Yes and but reconcilation does NOT equal a personal or intimate relationship We ARE ministers of reconciliation by commandment from GOD Reconciliation only allows me to be a witness from the outside of a toxic person/family etc Examole GOD forgives us when warranted yet HE doesn't automatically continue that bond if and once we have returned to sin And as in the Church of Corinth, GOD commands us to cast out believers caught up in sin in hopes it shames them into repentance (Yet there's still a form of reconciliation), That's what's said of fellow brethren in sin HOWEVER We're still reconciled to them to a point The old adage feed em from a "Long handled spoon theory" is then called for before totally casting out the person(s) from the congregation permanently I just wanted to point out reconciliation vs relationship (Sin separates relations) But we're still ministers of reconciliation Example : A sinful X-spouse You must maintain some semblance of a relationship due to children and integrated family etc Yet as Sis. Allyson truthfully pointed out.... That doesn't mean we re-engage in the "same" level of communication, closeness, intimacy, social gathering ... we once had etc just because of forgiveness And even if the person later shows fruit worthy of repentance that still doesn't mean we should resume the once established relationship I hope I haven't offened the commentor here....Brigette And I sincerely pray I conveyed the proper clarity I intend via GOD'S word Blessingz upon Blessingz 2all obedient believers
@@encouragingthebrethren8464 thank GOD Thank Sis Allyson, For it was her obedience in this video that has sparked all comments here to wit I'm one And thank the Holy Spirit for transforming me to articulate Scripture to be a blessing to someone else For without my being transformed, I can only hurt Hallelujah YHWH Amen
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
Please please pleaseeeee do a video on boundaries! I soooo need help in this particular area 😩 thank you Allison for all of your helpful videos! Hugs 🤗
Hi Heather, you might like to check out a sermon by John Townsend: You Make Me Crazy -Boundaries And Your Relationships saddleback.com/watch/media/boundaries-and-your-relationships It's part of an 8-part series by Saddleback on Crazymakers. John's also written a book called "Boundaries". Personally, I've read "The Road Less Travelled" and "The People Of The Lie" by M. Scott Peck and have found them helpful.
People get confused about what forgiveness is. I felt the Lord led me to explain this to my aunt. She kept feeling as though I was telling her to let them back in her life. I was explaining to her that she needed to release the bitterness towards them from her heart, mind, soul, and spirit. But she kept trying to say that I was insinuating that she should let them back in her life, and that is not the same thing. Either way have a blessed day.
We are supposed to be pushed over and be bullied just like Jesus was pushed over and bullied people were nothing but mean to Jesus and Jesus still loved and forgave them and yet still went and died gave his life for us took our place and then was brought back to life 3 days later but some how you think we are supposed to stay away ?????
“You will end up with who you put up with.” That has been a big lesson for my life. Had the most toxic “friendship” for 3 years and the whole time God was gracious to constantly tell me to end things with this person. I asked, “But how God? They are so controlling! I don’t know how to get out of this!” And He told me, “Just tell them what they want to hear. It’s okay if you don’t mean what you say to this person. They are always trying to control and manipulate you to believe they are ultimately right and you are wrong. If they’re so consumed with getting what they want and not pursue peace and progress to a better friendship just give them what they want.” So I did. I told this person that she deserves a better friend than me and that I have done too much harm and hurt towards her. Yes she did agree that I was this kind of person to her. Of course it was not true that I was a horrible, insensitive, and self-centered friend that she liked to repeatedly remind me, but the goal was to cut all ties with her for good. After we ended the conversation the first thing God had me to do was block her from all forms of contact, delete, unfollow, and unfriend her from all social media platforms. I have been getting healed ever since and now the trauma of my friendship with her is completely gone. I forgave her and if I ever bumped into her at some point in life I will just smile and say good to see you again and do my thing.
I feel so much pain in my hrt now,especially trusting someone I thought he loved me,am waiting for that time al get somebody who will respect and appreciate me the way iam
Exactly. I have had to learn this and it was something God revealed to me as well, that we are to forgive but reconciliation is not always wise nor what God desires for us to do if they distract us from God especially. Thank you beautiful sister ❤️
This is a great word! I've had so many people that have caused me pain that I've let continuously hurt me. Now I know how to handle this topic. Boundaries.
yes! Agreed..we can forgive , pray for and bless our enemies..but never allow satan to use them to manipulate, deceive or cause destruction to our lives.. love you sister. Your walk with the Lord is very encouraging to me in these times.Praying for you and your ministry for Him..xo
thank you, and that is how I decided to let go of others, releasing them, have known them for many years that you thought they are there for you so let them be who they are and let them go. Thanks and God bless.
Absolutely!!!! This is something I struggled with for a while. Pretty recently, my whole extended family came against my immediate family. They don’t know what they’re doing, and are being used by Satan to destroy! God makes beauty from ashes! I’ve forgiven them, but will NOT allow them back into my life. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Pray for them, and keep pursuing Gods heart. Basically forgive, and keep it moving.
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
WomeninMinistry TV totally understand what you mean! It’s way deeper than I’ve mentioned. Basically they all sided with the two rapist in the family, and don’t believe the us... (victims) It’s very toxic. I’m thankful God never left me, but I have also never raped a brother, or sister then tried to destroy their lives, and get their children taken away...... publicly.
You are so true. Whatever you have said I fully agree with you. Some toxic people should be forgiven but never taken back. For our own sanity and dignity. You are very wise. I am watching many videos of your these days. All are amazingly powerful and words are coming from Lord.
