressed people are usually quiet
OMG, the relationship part where they find their soulmate every week. I have literally had interventions about this. Also the silence for days. Also the not enjoying the ordinary moments.
oh boy almost SAME lol. I was stalked by a weird guy, someone openes my car and stole a part and the next day i got fired.. all in one week. haha all the feels
About the melancholy thing... I usually explain it to people as a feeling of "longing for a home that I have never known". It's been a major thing in my life, not gonna lie.. xD Usually just comes and goes and when happens I have teach people around me to not push much the issue by saying: "Today I feel soft.." Funny vid btw, I relate a lot to basically everything XD
I love that you know you have to teach others to understand and that you have found a way to translate your feelings to them. That's some solid wisdom and responsibility there!
I seen a spongebob meme the caption said when your depressed and someone ask you what's wrong the picture was a box that said old reliable the next picture was the box opened with the words I'm just tired generally my go to for not wanting to deal with people
oh no!! don't mean for you to feel attacked. this is all in good fun. 4's are the best connectors and have an unbelievable range for empathy!! (and I'm dating a 4 and he's the BEST)
"No no no, I don't want yours. I just want mine to be as good as yours." Yep, I've thought/said this...uhhh...more than once. :P I also frequently go radio silent. I blame my w5. :D
I was told about Enneagrams for the first time today, so I went and took a test, and I'm 98% a type 4. I don't outwardly act like your caricatures, but I definitely feel those things inside. I think I must understand how crazy they'd make me sound, so I just keep it to myself, though ironically, the fact I feel like I can't be freely open about those feelings just makes me feel even more melancholy.
My dramatizations are not the enneagram... I'm more presenting funny stereotypes. The most important thing about the enneagram is your inner motivations and that might be what you're relating to. The Enneagram Institute says that four's inner motivations are "the need to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else." If you are just starting the enneagram, I recommend researching The Enneagram Institute!
This one is really great too! One of my dearest friends is a 4 and her drive to feel special shows up in just about everything she does. She has 7 kids, she home-schooled all 7 though high school, she cooks amazing meals and desserts for her family and friends....90% from scratch! She excels in artistic expression, being a quilter, crotchet-er, knitter, scrapbook-er, teacher, yoga instructor, adventurer traveler, an avid reader and expressionist painter....all at the same time AND while being her quadriplegic brother's primary caretaker! Seriously...no exaggeration...not even a little bit. Whatever subject she decides to pursue, she will master it and do it in a way that is either exceptional or at minimal, different. She abhors "status quo" and naturally and unconsciously moves to stand out in order to avoid being even remotely connected to that phrase. She's a role model for so many and a sense of awe follows her, but those without a good sense of self often feel intimidated and insignificant in comparison while some view her as a "braggadocios know it all." Knowing her back story lends itself to understanding, compassion, and empathy around her need to feel special. I am always enamored by her ability to simultaneously do what she does without being burnt out way more often then she actually is; however, feeling special (along with her type 3 secondary drive) keeps her melancholy moods to a minimum and keeps her sense of joy elevated by her natural ability to first notice and point out the beauty and uniqueness in others as well as in her surroundings.
Wow! She sounds like an incredible person. Plus, she's her brother's primary caretaker! Thanks for sharing. I love hearing about how different people embody their enneagram number! ♥️
@@AbbeyHowe I am that ennegram 4 that you described so aptly in this video; I am 90% of this video to the core. And I am the friend of Tammy up above who wrote that glowing crazy amazing description of me! And of course, as a 4 to the core, you know I am printing this out and putting it in my journal! The fact that she knows me THIS well, better than my husband of 31 years, well, for a 4, that's the best gift I could ever have. To be known. Thanks Abbey for your presence!
The radio silence is the most accurate thing ever. It's never about intentionally ignoring people that you care about, it's about getting the emotional and mental space that you need to breathe. Great video!
I'm an embodiment of an unhealthy enneagram 4 so much that it hurts thinking about it •I have internalized superiority complex that is why I thrive for authenticity and uniqueness •I'm really unaware of the fact that I'm manipulating people and victimizing myself •Really prone to jealousy like when I see my friends having fun without me I get so emotional and overthink about how worthless I am and it's not just friends but also talented people as well especially those who share the same interest as mine and the fact that they are still newbies but are performing better than me is so infuriating •I really hate succumbing to trends because I feel like I'm settling for mediocrity
I’m a 4 and I’ve never felt more seen and exposed. The pumpkin spice bit was PERFECT. If it’s popular, you can almost guarantee I’m not into it or doing it. I’ve always been that way. In college I had a writing assignment on Blackboard and a majority of the class chose to answer one question. I answered another and was one of the only, if not the only, person to do so simply because “everyone else answered the other one.” Wave your freak flag high 4s!
You had me at "4's have a hard time being around overly happy people." I cannot stand it!! I feel like it's so fake and obnoxious, but that's probably just me being in the throws of my sulky moodiness.😂
Sooooo true!! I have never been able to verbalize it correctly for others to understand when they think I am unhappy with my life and I am telling them that I am not ......it's just lol well this
I’m a 4 and a 7, I can relate with a lot of these, but I when I go through something I actually never tell people about it because I don’t want to burden people with my problems, so I just withdrawal from everyone and everything... and in relationships, I don’t really jump from person to person either. I’m actually usually the one who scolds my friends for jumping from guy to guy.
I find self acceptance to be the best way to assist with this. This 4:envy can turn into a chase with external validation, always wanting. In some ways it's good as it creates drive for more. it can lead to a profound sense of failure at times. ENFP 4w3.
You're a 4 and a 7? Can you elaborate on that? I was mistyped as 7 by the tests because of my optimistic and enthusiastic nature (and my ADHD, let's be real, the tests don't accommodate neurodivergent traits very well...or function very well at all) but after reading some books it helped me feel confident that I'm a 4w3 with a strong 7-fix. I'm curious what your experience is! No one seems to see there are any similarities or overlap between 7 and 4, so knowing I'm not alone in my connection to them both is fascinating!
I’m a 4 and the envy thing really resonates with me! It makes sense as to why I literally can’t do social media. I always have this fear of FOMO and feel like everyone has a better life than me even though logically I know that’s not true. But I just can help the way I “feel” when I see everyone else’s life. I always feel lacking.
