Thank you so much for allowing yourself to be “self-indulgent” for our benefit. It is precisely your honest vulnerable self-reflection that makes these videos so powerful.
Harry you are sharing your insight into to your own personal journey with PDA. How can that be seen as self indulgent? It is your journey!! I really hope that comment hasn't affected you but I suspect it might. Your youtube videos have been shared on the Adult PDA Support Network on Facebook. I know lots of people were saying how great it would be for you to join. So I am putting it out there!! Thank you for another great video.
yes, totally agree with all this, and yes it would be fab to have Harry in the group. I've been tempted to do films on living with asd/depression (&the PDA aspects) myself but am not remotely comfortable on film (without a full makeover and probably plastic surgery hahaha) so have utmost respect and admiration for what Harry is doing! So great to see someone mostly on my wavelength doing this. Can't watch them all at once as it stresses my head but will be watching more. To do with this video more specifically; HATE the "what do you do" question with a passion... society is skewed and about the wrong things in my opinion.
I think what you are doing is so helpful, honest and brave, my almost 9 year old daughter was diagnosed last year and we withdraw her from school as she wasn't coping, now have EHCP and academics is not our priority. she is high functioning and most of what you say I can really relate to. our daughter masked in school but we fought the system and now have an EHCP with provision for theaputic input. Education is a low priority unless it's something she wants in the future. ty for your videos. keep going
Thank you so much for pointing out about not forcing a child to go to school. I've been told to "manhandle" my son onto the school bus to force him to school, but I refuse. I much prefer him to go happily and on his terms.
Samantha Raaphorst me too , i was encouraged to manhandle my son to get him into school. he is as big as me and i felt at risk. so difficult to understand, live with and support in a positive way. These videos make so much sense.
I'm 25 and only just discovering this fits me extremely well. Thank you.. This answers SO many questions I've had about my life. Please keep this up you are helping people. I'll continue to watch you as I go on this journey of self discovery.
hello Harry. I was "new" to PDA a couple of years ago. The inverted commas are because I believe it has always been part of who I am. I have 4 kids (8-22) who have always been home educated. I quickly found my way to autonomous parenting and unconditional parenting. In hind sight my own PDA was influencing my parenting decisions and I weathered some criticism from friends and family for them. You are right that we need to let them take the lead and be who they are because they will anyway. My decision was to prioritise our relationship over everything else. I certainly do not regret that decision but it means the world to hear my choices being vindicated in your videos. Thank you.
I heard your talk with HD Tudor and enjoyed it very much .. that prompted me to go to you channel and now I am watching all your videos. As far as criticism……. Remember it the internet there will be all manner of criticism… it’s the nature of of the platform. Don’t apologize for your behavior . This is your platform. You do you. Your an intelligent and very perceptive man. Thanks for sharing yourself so personally. I greatly admire you.
I appreciate the advice but goodness me, this was over 5 years ago. I've changed a lot since then. These days I don't give a shit about what people say about me 🤣 Thanks though.
Please don't change the way you record your very informative videos - just be you! You're not a puppet or an educator so please don't feel bad when people criticise or request stupid things. You're videos are so you - yet informative! My 13 year old is SO PDA but now I get him - I wouldn't change him for the world! You have been and are a refreshing voice for so many parents who are stuck and unbelieved in a system that is failing us badly! Unsupported, Unbelieved, it really has sent my mental health plummeting over the years, not to mention the negative impact it has had on my son. I understand that my son has to control me, it keeps his anxiety levels stable - and so he tends to keep a civil tongue! It's difficult and very complicated for each and every individual (and their parents) Love watching your videos - You are truly inspirational xx
Thanks so much for your video’s I love your honesty. I get your slowing yourself down a lot to be understood by the non neurotypical viewers. Your being you has helped me with my son and with myself. Blessings your amazing x
I had to homeschool my son for so many reason. One being my inability to tolerate teachers and school authorities telling me what to do as if they owned me and my son and threatening us if we didn't do as they said. Another is that helping him with his homework was absolute torture for both of us. For most of his homeschooling he worked on the computer based curriculums and through workbooks. He did much better with the computer curriculum than workbooks because he could work much more quickly and didn't have to struggle with writing. It was still immensely stressful trying to get him through school successfully, but much less stressfull than worrying about how he was being treated in school and worrying about my reaction to helping him with his homework.
