The Secret to Being Strong When You're Feeling Weak (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
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In this week's episode of LOVELife, I discuss an important life lesson from the book "The Catcher in the Rye" along with a secret to coaching that can change the way you deal with life's difficult moments.
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I need to make a folder of all this guy's advice. Its brilliant. And I mean advice outside the dating arena. His general life and work advice is so good.
Yes Helena ..I agree .
yup his general life advice is even better than his dating life. wish he had a channel just on general life advice
This is really nice
Agreed
This video just explained in words what I have felt all these years about why I chose to study medicine and become a doctor.
Exactly
Feeling needed is important, I've been in a few relationships where she didn't want my help, or advice, or anything. What happens is that you feel shut out of their life, and it causes a rift.
What if the person you need to be strong for is yourself? Finding the inner strength of not being weak because the person you cared for the most didn't appreciate you. Know what I mean?
This video vlog was simply amazing Mathew. I am 41 and I spend 33 of those years serving others. I raised my 5 siblings since the age of eight for 20 years and then instead of going to college I move to another state to help two of my cousins raise their children (9 all together). I did this for six years and when I moved closer to where my siblings and mother was at I started helping them raise their children (13 altogether). I have put my life on hold for them and I love all those 22 kids as if they where my own. I am not married and I do not have children, but I know one day soon that door will open. Even though at times I feel like giving up on myself and my dreams I find strength in the ones who need my help.
not just people are in need, but animal rescue as well!!! lots of organizations to help people more in need then ourselves. like kids with cancer, st. jude, animal rescue, veterans. etc. when i did pet therapy for the veterans, it was priceless!
you saved my life bro..i waz about to quit life today..i am a simple guy and i know this msg will not reach to you..I need you Big Bro..My soul iz paining ):
I hope you're doing well. Stay strong
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Relationship And Style Tips For Indians im sorry ❤️
I love this. I've been battling major depression for most of my adult life. It's been as bad as it can get, I overdosed 3 yrs ago and was on life support for a week and was mad as hell when I awoke and realized I was still here. But...even though it gets the best of me at times, I always manage to pull myself out again. I have people a hell of a lot worse off than me...my nephew with terminal MD , and my sister who cares for him at home 24/7. Every day he is here is a gift . Her reliance on me is what keeps me strong because she faces the possibility of losing her son every single day. I also have an 11 yr old daughter she is obviously the #1 reason I am still here. She is my life. What you said is absolutely true.
Buy yourself some flowers, buy your daughter some paints and paper. And spend quality time together. Wish you good days.
You are one strong woman.
Strong woman xxx
You are strong Carolyn.♥️
Even i today I found my purpose after watching this video. God bless u dear.😇
So true that's why I'm still alive today. My dad died suddenly 2 yrs ago but only 4 months after my mum died too, last year Things got too hard. Scared myself but then felt guilt because of my young brother and my young cousins. Could not bare having them be messed up because of me.They are why I'm alive. They don't it but I hope to be a part of their life until that day comes. It also brought me closer to accepting change in life and knowing what life is really about. A good book to read is called Tuesdays with Morrie. I read it when my mum was dying and when she did it helped me help my dad.
English major here. Love this kind of video. Also, even if you move away, like I did, you still bring yourself with you. Even though the change was liberating, I found I still had the same flaws and learned that I also had to change myself.
If people fail on me in my personal life, then i can always live for my patients which is awesome. Love it.
Yes it is so true, whenever I am feeling weak and I feel like giving up. When I try to reach out to someone that is in more need than me. And I know that I helped them, makes me such a happier and confident person. :) Good video!
Here in Philippines, Many of us are working abroad and it's very hard for us to leave our loved ones but because we want to give them a better future, we keep in mind that our loved ones need us to do a little sacrifice for a better future of the family and that's what keeps us strong and what keeps us going through hard times.. So, I think you're very right! ;)
Filipinos are rude, racist and disgusting people. Plus you eat little PUPPIES. Stay in your own country.
