Distorted Thoughts from Depression? | Anthony Bourdain Case Analysis
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- Опубликовано: 29 дек 2024
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Anthony Boudain? He was the topic of a 2021 documentary titled “Roadrunner: A Film about Anthony Bourdain.”
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Tony Bourdain helped me get sober. I was newly pregnant and trying to go cold turkey from IV heroin and cocaine. No one around me knew the extend of my addiction, or understood what I was trying to do. The only thing I had was the book Kitchen Confidential. I read it 30 times that first year of sobriety. He kept me sober because he understood. I miss him.
Personally, I think he had cyclothemic disorder, like me. Mostly because he was so functional. Even Bipolar II wouldn't be that well hidden for that long. Doctors just do not see cyclothemic disorder. If you don't have extended depressive periods, or extended hypomanic periods, they say you're just depressed. But treating the depression doesn't treat the cyclothemic disorder as a whole.
Thanks for sharing that. That's just so ...incredible and believable at the same time.
I hope your baby was ok.
@@bingonamo7520 he was, birth defects from drugs and alcohol abuse happen later in pregnancy. I stopped using before I was 6 weeks.
@@loreleialexander8607 That's good to know. Glad you are both ok.
I know people who've met him. they said he was truly a wonderful human. he came to a poor area of the state I live in. very poor. He truly was so kind and treated the people he interacted with like they were -- oh I don't know how to say it-- like they were above him-- he was so humble and kind and uplifting. I hope and pray his soul is at peace and rest.
That's a very nice post! 😊
Amen. I really hope that too!
Most Cucks are nice guys and great fathers and step fathers.
That's fantastic , what A loving person we all should aspire to , people that have experienced a lot of pain somehow can give more love , we are all equal no matter what decisions we make
Thank you for telling us about that.
As someone who has been blaming himself all his life for his depression, it is reassuring to to me to hear Dr. Grande's words. It's not our fault. Thank you, Dr.
I agree! I found this episode strangely soothing & eye-opening. Such genuinely compassionate words - thanks @Dr. Todd Grande
No, it's not our fault.
🖤
Do not blame yourself for knowing what people are thinking no.. Never..
Sometimes those thoughts are not your own. Especially if they are repeatative and negative. You don't have to listen to every thought either. You can let them pass by or ignore them if you choose. You are the analyst of those thoughts, pay attention to them and choose the ones you want to keep.
To me Anthony Bourdain was a masterful story teller. He gave such life to his travels, you could almost feel the sun or wind on you, smell the amazing scents he was experiencing, taste what he was tasting. I give him so much credit for opening up so much of the world to so many of us, and showing us how to travel with the eyes of a child, absorbing and experiencing, and creating beautiful tapestries of memories.
When Anthony Bourdain died I had only just begun to watch his CNN show & I was so sad. One of my favorite is when he & Barack Obama (at the time former US President) ate a meal in a humble restaurant. It was magical. Bourdain at the time of that show seemed more interested in the people than any particular food he was eating. That made the show deeper than worship of food which seems to be so big now. Shows about food contests using weird food combos to win money is a turn off. It's the people eating the food & having conversations about whatever that made his show great.
He had so much to offer and he didn’t even see it… we are so complicated, and our own worse enemy… I’ve been in a self destructive mode for 17 years since my life long husband divorced me.. I got hit head on and had 10 surgeries… he said “I ruined his dreams” and wanted out …. I can understand AB’s self destruction, it somehow makes you pay penance for something you don’t even know you did 😢
It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness.
Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression.
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
@@Wizard-jf8rp it's so difficult to source Here 😟
@@sherrimandel6983 came across some comments about myco_louiis.
I must recommend he is good at what he does
One of my students (17) once called him "Uncle Anthony" after I mentioned his name in one of my classes. This was close to 20 years ago. I asked her about the remark after class and she told me her parents owned a Filipino restaurant in (Woodside?) Queens and Bourdain (from Manhattan) came to eat there several times a year for several years. The following day she showed me pics of her with Anthony and her parents and other family members at the restaurant. She loved him (which is why she called him "Uncle Anthony") She said he came to their restaurant as much to see them as to eat there. The impression this left me with was Bourdain was a very humble man with an open mind (re: whom he chose to allow into his orbit)
Anthony Bourdain was a hero of mine. It was horrible news, when he died.
yes very nice and sweet personality
That's real to me.
I don't believe for one minute that his death was suicide nor was Kate Spade a suicide. these were deaths by homicide. Pedo Obama and the witch HRC.
At first look Anthony comes off as cynical, but I think he was somewhat like many of us who are extremely sensitive, care about other people, injustices in this world, etc. Being like that makes it extremely difficult to just live in this world, & when you add lifelong depression to it, it becomes almost impossible to breathe & keep going sometimes.
From what little I’ve heard about Asia Argento, I think she probably has a similar sensitivity as well. It’s likely what drew them to each other & caused them to have a volition relationship as well. I don’t think it’s fair to blame her for his death. My guess is she hates herself for it & blames herself more than the rest of the world ever could. The best thing for everyone to do is pray for the repose of Anthony’s soul, for Asia, Anthony’s daughter, & all his family & friends. I remember seeing seeing video of his daughter after his death, & it broke my heart.
The fact that a guy who had everything going for him: a wife, kids, fame, wealth, talent, a full head of hair at an old age, and a job consisting of travelling the world and eating exotic foods, could kill himself is baffling to me. But it just shows that the debilitating effects of depression do not discriminate. It's insidious. It's merciless... It's just pure fucking evil. And no one is safe from it.
I'm am so very sad 😭😭 but depression is an illness . Please reach out for help if you feel you need it . My prayers sent 🙏
I wouldn't exactly call 61 years OLD AGE 🙄
Robin Williams
Yes and a full head of hair . As a bald guy I get it .
He would drink liquor constantly
"The depression DECEIVED Anthony." Exactly. Depression lies. It makes its victims believe that they don't have the right to live; that they are guilty of EVERYTHING and that their guilt is punishable by death. If your depression is making you believe that you want to take you own life, GET HELP. Even if that means taking medication. Depression isn't your fault and taking medication doesn't mean that you are weak. Taking medication doesn't have to be forever. You have the right to live and to take steps to ensure that you survive the lies that depression makes you believe.
