10 Things That Crush a Narcissist's Ego
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- Опубликовано: 25 июл 2024
- Narcissists crave validation, control, and special treatment. But there are certain things that can severely wound their fragile ego. From indifference to confrontation, I'm going to share with you the top 10 triggers that deeply hurt narcissists. Discover how to protect yourself by understanding their insecurities and vulnerabilities, without resorting to manipulation or abuse. Learn to set boundaries and seek professional support to preserve your well-being when dealing with narcissistic individuals.
- Timecodes -
0:00 Intro
0:41 The Silent Weapon That Crushes Their Fragile Ego
1:43 Negative Feedback: The Truth That Stings Their Hollow Self-Esteem
2:24 Envy
3:30 Praise Deprivation
4:10 Unveiling the Mask of Grandiosity
5:18 Unmet Expectations: Shattering Their Delusions of Entitlement
6:08 When You Break Free and Reclaim Your Power from Their Control
7:19 Defying the Narcissist's False Reality
8:24 Dethroning the Narcissist's Perceived Superiority
8:55 The Ultimate Blow to Their Fragile Ego
9:52 Why You Need to Understand Narcissistic Abuse
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Author, and Life Coach with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on RUclips are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach without revealing confidential information.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your emergency services.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism #npd #narcissistic #femalenarcissist
your indifference; giving them negative feedback; being outshined by someone else’s success; lack of praise for their achievements; confronting them about their insecurities; when you don’t meet their expectations; when they realize they can’t control you; when you challenge their opinion; when they lose special privileges; rejection
Yeah, but those behaviors could hurt anyone, narcissist or not. Those are pretty mean things to do to someone regardless of their personality type.
Most, if not all of those things listed could hurt anyone if done to them. That’s more like a list of how to be unloving to people in general.
Bingo
My coworker checks all of the boxes. 😢
Spot on 🎉
10 things that crush the narcissist's ego
1-your indifference. narcs thrive on attention.
2-giving them negative feedback. it threatens their inflated self image.
3-being outshined by someone's success.
4-giving lack of praise for minor things. they will feel upset about not being admired.
5-confronting a narcissist their insecurities.
6-when you don't meet their ever-changing expectations.
7-when they can't control or manipulate you.
8-when you challenge their authority and prove them wrong.
9-when they lose special privileges.
10-experiencing rejection or abandonment.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
I did all of this and got reverse discarded after 25 yrs. The relationship really is untenable.
Took me 1 year to plan the great escape 🙏💯🙏💯love peace and happiness
Thank You!
I guess I have this “gifting” down to a “T”….
Narcissism is a spectrum. Annoying when you claim it is 10 things only. Very superficial.
Moving on and never paying them any mind, ever again.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
0 contact. no contact = no control.
"not talking to you for days for reasons that don't match the situation at all"
This one especially resonates.
I’m going through that now why do they do this ?
The Narcissist: 1) All I do is amazing, 2) My pain hurts more than others, 3) I deserve everything because I simply exist in my perfection/superior state, 4) I have the right to to feel down sometimes. I am human... A sad existence that affects negatively everyone around.
That just sounds like anyone. I don't understand? Shouldn't everybody feel that they are amazing and that their pain matters and they are important and to feel down sometimes. Are you just attacking everyone for not acting like machines who constantly serve others?
exhausting. they're everwhere
We're obviously not alone..
Stand strong my friend
Eye love you
ruclips.net/video/5E8_s0UExRU/видео.htmlsi=ka5X2ASLLkz53urd
They aren't. There is a current epidemic of misdiagnosis. I guess if you want to make a valid claim of this one could point to social media/onlyfans creating it, though I'd say it's more economically driven and not a true representation of these individuals' character behind closed doors.
Nobody can ever meet a Narcissist expectations. My Mom is a psychopathic Narcissist and have done numerous illegal horrific things yet has never been caught for what she has done. It took me years to educate myself, have been in therapy on and off for years from all the abuse, learning about this, learning to cope with all the trauma and so forth. Thank you for your video. Educating myself has helped me so so much. I got so use to being blamed and abused I still catch myself blaming myself for my Mom’s behavior.
Controlling people are just evil. That's all I have to say.
Your right it's evil.
Truthfully, I don't care what hurts them. I care about protecting myself from them. To do that, I educate myself. Nothing else is necessary.
