Engage in church ministry groups. You will find people with common interests, values and virtues. Not that those factors automatically make compatible friendships but it narrows it down. God bless
There is a difference between morality and theology. One can be righteous and upright but not share your theology, and at the same time plenty who share your theology may behave in an awful manner.
I'd say The Daily Wire is a good example of this. Ben Shapiro the Orthodox Jew, Andrew Klaven and Jeremy Boring are Protestant, while Matt Walsh and Michael Knowles are Catholics. 🙂
If your friends drag you down into their vices or lead you to sin, obviously you should avoid them or cut them off. But the claim that you should strictly cut off any non-catholic friend is something else entirely, and it's also a claim swiftly uttered by people who already find themselves well-situated within a community of believers. In my case, being exclusively friends with Catholics only would mean I wouldn't have any friends at all since there simply are no catholics in my hometown. It's a handful of catholics that I've met on social media but most of them are wannabe trads who spend too much time on the internet (I admit to being guilty of that myself) - God bless them, but social interactions on Instagram and Twitter are always tainted by culture war issues, moral outrage, trad daydreams of a "Catholic Golden Age", inner-catholic disputes and arguments, and I'm trying to get away from all of that. There are a couple of catholics where I live now but there's no one I would call a friend or who I'd even want to be friends with. Plus, cutting off friends also prevents evangelization from happening because in my case, there's literally no other catholic around, so if I want my friends to go to Heaven, I have to put in the effort and evangelize them myself. Selectiveness for me isn't the issue, the question is when to be selective.
This. All of this is exactly how I feel and what I experience. The only difference is I live in a big liberal city, not a town. So far, I've met ONE guy who takes tha faith as seriously as I do, and follow what's even going on in the church. But he has a wife and child and a full-time job that's a different schedule than mine. We really only talk over text about faith related matters. If that were my only friendship, then I would be severely depressed. My best friend since high school is an agnostic (I didn't really revert until my early to mid-20s), but also very supportive about my faith, and we've had conversations about a lot of things pertaining to it. He also doesn't live a degenerate lifestyle or anything; married, has a baby on the way, has a great job and a nice house, etc. The worst thing about him is that he may play video games too much when his wife is at work, and he smokes marijuana (which is legal for recreational use in NJ, where he lives). Both things I'm not quite sure are even mortal sins; lots of mixed opinions. As you said, being friends with people, living your best Christian life (for them to observe), and praying for them is the best way. I really don't see how one could evangelize any other way... Even Jesus hung out with full-on dengerates, and He told them how their lifestyles were wrong and showed them a better way.
That's pretty close to my experience, and I do maintain friendships with people of good will. The Catholics I did encounter were derisive of other Catholics so it was absolutely demoralizing. I find some people of good will in volunteer associations, especially with the poor. I tried so long to find a Catholic friend that I accept it as God's will that I do not have one. My mom was a convert from Judaism; she lost her entire family and culture. Sometimes it's a narrow path.
I think this video put a sensitive topic across with such humility. As a catholic christian convert, Christianity gave me the tools to move forward in life by the grace of discernment, the friends I hung with were coked up every weekend, adulterous, megalomaniacs, haters of all religion and God and while I still love these guys I had to move away as there behaviour had corruptible influences on me, as I became to Love Jesus more and more each day, my friends would drift further away, why, because I refused to indulge in that sinful life and yet, if they find themselves some day seeing the error of their ways and seek help or guidance , I’ll be the first at their door, to me that’s love I found through Christ. .
I posted about a person that was mocking and ridiculing my Catholic faith and that I had let that friendship go. Someone said “I’m glad I’m not your friend”. That person came over about a decade ago with a six pack of beer and when he finished it off without me bringing up religion and knowing I’m Catholic became visible angry shouting about what he hated about the Catholic Church. There is no reason to be around that kind of hatred and I don’t apologize for it because what I did wasn’t wrong. I’m 65 and in my mid to late 20’s I took a look at all of my friendships. I realized that I was the one that initiated everything with everyone. I made the phone calls, and I drove over to visit people and not a single person reciprocated. I decided to see if I mattered to any of them and stopped calling and visiting and didn’t hear from any of them again. I have not sought friendship in the last 40 years. I engage in solitary activities. I was married for 11 years and divorced for 20 and I won’t commit adultery so I haven’t sought female companionship in 20 years and won’t again. I am polite, I smile when I encounter people, and I ask them about themselves and try to give and help where I can. I pray a lot, and I spend a lot of time in front of the tabernacle but I live as a hermit based on my experience with people in the past. When you are my age you are invisible to people. People just don’t care about the elderly. I realize that the comments sections of videos and social media are occasions of Sin for me because it’s too easy for me to respond in anger so I am going to once again retreat in solitude. To the person who said ”I’m glad I’m not your friend,” I hear you and I walked into solitude 40 years ago because of people like you.
I'm almost 38, and much of your story sounds familiar to me. Solitude can be good for spiritual growth, but loneliness is difficult. Know of my prayers for you. - A friend in Christ.
@@erock5b Thanks for the prayers. I am not lonely and haven't been for quite some time. I spend a lot of time in prayer and try to receive the Eucharist every day. I am actually at peace. When I realized that I was the only one putting effort into friendships I decided to see if I stopped would they contact me but that wasn't the case so I let it be what it was and no longer pursued friendships. I have acquaintances I talk to but don't get together with anyone. I asked my Priest about this and told him I don't have a car and no way to get anywhere to serve the poor, but I spend several hours a day praying for people and he said that is a much-needed way of serving God. I am not averse to friendship but much prefer solitude now. Since I am divorced I won't commit adultery so I haven't been in a relationship for quite some time and won't ever pursue one again.
I was close friends with a pot-smoking bro who was into all kinds of eastern mysticism and new age stuff. We had great discussions, sometimes while he was high. He was initiated into the Catholic Church this past Easter and I was his sponsor.
I don’t think I was wise enough to listen to advice like this in my teen and early adult years, but I sure wish I would have. Great thoughts, Brian, as always, I really appreciate both the constructive thoughts, and the articulate way in which you convey them. God bless.
I never ask my friends or partners to share my faith, but I do ask them to respect it. If it comes down to having to make a choice between them or Christ, there's no way they're going to win.
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND If they don't respect how important my faith is to me, they don't respect me. I'm too old and life is too short to have people like that in my life.
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND If I knew someone who believed in a giant hot dog gid, and he asked that I don't mick him for it politely, I would say sure np, I think that idea is stupid but I'm fine being polite to you. It's called decency. Would you prefer we go back to the days of killing each other?
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND 1. There is a lot of philosophical ground for Christianity and a very rich history and traditions (...and admitedly, for most of the modern big religions), it's not the same as any ridiculous thing that just comes out to your mind. 2. If you want to befriend someone, you shouldn't treat them condescendingly.
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND They technically don't have to respect it. Just don't expect friendships to remain. If someone was mocking your father on a daily or frequent basis, I think most people would struggle to maintain friendship. I would argue, that I perhaps may initially be shocked or disrespectful, but if they legitimately believed it or had some sort of reasons for why they believed, I would definitely take a more respectful approach while still asking questions.
That’s tough. My two cents, for whatever it’s worth… Like in the Safety PSA’s on airplanes, put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help others. Make sure you’re in a good place spiritually before spending too much time with people who might lead you astray. But I obviously don’t know the particulars in your situation, I have absolutely no business trying to give you solid advice. Take my thoughts or leave them. :-)
@@MikePasqqsaPekiM Thank you for your concern. I’m not worried about them leading me astray. They’ve all left the faith we grew up in or become “universalist” Catholics and I’ve gone back to the Latin Mass and all the pre Vatican II teachings that go along with that. It’s just hard not to feel free to share what is most important in my life. It’s like there’s a huge gulf between us and it’s sad. Yet we are family.
@@ruthmaryrose Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. With God’s grace, who knows? Maybe you’ll get to spend a happy eternity sharing and catching up in the Light of Christ that will never fade 🙏
Brian, you touched on a VERY important point - we haven't examined what we mean by "friendship". And when anyone says 'you cannot be friends with anyone who does not share your beliefs', we may imagine that amnity should turn to emnity against those who then become 'the others'. NO. We can be warm, gentle, caring and considerate of co-workers, acquaintances, and others with whom we have shared interests, in the spirit of Agape...We can have a moderate level of involvement (popularly called "friendships" these days), without spending loads of time and close personal involvement with them, and without lessening our commitments to those with whom we DO share our beliefs and commitments (true and trustworthy friends). We need to develop a vocabulary and sensibility for the vast middle ground, between 'I don't know them/associate with them' and 'they are true and deep friends and have my highest commitment of trust'.
When I was at university, the vast majority of my classmates were atheists, so a lot of my friends were Muslim. In the context, we actually had way more in common than I did with people who were "tolerant" and "liberal" etc so I had very meaningful friendships with Muslims that ultimately led me closer to God and to my own Catholic faith. Right now, I do have non-Christian friends, especially childhood friends. Your childhood friends are often the people that understand you the most and there's often little that needs to be said between you, they just "get it" so to speak. And I think those friendships are important. But the people that I hang out with the most day to day are my friends from church.
I think a Christian can be friends with a non-Christian if they have other things in common, such as passions or hobbies. Sharing the same religion doesn’t mean you have anything else in common. Sometimes, personally differences can also clash. It also depends on how tolerant the non-Christian is of your opinions. I’ve met plenty of tolerant unbelievers and intolerant believers. With that being said, I do think it’s important for spouses to share the same faith, the foundation of which will determine the success of a marriage. I would consider dating a non-believer, but only if they were considering conversion.
I agree with you. In my experience, belief does not determine a person's good or bad action. I am also married to someone from a non-religious background and she has always given me space to follow my convictions and helps me find a church when out of town. Going to the same church doesn't mean you're traveling in the same direction.
I agree, a plus can be sometimes without even meaning to you can help them on the path towards God, a friend of mine who was raised Hindu has started reading the Bible and looking into Catholicism after observing how I practiced my faith
I have no friends its hard to keep friendships when you are considered a “religious nut” because i say that life starts in the womb and is murdering a human. I keep saying God knows you since u were in the womb. So I’m good being “lonely”
May God bless, support and guide you brother ❤️🙏. " So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time-houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions-and in the age to come, eternal life." Mark 10:29-30 May God grant you brothers in Christ and friends in Christ. And even if not in this life, then in the life to come Amen 🙏.
I do have non Christian friends and Christian friends and they don't belittle my Catholicism. If they did I wouldn't want to be friends anymore Family there is a similar thing of them being really pro choice and I keep my distance and pray for them. Plus they live in another state, we're not close and haven't seen them for years and they are atheists
Brian, this really hit a soft spot for me. I see myself surrounded by friends who are not in the faith and it's sometimes hard to balance this. Your reflexion has helped me shed some light on this matter. Thank you!