Exactly. I would only like to add, to those wondering, that the reason some people leave their children like Bourdain abandoned his daughter when he killed himself, is that the depression tells them that everyone, including their children, are better off without them.
@@thatsalt1560 Yes. Another of the lies that depression makes its victims believe. When depression gets to that point, victims must take steps to survive. Get help. Take medication if that's what ensures your survival. Depression is an enemy; it isn't a weakness or feeling sorry for oneself.
Good comment.
@@TheSouthIsHot this. So many people view it as feeling sorry for yourself when you finally have the courage to open up, but they don’t realize you’ve been bottling it so long and you’re only hearing it now because I’m about to explode.
@@bartholomewpinecone6562 Yes. It takes an immense amount of courage for a victim of depression to talk about it. The last thing they need is to be blamed. People need to be educated that depression isn't a choice and, when someone talks about it, they need to be encouraged to get help because they are battling a powerful enemy that can't be conquered alone.
You can have it all yet still feel empty inside. Terribly sad ending.
@@rominahorn427
Depression has nothing to do with fame.
@@ericsierra-franco7802 Idk about that one... Kurt Cobain said the same thing and now he's dead
And a young woman is not going to fill that gap. But so they think.
Happiness isn't about having it all though. That's where 99% of the population goes wrong.
@@jeziscricket4448 Kurt Cobain never said that.
Kurt Cobain was depressed before he ever had fame.
A lot kinder and more compassionate than your video on Anne Heche, which appears to be gone, thankfully. In case you were wondering what other actors thought of her, here is one of many pieces of written praise.
Actress Emily Bergl shared a lengthy tribute on Facebook, in which she spoke about working with Heche for two years on Men in Trees.
"She elicited more curiosity than any other famous person I've ever worked with," Bergl shared, noting that Heche's work was "impressive, arresting, and dazzling."
"Anne was not only a genius, but one of the most astoundingly focused and prepared actors I've ever worked with. I don't think I ever saw her miss stepping on her mark once," Bergl wrote, in part. "Despite a sometimes harrowing life, she was so much fun to be around. She was insouciant, joyous, insightful. It's a cliche but she really did light up a room."
“Filtered through a dark lens of depression”
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more accurate phrase to describe how depression warps and taints everything and everyone you come into contact with.
Yes, that really sums it all up, doesn't it? ❤
Thank fuck for Seroxat .
Check out the RUclips videos - this psychologist named Michael Yapko wrote a book about this. Depression is a social disease, and it's sad. A depressed person craves being pulled out of the muck, but will often pull others into it. Just beacause a person never feels like doing anything doesn't mean you should stop asking. My husband forced me to go to a local writer's group. I ended up making a dear friend because of it. It's hard to rejoin the living, but it's the only way to get past this awful disease.
@@dianegordon5366 I agree. A lot of people just give up on friends/family members who are really suffering. That just adds to the depression. Glad to hear your husband was able to help you find something you enjoy, and a new friend. It really is difficult getting back into life. The longer you stay away, the harder it is. Good luck to you! ❤
@@LDiamondz It's so true that family tends to give up. They just assume you'll be alright, and in the meantime, you feel like you're dying of rejection at times. Plus the heavy weight of having to wake up to face each day, really not waning to, but being told you must,for some inexplicable reason.
When you said that he saved his most vicious criticism for himself, that hurt my heart. I got therapy from a psychiatrist for depression that I had for 3 years after the birth of my son. At first I thought, what does talking do when I can just chat with a close friend on the phone? I went from bawling through every weekly session to not shedding a tear after several months. Therapy, in addition to medication, is literally a lifesaver.
With the right therapist.
If talk therapy doesn't work, it can cause the depressed person to feel worse and even more hopeless.
If this happens, please don't give up, not all therapists are created equal, seek help in finding the right one for you.
@Anne Marie. I'm so glad therapy worked out well for you.
I'm sure your journey to health seemed long, but here you are.😊
❤️🥰
Therapy from a psychiatrist? They aren't therapists, they're doctors. I see a psychiatrist for and about my condition and medications only. I see trained therapists or psychologists for CBT, OT and currently Psychotherapy.
I'm very glad it helped you out! 😀. Talking with a trained professional is so much different to talking to a friend or loved one as they teach you techniques on things and in time you basically become your own therapist 😁
In one of his books he wrote that the best sound in the world was his clothes dryer because when he heard that he knew he was home. I think he was trapped in his life that became bigger than he ever expected. A sad ending for a superb story teller. Miss him❤️
What a great comparison! I never realized it till now. But many years ago, with 4 children, the sound of the full dryer going
felt to me like purpose and security and warmth - things I thot I’d always have. I’d forgotten all about it, now that I am old and alone….and dryers don’t sound like they used to….to me.
I miss him too.
Totally believe that!
@@A2D4 This is a little off topic but when I was young my Mom was cheap, (her admission), so she would keep the thermostat very low in the mornings before school. She was gone, so I would sit on top of the dryer to eat breakfast for warmth. I still sometimes think of that when I hear the dryer. So much for saving energy !!
And this is the fact of life, everybody needs a home. The woman is the traditional home of man. Modernity ruined the woman by ruining the ‘home’ she was meant to be. Unrewarded by life, bound to be buffeted by it’s waves like a vagabond, man can die of spirit. First we make men into beasts, then the beast eats the man.
When you live with overwhelming depression there are many days - too many days, when you simply feel like you can't live with the pain anymore. The pain and sadness are just too much to live with every single day. Too much. Unaliving yourself seems less and less scary. You become so desperate for relief the thought enters your mind more and more often.
You are so right… when you’ve tried everything and still say “I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live like this” what is option 2 😢
Negative energy tells us that being dead is better than being alive so we will be afraid to live and make this place better. The more people kill themselves and each other, the less the negative has to fight.
It's one thing to be cheated on, it's another to have it publicized to the world... we live in a sick and cruel world sometimes...
Thank you for this... as someone who suffers from chronic depression I can tell you it can manifest physically in the form of immobility, not having the energy to get out of bed and looking after simple tasks like hygiene or even feeding ones self.
