How to STOP attracting low-value men
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- the formula for a STRESS-FREE dating life? Here it is. In this video, I break down my tried and true, 3 part formula for a stress-free dating life. The first part is day 1 receptivity. That means, being receptive from day 1. If a man shows interest in you and you share a mutual interest, be receptive to his pursuit. Give him the green light. Do not play it cool, this only attracts low-value men who LOVE a chase. Part 2 is embodiment. BEING hard to get vs. PLAYING hard to get. Embodiment is silent action and Playing is verbal. When you just are, you don't need to prove anything with your words. You just are. When you are playing a role, you feel the need to scream your "standards and boundaries" to make sure the other person hears you, because you don't really hear you. You aren't embodied in them, you don't trust yourself. Part 3 is warmth. When you have real standards, you know it takes more than a couple of nice dates and cute flowers to win you over, so you can take the sweet gesture with warmth. You can be vulnerable because you know your heart is guarded. You have all the requirements in place. You trust yourself. If you want more free level-up game, sub :)❤️
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Keywords: feminine energy, strong boundaries, financial security, dating, detachment, magnetic energy, well-being, peace, empowerment, personal growth, how to be magnetic, self-interest, dream self, emotional regulation, self-worth, that girl,seeking validation,how to validate yourself,external validation,male validation,stop people pleasing,chasing others,chasing validation,grow your self worth,how to improve self worth,validate yourself sis,insecure,self doubt,people pleaser,chasing men,emotional validation,how to be more secure in yourself,be more independent,level up,self development,stop waiting for people,self love,how to be a confident woman,confident women
A confident person moves in silence, their aura will speak for themselves
I had a crush on someone at work…he was quiet and kind and laid back. But everyday I had 2 low quality losers hitting on me (they were body builders and quite handsome but had zero respect for women) perving on me and being disgusting. I would put my foot down and tell them you don’t get to talk to me this way. You don’t get to call me names like ‘sweetie, hottie, darling, baby’ I would kick these pervs to the curb and always stick up for myself and my boundaries. The guy I had a crush on saw me do this. Saw me stick up for myself and be strong in my boundaries. It drew him to me even more. He secretly had a crush on me too but I didn’t know. Me sticking up for myself against the pervs actually made him come out of his shy shell towards me, he would make jokes with me about it and he got very protective towards me. Many times he would tell them off without me even knowing it and if one of them was bitching about me being a bitch “sticking up for myself” he would put them in their place and tell them to never disrespect me or talk bad of me again. I didn’t know this until a work friend told me. Anyway….me having boundaries drew him into me even more, he loved how strong I was and he spend 1 year getting to know me respectfully and kindly before proposing to me and now we are married living our happy life. He knows I don’t accept less than and he has always know it. He treats me like the queen I am and I treat him like a king too, I compliment him and care for him too.
Ok, I see...
He saw those guys and probably thought u like that external validation from men. Which shy men will see as being kinda WH0ring or thotty, and they know theyre not exciting enough for thots. Once he saw you didnt like it, as he didnt like it for you, then yall were on the same page, and he could see youre not like most wmn these days looking for external validation, that gave him confidence to move forward.
Guessing yall are under 30... lol because this is how the dating market is now, young men making sure wmn arent LIVING FOR LIKES. But hes wise, because as a wmn I have to do the same, look for men who arent addicted to external female validation, past age 40 with some really hot men, its hard because yes their ADDICTED to it.
That is attractive in a woman
Awww that was such a great story. Always stay happy guys
Wow that's a great happy ending ❤wishing you both lifetime of togetherness...
Actions show who they are, words show who they want to be. Actions over words always.
This just reminded me of something! This book called “The Art of Seductive Power by Juliet Arden”. My confidence shifted in a whole new way.
Watching this at work like Vickita is my college professor.
I don’t play hard to get, I AM.