Imma 4 it’s ironic because I’m a very happy person. So the thing about not liking overly happy people throws me every time but I can kind of understand it because I do feel weird around people who smile really hard all the time and I just get the feeling that they are hiding some deep not-so-happy truth. My mom instilled gratefulness in me and I’m a devout Christian and so gratefulness has really been my saving grace as a four. I have learned that conforming a bit helps make friends and then I can show my crazy once we are friends, does t make me any less special to tone it down till appropriate 😁
I'm a 4 but as I've gotten older I've been able to tune down some of my negatives. But I'm in love with the Enneagram because it helps me accept, understand, and love myself and others. Thanks for the fun videos!
My daughter is SUCH a 4! I'm a 5, so I often struggle with her big feelings, but I love that she has such a unique perspective on things and always has creative ideas.
im a 4 and i feel like this is totally correct i am always wanting something that someone else has wether it’s based on looks, possessions, money, or wisdom.
No 5 is very true my Enfp 4w5 friend. I cant get answer from her 5/6+ days sometimes. And yes she is related to sad things sends my sad photos... 😃 but also she can be overly happy. My wing is 4 and Im=critical, unique side.
I had no idea until last week.. about this but dang..I'm annoying apparently lol....it's accurate except for the manipulation part but I may need to analyze that too 😶😏
Yeah this was definitely bang on. Only exception is I keep most of this inside my head, and I dont care to maintain too many relationships all in all. But that is likely the 5 wing. This was perfect ! I especially resonated with number 5 6 and 7...I loved the happy people comment. I definitely need to work on not being an unhealthy type 4. Good job.
I'm type 5 wing 4. So all of these is literally me. I love melancholy and melodrama that people think I'm depressed. I enjoy sad songs or sad movies or sad dramas more (I also like horror and thriller genre because I can watch them being terrified and angry) And I'm currently living far far away from my family but I only talk to them once a week or sometimes once a month. Not only from my family but also from everyone who knows.
The first one about Carl unfriending her and how she’ll never have friends again 🤣🤣. Recently whenever I get into a misunderstanding with a friend i immediately jump to “I’m not meant to people. I’m just gonna back off from EVERYONE “ it seems like the most logical answer at the time 🤣🤣
I don’t feel envy; I just wish I had a gift of my own. I mean... there are so many amazingly talented people out there who are like characters you’d read in a book, yet I feel like I’d be a background character no one notices in said book.
My best friend is (possibly) a 7w6 and he is TOOOOOOOO optimistic and enthusiastic. whenever he messages me in a super energetic tone I just want to die... I guess type 4s are just weird.. lol
I am a 4w5 and your videos on 4 are the best and most accurate I have found. Other videos I have found on other channels show type 4 spinning around in Disneyworld, everything is said in a dreamy and ridiculously dramatic way. Yes, I definitely have some of those qualities but absolutely not would I ever be in a public place dancing and spinning around while reciting poetry.
I am 4w5 too (also infp), and i do walk in circles while listening to music or thinking about things, but only when i am at home. I would never do that in public
I’m an enneagram 4, and I remember back in 2018, when I was depressed, I went absolutely creative and did a bunch of stuff, and you know what? I felt better.
I laughed through the whole thing. 😂 I’m a 4 wing 3. Unbelievably funny. I will say I do like basic things though so I can’t relate to the last part. 🙈🤣
I don’t understand, I’m a 4 and while I feel deep sadness for the entire world, and I love sad music, sad art, and anything that conveys a strong emotion, I’m actually one of THE most positive and happy people I know.
Lol Disappear and go radio silent for days 😑😴😴😴 I will say that for myself when I try to just tell someone what I'm going through it's not to manipulate its just telling someone how I'm feeling and it feels like the world is ending then after having someone show empathy and understanding it really helps to get back on track. I don't think it's playing victim either when we just feel all the feels♥️
3:34 "have a hard time being around overly happy people" - YES! I like to call it "freudenschade," deriving misery from somebody else's joy. (I *think* I made that up...I dunno...it's supposed to be the inverse of schadenfreude). What it is for me is that certain personality types seem to want you to be on the same emotional wavelength as them, so when they're all happy-happy-joy-joy, they expect you to do likewise and it's exhausting.
Your video made me laugh! I am a enneagram four. I definitely do the radio silent for days and sometimes it can be weeks. ( Not something I am always proud of, its usually when I am being critical of myself and feel flawed. I was paying attention to whether or not I can be emotionally manipulative..but maybe. I hate thinking of myself like that though. As for dating many people and not being satisfied.... I have been married to my high school sweet heart for 13 years. I think its the hopeless romantic in me..though I can definitely struggle with the " Maybe there is better out there." It is incredibly annoying because I love my husband, but somehow I struggle with reality lol . It is interesting that I always hear people say that fours don't like to be around happy people. It depends I don't mind some optimism when I get really low. The only time happy people are annoying is when..they seem to have no off switch to their energy. Or they can't handle when I"m in my serious moods. I do smile and can be cheerful and happy though. I think its a stereotype that fours are only serious all of the time. Last thing hah... Your interpretation of how we listen to music cracked me up. I literally do that everyday. It is weird to me that most people don't really feel the music. I am always saying to my husband " Can't you just feel this.. the feelings..the mood?" lol. Songs with the feels are my favorite. Its hard to describe what music feels like when we get really into it. My husband actually described it in sort of a good way. He was looking at me weird one day as I was doing my usual wake up with music and dance like a weirdo. I asked him " What do you think it feels like when I listen to music." Probably a weird question but I wanted to hear his interpretation or perception of my being in his reality. I guess I kind of wanted to reflect on his world. He said " I think the way you get happy and get deep into your music is like when I am enjoying figuring out and unfolding a video game." It was a weird perception to me, but I valued it. I think he meant , how people feel when they are passionate and fully engulfed into the things they love . that feeling they get. That feeling of the world stops and your'e not aware of many things anymore. All you feel, hear , and see is passion. That probably sounds ridiculous. Anyway sorry for the long message. I really enjoyed your video. I always appreciate seeing the world through someone else's perception. Thanks for sharing.