these videos are really helpful it's amazing to hear from someone with pda who's older (as is has experienced jobs and stuff) one of my biggest fears is that my pda will get in the way of getting jobs when im older these videos really help thank you
I think your videos are perfect, not self-indulgent at all. And they don't need any flashy video editing. They are very pure and straightforward which is kind of refreshing. I haven't gotten through your whole series yet, so maybe you've addressed this, but have you looked at the unschooling movement? Unschooling seems like it would be a much better fit for a PDA child rather than traditional schooling. And perhaps encouraging them or giving them the resources to figure out some sort of self-employment type of situation, owning their own business? I believe I am PDA although I do not have a formal diagnosis, But I also struggled with authority figures, though my response was usually more to suck up or "fawn" rather than fight or flight, and try to take control of the situation by doing what they told me, but in my own way and in my own time. I became quite a conflicted, angry, depressed little people-pleaser lol. Mostly because I could not just not do whatever they said, that was not an option in my family. I could only resist to a point without punishment, which made me very anxious and self-loathing. In my working life, every job I have ever had I hated desperately within just a few months. The only thing I have ever stuck within actually enjoyed has been owning my own business, and it's in my area of interest is well, so it's more like I am being paid to do things I would be doing anyway, even if I wasn't being paid. I am an artist, and i like kids, and I get paid to go to kids parties and do face painting and also do balloon art. I have also added event planning which is stressful. But I also enjoy it a lot. I love being my own boss and being able to take control of the situation, of planning an event, and make my vision come to life. And have clients gush about how amazing it is to them, and have them pay me well for this, LOL. So I'm thinking if I have a PDA child, unschooling plus entrepreunership may be a better path for them?
I hope you will do a video on what to do when a child with PDA has a meltdown. What can you say? How can you diffuse the situation? Is there anyway to stop them from throwing things and hitting? Great job on the videos!
Maybe I'm wildly off base as to how most people see it, but as a fellow PDA-er, I don't see it as self indulgent, but whatever. It's so interesting to watch these, because it's the first time I've ever seen anyone express my experience with life. I'm 31, and I've spent my entire life being told I'm broken and that there's something wrong with me, and been handed all these awful labels that don't fit, and finally I'm starting to understand how to live a more functional life when I'm disabled and retired. Never thought I'd be understood.
That comment annoyed 😒 me , encouraging a child to go to school 🏫 . Reverse psychology never worked on Harley never ever . Harley learns his own way , total school refusal but never missed a day of college. I also think PDA is hereditary. I found it very fear based with my son who’s 23 , sadly there was no funding to allow local camhs to diagnose this . Did you go privately?
OMG, I got told it was "self-indulgent" for talking about my autism on social media. Upon which I came to see the individuals who make that remark are completely ignorant as to what living with a hidden disability entails. I mean, why can't I just post funny memes and feel good jokes instead...
I can so totally relate to this video Harry - thank you so much for speaking out like this. I really would have liked to have heard this 20 years ago when first starting out in the workplace.
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Thank you so much for allowing yourself to be “self-indulgent” for our benefit. It is precisely your honest vulnerable self-reflection that makes these videos so powerful.
Harry you are sharing your insight into to your own personal journey with PDA. How can that be seen as self indulgent? It is your journey!!
I really hope that comment hasn't affected you but I suspect it might.
Your youtube videos have been shared on the Adult PDA Support Network on Facebook. I know lots of people were saying how great it would be for you to join. So I am putting it out there!!