$-Layla_Neight-$ who is being racist right now?
or better yet, I hope you can forgive them. ;)
$-Layla_Neight-$ You must be very depressed or frustrated for attacking innocent people base on there race, I feel sorry for you. Hope you get better soon.. FYI Filipino are very warm,loving people
$-Layla_Neight-$ Erm... Do you know EVERY Filipino to say that? NO, I answered that question for you
I loved that! A lot of times people have pity parties and I'm one of them. To realize that other people are hurting, other people are in need, makes you stop take a breath and think. Then you look outward instead of inward and things become less dramatic and more uplifting. You realize you have something that someone needs and you offer things out instead of just sucking them in. Your an amazing man and wise beyond your years. Have a good day Dianna!
I have seen this example in real life with my mom and her brother. They went through a very intense trauma when they were little and because of that stayed not co-dependent but very supportive and protective of each other. They took an unhealthy situation and turned it into a healthy one! It goes back and forth each taking turns, in a sense, in the strong person role.
This is exactly how I survived my childhood. I had to be strong for my sister despite being horribly abused. You are right there is always someone that needs yourself. Key is to not focus on yourself but focus on others.
a lot of time when i wanna give up and everything, feeling very low, the thought that someone cared about me and wouldn't want to see me like this motivates me to get out of the despair and be strong again. Its exactly because you know they need you and that YOU means something to them, that you can not just give up for YOURSELF because there is still someone out there that put so much effort and care into you.
"There are many people who need what you have...", is what i suddenly realized , after having the chance to help some less fortunate than i am. it changed my perception of viewing life. It IS a great recipe indeed. it gave much more meaning to mine, being strong for serving someone who for many reasons didn't had the chance to be loved or taking care of.. if everyone gave just a bit of themselfs for a good cause, it would have such an impact to this world that we re living!
I wasn't expecting that, but this message really hit me. I felt like you reached inside me and untied a knot that has been there for a long time
My children. They are my reason for being strong and overcoming life's challenges!
Please continue this segment! You are the reason I found my favorite book. A book that helped me rise out of one of the darkest times if my life. Literature has a funny way of shedding light on unfortunate or unexpected circumstances. And you have a wonderfully inspiring way of reaching out to help others. Together, you have helped me believe that I deserve to love and be loved every day of my life.
Thank you Matt
I couldn't hold my tears 😭 while you kept on elaborating on how if we don't have anyone to be strong for we haven't meet them yet. This is why I choose the health field to help others
My daughter has Crohn's. I stay strong to be her inspiration. She told me as much in a very sweet card.
The penny has dropped!!! This is EXACTLY the reason I gravitate to helping others, it helps me in return. . . always knew that but you put it into words for me. You are a true diamond Michael Hussey! Thank you & Respect!! 🙊
purple lilly x Matthew 😁
I have watched many of your videos, but this is the first time I’ve seen this one. For some reason, this brought me to tears. Such a beautiful story and lesson. Thank you for sharing.
I was depressed since i had a car accident and went on a fight with some guy in the street...eventhough nothing really went that bad but i felt depressed the whole day...and when i heard these words...i felt cool since nothing bad happened to the ones i love or need my presence...so i felt releaved some how...so thanx man...
The fault in our stars, Looking for Alaska, Perks of being a wallflower...THESE ARE BOOKS WE CAN LEARN FROM!!
When I moved across the country to escape my toxic environment, I had my two cats. I came to LA with little money, but a lot of ambition. I took 3 jobs for more than a year and worked weekends and holidays. When I was exhausted and weak arriving home from standing all day, feeding my cats and watching them eat gave me strength. I could't think, "I can't do this". I could only think, "I have to do this". Now I am happy and settled in a full time job :)
Matthew, I needed to hear this tonight. It was just there at the top of my suggested videos when I was unable to stop crying and knew I just needed to listen to something. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I really 'got' what you said. I'm so grateful you were there. I'm a strong positive person but we all have our moments of weakness. I am a counsellor and a single mum and others do need me and I can see that this is a blessing. Hugs xx
This is so true! I'm back and forth and all over the place with my emotions right now! I'm drawing my strength from all my loved ones! Helping as much as I can my whole family is hurting right now! I'm gonna stay strong, I will not go back into that black 🕳️ hole again!!! Thank you so much Matthew!!! I love you so so so much!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Every time I feel lost, I find your advices. They're like magical. Thank you a lot.