It doesn't sound ridiculous at all! Hearing other people's (and especially your loved ones) perceptions of you can be incredibly enlightening. I love hearing how music affects your daily life in such an impactful way. As I said in the video, my boyfriend is a 4 and I definitely took inspiration from him for the music section. He feels music so deeply and really values the way artists and songs can affect your mood and your day. I'm curious to know what your favorite wake up song is! Thanks for the awesome comment and for watching my video. I really appreciate it! ❤️
@@AbbeyHowe Thank you for understanding ❤️. It definitely can be enlightening. As for my favorite wake up song..hmm it can change depending on my mood. Right now I enjoy Lana Del Rey the song the greatest . It can be a plethora of different genre's. I even love listening to musical songs and pretending I'm in a play , movie , or music video haha. Especially when listening to songs from La La Land and The Greatest Showmen ☺️..two of my favorite movies. Does your boyfriend listen to one ideal song or does it change with his mood? Also does he to act like a nerd singing or fantasizing like he's putting on a show? 🤣. I love that you're compassionate and try to understand each type despite flaws.
this is the 2nd of your type 4 videos i've watched, and the accuracy feels like being hit by a bus (of facts.) the withdrawn coping style, the "i just have a lot of feelings." it's like you can read my mind o.O
Lol im a 4, so true but this is very unhealthy to average 4s. We have lots of inner work to do 😂. That said this girl is a total 6. They talk, think fast and run on anxiety. Lets see a video on them too 😂😂 most common enneagram types on the planet.
@@AbbeyHowe yup! 6 is the most common, followed by 9 and 3. The rarest are 1, 4, and 8! The order of the last three vary depending on the study but it's fairly consistent that 6s are by far the most common and typically 4s and 1s the least common.
My ISTJ mother is a 6w5 so/sp in Ennargram but she is actualy always on the healthy spectrum and her third Fi fuction is very well developed. Because of this as a INFP with Ennargram type 4w5 sp I can connect her to a deeper level then most of the other ISTJ.
@@lunewinter4566 good point! I should've mentioned. There's very little research; that's just what info I've gathered across the studies that have happened, so not definitive by ANY means. Plus it's good to note the type of people who would be drawn to partaking in those studies in the first place and whether that skews the types participating.
Being a four is rough when you’re around happy go lucky 7s and 2s. The high energy and the excitement over every gleeful thing. I do tune out hard. I’ll be over here when you guys decide to bring it back down. I wonder why we can explore big dark emotions but big bright emotions send us running for the hills.
This is so relatable!!!! Every single one of them. Except when it comes to me and coffee. I always think my coffee is more superior to the other person's.
oh good golly IT ME lololol. tbh I lost it at 0:05. But really, this is great and I need to send this to my hubby so he can help call out these quirks when I do them and don't even realize it
I'm four and I realized how melancholy am I.... oftentimes I imagine my life as a movie scene 😂 but I love how "melancholy" can also means "have a deep feeling"
Rhetorical Q1: Who hasn't said, "Just close your eyes and listen to this..." after discovering some great 'ambient space music tracks'? But I guess the act of discovering some great 'ambient space music tracks' for the purpose of tuning out the whole wide world is the kinda thing a four would do. LIMH! (Laughing In My Head!) Reminding my seven wife of the first time I said that to her made her LOL, though. Okay. I'm clearly a four and I'm good with that. Q2: Do you really answer all the comments?!?
Paul, thanks for your rhetorical musings, they made me LIMH! And I do try to answer all comments though sometimes it takes me a while to get to them ... I prioritized yours because it made me smile! I'm hoping that the comments sections of these Enneagram videos can be a place where people discuss and learn from each other!
I'm not sure if I've ever met a healthy E4 yet, since all the other ones who are closest to me have always been immature or have a lack of self-awareness lol #3,4, and 6 makes it very difficult for me to get along with them in the long term and I'm the one who winds up fading out from the friendship because of it... Aside from that though, I highly value their emotional authenticity and hope they could see themselves the way others who admire them do!
I relate to all of these, especially the going “silent” for a few day one, I do like happy people though, and I enjoy being around them. The only thing is once I consciously realize that the person is overly happy I get annoyed by every action they take. If this happens to you best thing to do is just ignore it while u can because they aren’t really doing anything wrong, it’s just a perception miscommunication.
Yea, it mostly resonated with me, except for the "radio silence" item. That's not me. I crave approval and attention too much to do that. I have come to be grateful to be a 4, especially in my work when it's good to have (in Kathryn Grant's phrase) "emotional muscle". I am able to "go there" emotionally with people when others are not.
Ohmygawwwwwwd that is me. And I’m sorry. Not the envy part, exactly (BECAUSE I’M NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE): I get envious of people actualizing themselves, or being easygoing, having easy friendships, etc. This is so helpful. I have felt ashamed about myself (evidently, a characteristic of fours?!) and feel like there are many more like me.
the part where the 4 goes into hiding, ha! nailed it. not necessarily under the covers but i am totally guilty of going radio silent for days while i work whatever stuff out in my head. i feel seen, which is of course my favorite thing :)
What’s your favorite thing about enneagram 4’s? Mine is their capacity for unbelievable emotional depth and human connection.
I'm a four and my favorite thing about us is probably our empathetic-ness. Yea, we can be overly emotional, but because we're so connected to our feelings we can more easily connect with others' emotions, too.
AGREED!!! 4's are so empathetic and connected to others. I love it. Thanks for the comment!
I am a total 4! The most telling in this clip for me is envy. I have been feeling lately I have the "sin" of envy. Mainly...people that have or came from a good loving family. I think much of my anger stems from this. Now...how to get rid of it!?
@@amazinggrace4924 this is the big question! In Cron & Stabile's book "The Road Back to You", they offer the advice for fours to go out of your way to find and express appreciation for what's present and unique in the people you love rather than always focusing on what's missing. They also say that Four's need to hear this loud and clear: there's nothing missing. It may be hard to believe, but you arrived on life's doorstep with the same equipment everyone else did too. Everything you need is here. Hope that helps a bit!
That's mine, too. But it alot of times it leads to sorrow when I have no creative outlet to use it, so it can be a curse as well as a blessing. (I'm a Four😀)
I read that the 4’s sin of envy is not about stuff. It’s about being overwhelmed by the world and how others seems to function better. I resonate with that more than envying “things”
Good point Daring Greatly!
I sometimes envy how everyone seems to have a place or purpose in the world. No matter how hard I try, I never feel like I fit in or "get it". It's like the world had a meeting about how to belong and I missed it....probably because I was in bed and didn't care to go....but still, I missed it! Lol, smh.
@@heathers432 I feel you !
THIS
Yes I resonate with this explanation a lot more. When she first said "envy," I thought it sounded more like a type 3 trait since they are more into things based on value and status. When I was a child, I don't know why but I thought everyone was better than me and everyone's things were better than mine...not because they actually were better. Very much like the coffee skit haha! It just made me sad and confused more than "envious" though. I feel like envy is followed by resentment of others who have it better, but I always just looked up to everyone and wished I was more like them.
Seeing so many 4s in the comments is making me feel less special.
