I think this is what I was taught in college, but the terms were more like "paragraph is a complete idea" and "sentence is a thought". That framework has kept me pretty grounded, even though it often feels like I'll make a chain of 2-sentence paragraphs and get sidetracked from the material. That's also my best understanding of how to convey pacing. Short, brief paragraphs convey ideas at a rapid pace while long convoluted ones dwell too long.
Flow. It's all about flow. Do your words flow? This is what dedicates my writing style. Plus, if you don't want to have a ton of single sentences in a row, then you might want to consider putting them all into one paragraph. As Jack veered round the curve, he started to lose control. "Everyone hold on!" Said Jack as he struggled to control the Mustang. "Watch out for that truck!" Cried out Amy. "Were all going to die!" Susan exclaimed while ducking down into the seat below. Now imagine each one of those in their own paragraph. As Jack veered round the curve, he started to lose control. "Everyone hold on!" Said Jack as he struggled to control the Mustang. "Watch out for that truck!" Cried out Amy. Were all going to die!" Susan exclaimed while ducking down into the seat below. Is that really better? Acceptable, maybe. Better, I don't think so. "And yea, I used exclaimed" Reggie exclaimed as he taunted the readers below.
@@Reggie2000 I prefer any type of dialogue to be it's own paragraph based on who's speaking bc it just makes things much easier to read and immediately know who is speaking and when that changes, imo of course
"next is shift in pov" Me : but my book is told from multiple perspectives. Jenna : BuT mY bOoK iS tOLd fROm mulTiPle peRsPecTiveS! Then this doesn't apply to you, ya sack of beans. Me:...
There was book series called the Illuminatus Trilogy where there are sections that the perspective shifts mid paragraph. There is a reason for it, but even the author had to go meta at one point to say how absurd it was.
@@thanesgames9685 in my book at one point the main trio splits up when the MC betrays his 2 friends. That's when I kinda have no choice but to add another perspective otherwise part of the story would be lost
@@monikakavaliunaite8017 I think it is normal to have multiple POV's, and authors need to decided how they do that. I like having a chapter division between POV shifts, but sometimes it still makes sense to have it within a chapter. And then sometimes it is from a narrators POV and they are revealing what multiple characters are thinking/seeing/feeling about the scene. I think all of it is fine, so long as you are consistent so it isn't confusing or immersion breaking.
My crutch word was "smirked" for a while. My beta reader told me from then on I was only allowed one smirk per 100 pages Edit: I now realize I have many, many crutch words and phrases. Save me.
Sometimes when writing dialogue, you can avoid writing any indicator that they're speaking. For instance; "Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" she scribbled something onto her clipboard, "I need them put into storage." The reader knows they're speaking, so you sometimes don't have to write 'they said' and whatnot.
Great point, but your grammar is a little off. "She scribbled something onto her clipboard" is it's own sentence. "Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" She scribbled something onto her clipboard. "I need them put into storage."
@@samhayes-astrion You use commas when using dialogue tags. You use two commas when splitting up a single sentence with a dialogue tag. ie. "Hey," she said, "can you help me move some of these boxes? I need them put into storage." ie."Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" she said. "I need them put into storage." When you break up two sentences of dialogue with action instead of a dialogue tag, you use punctuation. ie. "Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" She scribbled something onto her clipboard. "I need them put into storage."
@@melissawalsh8760 Really? Hmm... Is there a reason it's like this? I suppose being told the reasons behind it might help me commit it to memory better (because now I have a metric ton of edits to do.)
@@samhayes-astrion I don't know the official reasoning, but I'm guessing it's because the action beats are standalone sentences that don't have a direct link to the dialogue. This website does cover the rule in Rule #4. blog.reedsy.com/punctuating-dialogue/ Also, I did check to see if ProWritingAid caught this problem, and it does not, but the "dialogue" report might help you review your dialogue issues.
sigh is a big one for me. also phrases like 'tears filled her eyes' or 'small smiles'. that last one i'm starting to catch more often but how many ways can tears fill, flow, drip, etc??
As someone who knows English as their second language, i can't comprehend how natives can confuse "there, their and they're" and "to, two and too".Their meaning is so different, like, how do you even communicate.
I think it might be because a native speaker hears the words before seeing them written but when you learn a foreign language at school like I did you likely see it written before you hear it.
I couldn't get either why people would confuse homophones in my language, until I wrote over 200 pages, and proof read them. Sometimes, your mind simply bugs. You think a word, you type another, because you "hear" what you want to write ( I do at least) and your brain just links the word you "hear" to the wrong spelling, because you are obviously focused on thinking about the story and not on what you are actually writting. And if you read again your sentence, you could swear you had written the right word. But the proof is there, you didnt. Haha. (I'm French, and I did find myself misspelling a/à, près/prêt, voie/voix/vois/voit more times than I would have ever thought I might ever mispell them before. Was used to A grades- 20/20 on spelling tests soooo)
"Like OMG, I'm not like other girls, I am really an ancient dragon that uses train cars as roller skates." *Brain flash* wait a minute, I gotta write this down.
I don't have much experience, so take this with a grain of salt, but I feel like in this case, practice is the only thing that can really help. I think you should allow yourself to make these mistakes if you genuinely don't know what else to do. Preferably, you can get beta readers to help. There's also Thesaurus.com. It is a boon for writers of all kinds!
I remember in 1st grade my class was given the whole, "Said is dead" lesson. Then we all wrote stories that were our own versions of "The runaway rabbit". One of my classmates took this to heart and made sure that NONE of the dialog tags in her story had said. The teacher told the entire class this and gave another lesson on why "said" isn't so bad and how to appropriately should use, "yell", "scream", "whisper", "told", "sang", etc.
I was just thinking as I watched this, that the word 'said' is a lot like those other repeat words every author will naturally use, like 'the', 'it', 'and' etc. They are all just functional, largely invisible words. Imagine how annoying it would be if someone tried to replace 'and' with different words all the time. "Brian came, also Dave, in addition to Maddy." Almost as annoying as all those 'said' replacements. ^_^
Although most people will act like this is a No-No, sometimes if a character says something while laughing about it, I will say something like... "yeah, I know," he chuckled. I don't really understand how that is a No-No or how it would annoy people.
@@zanleuxs well yeah, repeatedly doing it would be annoying, just like having everything anybody says followed by he said or she said would get annoying. I'm not talking about strictly doing one or the other but mixing them up.
Video starts at 2:45 2:45 Filter Words 3:42 Crutch Words 4:22 Adverbs 5:32 Shifts in Tense 6:53 Shifts in POV 8:04 Dialogue Tags 9:11 Paragraphs 9:52 Repetition 10:42 Internet Jargon 11:25 Homophones
I am the sentence frag queen. I can seldom catch it in self-editing because it’s so indoctrinated. If I do find and edit one it jabs me in the brain every time I read it after that because it doesn’t flow the same 🙃
@@LovelyKelly645 I was taught not to start with these words when writing an essay or some sort of a research paper. However, we were encouraged to use them (but not overuse them) when writing fiction. Starting with And, because or But gives a story a beautiful flare if done correctly. It is very surprising if kids were discouraged from using these words in all types of fiction but I agree that starting non fiction essay with, say, "because" feels very childish.
The “she realized” part of “she realized her car was on fire” is important because it implies that she just figured it out. Her car could be on fire without her knowing if she was high up in a building with her faming car below. Say she looked out the window and suddenly realized that her was on fire. She didn’t know that before, so therefore, “she realized”.
Yes, but it's usually better to show that realization than say it. For instance: A woman washes dishes in her apartment. She hears shouting and the siren of a fire truck, so she steps out onto the balcony to look at the street. Her car is on fire. She thinks an impressive number of bad words on her way down the stairs. It takes more words, but it's more immersive. Different example of a realization: Her mind races to think of an answer- "Silence! The answer to the riddle is silence." (I'm pretty sure the "-" can be used like that, but I basically never use it and might be wrong.) Also you can have the character say it plainly: She holds up a hand to stop the conversation. "I just realized something." However, it's your writing, your style. In some cases you might want the distance filter words give to the reader, or you might need the speed telling gives the narrative: (action scenes generally) She realized too late that the strike was a feint. The cut on her shoulder stung as she backed away. It's also still a matter of how much you use the filter words. If the story flows, you're good.
