Dr. Gabor Maté On Why So Many People Are Feeling Lost Right Now & What We Can Do About It

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2024

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  • @sewingseeds
    @sewingseeds 7 месяцев назад +12

    My dad was never ever embraced by either his mother or father. His large family (he was one of eleven)was headed by an Irish grandma and his sisters delivered the comfort and affection.
    When I was little if I was upset I could sit on dad's knee and sob it out. He always kissed us goodnight, tucked us in ....
    He tried hard to break the chain

    • @EdithCasines
      @EdithCasines Месяц назад +1

      @@sewingseeds I did the same with my kids very hard! Sometimes they made me angry. They did not listen.! and I would smack them in the arm! they were very fresh cursing at me and that hurt me so much because I try so much to be a good mom!

  • @angelacadieux1972
    @angelacadieux1972 Год назад +32

    I gave up alcohol 19 years ago. The healing journey can take awhile and it's not all roses. Life will always have shitty cards for us. We just need to learn how to find peace with the past, find our purpose and fall in love with yourself. Mentors are essential. Sending much love folks 🤍💛❤️🖤

    • @deedee9312
      @deedee9312 Год назад +4

      Well said ! Giving up substances that are toxic is so crucial ! We get our joyful life back ❤ peace ☮️ 😂

    • @arturasstatkus8613
      @arturasstatkus8613 Год назад +2

      Thank You.🤝

    • @sheiladuke3289
      @sheiladuke3289 8 месяцев назад +2

      ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @sandracaezza7234
    @sandracaezza7234 Год назад +26

    Speaking about addiction & never facing the trauma.
    In my ex I saw this many times. Recovery/relapse, rinse repeat.
    I believe Dr M is do powerfully right
    I sat in many therapy sessions & now hearing this outlook gives me so much clarity.
    I had to surrender to our life that did not improve. I’m grateful everyday for finding these insightful videos.
    My surrender has allowed me to heal
    & move in a healthy direction.🙏🏻👍🏻

    • @DerpStick-gv1fp
      @DerpStick-gv1fp Год назад +2

      Absolutely. That's a very difficult realization for most of us. Happiness comes not from hounding our desires, but in accepting and in valuing what we have.

    • @suesjoy
      @suesjoy Год назад +1

      Good for you. I’m a recovering alcoholic. My husband still drinks. We are much happier when we are in different countries…hmmm.

  • @christineplaton3048
    @christineplaton3048 Год назад +20

    I have healthy anger. I have the right to express what was not good. I need to consider my options. It's a chance to make necessary changes. Never be taken for granted. We each have rights of personal needs. They cannot be met by others deciding how to live. The addict is weak but when they take back their power the person becomes strong. Self protection is a power. Within the range of normalcy the ego lesrns to self protect. Life goes on instead of stagnating.

  • @suesjoy
    @suesjoy Год назад +13

    I wish Gabor could revise AA/12 Step programs. I am sober thanks to AA and MA, but I always struggle when I get to step 4. I’ve realized why- thanks to Gabor. I am perfect, and God has already forgiven me. I used alcohol and pot to self soothe. I harmed myself and hurt my loved ones. I know this. There is no NEED for me to go back to my earliest memories and talk about all the awful things I’ve done, enumerating them to heal. It makes NO sense to me.
    I am at peace now, and I KNOW God has forgiven me. I don’t need to revisit the past and re-traumatize myself!

    • @suemiller8426
      @suemiller8426 4 месяца назад +1

      I read your statement, I said you do whatever works for you. I can only say that the Doctor is saying helped me to see that what happened in the past is done, there's nothing anyone can do to change it. What I learned for myself is that I didn't deserve to be treated the way I was, when I looked at the trauma that they had suffered I knew I had always been right. They had done to me what had been done to them, just the knowing that it had nothing to do with anything I had done. What happened is all on themselves.

    • @DonBraidwood
      @DonBraidwood 2 месяца назад

      I think the only time we need to go back to the past is if we get triggered to behave or think in a certain negative way & then we may need more inner child healing. Apart from that I agree with you 🙏

  • @junerose-sommer5494
    @junerose-sommer5494 11 месяцев назад +7

    He is a truly remarkable man!!! I'm totally addicted!!!! He's always spot on. Truly so insightful!!!

  • @AnnOdeon
    @AnnOdeon Год назад +29

    I'm addicted to this guy, he makes so much sense!!!❤

    • @sandrameza1644
      @sandrameza1644 7 месяцев назад +1

      Mind our language, be interested and enjoy but not addicted.