I made that mistake: out of human respect, an imprecise notion of friendship, and a conflation of niceness with goodness I counted as friends people whose beliefs were incompatible with mine.
Eating and drinking don't make friendships - such friendship even robbers and murderers have. But if we are friends, if we truly care for one another, let us help one another spiritually. . . Let us hinder those things that lead our friends away to hell. - St. John Chrysostom
One of the most important things I came to realize in my journey out of the world of drugs, alcohol, and casual sex and into the world of Christianity was that the people I considered my closest friends weren't truly my friends. There were people I liked to hang out with and had good times with, but when it came down to the wire, very few of those people actually cared about me. They were pulling me into a spiral of drug addiction. When I stepped away from the drugs and the rest, I realized that drugs were the only thing I even had in common with many of them. We barely even talked about anything else, and when I cut that out, those people fell away. A lot of them weren't even all that fun to be around. In fact, some of them were downright nasty, and I only tolerated them because they hung around the people I actually wanted to be with and I could get something from them. At best, you could call those acquaintances. Certainly not friends.
He gave the game away when he said that people get turned away from their faith being surrounded by people who challenge it. If the only way to stay, religious is to live in an echo chamber because you are religion, can’t withstand scrutiny, you have a false belief system.
Why is it assumed that when a Christian is a friend to a non-Christian it is he who follows Christ who will abandon his beliefs? Is it not as dangerous for a tacit follower of modern secularism to befriend a believer and take on the habits and values of his strong Christian friend? What is required is not abstinence from friendship with non-Christians, but caution and prudence when forming or maintaining those friendships. I don't keep company with those who encourage the vices to which I am most strongly tempted, but I've spent many hours with friends who over time have changed their behavior because they respect and love me and see the effects of Christ in my life.
Very well put. I've experienced this with my best friend since high school, who did not revert back to the faith with me in our mid-20s. If anything, he's been the most supportive person in helping to give up many vices and has expressed that he's seen a change in me since I've started believing in Christ. His wife is having their first child soon; I pray that his love for that baby will open him up to the Holy Spirit's calling. I just don't see how one can evangelize without being their friend, at least in SOME capacity (not saying you have to get so heavily involved or "party" with them).
My non Christian friends have been more Christ-like than my Christian ones... Outward piety is not always a sign of true piety. Judge a tree by it's fruits...
@@Rxpinn that response is exactly why you get along with secular people instead of Christian ones. All I did was ask a question for you to ask yourself.
@@DF-ei9kc I don't feel the need to answer to random people on the internet, so do my boundaries mean that I am tolerant of worldly vices and get along with non Christian people better? Not sure how you made that correlation. You are free to make whatever assumptions you'd like of me, and I have no intention to defend myself. It's already Pentecost where I'm from, so Happy Feast!
If by maintaining friendships with non-Christians you risk being influenced away from your faith, doesn't that, by the same reasoning, enable the possibility of instead influencing them towards righteousness, which is something that also has eternal consequences for them?
@@xiomarablanco5598 Then I think it's fair to ask ourselves why that happens. My guess is that people that abandon their faith just for being exposed to non-believers didn't build their house over rock. From my point of view is just absurd that someone with a good relationship with Jesus could leave Christ behind just for mundane stuff, and also, it's hard for me to imagine that someone that behaves like Jesus wouldn't inspire people close to them to be better persons. If those things are not happening, then the problem is in the uncommited Christian rather than the people around them.
After moving to Texas, I was always wondering why my Christian friends are duds. Watching this video and others on this topic, I now know why. It suddenly makes sense now. This makes me (A) feel sorry for you for the values that you are subscribing to, and (B) cultivate deep disdain for your religion. Thank you so much for saying the quiet part out loud by the way.
Blessed Bishop Sheen is the example that I fallow, he had friends from all walks. If there is respectful behaviour the faith based conversations can lead to spirtual growth. Iron sharpens iron, a spirted exchange can be good for the mind and soul.
My childhood best friend became an atheist. It never destroyed our friendship. We still love each other, share the same hobbies, and the same values. Often, difference in religious belief is a difference in semantics.
I wished I could find good friends who share the same faith and interests as me, but unfortunately, as I grew older, the realization that some people will only bring you down and prevent you from living the life best meant for you stopped me from trying to become friends with everyone. At this point, I can only accept that regardless of faith, the friends to allow near oneself are those who respect one's choices.
As a non Christian, I'll answer this question from my end as a no. We don't need you as friends if you have nothing but contempt for us as heathen, when we too wish to preserve our cultures and traditions.
I asked my husband about this and he said that it is important to keep friends of similar values. I could have a friend who is technically of the same religion but whose values differ greatly. I added in that having friends from multiple backgrounds could expose me to beliefs better than what I currently hold. He said that it was good not to keep yourself in an echo chamber type environment. However, he said I should have friends who support the values I hold very important even while differing in other ways. It's hard to say what to do, because it's hard to say if I'm doing the right thing to begin with or if I need to change. And it's harder to talk to another person about how they should change, as in "You should be friends with so and so because they'd be a good influence on you and hopefully change your mind about this certain thing."
I dunno about this one, Brian. The closer I get to Jesus, the more I see God’s goodness and light in my friends. Both the believers and unbelievers alike. I also feel like Jesus was pretty big on friendship with all sorts of people, even those who held different beliefs. Friendship is also…for those of us developing the virtue of chastity… of the upmost importance. Intimacy is found in friendship and community, and the beauty of it is that, unlike with a spouse, a difference of belief amongst friends ends up emboldening our convictions rather than diminishing them We are built for community and relationship, and I would disagree with Lewis on his assessment of friendship being the lesser form of love or whatever…. Jonathan and David loved one another more than their women. That’s saying something. Thanks for your content
That is an amazing insight, that Jesus could not be corrupted. I have friends that I love and yet oppose my faith every chance they get, it becomes exhausting, as stated in this video, Jesus opposed the pharasies cause they had no intention of repenting , my understanding of repent is to change our ways, on this point, if friends are not willing to change for the common good of being righteous, then it’s perhaps time to move on as we as mere sinners can be easily become corrupted by their influences
@@clouds-rb9xt agree! He could not be corrupted, but I also think him calling his disciples “friends” insinuates that friendship isn’t like… some extra thing we can do without which I think this video (at times) gets close to insinuating
I didn’t read it that way, certain friends are something that we all perhaps can do without, not all friends, as a real friend/s would share a common righteousness ,
Lewis didn’t argue that friendship was the “lesser” of loves-quite the opposite. It is one of the greatest and purest because it is not necessary (is purely voluntary, rather than the obligatory love of family or the passionate love that’s needed for marriage and having children)
Unless you're a catholic, inwhich case you think Christ is a pedophile loving creep. 330,000 little boys in France were raped by 3,000 catholic pedophile priests, and it barely made the news, because people EXPECT that from catholics. Jesus said child rape was UNFORGIVABLE (Matt 18:6-14), and everyone who supported it will get eternal damnation. That means every single catholic.
Of course, the answer to the question "Should Christians be friends with non-Christians?" depends on how we define friendship. I think, for me a friend is someone: 1) I personally know, 2) I share some things in common, 3) I have some sort of mutual benefit with, 4) who respects my boundaries, and 5) who possesses genuine goodness, thus, making them someone whom I would prioritize over a stranger, unless if the said stranger is in an obvious and more life-threatening situation to which I am capable of providing immediate and effective assistance. Any non-Christian can therefore be my "friend," as long as they have those five qualifications. I think this sort of friendship is essential in ensuring our own survival, in the propagation of the gospel, in the understanding of the human condition, and hopefully, for that non-Christian friend's conversion.
5:22 it specifically says this applies only to hypocritical Christians not unbelievers "Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world."
Wow… you have answered the question perfectly, and 100% resonates with me. Thank you very much, may God bless you and increase your holiness and wisdom ✝️
I had to end a friendship with a very worldly person, not because their sins and vices were contagious to me as a Catholic, but because those sins caused them to act uncharitably to me and others. It was the definition of a toxic friendship.
Larry Taunton and Christopher Hitchens were good friends. Larry a Christian apologist and Christopher a famous atheist. Plus Christopher also developed a relationship with The theologian Douglas Wilson. Of course, opposing viewpoint people can become closely bonded. Because eventually God intervenes, and that becomes the tape the glue is Velcro that connects and they don’t even realize it. LOVE=GOD There is no need to push anything on anybody just warm, loving thoughts and discussions and will help and God will do the rest.
Did Hitchens convert before he died..? Doesn't sound like it really helped much. I agree with SOME of your sentiments, but you kind of imply that faith and submission to Christ is sort of secondary, which is dangerous. Be friend-LY with everyone, and maybe even form strong bonds with non-believers, but you should not get involved with those who live dengerate lifestyles or have hostile feelings toward the faith or God Himself.
My best friend is a non-Christian, an agnostic I think! She fully appreciates I am a Catholic and seems to be happy when I go to Church! She seems to like Christian content when I share it. She has fostered/adopted orphans and seems to be a better Christian than me in that she is more generous.
When your non Christian friends drag you down in your journey to following Jesus, you don’t need those friends. I recently met a non Christian couple and instantly knew I won’t be friends with them.
@MAYA Expert if they respect your faith and don't live completely dengerate lives... I think it's fine. But that's just me. Lots of well-adjusted and respectful people who are just agnostic to the existence of God. I think one can tell if someone is a bad influence almost right away, in most cases.
This past year I’ve been deepening in my catholic faith. I’ve been doing lots of reading attending mass every Sunday, praying the rosary every day. Some of my friends are Christian others atheist. I find that I really don’t have anybody to talk to about my Catholic faith and I need to find some Catholic friends because what’s important to me now is not some thing that I feel comfortable sharing with my current friends.
I dont have religious beliefs, so there's simply no need to have this question. I never would turn down the oppurtunity to befriend people outside of my familiarity zone.
Oddly, some of best friendships in the past were with non-Christians; they respected my opinions & beliefs and I respected theirs. Sadly put predictably, my worst encounters were with non-Catholics and Muslims 😉
“He said not, 'Intermix not with unbelievers,' but rather dealing sharply with them, as transgressing what was right, 'Suffer not yourselves to turn aside,' says he, For what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity?” -St. John Chrysostom on 2nd Cor. 6:14 If I might offer my personal opinion, I think it’s primarily an issue of not being taken up by the ethics of unbelief, not insulating ourselves from unbelievers - one kind friend can change our hearts - I think this might have been the point you were also trying to make, but I can’t say for sure In any case, good video as usual Brian!