#1 Filler words (Using unnecessary words to describe a scene--- be CONCISE!) - "She realized that her car was on fire." VS. "Her car was on fire." #2 Crutch Words (An over used single word throughout the manuscript ) #3 Overuse of Adverbs (replace adverb with better actions) - He smiled uncomfortably. (This one is an exception, since it conveys a different mood for a scene) - "He smiled _widely._ " vs. "He grinned." #4 Shifts in tense - Incorrect example: "She saw a bird. It *is* beautiful." (Simple Past Tense) - Correct example: "He slowed down, stumbling forward." (Past tense with Present Participle) #5 Shifts in POV - Be consistent with your POV - Some writers mistakenly add explanations for world building in Third Person Deep, but that just insinuates that you're no longer in the mind of your OC. Therefore, the POV shifts to third person omniscient instead. #6 Dialogue tags (Using "said" isn't dead) - Avoid using "said" repetitively, but also realize that using "said" is fine - Using different dialogue tags are necessary if you wanna show which character is speaking, but don't also overdo using them when the dialogue changes to different characters #7 Paragraphs - Paragraphs are different from essays. They change when the subject changes, so no need to worry about keeping it long! Leave it short if need be. In fiction, some paragraphs can be 3 sentences or even one word! - 2 people speaking with dialogue in one paragraph is a BIG NO NO, just separate them! #8 Repetition of words (Different from crutch words from #2) - Avoid using same word multiple times in close proximity/same scenes Example: Referencing a staircase 3 times in one paragraph or same scene - Tip: Have editors or people peer review your writing #9 Internet Jargon - Slang, idioms, & internet capitalizations have different meanings in fiction Example: "She SAID this." Capitalized words in fiction = yelling Capitalized words on the internet = emphasizing something In fiction, use _italics_ to emphasize a phrase. #10 Homophones - Ensure that you're spelling and understanding words/definitions correctly Example: They're, their, there Affect, effect Happy writing to y'all! ~
I never used Capitalization to emphasize anything,it always meant yelling for me. I even had to advice my parents to never use it since it's easier than to explain internet etiquette.
Tip: avoid "said" by describing an action the speaking character is taking as they're saying their dialogue. Example: Alice looked up from her book. "Where are you going?" "No where." Bob stuck a piece of paper into his pocket.
Somewhere SOMEbody should point out that after reasonably establishing the active pair in a dialogue, and their dialogue cycle, you can forego the dialogue tags altogether. Alice looked up from her book. "Where are you going?" "Nowhere." Bob stuck a piece of paper into his pocket. "Well, if you're going nowhere, why not wear your slippers around the house?" "I... er... My feet were a bit chilled is all." "Uh-huh..." Alice returned to her reading, almost burying her nose into the book. Bob sighed and decided to try slipping out the back door instead. If you've read many novels, you probably have already seen (as I have many times) whole pages of dialogue with scarcely more than a couple reference tags at one or two points, just to keep readers assured that they've got the cycle right. The only time to break this in lengthy conversations is with the introduction (or intrusion) of a new character. Then of course, you have to start increasing the tag usage, since the conversation dynamic is entirely different. I mean, really, have you ever seen three people hold a conversation with a specific cycle for any length of time? ;o)
"Two speakers should not have dialogue in the same paragraph do this and I will fight you." Ahh everytime I read fanfiction I see this happen and it just makes me wanna rip my eyes out
Dialogue tags: You can also do something like this Jenna smirked, "Where did all these crabs come from?" or Jenna shook her fist, "Ya big bag o'beans!" character + action = perfectly functional dialogue tag in disguise
Not to be pedantic, but those should have periods, not commas. They function like dialogue tags to tell you who is speaking, but they are punctuated differently.
I have a thick southern US accent, which isn't just an accent, but comes with a whole mountain of phrases and terms that are casual and normal to me, but do not seem right to most people. "He ran to the store right quick" or "It was an outcome he could not hardly predict" are both grammatically accurate, but occasionally trip people up so bad they think it's typing error. So I try to avoid them as best I can when writing.
I don't have your accent but I have been told that I "talk like a cowboy" and have to try real hard to keep it out of my writing. Not a whole lotta folk say folk XD
@Skylynxify Reborn I mostly just have nonsense abbreviations, and not just "Ya'll" and "Ain't" .. like "Could'n've", "Sha'nt", and "Hell've" .. we uh, don't like to pronounce "have" or "not"
"Whoever said 'said is dead' should be dead instead of said" YES. Omigod I see this so often and it's one of my biggest pet peeves with writing mistakes because I'm like, you don't need to say "he commented" right after someone else "clarified" and before another person "bellowed". It's good to know those words exist in case using them is the only way to communicate the way in which someone is saying something, but god overusing them is so painful to read
So many of these took me WAY back! When I really got into writing there was SO many "school learned" habits and whatnot that I had to unlearn. It was/is such a pain trying to unteach myself all of those lessons that were instilled in me as a youth. But, if nothing else, it's taught me to "keep learning". And I do. And a huge thanks to you, Jenna, because you're such a big help in my continuing to learn process.
I'd say my two most prominent writing quirks are: 1.) In dialogue I tend to use the words "Oh, Ummm, well" frequently. 2.) I catch my self using ellipsis (...) A LOT This is mostly because I write how people talk naturally. When ever I feel my characters take breaks in their sentences, I add these fillers. I've gotten better at it, but it still needs some work.
I realized three chapters in that 90% of my sentences ended with ellipsis instead of periods. Also I noticed my strange fetish for commas, using them to separate dialogue streams.
Same!! I think it's partly because I watch cartoons more than reading, so while I'm great at dialogue, I tend to write like a script, which doesn't always work well for a book format.
The first one is actually pretty great in a book. It really makes the characters feel alive. As no character will even not stumble or pause when thinking, between words. Or in the instance of a nervous character, they will use said words. For example: Jenna walked over to her desk, and as she was sitting down she noticed Abigails bag. "Hey, I really like your purse!" She exlaimed. Abigail's head shot up, startled out of her writing by Jenna's compliment. "Oh, ugh. Yeah, thanks. Umm, i ugh... I got it from JC Penny. Like, a few years back. It's really old and tattered by now. I really should get it replaced soon.", she nervously laughed, self-consciously moving her arms over her purse in a desperate attempt to shield it from further inspection. The first character is confident in her actions, so her words carry that in her mannerisms. The second character is clearly uncomfortable and lacks the confidence in her words. As well as being startled which means her mind will be reacting as she is speaking as it is off guard. So her words will be choppy as her mind tries to find the right words she needs. She may even use the wrong word when describing something. As that is very normal in speaking. It would feel completely different if she responded in the same way as Jenna. It wouldn't feel natural. It is all about balancing it and knowing your characters personality, quircks, and mannerisms. Which will help tell you if what you're writing is necessary or correct in that situation.
@@vetsrus31 Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. Deep down, I was like "Is this really wrong?" I just worded it like "Yes, this is definitely wrong" in my previous comment because I assumed that was the correct answer.
I’m horrified at the thought of a published work not using the correct homophones. Yeesh! This was extremely helpful, especially the part covering shifting tenses. Thank you again, Jenna! You rock! 🖤
It is. I'm down for a tense shifting video. I'm good at not doing it, but I could use suggestions for how to get around it when it feels like there's no other way.
“Both a gerund and a present participle come from a verb, and both end in -ing. However, each has a different function. A gerund acts like a noun while a present participle acts like a verb or adjective.Jan 12, 2016”
pelo teu nome eu imagino que tu seja falante de português, então: enquanto em português gerúndio é um indicativo de processo/ação (ex.: "ela está fazendo uma ligação"), e o particípio que pode ser equiparado a um adjetivo (ex.: "o texto foi bem escrito"); no inglês é o contrário. o particípio é responsável pela descrição de processos/ações, seja ele presente (usado nas formas contínuas) ou passado (usado nos perfect tenses), enquanto o gerúndio é a forma adjetivada. com o ensino de inglês da educação básica é bem complicado porque os professores tendem a chamar tudo de "forma -ing." desculpa pela nerdzada sobre inglês, mas eu não pude resistir.
I personally only write a new paragraph when a new character gets added to the conversation(unless they're answering a question or something similar), when there's a point of view change, for dramatic effect(I use that reason sparingly of course), when there's a time skip(again, I use time skips sparingly), or when the scenery changes(i.e: A character walking out of a building)
6 DIALOG TAGS: Years ago there was a science fiction series about an MC named Tom Swift. Tom Swit had so may variations for "said" that they became known as "Tom Swifties." In some cases they were a pun on the circumstances (per Wikipedia): "I'd like to stop by the mausoleum," Tom said cryptically. "Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily. "Get to the back of the ship!" Tom said sternly. "I have no flowers," Tom said lackadaisically.
The first Tom Swift books date to 1910, but new stories were written as recently as 2007. I know 'Tom Swifties' were still around in the 1960's. Don't know if thety still are. Look him up on Wikipedia.
I don't know why I'm losing it on this one, but (from the same Wikipedia page): "I'm throwing this soup on the ground!" said Tom with wanton disregard.
Suddenly is a pretty bad word by default. If it is an action you wrote into the story with no warning, then it is happening suddenly without you needing to say so.
I'm really bad with such and such character gazes at him, or looks at her, or such as such returns her attention back to him. I used to be bad with suddenly, thankfully I've cut down on that. I'm also really bad with starting out a sentence with "As the".
8:40 I'll admit it here, I don't write professionally. I write fanfiction and I roleplay. But still. A fun fact about me is that, when I roleplayed (or was writing fanfiction), I wouldn't use dialogue tags but I would use the names right next to the person, especially if I was introducing a new character to the scene. I was scared people wouldn't know who was talking. But then I learned about using narrative. And now I can happily read my own writing. I can't read my old stuff.
