Why we want the wrong things | Luke Burgis

Your desires are central to your self-identity - but do you really have any control over what you want?
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One of the most fundamental human beliefs is the idea that we are autonomous - that our unique desires come from deep within. But what if the truth is more complicated?
According to Luke Burgis, veteran entrepreneur and author of Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life, which draws from the work of French polymath René Girard, our desires are memetic: that is to say, strongly shaped by models around us, whether that be celebrities, influencers, or our own peers. We are, in fact, a product of other people’s desires.
Burgis distinguishes between two types of desire: thin and thick. Thin desires are ephemeral and easily influenced by external factors, while thick desires are rooted in our core beliefs and values. In order to take control of our desires and avoid being pushed and pulled in directions that aren’t true to ourselves, we must identify the difference between the two.
Read the full video transcript: bigthink.com/the-well/mimetic...
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[@elenasomething5452]

This was an excellent video essay! I think so many people look at the external world for validation--I cetainly was before I realized how unhappy I was in life. It is impossible not to when we are inundated with the media/TV/internet selling us an idealized version of a product or a villified version of the world. At a certain point, we all need the power to look inside ourselves and find truth and meaning.
It is not someone a person finds in a job, spouse, child, paycheck, drug, drink etc
Seeing the truth is the only way to see what we desire in the long run. It's all about balance.

[@prapanthebachelorette6803]

I agree with you on the balance concept

[@rugino3614]

Memes, the desires of the soul

[@treznopresto4878]

The wise man, The Cambodian Memer himself

[@pranjalsagar9849]

We love the wrong things to make them right. It's the inner hero among us all.

[@Callummullans]

Desire seems to be a cathartic dream in spite of what is all too often, that frown a kid gives when they’re saying what they’ll do as an adult sticks it’s just the rhetoric now holds more credit and so it’s attacked in more creative and personal ways.

[@Troy-ol5fk]

Really made me think

[@The-Well]

That's our goal! Thanks for spending your time with us!

[@heristyono4755]

We desire things that can help us fit in.

[@hieu5558]

trully inspired video🥰

[@manamohana999]

Nice

[@pif5023]

I did that. I had a period where I was “off the rail” society puts you in. Unfortunately I am having a lot of troubles reconciling what I have found “I am” with how we live today simply because we have no real control over our lives.

[@ultraextraorca7644]

You actually have complete control over your life because you have Free Will. Every single action you take is in your perceived pursuit of happiness. Just because you believe something will make you happier doesn't mean it will, but your belief is the reason why you do it.
There are intrinsic and extrinsic motivations for our actions. Oftentimes others believe they have no choice in an action that we are only extrinsically motivated to do, but that's not the truth.
You don't have to go to work. You'll have no money though and you want money for food. There's full choice in the action, even if you hate your job. Working the job is better than being hungry.

[@busioluwatoye4977]

Deep

[@melih9can]

I didn't understand anything from the video, can you explain?

[@liam8370]

unlike animals we don't just have instinctual desires but abstract ones as well and there are two according to him thin and thick desires thin desires are those which we copy from other people like if they have something we'd want that as well? while thick desires are those which are deeply rooted the things that were taught to us in childhood or what we actually want? people usually follow their thin desires which doesn't mean anything in the long run and we should identify the thick desires that give us real happiness.
hmm I see I don't understand a few things as well

[@har5814]

Masarap ang bawal.

[@philopolymath]

We?

[@maha-madpedo-gayphukumber1533]

Acting on desires in not the real nature of human it is nature of animal human nature is for self realisation of the consiousness and merge in it. But since we are evolved from animals and and are human animals. We act on our basic instinct and drive.
Science and spirituality (not religion and god fairy tale) are interwoven you can't seprate them. Whether you belive or not whether there is empirical evidence or not.
The things we seek are just outside of our reach.
We are just limited and finite beings trying to understand the unlimited and infinite which is outside of our reach. How can limited and infinite beings like humans can understand,fathom and comprehend something that is unlimited and infinite. It's impossible. There is only one way to comprehend it and it is to believe in infinite.