When Christ spoke his parables to his followers, he demonstrated a profound understanding that transcended their faith or ethnicity. His teachings were not bound by the limitations of social divisions, be it Greek, Roman, Canaanite, Amorite, or any other group. Christ's message of love and compassion encompassed all individuals, regardless of their background. He saw the inherent worth and potential in every person, recognizing that building genuine friendships beyond religious boundaries, one could effectively convey the transformative power of Christ's love and lead others to Christianity. It is essential to recognize that isolating ourselves from those who do not share our beliefs hinders our ability to manifest the love of Christ in their lives. By reaching out to non-Christians and establishing meaningful connections, we open doors for them to witness the profound impact of Christ's teachings firsthand. It is through genuine friendships and sincere interactions that we can effectively communicate the essence of Christ's message and inspire others to seek a relationship with Him. Therefore, our commitment to sharing the love of Christ should transcend religious affiliations, enabling us to extend his kindness, understanding, and acceptance to all individuals we encounter on our journey of faith.
Totally agree! What does it say about our faith is we have to isolate it from the real world. Whether or not we are comfortable with it, the world is bigger than just Christianity, and we have to connect with everyone and help them understand the Gospel through our actions. Orthopraxy is more effective and useful than orthodoxy.
Great question, Brian. I’ve had to drop friends because of different beliefs and that makes me sad. But I will say they couldn’t hear my beliefs and I was barraged with their beliefs. Both sides suffer I think. But, I decide to be yoked with believers. God bless.
Having friends from other faiths can be wonderful, but take it from a child of an interreligious couple: if raising children in your faith is important, don't date outside of your religion.
Should isn't a good question. Should is prescriptive, it's an opinion. The question is *can* you. It requires defining what a friend is. To answer would be too long and off topic, but here is a single line item: A friend is not a shepherd leading livestock. If that's all you see people who don't share your beliefs as: lost, sick beasts fumbling in the darkness; you cannot be those people's friends, because you hold them in contempt.
i'm an atheist of jewish descent in my 60s. one of my close friends (also in her 60s) is an evangelical christian. when we met in our 20s, religion or lack-of was not an issue between us. we had shared interests back then and become close buddies. now, she's much more into christianity than when we met and formed our friendship and we still love and cherish each other and focus on what unites, rather than divides us. i have no kids by choice, she is raising 10 christian kids. it still works for us.
How does one deal with non Catholic study and work environments then? Avoiding cafeteria Catholics is fairly easy with a good parish. But we don't have Catholic States anymore
Are you really chosing your friends? Most of the time it just a product of your environment most often school or workplace. I don't see the problem as long as they are not actively against the faith.
You should be around people who hold the same level of standards as you, that’s important. However, your religious beliefs/ lack of beliefs etc, don’t need to come into the picture unless your desire is to convert people. If you’re worried that people that don’t share your beliefs will influence you then perhaps your belief system wasn’t that strong in the first place. My husband and I are spiritual and we have Muslim, Christian, Hindu and atheist friends. It works because of being open minded and respecting everyone’s right to believe what they want. It’s only those who are extreme and need to save that can’t handle friendships outside their beliefs.
I appreciate your comment. I'm an atheist but have always had an interest in theology. One of my closest friends is a Christian with a strong belief and attends church regularly. We are very different in a lot of ways but we connected through our charity work and shared interest in philosophy. From my point of view it's great to have friends with different beliefs to explore ideas with. It would be a shame if being friends with me would be viewed as something negative for her.
Amazing video! I've learned something important: You don't have to be friends with someone to show them love! I find that profoundly important. It highlights the importance of giving with no reward expectations. Also, I really liked the difference you pointed about Jesus: He treated repented people with kindness, and the prideful ones, He simply walk away or told them the truth... Thank you so much for this video!
I somewhat disagree. I think we have to have the ability to bridge the gap in understanding between ourselves. I am comfortable enough in my faith. I have seen enough, read enough, my questions are satisfied and I too have not shunned outside beliefs as I don't think they are unfounded, just misled. I used to be friends with an atheist and now he's a Christian trying to discover more about the faith and about God, he used to drink hard and do drugs when I was friends with him as I've been friends with him since we were 4 and we are in our mid 20's now. Our faith has and can stand up to the test, it has stood up to ridicule and criticism and in this modern age we still have Christians of all experiences and walks of life. With that said, I agree that there is a danger in to be had in being friends with these people, but if your faith isn't taken seriously to begin with. I think the bigger danger is being friends with people going through the same struggles as you as on the one hand you might encourage each other to greater heights or you might bring each other down. If you have an issue with keeping your lust in check, maybe have a bit more distance from prostitutes, if you have a drug problem, maybe have a bit of distance from drug dealers
Excellent discussion. I think we love our dis functional/sinful neighbor by firstly not hating them and by praying for them and their salvation… all at a safe distance.
I’ve noticed a trend in this comment section, people are justifying how “harmless” their friendship with unbelievers has been. Without applying the wisdom of God and acknowledging the influence that comes with these associations. It would be difficult to be a fully devoted person to God and still be friendship with non believers as it requires you to water your values and beliefs down to accommodate them.
Actually this video, need to be watched by all youths, not just Christian youths. Thankyou gentle man. I should have watched this 5 years before, Iam soo tierd of nurchuring all peoples from my neighbourhood to internet and feeding feeding..ended up being nowhere both careerwise and personally ❤thankful for this video.
Thank you so much for this one!! I've been tormented by this question for such a long time and now I've found all the answers in your video. Finally feeling at peace with myself and the friendship decisions I had to make. ❤
I’m certainly glad that my Christian friends didn’t give up on me when I was an atheist. To not be friends with these people for your own benefit could be selfish.
Some of these comments seem to be responding only to the title of the video. Brian in the video references points of virtue much more than merely do you categorize as Christian or non-Christian. I want everyone to be Catholic, but I understand those not raised as Christians can still have a code of ethics they live by that is very similar to what Christianity teaches. I think they may have indirectly been raised on values that originate from Christianity without even knowing it. Therefore, as Catholics, we should always encourage others to know our Lord, but not just avoid interaction merely on not being categorized Christian.
Unfortunately, the best people (high in "natural virtue", if you say) I meet were outside the Church. And I include from radtrads to charismatics and everything in between. Ironically, the best catholic friends I have are non-vinculated to any particular apostolate: they just go to the Sunday mass and try to live the commandments somehow. I was targeted by envious and narcisistic behaviour *far* more frequently from catholics than from non-catholics. To be fair, the filter for non-catholics was much more rigorous, I assumed good-faith and general goodness from the people working on catholic apostolates - that's the most holy work, so people must be holier by default - boy, I was wrong!
Thank you for your words of wisdom taken from Scripture and good writers. It used to be the case in my part of the world as we grew up that we were a minority among all the population both at school and later in the adult world. So finding a good catholic friend was almost impossible. It still is there. But interestingly as we’ve moved to a once-Christian country, which I believe is where you’re from too, Brian, I witness the paganism here increasing at an alarming rate! And so my young adult sons and my husband are landed with the same fate as we had back in our land of birth. Especially in our so called “Catholic” public schools where I happen to work, good luck finding ANY truly catholic friend! Thanks to post Christian wokism within our own curriculums and our “training” as staff!! So what’s at stake here is our having fewer and fewer friends and deep friendships, and our lives are directed to more of “evangelizing” of our so called catholic co-workers and students. And it would be necessary to mention that evangelizing has its consequences, thanks to the very aggressive wokism among the unionized staff, the secularism prevalent among families, which has manifested as open minds and souls to the occult among the children, and our evangelization is “increasingly intolerable” to them. Martyrdom is on the horizon☺️ no chances of finding enriching friendships it seems 😄 However to be honest, very few are still to be found if we can discern, from the people we meet or come across.
I find your use of 1 Corinthians 5 to justify your position (at 5:19) to be rather misleading. If you read the whole passage with context, Paul specifically excludes non-Christians: > I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people --- not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler-not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
The hardest friendships I've discovered concern the one's who have a form of godliness but whom deny the Deity of Christ. Some believe that religion serves a purpose, but they don't believe in a "personal" God, or Jesus. They use foul language, and it's really difficult to be around them, they get angry when I bring up my "personal" Jesus. There are times when that person would apologize to me, but not much times passes before the profanity starts up again. On the other hand, there are those that preach that Christians should not marry non-Christians. I recall in God's Word how the pharisee's ridiculed Jesus for sitting with tax collectors and sinners, but why weren't the religious leaders of the day sitting with Him. They called Him "good", they called Him "True", but ultimately nailed Him to the cross for His good deeds that annoyed them. God's Word clearly says that marriage is good for all, the wedding bed kept undefiled. It also says that if an unbeliever is willing to live with a Believer, let them not divorce, but if the unbeliever departs then the believer is not under bondage. The reason, "For who knows wife, whether you will save your husband, and who knows husband whether you will save your wife? I think the verse ends with a question mark for a reason, because the "yoke" God is talking about is not a reference to "marriage" but to one's faith, not to be unequally yoked, meaning, if you are a believer, and a non-believer is willing to marry you, your faith in Christ must be greater than their faith in the world, or they will convert you away from Christ. God's Word is dividing our families before we even get to the wedding ceremony, how can we be self-righteous to assume we can't marry someone who does not believe of whom is willing to marry a "Believer". I think the overall point, is that someone who is truly against God will not marry someone whose life is in accordance with God's Word. An unbeliever who is willing to marry a Christian, well, it must be love, and love is the fulfillment of all the laws of the Prophets, as those who sat with Jesus didn't hate Him enough NOT to sit with Him. What are your thoughts?
I live in Germany. None of my "Catholic" acquaintances know what catholicism is, they are basically baptized pagan/atheists. In Mass, all priests I've seen are liberal and support the heresies you already know about. I met just some days ago a "catholic" that was complaining his homeland (Poland) wasn't very open to abortion and sexual perversity. I really do believe I probably will never meet strong Catholic people, and if it weren't for some great Catholic youtube channels, I'd be a worse Catholic myself.
My goodness. I increasingly feel so sorry for Christians as they constantly remove themselves from true human experience. As an atheist, I treasure my friendships with Christians and Buddhists (alas, no Muslims or Hindus in my area). We all have respectful conversations about spiritual/philosophical things. I have no need to try to talk them out of their faith. In fact, because I read apologetics and some of them don’t, I often give stronger arguments for their faith than what they know. Sadly, many of my Christian friends feel the need to sneak in some Jesus and try to win me over. But I have no problem with than. It’s just sad that Christians feel the need. None of my closest and dearest friends is an atheist. Some are Christians, one is a Buddhist. These are the humans in earth who understand me most and who are dearest to me of all things. Brian’s perspective is skewed. Rather than are they Christian, are they atheist, what can’t we look at our friends as, are they a truth seeker?