I feel like this was made for me💜thank you so much! Its such a comfort to see how present God is in your life and to hear your words of encouragement!! I have let the same person back into my life for the third time now even after she has really hurt me and she keeps doing it, but I am so tired of feeling so unimportant and used. It's all really confusing, but I'll figure it out eventually... And your messages really help! Thanks again!
I neeeed this today. Ive got a friend who has hurt me multiple times. Im more mad at myself who has allowed this person to consistently steam roll over my boundaries and has hurt me. It has caused distrust, anger and offense ( in my spirit, which i dont like). However, I want to extend love towards this friend, but i cannot do the back and fourth anymore. Some of these people can be Christian brothers and sisters! Be brave, create boundaries and always be clear with them. Its a big lesson to learn in life.
Thank you Allyson. I had a crush on someone last year and she knew and she smirked because she has a boyfriend. My heart was very broken to the point that I took a week off work (I had allergies to). She is watching the Blessings that God is doing in my life and how God is building me on the inside and outside. This girl unfortunately, is my coworker. I wish no harm for her, and she knows how much I loved her. But she’s not on my level Spiritually. Because she isn’t a Woman of God. God Bless you Allyson. You are a real Kingdom spouse material and a Soldier of The Most High ✝️❤️
So true. To forgive someone you don't need to tell them and they don't need to know. Just doit in ur heart. Some offences I do let them back depending on the intentions/motives they had when they wronged me. Someone can hurt u without even realizing. Or they can hurt you to porpusly to harm u.
You are absolutely one the most beautiful and sweetest and Godliest women I have ever seen and heard in my life. I enjoy watching your videos just look at your gorgeous face and listen to your angelic voice. God bless you
Allyson thank you for this video. I personally have struggled with this all my life. I forgive everything and everyone, regardless of the act and the worm there way back into my life over and over again. I have been so kind and understanding to criminal types that many times in turn the only way to get them to stop doing sick things to be personally is a restraining order. Close family members and those whom have cared have said I have issues displaying bounders and being a push over. Every day I make a effort to put down my bounders and take back my power. It's a battle. One thing I can honestly say is God gave you such a blessing by being sassy and strong. It's a sin in many ways because when the forgiveness goes to far as it has with me they get worse and worse people my children were hurt badly beyond words everything I owned stolen and the list goes on and gets worse. Because I would not just show and give them forgiveness I let them back in to do worse with the manipulation and they were holding it in my face if I wouldn't give them the chance again. It's just stupid,, unhealthy and you can't help but wonder if you are contributing to the sin my being so passive. Just because you rebuild every time and God will never leave your side as he does it still makes their behavior acceptable. Thank you for all your videos. I really admire you as a sister in Christ. God has blessed you and so it is Namaste Amen
I asked you about this issue in another of your videos last night. I guess God was watching over me and led me to this post. I still have a lot to think about, but this is a BIG help. Thanks and God bless.
Forgiveness is simply letting go of anger. So that you can get past and move on with your life. Its not for that person, it's for you. You can forgive and never have to deal with that person again.
Thank you blessed and beauty you just confirm that you can forgive someone but you don't have to let him back in your life I struggled with that for a long time but I found that to be reasonable in the human nature because people only do what you allow them to do to you amen
Thank you for clearing this up! I've been told I'm wrong for "cutting people off" but once the relationship is broken, I can forgive but also choose not to allow that person back in my life. I don't see anything wrong with that because I have to protect myself and my heart from further abuse. Thank you Ally for allowing God to use you🙏🙏
Hello Allyson I was wondering if their is a scripture that says about forgiving from a distance? My heart totally feels that what your saying is right. I am in a situation now where somebody has caused me problems but I have totally forgiven them, I just do not want to have them in my social life because I know that they are like wolves! God Bless :-) :-) :-)
I'm in a situation as well and Mark 11:25 (NIV) (I don't read niv but it is still true verse.) "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." i agree she's right as well.
[continued from the above post] Let's now deal with part b) by looking at some verses. 1b). "You must stay away from anyone who claims to be a believer but does evil things. Stay away from anyone who commits sexual sins. Stay away from anyone who always wants more and more things. Stay away from anyone who worships statues of gods. Stay away from anyone who tells lies about others. Stay away from anyone who gets drunk or who cheats. Don’t even eat with people like these."- 1 Cor 5 :10 NIV In the verse above, look at how many times the imperative "stay away" is used! Note that the first line says "claims to be a believer", meaning that this person isn't truly a believer. Note how many times "anyone" is used! Essentially Jesus is saying STAY AWAY from ANY of such people, whether they CLAIM TO BE BELIEVERS OR NOT. Since all Scripture is God-breathed (1 Tim 3:16 NIV), what Paul is writing here is not Paul's own words but God's words. We know that God and Jesus are one. Also, we know that from the beginning the Word was God (John 1:1 NIV) and that the Word became flesh in Jesus (John 1: 14 NIV). Which means Jesus himself is saying the words of 1 Cor 5:10 (and everything else written in the Bible, obviously.) Now, this is the same Jesus who stressed the importance of forgiveness in Matt 6:15 and Luke 17:3-4 (which we looked at earlier). Question : Can Jesus, who is God, contradict Himself? No. Therefore, is it a contradiction to forgive someone and AT THE SAME TIME ABSOLUTELY REJECT BEING IN THEIR COMPANY? Of course not. In fact, it's what we're commanded to do. God cannot command a contradiction. 2b).Do note also in 2 Timothy 2, Paul says, " 24 Anyone who serves the Lord must not be hard to get along with. Instead, they must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach. The one who serves must not hold anything against anyone. 25 They must gently teach those who are against them. Maybe God will give a change of heart to those who are against you. That will lead them to know the truth. 