How very 4 of me.
Claire Samuels this made me LOL. So dang accurate for my 4 self
Same!!!
Hahahaha me too
Claire Samuels I just laughed aloud at this. Same
Same 😂 I think I could never be in a relationship with another 4, because I need someone to tell me that I am so different and special
I'm a four. Totally relate to the part where she says "He's so cute, I'm imagining our whole life together...he doesn't know I exist yet". Lmao
I'm a 3w4 and that was my entire dating life HAHAHA
Lisa Zoria samesies Lol
This took me ouuuuuut lmao
Me too 😂😂😂 omg I'm so guilty
I've been dating a four for about three weeks now. How long do you think I have? Any advice keeping her on the line?
"Enneagram 4s can sometimes disappear and go radio silent for days." Or months... or years... been there and it wasn't pretty.
My best friend from high school is a 4 and she would just shut down for weeks.
hugsandhomies me too! It’s hard to explain to others why it happens too.
Hannah Raymond-Jones so is the best way to maintain a good relationship with a 4 to casually keep reaching out to connect with them?
Lol this is what people around me been complaining about 😭😂
Its months n years in my case ..
Yes. This. I am SO HAPPY to learn that it’s not just me!!
I cracked up. I’m a 4. Lol. The one I don’t resonate with is the victim/manipulation. I actually withdraw and go silent when I’m hurting but I’d never manipulate someone to make them feel sorry for me to hang out with me. I also despise manipulators and can spot one from a mile away. All the rest I was dying. 😂
Good to know about the manipulation part! I would say that's a REALLLYY unhealthy four, so that probably means that you're more on the healthy/average side of the 4 spectrum! Thanks for watching and commenting, Savanna! ♥️
Savanna Breazeal yeah I’m a four and I kind of diverged there a little bit as well.
@KingTojPisces Agreed, I'm a self pres 4 and never related to using manipulation. Envy and wallowing in melancholy and other 4 problems? Sure, I've done all that. But not manipulation, so it probably is dependent on the subtype or the individual 4's circumstances, unlike the other aspects that are true for every 4.
I always want to tell my husband all the dark things I think and feel but because it's so often and usually after an argument I feel like it might come off as being manipulative.
Like I feel like I do what the girl does in the bed lol and drone on and on about my woahs lol but I don't do it to manipulate people into being with me but I do it so the people close to me can know what I'm going through and understand me.
@@samanthasanchezhernandez4574 I have gotten to the point of self-editing my thoughts a little more as life has gone on.
The envy thing is SO true! Lately I haven't been able to enjoy performances, b\c a part of me is jealous of the performers for being so talented.
OMG I FEEL THIS TOO! Majored in drama and musical theater and sometimes get sad when watching other people onstage.
Oml sameeeee
Ohh yeah I so feel this.....
At least now you haven't been to performances
I do the same thing!! I feel bad bc I have quite a few performer friends who want me to see their shows. I try to enjoy the show, but I'm always sad I'm not up there performing.
My self absorbed self FEELS SO CALLED OUT RIGHT NOW TELL ME IM AM LOVED AND NEEDED
YOU ARE LOVED AND NEEDED!
You are so loved and needed. yeah i wonder if i felt called out, or in denial, or completely just not like a 4? lol it's all in good fun though.
I can resonate w this comment on a whole other level
When I tell you I felt this in my soul 😂
When she said that she loves her man right before the video started, I felt that. Thank you.
I'm a 4 and I catch myself in the manipulation thing, but it's more like being really quiet or making small, subtle remarks so that the other person will seek me out. It's when I'm at my most unhealthy. Definitely trying to work on it!
Ooh, interesting. Thank you for sharing, Rebecca!
same here!! You put it into words:-)
Me, too, Rebecca. I'm glad you commented because there are a whole bunch of 4s above (obviously not as unique and insightful as us, haha ;) who claim no awareness of manipulation. It's subtle, and we fours thrive in subtlety and nuance in relationships, I think. Stay mindful!
Just this exactly and it is something I pretty much despise of myself
I have to admit that I can be manipulative, but not in the way presented. For example, I have tried to inspire people I don't like (i.e., coworkers) to do "bigger and better things" so that they would leave the company. Of course, I try to inspire people I do care about to do the same, but with positive intentions. On the flip side, I'm sure my husband feels like I manipulate him every time I cry during an argument, though that is definitely not the case... I'm just sensitive and get overwhelmed with emotions easily.
I'm a 4 and I heard this and resonate with it: I don't get overly envious but I do find that I consider myself unique and "better" but at the same time envy others' popularity or ease of fitting in. So it's a lot of feeling like too much and not enough at the same time!
YES!!
Omg I feel the exact same way. I’m a 4 too.
Sooooo true!!!! How can we be more in the center of it?
@@ArturoMPrato no idea 😅
Yesss
I feel like Type 4 goes hand in hand with INFP.
It's me.
I'm the Virgo INFP Type 4.
Hello Desiree! 👋 Thanks for commenting!
INFP type 4 here as well 👋
Weird I’m an ENFP type 4
@@crystalma3292 me too crystal! 4w3 as well :D I think people forget there are somewhat extroverted 4s out there! A lot of 4 descriptions are VERY 4w5 sp-dom and so-blind focused. Riso even talked about it himself, saying it was very difficult to find an encompassing description of fours that resonates with both wings.
Suzanne Stabile held an enneagram conference I went to and she mentioned how there are four enneagram types where the wing makes a HUGE difference because it's so fundamentally different from the core type: 8w9, 9w8, 3w4, and 4w3. She says these types may struggle to place themselves because most descriptions focus on the more common alternative wing and therefore don't feel like they quite fit. I struggled a lot between 4 and 7, then 4 and 3. It took multiple books for me to be certain I'm a 4w3. These four types (especially 3w4, 4w3, and 8w9) are often at odds with themselves because their core and wing want very different things -- or very similar things in very different ways. Sometimes I imagine my 4 and my 3 fighting in my brain and I have to be the mediator
I'm an INFP 9 (Pisces!), but a lot of the 4 still resonates with me :)
3:17 *flashes back to when I randomly stopped talking to all my online friends for 8 months*
HAHA SAME
I feel called out... Like for real
Oof mood
So true hahahaha I thought I was the only one like this or is this also a 4 thing? lol
Never have I ever felt so called out in a youtube video.