    • @ConsciousConversations
      @ConsciousConversations 5 месяцев назад

      🥰🥰

    • @ConsciousConversations
      @ConsciousConversations 5 месяцев назад

      @@sandrameza1644I think it was in fun.. I’m sure Dr Mate has said it is important to have fun and be playful:):)

    • @helenelevesque2974
      @helenelevesque2974 4 месяца назад

      @@sandrameza1644Mind your own business. If he enjoys being "addicted", that's HIS CHOICE.

    • @sandrameza1644
      @sandrameza1644 4 месяца назад

      @@helenelevesque2974 Addiction IS my business.

  • @drbev
    @drbev Год назад +16

    I’ve listened to dozens of Gabor Maté podcast interviews and this interview was one of the best I’ve heard. Well done!

  • @peijuechen
    @peijuechen Год назад +5

    I follow Dr. Mate ‘s talks a lot, but it’s First time listening to Doug’s interviewing him, , Doug , you are asking very good questions.

  • @carinapalmer21
    @carinapalmer21 3 месяца назад

    ¨The Possibility of healing is present all the time.¨ such a good quote!

  • @donnaleecriss8692
    @donnaleecriss8692 Год назад +3

    I have 3 adult children all actively engaged in addictions from my family trauma. I'm 73 yr old & have glimpses of awareness now after tears of healing. I'm tired of my journey & have belief my children can heal. Tough tough life path

    • @liz-iy6zm
      @liz-iy6zm Год назад +2

      I feel for you. its painful to watch this epigenetic trauma ongoing.

    • @soledadmcnally
      @soledadmcnally Год назад +1

      You have been chosen my your family tree to heal - you have the strength- best of
      Luck

    • @sheiladuke3289
      @sheiladuke3289 8 месяцев назад +1

      ❤❤😇 😇 😇 😇 ❤

  • @Patricia-ok1cd
    @Patricia-ok1cd Месяц назад

    Dr Gabor is so knowledgeable and they manner in which he explains everything so we understand ourselves. Society needs to change the format of how we parent , love, behave, .people need each other to survive this world. I'm in depression with anxiety and it's very challenging and the loneliness hurts so much. Keep up your great work Dr Gabor You too Doug. PEACE AND LOVE TO THE WORLD.

  • @vivianmoore3205
    @vivianmoore3205 Год назад +30

    I have learned so much about myself by listening to this message thank you.

    • @dougbopst1
      @dougbopst1  Год назад +1

      Glad you liked it!

    • @nickj.7876
      @nickj.7876 Год назад

      Same here my friend

    • @userx578
      @userx578 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@dougbopst1I got my first smartphone in 2015. About two years later I started to feel unwell, psychologically. People who owned a smartphone earlier than me, started to feel unwell earlier than me. Almost all the people I know, have a kind of problem that appeared in the past decade. When I don't use my smartphone for a day, the next day I find myself feeling better. That's my theory, but of course not exclusive.

  • @davidsharman5151
    @davidsharman5151 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks Dr Gabor for sharing your knowledge. you're way of explaining why we feel the way we do makes so much sense to me and has made me understand more about myself and my relationships with others. Thank you. I will ring my local bookshop tomorrow and try to order your book.

  • @user-turbomamba24
    @user-turbomamba24 Год назад +2

    Dr. Gabor Mate, thank you. Yiou helped me realize I was abused emotionally as a child by my mother.

  • @sandracaezza7234
    @sandracaezza7234 Год назад +2

    TY Dr M for talking about being present. It is so hard for some to go deep into the pain. This was the best I’ve heard on how to regain our true selves.
    I am 10 mo out of a 24 yr marriage to someone with a reoccurring relapse situation. Being away from his life has made me so aware of what was missing in his recovery. I truly hope he finds & wants to learn the deeper problem. I have also taken this time to heal my inner child. I feel better than I have in years
    & really appreciate The Myth of Normal. Surrender for me was the only way to prey that he finds comfort, in self.

  • @cjn2714
    @cjn2714 9 месяцев назад +1

    Towards the end at 1:30:40 Gabor is talking about if children get angry, the parents may withhold their child’s only source of healthy attachment by sending them to their room or somehow create distance.
    I could see that it would be very confusing for a child when they see their parents arguing and getting angry with one another and don’t get sent to their room, that would be very confusing for the child on top of everything else.