26 Maybe they will come to their senses. Maybe they will escape the devil’s trap. He has taken them as prisoners to do what he wanted..." Notice that this tells us that just because you are nice, kind and caring to everyone all there time, there are still going to be "those who are against you" (verse 25). Also, notice he also uses the word "Maybe" three times. This means that there is NO GUARANTEE that, just because you treat people the way they should be treated, love them as yourself and always do what is best for them, perhaps even at the expense of your own good, they will turn and repent, learning to love God and accordingly, love you back. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. LOVE IS A CHOICE. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU BECAUSE THEY DON'T LOVE GOD IN THE FIRST PLACE. Jesus says, ""If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first." (John 15:18 NLT) Remember that Jesus was the most perfect embodiment of love anyone could ever know. He is God, and God is Love. (1 John 4:8). Not that He "had" love, He "is" love itself! But people still put Him on the cross. It fact, I would argue that they did that BECAUSE He is love. Because He doesn't belong to this world, (John 15:18-25, NIV) which belongs to the prince of this world, (John 16:11 NIV) Satan. 3b).The verses which follow right after seal the deal. 2 Timothy 3 continues: "2 For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, 3 [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, 4 traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. AVOID such people and keep FAR AWAY from them."-2 Tim 3:2-5 (AMP). So, quite clearly, according to the Bible, there are some people who have some kind of chance of being led to the truth (2b). However, the Bible also makes it clear that there is another group of people who have NO chance of being led to the truth (3b). Remember that God has given us all free will and the sacrifice of His Son. This shows He wants everyone to choose Him and be set right with Him. That means, in order for God to change their hearts, they must WANT to have "a change of heart" (2 Tim 3:25) in the first place. Otherwise, God will " let them follow the desires of their sinful hearts" (Romans 1: 24 NLT) because they "traded the truth of God for a lie. They worshiped and cared for what God made instead of worshiping the God Who made it." (Romans 1:25 NLT) He gives us all the option to love Him or not, because He doesn't make robots. Love that doesn't involve choice isn't worth anything. In fact, you can't even call it love. In addition, you may like to check out these sermons on forgiveness and boundaries: 1. You Make Me Crazy-Boundaries And Relationships saddleback.com/watch/media/boundaries-and-your-relationships 2. How To Let Go of Heartache with Buddy Owens ruclips.net/video/X5470N-6fqg/видео.html This sermon deals with the issue of forgiveness in its correct Biblical context, especially with regards to the difference between "agape" and "storge". When Jesus commands us to love our enemies, he is talking about "agape" (undefeated benevolence) rather than "storge" (natural, familial affection). In conclusion, remember that at the end of the day, you are answerable to God alone. The world will tell you to be this or that. If you're a girl, it will tell you that you have a moral obligation to be nice, all the time. (A lie!) It even suggests that is your main purpose in life. Remember that "good" things are not always "God" things. Satan perverts "good" things made by God and lies to us that they are "God" things to throw us off-course. Remember that "Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." (2 Cor 11:13 NIV).Remember we all have our purpose to live out in Christ. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV). I'll leave you with a few verses. 1. 'It’s God we are answerable to-all the way from life to death and everything in between-not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other."- Romans 14: 6-9 MSG 2." ....let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..."- Hebrews 12:1 ESV. 3. "Fear the LORD your God, serve him only..." -Deuteronomy 6:13 NIV; See also Luke 4:8 4. "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." - Proverbs 14:12 NIV
Psalm 1 says: Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly or stands in the way of sinners or sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law we are to meditate day and night. My point is the Bible states in many scriptures about the dangers of fellowship with those who are partakers in iniquity. You can still have compassion and forgive but not keep them in your space otherwise they will continue to wound you and that will affect your walk with Christ. Some people are a stumbling block and they will continue doing so if you enable them.
I admit I have a hard time understanding this concept. But after hearing this explanation it makes it a little bit easier to understand. My mother for example has always had a way of talking down to me all the way through my childhood up until now and I'm 42. There are things I literally hide from her to keep her from talking down to me and it makes me push her away. That is why it's so hard for me to forgive her because she refuses to change her ways.
Thank you so much. You are a big part of God's work. I've been struggling through this for quite some time with some family and friends who just don't understand it had lead to drain me down badly in a complete negative way that is only causing me more affliction, pressure, and pain when I'm still walking with God to learn and heal through it all, and need the time and patience that it will take to go through that process. God bless your heart and keep being the wonderful empowering part of God's grace and beautiful works
Amen! Thank you for your Encouragement! Glory to God! "People who should have access to your Heart, are people who are walking with God's Heart as well" Great advice for Guarding our Hearts!
wow, this is a message for me even though I have already known the truth of this but it took me awhile to realize that I was doing the right thing without feeling some sort of guilt or shame because I was trying to keep my distance from the individual even though I had already forgiven.
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS...SO POWERFUL...TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAYING WHAT I'VE SAID AND FELT...THANK U JESUS...THANK U...KEEP POURING IT OUT SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE TO RECEIVE FRM U...
This is an awesome message, I had to do this with a few of my family members, eventually God gave me peace! Am more happy without them in my life than when they were apart of my life! Thank you for this video.
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
I agree, I remember when Lot and his brother (either Abraham or Job/forgot) argued and agreed to go separate ways. The two I guess forgave and loved each other but recognized they didn’t get along any more. Reconciliation and forgiveness seem the same but are different.
One of the most difficult things I ever had to do was ask forgiveness of someone who hurt me very badly. But I too had done some inappropriate actions and needed to confess them to her. She didn't think what I did was wrong but I confessed none the less. I never saw her again, but I was able to move on.
So true, I live by this. We have to forgive but that doesn't mean we keep dealing with abuse n mistreat over n over again. To God be the glory , let go that dead weight but forgive first.. forgive for your own peace!!