I'm such a four that when I read comments from other fours, I think, "ah you probably don't understand me either". Ooooh boy.😬
Haha, Isabel, that's funny. I wonder if fours can be friends with other fours? 🤔
@@AbbeyHowe I think so! Depends on the individuals of course, but I know when someone I don't know says they're a 4 I have this initial gut reaction of "you probably don't know much about the enneagram and just liked 4 for the aesthetic dreamer vibe" and IMMEDIATELY catch myself and feel guilty. Kinda a similar thing to when people say they're an infj -- I'm an enfp but for some reason I get those thoughts of "no you're not" before correcting my impuse brain.
It's kinda like "oh no you can't be a 4! I'm a 4! There can only be one" which is ridiculous, of course. I've met fellow 4s I've had great interactions with and think we could have some great friendship dynamics! Both just need to be healthy enough to accept there's no such thing as "most unique"
OMG ME TOO hahahaha
@@AbbeyHowe yessss one of my best friends is a four and when i pour my heart to her she always understands me and never tries to comfort me so yeah!! hahaha
@@quinintheclouds when you said ""you probably don't know much about the enneagram and just liked 4 for the aesthetic dreamer vibe" LOL it happened to me the complete opposite. i spent 2 years thinking i was an enneagram 9 and i knew i just knew deep in my heart i was not accepting the type 4 in me because i didn't want to be one :((
In a grocery store one day, a handsome man asked me where to find something. I told him. He smiled, thanked me, and walked away. My immediate thought: "Wow, we can tell our grandchildren that this is how we met." Not saying I'm a 4, but...
that would be such a great "meet cute"!!
The beginning with the record player “Close your eyes and listen to this” and moving the hand with the music- THAT IS ME 100000%!!
I felt this, yet on a deeper level than most people could ever possibly understand.....
lol
arent we all lol
;-)
Dude, hilarious!
I definitely think about going radio silent everyday 😂
hehehehe
Domnique Penny I’m radio silent as I write
got called out on the overly happy people one, honestly just can't stand it.
Same...
Same, I not sad tho but those type of people were so annoying for me. Like thAt's n0t hoW yoU liVe liFE y'All
Sometimes I'll tell friends or coworkers to tone it back and as I write this comment I think it's more that they are loud that annoys me and not the happy depressed people are usually quiet
OMG, the relationship part where they find their soulmate every week. I have literally had interventions about this. Also the silence for days. Also the not enjoying the ordinary moments.
glad it resonated!!
4w5, I legit lost a side job, got in a car wrecked and broke up with a girlfriend in one day. Plus saw coco in theaters. 😆
oh boy almost SAME lol. I was stalked by a weird guy, someone openes my car and stole a part and the next day i got fired.. all in one week. haha all the feels
About the melancholy thing... I usually explain it to people as a feeling of "longing for a home that I have never known". It's been a major thing in my life, not gonna lie.. xD Usually just comes and goes and when happens I have teach people around me to not push much the issue by saying: "Today I feel soft.." Funny vid btw, I relate a lot to basically everything XD
I love that you know you have to teach others to understand and that you have found a way to translate your feelings to them. That's some solid wisdom and responsibility there!
I seen a spongebob meme the caption said when your depressed and someone ask you what's wrong the picture was a box that said old reliable the next picture was the box opened with the words I'm just tired generally my go to for not wanting to deal with people
"Longing for a home that I have never known"... you've captured the sentiment perfectly. Thank you
I feel attacked...but very accurate. ugh.
oh no!! don't mean for you to feel attacked. this is all in good fun. 4's are the best connectors and have an unbelievable range for empathy!! (and I'm dating a 4 and he's the BEST)
"No no no, I don't want yours. I just want mine to be as good as yours." Yep, I've thought/said this...uhhh...more than once. :P I also frequently go radio silent. I blame my w5. :D
haha I love it Missy!
Same and same!
Missy Michaels same!! 4w5, too!
I was told about Enneagrams for the first time today, so I went and took a test, and I'm 98% a type 4.
I don't outwardly act like your caricatures, but I definitely feel those things inside. I think I must understand how crazy they'd make me sound, so I just keep it to myself, though ironically, the fact I feel like I can't be freely open about those feelings just makes me feel even more melancholy.
My dramatizations are not the enneagram... I'm more presenting funny stereotypes. The most important thing about the enneagram is your inner motivations and that might be what you're relating to. The Enneagram Institute says that four's inner motivations are "the need to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else." If you are just starting the enneagram, I recommend researching The Enneagram Institute!
Fair enough!
This one is really great too! One of my dearest friends is a 4 and her drive to feel special shows up in just about everything she does. She has 7 kids, she home-schooled all 7 though high school, she cooks amazing meals and desserts for her family and friends....90% from scratch! She excels in artistic expression, being a quilter, crotchet-er, knitter, scrapbook-er, teacher, yoga instructor, adventurer traveler, an avid reader and expressionist painter....all at the same time AND while being her quadriplegic brother's primary caretaker! Seriously...no exaggeration...not even a little bit. Whatever subject she decides to pursue, she will master it and do it in a way that is either exceptional or at minimal, different. She abhors "status quo" and naturally and unconsciously moves to stand out in order to avoid being even remotely connected to that phrase. She's a role model for so many and a sense of awe follows her, but those without a good sense of self often feel intimidated and insignificant in comparison while some view her as a "braggadocios know it all." Knowing her back story lends itself to understanding, compassion, and empathy around her need to feel special. I am always enamored by her ability to simultaneously do what she does without being burnt out way more often then she actually is; however, feeling special (along with her type 3 secondary drive) keeps her melancholy moods to a minimum and keeps her sense of joy elevated by her natural ability to first notice and point out the beauty and uniqueness in others as well as in her surroundings.
Wow! She sounds like an incredible person. Plus, she's her brother's primary caretaker! Thanks for sharing. I love hearing about how different people embody their enneagram number! ♥️
@@AbbeyHowe I am that ennegram 4 that you described so aptly in this video; I am 90% of this video to the core. And I am the friend of Tammy up above who wrote that glowing crazy amazing description of me! And of course, as a 4 to the core, you know I am printing this out and putting it in my journal! The fact that she knows me THIS well, better than my husband of 31 years, well, for a 4, that's the best gift I could ever have. To be known. Thanks Abbey for your presence!
Anna Fogg That’s what I was thinking! Wow! How beautiful to have a friend that sees you and understands you!
What a remarkable woman, certainly living out her potential, I love it 😍
A lovely description!
As a 4 I feel like I’d rather be deprived of what I know I need from a person, than manipulate them.
Girl: "It's Monday!!! Happy Monday!!!"
