Your poem is excellent, Very beautiful its melancholy tone. It has a cadence use of words I don't presently have. I have written a poem in response. It's minimalistic, contains at least two themes and I think a bit clunky especially the cabbages section near the end. What I am trying to do is expressed ideas that have helped me and might help you. I hope it doesn't come across as too preachy but I believe in these concepts because they have helped me. Our words change our worlds ======================= I am Canada in winter. You are Australia in summer. We live in our own worlds using our own words. Me in my world with my own words, And you in your world with your own words. People are indifferent. They live their lives thinking mostly of their own lives, when they're on the streets or in shopping malls. Words matter. Words connect. Words are tools to solve our problems. They heal. Your words have touched me. I see some of myself in you. I want to help you. I feel a feeling, within my world, within my moods within my thoughts, composed of words, and I react. Feelings, environment, moods, thoughts and words are all connected. These things set us free. I feel the pounding of my heart, The quickness of my breath. The loss of control. These things are not to be feared. I know because the butterflies in my stomach tell me so. These feelings are the stuff of life. They tell me I am alive. These things I fear, my pounding heart and heavy breathing pump oxygen into my brain, giving birth to new words, ideas, questions and answers that will set me free. "What happened today that caused my pain?" "What was I thinking to cause my mood to change?" "What can I do or think to adjust my breathing and pounding heart?" Our survival depends upon the answers to the questions we ask. Words help us to see the source of our pain and heal. Because I am a Canadian in winter and you are a Australian in summer and your words have connected me to you. I want to you tell something. I have spent the first forty-six years living in fear of others, uncomfortable in my own skin. I was set free when someone told me. "You have nothing to fear from people." "You live in your world and they live in their world, does it really matter what they think?" "Most people are indifferent to others living in their own worlds." Perhaps the 6'2" bearded guy with his grim face, in the vegetable aisle, of the shopping centre that you'll be going to tomorrow, is thinking of cabbages for the soup and the dinner he will enjoy with his family to allow him to forget a bad day at the office. And I will be hoping you'll be thinking about your pounding heart, your heavy breath, a loss of control, and the butterflies in your stomach. Sometimes people are right to experience these feelings. They happen at times of danger. But they also happen at the times of greatest joy like the times of love at first sight. ============================================== Many of the ideas contained in the poem express those in Cognitive Behavioural therapy. We can change the way we think by analyzing how we think. Environment, mood, thoughts, behaviour and feelings are all interrelated. Often we can only see the most frightening thing: the feelings. Being able to analyze the whole picture brings new insights about the source of these feelings: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy I recommend the book "Mind over Mood". It describes the CBT process which can help define which thoughts are grounded in reality as well as which thoughts we don't have to worry about. It should be somewhere between $20-$25 Australian. www.mindovermood.com/
Your poem is excellent, Very beautiful its melancholy tone. It has a cadence use of words I don't presently have. I have written a poem in response. It's minimalistic, contains at least two themes and I think a bit clunky especially the cabbages section near the end. What I am trying to do is expressed ideas that have helped me and might help you. I hope it doesn't come across as too preachy but I believe in these concepts because they have helped me.
Our words change our worlds
=======================
I am Canada in winter.
You are Australia in summer.
We live in our own worlds using our own words.
Me in my world with my own words,
And you in your world with your own words.
People are indifferent.
They live their lives thinking mostly of their own lives,
when they're on the streets or in shopping malls.
Words matter.
Words connect.
Words are tools to solve our problems.
They heal.
Your words have touched me.
I see some of myself in you.
I want to help you.
I feel a feeling,
within my world,
within my moods
within my thoughts,
composed of words,
and I react.
Feelings, environment, moods, thoughts and words are all connected.
These things set us free.
I feel the pounding of my heart,
The quickness of my breath.
The loss of control.
These things are not to be feared.
I know because the butterflies in my stomach tell me so.
These feelings are the stuff of life.
They tell me I am alive.
These things I fear,
my pounding heart and heavy breathing
pump oxygen into my brain,
giving birth to new words, ideas, questions and answers
that will set me free.
"What happened today that caused my pain?"
"What was I thinking to cause my mood to change?"
"What can I do or think to adjust my breathing and pounding heart?"
Our survival depends upon
the answers to the questions we ask.
Words help us to see the source of our pain
and heal.
Because I am a Canadian in winter
and you are a Australian in summer
and your words have connected me to you.
I want to you tell something.
I have spent the first forty-six years living in fear of others,
uncomfortable in my own skin.
I was set free when someone told me.
"You have nothing to fear from people."
"You live in your world and they live in their world,
does it really matter what they think?"
"Most people are indifferent to others
living in their own worlds."
Perhaps the 6'2" bearded guy
with his grim face,
in the vegetable aisle,
of the shopping centre that you'll be going to tomorrow,
is thinking of cabbages for the soup
and the dinner he will enjoy with his family
to allow him to forget
a bad day at the office.
And I will be hoping you'll be thinking about
your pounding heart,
your heavy breath,
a loss of control,
and the butterflies in your stomach.
Sometimes people are right to experience these feelings.
They happen at times of danger.
But they also happen at the times of greatest joy
like the times of love at first sight.
==============================================
Many of the ideas contained in the poem express those in Cognitive Behavioural therapy. We can change the way we think by analyzing how we think.
Environment, mood, thoughts, behaviour and feelings are all interrelated. Often we can only see the most frightening thing: the feelings. Being able to analyze the whole picture brings new insights about the source of these feelings:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
I recommend the book "Mind over Mood". It describes the CBT process which can help define which thoughts are grounded in reality as well as which thoughts we don't have to worry about. It should be somewhere between $20-$25 Australian.
www.mindovermood.com/