Yes, sometimes caring for someone is enough.
Oh my god. This video almost make me cry. There are so many times we try to get ourselves stronger but it always end up we give up. However when u think about if you are needed and you need to stay strong for those ppl who need you, I feel powerful again!
I totally agree with this.
When my mother died in 2016.
I have found myself alone with my father who has Alzheimer dementia.
And i was very down because i have lost a very big part of my soul.
My faith in God helped me.
But also the thing that my father was in need to me.
And i had to be strong for him and to take care about him.
I didn't have the right to abdicate.
And here i am today.
Stronger than i have never been.
You can hate something that is in reality a good thing for you.
Good lesson of life...
True that! I feel like that for my little girl - had her when I was 20 and damn life challenged the crap out of us - but in face of her innocence the strength to shine for her and show her the impossible was possible was so strong I managed it in the end. Thanks Matthew dude you are a really diverse human being on the road to some seriously layered understandings on life! Yeeha!
I totally agree! Matthew is wise beyond his years, in soooo many areas of life. So glad I found him. :)
I totally got your advice because a few months ago and even today on rare occasions, I was really suicidal and the only reason I stayed was my mother. I'd just feel too guilty for her. She'll never know it but she saved my life. Thanks Matt❤
this was beautiful Matthew! I have my dog.. don't want anyone else to take care of him. I've suffered from depression my whole life.. thank you for this! meant a lot!
Wow! What a great inside! I do believe what u believe in that the secret of being strong when u r feeling weak is to b strong for someone else. I have experienced it again and again in my life. And if u don’t have any person to b there for... then find an animal to help, to b strong for, to try to make his/her life less vulnerable and less sad. People that know me well, and know about the horrible things I have gone through in life, have told me how amazingly strong I am as a person and as a woman. Some even go to the extend to say that I am amazingly awesome...to what I immediately reply “no, God is amazingly awesome!” I believe that even in the most devastating life experiences (time and time again) we can find so much joy and an inexplicable peace, and this super natural strength to b there for someone else. “God, help me to help others even as u have sent others to help me in my times of need -even in my weakest time help me to b strong for others/r for some one”. That has been a prayer/a tool in the last 20 devastating years of my life. And I can’t tell u how strong this really is!
Matthew, I want to express how meaningful this topic was to me. I've had a difficult life and I'm only 23. When I was 18 I chose to move states to live close to my little half-sisters that live with their step-dad. It was hard being on my own, without emotional support from my previous family or friends. My entire life I always felt like I wanted to run away from the hardships, and that somehow my life would be better in that place. The feeling my sisters' made me feel, just by being in their lives, helped me realize that If I had someone who cared about me and helped me the way I do for my sisters' when I was their age, those years would have been much happier for me. Since then, being their big sister has helped stabilize me in many ways, and want to improve my life to benefit and share with my sisters, my mom, and my step-dad (even though they have been separated for many years, he appreciates what I do for my sisters and he's in a way adopted me as a daughter).
This made my day! Thanks!
I started to feel weak and then I saw this. Thank you Matt... ❤
I was in a relationship with my ex for 10 years, we never married and had a child together, on December 5th he kicked me out if his house and forced me on the street. I was heart broken scared and most of all alone I'm glad I subscribed to this channel to be able to hear his advice. Its gotten me through a lot.
This video came into my life at the right moment. It's crazy when you wake up thinking your day is already horrible and then you go on RUclips and a person usually giving love advice helps you get through a tough morning. I appreciate you Matthew!
Thank you so much, Matthew, for those great words. I've already seen so many of your videos. Now, this is the first one I leave a comment on. Because I had the same experience as you are describing it: During the last years I felt so weak - I lost my job, left my flat to move to a guy in another town (just to move outside a few months later^^) and so on and so on... Last year I decided to help refugees here in Germany (like teaching german, networking, organising meetings, look for flats and furniture...) And it changed my entire life. Being there for them gave me back the strenghts I need for myself, their attitudes, their habits and their smiling gave me so much power. So... although they lost everything in life and they seem not to havig anything...: They give us their smile, their lovely behavior; they are sooo great and powerful - and - in the end of the day - I found out how to love myself again.