I really struggle when characters move. He moved towards... He walked towards... Heading over to *, she... She ran to... Someone help me! Edit : Thanks for the advice guys!
a lot of the time you don't really need alternatives for these types of things. 'he moved towards' is something i gravitate to a lot, there's nothing wrong with that one at all. if you're trying for more specificity (which is always essential in writing, i think) then you can of course use synonyms, body language and expressions to make it more unique. e.g. 'quick as the crack of a whip and just as scathing, he turned his cheek and strode towards the window...' but this isn't always necessary. sometimes 'he moved towards' is the best thing to use. you don't always need so much detail!!
@@tia2108 Thanks Tia! I felt it was too generic but I understand sometimes generic is better because it's kind of invisible, just like using "said". Thanks
Just skip it. Instead of saying he moved to the window, just say he opened the window. Then in the next sentence he's doing whatever with whatever object he was already reasonably close to.
Hey Jenna!!! I'm so relieved to hear that you can use a phrase like "He slowed down, stumbling forward" as it's something I've always done in my writing and my English teachers are always getting me to change it. At 6:45 you mention you'd be willing to go into further explanation about this and I'd love it if you could in another video! :)
I know one author who still uses "said" after every dialogue piece in her entire 15 books series. 10 books and 5 main characters in, it gets extremely frustrating. The audiobooks are almost impossible to listen to.
There was this one book I read where MOST of the dialogue tags used "said"....but it was at the beginning of the sentence. It was really weird. Ive never seen anyone else write like that.
"Let me tell you a funny story," she giggled. "I'm scared," he whispered. If a character is saying something while laughing about it, I don't really understand why so many people take issue with using a word for laughter rather than the word "said." Of course, this should not suggest going overkill with these words. Using said is perfectly fine, but to throw those tags in there every now and then does give the reader a little something extra not only to read, but to help express the way the line is delivered.
@Anderson oh yeah, that's one case when 'said' would deaden your writing. But in normal everyday conversation, it is preferable to use 'said'. "good morning, Lou," said Alex. "good morning, Lou," greeted Alex. The latter is redundant because most people already know that 'good morning' is a greeting.
@@melissawalsh8760 because it's like you're saying it while you're also laughing. Haven't you ever heard anybody try to talk but they're also laughing at the same time? It adds a little life to the lines.
I think it's about balance. A few different dialogue tags can spice up the dialogue, but they should be used sparingly. It might also have to do with personal preference? Like, personally, I tend to find dialogue tags other than 'said' or 'asked' kind of annoying if they're used often, but some people might not like 'said'.
@@CorinneA3 it's totally about balance. Too much of anything is annoying whether it has to do with dialogue or not. Changing things up shows that you are able to mix things up in such a way that the reader will never take notice of anything being repetitive. You don't want them to notice repetitive because then they will start looking for repetitive and it will start annoying them.
The interrobang actually comes from mangas and comics, and I generally and sparing apply it with the question mark first, exclamation second, in dialogue to emphasize surprise or confusion, or if a question is being asked in a noisy environment.
Thank you for going into depth on how these rules work! I often get tired of both the "Said is dead" party and the "Always use said" people. Thank you, for being clear with why the rules are the way they are and including how to do the exceptions properly.
Give the reader more credit than that :) they're smarter than you think. If using ‘?!’ Is a problem, like Jenna said, try to find another way to convey their emotions of anger and confusion.
Merriam-Webster says interrobangs are punctuation. I use them in dialog where context is supposed to come from the words and how they're spoken. One or two in a story is fine, imo. One or two a page is ridiculous. #HillsToDieOn
I appreciate the responses here, but I am with you, @Sire Shade, on this. I honestly feel like this is a rule in English that will soon change and should change. The problem with using the alternate dialog tag (which is a genius workaround, by the way) is that readers are preprogrammed to read a sentence in a certain way based solely on the punctuation mark (a fact that allows "said" to be an innocuous dialog tag). When the reader sees a question mark, they read the sentence as a standard question lacking emotion. When they then read "shouted", they have to go back and reread the sentence as an emotional question, or at least immediately retcon the story in their head to align with this new information. The interrobang serves to eliminate this stutter in the fluidity of the reading process. I'm all for the most obscure rules of English, such as parallelism and the inability to end sentences with prepositions, but sometimes informal language evolves to reveal a solution to a problem that persists solely because the rules of English are not considered on a case-by-case basis. Unfortunately, the argument all too often and all too quickly becomes, "If we change this rule just because we 'feel' like it, why are there any rules to English in the first place?" This way of thinking is reductive, and it serves as an impediment to the constantly evolving nature of language. Sorry I ranted.
RUclips wants all the moneys. Not only are they shoving more ads in to interrupt the content, they are becoming stingier and stingier with the content creators.
Oh boy, it took me too long to figure out the emphasis thing. I was redoing some old stories so a friend could read them and pretty much every chapter there was at least one word I thought "...no 2014 Ed, you don't need to capitalize that...or that..." XD
Can we please do that video? I’m struggling to identify if I really have this problem or if I’m confusing myself on present parcibles (I’ve never heard of this before and apparently can’t spell it...) but it would be immensely helpful!!!!
I've accidentally shifted in tense and I also have accidentally shifted in POV 😂 (with 3rd and 1st POV, I accidentally shifted from 1st POV to 3rd POV)
I would love to see a video about shifts in tense!! I also think it would be interesting if you could talk more about unintentional shifts in pov in third person limited/third person deep. Like, not necessarily knowing too much, but more accidentally writing from the wrong persons pov for a sentence or paragraph... i don't know if that makes any sense. On the topic of shifting povs, do you have any tips on how to make sure that it's not confusing when you're shifting povs within the same chapter/scene?
@@shieldgenerator7 Yeah I agree, I was just using it for a character's interpretation of another person's emotion which isn't always clear. There are better ways though.
@@jenna.livingston describe their facial expressions. like instead of "she seemed depressed." say "she smiled briefly at his joke, but her frown immediately returned."
@@shieldgenerator7 Yeah I agree that's better, it's one of those things I wrote down to look for once I finish my first draft. I'm just trying to finish it up first and then fix all those dumb mistakes haha. I just highlight them and move on for now!
I stopped reading a book recently because the author would have 5 characters in scene and I could NEVER tell who was talking at any given time. I just gave up eventually.
Haha that's why I like to give characters different fonts. Like one is bold and another is italicized. I realize now that might be annoying to some people...shit
@@LamisonJamison we do tend to have an internal voice associated with different fonts and styles. For me personally, a bold font tends to be a booming voice, like a god speaking from on high. Italicized can be a bit more ethereal or an indicator of internal thoughts. I've used it for psychic conversations. There would be a different voice in our head for each font you used, but it would probably come across like a chat between Thor and Tinkerbell. lol. It's a pain to try and avoid the "he said, she said, they said" chain, and a lot of the time we end up having our characters fidget or pace just to change it up. John leaned back in his chair and stared at her. "blah blah blah" Sarah raised an eyebrow at him. "blah blah" Filler actions to show a shift in who's speaking without resorting to "John said, said Sarah, he said." On the other hand, such actions can give our characters a little bit of life and motion, as opposed to them just sitting there staring at each other and talking without doing anything else. That could get unnerving really quick.
When I have multiple characters talking, I occasionally make them respond physically (like shifting or nodding for example) before having them speak. It's not the best option but I haven't been crucified yet so I stick with doing that.
Loved this! I definitely need to watch my adverbs. I just used the ProWritingAid software. The repeats report is going to come in so handy, I use 'you' way more than I thought in my blog posts!
This is really helpful. A friend of mine has almost read ever warrior cats book and she's kinda sad she's getting to the end, despite it still being continued. So I'm writing similar series for her to read in between official books being released. I checked one of the chapters to check if I did any of these and I noticed alot of repetition, I guess I have to practice more.
I don’t know who needs to read this but: One quirk I weened myself out of that I witness a lot of new writers doing is an abuse of the word “as”. Which is to say: “I will stop you!” John declared as he lifted his sword on high. That in and of itself isn’t bad, but I used to abuse this conjoining of character actions way too often. I think because I thought it would make the scene flow better but instead it became repetitive. I’m very conscious of this now with other people’s writing and it seems like a quirk that slips through to publication so often I’m surprised it Isn’t mentioned. Once again, it’s not bad if you do this once in awhile, but in a couple of self published book I read, this was employed at least once per page. Personally, I like to revise this inclination to be a dialogue tag at the start of a declaration and try to consolidate my words to be concise but effective: John brandished his sword, “I will stop you.” There. The reader gets the jist. They know who is talking. They envision their resolve. We move on the with scene without that hitch.
I'm so used to reading five year old writing help videos I got so confused all the comments were from a few hours ago. Then I realised this channel is active. I love the fact that you have so many videos to help with everything, Jenna!
I remember in school, having to write a short story with the essay writing style. It was irritating, because I knew stories weren't written like that. I just didn't know why until today. Good info. You've been added to my helpful, Writing playlist.
When you started saying ways school-taught writing conventions ruin writing, I got nervous you were going to say something's bad that I tell my high school students, but nope - everything you said made total sense! We have very similar grammatical and structural pet peeves. Doing my best to get them to write paragraphs based on when the subject matter progresses (instead of on some arbitrary sentence count) and to not mix up homophones.
