Radiarc - All that I am
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- www.deviantart...
radiarc.bandca...
I was lost. The figure taunting, fighting...guiding me, if only I’d seen more clearly. Just as I felt I’d finally begun to piece everything together, she was just gone. Darkness. I remember darkness, but more akin to the eye of a storm encompassing existence, a steady calm with the promise of absolute wrath following. I walked onward, determined, but with every step came regret, until I fell to the ground instantly in the wake of a brilliant light. The figure appeared once more, illuminating the ground beneath as she approached me. I attempted to stand, but the strength I once counted on was gone. My failures, my flaws...I was nothing in the presence of everything. And yet, she spoke to me. "You can do it too, you know."
In spite of everything, I rose. Slowly, but as her words echoed through my mind, I felt a fire burning within. The surrounding darkness faded to ash, save for that which remained in my hand, blazing. I looked to my other hand, and it burned as well, but with light, and the figure smiled. As my gaze met hers, everything was clear. All that I am, all that I've done...everything. I am all that I am, past and present, but it does not define me. "The darkness will never leave you," she told me as she turned to face the distance, but she looked back. "It's called experience." Like an angel, she flew, and so did I.
Effortlessly, I soared with her, and she revealed the truth. The fields I once saw wave with colors and fractals now teemed with silhouettes, some familiar, others not. I witnessed far more than I can remember, but as we went on, comprehension extended beyond vision and became acceptance. She slowed her pace as we arrived at a rift, a grand abyss in a sea of memory. Her brilliance faded as she landed in the water, still and pure. There was nothing. I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes. I knew this was the beginning of the end, and the promise of absolute wrath would be fulfilled. There was no beauty. There was no liberty. There was only the familiar before me, and I was ready.
_________
I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, but I wanted to return at the right time, and in the right way. I've finally moved, mostly stopped drinking, and my life is actually pretty wonderful. I haven't felt depressed in so long, and although things aren't necessarily going amazingly, but I don't feel like I'm living in hell anymore. Despite everything, I truly feel happy to be alive, and I'm honestly in awe every time I realize all of the times I wanted it to end.
Emotion. I haven't struggled this hard to make something since Dream No More, but the second I heard the melody in my mind, I knew it had to be done. This took a few weeks to make, although most work was done in a couple days, I didn't want to compromise on anything; I wanted exactly what I felt, and nothing less. That isn't to say this doesn't have its shortcomings, but nothing I make will ever be perfect. This was intended as a sequel to Remember Me, and still acts as such, though much differently than I thought it would. TCB, a fellow pony musician, made a song titled "FOREVER IS NOTHING", and it completely changed my outlook on this portion of the story. It even inspired the beginning and end of this song, and for that, I'm very thankful. I just wanted something to resonate with, as I always do, and I'm happy to have found it again.
On the technical side, though, this song almost didn't happen. I've been operating on 32GB of RAM for a while, and it's worked out well, but I'm finally starting to push this computer to its limits again. I'm independently saving up for more RAM with higher clock speeds and likely a motherboard and processor later on down the line, but any money I receive from music is going directly into upgrading the computer. I'm probably going to get rid of patreon soon because I'd rather feel complete freedom in uploading as opposed to being soft-pinned to a monthly deadline, but I've written far too much already. It's 4 in the morning at the time of writing this, so I suppose I'll have to amend this sometime. Until then, thank you for listening to me. It's truly been an adventure.
For the rest of my work: radiarc.bandca...
And, if you're feeling generous: www.paypal.com...
I notice some newer faces questioning the pony, so I'd like to respond in the best way I'm able to. I've been part of this fandom for several years, and I'm no stranger to the arguments raised within regarding works as explicitly pony-inspired or not; for a long time, I was solely show-inspired, but it shifted over the years. The fandom works that I saw were no longer necessarily indicative of what I was originally intrigued by, but they were still images that resonated with me on some level, however deep.
That being said, this was a picture I've looked at for a long time, but only now did I really connect with it. I don't really care whether something is pony, furry, robotic, anything -- imagery is powerful, and honestly, a lot of times, what I draw from a picture transcends the character. It doesn't matter to me what anything "is", because all I've ever done is create interpretations of what I see and how I feel, and I've tried my hardest to get that across. I've made missteps in the past because I was frightened about whether or not people would "figure out" whether something was truly inspired by the show, but it makes no difference to me anymore, because it never should've.
I make what I make because of what I draw from what I see.