Thank you all! I wish for you love and peace
This was just what I needed tonight. 14 year ago my husband died and I wanted to end my life. A dear friend said," but you have your 2 sons and they need you." This was the only thing that pulled me out of my darkness, and I began to heal!! Thank you for your excellent advise!
I rewatched this an it made me cry.
I lost my brother in march this year an we were so close. But I have been doing this to heal I think ( helping people) It keeps my mind focused an active..
if I had to chose a person to live for it would be my daughter she is my life saver!
I thought "feeling strong when you are weak" was so poignant, and beautifully told by Matthew!
I wish more people would have taken that from the story because I think it's an important message, especially for today
No I don't think that this segment was too far out in left field from what you do. I think it was point on for the people you help, and that is what you do Matthew
Relate, I cried
But when I'm weak i just want to entertain myself to smile.
Such an important and powerful message and so true! I have totally found this to be 100% applicable to my personal life. I heard from a meditation teacher once that the shortcut to enlightenment is to be of service to others.
happened to me few days ago. I was depressed because of a breakup and my best friend was gone. talked to another friend who needed my help and I forgot the feeling of sadness. need to find more people to help :) thanks for this video♥
Very different but I love this. It makes complete sense to be strong for another gives you unbelievable strength.
My sister. She deserves happiness that we didn't have growing up.
It's been about 20 years since I read "The Catcher in the Rye" back in school... AMAZING how the lesson was just as impactful back then, as it is now. I remember the story about Holden & Phoebe now and I thought I had learned the lesson already, but apparently I needed to hear it again. Thank you Matthew, your advice is much appreciated.
You gave me a greater understanding of the book than my english teacher did... so thank you!
Everytime I am feeling down or weak. I always tell myself I have to be strong for myself. It is such an incredibly strong feeling to keep yourself up. My husband and I are going though a divorce and sometimes i just want to say fuck it all and try to be with him, I go through the motions, i get sad, i feel hurt, but I always comfort myself . I tell myself this is a chance for a better opportunity, to find love again. To find someone who you are actually compatible with. Just the idea that comes in my head that one day I will find someone who is truly in love with me and will want to hold on to me forever gives me butterflies. I am not always strong, but I remind myself I have to be strong for myself.
As a nurse who works in emergency medicine, this explains why my job can be sooo stessful but oh so fulfilling.
I am librarian, I read that book many times, analysed it but never thought in this way! Thank you Matthew so much for that idea.
Please please pleeeeaseeee make more videos on life advice!! Not only the message is great, but also your energy and your warmth when you're expressing it.
Great episode. I just bumped into it. It reinforces my belief that to humble ones self is not to humiliate yourself, but to become properly introspective. To be a leader is to be a servant of many.
I love uplifting and empowering people! It is my biggest drive!
Matthew, I think you just answered the entire purpose of life. I've been feeling worthless for a long long time but kept going for my kids. Now that they're gone I've had very dark thoughts - the least is running away. I haven't been feeling wanted or needed even if I know it's not true. I'm going to try to fulfill this need for myself and whoever needs me.
This was incredible advice, and it succinctly explained why I'm drawn to community service. I'm a sensitive-wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve kinda girl. I cried when I heard Kanye's new song "Only One," and I also cried when I missed an important meeting with a professor. While I admit that sometimes I wish could go hard like a Nicki Minaj, I have now embraced my emotional tendencies. Ironically, when I forget my strength, it is the people who seek my help that help me rediscover my strength. I couldn't agree with you more, and it was a refreshing hiatus from your uncanny on-point dating advice. I also appreciated the literary allusion. Your message was so clearly illustrated with the Catcher in the Rye scenario. Thanks for that and for the advice to what I presume is mostly directed to women. From what I've seen thus far, it isn't condescending. My impression has been that you validate a girl's feelings and you never lose sight of their strength, so thanks for that too. Much love- Sara.
I have always felt like Holden.
Thank you, Mathew. I needed this
we need this in all aspects of our lives. not just dating.
now I'm in my deep thoughts.????? Hmp!
I loved the video on the secret to being strong, you are so right on, there is people who are worse off than what I am going through, a broken heart from a break up, my daughter needs me, my students in my classroom need me to teach them and this will help me through, I believe it. There kind videos rock. ...