Absolutely! Knowledge is power!
Excellent video! As a child I didn't like or understand my mother's silent treatments. Now that I know what she's doing, I consider her silent treatments a nice vacation from her usual baiting, manipulating and criticism. 😊
When I first met her she was continually ending things, any petty disagreement, we were over. All part of the manipulation until you agree they're always right. 🤯
I kept hearing the narc say " do i need to find your replacement....." foreshadowing on their part, life saving on my part :)
@deb2319 she'd say to me "are you going to do this or do I need to find a man that will".
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns That is what they always do, i am hurting se deep from NARC that my head is spinning
@toysandmore1368 it's awful isn't it, but it does get easier. These people just use us, they never really love us. We're better off without them, cos you can guarantee they'll be tormenting the person who's currently trying to help them.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns
What if my gf tells me she’s gonna sleep with someone else tomorrow night unless I come to hers tonight?
(This happened last week)
It’s very important to recognise and control a desire to ‘payback’ in oneself after being in a friendship with a narcissist.
The reason that I've stayed in my " relationship " is largely because I'm elderly and alone apart from having some grown up grandsons living hundreds of miles away. I walked away from her emotional abuse numerous times but always returned partly for having still feelings for her, partly feeling sorry for her and partly hoping things could get better. We've only been back together a month but nothing really changes. I changed by stopping calling her out on her dismissive, devaluing ways. I haven't as yet walked away this time. Trying to resolve things by talking only created more problems. I was blamed for everything plus got the passive aggression/ silent treatment etc. Recently I looked after her house and dog while she went on holiday with her family. She left the house with no heating on and no basic provisions in the fridge so I went shopping for them and boiled kettles for hot water to do the dishes and wash . She never text or rang for 4 days even to say she'd arrived and on the 5th day rang asking why I hadn't replied to the text she says she sent on day 1 ( there was no text! ) plus she could have rung me anyway. She explained the gas fire is not working and where the emersion heater controls are ( buried under clutter in the cupboard) I said nothing. Then last week I helped get her garden nice spent days at various jobs and was allowed to even stop over ( she usually complains I wake too early as she's not a morning person)
Her family can stay anytime and her elderly brother often stays in the spare ) Yesterday she said her sister and brother in law are visiting today but I'm not invited over, she said she'll see me tomorrow. I guess she wants to show off her nice garden and all the work SHE'S done. She really doesn't like them knowing I'm actually kind to her. I again said nothing critical . Normally I'd have told her exactly where to go and then spent another month or two apart . I'd decided to take the Attitude of " take what's best and ignore the rest" but the best is quite minimal and the rest is crushing my self esteem and dignity . Being Mr.nice guy isn't working. I partly don't even enjoy her company these days and am better off alone without the drama and mind games and constant jobs she needs doing and the rewards like being ignored. I'm a fit healthy 70 year old but my future seems to be as a handyman/ carer for someone who really has no genuine interest in me as a person. I need help or a good kick.
2:58 Positive remarks about another, triggers a negative comparison.
Spot
On
Every
Single
Time.
Thanks for this !!
Thank you!
Absolutely. It baffles me when a cousin shared that her mom was so insecure and comparing when she shared the good fortune of our childhood neighbors when she visited. I was like, "no she doesn't?" They can hear good news from other people without comparing
And they will never get over anything because they can't internalize their emotions it could be 10 years ago but it happened yesterday for them they can never truly move on or grow from any experience imagine living in that frame of thought for the rest of your life no wonder they're so angry and so bitter and so miserable all the time
I have been in recovery for four-years. Your videos are valued and appreciated. Your reminders and insight help me keep a healthy perspective when I start doubting myself or my logic. Thank you.
The other night me and my girlfriend were talking about a video I sent to her to try and “effectively communicate” The tone her voice during our conversation was getting elevated. I very calmly was telling her to “calm down” and “relax” when she went into a rage screaming at the top of her lungs that she’s calm and to stop saying her f*ucking name like that. I simply hung up the phone and blocked her. I will no longer be disrespected and have my concerns minimized all the while maximizing hers. I am done and I’m never calling her again. No contact
Sounds a bit like you were invalidating her. Telling someone to calm down or relax when they are upset rarely does that. It just comes off condescending
Yikes
Until you need her.