I'd like to believe it's a bit more clear that I'm far more liberal with what imagery I use nowadays, but I understand, oddly enough, this is attracting new attention.
This is nothing out of the ordinary.
I just liked the musicians. Fandom or not, I like that some are still putting out songs.
Good to see you are still going mate. Pony or no, your music is always a great listen.
Sounds like this would be perfect in Equestria at War, beautiful piece just to do things to
Whatever fate led me here, I'm happy it did. Glad to see you're doing better!
Fantastic
Really lovely, glad things are on the up :)
So good to have you back feeling alive again!
Wow, this song has... So many feelings. I'm glad you shared all of this with us... And the song is really really pretty too !
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Glad to see things are going better for you now. I've always been a fan of your music and this song is no exception.
Jeez i havent seen you in a minute bud. Hope your doing alright during all this craziness.
Just read the description. Im so glad life started to pick up a bit for you. I wanna say more but i honestly dont know what else to say besides "im happy for you".
I really love your pony music I, and you’re my inspiration as one artist.
My dreams and all that I am is thanks to your beautiful work, and some days I wish I could make things like you do. (And sorry for my bad English).
I am happy to hear you are finding your path forward for the better Radiarc! Life will put us all through curveballs such as the wretched times of late.
As for the track, I love it! It reflects all the emotions you depicted in the video synopsis. Good mixing, great instrument choices, sweet polyrhythmic cluster of beats, and a very powerful violin to play the best parts.
Awesome! Wish you the best my man!
Loving the voice play in the background! This sounds a lot like what you were doing four years ago, which I love. The violins are sweet.
Мужик ты молодец!
Truly amazing! So glad that your mind is in a better state aswell ♥️
Amazing as always
man it's great to hear you're better now radiarc
Wonderful song. Thank you so much for persevering and sharing your music and for that wonderful description! There is so much emotion in this song, but it's such a fantastic listen because of your ability to translate that into lovely progression and balance the power with so many delicate moments and fine touches. Here's to the continuing journey!
The music you bring is wonderful, thank you😍💋💯
So glad you could come back with something so powerful
Legit such a masterpiece
This sounds awesome!
A truly staggering and beautiful piece Radiarc i love it, the score was done ever so splendidly and the harmonies sounds just wonderful, a job well done also welcome back!!!
so surreal...
I wish you uploaded more
:3 love
a dope comment
A Doper Comment
Hi Radiarc,I've followed you since 2015,and I still love your works.I live in China,and many people in mainland China can't vist RUclips normally due to goverment's online censorship.But I really want to share your music to more peole,so would you mind me reupload your videos on a Chinese website called Bilibili?I will paste the link to your RUclips channel in the description.
Thank you for listening for so long!
As long as the channel isn't under my name and you aren't selling anything, I have no problem with you reuploading the videos.
@@Radiarc_ Tkank you for your answer!
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It's amazing, but why the pony though
I’m new here and wtf is going on does the my little pony have depression before or something?
И Он вернулся. И запели голоса, радуясь в единодушном порыве. Музыка, которую нёс Он с собой радовала души тех, кто изо дня в день готов ждать новых композиций. Таких прекрасных. Таких чистых. Таких успокаивающих. Возрадуемся же, братья!
gorgeously textured, beautifully organic, and soaringly melodic. amazing.
I read the description, really happy for you man, you deserve it
Rare is the occasion where my absolutely terrible sleep schedule actually keeps me up long enough for something good to come by by the time the sun rises. I'm exhilarated that this is one of those momentous occasions.
My man, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that you're in a better place, because depression fucking sucks, and my heart is reaching out for things to go even better (you can't hear it, but I'm pounding my wooden desk hard enough to potentially wake the neighbors). From how you've put it, this last (insert timeframe of horrible existences here) has been real tough, and I'm of the strong opinion that you were deserving of more than a little good to swing your way for a while.
And again with these absolutely stellar pieces, Radiarc. My non-musical mind never fails to be completely and utterly amazed at how you actually managed to create stuff like this. I'm definitely feeling some strong resolution vibes: maybe things aren't quite "better" or even really "worse" than they were before, but this song really sells that acceptance of it being whatever it has to be. It is what it is. We can only change so much, suffer so much, struggle and succeed so much. . . at the end of the day, we all should accept the progress we made, both forwards and backwards, and we should recognize when we've reached the end, reached the limit. And even if things didn't turn out like we'd planned, or even hoped, at least we're not struggling in vain any more, so we go ahead and see just what our efforts will reap.