Thank you for another great video.
yes, totally agree with all this, and yes it would be fab to have Harry in the group. I've been tempted to do films on living with asd/depression (&the PDA aspects) myself but am not remotely comfortable on film (without a full makeover and probably plastic surgery hahaha) so have utmost respect and admiration for what Harry is doing! So great to see someone mostly on my wavelength doing this. Can't watch them all at once as it stresses my head but will be watching more.
To do with this video more specifically; HATE the "what do you do" question with a passion... society is skewed and about the wrong things in my opinion.
I think what you are doing is so helpful, honest and brave, my almost 9 year old daughter was diagnosed last year and we withdraw her from school as she wasn't coping, now have EHCP and academics is not our priority. she is high functioning and most of what you say I can really relate to. our daughter masked in school but we fought the system and now have an EHCP with provision for theaputic input. Education is a low priority unless it's something she wants in the future. ty for your videos. keep going
Cassandra Davies my thoughts exactly!
Thank you so much for pointing out about not forcing a child to go to school. I've been told to "manhandle" my son onto the school bus to force him to school, but I refuse. I much prefer him to go happily and on his terms.
Samantha Raaphorst
me too , i was encouraged to manhandle my son to get him into school. he is as big as me and i felt at risk. so difficult to understand, live with and support in a positive way. These videos make so much sense.
I'm 25 and only just discovering this fits me extremely well. Thank you.. This answers SO many questions I've had about my life. Please keep this up you are helping people. I'll continue to watch you as I go on this journey of self discovery.
I've just discovered you today. My neurodivergent, unschooling heart is so happy and appreciative!
hello Harry. I was "new" to PDA a couple of years ago. The inverted commas are because I believe it has always been part of who I am. I have 4 kids (8-22) who have always been home educated. I quickly found my way to autonomous parenting and unconditional parenting. In hind sight my own PDA was influencing my parenting decisions and I weathered some criticism from friends and family for them. You are right that we need to let them take the lead and be who they are because they will anyway. My decision was to prioritise our relationship over everything else. I certainly do not regret that decision but it means the world to hear my choices being vindicated in your videos. Thank you.
I heard your talk with HD Tudor and enjoyed it very much .. that prompted me to go to you channel and now I am watching all your videos. As far as criticism……. Remember it the internet there will be all manner of criticism… it’s the nature of of the platform. Don’t apologize for your behavior . This is your platform. You do you. Your an intelligent and very perceptive man. Thanks for sharing yourself so personally. I greatly admire you.
I appreciate the advice but goodness me, this was over 5 years ago. I've changed a lot since then. These days I don't give a shit about what people say about me 🤣 Thanks though.
Please don't change the way you record your very informative videos - just be you! You're not a puppet or an educator so please don't feel bad when people criticise or request stupid things. You're videos are so you - yet informative! My 13 year old is SO PDA but now I get him - I wouldn't change him for the world! You have been and are a refreshing voice for so many parents who are stuck and unbelieved in a system that is failing us badly! Unsupported, Unbelieved, it really has sent my mental health plummeting over the years, not to mention the negative impact it has had on my son.
I understand that my son has to control me, it keeps his anxiety levels stable - and so he tends to keep a civil tongue! It's difficult and very complicated for each and every individual (and their parents)
Love watching your videos - You are truly inspirational xx
Thank you this is really great to hear your view, my daughter has PDA and I so learn from you. Keep it up
Thanks so much for your video’s I love your honesty. I get your slowing yourself down a lot to be understood by the non neurotypical viewers. Your being you has helped me with my son and with myself. Blessings your amazing x
I had to homeschool my son for so many reason. One being my inability to tolerate teachers and school authorities telling me what to do as if they owned me and my son and threatening us if we didn't do as they said. Another is that helping him with his homework was absolute torture for both of us. For most of his homeschooling he worked on the computer based curriculums and through workbooks. He did much better with the computer curriculum than workbooks because he could work much more quickly and didn't have to struggle with writing. It was still immensely stressful trying to get him through school successfully, but much less stressfull than worrying about how he was being treated in school and worrying about my reaction to helping him with his homework.