😂😂😂 sure
I have the same problem and I think it’s because I’m too scared to be vulnerable at the beginning. I’d love more videos on how to be comfortable being vulnerable and what the warmth and vulnerability looks like
Yess same
so real
Seriously!
Youre not alone because me too
I second this.
Wow this is true. I'm
Going through this now and I have to figure out a new "chase me" strategy daily just to receive the love and attention I need. It's a bad plan. It's tiring and not growing real love and commitment for us. I see that now. Thanks!
You are such a refreshment for eyes and ears dear Vickita. Everything you say is sooooo true !!! Kepp doing great work!
greetings from Croatia!
Loved the video, was definitely taking notes 📝🥰.
A few questions,
1. When she said “when every guy that approaches you think they have a chance, then your standards are way too low”.
So If a woman gets approached alot bc she is attractive(let’s say), does that mean that every guy that approaches her thinks that they have a chance? And if so, how can she carry herself in such a way that doesn’t present that kind of idea
2. How can I communicate my worth(how to treat me) without saying a word? How do I communicate that with my actions? Examples would be nice
I'm not a professional but I will state my views for question 2
2). I'm usually a very open loud person When something is being said that doesn't align with my views or self-worth I shift my body language and facial expressions (which people can also assume that I was not comfortable from what was being said....if they don't fix themselves then you pull away ) if I'm being asked why I am acting closed off then i say I was not comfortable with how I was being treated. Not always romantic can also be platonic.
Another Vickita gem. Thank you. Being means doing which leads us down the path to having.
Thank you❤
It’s true ! When I stepped into my dark feminine and self worth the type of men that I attracted before wouldn’t like me now and I wouldn’t like them either lol
THANK YOU OMG this video helped me so much bc I’m a 19 year old college freshman and I met a cute guy at my church group and I feel like I should ask him out but I’ve heard that’s not feminine? And since gaining pretty privilege, many guys hold doors open for me and flirt with me but should I act like I don’t care and be selfish?
Dating overall is a literal maze these days so I thank you for this video, sincerely. Also if anyone else wanna give me dating advice that’d be spectacular lol
Omg I saw you earlier! You replied to my comment! I'm just starting to practice the spoiled girlie concepts, and my biggest roadblock is family, but I'm actually married to an amazing man. He tells me all the time I should put up stronger boundaries with them, and he's right.
Okay so, hopefully this advice helps. But yes, be selfish, but kind and warm. Give service to yourself and expect service from men. As in the thumbnail, he should be guiding you and holding doors, helping you with your shoes, planning thoughtful dates (maybe not expensive at your age, but definitely with work and thought behind them) which he will pay for (definitely bring your wallet just in case. Pay politely and do not talk to him again if he makes you pay for your meal). If he's a good man and you have pretty privilege, don't sweat it. He may just be planning a thoughtful way to ask you out. If he doesn't, there are other men who will. Just keep living your soft life knowing that there is an abundance of good men who are looking for a gorgeous, soft woman to date and make an effort for.
@@RP-uu7oq heyy if you could pls help me out too, i'll be really thankful.
I am in college too and as guys have not yet reached the earning stage and neither of us earn...I feel like splitting will be more thoughful. Though i want to be spoiled and treated as the feminine. I feel so confused :(
@@winsomesoul1158 I got with my husband in high school, so I didn't have to experience this, but from what I've heard, essentially you should focus on you and earning an education and investments to support yourself, and the men will come in time.
Alternatives are dating older men or using your discretion to find someone thoughtful and driven for success. If they're thoughtful, you know they will do their part for you when they do start earning. If they're driven, you know they will work toward success. Just be sure they work toward their own success, and that they don't imply in any way that you should contribute to their future. A good man will want you to save for your own future protection. They understand your value and vulnerability. I hope this helps!