I’m a Catholic, like a pretty intense one at that, and I would agree with you that this video seems to come across as promoting an insular and almost cloistered type of life. And in a world where ppl already feel so isolated… I have to wonder what good this will do other than give some Catholics “permission” to cut off friendship. I love the friends god has placed in my life, and hardly any of them believe like I do. They see my spiritual blind spots, as being outside my tradition allows them a wider scope, and vice versa.
@@soniarai2059 ❤️ Right? Iron sharpens iron. I definitely won’t be challenged by my atheist friends (and agnostic might be a better term for me depending how one defines terms). If I am errant in my thinking I want someone who cares about me to challenge me or enlighten me on that. True friendship respects and there is no threat. I still love theology and do a lot of reading, so have that in common as well. Cheers!
@@soniarai2059 The women's group I participate in at my Catholic Church had a similar discussion last night as we were talking about the 3 temptations of Christ while he was in the desert. We also talked about the priests who hid themselves away in caves so as not to be corrupted by common people. We came away with the idea that it's both necessary to face the temptations of our world - in this case secular friends - but also to retreat into solitude or surrounding oneself with only fellow practicing Catholics to gain strength, fortitude, wisdom and guidance. Overall as I age (I'm 60 now) I can't lie to myself and say my secular friendships will ever get very deep. Sweet people - yes, but not helpful in saving. my soul.
Hi Bigidea, I’m a Christian and while you feel sorry for some of us Christian’s there’s no real need to do so. I had friends who would cut your throat to get ahead, friends who were megalomaniacs, coked up every weekend , serial adulterers, sex addicts and worse, I grew up with these people, Christianity gave me the tools and discernment to move away from these people as they corrupted me also , Christianity brought me towards friends who had a commonality in virtue and righteousness. On a point that you say some of your Christian friends try to “sneak in Jesus” if you read on evangelism as you mentioned, then don’t you know that Christianity is based on Jesus, isn’t to “sneak” Jesus in then like saying let’s talk about boxing but don’t sneak Muhammad Ali into the conversation! 🙏
@@meanoldbag I think all my friendships where people showed up for me during my darkest times are deeper than anything any shared church life could forge. My fiancé died four years ago, and I didn’t realize life could ever lead to such a place of despair (grief) I also didn’t realize that people would follow after me to that dark dark place, and while some of them were Catholic, many of them were not. But they followed me to the depths and the light of God shone through all of them… believers and unbelievers alike I think facing the trials of life together forges stronger friendships than theology or “shared” beliefs ever can. The spirit indwells in people in ways we can’t imagine and who knows who is actually a member of that “invisible church” which is building God’s kingdom in ways our eyes and minds cannot perceive Thank you for your insight
Jesus befriended all kinds of people without regard to whether they were Jews, pagans or whatever. Your 'job,' so to speak, is to glorify God with your life so that others, seeing your good works, will give glory to God the Father. What must be avoided at all costs is any relationship that depends on you acting contrary to your faith. Going to the margins to seek out the lost is what discipleship is all about.
I just ended up around some unbelievers. I usually dont do that nowdays. I have felt ill since. At ease and physically. Something to be learned from. I don't want to hear about their secular interests, nor do I want to stroke my ego by saying im there to show them love and the way, as some videos are saying. To be friendly and 'get along' means to have to agree with what they say, at least to some extent. I got to hear about satanic musicians, see people drunk and tattooed with dark things, see people who seem mentally ill talk about their counseling work with children. I pretended with everyone else that the man in a dress named sophia was a normal thing. A seemingly nirmal man had painted red nails. I did not hate any of them. Does to be yoked mean even to socialize and eat with someone? I need to pray now for some clarity and for them and myself. Secular society is really distrubing.
Sorry, Brian, but I can't agree with you on this video. When I was a kid (I'm 77 y.o. now), the Catholics I grew up with were Irish-Americans whose only form of socializing was to be perched on a barstool, knocking down beers, and watching the ballgame on TV. To make friends with people I wanted to be around, I had to expand my social circle to include friends who were not Catholic.
He's actually wrong with his new testament in this video corinthians actually says not to eat with hypocritical Christians not sinful unbelievers. And it says not to be UNEQUALLY yoked with unbelievers in reference to when a stronger animal was yoked to a weaker one and the plough veired off to one side.
I think the bible indicates there's a middle ground, throughout scripture it urges us to be careful who we form relationships with. On the other hand we are not to required to avoid unbelievers all together "else you must needs go out of the world" and "if an unbeliever invite you to a feast"
What about the good-willed friends who need to be shown slowly and gradually that they're living a sinful lifestyle? For instance, those who have a strong sense of morality, but who have fallen victim to new age ideas.
What about friends you have established since childhood? Can you continue them (albeit with firm conviction to abide by true doctrine, profess the truth, and not pray with them)? Or must you cut them off?
Didnt watch the video yet. I think as long as the person isnt viceful or promote vices, theres nothing wrong with associating with them regardless of their faith.
I have had to turn my back on our local Church literally around the corner from our house and travel 50 mins down the road. Because majority of the kids that go there are only going to stamp their book. They need over 15 stamps of Sunday Mass attendance to receive 1st holy communion. The parents talk about going to mass in a negative context and im assuming their children will learn from their parents. It's a tough call because apart from the luke warm faith we have a good community here. Many parents know each other and we have a lot of friends here. I want to be the example for them to deepen in their faith but not at the cost of mh childrens faith.
5:12 Actually it says don't be UNEQUALLY yoked with unbelievers. This is a reference to when a stronger animal was yoked to a weaker one they would veir off to one side.
Theres my boss im friends with him because he enjoys listening to me talk about the Lord and his word. And i believe i am helping him get closer. His wife already is. But my other friend have fully rejected christ and told me that they wanna move further from God just because i was talking about his word and the other one told me he wanted to move further from me because of it. So ive decided to separate from them but love them still from a far
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”[e] 34 Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God-I say this to your shame.
It's really tough when your own family is made up of non-believers...are you supposed to cut ties with them too? Then I would have no friends and no family, because true Catholics are few and far between where I am.
My immediate family (meaning parents and siblings) ranges from Cafeteria-Catholics to full-on athiests, and I love all of them to death, so I get it. Just don't let them drag you down, even if it means they get upset with you over certain things (I had some of them get angry at me for saying I would not attend a same sex wedding, regardless of whose it was). If they respect your faith and you don't feel pressured to compromise your morals, and the love is mutual, you should be fine.
Always a friend will be a help or deterrent to heaven. I have Holy prayerful friends who encourage me through life. But also some that I help and pray for.... They are victims of a dark world and desire the light.
Gently plant the seed and walk away. They know where to find you and a church, when and if they're interested. Pushing is the worst way to try get someone to see your viewpoint.
I guess that's different than friendship because you're now bound to her from the promise you made before God. The best you can do is pray for her and try your best to bring her back.
C.S. Lewis' idea of the four types of love is not doctrinal. Lewis wasn't even Catholic; he was Anglican. His ideas also have many glaring holes in them. I don't think Catholics should be so quick to accept them as foundational.
I don’t think there’s an issue with having non Christian friends. I have 2 Muslim friends and they’re good people. To me, it matters on who they are as a person, and not what they believe in.
My whole family are unbelievers, except one sister. But the ones I live with, because they cannot see my experiences with the Lord, they think medicine will help better than He can 😂. They're trying their best, lord bless their hearts, but I honestly think they have no clue what is going on in the world. I'm pretty sure they're oblivious to the pharmakeia vicious cycle when it comes to mental issues. I'm also pretty sure they have no clue of His power. I have an addiction issue, where each time I feel like doing something productive with my self, the addiction slips into my mind, I pray it away. It goes away. I told a family member that abstinence is the end goal of psychiatry when dealing with addiction, and I'm already there through the Lord, bless His gracious mercy on me. But she just ignored me and didn't want to hear it, so walked away. How do I deal with people like these? It's driving me up the wall!
Actually it says don't be UNEQUALLY yoked with unbelievers. This is a reference to when a stronger animal was yoked to a weaker one they would veir off to one side.
My whole life i never really chose my friends....they just came to me and tried to befriend me. They were all pothead losers. So i became one too. Now i chose my friends. It wouldnt surprise me if satan used friendship to get close to you and tear you apart from the inside.
Love is willing the good of the other. It's caring for another's well being, however, that manifests. Friendship is a close association among equals. You can love someone without being a pal. With that said, I wouldn't restrict association to people who believe the same as me, since that topic might never come up in a significant way. Religious Catholics can be awful. And non-Catholics can be holy. No, it's not advised to hang out with people who have a negative influence. Case by case. As a "Catholic come home," I am learning that words have different means when used philosophically or theologically. I'm constantly asking myself what basic words mean such as love, grace, belief, faith, etc. It's hard to come to grips with sometimes.
So don't be friends with non believers because we are so weak they will eventually turn us, then they won't see our lives, faith or example? Will do. I regret my deep friendships that resulted in conversion.
I have outgrown my friendships. It is difficult to find new friends when you are a grown-up. One tip: don't google 'adult friendship'...
Why did you have to make this both sad and hilarious..? 😶
I agree … 😂 & 😕
Engage in church ministry groups. You will find people with common interests, values and virtues. Not that those factors automatically make compatible friendships but it narrows it down. God bless
Me rn, omw to go and google “adult friendships” 🥴
@@mancipiachristi9032 There aren't any groups where we live (a small mediterranean town).
There is a difference between morality and theology. One can be righteous and upright but not share your theology, and at the same time plenty who share your theology may behave in an awful manner.
Yesss good distinction
I'd say The Daily Wire is a good example of this. Ben Shapiro the Orthodox Jew, Andrew Klaven and Jeremy Boring are Protestant, while Matt Walsh and Michael Knowles are Catholics. 🙂
If your friends drag you down into their vices or lead you to sin, obviously you should avoid them or cut them off. But the claim that you should strictly cut off any non-catholic friend is something else entirely, and it's also a claim swiftly uttered by people who already find themselves well-situated within a community of believers.
In my case, being exclusively friends with Catholics only would mean I wouldn't have any friends at all since there simply are no catholics in my hometown. It's a handful of catholics that I've met on social media but most of them are wannabe trads who spend too much time on the internet (I admit to being guilty of that myself) - God bless them, but social interactions on Instagram and Twitter are always tainted by culture war issues, moral outrage, trad daydreams of a "Catholic Golden Age", inner-catholic disputes and arguments, and I'm trying to get away from all of that. There are a couple of catholics where I live now but there's no one I would call a friend or who I'd even want to be friends with.
Plus, cutting off friends also prevents evangelization from happening because in my case, there's literally no other catholic around, so if I want my friends to go to Heaven, I have to put in the effort and evangelize them myself. Selectiveness for me isn't the issue, the question is when to be selective.