My brother does the same thing. He is a doctor and tends to overdescribe things. Or compare things often. I on the other hand am a rather selfconsious and not overly confident person. So i tend to use ugh, umm, well, hmm... a lot. Even when I am confident in what i am saying, or telling a fact. However, i have an uncanny ability to mimic others. So if i am in a long conversation with someone or with them for several days. I will start to change or even adopt some of there speech patterns when speaking to them. I even do that with phrases. For instance, if i am speaking with someone from say Texas I will start adopting southern phrases. Like "folks, ain't, shan't." Etc. Or "Swet as Apple pie". Not entirely sure why i do that last bit. I assume it is a trait i picked up to make me blend in better so i don't sound so foolish and lacking.*shrugs*. Anyways, guess what I am trying to say, is that it is a neat trait that can tell you a lot about a person. Just things i have noticed over the years.
I dont have a crutch word but I do have a crutch phrase if that counts. I seem to keep using the phrase "almost as if". Ive had to rewrite so much because of it 😂
wait, using an exclamation mark and a question mark at the end of dialogue is incorrect? she called it an interrobang, but as far as i know the interrobang is its own punctuation mark that isnt really used, whereas an exclamation point + question mark in tandem are widely used and accepted. it has a slightly different function from either mark by itself
It's not considered professional punctuation. In screenplays, it won't be accepted. You choose either/or and the reader/actor deciphers based on context if it's a yell/question or not. :)
Okay... I've NEVER read a book where I didn't feel I was reading a book... especially fiction, in fact only fiction... The only times I've NOT felt that I was reading a book is when reading history. Even reading something like Tolkien, King, Rowling, Grisham, Cussler, etc., all these fantastic authors that I profoundly love and cherish, I always feel like I am reading book. It is very-very difficult for a book to draw me in, to make me feel like I am 'there'. Fiction cannot immerse me anywhere near as deep as a good history book can. To me, reading goes waaayy above and beyond "show, don't tell", etc. I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that what I read is fiction -- that instant de-coupling sets me off somehow. That isn't to say I don't enjoy many stories, but there is always this 'glass window' between myself and the story I am reading. On the whole POV debacle, you missed multiple first-person perspectives in a book -- they are a thing. ;-)
I was at one point a repeat offender when it came to tense shifts. Now that quirk has been completely eradicated from my writing. One down, god knows how many to go!
The best advice I think I’ve gotten for paragraph length is “A paragraph is a thought. Doesn’t end until the main thought ends”
yes! I also use this to tell if I'm rambling. "this paragraph is too long, lets see what I need to cut out."
I think this is what I was taught in college, but the terms were more like "paragraph is a complete idea" and "sentence is a thought". That framework has kept me pretty grounded, even though it often feels like I'll make a chain of 2-sentence paragraphs and get sidetracked from the material. That's also my best understanding of how to convey pacing. Short, brief paragraphs convey ideas at a rapid pace while long convoluted ones dwell too long.
Flow. It's all about flow. Do your words flow? This is what dedicates my writing style.
Plus, if you don't want to have a ton of single sentences in a row, then you might want to consider putting them all into one paragraph.
As Jack veered round the curve, he started to lose control. "Everyone hold on!" Said Jack as he struggled to control the Mustang. "Watch out for that truck!" Cried out Amy. "Were all going to die!" Susan exclaimed while ducking down into the seat below.
Now imagine each one of those in their own paragraph.
As Jack veered round the curve, he started to lose control. "Everyone hold on!" Said Jack as he struggled to control the Mustang.
"Watch out for that truck!" Cried out Amy.
Were all going to die!" Susan exclaimed while ducking down into the seat below.
Is that really better? Acceptable, maybe. Better, I don't think so.
"And yea, I used exclaimed" Reggie exclaimed as he taunted the readers below.
that’s genius, thank you!
@@Reggie2000 I prefer any type of dialogue to be it's own paragraph based on who's speaking bc it just makes things much easier to read and immediately know who is speaking and when that changes, imo of course
“Nope,” I say, exiting out of a fanfiction with all the dialogue of all the characters in one paragraph.
LMAOO
Same.
“I’m desperate,” I say, continuing to read said fanfic but doing is with great pain.
“Screw this,” I say, as i leave the 20,000 word fanfiction that is all inside of one chapter
Meeee
"One of my critique partners started to leave crab gifs all over the document."
I now feel the urge to hang out with this person.
Right!?
C r a b🦀🔪
I associate scurrying with rodents, skittering on the other claw... 🦀🔪
Same I also kind of want them as critique partner now because that would be the funniest way of being told "hey your using this word too much"😂
@@TeroTheShortOne How about scuttling?
"next is shift in pov"
Me : but my book is told from multiple perspectives.
Jenna : BuT mY bOoK iS tOLd fROm mulTiPle peRsPecTiveS! Then this doesn't apply to you, ya sack of beans.
Me:...
I read it at the same time Jenna said this sentence.
😂😂😂
There was book series called the Illuminatus Trilogy where there are sections that the perspective shifts mid paragraph. There is a reason for it, but even the author had to go meta at one point to say how absurd it was.
@@thanesgames9685 in my book at one point the main trio splits up when the MC betrays his 2 friends. That's when I kinda have no choice but to add another perspective otherwise part of the story would be lost
@@monikakavaliunaite8017 I think it is normal to have multiple POV's, and authors need to decided how they do that. I like having a chapter division between POV shifts, but sometimes it still makes sense to have it within a chapter.
And then sometimes it is from a narrators POV and they are revealing what multiple characters are thinking/seeing/feeling about the scene.
I think all of it is fine, so long as you are consistent so it isn't confusing or immersion breaking.
My crutch word was "smirked" for a while. My beta reader told me from then on I was only allowed one smirk per 100 pages
Edit: I now realize I have many, many crutch words and phrases. Save me.
Mine is "looked" :c
Omg I love that!
Damn :’)
Lol. My characters tend to end up sighing way too damn often.
Mine is probably Nod. My characters are a bunch of fckn bobbleheads if I dont watch it
"But, Jenna, of course, they're reading."
"Yeah, but they're not supposed to know that!"
"aH, I fOrGoT i WaS wAsHiNg ThE DiShEs AnD dId CoCaInE"
@@aureusknighstar2195 I'm dying
@@aureusknighstar2195 what in the holy balsac of father joe
Sometimes when writing dialogue, you can avoid writing any indicator that they're speaking. For instance;
"Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" she scribbled something onto her clipboard, "I need them put into storage."
The reader knows they're speaking, so you sometimes don't have to write 'they said' and whatnot.
Great point, but your grammar is a little off. "She scribbled something onto her clipboard" is it's own sentence.
"Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" She scribbled something onto her clipboard. "I need them put into storage."
@@melissawalsh8760 I've been taught to use a comma when I'm continuing prose into dialogue by my English professors. I've seen other books do it too.
@@samhayes-astrion
You use commas when using dialogue tags. You use two commas when splitting up a single sentence with a dialogue tag.
ie. "Hey," she said, "can you help me move some of these boxes? I need them put into storage."
ie."Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" she said. "I need them put into storage."
When you break up two sentences of dialogue with action instead of a dialogue tag, you use punctuation.
ie. "Hey, can you help me move some of these boxes?" She scribbled something onto her clipboard. "I need them put into storage."
@@melissawalsh8760 Really? Hmm... Is there a reason it's like this? I suppose being told the reasons behind it might help me commit it to memory better (because now I have a metric ton of edits to do.)
@@samhayes-astrion I don't know the official reasoning, but I'm guessing it's because the action beats are standalone sentences that don't have a direct link to the dialogue.
This website does cover the rule in Rule #4. blog.reedsy.com/punctuating-dialogue/
Also, I did check to see if ProWritingAid caught this problem, and it does not, but the "dialogue" report might help you review your dialogue issues.
"Repetition and crutch words" sweats in sighing, furrowing brows, and tilting heads
I felt that.
Raises eyebrows, looked, sighs😭i need help
Called me out lmfao
sigh is a big one for me. also phrases like 'tears filled her eyes' or 'small smiles'. that last one i'm starting to catch more often but how many ways can tears fill, flow, drip, etc??
Oh God I'm writing a pirate story and let me tell you only so many fucking ways to describe the ocean over 150,000 words
"Whoever said, said is dead should be dead instead of said" Try saying that five times fast oof
DONE! 😁
@@yashvibulani7495 Yay! :)
Missed by second time X'D
I did it, and almost died 😌
Done!
Honestly, it wasn’t that difficult.
As someone who knows English as their second language, i can't comprehend how natives can confuse "there, their and they're" and "to, two and too".Their meaning is so different, like, how do you even communicate.
It seems to be largely Americans that make this mistake. The confusion comes from the fact that they all sound the same.
Yes. Just yes. I can tell the difference very easily and I'm not even a native speaker. It's not hard at all if you paid any attention in school.
I think it might be because a native speaker hears the words before seeing them written but when you learn a foreign language at school like I did you likely see it written before you hear it.