Hello Allyson, thanks for your wise words, they helped me so much and arrived at the right moment of my life! God has every tiny detail planned for us.
Sometimes God closes doors for a reason, you need to forgive yes but sometimes you need to move forward to where the Lord is leading. Take for example the story Moses Exodus, God has something better for us ahead. Truth is if it was for you, it wouldn't pass you by. Yes forgive but also trust in the plans of the Lord, because he closes and opens doors.
Yeah did that with my ex-girlfriend candy we broke up at 2009 she's married now but man she was cheating all that stuff he was in crack cocaine selling her body. I didn't cheat although we weren't married but thank God we didnt get weren't Married that was too nice the nicest guy I can't believe I stick with her for 12 years off and on and she kept on cheating Lol may I forgive and release long distance amen for that took a long time for me to learn. Alex from waukesha Wisconsin
I totally get what your saying, but what if God is asking me to reach out to these people who have hurt me with his Supernatural strategies in how to reach their broken hearts, it’s so weird God has asked me to reach out to them with his love to reach their hearts, and I see things breaking off in the spiritual by the strategies of God in prayer, but at the same time God is keeping me in a distance to them but yet asking me to pray and text them every once in a while, I feel God’s deep deep love for them. It reminds me of how a Minister David Wilkerson reached out to Nicki Cruise in the inner city of New York ti reach out to one of the most dangerous gangs at that time, back in the 60’s I think it was, and how the leader Niki Cruise and his gang got saved, God gave this Minister Supernatural strategies to reach these people, there was a book called The Cross and the switch blade book put out plus a movie. I don’t recommend doing what I’m doing unless the Lord reveals to you to do this, but forgiveness is very important..
Amen! I've been dealing with a hurtful situation for a couple of years. I've forgiven them and asked for forgiveness in my part in it. I was then dealing with the thoughts of what do I need to do now? The good Lord said let it go and go your separate ways. Even though I miss the many years of friendship I know this is our heavenly father will.
Amen and forgiveness is key cause the Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven us by going through the brutality of the crucifixion 😢, but was raised by the power of The Almighty 😇. We must forgive 70x7. This warrior had to.
Thank you allison for your helpful videos it gives me peace and release , i forgive my x fiance but your right forgive him but not ket him back in my life specially if he causing me so much pain and hurtful.i forgive him and i understand but i decide to let him go ..i hurt but i am at peace now by God's grace and mercy..Godbless you allison and i am still watching more of your inspirational videos..love you and Godbless you so much:)
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
Your messages is from the Holy Spirit, I hope one day HE☝️ brings my future wife that's not only beautiful, but has HIS☝️ Grace flaming within her, like y❤️u. May G❤️D Bless in all your ways.
I forgive them. I just do not let them back in. When they do not want God, I have to let them go. I do not want to live with my controlling mother anymore.
Yes there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation
Wowwww!!!
Yes and but reconcilation does NOT equal a personal or intimate relationship
We ARE ministers of reconciliation by commandment from GOD
Reconciliation only allows me to be a witness from the outside of a toxic person/family etc
Examole
GOD forgives us when warranted yet HE doesn't automatically continue that bond if and once we have returned to sin
And as in the Church of Corinth,
GOD commands us to cast out believers caught up in sin in hopes it shames them into repentance
(Yet there's still a form of reconciliation),
That's what's said of fellow brethren in sin
HOWEVER
We're still reconciled to them to a point
The old adage feed em from a "Long handled spoon theory" is then called for before totally casting out the person(s) from the congregation permanently
I just wanted to point out reconciliation vs relationship
(Sin separates relations)
But we're still ministers of reconciliation
Example :
A sinful X-spouse
You must maintain some semblance of a relationship due to children and integrated family etc
Yet as Sis. Allyson truthfully pointed out....
That doesn't mean we re-engage in the "same" level of communication, closeness, intimacy, social gathering ... we once had etc just because of forgiveness
And even if the person later shows fruit worthy of repentance that still doesn't mean we should resume the once established relationship
I hope I haven't offened the commentor here....Brigette
And I sincerely pray I conveyed the proper clarity I intend via GOD'S word
Blessingz upon Blessingz 2all obedient believers
Yes it is. I totally agree. 😊😊😊😊
@@jeremyx3758 this was so helpful to me and so clarifying of my life. I hope you know that. Thank you brother! Blessings
@@encouragingthebrethren8464 thank GOD
Thank Sis Allyson,
For it was her obedience in this video that has sparked all comments here to wit I'm one
And thank the Holy Spirit for transforming me to articulate Scripture to be a blessing to someone else
For without my being transformed, I can only hurt
Hallelujah YHWH Amen
Thank you so much. I had to let go of a boyfriend and some toxic friends and this helped me have peace with my decision.
Perfectly stated and exactly right!
I like that picture of Phylicia Rashad.
@@ladennayoung2939 thank you!
Forgive but don't FORGET! So you don't make the same mistake with others.
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
@@womeninministrytv you still do not understand
Chris Horv. Amen
100% very true!!
Prayers for you!!!
✝️🙏✝️🙏✝️
Please please pleaseeeee do a video on boundaries! I soooo need help in this particular area 😩 thank you Allison for all of your helpful videos! Hugs 🤗
Heather S look up Henry Cloud boundaries.. he wrote a book called Boundaries in marriage which was a lifesaver for me.
Hi Heather,
you might like to check out a sermon by John Townsend:
You Make Me Crazy -Boundaries And Your Relationships
saddleback.com/watch/media/boundaries-and-your-relationships
It's part of an 8-part series by Saddleback on Crazymakers. John's also written a book called "Boundaries".