This. All of this is exactly how I feel and what I experience. The only difference is I live in a big liberal city, not a town.
So far, I've met ONE guy who takes tha faith as seriously as I do, and follow what's even going on in the church. But he has a wife and child and a full-time job that's a different schedule than mine. We really only talk over text about faith related matters. If that were my only friendship, then I would be severely depressed.
My best friend since high school is an agnostic (I didn't really revert until my early to mid-20s), but also very supportive about my faith, and we've had conversations about a lot of things pertaining to it.
He also doesn't live a degenerate lifestyle or anything; married, has a baby on the way, has a great job and a nice house, etc. The worst thing about him is that he may play video games too much when his wife is at work, and he smokes marijuana (which is legal for recreational use in NJ, where he lives). Both things I'm not quite sure are even mortal sins; lots of mixed opinions.
As you said, being friends with people, living your best Christian life (for them to observe), and praying for them is the best way. I really don't see how one could evangelize any other way... Even Jesus hung out with full-on dengerates, and He told them how their lifestyles were wrong and showed them a better way.
That's pretty close to my experience, and I do maintain friendships with people of good will. The Catholics I did encounter were derisive of other Catholics so it was absolutely demoralizing. I find some people of good will in volunteer associations, especially with the poor.
I tried so long to find a Catholic friend that I accept it as God's will that I do not have one.
My mom was a convert from Judaism; she lost her entire family and culture. Sometimes it's a narrow path.
I’m y’all’s catholic friend
@@bernadette573 God bless your mom for letting go of cultural pride, and listening to Jesus in leaving her family for His sake.
I think this video put a sensitive topic across with such humility. As a catholic christian convert, Christianity gave me the tools to move forward in life by the grace of discernment, the friends I hung with were coked up every weekend, adulterous, megalomaniacs, haters of all religion and God and while I still love these guys I had to move away as there behaviour had corruptible influences on me, as I became to Love Jesus more and more each day, my friends would drift further away, why, because I refused to indulge in that sinful life and yet, if they find themselves some day seeing the error of their ways and seek help or guidance , I’ll be the first at their door, to me that’s love I found through Christ. .
Im going through this right now myself. It's a tough moment, but I know Im on the right path.
I posted about a person that was mocking and ridiculing my Catholic faith and that I had let that friendship go. Someone said “I’m glad I’m not your friend”. That person came over about a decade ago with a six pack of beer and when he finished it off without me bringing up religion and knowing I’m Catholic became visible angry shouting about what he hated about the Catholic Church. There is no reason to be around that kind of hatred and I don’t apologize for it because what I did wasn’t wrong. I’m 65 and in my mid to late 20’s I took a look at all of my friendships. I realized that I was the one that initiated everything with everyone. I made the phone calls, and I drove over to visit people and not a single person reciprocated. I decided to see if I mattered to any of them and stopped calling and visiting and didn’t hear from any of them again. I have not sought friendship in the last 40 years. I engage in solitary activities. I was married for 11 years and divorced for 20 and I won’t commit adultery so I haven’t sought female companionship in 20 years and won’t again. I am polite, I smile when I encounter people, and I ask them about themselves and try to give and help where I can. I pray a lot, and I spend a lot of time in front of the tabernacle but I live as a hermit based on my experience with people in the past. When you are my age you are invisible to people. People just don’t care about the elderly. I realize that the comments sections of videos and social media are occasions of Sin for me because it’s too easy for me to respond in anger so I am going to once again retreat in solitude. To the person who said ”I’m glad I’m not your friend,” I hear you and I walked into solitude 40 years ago because of people like you.
I'm almost 38, and much of your story sounds familiar to me. Solitude can be good for spiritual growth, but loneliness is difficult. Know of my prayers for you.
- A friend in Christ.
@@erock5b Thanks for the prayers. I am not lonely and haven't been for quite some time. I spend a lot of time in prayer and try to receive the Eucharist every day. I am actually at peace. When I realized that I was the only one putting effort into friendships I decided to see if I stopped would they contact me but that wasn't the case so I let it be what it was and no longer pursued friendships. I have acquaintances I talk to but don't get together with anyone. I asked my Priest about this and told him I don't have a car and no way to get anywhere to serve the poor, but I spend several hours a day praying for people and he said that is a much-needed way of serving God. I am not averse to friendship but much prefer solitude now. Since I am divorced I won't commit adultery so I haven't been in a relationship for quite some time and won't ever pursue one again.
I wish I was your friend
I was close friends with a pot-smoking bro who was into all kinds of eastern mysticism and new age stuff. We had great discussions, sometimes while he was high. He was initiated into the Catholic Church this past Easter and I was his sponsor.
awesome
He was already very open to invisible warlords, flying elephants and other undetectable things. So don't pad yourself to much on the back. 😂
@@Teelsambal If that's how you want to describe Hinduism, sure lol
@@theoldsaxon6484Fictional non the less.
X
I don’t think I was wise enough to listen to advice like this in my teen and early adult years, but I sure wish I would have. Great thoughts, Brian, as always, I really appreciate both the constructive thoughts, and the articulate way in which you convey them. God bless.
I never ask my friends or partners to share my faith, but I do ask them to respect it. If it comes down to having to make a choice between them or Christ, there's no way they're going to win.
Why should they respect it? If somebody believes in a giant hotdog god, are you going to respect it? No. Why does your religion get a pass?
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND If they don't respect how important my faith is to me, they don't respect me. I'm too old and life is too short to have people like that in my life.
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND If I knew someone who believed in a giant hot dog gid, and he asked that I don't mick him for it politely, I would say sure np, I think that idea is stupid but I'm fine being polite to you. It's called decency. Would you prefer we go back to the days of killing each other?
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND
1. There is a lot of philosophical ground for Christianity and a very rich history and traditions (...and admitedly, for most of the modern big religions), it's not the same as any ridiculous thing that just comes out to your mind.
2. If you want to befriend someone, you shouldn't treat them condescendingly.
@@USS-SNAKE-ISLAND They technically don't have to respect it. Just don't expect friendships to remain. If someone was mocking your father on a daily or frequent basis, I think most people would struggle to maintain friendship. I would argue, that I perhaps may initially be shocked or disrespectful, but if they legitimately believed it or had some sort of reasons for why they believed, I would definitely take a more respectful approach while still asking questions.
You should be friends with those who act in a virtuous manner and avoid those who act in a viceful manner, regardless of what they call themselves.
we should've stoned Magdalena. she was impure
So don't befriend trump?!!!
A great topic. It becomes very tricky when the members of your family all believe differently than you.
That’s tough. My two cents, for whatever it’s worth… Like in the Safety PSA’s on airplanes, put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help others. Make sure you’re in a good place spiritually before spending too much time with people who might lead you astray. But I obviously don’t know the particulars in your situation, I have absolutely no business trying to give you solid advice. Take my thoughts or leave them. :-)
@@MikePasqqsaPekiM Thank you for your concern. I’m not worried about them leading me astray. They’ve all left the faith we grew up in or become “universalist” Catholics and I’ve gone back to the Latin Mass and all the pre Vatican II teachings that go along with that. It’s just hard not to feel free to share what is most important in my life. It’s like there’s a huge gulf between us and it’s sad. Yet we are family.
@@ruthmaryrose Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
With God’s grace, who knows? Maybe you’ll get to spend a happy eternity sharing and catching up in the Light of Christ that will never fade 🙏
I think a familial relationship is different from a friendship. We cannot choose our family, but we do choose our friends.
@@MikePasqqsaPekiM Well said.
Brian, you touched on a VERY important point - we haven't examined what we mean by "friendship". And when anyone says 'you cannot be friends with anyone who does not share your beliefs', we may imagine that amnity should turn to emnity against those who then become 'the others'. NO.
We can be warm, gentle, caring and considerate of co-workers, acquaintances, and others with whom we have shared interests, in the spirit of Agape...We can have a moderate level of involvement (popularly called "friendships" these days), without spending loads of time and close personal involvement with them, and without lessening our commitments to those with whom we DO share our beliefs and commitments (true and trustworthy friends).
We need to develop a vocabulary and sensibility for the vast middle ground, between 'I don't know them/associate with them' and 'they are true and deep friends and have my highest commitment of trust'.
When I was at university, the vast majority of my classmates were atheists, so a lot of my friends were Muslim. In the context, we actually had way more in common than I did with people who were "tolerant" and "liberal" etc so I had very meaningful friendships with Muslims that ultimately led me closer to God and to my own Catholic faith. Right now, I do have non-Christian friends, especially childhood friends. Your childhood friends are often the people that understand you the most and there's often little that needs to be said between you, they just "get it" so to speak. And I think those friendships are important. But the people that I hang out with the most day to day are my friends from church.
I think a Christian can be friends with a non-Christian if they have other things in common, such as passions or hobbies. Sharing the same religion doesn’t mean you have anything else in common. Sometimes, personally differences can also clash. It also depends on how tolerant the non-Christian is of your opinions. I’ve met plenty of tolerant unbelievers and intolerant believers. With that being said, I do think it’s important for spouses to share the same faith, the foundation of which will determine the success of a marriage. I would consider dating a non-believer, but only if they were considering conversion.
I agree with you. In my experience, belief does not determine a person's good or bad action. I am also married to someone from a non-religious background and she has always given me space to follow my convictions and helps me find a church when out of town.
Going to the same church doesn't mean you're traveling in the same direction.
I agree, a plus can be sometimes without even meaning to you can help them on the path towards God, a friend of mine who was raised Hindu has started reading the Bible and looking into Catholicism after observing how I practiced my faith
I have no friends its hard to keep friendships when you are considered a “religious nut” because i say that life starts in the womb and is murdering a human. I keep saying God knows you since u were in the womb. So I’m good being “lonely”
May God bless, support and guide you brother ❤️🙏. "
So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time-houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions-and in the age to come, eternal life."
Mark 10:29-30
May God grant you brothers in Christ and friends in Christ. And even if not in this life, then in the life to come Amen 🙏.
I do have non Christian friends and Christian friends and they don't belittle my Catholicism. If they did I wouldn't want to be friends anymore
Family there is a similar thing of them being really pro choice and I keep my distance and pray for them. Plus they live in another state, we're not close and haven't seen them for years and they are atheists
Brian, this really hit a soft spot for me. I see myself surrounded by friends who are not in the faith and it's sometimes hard to balance this. Your reflexion has helped me shed some light on this matter. Thank you!
I made that mistake: out of human respect, an imprecise notion of friendship, and a conflation of niceness with goodness I counted as friends people whose beliefs were incompatible with mine.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a warmer word for "good acquaintance", to use instead of "friend" in those situations??