@@ronaldrenegade8519 What an idiotic statement. Probably the dumbest thing I’ve read in a while. You have a profound misunderstanding of human behavior. Absolute joke.
You're right and the psyche experts have a term to describe the sheer inertia of it: "leaden paralysis". I sympathize. I struggle with this and it's a bodily affliction, not a made up excuse. Others don't understand and judge laziness. I hope you are able to feel better and better.
@@lisbethbird8268 Any advice on overcoming this crippling affliction?
@@Mr.DerekReese I'm not qualified to advise folks, and I don't know your situation, and still struggle myself. Maybe some of my thoughts for me would resonate or help you shift. Change gears. This is just in the moment top of my head.
For me the paralysis seems rooted in accumulated trauma as an actual freeze response around some events in my life. Everything from health challenges and physical pain, to interpersonal challenges and being targeted. It seemed overwhelming because there are just too many problems and where, how do I start? My brain isn't working right, my body is full of pain. Can't even figure out what is important and no motivation.
I'm thinking some small things have helped a little and the first is to try to take small steps to help your physical health; *because* you are dealing with a physical sense of paralysis. Small, doable *actions* you can take*now*. My examples include practicing a little meditation and trying to recover by eating a much healthier way, necessitating attention to this and cooking for myself. I happen to enjoy both of these enough to get a little motivation. Key is small, concrete actions. There are a million of them but I can only do one by one. As soon as you begin to move a little you're almost certain to start feeling slowly less paralyzed. Second goal is to work on a mental shift as well. To consciously examine the emotional landscape and deliberately take small actions to change it. To learn to detach just enough to be able to decide which attitudes you want to engage and which ones you don't want to indulge.
I don't have any actual therapy or medication (and have had bad experience with SSRI in the past) but taking a small dose of the amino acid precursor 5HTP has definitely helped me through the worst of this. You can get it in the drugstore or online inexpensively. Do a little research, try a couple hundred mg. Its now considered safe to use with most antidepressants if taken separately. It works or doesn't within days so you know right away if it helps. Best wishes...and just do something! Even if you have to force it at first.
@@lisbethbird8268 Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You're right. Although sometimes it feels next to impossible, I know when I get moving and just put my body in motion DOING something productive, I almost immediately start feeling a little better.
"Don't be a tourist. Be a traveller." Anthony Bourdain. I'll never forget those words. Didn't know he was suffering so. Poor man. May he rest in peace.
I heard words like that long before he came around. I was brought up with good teachers. Not teachers who did drugs and cheated, or had their own TV shows.
Not a poor man. He lived his life to the fullest.
Amen to that.
I remember this week of June 2018. Kate Spade & Anthony both passing in the exact same manner. 🥺 Thanks Dr. Grande for the analysis.
I forgot about Kate Spade. So heartbreaking when life is lost to depression.
Yep.... coincidence? I think not!
I wish they would have found each other here in this world. 💕
That's so sad....
If Anthony was going to go, he would've enjoy his heroin at least one more time. I don't believe this was his choice.
Watch Sloan Bella's reading on him.
Bourdain is the only person I had never met whose death brought me to tears.
Robin Williams and Mathew Perry for me.... two outstanding gentlemen ..
me too. Absolutely gutted.
Same. I used to watch no reservations with my young son in the late 2000s. It was our favorite show to watch together and later parts unknown. He and Robin williams are the only celebrity deaths that I've been genuinely sad over. My ex called me to ask I could talk to our son when my son read that tony passed away online.
I cried also…. The reruns aren’t the same… he was a beautiful soul 😢
Jeff Beck did that for me
It’s like his depression was a double agent kryptonite. It both made him a lovable relatable person and made him hate himself 😔
No. That isn’t right.
This really hits home for me. Sometimes we need a reminder that the distorted thinking can sneak back in very easily.
it was over her, left out was she posted something neg to his ig the day before he killed himself and then took it down, she is a witch'
Exactly
It’s also so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there.
This one hurts. I grew up reading his books and watching his show. I traveled and lived in Europe for 7 years visiting his spots and eating/living like he showed me to. I miss his influence.
We miss him too. Such a warm and humble person.
With respect, that's so much like idol worshipping (not literally) to me.
@@thatsalt1560 what I believe is that he was only warm towards those with his own ideologies. He was very much a close-minded liberal type.
@@Golgi-Gyges Where do you get your information from ? How did you even make that assumption?
@@Golgi-Gyges What exactly do you mean by "close-minded liberal type"?
I haven't watched this video yet but it already got me feeling some sort of way. He is one of the few celebrities who's death has affected me when it happened. I used to watch and rewatch all his shows. I could really connect with his words and his style. I always thought "Man it be nice to have a cold one with him someday". It hurt when he died, because I did feel as though I could always see a glint of pain in his eyes, behind his smile. I couldn't believe that was the end of all his adventures. It's proof that you could have the world literally at your fingertips and yet it doesn't stop the pain.
Rest in peace, Anthony.
Same here, I've got the video cued up but....having to bring myself to watch it. Honestly, it just goes to show that those things, worldly goods/experience, don't really matter at the end of the day. Life has meaning with more simple things like family and human connection and he lost so much in that area of his life. I read that he felt immense guilt for not being a better father and losing his marriage/family. I hope his daughter can understand someday, gotta be hard on a kid to have a famous father go that way
The day he died, I played "Midnight Train to Georgia" over and over, different versions, for hours. No idea where it came from, but ever since that day, that's his song, in my mind.
Well said Rip AB! 😞🙏🏼
I must have watched all his shows. He was never at ease....his hand movements gave it away, they were always moving even when he was walking.
@@lisbethbird8268 Lisbeth, that’s what I used to call my sister.
Thank You Dr Grande! My brother is a chef and he is so hard on himself. He tried to take his life a few months ago. He was released, and seems better, but he refused treatment. I'm worried about him, but I can only respect his privacy, encourage him, and help where I can.
So sad
Do help where ever you can. Keep reaching out. It makes such a difference, even if they don't express it. The depressed person constantly struggles w/ negative feelings they have to fight that negativity not spilling back onto who they are.
Pray for him. God love him. You’re doing the best you can.