  • @k8sl
    @k8sl Год назад +6

    While listening to this, after I stopped weeping, I bought your book. ❤

  • @MsHumble4
    @MsHumble4 Год назад +3

    That day I heard my Parents crying for they missed their family, friends, the food, that beautiful land, everything, they were speaking in a different language. My Father somehow must have noticed my pain even though I was not looking at them m, I was pretending to play with something else…Then, still in that different language, he spoke that I could understand them. And then, I straight away looked at my Father ! That meant he was right, and they never again said a word of their suffering in front of me. But it was much too late.
    There indeed is a God ! God helped me, and the funny thing is: in my prayer to God, I wasn’t asking anything for myself… Suddenly, everything began to happen! That same early hours of the morning! Since then, I am still living in awe. If not God, who is it then ! I believe the help came from God!
    I am happy with my own company and my budgie , the plants, reading too! And of course, God is a constant in my mind!

  • @soledadmcnally
    @soledadmcnally Год назад +2

    What a fantastic man, Dr Gabor

    • @janetklumper6048
      @janetklumper6048 Месяц назад

      With a wonderful woman at his side, thank you Mrs. Mattee❤❤

  • @deedee9312
    @deedee9312 Год назад +7

    It seems that the entire world has addiction ..good bad or indifferent.. the world is out of control! ❤god bless us all !

  • @yvettehammer3129
    @yvettehammer3129 Год назад +3

    This was very good to hear and makes me feel hope to keep learning about myself and others.

  • @lynnnestor7985
    @lynnnestor7985 Год назад +4

    Absolutely loved every piece of content. Although not unfamiliar we do need to hear many many many times to deeply FEEL how to access our power to return to our wholeness - which is always just waiting🙏🌈 thank you for a wonderful interview.

  • @ayushimathur27
    @ayushimathur27 Год назад +6

    Thank you. This is the best interview of dr. Gabor mate. Great questions really helpful

    • @dougbopst1
      @dougbopst1  Год назад +1

      Really glad that you enjoyed this! What was your biggest takeaway?

    • @ayushimathur27
      @ayushimathur27 Год назад +1

      My biggest take away is that
      1.we get triggered not by the person, trigger is small part in a pistol, the fire is inside the pistol. We can ask ourselves wonder why am I reacting that way, compassionately.
      2.compassionate inquiry - where is a 'NO' getting stuck inside us. And we can be curious about it wonder why this fear of saying no coming from, what is the story behind.
      3. We need to be authentic, we may loose some connections but we will have better relationships in long run.
      Overall I like the podcast because you reacted to his answers just like me. So it was relatable :)

  • @mariabuckley1749
    @mariabuckley1749 9 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you both for this wonderful conversation. ❤

  • @evdokia44
    @evdokia44 Год назад +7

    Thank you. Most helpful video fron this Healer.

    • @dougbopst1
      @dougbopst1  Год назад +1

      Glad you enjoyed my convo with Gabor! What was your biggest takeaway?

  • @Bosslogq
    @Bosslogq Год назад +3

    One of the best interview I ever saw! Thank you so much ❤️

  • @missbeaude
    @missbeaude 8 месяцев назад +1

    Great analogy on triggers. It’s a Boom moment for me.

  • @3meandyou
    @3meandyou Год назад +1

    So I see here people relapse? Don’t forget the body want to refer back to what it’s use to those compensatory habits that are unconscious. Through understanding one’s journey Exercise and practice how far you e come and don’t forget the journey. Thank you Dr. Gabor 🙏🏽

  • @Patricia-ok1cd
    @Patricia-ok1cd Месяц назад

    Im learning and love Dr Gabor

  • @bellelacroix5938
    @bellelacroix5938 Год назад

    Parenting practices that we talked about did I miss that this to me is the best of what Gabor has to offer. Thanks for setting up this scenario and write this dialogue. (ttrigger warning: unbearable jarring ads!)

  • @deborazandbergen6358
    @deborazandbergen6358 8 месяцев назад +3

    Sholom means wholeness

  • @misovuletic
    @misovuletic Год назад +2

    Gabor is top....I am aware of everything that got bad in my life....And I don't know how to manage it

    • @janetklumper6048
      @janetklumper6048 Месяц назад

      I could never talk about it with my parents or my brother, so sad😢

  • @Ollie-s7x
    @Ollie-s7x 7 месяцев назад

    I think I find aspects of sobriety harder. No numbing, just constant pain

  • @nelp8236
    @nelp8236 Год назад +1

    Thanks for this insight on triggers and protective belief🙏

  • @hexboxx735
    @hexboxx735 9 дней назад

    What a legend

  • @DerpStick-gv1fp
    @DerpStick-gv1fp Год назад +3

    Gabor is a treasure. I see him almost on par with Jung.

  • @Soulfulsistaspace
    @Soulfulsistaspace 9 месяцев назад +1

    Powerful!