Eating and drinking don't make friendships - such friendship even robbers and murderers have. But if we are friends, if we truly care for one another, let us help one another spiritually. . . Let us hinder those things that lead our friends away to hell. - St. John Chrysostom
One of the most important things I came to realize in my journey out of the world of drugs, alcohol, and casual sex and into the world of Christianity was that the people I considered my closest friends weren't truly my friends. There were people I liked to hang out with and had good times with, but when it came down to the wire, very few of those people actually cared about me. They were pulling me into a spiral of drug addiction. When I stepped away from the drugs and the rest, I realized that drugs were the only thing I even had in common with many of them. We barely even talked about anything else, and when I cut that out, those people fell away. A lot of them weren't even all that fun to be around. In fact, some of them were downright nasty, and I only tolerated them because they hung around the people I actually wanted to be with and I could get something from them. At best, you could call those acquaintances. Certainly not friends.
He gave the game away when he said that people get turned away from their faith being surrounded by people who challenge it. If the only way to stay, religious is to live in an echo chamber because you are religion, can’t withstand scrutiny, you have a false belief system.
Sometimes, challenges to our faith is what helps us grow.
Why is it assumed that when a Christian is a friend to a non-Christian it is he who follows Christ who will abandon his beliefs? Is it not as dangerous for a tacit follower of modern secularism to befriend a believer and take on the habits and values of his strong Christian friend? What is required is not abstinence from friendship with non-Christians, but caution and prudence when forming or maintaining those friendships. I don't keep company with those who encourage the vices to which I am most strongly tempted, but I've spent many hours with friends who over time have changed their behavior because they respect and love me and see the effects of Christ in my life.
Very well put. I've experienced this with my best friend since high school, who did not revert back to the faith with me in our mid-20s. If anything, he's been the most supportive person in helping to give up many vices and has expressed that he's seen a change in me since I've started believing in Christ. His wife is having their first child soon; I pray that his love for that baby will open him up to the Holy Spirit's calling.
I just don't see how one can evangelize without being their friend, at least in SOME capacity (not saying you have to get so heavily involved or "party" with them).
My non Christian friends have been more Christ-like than my Christian ones... Outward piety is not always a sign of true piety. Judge a tree by it's fruits...
Do you truly represent faith and morals to them or are you very agreeable with worldly vices and opinions?
@@DF-ei9kc Why do I have to answer to you, though?
@@Rxpinn that response is exactly why you get along with secular people instead of Christian ones. All I did was ask a question for you to ask yourself.
@@DF-ei9kc I don't feel the need to answer to random people on the internet, so do my boundaries mean that I am tolerant of worldly vices and get along with non Christian people better? Not sure how you made that correlation. You are free to make whatever assumptions you'd like of me, and I have no intention to defend myself. It's already Pentecost where I'm from, so Happy Feast!
@Rxpin then why makes posts.
Not associating with someone who doesn't adhere to your world view is a textbook cult tactic
If by maintaining friendships with non-Christians you risk being influenced away from your faith, doesn't that, by the same reasoning, enable the possibility of instead influencing them towards righteousness, which is something that also has eternal consequences for them?
Usually is all the way around😬
@@xiomarablanco5598 Then I think it's fair to ask ourselves why that happens. My guess is that people that abandon their faith just for being exposed to non-believers didn't build their house over rock.
From my point of view is just absurd that someone with a good relationship with Jesus could leave Christ behind just for mundane stuff, and also, it's hard for me to imagine that someone that behaves like Jesus wouldn't inspire people close to them to be better persons.
If those things are not happening, then the problem is in the uncommited Christian rather than the people around them.
Saint Paul says not to be unequally yoked with non believers and th Abad company ruins good morals.
St. Paul > Anyones opinion
Imagine thinking being christian is the same thing a being righteous 💀
@Kronukk Kronukk Christ is our righteousness, not self righteousness. Without Christ, you are not righteous before God.
After moving to Texas, I was always wondering why my Christian friends are duds. Watching this video and others on this topic, I now know why. It suddenly makes sense now. This makes me (A) feel sorry for you for the values that you are subscribing to, and (B) cultivate deep disdain for your religion. Thank you so much for saying the quiet part out loud by the way.
Blessed Bishop Sheen is the example that I fallow, he had friends from all walks. If there is respectful behaviour the faith based conversations can lead to spirtual growth. Iron sharpens iron, a spirted exchange can be good for the mind and soul.
My childhood best friend became an atheist. It never destroyed our friendship. We still love each other, share the same hobbies, and the same values. Often, difference in religious belief is a difference in semantics.
I wished I could find good friends who share the same faith and interests as me, but unfortunately, as I grew older, the realization that some people will only bring you down and prevent you from living the life best meant for you stopped me from trying to become friends with everyone. At this point, I can only accept that regardless of faith, the friends to allow near oneself are those who respect one's choices.
As a non Christian, I'll answer this question from my end as a no. We don't need you as friends if you have nothing but contempt for us as heathen, when we too wish to preserve our cultures and traditions.
I asked my husband about this and he said that it is important to keep friends of similar values. I could have a friend who is technically of the same religion but whose values differ greatly.
I added in that having friends from multiple backgrounds could expose me to beliefs better than what I currently hold.
He said that it was good not to keep yourself in an echo chamber type environment. However, he said I should have friends who support the values I hold very important even while differing in other ways.
It's hard to say what to do, because it's hard to say if I'm doing the right thing to begin with or if I need to change.
And it's harder to talk to another person about how they should change, as in "You should be friends with so and so because they'd be a good influence on you and hopefully change your mind about this certain thing."
I dunno about this one, Brian.
The closer I get to Jesus, the more I see God’s goodness and light in my friends. Both the believers and unbelievers alike.
I also feel like Jesus was pretty big on friendship with all sorts of people, even those who held different beliefs.
Friendship is also…for those of us developing the virtue of chastity… of the upmost importance. Intimacy is found in friendship and community, and the beauty of it is that, unlike with a spouse, a difference of belief amongst friends ends up emboldening our convictions rather than diminishing them
We are built for community and relationship, and I would disagree with Lewis on his assessment of friendship being the lesser form of love or whatever…. Jonathan and David loved one another more than their women. That’s saying something.
Thanks for your content
I think this is fair, but I also feel that for Jesus, it was different. He was sinless, so he couldn't be corrupted by others.
That is an amazing insight, that Jesus could not be corrupted. I have friends that I love and yet oppose my faith every chance they get, it becomes exhausting, as stated in this video, Jesus opposed the pharasies cause they had no intention of repenting , my understanding of repent is to change our ways, on this point, if friends are not willing to change for the common good of being righteous, then it’s perhaps time to move on as we as mere sinners can be easily become corrupted by their influences
@@clouds-rb9xt agree! He could not be corrupted, but I also think him calling his disciples “friends” insinuates that friendship isn’t like… some extra thing we can do without which I think this video (at times) gets close to insinuating
I didn’t read it that way, certain friends are something that we all perhaps can do without, not all friends, as a real friend/s would share a common righteousness ,
Lewis didn’t argue that friendship was the “lesser” of loves-quite the opposite. It is one of the greatest and purest because it is not necessary (is purely voluntary, rather than the obligatory love of family or the passionate love that’s needed for marriage and having children)
CHRIST IS KING
Unless you're a catholic, inwhich case you think Christ is a pedophile loving creep.
330,000 little boys in France were raped by 3,000 catholic pedophile priests, and it barely made the news, because people EXPECT that from catholics.
Jesus said child rape was UNFORGIVABLE (Matt 18:6-14), and everyone who supported it will get eternal damnation. That means every single catholic.
Of course, the answer to the question "Should Christians be friends with non-Christians?" depends on how we define friendship. I think, for me a friend is someone:
1) I personally know,
2) I share some things in common,
3) I have some sort of mutual benefit with,
4) who respects my boundaries, and
5) who possesses genuine goodness,
thus, making them someone whom I would prioritize over a stranger, unless if the said stranger is in an obvious and more life-threatening situation to which I am capable of providing immediate and effective assistance. Any non-Christian can therefore be my "friend," as long as they have those five qualifications. I think this sort of friendship is essential in ensuring our own survival, in the propagation of the gospel, in the understanding of the human condition, and hopefully, for that non-Christian friend's conversion.
5:22 it specifically says this applies only to hypocritical Christians not unbelievers "Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world."
Wow… you have answered the question perfectly, and 100% resonates with me. Thank you very much, may God bless you and increase your holiness and wisdom ✝️
I had to end a friendship with a very worldly person, not because their sins and vices were contagious to me as a Catholic, but because those sins caused them to act uncharitably to me and others. It was the definition of a toxic friendship.
Some people must be loved safely from afar.
Larry Taunton and Christopher Hitchens were good friends. Larry a Christian apologist and Christopher a famous atheist.
Plus Christopher also developed a relationship with The theologian Douglas Wilson.
Of course, opposing viewpoint people can become closely bonded.
Because eventually God intervenes, and that becomes the tape the glue is Velcro that connects and they don’t even realize it.
LOVE=GOD
There is no need to push anything on anybody just warm, loving thoughts and discussions and will help and God will do the rest.
Did Hitchens convert before he died..?
Doesn't sound like it really helped much.
I agree with SOME of your sentiments, but you kind of imply that faith and submission to Christ is sort of secondary, which is dangerous.
Be friend-LY with everyone, and maybe even form strong bonds with non-believers, but you should not get involved with those who live dengerate lifestyles or have hostile feelings toward the faith or God Himself.
My best friend is a non-Christian, an agnostic I think! She fully appreciates I am a Catholic and seems to be happy when I go to Church! She seems to like Christian content when I share it.
She has fostered/adopted orphans and seems to be a better Christian than me in that she is more generous.
When your non Christian friends drag you down in your journey to following Jesus, you don’t need those friends. I recently met a non Christian couple and instantly knew I won’t be friends with them.
@B A we call those Sunday Christians.
can you describe a nonchristian that you can go along with them?
@MAYA Expert if they respect your faith and don't live completely dengerate lives... I think it's fine. But that's just me.
Lots of well-adjusted and respectful people who are just agnostic to the existence of God. I think one can tell if someone is a bad influence almost right away, in most cases.
@@OrthoLou I absolutely agree with you
This past year I’ve been deepening in my catholic faith. I’ve been doing lots of reading attending mass every Sunday, praying the rosary every day. Some of my friends are Christian others atheist. I find that I really don’t have anybody to talk to about my Catholic faith and I need to find some Catholic friends because what’s important to me now is not some thing that I feel comfortable sharing with my current friends.
I dont have religious beliefs, so there's simply no need to have this question. I never would turn down the oppurtunity to befriend people outside of my familiarity zone.
Oddly, some of best friendships in the past were with non-Christians; they respected my opinions & beliefs and I respected theirs.