I did not feel that your first video was self-indulgent at all. It was perfect, and it's the reason why I'm watching more of your videos! 🙂
these videos are really helpful it's amazing to hear from someone with pda who's older (as is has experienced jobs and stuff) one of my biggest fears is that my pda will get in the way of getting jobs when im older these videos really help thank you
I think your videos are perfect, not self-indulgent at all. And they don't need any flashy video editing. They are very pure and straightforward which is kind of refreshing. I haven't gotten through your whole series yet, so maybe you've addressed this, but have you looked at the unschooling movement? Unschooling seems like it would be a much better fit for a PDA child rather than traditional schooling. And perhaps encouraging them or giving them the resources to figure out some sort of self-employment type of situation, owning their own business? I believe I am PDA although I do not have a formal diagnosis, But I also struggled with authority figures, though my response was usually more to suck up or "fawn" rather than fight or flight, and try to take control of the situation by doing what they told me, but in my own way and in my own time. I became quite a conflicted, angry, depressed little people-pleaser lol. Mostly because I could not just not do whatever they said, that was not an option in my family. I could only resist to a point without punishment, which made me very anxious and self-loathing. In my working life, every job I have ever had I hated desperately within just a few months. The only thing I have ever stuck within actually enjoyed has been owning my own business, and it's in my area of interest is well, so it's more like I am being paid to do things I would be doing anyway, even if I wasn't being paid. I am an artist, and i like kids, and I get paid to go to kids parties and do face painting and also do balloon art. I have also added event planning which is stressful. But I also enjoy it a lot. I love being my own boss and being able to take control of the situation, of planning an event, and make my vision come to life. And have clients gush about how amazing it is to them, and have them pay me well for this, LOL. So I'm thinking if I have a PDA child, unschooling plus entrepreunership may be a better path for them?
Thank you for being self indulgent! I'm not PDA and am trying desperately to understand my son.
I hope you will do a video on what to do when a child with PDA has a meltdown. What can you say? How can you diffuse the situation? Is there anyway to stop them from throwing things and hitting? Great job on the videos!
Maybe I'm wildly off base as to how most people see it, but as a fellow PDA-er, I don't see it as self indulgent, but whatever.
It's so interesting to watch these, because it's the first time I've ever seen anyone express my experience with life. I'm 31, and I've spent my entire life being told I'm broken and that there's something wrong with me, and been handed all these awful labels that don't fit, and finally I'm starting to understand how to live a more functional life when I'm disabled and retired. Never thought I'd be understood.
J Zia thank you for sharing :)
Exactly!
My 17 yr old says why can’t she just “be” rather than have to “do” what society wants. I can see how PDAs are changing the systems
Spot on logic 🤙
So, how DO you support yourself?
None of your business.
True enough. I'm a curious person. Just wondering , that's all.
whats your view on medication for PDA
GRIZZMATE GRIZZ I actually have a video where I briefly talk about medication! Perhaps I should do a longer one :)
Perhaps:)
That comment annoyed 😒 me , encouraging a child to go to school 🏫 .
Reverse psychology never worked on Harley never ever .
Harley learns his own way , total school refusal but never missed a day of college.
I also think PDA is hereditary.
I found it very fear based with my son who’s 23 , sadly there was no funding to allow local camhs to diagnose this .
Did you go privately?
OMG, I got told it was "self-indulgent" for talking about my autism on social media. Upon which I came to see the individuals who make that remark are completely ignorant as to what living with a hidden disability entails. I mean, why can't I just post funny memes and feel good jokes instead...
I can so totally relate to this video Harry - thank you so much for speaking out like this. I really would have liked to have heard this 20 years ago when first starting out in the workplace.
LiNK to your musiC ?
"perhaps a little self-indulgent" -- just lol
You are so cutee