How to STOP attracting low-value men

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  • Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
  • the formula for a STRESS-FREE dating life? Here it is. In this video, I break down my tried and true, 3 part formula for a stress-free dating life. The first part is day 1 receptivity. That means, being receptive from day 1. If a man shows interest in you and you share a mutual interest, be receptive to his pursuit. Give him the green light. Do not play it cool, this only attracts low-value men who LOVE a chase. Part 2 is embodiment. BEING hard to get vs. PLAYING hard to get. Embodiment is silent action and Playing is verbal. When you just are, you don't need to prove anything with your words. You just are. When you are playing a role, you feel the need to scream your "standards and boundaries" to make sure the other person hears you, because you don't really hear you. You aren't embodied in them, you don't trust yourself. Part 3 is warmth. When you have real standards, you know it takes more than a couple of nice dates and cute flowers to win you over, so you can take the sweet gesture with warmth. You can be vulnerable because you know your heart is guarded. You have all the requirements in place. You trust yourself. If you want more free level-up game, sub :)❤️
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    Keywords: feminine energy, strong boundaries, financial security, dating, detachment, magnetic energy, well-being, peace, empowerment, personal growth, how to be magnetic, self-interest, dream self, emotional regulation, self-worth, that girl,seeking validation,how to validate yourself,external validation,male validation,stop people pleasing,chasing others,chasing validation,grow your self worth,how to improve self worth,validate yourself sis,insecure,self doubt,people pleaser,chasing men,emotional validation,how to be more secure in yourself,be more independent,level up,self development,stop waiting for people,self love,how to be a confident woman,confident women

Комментарии • 126

  • @EmilyAnneMarie
    @EmilyAnneMarie Год назад +140

    A confident person moves in silence, their aura will speak for themselves

  • @RomanaQueenLove
    @RomanaQueenLove Год назад +159

    I had a crush on someone at work…he was quiet and kind and laid back. But everyday I had 2 low quality losers hitting on me (they were body builders and quite handsome but had zero respect for women) perving on me and being disgusting. I would put my foot down and tell them you don’t get to talk to me this way. You don’t get to call me names like ‘sweetie, hottie, darling, baby’ I would kick these pervs to the curb and always stick up for myself and my boundaries. The guy I had a crush on saw me do this. Saw me stick up for myself and be strong in my boundaries. It drew him to me even more. He secretly had a crush on me too but I didn’t know. Me sticking up for myself against the pervs actually made him come out of his shy shell towards me, he would make jokes with me about it and he got very protective towards me. Many times he would tell them off without me even knowing it and if one of them was bitching about me being a bitch “sticking up for myself” he would put them in their place and tell them to never disrespect me or talk bad of me again. I didn’t know this until a work friend told me. Anyway….me having boundaries drew him into me even more, he loved how strong I was and he spend 1 year getting to know me respectfully and kindly before proposing to me and now we are married living our happy life. He knows I don’t accept less than and he has always know it. He treats me like the queen I am and I treat him like a king too, I compliment him and care for him too.

    • @absolute-6664urazz
      @absolute-6664urazz 11 месяцев назад +7

      Ok, I see...
      He saw those guys and probably thought u like that external validation from men. Which shy men will see as being kinda WH0ring or thotty, and they know theyre not exciting enough for thots. Once he saw you didnt like it, as he didnt like it for you, then yall were on the same page, and he could see youre not like most wmn these days looking for external validation, that gave him confidence to move forward.
      Guessing yall are under 30... lol because this is how the dating market is now, young men making sure wmn arent LIVING FOR LIKES. But hes wise, because as a wmn I have to do the same, look for men who arent addicted to external female validation, past age 40 with some really hot men, its hard because yes their ADDICTED to it.

    • @paulcolin9071
      @paulcolin9071 9 месяцев назад +2

      That is attractive in a woman

    • @Nash_Aurora
      @Nash_Aurora 5 месяцев назад +1

      Awww that was such a great story. Always stay happy guys

    • @skincarerainbow
      @skincarerainbow 3 месяца назад

      Wow that's a great happy ending ❤wishing you both lifetime of togetherness...