What you said about the "low value" men is wiseness.its truth lmfaooo they really love the chase, yet they also couldnt ever treat anyone right and be right for anyone
I think you are the only girl who gives real advice. I actually find what I am looking for in your channel unlike so many other girls. Thanks
That means so much. I'll continue to show up with real, practical value ♥️
You deserve so so much more recognition. Thank you for all of this advice
I’ve been watching and subscribing for three weeks now. Thank you for making me feel comfortable in my own skin.
i'm going to cry, why is this so helpful and reassuring
One of your best videos - simple truths, but holding immense wisdom xx
The standards are with yourself. You have standards for your own behavior. I dont behave like this with myself or anyone period not just men.
I heard a video by a man telling women that they should cook and clean and provide other sexual favors for their man if they are wanting them to think they are wife material and it's all bs. I've been doing it for over 6 months and all it's done is made him lazy unexpected. We want more on this video topic please and thank you. You are fabulous don't dog yourself
when you showing him your love by action, when you're doing all that things for him, he isn't gonna think that you're great and valuable, but he is going to feel that HE is a valuable person because why such beautiful woman like you is doing all that things for him ? he must be the best!
understanding this changed my life.
also, never ever listen to a man words. just look at their action.
men are going to think that they know what they want but in reality it is not true. i guess also women have this issue..
Congrats on the 100K 😆 love your vids, you deserve it ❤️
Wow. You need a crown you are helping women around the world!!!
This is a very good way of explaining this. Wonderful topic. Well taught here. 👏 🎉
The video outline is beautiful 😍 thank you for this!
Everything you are teaching is facts girls.
Thank you! You are the best the notes at the end, always serving looks and wisdom and being authentic and teaching in a soft way ❤ I love how honest you are about your previous mistakes and what pivots need to happen off of them. Positive pivots ❤
OMG I am really just started to searching that just yesterday couldn't find any content and you created that masterpiece thank you darling
You are great! Keep doing this.
aw great video girl!! love the notes at the end too, you’re amazing!
Exactly what I needed to hear at the start of this new year. Thank you!
Wow you are amazing. I didnt know any of these
Glad you enjoyed!
luv ur vibes girrrrl 😘
high five from Morocco
healthy & positive is the vibe
💕
Hey vickita Lovely explanation...can you please make a video on how to present a issue or any complaint in a softer way to a man so that he doesn't feel like you are blaming him and gets defensive..like how to show anger in a soft way
She did! It's an older video where she's in a car
So beautiful! So sassy! Love your vibe 💗✌️
Thank you so much!!
I don't chase or beg, I attract . If I'm interested I pursue , this ain't high school no mo😮
How do you do that?
Great video as always, I got called up especially in #2! Thanks!!
Congrats on reaching 100K!!! Love your content and always looking forward to learning from you!
Thank you so much!!! 💝
I will be keeping these tips in mind for the future! Also, the summarization and to-do list are fantastic and so helpful for the end.
You're awesome, I appreciate you so much! 💝
Love your channel, and your clear and powerful way on speaking. 💗
Hey Vickita, love your videos ! Just as a video idea - do you think you can make a video that applies to not lowering your standards during a relationship?
I realized that unlike my girl friends, I actually have never had a problem getting guys to respect me in the dating phase. I think I've always have had standards with that. I wonder if then there's a whole group of women like me that have no trouble getting a serious guy and then say, after two years things go wrong. I once asked a dating coach on social media and she said my problem is I give up my standards once it gets serious and I think this may be the case. I start " making exceptions" because now he is my "everything" LOL. I've also heard about rotational dating for marriage. Anyway, would love your two cents !
Be your standards and boundaries! Yes!
Very Informative ❤
I really appreciate your videos and I subscribed to your channel. I would like to have access to your video notes. Could you please share where are your notes ? I have look for it in the pinned comment but I am sorry, I didn't find it. Thank you for your continuous help.
your best vid yet!
You are a gem babyyyy💎
Thank u so much for the notes
thank you for this queen!