@@healing344 I understand how it can sound that way to you. My reasoning for telling her to calm down was not about invalidating her at all. Are conversation turning into triangulation like it always does. I’ll try to have a constructive conversation with her….No cursing. Calm tone, nothing insulting. Just simply trying to have a mature conversation and express my concerns. And before you know it. She’s pissed! And receives constructive criticism as an attack to her personally….smh. Before you know it, I’m apologizing.
@@chefscj3082 I stuck with a person like that. She arranged a brutal betrayal and discard for me as revenge and to try to take away my peace. That's how it ends if you stay - in some bad way. Don't look back.
They’re running from the truth of themselves being trash. I don’t like to describe anything as trash but narcs are trash
i’m so glad those days are over . i so wish i had heard this stuff 40 years ago .. Lise , you are helping so many .. God Bless you Girl 👧🏻 you kids … listen to this Lady. (kids meaning 50 and younger )😎
Absolutely I wish I knew all this many many years ago when my ex-wife was given divorce papers she was an absolute shock the reason why she was so shocked was that I gave her three months to make an effort to fix the relationship she was on the phone screaming at me I had two more days that was how little that woman thought of me she was going to spend 10 minutes with me and that was it everything was going to be fine
@@frankbujans5901 hang on man … here’s to better days ahead 🙏🏼
You go deeper here in a way that really resonates to answer why I am never getting fairness with others especially when I complain! Thank you for the insightful details that are necessary when dealing with narcissists in ways other than just leaving. You can't just leave every situation in life where narcs raise their ugly head.... and I don't intend to do that where they reside in institutional structures raising havoc.
Lise, your videos have helped me so much the past 2 years!! I’ve moved on from my narcissistic spouse after 25 years. Life is so much better now.
Your videos have been
invaluable to me. I've joined today. 62 years
with a family covert
narc. It has effected
my life very much. I
set up my boundaries thanks to you & others
plus SW I am now so
aware. Connecting the
dots has enlightened
me. Thanks so much.
Well I find them valuable. And I am sure many others find them valuable. Next time you call someone else's work "invaluable," think about this... my mother taught me that if you don't have something nice to say, say nothing at all.
I think this is my favourite video on the topic I’ve watched to date. It is so incredibly validating hearing all of the things that truly make my abuser mad and upset and spiral, and knowing that at every step of me reclaiming my space and boundaries and peace, I was taking the right actions to do right by me, and now I can revel in the satisfaction that it certainly upset them to their very core. So proud of staying strong and doing the work to heal. This makes me feel so empowered about my progress, instead of scared of whether or not they will try to come back.
Very solid list. And I do want to add we have a responsibility to emphasize, in each video like this, single traits do not confirm someone is a narcissist. For instance, a lot of people have a hard time dealing with negative feedback or being confronted by indifference. People matter and need to feel loved. A core need. So a (few) isolated trait(s) like poorly dealing with indifference or negative feedback is not a confirmation someone is a narcissist. It's a combination of multiple behavioral traits and behaviors.
Miles... agreed and these traits need to be present over a long, long period of time. The behavior will also be illogical and the resulting emotional response is childish.
29 years of chaos and 1 year of learning about why. All the pieces fell into place and I am now moving on. Your words here are perfect timing. Thank you.
Good Luck!!!
I told my ex Narc in a voice note that she has faults and isn't perfect like everyone else as we're all human. She immediately blocked me and calls and texts from anonymous phone numbers came to a halt.
Typical
you are one lucky dude
@@marcfilion She will probably be back in a few months.
Thank you Lise Leblanc! I also look into the Bible. 2 Timothy 3:1-17..
Described my ex to a T. She displayed all 10. Set boundaries, protect your peace and if you share a child, block out any petty noise, be the best parent you can be by giving your child time and love.
Cheers!
Each one of your videos is a gem. I can’t thank you enough. Everything you said in the Phil video is bang on. Am dumbstruck how you can be so so accurate.
The negativity when you're alone is so draining. Then, when they get out in public they are charismatic which makes you feel like they despise you.
I will say, i never gave silent treatment in previous relationships but when youre nade ro feel like your feelings dont matter...you begin to shutdown especially when they stonewall you in disagreements.