This is, as usual, a deeply sensitive episode from Dr Grande. In my family and maybe many families depression is seen through the lens of morality. It is seen as a moral failing in the person - which can add to the despair and self- loathing of the sufferer. sufferer.
@@sallywillis1448 I hope it's not many families. That's harsh to be judged as somehow immoral and a failure for having depression. What is more common in families is that they just don't understand it. They think they get depressed to and just throw it off and carry on, and don't understand clinical depression is like being in a dungeon while everyone else is in the sunlight.
Being unstable or suicidal doesn’t make one less successful than a healthy full timer. Anyone can choose to leave this world. Bourdain has no downfall just because he killed himself. Bourdain was and is a massive success
Except to himself..So sad
Possibly Dr. Grande's most insightful and eloquent analysis. His concluding thoughts in particular. I learned a lot related to some of my own struggles as well.
The one on Prince Harry (Potthead) is 👍🏼 as well.
@@johnschlottman619 Thanks. I missed that one. I'll check it out.
His voice and mannerisms mad me feel comforted. I miss him a lot. He was one of my people.
That's an interesting way to put it: "one of my people."
Same. You felt a connection to him. You knew he was our people.
@@wendigo1919 it is intresting how we, normal people, connect deeply with certain celebrities as if in some
strange way we are indeed connected to them spiritually or something of that nature. I feel this type of connection with Jim Morrison, like is a family member or a close friend.
Same 💛🥹
He had a great voice.
Only celebrity I cried for. Yes, Anthony Bourdain was able to bring me a little bit of happiness. That doesn't sound like much but it meant a lot to me
Me too. It just broke my heart.
Meant a lot to him as well.
Same here, especially because his life feels like a mirror of my own.
I too was hurting for months after his death
Same. This is me 100%.
Anthony is the only guy who when he died it hurt me pretty bad, even never having met him, almost like a family member left, and you just put it out of your mind for a few years
Dr. Grande did a fine job here in my opinion. The way he described Anthony is just as I have always seen him starting with reading Kitchen Confidential. Sensitive, intelligent, honest, caring and authentic are some of his best traits. Well done.
It’s hard to admit but those distorted thoughts can be so powerful. They can get the best of me sometimes. This was a reminder that help us out there. Thank you Dr.Grande. ❤️
♡♡
True, I don’t know this to be true BUT I think the Asia Argento RAPE situation kind added to his depression cause it kind of felt weird how CORRECTLY the timeline fit on his layers of added depression…
nothing distorted, the girl was using him , then he found out the fought over IG and then killed himself.
From the outside, people see Anthony as an intelligent and successful celebrity. Most anyone would love to be like him...except for him. A person with depression can have it all and still have feelings of hopelessness. Real depression is so sad.
Such an insightful comment… damn you are so right 😢
Wow. I turn 60 tomorrow and have been in such a struggle foe months. So much of what you said about his depression and how he felt responsible for it just hit home with me. In a weird way that's comforting. I'm looking forward to my first ever counciling session on Tuesday. Hope my person will be a good one. Fingers crossed.
It’s All found in Jesus ❤️
Best of luck to you Stacy
Stacy, wishing you great, good results with your therapy. Remember, it can be difficult work, but also remember you are very wise reaching out for help, and you are also very strong and will win in the end. Admiration.
PS. If this therapist just doesn’t seem right for you after 3-4 sessions, you should look for a different one. The therapeutic relationship you have with with him/her is critical to success.
If it's not a good fit with the therapist don't give up. It's common to take a while for the right therapist.
@@ObservationStation_77 What's all found in Jesus?
Thoughtful as well as thought provoking comments. It’s been four years since Anthony’s death and we still think about him and miss him.
His family though, can you imagine what they're going through though? Damn.
What a beautiful eulogy for a beautiful man. Brought tears to my eyes thinking of his pain, and our loss. Thank you Dr. G.
Genuinely, the most interesting people, the most beautiful faces, the most well put together of us could be hiding this pain.... Never assume based on what it *looks like* to the outside world.
Anthony was not a beautiful face but he was a beautiful man
Well said
Anthony seemed to truly love people and had the best sense of humor. I miss him.
I wasn't expecting this to hit so personally. I just started meds for bipolar 2 a few months ago because the anti-depressants weren't really having an effect and a close relative has bipolar 1. It didn't fully make sense to me until you mentioned that as people get older, the depression becomes more common than hypomania. That makes so much sense for me, and gives me hope my current treatment is correct. Thank you, Dr. Grande.
There is hope. I've stayed on treatment for the last 23 years. Life does get better. ❤
Excellent profile of a very capable and engaging person who suffered from a deep inner struggle. Rest in peace, Anthony. 🙏🌹💕
RIP Anthony.❤ Gone, but never forgotten. So sad and senseless.🌻
Lovely, respectful analysis. Thought-provoking for those of us who have lost a loved one to suicide and are left grappling with questions, confusion and sorrow even years later.
I had a close friend who lost a brilliant son to suicide. Of all the kind people who tried to comfort the heart broken father one person had a message that stuck; “You don’t know how many days you got him through.”
Anthony Bourdain brought so much joy to this world that his absence is painful. He was the best part of my Sunday evening.
Beautiful words....I feel the same. Best part of my Sunday evening, too.
What courage to function through the unbearable pain of depression.
Thank you again for speaking so clearly about the very serious disease of depression. I am sick and tired of the societal mindset of toxic positivity. It does nothing to help and everything to harm those who already are hurting too much and trying so hard. As I said in my previous comment, after reading the book about him that came out last year I was surprised he managed to live as long as he did given the severity of his Illness. It is a testament to his strength. And yet I still sometimes hear people casually say things like “that man had everything but was so selfish, he had a child and didn’t love her because he killed himself”. I do feel completely hopeless about our society. Working in the trenches will do that, no matter how much clinical supervision and personal therapy I engage in. But then I come home after another grueling week of work in a psych and I not only listen to you, but I see that every single day your number of subscribers grows! Then I realize there’s still hope. Thank you Dr. G!
I loved him so much. My mom and I would watch him together for yrs. I lost my mom 6 months before he passed. Made it hit even harder for me. He was a great guy great personality and love for life. It's always the ppl who seem the happiest that can be hurting the most.