If you are a struggling writer, this ebook is for you.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07LH6KNHY
I couldn't get either why people would confuse homophones in my language, until I wrote over 200 pages, and proof read them. Sometimes, your mind simply bugs. You think a word, you type another, because you "hear" what you want to write ( I do at least) and your brain just links the word you "hear" to the wrong spelling, because you are obviously focused on thinking about the story and not on what you are actually writting. And if you read again your sentence, you could swear you had written the right word. But the proof is there, you didnt. Haha.
(I'm French, and I did find myself misspelling a/à, près/prêt, voie/voix/vois/voit more times than I would have ever thought I might ever mispell them before. Was used to A grades- 20/20 on spelling tests soooo)
Title: 10 WORST WRITING QUIRKS.
Me: One of them has to be having a character's personality be 'qUiRkY'
"Like OMG, I'm not like other girls, I am really an ancient dragon that uses train cars as roller skates." *Brain flash* wait a minute, I gotta write this down.
RoseKindred “oh my gosh I’m not like other girls! I shop at thrift stores, believe in aliens, and am incredibly clumsy! Aren’t I quirky?”😂
"She's not like other girls. She has hands"
@@RoseKindred That's not a bad idea actually. Give her an actual personality and you're got a character!
@@beccag2758 because most girls are oBsEsSeD with mAkEuP and sHoPpInG. (it pains me to have written that sentence)
One of my crutch words is “just.” I just can’t seem to stop using it!
Anyone to tell you otherwise should just get! You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. 😝
That's just ridiculous
wow, y'all really just made that pun huh.
Same... -_- Send help.
Isn't it just so annoying?
"sometimes filter words are necessary, but 9 outta 10 times they can be left out"
me: says "ok but this is a necessary one" in 9/10 cases
I feel like you summed up my life fairly well. 😛
I don't have much experience, so take this with a grain of salt, but I feel like in this case, practice is the only thing that can really help. I think you should allow yourself to make these mistakes if you genuinely don't know what else to do. Preferably, you can get beta readers to help.
There's also Thesaurus.com. It is a boon for writers of all kinds!
"you big bag of beans" is my new wholesome insult
"You big overstuffed bag of twice baked black-eyed peas!" When you REALLY need to get the point across.
@@therealbahamut It lost the alliteration though :(
i have gas problems, so go ahead and swear at me!
"you itchy sweater" is one of my favorite wholesome insults.
Shes adorable. Wifey material that jenna
I remember in 1st grade my class was given the whole, "Said is dead" lesson. Then we all wrote stories that were our own versions of "The runaway rabbit". One of my classmates took this to heart and made sure that NONE of the dialog tags in her story had said. The teacher told the entire class this and gave another lesson on why "said" isn't so bad and how to appropriately should use, "yell", "scream", "whisper", "told", "sang", etc.
I was just thinking as I watched this, that the word 'said' is a lot like those other repeat words every author will naturally use, like 'the', 'it', 'and' etc. They are all just functional, largely invisible words. Imagine how annoying it would be if someone tried to replace 'and' with different words all the time. "Brian came, also Dave, in addition to Maddy." Almost as annoying as all those 'said' replacements. ^_^
Although most people will act like this is a No-No, sometimes if a character says something while laughing about it, I will say something like... "yeah, I know," he chuckled.
I don't really understand how that is a No-No or how it would annoy people.
@@darrenfreyauthor Some of the time is no big deal. It just gets to be too much if the writer uses colourful dialogue tags all the time. :)
@@zanleuxs well yeah, repeatedly doing it would be annoying, just like having everything anybody says followed by he said or she said would get annoying. I'm not talking about strictly doing one or the other but mixing them up.
Moderation is key. Gotta have a wavelength that feels like it's not repeating itself OR desperately trying to sound smarter than it is.
If you only have two speakers in the conversation, once you establish each speaker's first turn, you can just omit the he said / she said altogether.
Video starts at 2:45
2:45 Filter Words
3:42 Crutch Words
4:22 Adverbs
5:32 Shifts in Tense
6:53 Shifts in POV
8:04 Dialogue Tags
9:11 Paragraphs
9:52 Repetition
10:42 Internet Jargon
11:25 Homophones
thank you...
W
I feel like teachers telling us not to use said is like them telling us not start a sentence with and. They both limit our writing ability.
It took me YEARS to undo the whole "don't start a story with 'and', 'but' or 'because'". It limits wiring so much when you don't use them
I am the sentence frag queen. I can seldom catch it in self-editing because it’s so indoctrinated. If I do find and edit one it jabs me in the brain every time I read it after that because it doesn’t flow the same 🙃
@@LovelyKelly645 I was taught not to start with these words when writing an essay or some sort of a research paper. However, we were encouraged to use them (but not overuse them) when writing fiction. Starting with And, because or But gives a story a beautiful flare if done correctly. It is very surprising if kids were discouraged from using these words in all types of fiction but I agree that starting non fiction essay with, say, "because" feels very childish.
I thought it was grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with and. It's a good thing I wasnt writing then
Totally agree!
The “she realized” part of “she realized her car was on fire” is important because it implies that she just figured it out. Her car could be on fire without her knowing if she was high up in a building with her faming car below. Say she looked out the window and suddenly realized that her was on fire. She didn’t know that before, so therefore, “she realized”.
Yes, but it's usually better to show that realization than say it.
For instance:
A woman washes dishes in her apartment. She hears shouting and the siren of a fire truck, so she steps out onto the balcony to look at the street. Her car is on fire. She thinks an impressive number of bad words on her way down the stairs.
It takes more words, but it's more immersive. Different example of a realization:
Her mind races to think of an answer- "Silence! The answer to the riddle is silence."
(I'm pretty sure the "-" can be used like that, but I basically never use it and might be wrong.)
Also you can have the character say it plainly:
She holds up a hand to stop the conversation. "I just realized something."
However, it's your writing, your style. In some cases you might want the distance filter words give to the reader, or you might need the speed telling gives the narrative: (action scenes generally)
She realized too late that the strike was a feint. The cut on her shoulder stung as she backed away.
It's also still a matter of how much you use the filter words. If the story flows, you're good.
@@pbbandit4324 its been a year but, i want to thank you for this comment because it really helped me despite being a year old.
#1 Filler words (Using unnecessary words to describe a scene--- be CONCISE!)
- "She realized that her car was on fire."
VS. "Her car was on fire."
#2 Crutch Words (An over used single word throughout the manuscript )
#3 Overuse of Adverbs (replace adverb with better actions)
- He smiled uncomfortably. (This one is an exception, since it conveys a different mood for a scene)
- "He smiled _widely._ " vs. "He grinned."
#4 Shifts in tense
- Incorrect example: "She saw a bird. It *is* beautiful." (Simple Past Tense)
- Correct example: "He slowed down, stumbling forward." (Past tense with Present Participle)
#5 Shifts in POV
- Be consistent with your POV
- Some writers mistakenly add explanations for world building in Third Person Deep, but that just insinuates that you're no longer in the mind of your OC. Therefore, the POV shifts to third person omniscient instead.
#6 Dialogue tags (Using "said" isn't dead)
- Avoid using "said" repetitively, but also realize that using "said" is fine
- Using different dialogue tags are necessary if you wanna show which character is speaking, but don't also overdo using them when the dialogue changes to different characters
#7 Paragraphs
- Paragraphs are different from essays. They change when the subject changes, so no need to worry about keeping it long! Leave it short if need be. In fiction, some paragraphs can be 3 sentences or even one word!
- 2 people speaking with dialogue in one paragraph is a BIG NO NO, just separate them!
#8 Repetition of words (Different from crutch words from #2)
- Avoid using same word multiple times in close proximity/same scenes
Example: Referencing a staircase 3 times in one paragraph or same scene
- Tip: Have editors or people peer review your writing
#9 Internet Jargon
- Slang, idioms, & internet capitalizations have different meanings in fiction
Example: "She SAID this."
Capitalized words in fiction = yelling
Capitalized words on the internet = emphasizing something
In fiction, use _italics_ to emphasize a phrase.
#10 Homophones
- Ensure that you're spelling and understanding words/definitions correctly
Example: They're, their, there
Affect, effect
Happy writing to y'all! ~
I love you. Marry me already
About homophones- Loser and Looser is completely different. I see a lot of teen writers make this mistake.
I once wrote "accented" when the word I wanted was "assented." Oops!
Thank you, that voice really violated my ears.
I never used Capitalization to emphasize anything,it always meant yelling for me. I even had to advice my parents to never use it since it's easier than to explain internet etiquette.
Tip: avoid "said" by describing an action the speaking character is taking as they're saying their dialogue.
Example:
Alice looked up from her book. "Where are you going?"
"No where." Bob stuck a piece of paper into his pocket.
*Nowhere. I hope it was autocorrect. :)
@@marikothecheetah9342 or maybe bob just misread the question and was saying "No, where?"
@@shieldgenerator7 yeah. Commas are cool to use.
Somewhere SOMEbody should point out that after reasonably establishing the active pair in a dialogue, and their dialogue cycle, you can forego the dialogue tags altogether.