Sadly put predictably, my worst encounters were with non-Catholics and Muslims
😉
“He said not, 'Intermix not with unbelievers,' but rather dealing sharply with them, as transgressing what was right, 'Suffer not yourselves to turn aside,' says he, For what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity?”
-St. John Chrysostom on 2nd Cor. 6:14
If I might offer my personal opinion, I think it’s primarily an issue of not being taken up by the ethics of unbelief, not insulating ourselves from unbelievers - one kind friend can change our hearts - I think this might have been the point you were also trying to make, but I can’t say for sure
In any case, good video as usual Brian!
When Christ spoke his parables to his followers, he demonstrated a profound understanding that transcended their faith or ethnicity. His teachings were not bound by the limitations of social divisions, be it Greek, Roman, Canaanite, Amorite, or any other group. Christ's message of love and compassion encompassed all individuals, regardless of their background. He saw the inherent worth and potential in every person, recognizing that building genuine friendships beyond religious boundaries, one could effectively convey the transformative power of Christ's love and lead others to Christianity.
It is essential to recognize that isolating ourselves from those who do not share our beliefs hinders our ability to manifest the love of Christ in their lives. By reaching out to non-Christians and establishing meaningful connections, we open doors for them to witness the profound impact of Christ's teachings firsthand. It is through genuine friendships and sincere interactions that we can effectively communicate the essence of Christ's message and inspire others to seek a relationship with Him. Therefore, our commitment to sharing the love of Christ should transcend religious affiliations, enabling us to extend his kindness, understanding, and acceptance to all individuals we encounter on our journey of faith.
Totally agree! What does it say about our faith is we have to isolate it from the real world. Whether or not we are comfortable with it, the world is bigger than just Christianity, and we have to connect with everyone and help them understand the Gospel through our actions. Orthopraxy is more effective and useful than orthodoxy.
Great question, Brian. I’ve had to drop friends because of different beliefs and that makes me sad. But I will say they couldn’t hear my beliefs and I was barraged with their beliefs. Both sides suffer I think. But, I decide to be yoked with believers. God bless.
Having friends from other faiths can be wonderful, but take it from a child of an interreligious couple: if raising children in your faith is important, don't date outside of your religion.
Should isn't a good question. Should is prescriptive, it's an opinion. The question is *can* you. It requires defining what a friend is. To answer would be too long and off topic, but here is a single line item: A friend is not a shepherd leading livestock. If that's all you see people who don't share your beliefs as: lost, sick beasts fumbling in the darkness; you cannot be those people's friends, because you hold them in contempt.
i'm an atheist of jewish descent in my 60s. one of my close friends (also in her 60s) is an evangelical christian. when we met in our 20s, religion or lack-of was not an issue between us. we had shared interests back then and become close buddies. now, she's much more into christianity than when we met and formed our friendship and we still love and cherish each other and focus on what unites, rather than divides us. i have no kids by choice, she is raising 10 christian kids. it still works for us.
Superimposing the categories of "wicked" and "unbeliever" is a dreadful sophism.
Nay. We should also be careful with "cafeteria" catholics.
How does one deal with non Catholic study and work environments then? Avoiding cafeteria Catholics is fairly easy with a good parish. But we don't have Catholic States anymore
Are you really chosing your friends? Most of the time it just a product of your environment most often school or workplace. I don't see the problem as long as they are not actively against the faith.
You should be around people who hold the same level of standards as you, that’s important. However, your religious beliefs/ lack of beliefs etc, don’t need to come into the picture unless your desire is to convert people. If you’re worried that people that don’t share your beliefs will influence you then perhaps your belief system wasn’t that strong in the first place. My husband and I are spiritual and we have Muslim, Christian, Hindu and atheist friends. It works because of being open minded and respecting everyone’s right to believe what they want. It’s only those who are extreme and need to save that can’t handle friendships outside their beliefs.
I appreciate your comment. I'm an atheist but have always had an interest in theology. One of my closest friends is a Christian with a strong belief and attends church regularly. We are very different in a lot of ways but we connected through our charity work and shared interest in philosophy. From my point of view it's great to have friends with different beliefs to explore ideas with. It would be a shame if being friends with me would be viewed as something negative for her.
Amazing video! I've learned something important: You don't have to be friends with someone to show them love! I find that profoundly important. It highlights the importance of giving with no reward expectations. Also, I really liked the difference you pointed about Jesus: He treated repented people with kindness, and the prideful ones, He simply walk away or told them the truth... Thank you so much for this video!
I somewhat disagree. I think we have to have the ability to bridge the gap in understanding between ourselves. I am comfortable enough in my faith. I have seen enough, read enough, my questions are satisfied and I too have not shunned outside beliefs as I don't think they are unfounded, just misled. I used to be friends with an atheist and now he's a Christian trying to discover more about the faith and about God, he used to drink hard and do drugs when I was friends with him as I've been friends with him since we were 4 and we are in our mid 20's now. Our faith has and can stand up to the test, it has stood up to ridicule and criticism and in this modern age we still have Christians of all experiences and walks of life.
With that said, I agree that there is a danger in to be had in being friends with these people, but if your faith isn't taken seriously to begin with. I think the bigger danger is being friends with people going through the same struggles as you as on the one hand you might encourage each other to greater heights or you might bring each other down. If you have an issue with keeping your lust in check, maybe have a bit more distance from prostitutes, if you have a drug problem, maybe have a bit of distance from drug dealers
Excellent discussion. I think we love our dis functional/sinful neighbor by firstly not hating them and by praying for them and their salvation… all at a safe distance.
I’ve noticed a trend in this comment section, people are justifying how “harmless” their friendship with unbelievers has been. Without applying the wisdom of God and acknowledging the influence that comes with these associations.
It would be difficult to be a fully devoted person to God and still be friendship with non believers as it requires you to water your values and beliefs down to accommodate them.
Actually this video, need to be watched by all youths, not just Christian youths.
Thankyou gentle man.
I should have watched this 5 years before,
Iam soo tierd of nurchuring all peoples from my neighbourhood to internet and feeding feeding..ended up being nowhere both careerwise and personally
❤thankful for this video.
Love your videos Brian. ❤
Thank you so much for this one!! I've been tormented by this question for such a long time and now I've found all the answers in your video. Finally feeling at peace with myself and the friendship decisions I had to make. ❤
I’m certainly glad that my Christian friends didn’t give up on me when I was an atheist. To not be friends with these people for your own benefit could be selfish.
Some of these comments seem to be responding only to the title of the video. Brian in the video references points of virtue much more than merely do you categorize as Christian or non-Christian.
I want everyone to be Catholic, but I understand those not raised as Christians can still have a code of ethics they live by that is very similar to what Christianity teaches. I think they may have indirectly been raised on values that originate from Christianity without even knowing it. Therefore, as Catholics, we should always encourage others to know our Lord, but not just avoid interaction merely on not being categorized Christian.
Unfortunately, the best people (high in "natural virtue", if you say) I meet were outside the Church.
And I include from radtrads to charismatics and everything in between.
Ironically, the best catholic friends I have are non-vinculated to any particular apostolate: they just go to the Sunday mass and try to live the commandments somehow.
I was targeted by envious and narcisistic behaviour *far* more frequently from catholics than from non-catholics.
To be fair, the filter for non-catholics was much more rigorous, I assumed good-faith and general goodness from the people working on catholic apostolates - that's the most holy work, so people must be holier by default - boy, I was wrong!
Friend? Sure. But inner circle, I don't even let some Christians into my inner circle.
Like you said, "Exercise prudence." And I'll add the advice to continually ask the Holy Spirit for that virtue.
Thank you for your words of wisdom taken from Scripture and good writers. It used to be the case in my part of the world as we grew up that we were a minority among all the population both at school and later in the adult world. So finding a good catholic friend was almost impossible. It still is there. But interestingly as we’ve moved to a once-Christian country, which I believe is where you’re from too, Brian, I witness the paganism here increasing at an alarming rate! And so my young adult sons and my husband are landed with the same fate as we had back in our land of birth. Especially in our so called “Catholic” public schools where I happen to work, good luck finding ANY truly catholic friend! Thanks to post Christian wokism within our own curriculums and our “training” as staff!! So what’s at stake here is our having fewer and fewer friends and deep friendships, and our lives are directed to more of “evangelizing” of our so called catholic co-workers and students. And it would be necessary to mention that evangelizing has its consequences, thanks to the very aggressive wokism among the unionized staff, the secularism prevalent among families, which has manifested as open minds and souls to the occult among the children, and our evangelization is “increasingly intolerable” to them. Martyrdom is on the horizon☺️ no chances of finding enriching friendships it seems 😄 However to be honest, very few are still to be found if we can discern, from the people we meet or come across.
Excellent! Thank you, Brian. ❤
Excellent intro Brian!
I find your use of 1 Corinthians 5 to justify your position (at 5:19) to be rather misleading. If you read the whole passage with context, Paul specifically excludes non-Christians:
> I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people --- not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler-not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
The hardest friendships I've discovered concern the one's who have a form of godliness but whom deny the Deity of Christ. Some believe that religion serves a purpose, but they don't believe in a "personal" God, or Jesus. They use foul language, and it's really difficult to be around them, they get angry when I bring up my "personal" Jesus. There are times when that person would apologize to me, but not much times passes before the profanity starts up again. On the other hand, there are those that preach that Christians should not marry non-Christians. I recall in God's Word how the pharisee's ridiculed Jesus for sitting with tax collectors and sinners, but why weren't the religious leaders of the day sitting with Him. They called Him "good", they called Him "True", but ultimately nailed Him to the cross for His good deeds that annoyed them. God's Word clearly says that marriage is good for all, the wedding bed kept undefiled. It also says that if an unbeliever is willing to live with a Believer, let them not divorce, but if the unbeliever departs then the believer is not under bondage. The reason, "For who knows wife, whether you will save your husband, and who knows husband whether you will save your wife?
I think the verse ends with a question mark for a reason, because the "yoke" God is talking about is not a reference to "marriage" but to one's faith, not to be unequally yoked, meaning, if you are a believer, and a non-believer is willing to marry you, your faith in Christ must be greater than their faith in the world, or they will convert you away from Christ. God's Word is dividing our families before we even get to the wedding ceremony, how can we be self-righteous to assume we can't marry someone who does not believe of whom is willing to marry a "Believer".
I think the overall point, is that someone who is truly against God will not marry someone whose life is in accordance with God's Word. An unbeliever who is willing to marry a Christian, well, it must be love, and love is the fulfillment of all the laws of the Prophets, as those who sat with Jesus didn't hate Him enough NOT to sit with Him. What are your thoughts?