I come from the culinary world, and his literary work, and influence is unmistakable. Also, I can relate so much to his own struggles with depression as I have had my own battles with that for some 20+ years. His death hit me hard. As others have said, he seemed like such a kind soul, searching for peace, but (I guess) never finding it. His gifts and impact in the culinary world will remain forever, and his humorous, insightful & sarcastic (lol) presence will always be missed by so many of his fans. RIP Anthony 🙏
Thank you for being so kind to this talented man that brought joy to others.
When Anthony passed I felt like I lost a friend. I welcomed him into my home every single episode of “Parts Unknown” and found myself in so many qualities he shared with the world. Thank you for taking the time to analyze him in this way. It is incredibly helpful to me and my journey with depression and helps me realize that I need to continue to actively treat my depression though therapy, mindfulness and being aware of my distorted thinking. ❤️
I watched bourdain for years. I miss him like crazy and I think of his daughter often because I can’t imagine how this has effected her these past 3 years.
I miss him too
Affected
Ariane would now be 15, and I also wonder how she and her mother have been doing. It must be pure anguish to lose a parent to suicide when you're just a kid. :(
Exactly, loved the show and especially felt badly for his child and her mum.
@@Papin47 oh yeah definitely. On roadrunner, her mother talked about a point where he seemed happy and she felt she could step back a bit but she says it with so much regret. I can’t imagine what his daughter has made of all this because all she knew was a dad who cooked great food and played with her and she was just too young to lose her dad like this and know how to make any sense of it
I have been fighting bipolar disorder my entire life. I'm extremely fortunate to have been seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist for many years. I have had two manic episodes in the distant past, but now I am dealing with depression and anxiety as I enter old age in a culture that has little respect for the elderly. I think Anthony suffered from imposter syndrome, in which a person believes they don't deserve their success. Your analysis as usual is right on track. My husband (a chef/foodie who also has bipolar disorder) and I both read Anthony's books, watched his TV shows, and ate at his New York restaurant about 22 years ago. We're still deeply sad about his death. Thank you for your compassionate commentary.
Depression is an illness that needs to be addressed by the medical community much more seriously. Anthony suffered but he brought great joy and entertainment to all of us who watched his shows. Like, Robin Williams, he left us way too early. GOD BLESS ANTHONY!
Fuckers don't take it seriously. They want to get all up in my blood pressure but never know how close I am to offing myself. And _never_ ask.
I’ve got bipolar, the lows are so extremely brutal. What’s most disturbing about it is that even though I can know intellectually that it’s just my biology, just my brain, when you’re really in the thick of a long and super low phase, it feels like you’re fighting the devil. It feels spiritual, which again is probably a trick of the brain chemistry or the individuals thought processes, their view of life, etc… but it feels like a possession of your mind by something that’s not you. It’s truly frightening. Today was my most challenging day in a while, so coming across this was interesting. I don’t take medication which I realize puts me at great risk, but again with this spiritual kind of orientation towards it- I feel like it’s my mission to live through it as raw as I can, so I can pay attention to the cycles and the tricks my mind plays on me. So that if I ever get into a worse spot again (by worse I mean the desperation I was in a few years ago and the intensity of the cycles) I can at least try to manage my way back to good health, or at least manageable health. And I take my mental health very seriously now, because some years ago I was afraid of myself, and I never want to lose my grip again. Most importantly I’ve begun to find who and what I really am, what my human thread is between the episodes. Reflective, creative, strong, that’s what I am whether I’m experiencing mental chaos or a total shutdown, I just have to remember that. Hope if anyone reads this who suffers from this thing like I do, that it helps. I’m not sure why I was moved to type this. Rip Anthony ♥️
Thank you for your post!
you are so right the lows are really bad like the worst type of pain i felt in my life. it’s worse pain than getting burnt from something or breaking a bone. it’s a heavy deep emotional pain that manifests into physical pain as well. at it’s worst i felt like a layer of bricks were on top of me preventing me from leaving my bed. and i feel like no one can truly understand how bad it is unless they suffer from it themselves. none of my friends or family get it. they may think that you are exaggerating, being dramatic or that it’ll pass. but no it’s a life long illness full of ups and downs.
I am so glad you posted! Your post could help someone else feel hopeful and understood!
I was just about to post in the comments about how terrible it is as to what the brain can trick the person into thinking or doing. I had B vitamin malabsorption to the point of manias and depression. Supplementation and counseling about unrelated issues has made things far better and the strong manias never returned. The polyneuropathies that came with the same malabsorption issues have to be maintained though.
Please consider trying medication. Even a very low dose can make a difference. It’s not a cure (you know that) it just makes things more manageable. If your bipolar disorder is a 100 foot square, a little medication can make it 80 feet. Just that little bit can save you.
I was a fan of Anthony. When he died I was so sad. He seemed so complex to me. That’s part of why I liked him so much.
Every time I would watch his wonderful wanderlust program I would long to be with him. Too bad we never met. I could have been the one to lead the blind...into the light.!
I am an empath and I have the ability to show people the way
Anthony Bourdain had a big impact on both my life and my fiancés’.
My fiancé is seven years older than me and he went to culinary school after graduating high school in 2001. He loved Kitchen Confidential and how it gave such a raw, honest portrayal of culinary work. He, like Anthony, hated the phoniness of Celebrity Chefs of the Y2K era and Bourdain was a jolt of energy to people wanting to know what working in a culinary kitchen is really like. My fiancé did get to see Anthony Bourdain in person, signing copies of Kitchen Confidential in a small, local Chicago bookstore (before Anthony became really famous), but didn’t get to meet him since he couldn’t afford to buy his book (yet).
I also loved Anthony Bourdain but more so for his travel shows. I started watching them in college. I grew up in a Fundamentalist Christian environment, where my views of the world were very narrow and the only way you’d go to explore other places and meet people would be if you’re trying to convert them.
As an anthropology major, I was exploring a lot of different ways in which people around the world lived. I picked Anthropology to major in after watching other travel shows on PBS piqued my curiosity as to how the world *really* was/is. Watching Anthony sit down with people over food (the food they made themselves and eat everyday, not the Americanized versions) and have conversations with whomever exemplified the kind of human bonding I, and a lot of people, think would be ideal and wish we could have more of…
What’s more human than sharing food and conversations with others? Anthony shared a way of doing just that that’s not gimmicky and touristy and, as someone who has also struggled with depression/anxiety, I’ll always miss and thank him for his example.