  • @top.350
    @top.350 Месяц назад

    Social media is killing us😢

  • @annbrozovic3495
    @annbrozovic3495 Год назад

    "Time-In"! YES, TY!!!

  • @johnmuench6459
    @johnmuench6459 Год назад +1

    Great Information & Insight’s!!!
    👍👍😁🙏✨✨✨🙌

  • @boocs20143
    @boocs20143 Год назад +2

    Amazing interview!

  • @robynhope219
    @robynhope219 Год назад +9

    One thing I never felt is lost...everything else, but not lost. The poor man is showing his age twice over. I re member Gabor from 25/30 yrs ago when he gave free talks in Vancouver. I bought his latest book...and while I don’t agree with everything in it, it is nonetheless an interesting and thought provoking book which everyone should read.

    • @bazil800
      @bazil800 Год назад

      what are the things you dont agree with?

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 Год назад +4

      @@bazil800 I am very opposed to psychedelics, especially for mental health. People w sensitive nervous systems should never use them.

    • @jenniferfulljames1685
      @jenniferfulljames1685 Год назад +5

      I heard him say that he does not agree that psychedelics are the end all be all. I know he would suggest the person be counseled accurately to see if they are a candidate. There are other ways to get the results as he often states.

    • @robynhope219
      @robynhope219 Год назад +1

      @@jenniferfulljames1685 idc what he says about it. I consider it contraindicated.

  • @jean6460
    @jean6460 Год назад +1

    Great job Doug! 🙏🏼😍❤️

  • @percubit10
    @percubit10 Год назад

    I need ti be doing something to keep myself busy

  • @zovalentine7305
    @zovalentine7305 Год назад +4

    Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤

  • @Angela-ju2mk
    @Angela-ju2mk Год назад

    O my goodness. This is so true.

  • @thejoshelator
    @thejoshelator Год назад +6

    I love this video but there are an unreal amount of INTRUSIVE ads that distract from the message! OMG!

  • @joycestern8557
    @joycestern8557 Год назад +1

    I enjoy most of all you say unfortunately I find it difficult to hear you, your voice is soothing but I miss some of your words.. I hear all your guests well.

  • @EdithCasines
    @EdithCasines 6 месяцев назад

    Hello Dr. Gabor! I wrote to you a few times! Because I'm having so much anxiety! That I'm losing my mind! I told you my parents left my country! And they went to Venezuela! We are very poor! Because they did not speak the language! And because of that! Not knowing a language, it took a long time to learn! I never felt loved! I was always bullied! Even my brother and sister! In the school, they call me retarded and idiot! I know I have ADHD! Because I feel my heart! So the abuse made it even worse! I was very sensitive to noise! Even as a child, I could never sleep with Noise! I think you insane! When you cannot sleep! You can lose your mind! I know I made poor choices in my life! But I was never a bad person! I was always generous with people specially my kids! My mother told me that when she left my country, 🇭🇺 when they were on the boat to go to Venezuela! She said there was a horrible storm! And I was in a crib , she said that was about 10 months old or a year old! And she said that I was crying and screaming because the waves were banging the crib against the wall with very big force! , And see photos of me as a baby! I'm always frowning smiling! All I do is cry😢 I can't even cry anymore. I think my tears are dried out.! please tell me if this is something to my brain, the shaking in the boat! Tell me this! I am desperate!❤❤ szeretlek sokat❤️❤️❤️🙏

  • @Patricia-ok1cd
    @Patricia-ok1cd Месяц назад

    I'm in so much pain. Do you think antidepressants work?

  • @sarahmurphy-nf4yl
    @sarahmurphy-nf4yl Год назад +1

    What is the name of the man on death Row that 🤔 Gabor speakes about? Anyone know?

  • @leadarren8145
    @leadarren8145 Год назад +1

    If we read Bhagavad Gita As It Is we see and understand that Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. There we understand karma, reincarnation and how to go back to the spiritual world where we originally came from.

  • @lightchloe
    @lightchloe 2 месяца назад

    Does anyone knows the name of that preasoner the one who meditates

  • @Aliya-gh2ec
    @Aliya-gh2ec Год назад

    He should be a born-again religious preacher.

  • @proudchristian77
    @proudchristian77 Год назад +1

    They don't get done, they see your weakness & beat on it til you move. Y i did. ! my late Hubby smoked stuff , we had 38 yrs of marriage He died 8 yrs ago , alone time will beat you too ! Y i think we have to get beat to die , death is rest ! 💝

  • @Patricia-ok1cd
    @Patricia-ok1cd Месяц назад

    How does talking supposed to heal people?. Im hurting mentally. Why do people disrespect me

  • @christineplaton3048
    @christineplaton3048 Год назад

    Spiritual limbo. Numbing and was spiritually abused. Exactly my question. I lost my sense of God. Prior to that I had a healthier , but perhaps connectedness. It's gone. I sang liturgical music but was abused by spouse and church. Why believe. It was a worthless action. Nothing helps. Im marginalized and alone.