Yet another irresistible piece to add to the ever-expanding collection of fantastic songs that I will always and forever be in the mood to listen to, many songs on that list belonging to you. Your style of music just had so much emotion behind it, I actually can't quite put it into words. If I could cry, I'm certain songs like this one would bring me to tears, so, for what it's worth: well done on this one. I hope you're happy with how it turned out, even if you think that it's not perfect.
Wb Radiarc!
Glad to see that it's a little better now
Thx for this piece 💜
Glad to read that you're in a much better state of mind. Hope you keep powering on and making this amazing music. Keep being awesome!
Wow, I sometimes wish my medium of expression was music, that was absolutely gorgeous and I can feel the emotion bleed through the melody. I know that black and washed out world, and the feeling of coming out the other side. I remember the only thing that kept me breathing somedays was the chance things could get better, and the catharsis when they did.
It was almost named Catharsis, but I felt this was more of an acceptance as opposed to letting go. It's a wonderful thing to have something to look forward to, even if it isn't clear.
Welcome back, I'm glad you're feeling better! The song is great (as always
I'm so happy things are going better for you!. Gorgeous song too.
This one is so emotional and so professionally mixed. Wonderful.
The return of the king
It's good to hear you're doing alright. Love your work.
I'm glad things are going better for you! & Great job no longer being a heavy drinker!
Return of the king
I am elated to hear you are feeling better, and am absolutely thrilled to hear your music! Depression is not an easy beast to beat, so it goes to show how much of a warrior you became to come out on top. Finding purpose provides a euphoria hard to explain, but will carry you through the inevitable storms you will encounter on any peril filled journey. Stay resilient and keep that spark alight!
👍
Like it. Well mixed
Welcome back Radiarc
Great song, as always. Seeing your mental health recovery has made me so happy, especially having followed your work in the past and reading (and hearing) about what a dark place you were living in. I'm really happy for you and just wanted to thank you for all the amazing music over the years, during both your low and high points. (Also I like the little "Crux" reference at 2:30!)
I'm always happy when people notice that kind of stuff! I try to only do it when I feel it's relevant, (this song is the lead into Crux), but it's fun to know that I've done it in so many different places that it could be a while before they're all found.
Powerful.
Man! You returned! And not just that but with a really good music! Thank you many times, we all like what you are doing. Keep at it! All the best!
I’m always thrilled to find out someone who’s work I love is in a better place! Very happy for you and the music is great as always!
Beautiful! Your music is amazing, I don't know how you do it man, you never miss
That's beautiful. Long term fans, more recent fans. We're all happy for you. I used to play your old works, in particular, Lyrish, on blast to a few friends who appreciate the style. You've got people out there. Fans. Never forget that there's someone out there rooting for you and we're proud of you
Well, that settles it -- Lyrish II will happen this year, mark my words. It's always wonderful to know there are people out there who still listen to my older work, but that one in particular keeps getting mentioned, and I think I could use a good Celtic stretch.
This is awesome track. Really good to hear that you are doing better too /)
Wonderful. I'm glad you're doing better.
Has the raw quality and energy of something like Journey and Ori OSTs combined but completely stands out from them with its unique hybrid/experimental nature akin only to your music. This was really a journey from start to finish, man, I'm amazed... I'm also glad that you're doing better now, this piece shows that in a way, it feels hopeful, determined, collected, not only in the grand and choral melodies but in the small moments too, like when the slow breaks are keeping the rhythm steady, even while fast and chaotic breaks are trying to interrupt them. All these moments have some sort of... harmony, maturity, wisdom to them, at least in my mind at 4 am. And yeah, they do fit the story pretty well :)
I just really love your type of music. Will fail to explain it professionally but it's really fascinating to my ear and has strong emotions laid into different sorts of instruments, especially the strings and the percussion. Also, not surprised that TCB had somewhat of an influence, I find that you guys are both amazing for some similar reasons: you both are not afraid to experiment, have emotion first and music rules second, and both of you are excellent at producing your own particular kind of thing. Just hoping that, after some time, people within the community start recognizing it, but for now, I'm simply glad for all you've done for yourself and for us as a composer up to this point :]
Amazing, this song is beautiful :)
Listening while reading the description is the best thing in the world.
Really glad to hear you're doing better.
Ah yes, now I remembered why I'm subscribed. Great work!
Awesome music radi!!!!
This is beautiful. Really liked it.
отлично! как и всегда)
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Love your works wish more people know you