So if you experience some of these 10 things...just know, its not you amd you are not a narcissist. I remember watching videos after the discard and i was like omg, im the narc which is what she was accusing me of being
Man the negative feedback thing is so true. No matter how much you sugar-coat something, they take it the wrong way and blow it way out of proportion. My ex asked me how a dress looked on her. She had gained some weight (I didn't care she was still beautiful to me) and the dress wasn't the most flattering. I knew how sensitive she was to her looks so I said, "that dress doesn't highlight your best qualities"... and I might as well had called her fat the way she blew up.
She makes many valid points. The problem is without a diagnosis from a licensed professional many that watch these types of shorts or videos qualify their significant other as one.
Many times a narc is projecting and calling their spouse a narc jnstee re as of realizing that they are.
The list in the video describes many normal things that are found and needed in a healthy relationship and some that are straight out emotional abuse.
1) the silent treatment = emotional abuse. Trying to crush someone’s ego would be reactive emotional abuse. A therapist wouldn’t advise against this, but instead would give alternatives to this in a healthy, productive manner. On the opposite end of the ego lies the spirit. A healthy spirit that receives the silent treatment is emotional abuse. IMO keeping a silent treatment to an ego or spirit is bad advice.
2) negative feedback - healthy Relationships need this kind of discussion given in a healthy way. To believe that any negative feedback means that your significant other is a narcissist is misleading. How are you giving it? In a healthy way or an unhealthy way. There is a difference.
3) praised deprivation goes along with negative feedback or positive feedback both need to coexist in a healthy state in a healthy relationship. Healthy communication of needs and desires and expectations are key.
4) Needs, wants, desires and entitlements. One partner believes they need or want or desire may be considered an entitlement to the other if they are selfish.
5) draw a clear line between what is power and control vs.boundaries, balance and cooperation.
There is so much of this type of “Narc Talk & Advice” being put on social media platforms that it is hard to determine what is what with each relationship. I see this as hurtful to society as it is helpful. Having your relationship evaluated and counseled by a licensed therapist where the couple can have proper diagnosis with therapy is paramount. Where many go to a channel like this and create more of a mess by having a do it yourself diagnoses and unguided therapy. PLEASE go to a therapist’s in person to discuss the state of your relationship.
This type of “information”should be alarming to all therapist in the active professional field. It leaves so much to be misrepresented and misunderstood.
Dr. Phil gives warnings to this type of self help and always urges those to seek out therapy from a licensed professional in person.
Thanks for your superb help..
Great video!
Thankyou so much ma'am. This video helped me a lot to know about my narcissist friend. I choose to move on from my friend instead of taking revenge.
I really like your clear explanations and examples :)
10:00 Love this. I don't wish my narc ex to suffer. She was already very suicidal and most of these people are.
They have a solution ...but they don t use it. Better inflict pain to others ...no?
Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOOOOUU!!!
Spot on in every way. You have a new subscriber 🎉
You've helped me loads thanks 🙏👍
Thank you❤😊
Thank you.
Wow. Makes so much sense
Thank you for all the information. It really helped me understand what I went through.
Me too ❤
Thank you
Excellent, as usual.
Thank you so much!
This was really helpful. Thank you for the disclaimer at the end. I feel like it's easy for me to reject the people who have hurt me to the point of being callous in my mind. I don't want or need to do that. They're human. Their needs are too big for me and inappropriate because I'm not their parents who weren't able to meet their needs in the past. But that doesn't mean they don't deserve compassion. I'll try to keep my mind compassionate even during my permanent decision to go no contact ❤
*_Finding out they're the big star of an upcoming book on Narcissists and ALL the damage they do with them in the leading role doesn't exactly "stroke" that ego._** But like DRAGNET "The Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent." hahaha*
9:52 - Most important message right here. Even a narcissist is a human just like anyone else and doesn't deserve to be purposefully mistreated or manipulated.
Thank you for saying this.
But what about those on the receiving end?
@@toysandmore1368 I mean, isn't this entire channel already dedicated to helping those on the receiving end? The best advice from watching about a hundred of these is boundaries and learning to walk away.
Narcissists were often abused by narcissistic people themselves. Don't become like them in reacting to them or you risk becoming them. Its a plague.
I read your post, and you make a valid point. It's something that I didn't understand in the moment but now I do...wish I would of learned that sooner. Everyone deserves respect no matter how good or bad.