    • @annrenee3265
      @annrenee3265 Год назад +3

      Do something you love, swim, sing, shout. Focus your attention walk barefoot on the grass, take up yoga, qi gong or tai chi. Keep doing it every day - don't give up. Everything you need is all around you.

    • @k8sl
      @k8sl Год назад +4

      When this cloud comes down on me, as it has lately, I remind myself of what is working, so I can recognize it’s not 100% pain, also I read posts like yours and know I am not alone, therefore, neither are you. Third, I make myself get curious about what it is that is coming up, and remind myself that life always has another idea in store.

    • @bridgethunt7836
      @bridgethunt7836 Год назад +1

      Believe in yourself, the outer things change, people can often disappoint. It’s totally learning to be your own bud! Help yourself, it’s a smorgasbord! Life is God! Look for God in everything 🤗🙏

  • @christineplaton3048
    @christineplaton3048 Год назад +4

    I never understood it thats true. Remember the weakness, the addiction, but you must have a healthy self respect. In addition to a healthy desire to avoid the occasions that could weaken again. So behavioral modification practices. Not embracing weakness, knowing self and remaining strong apart from weakness. Not the alcoholic mindset. AA is wrong to do this. Its the vestiges of Christianity. You know the bad point you spin the compass into a new direction. You dont go down that path again. You avoid the people places and events that took you down. If your friends are weak cut them off. If your town is corrupt change towns or combat the corruption. How can you renew restore repurpose revitalize without making necessary change. As Dr Mate says , there will be growing pains. By facing the truth you see feel touch reality. People who dont live realistically are not helpful wholesome people.

    • @k8sl
      @k8sl Год назад

      I believe there is a grey area in this perspective where on a good day, I see what is going on around me as I perceive it to be much more my reflection than their reality.

  • @deanobucket123
    @deanobucket123 18 дней назад

    I wish he didnt mumble so much, always difficult to listen to, but a knowledgeable guy.

  • @A_n_y_t_i_m_e
    @A_n_y_t_i_m_e 9 месяцев назад

    37:04
    Introjects

  • @bratSebastian
    @bratSebastian Год назад

    Natural selection allows only healthy specimen to procreate. Because we're in the hook-up (anti-)culture, you can hide your issues, disorders and traumas before eventual sexual partner, and use a help of chemical substances like alcohol to get to the act of procreation, although it wouldn't probably happen if this person got to know that dark side of you first. Being honest and letting the other side be conscious of what is participating in is the least you can do to lower the risk of making other innocent people involved and forced to deal with your problems.
    As a low status middle age male with low income that I am staying away from places of higher risk of getting drunk with other people, is more than eough in my case. I do remember when I was younger of men in my current age, humiliating themselves by coming to tables with strange young females and talk a bs to them so maybe they can get laid just to satisfy some animal instinct like they were unreasonable creatures unable to communicate with others on a level people of higher culture should be able to. And all in a very unnatural way of intentional stopping eventual conception of happening which makes sexual acts like they were just using drugs to feel better for a while. And this is actually the case of making those 'good news' hormones against specification. How they cannot see how embarassing it should be for a human being.
    Anyway, soon we shall all be doomed and humankind stopped from taking this any longer. 1 or 2 generations of chinese people living finally in socialism not forcing them to work for what they consume (which the western world does now on credit of people of Asia).

  • @Veronicawardwell
    @Veronicawardwell 10 месяцев назад +1

    What happened to your face? I hope you are ok.

  • @DJSTOEK
    @DJSTOEK Год назад

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @christineplaton3048
    @christineplaton3048 Год назад +2

    The whiny early stages are the beginning. When you dont need a group anymore you can live on your own. Are you a child forever? It was like early efucation. Adapt a new lifestyle move on get your grip on reality and live.

  • @ElviraTay
    @ElviraTay 3 месяца назад

    👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

  • @trudythiele3663
    @trudythiele3663 Год назад

    Sooo many adds!
    Ruins the continuity of the message

  • @intheworldbutnotofit8002
    @intheworldbutnotofit8002 Год назад

    I left because too many too many “god” references 😒

  • @letsseewhathappens814
    @letsseewhathappens814 4 месяца назад

    this guy looks depressed AF

  • @SuzieQGirl
    @SuzieQGirl Год назад

    ❤❤❤