Personally, I've read "The Road Less Travelled" and "The People Of The Lie" by M. Scott Peck and have found them helpful.
Confirmation...I was praying about this... It hurts worse when the ones constantly hurting you is family.
God bless you
Yes, ma''am the greatest pain is family because you're not prepared for it. Your guards are down when around family.
Finally! Someone who is willing to not be that "push-over Christian" Thank you for this!
Lucy May Joy ...Jesus always told me to let them slap the other cheek..
@@chrishorv7099 not over and over again 😂
People get confused about what forgiveness is. I felt the Lord led me to explain this to my aunt. She kept feeling as though I was telling her to let them back in her life. I was explaining to her that she needed to release the bitterness towards them from her heart, mind, soul, and spirit. But she kept trying to say that I was insinuating that she should let them back in her life, and that is not the same thing. Either way have a blessed day.
@@chrishorv7099 that don't mean accept abuse. It simply means that you don't hold bitterness or anger towards them for what they have done.
We are supposed to be pushed over and be bullied just like Jesus was pushed over and bullied people were nothing but mean to Jesus and Jesus still loved and forgave them and yet still went and died gave his life for us took our place and then was brought back to life 3 days later but some how you think we are supposed to stay away ?????
“You will end up with who you put up with.”
That has been a big lesson for my life. Had the most toxic “friendship” for 3 years and the whole time God was gracious to constantly tell me to end things with this person. I asked, “But how God? They are so controlling! I don’t know how to get out of this!” And He told me, “Just tell them what they want to hear. It’s okay if you don’t mean what you say to this person. They are always trying to control and manipulate you to believe they are ultimately right and you are wrong. If they’re so consumed with getting what they want and not pursue peace and progress to a better friendship just give them what they want.” So I did. I told this person that she deserves a better friend than me and that I have done too much harm and hurt towards her. Yes she did agree that I was this kind of person to her. Of course it was not true that I was a horrible, insensitive, and self-centered friend that she liked to repeatedly remind me, but the goal was to cut all ties with her for good. After we ended the conversation the first thing God had me to do was block her from all forms of contact, delete, unfollow, and unfriend her from all social media platforms. I have been getting healed ever since and now the trauma of my friendship with her is completely gone. I forgave her and if I ever bumped into her at some point in life I will just smile and say good to see you again and do my thing.
Amen sister! This is something God had to reveal to me recently! Praise God for using you to relay this message
Why do I feel like your literally speaking to me 😩🙌🏾 bless youu
I forgive those around me. Let me pray and forgive.
I feel so much pain in my hrt now,especially trusting someone I thought he loved me,am waiting for that time al get somebody who will respect and appreciate me the way iam
Exactly. I have had to learn this and it was something God revealed to me as well, that we are to forgive but reconciliation is not always wise nor what God desires for us to do if they distract us from God especially. Thank you beautiful sister ❤️
This is a great word! I've had so many people that have caused me pain that I've let continuously hurt me. Now I know how to handle this topic. Boundaries.
I needed that, thank you so much for doing what God tells you to do ❤❤❤ you're helping people!
Cecilia N. Yes that was for me also. I've been battling with unforgiveness for years
Amen! Forgiveness is for yourself! Forgiving is not condoning, and it is best to rid your short life from hurtful, toxic people.
yes! Agreed..we can forgive , pray for and bless our enemies..but never allow satan to use them to manipulate, deceive or cause destruction to our lives.. love you sister. Your walk with the Lord is very encouraging to me in these times.Praying for you and your ministry for Him..xo
thank you, and that is how I decided to let go of others, releasing them, have known them for many years that you thought they are there for you so let them be who they are and let them go. Thanks and God bless.
Absolutely!!!! This is something I struggled with for a while. Pretty recently, my whole extended family came against my immediate family. They don’t know what they’re doing, and are being used by Satan to destroy! God makes beauty from ashes! I’ve forgiven them, but will NOT allow them back into my life. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Pray for them, and keep pursuing Gods heart. Basically forgive, and keep it moving.
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
WomeninMinistry TV totally understand what you mean! It’s way deeper than I’ve mentioned. Basically they all sided with the two rapist in the family, and don’t believe the us... (victims) It’s very toxic. I’m thankful God never left me, but I have also never raped a brother, or sister then tried to destroy their lives, and get their children taken away...... publicly.
Very wise... Awesome word!! Amen
You are so true. Whatever you have said I fully agree with you. Some toxic people should be forgiven but never taken back. For our own sanity and dignity. You are very wise. I am watching many videos of your these days. All are amazingly powerful and words are coming from Lord.
This is a big deliverance for me...thank you for this video Allyson...Hallelujah!!!
I feel like this was made for me💜thank you so much! Its such a comfort to see how present God is in your life and to hear your words of encouragement!! I have let the same person back into my life for the third time now even after she has really hurt me and she keeps doing it, but I am so tired of feeling so unimportant and used. It's all really confusing, but I'll figure it out eventually... And your messages really help! Thanks again!
Thank you for clarifying this topic, i was afraid to be rude to a past love by not wanting to talk to them anymore after a hurtfull heartbreak.
I neeeed this today. Ive got a friend who has hurt me multiple times. Im more mad at myself who has allowed this person to consistently steam roll over my boundaries and has hurt me. It has caused distrust, anger and offense ( in my spirit, which i dont like). However, I want to extend love towards this friend, but i cannot do the back and fourth anymore. Some of these people can be Christian brothers and sisters! Be brave, create boundaries and always be clear with them. Its a big lesson to learn in life.
Isaiah 43:18 Remember not the former things; nor consider the things of old.