@@clintonnagy1662 I would say respect yourself first and foremost. And in the context of dealing with most everyone else plus potentially toxic individuals, it should be earned. What everyone deserves is decency.
Tks Lise
you are the best!
I really appreciate your pointing out the black or white (people are all good/bad, all for them/against them) aka "Splitting" in NPD, which I was taught eons ago only with Borderline PD. My someday-soon ex-wife of 38 years never fit BPD, and only through learning here about Communal and Covert Narcissism learned the myriad of broken relationships in her /our life like a tornado path from Splitting. Finally, when I got hurt and couldn't fulfill her idealized future dreams and "ruined (her) life" - she then discarded me.
So, you got blamed for ruining her life also??? Me too....classic narc guilt trip. 😅
This is soooo 🎯 🤯
When ur with someone else or when you don’t care about them anymore
You are the best, the number 1! (this is probably the way a narcissist would put it)
Nice 🤙🏾
the best way to trigger a narc is to leave them, before they dump you, and never look back. 0 contact.
Diggin the hair!
Good advice.
Once we understand that they cannot help what they are, we lose the desire for revenge.
Our anger is rooted in the delusion that they have the ability to change.
Unfortunately, this does not appear to be true.
Corrective punishment by society as a whole, aimed at the bad behavior, however, may help to protect innocents from them in the future.
Is all well and true, i dont feel any rage towards my NARC, I think its a feeling of being used and tossed away like S***, they dont change, and all i tried and wasted many months, but the irony is as i am empath i feel hard done. Such as life
6:58 Exacrly this - don’t give in! My ex was a narcissist, and she always expected me to comply by being “gentle” when we argue and to never talk back at her and just let her vent/be angry and throw tantrums without saying anything. Eventually, I pushed back, and outright refused to be “gentle”.
A few weeks passed, and the discard eventually happened. And to be honest, it feels so liberating! Good riddance!! 👋
Narcissists already constantly hurt themselves. Just stay away from them.
I can see my narcisstic traits from the dissolve of my last relationship and I ended up hurting myself unintentionally with alot of mistakes from being uneducated in narcism. Now I have to deal with wreckage of my words and actions. I'm sorry to the
ones I hurt in the process. I'm slowly making changes to be better.
@@clintonnagy1662 Yes! People who become utterly narcissistic are often mistreated by narcissists themselves. Narcissists project their bad behaviors onto the people they manipulate. Its a terrible infectious plague. Break the cycle! Recover your true self and discard the poison they put in your mind. I applaud your efforts and I'm rooting for you to come through intact. Stay connected to your heart and listen to it. Narcissists have lost their connection with their own hearts because they don't want to feel pain. It might hurt, but if you stay connected with your heart, you can free yourself from narcissistic influence. 💪 ❤️
@@clintonnagy1662 I support your efforts to free yourself from narcissistic influence! 💪❤️
Spot on !!!!!!! I’ve read hundreds of two bob excuses people make on a narcs behalf . Just bolt away from them , there’s no way back . Break free from the self hate and go go go 😊
These people are pathetic. Lisa your videos are the most accurate. I can’t believe I fell for those chick. I wasn’t even attracted to her. I felt bad for her and tried to save her.
I laughed heartily at my narc husband who chose to mock my tears - but he looked utterly ridiculous doing it, I had to laugh 😂. He’s been keeping distant from me for days, ah peace and quiet!
Fantastic shirt Lise! You have both class and style. Thank you for the message!!
The woman that attempted to pretend to love me and then destroy my life has a very disturbing history that I uncovered . She literally moved from town to town in our central NJ county wreaking havoc along her path. What struck me as unbelievable was that if you follow her path she went directly west from town to the next town . She would stay in each town for 2 to 3 years and then move on to the next
...I hate to use this word because its one of the most abused words in modern english but the only description I can use to describe her as I now look back to all of the hurtful , calculated and heartless things that she did..the word ' creepy ' is the only appropriate adjective ....
This kind of relationship will leave you with nothing. Best thing to do is go
I love your descriptions of the typical narcissist.
I had two (!) as parents, it took me years to realize and to somewhat heal. It is still a daily fight. Unbelievable but true. It gets even worse when they take cocaine, something they cannot do without. Probably the dopamine, true old maniacs. Without yoga and meditation I wouldn't live any more. By the way, after all I do think love in a Christian sense is simply wrong. Self-control and discernment is it, at least for me.