  • @fembot521
    @fembot521 Год назад +57

    Actions show who they are, words show who they want to be. Actions over words always.

  • @amarraa.l1
    @amarraa.l1 3 месяца назад +159

    This just reminded me of something! This book called “The Art of Seductive Power by Juliet Arden”. My confidence shifted in a whole new way.

  • @bubblesnsugar
    @bubblesnsugar Год назад +117

    Watching this at work like Vickita is my college professor.

  • @MedusssssaChristo
    @MedusssssaChristo Год назад +38

    I don’t play hard to get, I AM.

    • @terranezey
      @terranezey 6 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂 sure

  • @katarinacestmoi
    @katarinacestmoi Год назад +81

    I have the same problem and I think it’s because I’m too scared to be vulnerable at the beginning. I’d love more videos on how to be comfortable being vulnerable and what the warmth and vulnerability looks like

  • @Wisdomforthehour
    @Wisdomforthehour 11 месяцев назад +3

    Wow this is true. I'm
    Going through this now and I have to figure out a new "chase me" strategy daily just to receive the love and attention I need. It's a bad plan. It's tiring and not growing real love and commitment for us. I see that now. Thanks!

  • @inesgolubic73
    @inesgolubic73 Год назад +40

    You are such a refreshment for eyes and ears dear Vickita. Everything you say is sooooo true !!! Kepp doing great work!
    greetings from Croatia!

  • @luv2luvya4ever
    @luv2luvya4ever 11 месяцев назад +6

    Loved the video, was definitely taking notes 📝🥰.
    A few questions,
    1. When she said “when every guy that approaches you think they have a chance, then your standards are way too low”.
    So If a woman gets approached alot bc she is attractive(let’s say), does that mean that every guy that approaches her thinks that they have a chance? And if so, how can she carry herself in such a way that doesn’t present that kind of idea
    2. How can I communicate my worth(how to treat me) without saying a word? How do I communicate that with my actions? Examples would be nice

    • @basichepzy4370
      @basichepzy4370 10 месяцев назад +1

      I'm not a professional but I will state my views for question 2
      2). I'm usually a very open loud person When something is being said that doesn't align with my views or self-worth I shift my body language and facial expressions (which people can also assume that I was not comfortable from what was being said....if they don't fix themselves then you pull away ) if I'm being asked why I am acting closed off then i say I was not comfortable with how I was being treated. Not always romantic can also be platonic.

  • @Naomily
    @Naomily Год назад +12

    Another Vickita gem. Thank you. Being means doing which leads us down the path to having.

  • @absolute-6664urazz
    @absolute-6664urazz 11 месяцев назад +15

  • @Nare1313
    @Nare1313 Год назад +13

    It’s true ! When I stepped into my dark feminine and self worth the type of men that I attracted before wouldn’t like me now and I wouldn’t like them either lol

  • @afrofaeries
    @afrofaeries Год назад +12

    THANK YOU OMG this video helped me so much bc I’m a 19 year old college freshman and I met a cute guy at my church group and I feel like I should ask him out but I’ve heard that’s not feminine? And since gaining pretty privilege, many guys hold doors open for me and flirt with me but should I act like I don’t care and be selfish?
    Dating overall is a literal maze these days so I thank you for this video, sincerely. Also if anyone else wanna give me dating advice that’d be spectacular lol

    • @RP-uu7oq
      @RP-uu7oq Год назад +7

      Omg I saw you earlier! You replied to my comment! I'm just starting to practice the spoiled girlie concepts, and my biggest roadblock is family, but I'm actually married to an amazing man. He tells me all the time I should put up stronger boundaries with them, and he's right.
      Okay so, hopefully this advice helps. But yes, be selfish, but kind and warm. Give service to yourself and expect service from men. As in the thumbnail, he should be guiding you and holding doors, helping you with your shoes, planning thoughtful dates (maybe not expensive at your age, but definitely with work and thought behind them) which he will pay for (definitely bring your wallet just in case. Pay politely and do not talk to him again if he makes you pay for your meal). If he's a good man and you have pretty privilege, don't sweat it. He may just be planning a thoughtful way to ask you out. If he doesn't, there are other men who will. Just keep living your soft life knowing that there is an abundance of good men who are looking for a gorgeous, soft woman to date and make an effort for.