I literally cried when I heard he had died. I met him once….he was a great guy. 💙
I have had chronic depression since I was a teenager ( I am now 68) good to hear about depression in general and about Mr. Bourdain, whom I liked immensely.
He was my role model when I was facing a depression as I recovered from a tbi..
I watched his show during recovery
It crushed me when he died
Felt like I lost a friend
you can blame the italian user. it was over her, left out was she posted something neg to his ig the day before he killed himself and then took it down, she is a witch'
@@tankthearc9875 Triggers are not always causes.
@@slofty No, they are not. Impulse-control. If I were to actually carry out the urge to slice and dice every eggplant MFK that offended me --------->>
Trust me . . . there'd be alot of DEAD 'egg-plants'.
Plus, I dunno about killing myself over a gossipy FLOOZY. . .
ESPECIALLY if I got a precious little one to raise. I'd LIVE for her! (Even if I felt like dying. Which is a feeling not hard to have)
If I don't understand that. . . then (I'm sorry) I havn't GROWN UP. (No matter how "high" my I.Q.)
@@tankthearc9875 Witches are nice people, she's a bitch, but that is an unfortunate insult to dogs.
I Believe if we treated mental illness like physical illness, society would become so much better. Metal illness can be stigmatizing.
Exactly! As a nurse I said that over and again to teach people better. If someone has diabetes, they don't get embarrassed, whisper about it and hide it. Things are at least more in the open today, I believe it has saved lives.
💜
It is also utterly undertreated. At least where I am. The mental health care is almost non existent. Lack of mental health workers, inadequate emergency care. My boyfriend who I have known since 1982 has had something very wrong for about 18 months now. He spent 5 days in the hospital. I asked daily for a psych eval and one was never done. We followed up with his interim MD. His regular MD had just quit private practice. Even his interim MD realized something was wrong and this was only his 2nd time meeting him. We waited the 6 long months it took to get in to see the neuro psychiatrist as hospital follow up. Well, they never followed up with him. Or if they tried they failed. He won't answer his phone. No one ever called me either and they had my number. Hippa laws make everything that much harder. So here we are almost 2 years later. He thinks he is fine and continues to go untreated. I'm going to be admitted before he ever gets help. The system here has completely failed him. His doctors office never followed up when he stopped going. I have no rights without him signing the paperwork so I can't do anything but watch him suffer. I know now why we have such a huge homeless population here. I'm not saying all homeless people are mentally ill but it seems most here have some issues. If I finally got fed up and said you have to go what would happen to him? He isn't working, caring for himself or even talking at times. He vasilates between childlike to aggressive with a few stops in between. He would end up on the streets and become another statistic. How can I get him help? Who knows. He has been to the ER 2 x since original stay and nothing is ever done. Even on a 24 hour police hold nothing was done. I'm just happy he doesn't seem to get aggressive much anymore and I try to remind myself he isn't doing anything on purpose. (He is exasperating at times) and pray. What else can you do? He won't seek help and the system here is beyond broken. Another example, it took a suicide attempt to finally get my friends 20 something y/o son the help he needed. She tried for moths to get him help to no avail prior to that. I don't understand why mental health is so undervalued. I know there is a shortage of workers. other reasons? i have no clue. I honestly think If some effort was put in to treat those in need a whole lot of society would be better off, happier and improved all around.
@@infinitejest.4994 as an advocate, do you have any insight as to why (in my opinion ) so many with mental illness are untreated? As in our case, no one seems to want to be bothered. This is the medical community I'm referring to. I could be off base but it seems like unless you are a harm to yourself or someone else then your illness just doesn't matter. Even if you are a danger to others it doesn't seem to matter. I guess if it's family or a significant other who is in danger it doesn't count. Lol I'm being sarcastic a little here but I'm telling a true story and at this point I'm just angry. The lack of care or concern for mental illness here is so egregious its staggering. I have watched some of the homeless around here who appeared to act typical when they first came to this area spiral further and further into their own reality. It breaks my heart that so many go untreated and have to live In what can be a very dark, scary place. It seems when it comes to people living with mental illness there would be a way for someone to get them help when they are aware of the need. Something other then involuntary commitment. I'm rambling, I'm sorry. I do wonder though your thoughts on this. Also anyone else's thoughts who wouldn't mind sharing
@@mousepolice55 you are a really supportive partner and don’t give up the fight. i completely relate to all your frustrations except i don’t have as much support or anyone helping me. i used to judge homeless people but now i live in fear that i’m going to end up like that. we don’t choose to be born or experience certain traumas in life. it’s unfair that obtaining help and resources is down to either pure luck, social connections, or money 💰
Thanks Dr. Grande. This was very helpful. I've had depression since childhood due to a metabolic disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was 50. Even with treatment and an amazing psychiatrist it never really goes away, and distorted thinking is a real thing. When I'm in the midst of it, I don't always know that it's the depression talking, and I go to very dark places very quickly.
I struggled with depression for half a century til I was diagnosed with a congenital disorder affecting B12 levels. Since getting on B12 injections in 2015 I haven’t had any depressive episodes despite being under extreme stress at times.
@@nhmooytis7058 We may have the same problem. I have a double mutation on the MTHFR gene. I would encourage anyone who has persistent depression with no abuse or trauma to be tested for this or other genetic abnormalities. For most of my life, not only was I depressed, but I felt guilty because there was no reason to be depressed. I encourage anyone suffering from mental health struggles to get help. Treatments and knowledge about the brain have come a long way.
@@lisaruzicka8345 yes physical causes for depression should always be ruled out first. My problem is lack of ‘intrinsic factor’ in my digestive system. No one ever tested me for any physical cause for the recurring depressions except for thyroid, I was on Synthroid for 33 years with no effect on depression. Went off it in 2018 with no effects at all so I have to wonder if I needed it all those years!
@@lisaruzicka8345 This is excellent advice.