My mom has been giving me the silent treatment for the better part of the last 5 years with spurts of her weird attempts at getting a reaction out of me.
I live 2,000+ miles away and just don’t want to deal with it anymore 🙃
Blocking them for good!!!
Basically any communication that is not a*s licking probably will hurt narc's fragile ego
This hairstyle suits you a lot, thank you again for another great video
So you're saying all our hairstyles are rubbish in comparison?
🤪
@@SpotlessLeopard Just yours.
@@heinzii7834 So by wearing that cap, are you saying the top of your head is more important than mine?
@@SpotlessLeopard No. But yes by proxy. My hat hair is still better looking than yours.
@@heinzii7834 It's not even real hair.
We all know you paid a cow to have the black patches off it's back.
Now that cow is dead of hypethermia.
I hope you're proud.
I thought the black mic and slit in your shirt was a hammer 😅
Yes, one of the worse things I have done as a mother in law is not commenting on her Facebook posts. I would like them sometimes, but didn't say anything. Needless to say the posts were always bragging in nature. I got a ranting text from my son about it. He isn't on Facebook, but obviously was told how awful I was for not commenting.
Needs more context
@@spilledit ? I am not sure what you mean? 🤔
Wish I knew this during the 25 yrs of my marriage to a narc. I would have had stronger boundaries and emerged from the relationship less traumatized. Yes, the narc hates being discarded or reverse doscarded either. He moved on with new supply, a former divorce client he'd made very rich on alimony but not before rattling me to my core. And proceeded to announce on SM to his huge fan following that he had taken tough decision regarding his domestic issues, giving the impression that he'd broken up with me, 2nd wife, 2 kids in 25 yrs. Nobody has bought his lies and he has suffered huge narcissistic injury. I'm really bracing myself for the divorce or hoover, when it happens
Do you really think he would have cared about your boundaries?
@@Mockduck2020you are right, he wouldn't have respected my boundaries. The marriage lasted only because I did not have strong boundaries and put up with his terrible behavior, emotional, financial and sexual abuse. He was caught soliciting for sex on his mobile, and I moved out of the bedroom instead. He waited a decade before leaving, only after he found new supply. Before that he made a last ditch effort to get me to supply him sex. I had long ceased to assure him safety in the relationship
Yep..I made the cardinal mistake of challenging her in public... Oh that night I was immediately discarded
This explains why they omve on so fast to.the nexts person
After watching your videos on people who have NPD...I just realized my ex- GF suffers from this disorder. I wonder how people are with NPD when their EX doesn't give them any attention anymore. She still calls me to this day. Not to say that she misses me or to say hi how are you *BUT* to ask me for something. Sad.
Being outshined by someone else isn’t just triggering for narcissists. Anyone can feel triggered by someone elses success
Shaun...there is a difference between a little envy of someone else's success and attacking their character in order to elevate your own low self esteem.
yeah there’s a little niggle of jealousy, a little “grr” somewhere in our mind.. but it’s just not as extreme. I think personality disorders are distortions of normal responses.. everything with them is exaggerated and out of whack, but a normal person could experience a similar reaction at times (esp if they were very unhappy for example)
Omg Your hair 😍😍😍😍😍😍
Your hair is looking good. 🔥🔥 Thank you for the invaluable information. It's a emotional war.
Well
It doesn’t look bad but ya gotta admit it’s a Karen
When in Rome…
Why do people comment on her hair ?
When a broken/damaged/immature/abusive man
is using a woman, he’ll show these signs:
- he avoids truly deep and emotionally vulnerable conversations
- he's inconsistent
- he only contacts you when he needs/wants something
- he doesn't REALLY include you in his life (it's all an illusion/fantasy)
- he avoids commitments/labels
- he makes you feel guilty/crazy/needy
- he doesn't truly support you or your goals (in any real and tangible way)
So,
If he pulls away, give him a push...
Let him go!
When he pulls away,
he can stay away,
it is over!
It is complete.
1) Never EVER be afraid of losing him. You are the Divine feminine. Let him fear losing YOU!
2) Have an EXTREMELY low tolerance for ANY bad behavior...
AVOIDANT or NARCISSIST?
Let's be real.
It's irrelevant.
They both behave the same.
The damage they do is the same.
The trauma they cause is the same.
FUCK THEM BOTH.