    • @winsomesoul1158
      @winsomesoul1158 Год назад +3

      ​@@RP-uu7oq​ heyy if you could pls help me out too, i'll be really thankful.
      I am in college too and as guys have not yet reached the earning stage and neither of us earn...I feel like splitting will be more thoughful. Though i want to be spoiled and treated as the feminine. I feel so confused :(

    • @RP-uu7oq
      @RP-uu7oq Год назад

      @@winsomesoul1158 I got with my husband in high school, so I didn't have to experience this, but from what I've heard, essentially you should focus on you and earning an education and investments to support yourself, and the men will come in time.
      Alternatives are dating older men or using your discretion to find someone thoughtful and driven for success. If they're thoughtful, you know they will do their part for you when they do start earning. If they're driven, you know they will work toward success. Just be sure they work toward their own success, and that they don't imply in any way that you should contribute to their future. A good man will want you to save for your own future protection. They understand your value and vulnerability. I hope this helps!

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад +18

    What you said about the "low value" men is wiseness.its truth lmfaooo they really love the chase, yet they also couldnt ever treat anyone right and be right for anyone

  • @parkyooseol93
    @parkyooseol93 9 месяцев назад +2

    I think you are the only girl who gives real advice. I actually find what I am looking for in your channel unlike so many other girls. Thanks

    • @VickitaTrivedi
      @VickitaTrivedi  9 месяцев назад +1

      That means so much. I'll continue to show up with real, practical value ♥️

  • @varqsinn
    @varqsinn 5 месяцев назад

    You deserve so so much more recognition. Thank you for all of this advice

  • @dainasworldnumbers88
    @dainasworldnumbers88 Год назад +7

    I’ve been watching and subscribing for three weeks now. Thank you for making me feel comfortable in my own skin.

  • @whitethienpoison
    @whitethienpoison 5 месяцев назад

    i'm going to cry, why is this so helpful and reassuring

  • @Borromeo377
    @Borromeo377 Год назад +4

    One of your best videos - simple truths, but holding immense wisdom xx

  • @xojorgettexo3776
    @xojorgettexo3776 Год назад +15

    The standards are with yourself. You have standards for your own behavior. I dont behave like this with myself or anyone period not just men.

  • @jjcarr6606
    @jjcarr6606 8 месяцев назад +2

    I heard a video by a man telling women that they should cook and clean and provide other sexual favors for their man if they are wanting them to think they are wife material and it's all bs. I've been doing it for over 6 months and all it's done is made him lazy unexpected. We want more on this video topic please and thank you. You are fabulous don't dog yourself

    • @thatgirl-k6d
      @thatgirl-k6d 5 месяцев назад

      when you showing him your love by action, when you're doing all that things for him, he isn't gonna think that you're great and valuable, but he is going to feel that HE is a valuable person because why such beautiful woman like you is doing all that things for him ? he must be the best!
      understanding this changed my life.

    • @thatgirl-k6d
      @thatgirl-k6d 5 месяцев назад

      also, never ever listen to a man words. just look at their action.
      men are going to think that they know what they want but in reality it is not true. i guess also women have this issue..

  • @anastasiaschultz5719
    @anastasiaschultz5719 Год назад +11

    Congrats on the 100K 😆 love your vids, you deserve it ❤️

  • @nylaknight5162
    @nylaknight5162 7 месяцев назад +1

    Wow. You need a crown you are helping women around the world!!!