Me: Shuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuupp *sips imperfect coffee*
YES ☕️ 😂
The radio silence is the most accurate thing ever. It's never about intentionally ignoring people that you care about, it's about getting the emotional and mental space that you need to breathe. Great video!
I'm an embodiment of an unhealthy enneagram 4 so much that it hurts thinking about it
•I have internalized superiority complex that is why I thrive for authenticity and uniqueness
•I'm really unaware of the fact that I'm manipulating people and victimizing myself
•Really prone to jealousy like when I see my friends having fun without me I get so emotional and overthink about how worthless I am and it's not just friends but also talented people as well especially those who share the same interest as mine and the fact that they are still newbies but are performing better than me is so infuriating
•I really hate succumbing to trends because I feel like I'm settling for mediocrity
Welcome to the club....I had nooooo idea but I guess better late than never
I’m a 4 and I’ve never felt more seen and exposed. The pumpkin spice bit was PERFECT. If it’s popular, you can almost guarantee I’m not into it or doing it. I’ve always been that way. In college I had a writing assignment on Blackboard and a majority of the class chose to answer one question. I answered another and was one of the only, if not the only, person to do so simply because “everyone else answered the other one.” Wave your freak flag high 4s!
I have a new understanding of why I was never into Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings... or pretty much any pop star post 1995.
You had me at "4's have a hard time being around overly happy people." I cannot stand it!! I feel like it's so fake and obnoxious, but that's probably just me being in the throws of my sulky moodiness.😂
Do you notice being alerted to "fake" happiness more than when it's real joy?
You described 4's envy in such interesting way, because it isn't about what the other person has, but what she feels and it's crazy! lol
Sooooo true!! I have never been able to verbalize it correctly for others to understand when they think I am unhappy with my life and I am telling them that I am not ......it's just lol well this
Yep that's about right.....getting lost in art and music, radio silence and soooo over anything basic. I'm definitely a 4.
I’m a 4 and a 7, I can relate with a lot of these, but I when I go through something I actually never tell people about it because I don’t want to burden people with my problems, so I just withdrawal from everyone and everything... and in relationships, I don’t really jump from person to person either. I’m actually usually the one who scolds my friends for jumping from guy to guy.
A great reminder that the enneagram is not a one size fits all. It's a tool for growth not who we are at the core!
Abbey Howe exactly!
I find self acceptance to be the best way to assist with this. This 4:envy can turn into a chase with external validation, always wanting. In some ways it's good as it creates drive for more. it can lead to a profound sense of failure at times. ENFP 4w3.
@@silentgrove7670 ayyy 4w3 enfp friends!!!
You're a 4 and a 7? Can you elaborate on that? I was mistyped as 7 by the tests because of my optimistic and enthusiastic nature (and my ADHD, let's be real, the tests don't accommodate neurodivergent traits very well...or function very well at all) but after reading some books it helped me feel confident that I'm a 4w3 with a strong 7-fix. I'm curious what your experience is! No one seems to see there are any similarities or overlap between 7 and 4, so knowing I'm not alone in my connection to them both is fascinating!
I’m a 4 and the envy thing really resonates with me! It makes sense as to why I literally can’t do social media. I always have this fear of FOMO and feel like everyone has a better life than me even though logically I know that’s not true. But I just can help the way I “feel” when I see everyone else’s life. I always feel lacking.
Imma 4 it’s ironic because I’m a very happy person. So the thing about not liking overly happy people throws me every time but I can kind of understand it because I do feel weird around people who smile really hard all the time and I just get the feeling that they are hiding some deep not-so-happy truth. My mom instilled gratefulness in me and I’m a devout Christian and so gratefulness has really been my saving grace as a four. I have learned that conforming a bit helps make friends and then I can show my crazy once we are friends, does t make me any less special to tone it down till appropriate 😁
I'm a 4 but as I've gotten older I've been able to tune down some of my negatives. But I'm in love with the Enneagram because it helps me accept, understand, and love myself and others. Thanks for the fun videos!
Tone down. Lol
You're so welcome Melanie! "gotten older" = "gotten healthier"
My daughter is SUCH a 4! I'm a 5, so I often struggle with her big feelings, but I love that she has such a unique perspective on things and always has creative ideas.
im a 4 and i feel like this is totally correct i am always wanting something that someone else has wether it’s based on looks, possessions, money, or wisdom.
I don’t approve of the accuracy >_>
How dare you be absolutely right
No 5 is very true my Enfp 4w5 friend. I cant get answer from her 5/6+ days sometimes. And yes she is related to sad things sends my sad photos... 😃 but also she can be overly happy. My wing is 4 and Im=critical, unique side.
Omg I didn’t think this would be as accurate as it was. I feel attacked 😂
Don't feel attacked!! 🤣 Not my intent. 💜
I had no idea until last week.. about this but dang..I'm annoying apparently lol....it's accurate except for the manipulation part but I may need to analyze that too 😶😏
Yup, I’m a four and I about fell over laughing at the way you presented this!! Keep
It up!
Thanks Daniel! ♥️
just 4 things: reading comments from other fours and feeling jealousy that so many people relate to you lmao
Love these videos. I'm a four and totally relate.
Now to go be by myself for a week after this small dose of human interaction...
Animal Jam SAME. I’m peopled out 😂😂😂
Yeah this was definitely bang on. Only exception is I keep most of this inside my head, and I dont care to maintain too many relationships all in all. But that is likely the 5 wing. This was perfect ! I especially resonated with number 5 6 and 7...I loved the happy people comment. I definitely need to work on not being an unhealthy type 4. Good job.
Thanks for commenting and watching, Chantel! I appreciate your thoughts about this. ❤️
You may look at me and think "7!"
but youd be wrong
im an SP 4w3 wing
the countertype to end all countertypes
😂 the beauty of humanity and the enneagram. no one fits in one box!!
@KingTojPisces my mind is blown....
I'm type 5 wing 4. So all of these is literally me.
I love melancholy and melodrama that people think I'm depressed. I enjoy sad songs or sad movies or sad dramas more (I also like horror and thriller genre because I can watch them being terrified and angry)
And I'm currently living far far away from my family but I only talk to them once a week or sometimes once a month. Not only from my family but also from everyone who knows.
The first one about Carl unfriending her and how she’ll never have friends again 🤣🤣. Recently whenever I get into a misunderstanding with a friend i immediately jump to “I’m not meant to people. I’m just gonna back off from EVERYONE “ it seems like the most logical answer at the time 🤣🤣
I don’t feel envy; I just wish I had a gift of my own. I mean... there are so many amazingly talented people out there who are like characters you’d read in a book, yet I feel like I’d be a background character no one notices in said book.