Thank you Allyson. I had a crush on someone last year and she knew and she smirked because she has a boyfriend. My heart was very broken to the point that I took a week off work (I had allergies to). She is watching the Blessings that God is doing in my life and how God is building me on the inside and outside. This girl unfortunately, is my coworker. I wish no harm for her, and she knows how
much I loved her. But she’s not on my level Spiritually. Because she isn’t a Woman of God. God Bless you Allyson. You are a real Kingdom spouse material and a Soldier of The Most High ✝️❤️
This message is so needed, people just don't preach this.
So true. To forgive someone you don't need to tell them and they don't need to know. Just doit in ur heart. Some offences I do let them back depending on the intentions/motives they had when they wronged me. Someone can hurt u without even realizing. Or they can hurt you to porpusly to harm u.
You are absolutely one the most beautiful and sweetest and Godliest women I have ever seen and heard in my life. I enjoy watching your videos just look at your gorgeous face and listen to your angelic voice. God bless you
I honestly have had this on my mind this past year, thank you so much I needed this!!!
Yes, keep praying that JESUS CHRIST will take this spirit of unforgiveness out of my heart
THIS BEAUTIFUL LADY IS SPEAKING THE TRUTH IT'S BEST TO FORGIVE LET GO AND LET GOD AMEN and AMEN
Allyson thank you for this video. I personally have struggled with this all my life. I forgive everything and everyone, regardless of the act and the worm there way back into my life over and over again. I have been so kind and understanding to criminal types that many times in turn the only way to get them to stop doing sick things to be personally is a restraining order.
Close family members and those whom have cared have said I have issues displaying bounders and being a push over.
Every day I make a effort to put down my bounders and take back my power. It's a battle.
One thing I can honestly say is God gave you such a blessing by being sassy and strong.
It's a sin in many ways because when the forgiveness goes to far as it has with me they get worse and worse people my children were hurt badly beyond words everything I owned stolen and the list goes on and gets worse. Because I would not just show and give them forgiveness I let them back in to do worse with the manipulation and they were holding it in my face if I wouldn't give them the chance again.
It's just stupid,, unhealthy and you can't help but wonder if you are contributing to the sin my being so passive. Just because you rebuild every time and God will never leave your side as he does it still makes their behavior acceptable.
Thank you for all your videos.
I really admire you as a sister in Christ.
God has blessed you and so it is
Namaste
Amen
I asked you about this issue in another of your videos last night. I guess God was watching over me and led me to this post.
I still have a lot to think about, but this is a BIG help. Thanks and God bless.
Forgiveness is simply letting go of anger. So that you can get past and move on with your life. Its not for that person, it's for you. You can forgive and never have to deal with that person again.
God's timing is good. So grateful you share what he puts on your heart and is doing in your life. Thank you for your ministry
Thank you blessed and beauty you just confirm that you can forgive someone but you don't have to let him back in your life I struggled with that for a long time but I found that to be reasonable in the human nature because people only do what you allow them to do to you amen
Thank you for clearing this up! I've been told I'm wrong for "cutting people off" but once the relationship is broken, I can forgive but also choose not to allow that person back in my life. I don't see anything wrong with that because I have to protect myself and my heart from further abuse. Thank you Ally for allowing God to use you🙏🙏
Truth sister, you give it to us straight 🙌🏾
Hello Allyson I was wondering if their is a scripture that says about forgiving from a distance? My heart totally feels that what your saying is right. I am in a situation now where somebody has caused me problems but I have totally forgiven them, I just do not want to have them in my social life because I know that they are like wolves! God Bless :-) :-) :-)
I'm in a situation as well and Mark 11:25 (NIV) (I don't read niv but it is still true verse.) "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." i agree she's right as well.
[continued from the above post]
Let's now deal with part b) by looking at some verses.
1b). "You must stay away from anyone who claims to be a believer but does evil things. Stay away from anyone who commits sexual sins. Stay away from anyone who always wants more and more things. Stay away from anyone who worships statues of gods. Stay away from anyone who tells lies about others. Stay away from anyone who gets drunk or who cheats. Don’t even eat with people like these."- 1 Cor 5 :10 NIV
In the verse above, look at how many times the imperative "stay away" is used! Note that the first line says "claims to be a believer", meaning that this person isn't truly a believer. Note how many times "anyone" is used! Essentially Jesus is saying STAY AWAY from ANY of such people, whether they CLAIM TO BE BELIEVERS OR NOT. Since all Scripture is God-breathed (1 Tim 3:16 NIV), what Paul is writing here is not Paul's own words but God's words. We know that God and Jesus are one. Also, we know that from the beginning the Word was God (John 1:1 NIV) and that the Word became flesh in Jesus (John 1: 14 NIV). Which means Jesus himself is saying the words of 1 Cor 5:10 (and everything else written in the Bible, obviously.)
Now, this is the same Jesus who stressed the importance of forgiveness in Matt 6:15 and Luke 17:3-4 (which we looked at earlier). Question : Can Jesus, who is God, contradict Himself? No. Therefore, is it a contradiction to forgive someone and AT THE SAME TIME ABSOLUTELY REJECT BEING IN THEIR COMPANY? Of course not. In fact, it's what we're commanded to do. God cannot command a contradiction.
2b).Do note also in 2 Timothy 2, Paul says, " 24 Anyone who serves the Lord must not be hard to get along with. Instead, they must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach. The one who serves must not hold anything against anyone. 25 They must gently teach those who are against them. Maybe God will give a change of heart to those who are against you. That will lead them to know the truth. 26 Maybe they will come to their senses. Maybe they will escape the devil’s trap. He has taken them as prisoners to do what he wanted..."