Alice looked up from her book. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere." Bob stuck a piece of paper into his pocket.
"Well, if you're going nowhere, why not wear your slippers around the house?"
"I... er... My feet were a bit chilled is all."
"Uh-huh..." Alice returned to her reading, almost burying her nose into the book.
Bob sighed and decided to try slipping out the back door instead.
If you've read many novels, you probably have already seen (as I have many times) whole pages of dialogue with scarcely more than a couple reference tags at one or two points, just to keep readers assured that they've got the cycle right. The only time to break this in lengthy conversations is with the introduction (or intrusion) of a new character. Then of course, you have to start increasing the tag usage, since the conversation dynamic is entirely different. I mean, really, have you ever seen three people hold a conversation with a specific cycle for any length of time? ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 brilliant! i dont know why i never noticed this
"Two speakers should not have dialogue in the same paragraph do this and I will fight you."
Ahh everytime I read fanfiction I see this happen and it just makes me wanna rip my eyes out
If I see that in a fanfic, I drop the story immediately. No exceptions unless it's the first error of its sort.
I learnt about separating paragraphs because I read a fanfic that had clustered paras everywhere.😂😂😂😂
Great now I'll start to notice that lol
I see this in fanfic a lot.
I only recently learned that dialogue is supposed to be seperate for each speaker xD
Dialogue tags: You can also do something like this
Jenna smirked, "Where did all these crabs come from?"
or
Jenna shook her fist, "Ya big bag o'beans!"
character + action = perfectly functional dialogue tag in disguise
Not to be pedantic, but those should have periods, not commas. They function like dialogue tags to tell you who is speaking, but they are punctuated differently.
There was another commenter in this section whose crutch word was "smirked!"
I have a thick southern US accent, which isn't just an accent, but comes with a whole mountain of phrases and terms that are casual and normal to me, but do not seem right to most people. "He ran to the store right quick" or "It was an outcome he could not hardly predict" are both grammatically accurate, but occasionally trip people up so bad they think it's typing error. So I try to avoid them as best I can when writing.
I, for one, would *love* to read a narrative in a thick southern accent. Especially a high fantasy or scifi lol That'd just charm my britches off :p
I don't have your accent but I have been told that I "talk like a cowboy" and have to try real hard to keep it out of my writing. Not a whole lotta folk say folk XD
@Skylynxify Reborn I mostly just have nonsense abbreviations, and not just "Ya'll" and "Ain't" .. like "Could'n've", "Sha'nt", and "Hell've" .. we uh, don't like to pronounce "have" or "not"
@@ThrottleKitty this is exactly why I try not to use contractions when writing lol (unless it's a character speaking)
I reckon so.
Jenna is still the best 🙌🏾
The fuck are you doing here. Getting tips for some star wars romance novel?
Hey liked your book
"Whoever said 'said is dead' should be dead instead of said"
YES. Omigod I see this so often and it's one of my biggest pet peeves with writing mistakes because I'm like, you don't need to say "he commented" right after someone else "clarified" and before another person "bellowed". It's good to know those words exist in case using them is the only way to communicate the way in which someone is saying something, but god overusing them is so painful to read
Why do I have a feeling I'm about to get called out? 🤣🤣
So many of these took me WAY back! When I really got into writing there was SO many "school learned" habits and whatnot that I had to unlearn. It was/is such a pain trying to unteach myself all of those lessons that were instilled in me as a youth. But, if nothing else, it's taught me to "keep learning". And I do. And a huge thanks to you, Jenna, because you're such a big help in my continuing to learn process.
I'd say my two most prominent writing quirks are:
1.) In dialogue I tend to use the words "Oh, Ummm, well" frequently.
2.) I catch my self using ellipsis (...) A LOT
This is mostly because I write how people talk naturally. When ever I feel my characters take breaks in their sentences, I add these fillers. I've gotten better at it, but it still needs some work.
I realized three chapters in that 90% of my sentences ended with ellipsis instead of periods.
Also I noticed my strange fetish for commas, using them to separate dialogue streams.
Same!! I think it's partly because I watch cartoons more than reading, so while I'm great at dialogue, I tend to write like a script, which doesn't always work well for a book format.
The first one is actually pretty great in a book. It really makes the characters feel alive. As no character will even not stumble or pause when thinking, between words. Or in the instance of a nervous character, they will use said words. For example:
Jenna walked over to her desk, and as she was sitting down she noticed Abigails bag. "Hey, I really like your purse!" She exlaimed.
Abigail's head shot up, startled out of her writing by Jenna's compliment. "Oh, ugh. Yeah, thanks. Umm, i ugh... I got it from JC Penny. Like, a few years back. It's really old and tattered by now. I really should get it replaced soon.", she nervously laughed, self-consciously moving her arms over her purse in a desperate attempt to shield it from further inspection.
The first character is confident in her actions, so her words carry that in her mannerisms. The second character is clearly uncomfortable and lacks the confidence in her words. As well as being startled which means her mind will be reacting as she is speaking as it is off guard. So her words will be choppy as her mind tries to find the right words she needs. She may even use the wrong word when describing something. As that is very normal in speaking. It would feel completely different if she responded in the same way as Jenna. It wouldn't feel natural. It is all about balancing it and knowing your characters personality, quircks, and mannerisms. Which will help tell you if what you're writing is necessary or correct in that situation.
@@vetsrus31 Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. Deep down, I was like "Is this really wrong?" I just worded it like "Yes, this is definitely wrong" in my previous comment because I assumed that was the correct answer.
I’m horrified at the thought of a published work not using the correct homophones. Yeesh! This was extremely helpful, especially the part covering shifting tenses. Thank you again, Jenna! You rock! 🖤
If I saw that I might cry haha
Isn’t “stumbling” the gerund? A video about tense shifting would be very helpful, Jenna!
It is. I'm down for a tense shifting video. I'm good at not doing it, but I could use suggestions for how to get around it when it feels like there's no other way.
“Both a gerund and a present participle come from a verb, and both end in -ing. However, each has a different function. A gerund acts like a noun while a present participle acts like a verb or adjective.Jan 12, 2016”
“The stumbling was hilarious to watch.” contains the gerund of To Stumble whereas the example she used in the video is the present participle
Yes please 😫❤❤
pelo teu nome eu imagino que tu seja falante de português, então: enquanto em português gerúndio é um indicativo de processo/ação (ex.: "ela está fazendo uma ligação"), e o particípio que pode ser equiparado a um adjetivo (ex.: "o texto foi bem escrito"); no inglês é o contrário. o particípio é responsável pela descrição de processos/ações, seja ele presente (usado nas formas contínuas) ou passado (usado nos perfect tenses), enquanto o gerúndio é a forma adjetivada. com o ensino de inglês da educação básica é bem complicado porque os professores tendem a chamar tudo de "forma -ing." desculpa pela nerdzada sobre inglês, mas eu não pude resistir.
“Two people should not have dialogue in the same paragraph. Do this and I will fight you.”
*I’LL FIGHT WITH YOU*
You have my axe!
I personally only write a new paragraph when a new character gets added to the conversation(unless they're answering a question or something similar), when there's a point of view change, for dramatic effect(I use that reason sparingly of course), when there's a time skip(again, I use time skips sparingly), or when the scenery changes(i.e: A character walking out of a building)
6 DIALOG TAGS: Years ago there was a science fiction series about an MC named Tom Swift. Tom Swit had so may variations for "said" that they became known as "Tom Swifties." In some cases they were a pun on the circumstances (per Wikipedia):
"I'd like to stop by the mausoleum," Tom said cryptically.
"Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.
"Get to the back of the ship!" Tom said sternly.
"I have no flowers," Tom said lackadaisically.
That actually sounds really cool
Ok that last one made me snort. 😀
The first Tom Swift books date to 1910, but new stories were written as recently as 2007. I know 'Tom Swifties' were still around in the 1960's. Don't know if thety still are. Look him up on Wikipedia.
I don't know why I'm losing it on this one, but (from the same Wikipedia page):
"I'm throwing this soup on the ground!" said Tom with wanton disregard.
Tom Swift was basically the Hardy boys in space. My Dad had an early set of them, which my brother loved.
Favorite phrase in Jenna's videos: "But JENNA ..." It's a good crutch phrase, not a bad one. :)
I used the word "suddenly" 24 times in 10 chapters... crutch words! Fun!
Suddenly is a pretty bad word by default. If it is an action you wrote into the story with no warning, then it is happening suddenly without you needing to say so.
@@berserkerpride oh yeah I know but it's just a crutch word that I removed. I don't know why I use it that often... I just do.
@@jonathandelange259 I had to purge the character "seeing" things that were obviously happening right in front of them heh.
I bet I'm similar
I'm really bad with such and such character gazes at him, or looks at her, or such as such returns her attention back to him. I used to be bad with suddenly, thankfully I've cut down on that. I'm also really bad with starting out a sentence with "As the".
8:40
I'll admit it here, I don't write professionally. I write fanfiction and I roleplay. But still. A fun fact about me is that, when I roleplayed (or was writing fanfiction), I wouldn't use dialogue tags but I would use the names right next to the person, especially if I was introducing a new character to the scene.