Welp, imma need to send this to literally everyone if they wanna be my friend cuz this was wonderfully light-hearted and fabulously accurate.
This is what I was thinking...the ones that I still have 😒😶
Im a 4 wing 5 and guilty as chargeddddd!!!!
hehehehehe
Same!!!!!
💕💕💕4w5💕💕💕
"can be radio-silent."
Me: *remembering that time when I didn't speak to the whole class for two weeks*
😶
I was laughing at the moment, when you mentioned “having hard times being to super positive people “😂😂😂it’s soooooo me. I thought it’s not normal 😝
My best friend is (possibly) a 7w6 and he is TOOOOOOOO optimistic and enthusiastic. whenever he messages me in a super energetic tone I just want to die... I guess type 4s are just weird.. lol
My response at 3:10 would be; “I hope the coffee table is ok.”
I don’t play into being manipulated.
you would be a good person to have around
also LOVE this response hahaha
I am a 4w5 and your videos on 4 are the best and most accurate I have found. Other videos I have found on other channels show type 4 spinning around in Disneyworld, everything is said in a dreamy and ridiculously dramatic way. Yes, I definitely have some of those qualities but absolutely not would I ever be in a public place dancing and spinning around while reciting poetry.
I am 4w5 too (also infp), and i do walk in circles while listening to music or thinking about things, but only when i am at home. I would never do that in public
This video is so funny, now I’m not that sad about my weird enneagram type😅
Yay! I'm so glad!
I’m an enneagram 4, and I remember back in 2018, when I was depressed, I went absolutely creative and did a bunch of stuff, and you know what? I felt better.
I laughed through the whole thing. 😂 I’m a 4 wing 3. Unbelievably funny. I will say I do like basic things though so I can’t relate to the last part. 🙈🤣
Thanks for watching and commenting, Erica! ♥️
Abbey, as a type four I love your approach to showing the less applealing side of us type four I have definitely done most if not all of these
I’m a 4, and I’ve watched this a couple of times just because it makes me feel so “seen.” 😅🤣 it’s so spot on!
Thanks Janopal!
I don’t understand, I’m a 4 and while I feel deep sadness for the entire world, and I love sad music, sad art, and anything that conveys a strong emotion, I’m actually one of THE most positive and happy people I know.
Abbey I love your humor in this! And your analysis is right on!
Thank you!! ♥️
Lol Disappear and go radio silent for days 😑😴😴😴
I will say that for myself when I try to just tell someone what I'm going through it's not to manipulate its just telling someone how I'm feeling and it feels like the world is ending then after having someone show empathy and understanding it really helps to get back on track. I don't think it's playing victim either when we just feel all the feels♥️
That Jon guy sounds like a real winner 😏
Jon Frisch I’m going to keep him around
I’m usually the only 4 in a room, but this comment section is filled with my PEOPLE❤️❤️
3:34 "have a hard time being around overly happy people" - YES! I like to call it "freudenschade," deriving misery from somebody else's joy. (I *think* I made that up...I dunno...it's supposed to be the inverse of schadenfreude).
What it is for me is that certain personality types seem to want you to be on the same emotional wavelength as them, so when they're all happy-happy-joy-joy, they expect you to do likewise and it's exhausting.
i don't think i'd ever intentionally be manipulative but that radio silent one,,,,, damn
Your video made me laugh! I am a enneagram four. I definitely do the radio silent for days and sometimes it can be weeks. ( Not something I am always proud of, its usually when I am being critical of myself and feel flawed. I was paying attention to whether or not I can be emotionally manipulative..but maybe. I hate thinking of myself like that though. As for dating many people and not being satisfied.... I have been married to my high school sweet heart for 13 years. I think its the hopeless romantic in me..though I can definitely struggle with the " Maybe there is better out there." It is incredibly annoying because I love my husband, but somehow I struggle with reality lol . It is interesting that I always hear people say that fours don't like to be around happy people. It depends I don't mind some optimism when I get really low. The only time happy people are annoying is when..they seem to have no off switch to their energy. Or they can't handle when I"m in my serious moods. I do smile and can be cheerful and happy though. I think its a stereotype that fours are only serious all of the time. Last thing hah... Your interpretation of how we listen to music cracked me up. I literally do that everyday. It is weird to me that most people don't really feel the music. I am always saying to my husband " Can't you just feel this.. the feelings..the mood?" lol. Songs with the feels are my favorite. Its hard to describe what music feels like when we get really into it. My husband actually described it in sort of a good way. He was looking at me weird one day as I was doing my usual wake up with music and dance like a weirdo. I asked him " What do you think it feels like when I listen to music." Probably a weird question but I wanted to hear his interpretation or perception of my being in his reality. I guess I kind of wanted to reflect on his world. He said " I think the way you get happy and get deep into your music is like when I am enjoying figuring out and unfolding a video game." It was a weird perception to me, but I valued it. I think he meant , how people feel when they are passionate and fully engulfed into the things they love . that feeling they get. That feeling of the world stops and your'e not aware of many things anymore. All you feel, hear , and see is passion. That probably sounds ridiculous. Anyway sorry for the long message. I really enjoyed your video. I always appreciate seeing the world through someone else's perception. Thanks for sharing.
It doesn't sound ridiculous at all! Hearing other people's (and especially your loved ones) perceptions of you can be incredibly enlightening. I love hearing how music affects your daily life in such an impactful way. As I said in the video, my boyfriend is a 4 and I definitely took inspiration from him for the music section. He feels music so deeply and really values the way artists and songs can affect your mood and your day. I'm curious to know what your favorite wake up song is! Thanks for the awesome comment and for watching my video. I really appreciate it! ❤️
@@AbbeyHowe Thank you for understanding ❤️. It definitely can be enlightening. As for my favorite wake up song..hmm it can change depending on my mood. Right now I enjoy Lana Del Rey the song the greatest . It can be a plethora of different genre's. I even love listening to musical songs and pretending I'm in a play , movie , or music video haha. Especially when listening to songs from La La Land and The Greatest Showmen ☺️..two of my favorite movies. Does your boyfriend listen to one ideal song or does it change with his mood? Also does he to act like a nerd singing or fantasizing like he's putting on a show? 🤣. I love that you're compassionate and try to understand each type despite flaws.