  • @PureDivineMerry
    @PureDivineMerry Год назад +6

    This is a very good way of explaining this. Wonderful topic. Well taught here. 👏 🎉

  • @DaemonGodess
    @DaemonGodess 9 месяцев назад

    The video outline is beautiful 😍 thank you for this!
    Everything you are teaching is facts girls.

  • @anaguevara1900
    @anaguevara1900 Год назад +1

    Thank you! You are the best the notes at the end, always serving looks and wisdom and being authentic and teaching in a soft way ❤ I love how honest you are about your previous mistakes and what pivots need to happen off of them. Positive pivots ❤

  • @angelic8580
    @angelic8580 Год назад

    OMG I am really just started to searching that just yesterday couldn't find any content and you created that masterpiece thank you darling

  • @MarisaLane-c9w
    @MarisaLane-c9w Месяц назад

    You are great! Keep doing this.

  • @maryannedu9666
    @maryannedu9666 Год назад

    aw great video girl!! love the notes at the end too, you’re amazing!

  • @elephant0e
    @elephant0e Год назад +4

    Exactly what I needed to hear at the start of this new year. Thank you!

  • @survivor9966
    @survivor9966 Год назад +2

    Wow you are amazing. I didnt know any of these

  • @khadijaaithmid5536
    @khadijaaithmid5536 Год назад +6

    luv ur vibes girrrrl 😘
    high five from Morocco

  • @sarah.j.777
    @sarah.j.777 Год назад +2

    healthy & positive is the vibe
    💕

  • @Apsaraaaaaa
    @Apsaraaaaaa Год назад +1

    Hey vickita Lovely explanation...can you please make a video on how to present a issue or any complaint in a softer way to a man so that he doesn't feel like you are blaming him and gets defensive..like how to show anger in a soft way

    • @VictoriaBrook91
      @VictoriaBrook91 Год назад

      She did! It's an older video where she's in a car

  • @Kali_Yugahhhh
    @Kali_Yugahhhh Год назад +1

    So beautiful! So sassy! Love your vibe 💗✌️

  • @salharo8925
    @salharo8925 Год назад +2

    I don't chase or beg, I attract . If I'm interested I pursue , this ain't high school no mo😮

    • @shalimar29
      @shalimar29 9 месяцев назад

      How do you do that?

  • @cayennepepah
    @cayennepepah Год назад

    Great video as always, I got called up especially in #2! Thanks!!

  • @AliBay1339
    @AliBay1339 Год назад

    Congrats on reaching 100K!!! Love your content and always looking forward to learning from you!

  • @hunnysakura
    @hunnysakura Год назад

    Thank you so much!!! 💝
    I will be keeping these tips in mind for the future! Also, the summarization and to-do list are fantastic and so helpful for the end.
    You're awesome, I appreciate you so much! 💝

  • @hilu1023
    @hilu1023 Год назад

    Love your channel, and your clear and powerful way on speaking. 💗

  • @alicesuperpower
    @alicesuperpower Год назад +3

    Hey Vickita, love your videos ! Just as a video idea - do you think you can make a video that applies to not lowering your standards during a relationship?
    I realized that unlike my girl friends, I actually have never had a problem getting guys to respect me in the dating phase. I think I've always have had standards with that. I wonder if then there's a whole group of women like me that have no trouble getting a serious guy and then say, after two years things go wrong. I once asked a dating coach on social media and she said my problem is I give up my standards once it gets serious and I think this may be the case. I start " making exceptions" because now he is my "everything" LOL. I've also heard about rotational dating for marriage. Anyway, would love your two cents !

  • @Melanin_so_sweet
    @Melanin_so_sweet 11 месяцев назад

    Be your standards and boundaries! Yes!