I love the idea of finding someone to be strong for. Right now I am going to search for one such person. That's so brilliant and I am so grateful to have heard you today.
Powerful story really made me think , when I feel weak I get negative thoughts which I'm constantly trying to fight then I think of the people I've helped doing voluntary work which then makes me feel good
This is so true, both ways. My mom has always been strong for me and my brother ever since our father left. Now my brother is out of the house and I'm becoming more independent you can see all these hidden wounds flourishing like flowers rising from the dead. I have the same though, I am a magnet when it comes to attracting girls that are full of unprocessed sadness/grief. I keep myself strong for them and when they decide for whatever reason that we should break up it angers me because I've been helping them the entire time. Now I realize it's because I'm faced with my own weaknesses again, I call them cowards for giving up but I'm the coward running away from my own problems.
I have a similar thing now, I've been keeping myself strong for over half a year and now my girlfriend decided to break up so she can stop hurting me with her foolish behavior and allow herself time to get over her ex I just let it all go. I feel so amazingly worn out, like a rubber band that just snapped. It's only been a week and because I finally decided to deal with them I am discovering so many oozing wounds. And I don't even care about having someone that will be strong for me, I just want someone that listens, someone that like me will help and hold my hand while staring into the abyss instead of coaching me to be an athlete that can jump over it.
Matthew, I am so pleasantly in awe of how you use your platform. You started out with dating advice and you are evolving in something that nurtures the entire soul of man. I've been watching your videos on dating for sometime now but never subscribed. Until now. Thank you.
I immediately wrote a long email to a friend in HK. She is the one makes me feel strong, and also the one who is strong when I am weak. I am thinking about read the book again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Matthew
just tears , matt, just tears and a smile coming out of me because of this video.
You are such an incredible story teller. You have the patience to speak and form complete pictures so we can understand. This was inspirational, really very skilled at this.
I luv this message. Many thanks from Philippines. Depression got the best from me and after watching this it reminded me I had people who needed me. Thank u
This video just popped up right when I needed to and made me think of my daughter the most
Love the fact that you're challenging us. You're right, we appreciate it when you talk about something you want to share and it isn't about love, listening to your opinion it is so interesting and fascinating
Woah this is exactly what I have been going through for the last 16 months because I completely tore my Acl and I have worse damage now because I have been waiting to get acl reconstruction surgery but this injury a career ending in sports. Some ppl quit sports all together but some continue and risk tearing it multiple times. I now realized that I need to keep being strong for myself because i know that someone else doesn't know how to be that way with me.
I really needed to hear this Matthew, and its been such welcome advice on a particularly "weak" day. People think it is their careers and personal accomplishments that keep them going. While those are very important and you could never fully realize yourself without those achievements, the only reason you wake up in the morning is if you can, as you put it so wonderfully well, "be strong" for somebody else. I am not in a great place right now, but I am doing all that I can to help my cousin avoid the mistakes I made while growing up, having no mentor or role model type of figure myself.
I'm crying. Thank you, Matthew!
Matthew..... I found you when I was looking for a relationship coach and dating coach. This has been very enlightening and I find myself becoming addicted to you and all of your information. Outstanding and so amazing, I want to talk to you in person. I am 46 and starting over in life..I had a friend w/benefits situation that has left me very hurt ...would love to share w you one day . I very very much NEED your retreat but can not this time, because of finances at this time. I'm very sad about that. 😅 I've always told people and myself at times we need to get out of our own head and get out of self and do something for somebody else. Amazing that you just did this with this book. I have learned and applied many of the sayings and life lessons I hear you say in your videos, not just for dating and relationships. I love your wording and how you can turn a situation totally around with just a few words... I watched the videos and I have to watch another one and another one and another one, I absolutely adore you and appreciate you, you have nby. Idea how much doll! Can you just come to Houston, Texas and we can go have lunch lol, I absolutely love you ! I would love to clone you and just have a boyfriend or significant other that thinks like you and looks like you too , (you have a very alluring sex appeal by the way)😉....Do you think that would be possible? Wink, wink.
I hope I get the chance to speak with you very soon. I don't know how, but very soon!