Notice that this tells us that just because you are nice, kind and caring to everyone all there time, there are still going to be "those who are against you" (verse 25). Also, notice he also uses the word "Maybe" three times.
This means that there is NO GUARANTEE that, just because you treat people the way they should be treated, love them as yourself and always do what is best for them, perhaps even at the expense of your own good, they will turn and repent, learning to love God and accordingly, love you back. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. LOVE IS A CHOICE. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU BECAUSE THEY DON'T LOVE GOD IN THE FIRST PLACE. Jesus says, ""If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first." (John 15:18 NLT)
Remember that Jesus was the most perfect embodiment of love anyone could ever know. He is God, and God is Love. (1 John 4:8). Not that He "had" love, He "is" love itself! But people still put Him on the cross. It fact, I would argue that they did that BECAUSE He is love. Because He doesn't belong to this world, (John 15:18-25, NIV) which belongs to the prince of this world, (John 16:11 NIV) Satan.
3b).The verses which follow right after seal the deal. 2 Timothy 3 continues: "2 For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, 3 [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, 4 traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. AVOID such people and keep FAR AWAY from them."-2 Tim 3:2-5 (AMP).
So, quite clearly, according to the Bible, there are some people who have some kind of chance of being led to the truth (2b). However, the Bible also makes it clear that there is another group of people who have NO chance of being led to the truth (3b). Remember that God has given us all free will and the sacrifice of His Son. This shows He wants everyone to choose Him and be set right with Him. That means, in order for God to change their hearts, they must WANT to have "a change of heart" (2 Tim 3:25) in the first place. Otherwise, God will " let them follow the desires of their sinful hearts" (Romans 1: 24 NLT) because they "traded the truth of God for a lie. They worshiped and cared for what God made instead of worshiping the God Who made it." (Romans 1:25 NLT)
He gives us all the option to love Him or not, because He doesn't make robots. Love that doesn't involve choice isn't worth anything. In fact, you can't even call it love.
In addition, you may like to check out these sermons on forgiveness and boundaries:
1. You Make Me Crazy-Boundaries And Relationships
saddleback.com/watch/media/boundaries-and-your-relationships
2. How To Let Go of Heartache with Buddy Owens
ruclips.net/video/X5470N-6fqg/видео.html
This sermon deals with the issue of forgiveness in its correct Biblical context, especially with regards to the difference between "agape" and "storge". When Jesus commands us to love our enemies, he is talking about "agape" (undefeated benevolence) rather than "storge" (natural, familial affection).
In conclusion, remember that at the end of the day, you are answerable to God alone. The world will tell you to be this or that. If you're a girl, it will tell you that you have a moral obligation to be nice, all the time. (A lie!) It even suggests that is your main purpose in life. Remember that "good" things are not always "God" things. Satan perverts "good" things made by God and lies to us that they are "God" things to throw us off-course. Remember that "Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." (2 Cor 11:13 NIV).Remember we all have our purpose to live out in Christ. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV).
I'll leave you with a few verses.
1. 'It’s God we are answerable to-all the way from life to death and everything in between-not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other."- Romans 14: 6-9 MSG
2." ....let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..."- Hebrews 12:1 ESV.
3. "Fear the LORD your God, serve him only..." -Deuteronomy 6:13 NIV; See also Luke 4:8
4. "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." - Proverbs 14:12 NIV
Psalm 1 says: Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly or stands in the way of sinners or sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law we are to meditate day and night. My point is the Bible states in many scriptures about the dangers of fellowship with those who are partakers in iniquity. You can still have compassion and forgive but not keep them in your space otherwise they will continue to wound you and that will affect your walk with Christ. Some people are a stumbling block and they will continue doing so if you enable them.
Glory to God your msg has helped me!!!
I admit I have a hard time understanding this concept. But after hearing this explanation it makes it a little bit easier to understand. My mother for example has always had a way of talking down to me all the way through my childhood up until now and I'm 42. There are things I literally hide from her to keep her from talking down to me and it makes me push her away. That is why it's so hard for me to forgive her because she refuses to change her ways.
Ive never heard this way of looking at forgiveness before
Thank you so much. You are a big part of God's work. I've been struggling through this for quite some time with some family and friends who just don't understand it had lead to drain me down badly in a complete negative way that is only causing me more affliction, pressure, and pain when I'm still walking with God to learn and heal through it all, and need the time and patience that it will take to go through that process. God bless your heart and keep being the wonderful empowering part of God's grace and beautiful works
Amen! Thank you for your Encouragement! Glory to God!
"People who should have access to your Heart, are people who are walking with God's Heart as well" Great advice for Guarding our Hearts!
wow, this is a message for me even though I have already known the truth of this but it took me awhile to realize that I was doing the right thing without feeling some sort of guilt or shame because I was trying to keep my distance from the individual even though I had already forgiven.
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS...SO POWERFUL...TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAYING WHAT I'VE SAID AND FELT...THANK U JESUS...THANK U...KEEP POURING IT OUT SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE TO RECEIVE FRM U...
This is an awesome message, I had to do this with a few of my family members, eventually God gave me peace! Am more happy without them in my life than when they were apart of my life!
Thank you for this video.
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
Please make a video on creating boundaries. I struggle with this a lot
I agree, I remember when Lot and his brother (either Abraham or Job/forgot) argued and agreed to go separate ways. The two I guess forgave and loved each other but recognized they didn’t get along any more. Reconciliation and forgiveness seem the same but are different.
Thank you for this! 🙏 ✝️
One of the most difficult things I ever had to do was ask forgiveness of someone who hurt me very badly. But I too had done some inappropriate actions and needed to confess them to her. She didn't think what I did was wrong but I confessed none the less. I never saw her again, but I was able to move on.