I love Anthony and the show No Reservations. I was locked in my house for being a stupid kid on house arrest after HS graduation while everyone else was out having the time of their life. Watching No Reservations helped keep me sane while I was extremely depressed by living vicariously through Bourdain and his travels. I wish I could thank him and give the man a hug. RIP 🙏
This episode really hit home to me, losing my 36 year old daughter to suicide , she had bipolar 1 and PTSD . It’s a terrible disease 😭💔
Jesus heals the broken hearted.
It is horrible to watch our children suffer with mental illness. My love goes out to you for your loss. My guess is that she lived 36 courageous years that most people could hardly stand for a week.
@@idahospudgirlidahospudgirl4998 my sympathies. Peace & love. ❤️🇳🇿
I’m very sorry for your loss
My heart aches for you , I can’t imagine… I pray you know she’s with her Lord-at peace… what a glorious feeling that will be 😢
He was such a unique character. I loved watching his cooking adventures throughout Europe and the States. May he rest in peace.
I appreciate you covering this case, and speaking about depression alongside the pursuit of happiness.
This is the only “celebrity” death that affected me. I still find it hard to watch his shows. It makes me feel so sad.
As a woman who has a chemical imbalance and suffered depressive episodes for 40 years. I can contribute that you must love yourself first and always focus on your own well being. People just come and go you can’t take it personally. You would hope that when they go ts done with respect and closure but that’s not the way it works. Sometimes you just have enough because you become so tired of all the games.
I have major depression and persistent depression and anxiety disorder.. I am transparent with my experiences involving my mental health care. People need help with understanding the truths surrounding mental health. Many people are misinformed and operate in shame and ignorance. People are doing harmful behaviors instead of seeking appropriate medical treatment. I'm a strong advocate within my senior citizen community.
There's a great need for education and support services in my community. Many seniors self medicate and involved themselves in inappropriate behaviors instead of seeking appropriate mental health care. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us. It is greatly needed!!! Much appreciation for your service!!!❤☮️❤️☮️♥️
I was devastated when he died. I absolutely adored him. He was so talented,handsome. May he Rest In Peace. Heaven gained a beautiful angel.🌻
Thank Dr. Grande. When his death was announced, I was a mess. Whenever I think about him to this day, heck this very moment, I burst into tears. His death left me very confused and overwhelmed, I can't explain it. I wished I lived more like him, open to the world like him, find commonality with others across the globe like him, and then he just dies, by his own hands, sober no less. I was so angry! You have provided me a more solid explanation something I can hold onto to give me closure on the death of a man who I never met. Whose words I still hear in my head and heart. RIP Tony. I miss you.
Having worked in kitchens and bars since early ninties, I remember reading Kitchen confidential and pretty much followed his career ever since reading that book. I never met the man, but he seemed like a genuine good guy, it allmost felt like I knew the man. Some of the episodes we can clearly see he was a sensetive man, with a tough exterior, not uncommon in that business.
I still miss him, his travel programs was some of the best out there.
I have the book but still haven’t read it.
This is your best analysis I have watched. This is so sad, and resignates on so many levels.
Anthony Bordaine changed my life. His love of travel, culture, and food gave me a new perspective on life and get me out of a deep rut that I was in. His death was one of the only celebrity deaths that truly hurt me.
That was a very compassionate analysis. Thanks for the insight on how depression and bipolar can essentially trick someone into not even realizing what’s happening.
I still can't watch reruns of his shows. I loved him and this one still hurts. Excellent video Doc!🙂
Heavy drug abuse also often distorts thinking, feelings and perceptions.
Spot on 🏴
Alcohol is a depressant
Yes, I agree
Depression leads to self medication. I love doctors, psychologists, and psychiatrists who don’t acknowledge or understand this. Many medications can also distort one’s outlook and entire metabolism.
And causes brain damage. It sounds as if he destroyed his brain’s pleasure centers.
Early life drug addiction follows you even after you experience many years of sobriety. It alters your brain and it's absence doesn't fix underlying conditions that led to using in the first place. A lot of former hard drug users commit suicide in middle age.
Thank you Dr G.. your compassionate thoughts are very helpful in understanding the tragic end to Antony's life and in a broader sense help me understand the experience of depression..
His passing was the hardest time I have had over a celebrity that I had never met. I guess if since I read his books, cooked his recipes and watched all of shows I probably did know him a little in that way. I also understand the why and the how of his passing. Depression and anxiety can be crushing.
I guess that I am different though, because I realize that happiness isn’t a place to get to, it is all around you, but it isn’t a high it’s the cute baby giggling, it’s how the sun feels on your face. It’s not always easy to see if you live from cynicism.
I miss him.
I hear you. I remember exactly where I was and What I was doing when John Lennon was murdered, and also when Jerry Garcia's death was first reported. Bourdain hurt more, maybe because he chose it.
Thanks Dr Grande. I really found the discussion around aging and bi-polar disorder. Less hypomanic episodes and more depressive symptoms. Shows the importance of communicating with your psychiatrist and not being ashamed of symptoms when they come up. Also… having enough awareness to recognize these issues.
I'm not familiar with Anthony Bourdain, but Dr. Grande sounds exactly like he is talking about me! It's the first time I've ever really heard anyone explain exactly what I go through and what it's like.
Wonderful analysis -- full of heart and mind. His death was very sad. I remember wayyyy back in April 1970, just before I left for training with the Seabees and embarking on a year-and-a-half tour in Vietnam, seeing headlines in the L.A. Times about the death of the beautiful Inger Stevens. I was shocked that someone like her -- who seemed to have it made in Hollywood -- would die the way she did. Meanwhile, deep down, I was wondering what life had in store for me overseas. Turns out I had a very interesting, positive tour of duty in Vietnam. In later years, I came to realize that Stevens suffered from personal demons that in the end got the better of her. If there were only some way people who do so much good and appear -- on the surface only -- to be living the "good life" could be helped when they actually are in deep personal trouble. Back to Bourdain, I remember one of my favorite episodes of "No Reservations": He was visiting Beirut in hopes of sampling the delicious local cuisine and had to be evacuated onto a U.S. Navy ship. Instead of bemoaning the failure of his Levant endeavor, he turned his attention to the chow served on the ship... and did a wonderful show after all explaining how the cooks do their jobs to serve the crew simple but good food. Really impressive improvisation.
this is one of your best pieces. so humane, kind and understanding. thank you.