My email is
letabray2014@
gmail.com ,
I would love to communicate with you!
I always have people tell me I should have no problem getting any man I ever wanted, yet I have the worst time finding, ( I am very picky ), getting, and keeping one or just making platonic male friends!! They say they fall in love and can't have companionship because IRS too hard to hang out with me and not get to sleep with me !!!😫😫 GEEZ! I am about to scream !! lol
so I am alone all of the time and ready to find my best friend!! Your truly the best doll!! hugzz to you !!
So true. You will always be stronger for others than you would for yourself 😢 I think of my children to be strong for and I think of how much pain my parents would feel if I did anything silly
I feel weak about my life right now, I am thankful for you to keeping me sane :)
Every tym i heard u nd like tht how can u easily know wht is going on my heart...i feel the same and now helping some one who is really like going throw my condition m trying to help her out to how to over come the problem even 1 week before i was in tht same sitution...and thou i found a magical strength inside me ... 💕love for u
Your advice is absolutely true, I to have encountered huge life altering events for life in the past three years back to back so much so that I too wanted to run and hide but I have a son and people who love me who also were suffering and I told myself no, I'm needed here.... I find that I am at my best when I'm taking the time to be of service....
Although I am not single I find your lectures inspirational. This one discussion really touched my heart because I, like many others, have been on this side of despair and its an important thing to remember that someone out there thinks you're special and important in their life. Great job!
I can understand the concept of getting strength through helping others. On the other hand, in my personal experiences, it's fairly common that the people I try to help when I feel weak end up tearing me apart by accident. I think it depends on why you feel weak and how you are helping someone that determines whether it is beneficial or harmful. My grandmother always says that there is no on that will take better care of you than you, so look after yourself first and foremost. This doesn't mean don't help people or don't be vulnerable, it just means that if someone is doing damage to you, you need to do something to change it.
I've been feeling weak for months and I really needed to hear this right now!! Thankyou Matt !!!
I believe in synchronicity. I’m a teacher who happens to be suffering from depression that I haven’t been able to manage and today was an awful day with my students. I wanted to quit or go on medical leave and felt like giving up. But I know they need me and I have to be strong for my students as they look to me as a role model so I’ll be channeling my inner Holden Caufield next week. And it’s quite fitting cause I’m an English teacher.
This came EXACTLY when I needed it!! Thank you Matthew! You have changed my life for the better!
Wow! Powerful words? Currently in a situation that's making me feel weak and just wanting to get away, which I did before. Your talk has made me realise that I know someone I can be strong for and who needs me to be strong for them but I've been so focused on Me, I have forgotten the value of giving not just taking (Why isn't he calling). Thanks Matthew.
I really love the videos when you address the deeper problems we face in life. Really inspiring, Thank you!
You literally don’t know how desperately I needed this. Thank you Mathew, you are such a blessing ♥️
Thank you so much. I just know what to do now. My brother has the same problem and i need him. He is my only sibling. You help me a lot.
Was a hard day today for me and your words make me feel less hopeless. Thank you Matthew.
wow... these words are so powerful. Somehow this video made me understand the love mothers feel towards their children. totally off topic but thats the kind of strong feeling that i sense coming from parents...
Mathew! This lesson is life changing!! You are sensitively brilliant! Thank goodness for your wisdom and speaking to our souls!
My favorite of your videos to date. Love your passion, your willingness to push out of the box, your wisdom, and the relevance of your message...so many are needing to find strength right now. Tough times for a lot of folks. XOXO
wow, i read this book when i was 18. I am almost 30 now, I feel like rereading it, time always changes perspectives.
I believe a lot of people need to hear and understand this message.
Thank you for sharing!
I need to hear this today. Thank you so much Matt! You have no idea how this affects my life in a good way. I have always been so weak.. It is time to be strong! From one of your biggest fan in Dallas Texas, Pauline (like your mom's name)
Much love and admiration. Keep it up!
This is wonderful. I love how you always give me a new prespective about things I never thought of in that way. You always challenge me and that is why I keep on watching you, so keep up the good work because I need to be challenged! Xoxo
Brilliant coaching - who do you serve, who needs your stories and strengths. Love the use of text also - totally worked for me!