I needed this today! Thank you sissy! 🌻
Great messages! So much wisdom! Thank you for sharing Gods truth!
if you can please do a video on boundaries! 👍
Amen... SO ON POINT MY SISTER!!! #LiberationMode
God Bless You for these videos they are so consistent and helpful. Praying for you 🤍💜
So true, I live by this. We have to forgive but that doesn't mean we keep dealing with abuse n mistreat over n over again. To God be the glory , let go that dead weight but forgive first.. forgive for your own peace!!
Allie, agree with you 100 percent! God's Word does say , "Keep the evil person away from you". These are the false accusers, liars, persecuters.
Very well said !! Thank you
Hello Allyson, thanks for your wise words, they helped me so much and arrived at the right moment of my life! God has every tiny detail planned for us.
What if someone that abuse, humiliate, and underestimate us is our husband? Thank you Ally for the response
Sometimes God closes doors for a reason, you need to forgive yes but sometimes you need to move forward to where the Lord is leading. Take for example the story Moses Exodus, God has something better for us ahead. Truth is if it was for you, it wouldn't pass you by. Yes forgive but also trust in the plans of the Lord, because he closes and opens doors.
I HAVE 4 GAVE🌸...BUT I WILL NOT LET THEM BACK IN MY LIFE!!!😇
Yeah did that with my ex-girlfriend candy we broke up at 2009 she's married now but man she was cheating all that stuff he was in crack cocaine selling her body. I didn't cheat although we weren't married but thank God we didnt get weren't Married that was too nice the nicest guy I can't believe I stick with her for 12 years off and on and she kept on cheating Lol may I forgive and release long distance amen for that took a long time for me to learn. Alex from waukesha Wisconsin
Veey smart amen
WOW I so needed to hear this, thank you so much for posting this Ally, God Bless
I totally get what your saying, but what
if God is asking me to reach out to these people who have hurt me with
his Supernatural strategies in how to reach their broken hearts, it’s so weird
God has asked me to reach out to them
with his love to reach their hearts, and I see things breaking off in the spiritual
by the strategies of God in prayer,
but at the same time God is keeping
me in a distance to them but yet asking
me to pray and text them every once in a while, I feel God’s deep deep love for them.
It reminds me of how a Minister David Wilkerson reached out to Nicki Cruise in the inner city of New York ti reach out to one of the most dangerous gangs at that time, back in the 60’s I think it was, and how the leader Niki Cruise and his gang got saved, God gave this Minister Supernatural strategies to reach these people, there was a book called The Cross and the switch blade book put out plus a movie. I don’t recommend doing what
I’m doing unless the Lord reveals to you to do this, but forgiveness is very
important..
Amen! I've been dealing with a hurtful situation for a couple of years. I've forgiven them and asked for forgiveness in my part in it. I was then dealing with the thoughts of what do I need to do now? The good Lord said let it go and go your separate ways. Even though I miss the many years of friendship I know this is our heavenly father will.
Praise God & Amen! Thank you for your wisdom here.
Amen and forgiveness is key cause the Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven us by going through the brutality of the crucifixion 😢, but was raised by the power of The Almighty 😇. We must forgive 70x7. This warrior had to.
Thank you allison for your helpful videos it gives me peace and release , i forgive my x fiance but your right forgive him but not ket him back in my life specially if he causing me so much pain and hurtful.i forgive him and i understand but i decide to let him go ..i hurt but i am at peace now by God's grace and mercy..Godbless you allison and i am still watching more of your inspirational videos..love you and Godbless you so much:)
God continue to empower you Allyson
Thank you for the inspiration! It’s exactly what I needed. 🙏
Thanks Allyson for this, it’s so relatable. 🙏🏾
thanks again for all your help and support.
I really needed to hear this
*liked before started*: thank you Ally! I wish you did more videos sis. Missing you these days :)
If God forgave us and didn't have anything else to do with us, where would we be. Of course some relationships are toxic and dangerous. Those abusive relationships yes run for your life. However, disagreements, someone made a pure decision, etc, we are to forgive and reconcile. The bible tells us if we have ought in our hearts with our brother to leave our gift at the alter and go make amends and then come and give your gift. All i know is, for as many times God has forgiven us, we should go and do likewise.
Love is a must, relationship is a choice.
Amen🙌📖
Thank you and God Bless you I needed to hear this. Bless you
Amen sister!
I respect that! Your videos are very helpful
I needed to hear this video Ally thank you I hope you enjoy the rest of your day and take care of yourself :)
I had to watch it twice and comment twice. Thank you
Thank you very much for this revelation.Gbu.
Wowwww...God blessed u sweety ,great message 🙏💕🙏💕🙏💕🙏💕🙏💕🙏💕🙏👑
Thank youuuu ma'am..God bless you.. these words are needed for me..coz I have this same doubt and now it's cleared..all Glory to Jesus Christ 💕..Amen
I really needed this... Thank you
Messages of wisdom knowledge & understanding. ..🎈💖🎈💖🎈
Write a book! This is pure gold!
#GirlOnFire
Your messages is from the Holy Spirit, I hope one day HE☝️ brings my future wife that's not only beautiful, but has HIS☝️ Grace flaming within her, like y❤️u. May G❤️D Bless in all your ways.
I forgive them. I just do not let them back in. When they do not want God, I have to let them go. I do not want to live with my controlling mother anymore.
Thank you. I totally agree
"Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend is a good book to read ladies. Of course God's word always speaks truth to our situations.
You’re so great at speaking the words of god 💕💕
I really needed this! ❤
Thank you so much for this Aly!!!!
Well said sister ❤️