  • @HighTeaElegance
    @HighTeaElegance 4 месяца назад

    Very Informative ❤

  • @SpeakerFabienne
    @SpeakerFabienne 11 месяцев назад +1

    I really appreciate your videos and I subscribed to your channel. I would like to have access to your video notes. Could you please share where are your notes ? I have look for it in the pinned comment but I am sorry, I didn't find it. Thank you for your continuous help.

  • @raelinrennecke3528
    @raelinrennecke3528 Год назад

    your best vid yet!

  • @hermindarodriguez1691
    @hermindarodriguez1691 Год назад

    You are a gem babyyyy💎

  • @jennifer7022
    @jennifer7022 Год назад

    Thank u so much for the notes

  • @chloerafferty9288
    @chloerafferty9288 Год назад

    thank you for this queen!

  • @KatyaVasilivna
    @KatyaVasilivna 11 месяцев назад +1

    "Sobbing to The Fray at 3AM" 😢 Relatable af 😭 😆

  • @timmyxlove28
    @timmyxlove28 Год назад +1

    Perfect timing... thank you! :)

  • @alejandra6418
    @alejandra6418 Год назад

    I loved this. As always, thank you for sharing with us such useful information T^T I wish more girls whatch your chanel

  • @khplaylistyt9729
    @khplaylistyt9729 Месяц назад

    Its so funny because I am the complete opposite I am so open and available to everyone when the truth is I have very high and inhumane standards. I need to do things differently because people keep on talking to me that I don't feel fulfilled by. 😢 i just realized when I had a vacation and was constantly around new people. Something I wasnt able to do before bc I am naturally a hermit and I dont really like talking to the same old people every single day. For some reason. Now I realized I am getting the short end of the stick with my relationships, I am only selling myself short. 😢

  • @awesomearab13
    @awesomearab13 Год назад

    Can you make a video about what your standards and boundaries are with dating

  • @leilaarruda
    @leilaarruda Год назад +6

    Girl please do a haircut tutorial! Your laywers look flawless

  • @Melanin_so_sweet
    @Melanin_so_sweet 11 месяцев назад

    You are a TRUE GEM 💎 ✨️

  • @twittwit1227
    @twittwit1227 9 месяцев назад

    Girl please start a podcast! I’m begging you!!

  • @liliana_ayende
    @liliana_ayende 11 месяцев назад

    Love your content. Been following you for a few months now. Unrelated question, learning to edit my content. Do you use a script (teleprompter) or you ad lib and then edit? Thanks!

  • @alexandrina5127
    @alexandrina5127 Год назад +2

    This is for the people who watch snippets of feminine energy advice on reels or tiktok and say “playing games to get a man is patriarchial” like what? Girlie who told you to PLAY games and most importantly PLAY games to GET a man?? Like.
    We’re trying to tell you how to filter out men, not to GET them. Men being attracted to you should be the default. Now… if you notice that no man is pursuing you then get your notes and learn feminine energy from zero.
    This is me speaking as a former masculine energy angry feminist girlboss who-dont-need-no-man, who used to wonder what i’m doing wrong because no one was pursuing me, despite always taking initiative when liking someone and willing to do 50/50

    • @月亮-g5f
      @月亮-g5f 8 месяцев назад +1

      Wow you came a long way to develop self love and self acceptance. Inspirational story)

  • @mischum2915
    @mischum2915 7 месяцев назад

    Ok, the problem was most of the time I waited for him texting me but I tried to hide the issue😢 but if a man is truly in love this doesn‘t matter but often it’s like not the one for a relationship who only plays games

  • @hnyxclove7661
    @hnyxclove7661 6 месяцев назад

    Amazing video

  • @bhunyee
    @bhunyee Год назад +4

    whats your advice for someone whos never attracted anyone at all?

    • @bubblesnsugar
      @bubblesnsugar Год назад +12

      Are you attracted to yourself? You better be

  • @roxy101wk7
    @roxy101wk7 Год назад

    Hello! Love your top! Can you please share outfit details?