Bourdain's TV work was the most interesting in the Travelogue genre I have ever seen. His character and personality seemed to come through the program from start to finish. I don't think there is any other person who I have never actually met whose death had a bigger blow to me.
I'm not a celebrity-follower myself, so I usually am not affected by their comings and goings, but I really respected Anthony Bourdain and I loved his shows. He was a talented and wonderful person, and it breaks my heart to know he personally felt that he wasn't. Depression is insidious.
Same here.
You guys might think I’m dumb but try fuck that’s delicious
not even your parents, significant others, kids, families, close friends etc?
wow such a drama queen
@@nagaganas7927 He began by saying ,".....any other person who I have never actually met......" So no, the people who you listed in your comment would not fall into this category. And no, he's not a drama queen. Anthony Bourdain's death was a blow to me as well. Clearly, It was a blow to lots of people because it ran on national news for days and days and days afterwards.
Thanks for being so respectful on this one doc. I loved watching Bourdain back in the day. He just seemed like a cool guy, you could just down and have a beer with. Someone who suffers with many mental health issues…I get it. These amazing people who suffer from this soul-destroying depression…I always wish they could see themselves through others eyes…or how others see them. Just an amazing human being.
I was really distraught when he died, he was one of the realest. It really felt like you knew him a bit. I wish that he had gotten the help he needed.
He was sensitive, fragile and vulnerable, which was a great part of his appeal. I think he couldn’t deal with or comprehend dishonest and insincere people, and this compounded his depression and unhappy state.
Thank you. Anthony was a little younger than myself, but I shared his NYC roots and some perspectives. His story is so sad. I truly appreciate your thoughtful comments on Anthony Bourdain.
Any time depression takes a life that’s utterly devastating. So many people went way too soon due to this terrible illness.
Thank you for the thoughtful analysis Dr. Grande.❤️
I just don't get depression and calling it an illness. Why does it even exist. We can't just start thinking positively and fix it. Nothing fixes it. Just stuck in shit for no reason and it makes no sense
@@sirprize5191 Why does cancer even exist?
❤❤ I love Tony Bourdain and I'm sad. I relate to a lot of his issues. Substance use, serious depression, and attempted suicide years ago.
I never met Anthony, but I felt like I knew him quite well from how open and genuine he came across as you said. I love him and miss him 😔
I watched his show all the time and wasn’t surprised when I heard the news. You could just feel the depression emanating from him. Rip man.
I'm surprised you say you could feel the depression emanating from him. I only watched a few episodes, but i wouldn't have guessed. I also suffer w/ depression and somehow I didn't recognize it. He seemed high functioning, but then again, some depressives are like that.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 I have depression also. The show itself was sort of depressing so maybe it was just the way it was filmed. So you know what I mean? He had a very low monotone voice when talking about the cities and stuff. Maybe it’s just me.
@@corning1 It could be a takes one to know one kind of thing. I didn't want to ask if you had it too, but you were obviously intuitive. He wasn't on my radar. I sort of heard about his self deleting and then sort of checked him out. Just watched an episode on his visit to Montreal and he just seemed like someone loving food and loving life. All I could tell was that he was rough around the edges and you can definitely tell there's something w/ drugs and alchohol either in the past or the present w/ him.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 I could tell with robin williams too that wasn’t a surprise. I don’t really follow actors and musicians and stuff
I agree. There was definitely an aura of darkness around him.
His death was very sad. I liked his show, and felt he was a truly thoughtful, smart, and caring guy.
Thank you Dr. Grande, for helping us to understand his complicated issues.
Depression has been a monkey on my back for my entire life. This episode was good for me.
Thank you Dr. Grande for opening up a thoughtful and timely discussion about depression and how it can affect even someone who seemingly had everything and on the surface seemed happy and content. I too suffer from depression and after reading the many thoughtful and supportive comments below I don't feel like I'm the only one struggling right now! Thanks again and have a great week! 💜
Theres absolutely no definitive way to ascertain why he killed himself other than asking him .
Man, I’ve been on Suboxone for years with therapy every week.. wish my counselors would speak like you. Great stuff bud. Biloxi
Thank you for your kind, compassionate take on Anthony Bourdain. I don't have depression, and don't fully understand it, but I respect the struggle that people suffering with it have to endure.
I loved what you said about him. Excellent video.
I saw this before and commented. So 😔 sad and tragic. I do have depression and on medication. Have had losses. Born the same year as Anthony b. I have never used drugs or alcohol. Wonder if all these drugs messed up his brain 🧠. We will never know. Such a sad 😔 story. Rest in peace Anthony. ❤❤
I remember being so incredibly sad when I heard that he ended his own life in such a brutal way- and after listening to your video, I feel his life was also a tragedy!
Your analysis and final thoughts were unbelievably moving, Dr. Grande! ♡♡
The way you articulate your thoughts is just brilliant, and something I both greatly admire and envy! ♡
I always admired how street smart Anthony was and how he got so well along with humble people...it brought out the best of him...and was both entertaining and informative...seeing food for its comfort and contribution to great health...
Funny line about fast food...yet Anthony had great respect, and binged on them every once in a while, for Popeye chicken nuggets...
He visited Brazil many times, he was humble and very down to earth, pleasant person.
Hard not to love Anthony but he seemed to always be challenging and pushing himself too far. Just finished watching Roadrunner last night and I appreciate your timely analysis Dr. Grande. In the movie I could see that as he aged he felt less and less happy. Dr. Grande’s observation was that depression doesn’t age well. His suicide shocked me. Very sad ending to such a unique and amazing person.
As a person with almost 60 yrs of struggling with depression this is a very valuable perspective.
It puts into words many things I've learned over this time, and provides a couple of helpful insights I hope to refer to in the future.
I suppose most of us were thinking, IF ONLY we'd had a chance to talk it out with him ...
Apply what we have learned here.
👵👍❤️🕯️🍷🥐
Dr. Grande - This is the best video I have ever seen on depression. Please do more of these videos. I am a 70 year old, retired Air Force colonel who has suffered with depression all my life. Now that I enter my 70s life presents a whole new set of psychological challenges. You are a wonderful aid in navigating the challenges of chronic depression - All the best, John