I was scared people wouldn't know who was talking. But then I learned about using narrative. And now I can happily read my own writing. I can't read my old stuff.
I really struggle when characters move.
He moved towards...
He walked towards...
Heading over to *, she...
She ran to...
Someone help me!
Edit : Thanks for the advice guys!
a lot of the time you don't really need alternatives for these types of things. 'he moved towards' is something i gravitate to a lot, there's nothing wrong with that one at all. if you're trying for more specificity (which is always essential in writing, i think) then you can of course use synonyms, body language and expressions to make it more unique. e.g. 'quick as the crack of a whip and just as scathing, he turned his cheek and strode towards the window...' but this isn't always necessary. sometimes 'he moved towards' is the best thing to use. you don't always need so much detail!!
@@tia2108 Thanks Tia! I felt it was too generic but I understand sometimes generic is better because it's kind of invisible, just like using "said".
Thanks
Burhanuddin definitely agree! glad i could help :)
@@tia2108 Trust me. You saved this noob :)
Just skip it. Instead of saying he moved to the window, just say he opened the window. Then in the next sentence he's doing whatever with whatever object he was already reasonably close to.
Hey Jenna!!! I'm so relieved to hear that you can use a phrase like "He slowed down, stumbling forward" as it's something I've always done in my writing and my English teachers are always getting me to change it. At 6:45 you mention you'd be willing to go into further explanation about this and I'd love it if you could in another video! :)
I know one author who still uses "said" after every dialogue piece in her entire 15 books series. 10 books and 5 main characters in, it gets extremely frustrating. The audiobooks are almost impossible to listen to.
What series is this? I need to know for . . . research purposes.
@@kattriella1331 House of Night series by Kristin and P.C. Cast
There was this one book I read where MOST of the dialogue tags used "said"....but it was at the beginning of the sentence. It was really weird. Ive never seen anyone else write like that.
this sounds like the equivalent of a potato chip made entirely out of salt crums at the bottom of the bag
@@Trintron46 Oh, hey, I have that series! I was wondering why I never finished them . . .
"The act of running IS quick."
Me: hahaha...foolish mortal...I cannot run to save my life.
"Let me tell you a funny story," she giggled.
"I'm scared," he whispered.
If a character is saying something while laughing about it, I don't really understand why so many people take issue with using a word for laughter rather than the word "said."
Of course, this should not suggest going overkill with these words. Using said is perfectly fine, but to throw those tags in there every now and then does give the reader a little something extra not only to read, but to help express the way the line is delivered.
@Anderson oh yeah, that's one case when 'said' would deaden your writing. But in normal everyday conversation, it is preferable to use 'said'.
"good morning, Lou," said Alex.
"good morning, Lou," greeted Alex.
The latter is redundant because most people already know that 'good morning' is a greeting.
How can you "snicker" dialogue? You either snicker before the dialogue or you snicker after it, but you don't snicker the words themselves.
@@melissawalsh8760 because it's like you're saying it while you're also laughing. Haven't you ever heard anybody try to talk but they're also laughing at the same time? It adds a little life to the lines.
I think it's about balance. A few different dialogue tags can spice up the dialogue, but they should be used sparingly. It might also have to do with personal preference? Like, personally, I tend to find dialogue tags other than 'said' or 'asked' kind of annoying if they're used often, but some people might not like 'said'.
@@CorinneA3 it's totally about balance. Too much of anything is annoying whether it has to do with dialogue or not. Changing things up shows that you are able to mix things up in such a way that the reader will never take notice of anything being repetitive. You don't want them to notice repetitive because then they will start looking for repetitive and it will start annoying them.
OMG! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! make a video on shifts in tense!!!!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I just got prowritingaid. It does everything. No, really it's exceptional.
Yay! Thank you so much. We love hearing that from the writers in our community. Happy editing to you! :)
The interrobang actually comes from mangas and comics, and I generally and sparing apply it with the question mark first, exclamation second, in dialogue to emphasize surprise or confusion, or if a question is being asked in a noisy environment.
I'm not sure which is more intense, my hatred for this list, or its hatred for me. Dammit... the truth hurts so bad. >.
lol! You're officially a writer. I'm not sure of any writers who don't have enough insight to hate themselves XD
@@zomarleyonwriting8322 Wait, is it bad not to hate yourself? Like, it means you don't have insight? Not trying to be rude, I'm just confused.
I’m definitely going to need that shifting tense video. I’m really not even trying to keep it consistent right now
When you said scurry all I could think of was Timon from Lion King 1 1/2 going "scurry, sniff, flinch!" Lol.
Same...
I would LOVE a video dedicated to shifting tenses.
Okay, I didn't know about the paragraph thing.
I'm still struggling with affect and effect though 😅
Affect and effect are the bane of my existence haha.
Isn't affect if you are affected by someone and effect if there is like
A special effect like lightning?
Or am I beeing dumb too xD
Affect is a verb, effect is a noun. I think.
@@gloriafrimpong17 jeah I know I am dumb xD
Look it up on dictionary.com every time you use it. Eventually it will stick. And that one's actually hard, so don't be too hard on yourself.
Yeah, I’d love to see a video on shifts in tense. That little snippet was already so helpful.
Please please please do a video on tense shifts. This is something I struggle with.
Thank you for going into depth on how these rules work! I often get tired of both the "Said is dead" party and the "Always use said" people.
Thank you, for being clear with why the rules are the way they are and including how to do the exceptions properly.
If you don't use "!?", how are you supposed to imply surprise/anger in conjunction with confusion?
Give the reader more credit than that :) they're smarter than you think.
If using ‘?!’ Is a problem, like Jenna said, try to find another way to convey their emotions of anger and confusion.
Context?
Merriam-Webster says interrobangs are punctuation. I use them in dialog where context is supposed to come from the words and how they're spoken. One or two in a story is fine, imo. One or two a page is ridiculous.
#HillsToDieOn
I use the opposite dialog tags to the punctuation. Such as: "Are you kidding?" she shouted. Or: "What was that!" he asked.
I appreciate the responses here, but I am with you, @Sire Shade, on this. I honestly feel like this is a rule in English that will soon change and should change. The problem with using the alternate dialog tag (which is a genius workaround, by the way) is that readers are preprogrammed to read a sentence in a certain way based solely on the punctuation mark (a fact that allows "said" to be an innocuous dialog tag). When the reader sees a question mark, they read the sentence as a standard question lacking emotion. When they then read "shouted", they have to go back and reread the sentence as an emotional question, or at least immediately retcon the story in their head to align with this new information. The interrobang serves to eliminate this stutter in the fluidity of the reading process.
I'm all for the most obscure rules of English, such as parallelism and the inability to end sentences with prepositions, but sometimes informal language evolves to reveal a solution to a problem that persists solely because the rules of English are not considered on a case-by-case basis. Unfortunately, the argument all too often and all too quickly becomes, "If we change this rule just because we 'feel' like it, why are there any rules to English in the first place?" This way of thinking is reductive, and it serves as an impediment to the constantly evolving nature of language.
Sorry I ranted.
Oh, I am so bad with shifting tenses! When I really get into the writing zone, it just happens and I never even notice it!
I would’ve been here sooner but I got two 30 second UNSKIPPABLE ADS
Edit got another two 2 minutes in -.-
Bro you can skip those immediately if you click, “stop seeing this ad”
This is a problem with all RUclipsrs lately. Someone's taking advantage of us being at home more, and I'm not having it, so I'm back to using adblock.
All ya gotta do is refresh the page :)
RUclips wants all the moneys. Not only are they shoving more ads in to interrupt the content, they are becoming stingier and stingier with the content creators.
There is this wonderful invention called "free ad blocker" that you can install :D
Yes! Please do a video on tense shifts, I unconsciously do it all the time
I feel like you should make that whole video on shifting tenses
Yes
Agreed... it's the WORST when I read a novel that's in first person present tense. It screws up my writing so so hard.
I am terrible for tense shifting so I would love to have a entire video on the topic please!
Love your content!
But, Jenna! I love adverbs soooo much. They're my favorite words.
Yes! Please do a video on shifting tenses.
Honestly, that's such a pretty lip color on you. Thanks for the help Jenna.
You are truly the best Professor ever. I am greatly appreciative of your assistance. Peace, and ongoing Blessings to you and your loved ones.
"Ya big bag o' beans!" I love it when you do that!
I feel like the reason we gain these quirks is that we were taught to do these things during our school years.
Oh boy, it took me too long to figure out the emphasis thing. I was redoing some old stories so a friend could read them and pretty much every chapter there was at least one word I thought "...no 2014 Ed, you don't need to capitalize that...or that..." XD
Can we please do that video? I’m struggling to identify if I really have this problem or if I’m confusing myself on present parcibles (I’ve never heard of this before and apparently can’t spell it...) but it would be immensely helpful!!!!
I've accidentally shifted in tense and I also have accidentally shifted in POV 😂 (with 3rd and 1st POV, I accidentally shifted from 1st POV to 3rd POV)
I shift tenses so hard when I read first person present tense novels. Why must life be so hard?! (Oh snap, I just ?!'d!)