Thanks for sharing
this is the 2nd of your type 4 videos i've watched, and the accuracy feels like being hit by a bus (of facts.) the withdrawn coping style, the "i just have a lot of feelings." it's like you can read my mind o.O
Lol im a 4, so true but this is very unhealthy to average 4s. We have lots of inner work to do 😂. That said this girl is a total 6. They talk, think fast and run on anxiety. Lets see a video on them too 😂😂 most common enneagram types on the planet.
I didn't know that! 6 is the most common type?
@@AbbeyHowe yup! 6 is the most common, followed by 9 and 3. The rarest are 1, 4, and 8! The order of the last three vary depending on the study but it's fairly consistent that 6s are by far the most common and typically 4s and 1s the least common.
My ISTJ mother is a 6w5 so/sp in Ennargram but she is actualy always on the healthy spectrum and her third Fi fuction is very well developed. Because of this as a INFP with Ennargram type 4w5 sp I can connect her to a deeper level then most of the other ISTJ.
@@quinintheclouds Those studies are small sample size, theyre highly inaccurate
@@lunewinter4566 good point! I should've mentioned. There's very little research; that's just what info I've gathered across the studies that have happened, so not definitive by ANY means. Plus it's good to note the type of people who would be drawn to partaking in those studies in the first place and whether that skews the types participating.
Being a four is rough when you’re around happy go lucky 7s and 2s. The high energy and the excitement over every gleeful thing. I do tune out hard. I’ll be over here when you guys decide to bring it back down.
I wonder why we can explore big dark emotions but big bright emotions send us running for the hills.
Omg this was hysterical... and... relatable 😬🤦🏻♀️
Thanks for watching, Stephanie!! 💜
This is so relatable!!!! Every single one of them. Except when it comes to me and coffee. I always think my coffee is more superior to the other person's.
Thanks for making amazing enneagram content, I am a 4 and everything is so true.
ben Jones thanks Ben!! ♥️ I really appreciate the comment. Go 4’s!
oh good golly IT ME lololol. tbh I lost it at 0:05. But really, this is great and I need to send this to my hubby so he can help call out these quirks when I do them and don't even realize it
I just have so many feelings right now! Thanks for watching Mama!
Very funny observations. And the host is quite charming! Keep it up!
Thanks Christopher!
I'm four and I realized how melancholy am I.... oftentimes I imagine my life as a movie scene 😂 but I love how "melancholy" can also means "have a deep feeling"
Rhetorical Q1: Who hasn't said, "Just close your eyes and listen to this..." after discovering some great 'ambient space music tracks'? But I guess the act of discovering some great 'ambient space music tracks' for the purpose of tuning out the whole wide world is the kinda thing a four would do. LIMH! (Laughing In My Head!) Reminding my seven wife of the first time I said that to her made her LOL, though.
Okay. I'm clearly a four and I'm good with that.
Q2: Do you really answer all the comments?!?
Paul, thanks for your rhetorical musings, they made me LIMH! And I do try to answer all comments though sometimes it takes me a while to get to them ... I prioritized yours because it made me smile! I'm hoping that the comments sections of these Enneagram videos can be a place where people discuss and learn from each other!
I’m a type four and oh my I had a huge smile watching this. Was spot on!Great video. Bravo loved it!!
I'm so glad Eric! Thanks for the support!
I feel called out af 😂
hehehehe
the victim thing is so true for me. in every argument i also make it seem like i’m the victim weather or not i want to
I'm not sure if I've ever met a healthy E4 yet, since all the other ones who are closest to me have always been immature or have a lack of self-awareness lol
#3,4, and 6 makes it very difficult for me to get along with them in the long term and I'm the one who winds up fading out from the friendship because of it...
Aside from that though, I highly value their emotional authenticity and hope they could see themselves the way others who admire them do!
Interesting... I hope that fours see themselves the way others that admire them do as well!
I relate to all of these, especially the going “silent” for a few day one, I do like happy people though, and I enjoy being around them. The only thing is once I consciously realize that the person is overly happy I get annoyed by every action they take. If this happens to you best thing to do is just ignore it while u can because they aren’t really doing anything wrong, it’s just a perception miscommunication.
I'm a four and love everything pumpkin spice and yes... My sister is annoyingly a overly happy person
LOVE HEARING THAT. pumpkin spice is the bomb. 🎃
Im an infp and a type 4. Its strange how the enneagram test made me feel bad about myself but the personality test made me feel good about my self
Just found you! You are HILARIOUS!
Thank you!! That means so much ♥️
The part about being bothered by overly happy people really really resonated lol just seems so in genuine to me haha
Omg I am dying. This is exactly me! Thank you!
Thank YOU, Erin! ♥️
Definitely relate to the not liking mainstream things and the part about always moving on from one “soulmate” to another haha
I am a 4, and 6 out of 7 of these are accurate lol
Thanks for watching and commenting, Abby! (We are name twins!! Although I spell mine with an "e"!)
I do Number 5 a lot. Ironically when it's about Christmas my emotions go to overly happy and joyful and find the beauty of the season in the holiday.
Yea, it mostly resonated with me, except for the "radio silence" item. That's not me. I crave approval and attention too much to do that. I have come to be grateful to be a 4, especially in my work when it's good to have (in Kathryn Grant's phrase) "emotional muscle". I am able to "go there" emotionally with people when others are not.
That's such an amazing quality of Enneagram Fours!
I go radio silent 😬. 4w5. Maybe you’re a 4w3?
I don't do the radio silence thing either. Glad I'm not the only one! I was beginning to get envious of the depth of those radio silent fours! Haha.
Ohmygawwwwwwd that is me. And I’m sorry. Not the envy part, exactly (BECAUSE I’M NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE): I get envious of people actualizing themselves, or being easygoing, having easy friendships, etc. This is so helpful. I have felt ashamed about myself (evidently, a characteristic of fours?!) and feel like there are many more like me.
all these are true I love it so mcuh
Thanks for watching and commenting!!
I’m laughing at myself right now. Love the scenarios you depicted and the interactions a 4 often has with other types.
I’m a 4, and this is extremely accurate!
Thanks for watching and commenting, Loni! 💜
the part where the 4 goes into hiding, ha! nailed it. not necessarily under the covers but i am totally guilty of going radio silent for days while i work whatever stuff out in my head. i feel seen, which is of course my favorite thing :)
I can relate to all of this haha thanks for the laugh at myself.
Thanks for watching and commenting, Shannon! ♥️
😂 I was laughing at myself watching this. But as a 4w5, the only one I'm envious of is myself - call it potential for self-improvement 😳