I live in Germany. None of my "Catholic" acquaintances know what catholicism is, they are basically baptized pagan/atheists. In Mass, all priests I've seen are liberal and support the heresies you already know about. I met just some days ago a "catholic" that was complaining his homeland (Poland) wasn't very open to abortion and sexual perversity. I really do believe I probably will never meet strong Catholic people, and if it weren't for some great Catholic youtube channels, I'd be a worse Catholic myself.
I have been unfriended, but rejection is expected as a true believer of Jesus.
Wasn't G.K. Chesterton's best friend a militant athiest?
My goodness. I increasingly feel so sorry for Christians as they constantly remove themselves from true human experience. As an atheist, I treasure my friendships with Christians and Buddhists (alas, no Muslims or Hindus in my area). We all have respectful conversations about spiritual/philosophical things. I have no need to try to talk them out of their faith. In fact, because I read apologetics and some of them don’t, I often give stronger arguments for their faith than what they know. Sadly, many of my Christian friends feel the need to sneak in some Jesus and try to win me over. But I have no problem with than. It’s just sad that Christians feel the need. None of my closest and dearest friends is an atheist. Some are Christians, one is a Buddhist. These are the humans in earth who understand me most and who are dearest to me of all things.
Brian’s perspective is skewed. Rather than are they Christian, are they atheist, what can’t we look at our friends as, are they a truth seeker?
I’m a Catholic, like a pretty intense one at that, and I would agree with you that this video seems to come across as promoting an insular and almost cloistered type of life.
And in a world where ppl already feel so isolated… I have to wonder what good this will do other than give some Catholics “permission” to cut off friendship.
I love the friends god has placed in my life, and hardly any of them believe like I do. They see my spiritual blind spots, as being outside my tradition allows them a wider scope, and vice versa.
@@soniarai2059 ❤️ Right? Iron sharpens iron. I definitely won’t be challenged by my atheist friends (and agnostic might be a better term for me depending how one defines terms). If I am errant in my thinking I want someone who cares about me to challenge me or enlighten me on that. True friendship respects and there is no threat. I still love theology and do a lot of reading, so have that in common as well. Cheers!
@@soniarai2059 The women's group I participate in at my Catholic Church had a similar discussion last night as we were talking about the 3 temptations of Christ while he was in the desert. We also talked about the priests who hid themselves away in caves so as not to be corrupted by common people. We came away with the idea that it's both necessary to face the temptations of our world - in this case secular friends - but also to retreat into solitude or surrounding oneself with only fellow practicing Catholics to gain strength, fortitude, wisdom and guidance. Overall as I age (I'm 60 now) I can't lie to myself and say my secular friendships will ever get very deep. Sweet people - yes, but not helpful in saving. my soul.
Hi Bigidea, I’m a Christian and while you feel sorry for some of us Christian’s there’s no real need to do so. I had friends who would cut your throat to get ahead, friends who were megalomaniacs, coked up every weekend , serial adulterers, sex addicts and worse, I grew up with these people, Christianity gave me the tools and discernment to move away from these people as they corrupted me also , Christianity brought me towards friends who had a commonality in virtue and righteousness. On a point that you say some of your Christian friends try to “sneak in Jesus” if you read on evangelism as you mentioned, then don’t you know that Christianity is based on Jesus, isn’t to “sneak” Jesus in then like saying let’s talk about boxing but don’t sneak Muhammad Ali into the conversation! 🙏
@@meanoldbag I think all my friendships where people showed up for me during my darkest times are deeper than anything any shared church life could forge. My fiancé died four years ago, and I didn’t realize life could ever lead to such a place of despair (grief)
I also didn’t realize that people would follow after me to that dark dark place, and while some of them were Catholic, many of them were not. But they followed me to the depths and the light of God shone through all of them… believers and unbelievers alike
I think facing the trials of life together forges stronger friendships than theology or “shared” beliefs ever can. The spirit indwells in people in ways we can’t imagine and who knows who is actually a member of that “invisible church” which is building God’s kingdom in ways our eyes and minds cannot perceive
Thank you for your insight
As an atheist, why not??
Jesus befriended all kinds of people without regard to whether they were Jews, pagans or whatever. Your 'job,' so to speak, is to glorify God with your life so that others, seeing your good works, will give glory to God the Father. What must be avoided at all costs is any relationship that depends on you acting contrary to your faith. Going to the margins to seek out the lost is what discipleship is all about.
I just ended up around some unbelievers. I usually dont do that nowdays. I have felt ill since. At ease and physically. Something to be learned from. I don't want to hear about their secular interests, nor do I want to stroke my ego by saying im there to show them love and the way, as some videos are saying. To be friendly and 'get along' means to have to agree with what they say, at least to some extent. I got to hear about satanic musicians, see people drunk and tattooed with dark things, see people who seem mentally ill talk about their counseling work with children. I pretended with everyone else that the man in a dress named sophia was a normal thing. A seemingly nirmal man had painted red nails. I did not hate any of them. Does to be yoked mean even to socialize and eat with someone? I need to pray now for some clarity and for them and myself. Secular society is really distrubing.
Sorry, Brian, but I can't agree with you on this video. When I was a kid (I'm 77 y.o. now), the Catholics I grew up with were Irish-Americans whose only form of socializing was to be perched on a barstool, knocking down beers, and watching the ballgame on TV. To make friends with people I wanted to be around, I had to expand my social circle to include friends who were not Catholic.
Technically not Wrong as you chose your Friends Wisely.
He's actually wrong with his new testament in this video corinthians actually says not to eat with hypocritical Christians not sinful unbelievers. And it says not to be UNEQUALLY yoked with unbelievers in reference to when a stronger animal was yoked to a weaker one and the plough veired off to one side.
I think Brian has made some good distinctions. Thank you.
I think the bible indicates there's a middle ground, throughout scripture it urges us to be careful who we form relationships with. On the other hand we are not to required to avoid unbelievers all together "else you must needs go out of the world" and "if an unbeliever invite you to a feast"
What about the good-willed friends who need to be shown slowly and gradually that they're living a sinful lifestyle? For instance, those who have a strong sense of morality, but who have fallen victim to new age ideas.
What about friends you have established since childhood? Can you continue them (albeit with firm conviction to abide by true doctrine, profess the truth, and not pray with them)? Or must you cut them off?
Thank u, that helped me tremendously!
Didnt watch the video yet. I think as long as the person isnt viceful or promote vices, theres nothing wrong with associating with them regardless of their faith.
I have had to turn my back on our local Church literally around the corner from our house and travel 50 mins down the road. Because majority of the kids that go there are only going to stamp their book. They need over 15 stamps of Sunday Mass attendance to receive 1st holy communion. The parents talk about going to mass in a negative context and im assuming their children will learn from their parents.
It's a tough call because apart from the luke warm faith we have a good community here. Many parents know each other and we have a lot of friends here. I want to be the example for them to deepen in their faith but not at the cost of mh childrens faith.
5:12 Actually it says don't be UNEQUALLY yoked with unbelievers. This is a reference to when a stronger animal was yoked to a weaker one they would veir off to one side.
Theres my boss im friends with him because he enjoys listening to me talk about the Lord and his word. And i believe i am helping him get closer. His wife already is. But my other friend have fully rejected christ and told me that they wanna move further from God just because i was talking about his word and the other one told me he wanted to move further from me because of it. So ive decided to separate from them but love them still from a far
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”[e] 34 Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God-I say this to your shame.
It's really tough when your own family is made up of non-believers...are you supposed to cut ties with them too? Then I would have no friends and no family, because true Catholics are few and far between where I am.
Don't worry. Family is something you can't chose but friends. Honour your parents, love everyone and chose your friends wisely.
My immediate family (meaning parents and siblings) ranges from Cafeteria-Catholics to full-on athiests, and I love all of them to death, so I get it.
Just don't let them drag you down, even if it means they get upset with you over certain things (I had some of them get angry at me for saying I would not attend a same sex wedding, regardless of whose it was).
If they respect your faith and you don't feel pressured to compromise your morals, and the love is mutual, you should be fine.
Agreed.
That was a good one. Thank you..
Always a friend will be a help or deterrent to heaven. I have Holy prayerful friends who encourage me through life. But also some that I help and pray for.... They are victims of a dark world and desire the light.
Wat if I try to tell ‘em about God and they ask me why do you want to convert me so bad ? Or let’s change the topic , or always shakes their head
Gently plant the seed and walk away. They know where to find you and a church, when and if they're interested. Pushing is the worst way to try get someone to see your viewpoint.
What if your own wife became unrepentant sinner? You can't abandon her without breaking the oath/sacrament
I guess that's different than friendship because you're now bound to her from the promise you made before God.
The best you can do is pray for her and try your best to bring her back.
C.S. Lewis' idea of the four types of love is not doctrinal. Lewis wasn't even Catholic; he was Anglican. His ideas also have many glaring holes in them. I don't think Catholics should be so quick to accept them as foundational.
I don’t think there’s an issue with having non Christian friends. I have 2 Muslim friends and they’re good people.
To me, it matters on who they are as a person, and not what they believe in.
My whole family are unbelievers, except one sister. But the ones I live with, because they cannot see my experiences with the Lord, they think medicine will help better than He can 😂. They're trying their best, lord bless their hearts, but I honestly think they have no clue what is going on in the world. I'm pretty sure they're oblivious to the pharmakeia vicious cycle when it comes to mental issues. I'm also pretty sure they have no clue of His power. I have an addiction issue, where each time I feel like doing something productive with my self, the addiction slips into my mind, I pray it away. It goes away. I told a family member that abstinence is the end goal of psychiatry when dealing with addiction, and I'm already there through the Lord, bless His gracious mercy on me. But she just ignored me and didn't want to hear it, so walked away. How do I deal with people like these? It's driving me up the wall!
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers
Actually it says don't be UNEQUALLY yoked with unbelievers. This is a reference to when a stronger animal was yoked to a weaker one they would veir off to one side.
My whole life i never really chose my friends....they just came to me and tried to befriend me. They were all pothead losers. So i became one too. Now i chose my friends.
It wouldnt surprise me if satan used friendship to get close to you and tear you apart from the inside.
Love is willing the good of the other. It's caring for another's well being, however, that manifests.
Friendship is a close association among equals.
You can love someone without being a pal.
With that said, I wouldn't restrict association to people who believe the same as me, since that topic might never come up in a significant way. Religious Catholics can be awful. And non-Catholics can be holy.
No, it's not advised to hang out with people who have a negative influence. Case by case.
As a "Catholic come home," I am learning that words have different means when used philosophically or theologically. I'm constantly asking myself what basic words mean such as love, grace, belief, faith, etc. It's hard to come to grips with sometimes.
So don't be friends with non believers because we are so weak they will eventually turn us, then they won't see our lives, faith or example? Will do. I regret my deep friendships that resulted in conversion.