"Sobbing to The Fray at 3AM" 😢 Relatable af 😭 😆
Perfect timing... thank you! :)
I loved this. As always, thank you for sharing with us such useful information T^T I wish more girls whatch your chanel
Its so funny because I am the complete opposite I am so open and available to everyone when the truth is I have very high and inhumane standards. I need to do things differently because people keep on talking to me that I don't feel fulfilled by. 😢 i just realized when I had a vacation and was constantly around new people. Something I wasnt able to do before bc I am naturally a hermit and I dont really like talking to the same old people every single day. For some reason. Now I realized I am getting the short end of the stick with my relationships, I am only selling myself short. 😢
Can you make a video about what your standards and boundaries are with dating
Girl please do a haircut tutorial! Your laywers look flawless
Right!?
You are a TRUE GEM 💎 ✨️
Girl please start a podcast! I’m begging you!!
Love your content. Been following you for a few months now. Unrelated question, learning to edit my content. Do you use a script (teleprompter) or you ad lib and then edit? Thanks!
This is for the people who watch snippets of feminine energy advice on reels or tiktok and say “playing games to get a man is patriarchial” like what? Girlie who told you to PLAY games and most importantly PLAY games to GET a man?? Like.
We’re trying to tell you how to filter out men, not to GET them. Men being attracted to you should be the default. Now… if you notice that no man is pursuing you then get your notes and learn feminine energy from zero.
This is me speaking as a former masculine energy angry feminist girlboss who-dont-need-no-man, who used to wonder what i’m doing wrong because no one was pursuing me, despite always taking initiative when liking someone and willing to do 50/50
Wow you came a long way to develop self love and self acceptance. Inspirational story)
Ok, the problem was most of the time I waited for him texting me but I tried to hide the issue😢 but if a man is truly in love this doesn‘t matter but often it’s like not the one for a relationship who only plays games
Amazing video
whats your advice for someone whos never attracted anyone at all?
Are you attracted to yourself? You better be
Hello! Love your top! Can you please share outfit details?
Vickita do you have any advice for women who are living with their boyfriends turning into fiance's? For the first
every girl needs to watch this in the modern day dating scene. we’ve all been taught the bs of playing hard to get
“They’re tryna catch groupies they’re tryna catch a salmon” 😂facts
There are so many guys who just ask about your standards - cutting to the chase, what do you say to those questions lol
Thank you very much 😊
How can I convince myself of accessibility of desirable options?
I love the notes! Ty
how will i show
a guy green light?someone help me....
I wish you all the success 😇✨
Thanks for the video, but I missed the subtitles ;(
Somehow got lucky so im not in the market for a man but OHHH man i wish 10+ years ago i had this video because yikes this was me through and through
straight fax
Hey hey!!! High standards!!!! Yes!!!! xoxox Green light!!!
I love you
Thank u thank u I
As a man, my 2cents is to be a bit more obvious in showing signs of interest.
A girl's signal can be so subtle, i have no idea so I'm not going to waste my time expending unnecessary energy.
You're so so beautiful ma sha Allah
Could you please make a series of videos for gay people? (The passive one who has more feminine energies.)
It would be really really helpful to deal with toxic guys who just manipulate people having submissive nature but they want a genuine partner
What video?
❤
🔝
U got A cups watchu talm bout
Just a guy trying to be the perfect man by taking notes
We love this
ok dear high value woman why do you sit on the floor 😂😂😂
You dropped this 17 hrs ago, I have been pondering this since yesterday, its disgusting already, he doesnt stop xdd
I used to have a scarce mindset
This is soooo true
This is 100k worthy content
Listening to you worked. Idk how to explain it but I love you so much. Thank you for caring enuff about women to share your wisdom we appreciate you more than u will ever understand 🥲I love it here
We sbould just dispose the low value men, like one has been harassing me for a month already, I already said "No"
Yeessss, facts
I gt ADHD, what they get is my hyperfocus
Trueeee
God i like u so much for explaining things very clearly.
the world need more honest sisters like you to learn new things,to set boundries 🤍