  • @jjcarr6606
    @jjcarr6606 Год назад +1

    Vickita do you have any advice for women who are living with their boyfriends turning into fiance's? For the first

  • @char6081
    @char6081 5 месяцев назад

    every girl needs to watch this in the modern day dating scene. we’ve all been taught the bs of playing hard to get

  • @makayla1779
    @makayla1779 4 месяца назад

    “They’re tryna catch groupies they’re tryna catch a salmon” 😂facts

  • @mpGreen03
    @mpGreen03 Год назад

    There are so many guys who just ask about your standards - cutting to the chase, what do you say to those questions lol

  • @ayasarsour2860
    @ayasarsour2860 Год назад

    Thank you very much 😊

  • @firebird3639
    @firebird3639 9 месяцев назад

    How can I convince myself of accessibility of desirable options?

  • @kerryakashian731
    @kerryakashian731 Год назад

    I love the notes! Ty

  • @nancyz6141
    @nancyz6141 Год назад +1

    how will i show
    a guy green light?someone help me....

  • @tisssha_25
    @tisssha_25 Год назад +1

    I wish you all the success 😇✨

  • @cristinadiaries
    @cristinadiaries Год назад

    Thanks for the video, but I missed the subtitles ;(

  • @BreMue
    @BreMue Год назад

    Somehow got lucky so im not in the market for a man but OHHH man i wish 10+ years ago i had this video because yikes this was me through and through

  • @bootsmade4walking
    @bootsmade4walking Год назад +1

    straight fax

  • @rgrandberry1234
    @rgrandberry1234 10 месяцев назад

    Hey hey!!! High standards!!!! Yes!!!! xoxox Green light!!!

  • @BethanyPoling
    @BethanyPoling Год назад

    I love you

  • @alacranberri
    @alacranberri Год назад

    Thank u thank u I

  • @davidbowman2035
    @davidbowman2035 11 месяцев назад +2

    As a man, my 2cents is to be a bit more obvious in showing signs of interest.
    A girl's signal can be so subtle, i have no idea so I'm not going to waste my time expending unnecessary energy.

  • @AdibaMuzammil-y4r
    @AdibaMuzammil-y4r Год назад +1

    You're so so beautiful ma sha Allah

  • @sociallyshydesi
    @sociallyshydesi Год назад +2

    Could you please make a series of videos for gay people? (The passive one who has more feminine energies.)
    It would be really really helpful to deal with toxic guys who just manipulate people having submissive nature but they want a genuine partner

  • @queencushie2905
    @queencushie2905 Год назад

    What video?

  • @kako6417
    @kako6417 Год назад +1

  • @orianamongini5572
    @orianamongini5572 5 месяцев назад

    🔝

  • @spyrex3988
    @spyrex3988 20 дней назад

    U got A cups watchu talm bout

  • @langstonrichardson3828
    @langstonrichardson3828 Месяц назад

    Just a guy trying to be the perfect man by taking notes

  • @terranezey
    @terranezey 6 месяцев назад

    ok dear high value woman why do you sit on the floor 😂😂😂

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад

    You dropped this 17 hrs ago, I have been pondering this since yesterday, its disgusting already, he doesnt stop xdd

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад +2

    I used to have a scarce mindset

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад

    This is soooo true

  • @dessy369
    @dessy369 Год назад +4

    This is 100k worthy content

  • @M2NT4
    @M2NT4 9 месяцев назад +3

    Listening to you worked. Idk how to explain it but I love you so much. Thank you for caring enuff about women to share your wisdom we appreciate you more than u will ever understand 🥲I love it here

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад

    We sbould just dispose the low value men, like one has been harassing me for a month already, I already said "No"

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад

    Yeessss, facts

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад +2

    I gt ADHD, what they get is my hyperfocus

  • @yomiseno
    @yomiseno Год назад

    Trueeee

  • @khaiabigail5508
    @khaiabigail5508 4 месяца назад

    God i like u so much for explaining things very clearly.
    the world need more honest sisters like you to learn new things,to set boundries 🤍