I could not stop doing this no matter how many times my teachers pointed it out 😅
I would love to see a video about shifts in tense!!
I also think it would be interesting if you could talk more about unintentional shifts in pov in third person limited/third person deep. Like, not necessarily knowing too much, but more accidentally writing from the wrong persons pov for a sentence or paragraph... i don't know if that makes any sense.
On the topic of shifting povs, do you have any tips on how to make sure that it's not confusing when you're shifting povs within the same chapter/scene?
I noticed early on in my first draft that I used the word "seemed" WAY too many times. Wonder what else is there that I haven't caught yet 🤔😅
I use it a lot too. The story is in first person POV so I wanted it to seem like the mc was confused, but now I feel like I'm the one who is confused.
it might be one of those things you can just cut out. Like instead of "it seemed red." you just write "it was red."
@@shieldgenerator7 Yeah I agree, I was just using it for a character's interpretation of another person's emotion which isn't always clear. There are better ways though.
@@jenna.livingston describe their facial expressions. like instead of "she seemed depressed." say "she smiled briefly at his joke, but her frown immediately returned."
@@shieldgenerator7 Yeah I agree that's better, it's one of those things I wrote down to look for once I finish my first draft. I'm just trying to finish it up first and then fix all those dumb mistakes haha. I just highlight them and move on for now!
I stopped reading a book recently because the author would have 5 characters in scene and I could NEVER tell who was talking at any given time. I just gave up eventually.
Ooooh that pisses me off so bad
Haha that's why I like to give characters different fonts. Like one is bold and another is italicized. I realize now that might be annoying to some people...shit
Dialogue tags are important
@@LamisonJamison we do tend to have an internal voice associated with different fonts and styles. For me personally, a bold font tends to be a booming voice, like a god speaking from on high. Italicized can be a bit more ethereal or an indicator of internal thoughts. I've used it for psychic conversations. There would be a different voice in our head for each font you used, but it would probably come across like a chat between Thor and Tinkerbell. lol. It's a pain to try and avoid the "he said, she said, they said" chain, and a lot of the time we end up having our characters fidget or pace just to change it up.
John leaned back in his chair and stared at her. "blah blah blah"
Sarah raised an eyebrow at him. "blah blah"
Filler actions to show a shift in who's speaking without resorting to "John said, said Sarah, he said." On the other hand, such actions can give our characters a little bit of life and motion, as opposed to them just sitting there staring at each other and talking without doing anything else. That could get unnerving really quick.
When I have multiple characters talking, I occasionally make them respond physically (like shifting or nodding for example) before having them speak. It's not the best option but I haven't been crucified yet so I stick with doing that.
Loved this! I definitely need to watch my adverbs. I just used the ProWritingAid software. The repeats report is going to come in so handy, I use 'you' way more than I thought in my blog posts!
This is really helpful. A friend of mine has almost read ever warrior cats book and she's kinda sad she's getting to the end, despite it still being continued. So I'm writing similar series for her to read in between official books being released. I checked one of the chapters to check if I did any of these and I noticed alot of repetition, I guess I have to practice more.
Please do a video on shifts in tense!! I always struggle with that :)
I don’t know who needs to read this but: One quirk I weened myself out of that I witness a lot of new writers doing is an abuse of the word “as”.
Which is to say:
“I will stop you!” John declared as he lifted his sword on high.
That in and of itself isn’t bad, but I used to abuse this conjoining of character actions way too often. I think because I thought it would make the scene flow better but instead it became repetitive. I’m very conscious of this now with other people’s writing and it seems like a quirk that slips through to publication so often I’m surprised it Isn’t mentioned. Once again, it’s not bad if you do this once in awhile, but in a couple of self published book I read, this was employed at least once per page.
Personally, I like to revise this inclination to be a dialogue tag at the start of a declaration and try to consolidate my words to be concise but effective:
John brandished his sword, “I will stop you.”
There. The reader gets the jist. They know who is talking. They envision their resolve. We move on the with scene without that hitch.
I'm so used to reading five year old writing help videos I got so confused all the comments were from a few hours ago. Then I realised this channel is active. I love the fact that you have so many videos to help with everything, Jenna!
Watching this with captions on, the number of times "shift in tense" was rendered "shift intense" is a good reason to do our own captions.
6:44 Yes please I'd love more examples of shifts in tense, and I think it would help those who are not native english speakers like me.
Love you, Jenna! Reading TSC now to get ready to be ready for TSS.
I remember in school, having to write a short story with the essay writing style. It was irritating, because I knew stories weren't written like that. I just didn't know why until today. Good info. You've been added to my helpful, Writing playlist.
"Whoever said: said is dead should be dead instead of said!"
I approve this message.
When you started saying ways school-taught writing conventions ruin writing, I got nervous you were going to say something's bad that I tell my high school students, but nope - everything you said made total sense! We have very similar grammatical and structural pet peeves. Doing my best to get them to write paragraphs based on when the subject matter progresses (instead of on some arbitrary sentence count) and to not mix up homophones.
Most people: talking about the video. Me: She said ‘Jif’ instead of ‘Gif’
@Fleur Garden just ignore the person who only wants attention.
@Fleur Garden What does the 'G' in gif stand for, though? ;)
@@JettMoonwing The G stands for graphics but the creator of gifs says it's pronounced jifs
@@laurie2574 The creator is trolling us, I'm convinced...
@Fleur Garden It wasn't to 'make it legit', it was to make it not look like I was genuinely asking the question.
I really struggle with switching tense midway; it’s like I can’t choose one. Please make a video about it!!
The word I over use is "Like" not in my writing but when I speak. My wife pointed out, telling me my dad does the same thing.
My brother does the same thing. He is a doctor and tends to overdescribe things. Or compare things often. I on the other hand am a rather selfconsious and not overly confident person. So i tend to use ugh, umm, well, hmm... a lot. Even when I am confident in what i am saying, or telling a fact. However, i have an uncanny ability to mimic others. So if i am in a long conversation with someone or with them for several days. I will start to change or even adopt some of there speech patterns when speaking to them. I even do that with phrases. For instance, if i am speaking with someone from say Texas I will start adopting southern phrases. Like "folks, ain't, shan't." Etc. Or "Swet as Apple pie". Not entirely sure why i do that last bit. I assume it is a trait i picked up to make me blend in better so i don't sound so foolish and lacking.*shrugs*.
Anyways, guess what I am trying to say, is that it is a neat trait that can tell you a lot about a person. Just things i have noticed over the years.
I love your presentation. It's delightful, informative, and amusing. Thank you.
Take a shot for every crutch word in your manuscript (please dont do this lol)
Tequila Tuesday, here I come!
Hahaha! I wouldn't last long
Every word is a crutch word, the whole manuscript depends on my overreliance on the English language. It's a habit I just can't seem to break.
Do shots of water and you'll be so hydrated
The paragraph part helped me realized something I have been doing in my writing, thanks.
“Ya big bag of beans.” This made my day lol.
Yes, please make a video of shifts in tense, I was so confused lol
Jenna: Homophones
Me: What??!??!... oh... I'm used to that other word
I dont have a crutch word but I do have a crutch phrase if that counts. I seem to keep using the phrase "almost as if". Ive had to rewrite so much because of it 😂
wait, using an exclamation mark and a question mark at the end of dialogue is incorrect? she called it an interrobang, but as far as i know the interrobang is its own punctuation mark that isnt really used, whereas an exclamation point + question mark in tandem are widely used and accepted. it has a slightly different function from either mark by itself
‽ and !?/?! are the same thing I believe
It's not considered professional punctuation. In screenplays, it won't be accepted. You choose either/or and the reader/actor deciphers based on context if it's a yell/question or not. :)
Please make a video about shifts in tense. It's something I have struggled with in the past and would like to be clearer on.
I would Love a Tense and Shift in tense video! I suck at paying attention
I'm so glad there are captions. Thank you very muuuuch.
Okay... I've NEVER read a book where I didn't feel I was reading a book... especially fiction, in fact only fiction... The only times I've NOT felt that I was reading a book is when reading history. Even reading something like Tolkien, King, Rowling, Grisham, Cussler, etc., all these fantastic authors that I profoundly love and cherish, I always feel like I am reading book. It is very-very difficult for a book to draw me in, to make me feel like I am 'there'. Fiction cannot immerse me anywhere near as deep as a good history book can.
To me, reading goes waaayy above and beyond "show, don't tell", etc. I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that what I read is fiction -- that instant de-coupling sets me off somehow. That isn't to say I don't enjoy many stories, but there is always this 'glass window' between myself and the story I am reading.
On the whole POV debacle, you missed multiple first-person perspectives in a book -- they are a thing. ;-)
Wow, this was EXTREMELY helpful. Thank you!
I was at one point a repeat offender when it came to tense shifts. Now that quirk has been completely eradicated from my writing. One down, god knows how many to go!
PLEASE MAKE A PART TWO! THIS IS GOLD!!
I've watched you so many times, I keep saying "But Jenna" in every day life situations now XD