So,
When there’s a disagreement,
an argument, a conflict, some bullying,
disrespect, boundaries being crossed etc...
someone will inevitably,
most likely,
be disappointed in me...
So,
I engage in each and every situation
in a way that ensures,
that the person disappointed in me,
NEVER ENDS UP BEING ME!
I aim to never repress,
never suppress.
I aim to never lose parts of myself.
Radical honesty only:
100% of the time.
Always,
all ways.
AND REMEMBER:
to test if ANY relationship is healthy -
you've got to judge the relationship on its bad days,
not on its good ones!
Now it all makes sense, my ex covert narc used to make some snide remarks about my parents succes, she used to try to make me feel horrible because my parents worked hard for what they had and gave me a great childhood. Yes i admit they did spoil me but i didnt turn out rotten, id rather give someone the last dollar i have than see someone hurt, sad, not able to eat, or whatever..one day on a phone call she tried humiliating me in front of if her bestie just because my parents worked hard and gave me a good childhood..yes I had a housekeeper, nanny, a chauffer, I went to a private school, etc but I grew up and got into a culinary arts school and she saw all that my parents did for me as somehow being bad and boy did she rip into me, her bestie had to tell her to stop now..now her bestie has kicked her out of her life and she has neither one, if us..funny thing is im now dating the woman ive loved for 11 years and my ex, if us..funny thing is im now dating the woman I've loved for 11 years and my ex has a huge crush in her..I didn't k know they were friends until after me and the demon got together.I wonder what kinda narc injury that's gonna cause when she finds out after all her snooping and stalking..i h8 my ex and i dont normally say i h8 ppl but she sent me to the mental hospital and all for what? Her own fcking fragile ego...
My awful disgusting abusive ex would literally tell me sexual details about her exes even though she knew I hated her talking about that.
She used to tell me how her best date was when she worked on a cruise ship and they stopped in Greece and some random guy who worked there knocked on her cabin door and asked her out and that was her best date ever.
She cheated on me constantly. Making out that it was my fault because I "wasn't there for her".
She gets drunk and drugged up even when her kids are in the house and I used to have to clean up her mess without her even batting an eyelid and wouldn't speak to me after each occasion.
She used to tell me how she wants someone who worships her (even though I did) and used to constantly tell me how she needs someone better and yet all the while after blocking me constantly and disappearing for days, she would always get back in touch with me after doing drugs and sleeping with and dating other men.
Every time I tried to talk to her about her issues, she wouldn't want to address them or admit anything.
After months of humiliation and abuse, she discarded me....or.....maybe it was actually me that got rid of her after I told her in a 43 page letter that I was done, she immediately moved on and obviously had to keep telling me....
Good riddance Stephanie, you were abusive. You were disgusting with me.
Oof yes. That was mine but I kept going back for the sex.
I’ve finally walked away from it.
Hi, I'm sorry that happened...but I can't help to think that maybe you also need to learn how to draw boundaries and be consistent with your own boundaries? I'm not sure what your situation is with them that you let her come back to you even after knowing that the first time? The first person who can protect you--is you.
@@Moist._Robot first couple of months was perfect. She was all over me. Telling me and my friends that she was going to marry me. And our sex was absolutely perfect. I guess sex is a hook too.
@@cicinomaden I agree with you. She used to do drugs and sleep with her neighbour and she did so during when we were together. When I first found out that she used to sleep with him before we had met, it made me a bit uncomfortable because I live fifty miles away from her. She said they were only friends now and she used to go round to his when I wasn't there. When I told her I was uncomfortable she accused me of being controlling. I hated him because he was intentionally sabotaging us too. I couldn't stand him and she knew it.
She "separated" from me once and sent me pictures of her getting ready for a date with another ex. Ended up having sex with him.
Then one day she came back. I took her (please don't ask why I did. I shouldn't have. I know). She said I was the one and that she knows this now. She picked me up. We had an absolutely PERFECT day. Then about 1am, she told me that she had slept with her neighbour too.
I literally walked out of her house. In the middle of nowhere. I didn't know where I was. It was dark. I was crying uncontrollably. I just walked and walked. We'd had drinks during the night and she came out looking for me in her car. Dragged me back in after she found me knelt in the road with my face in my hands. I was crying so bad that I felt like I was hyperventilating. She then says if she loses her license, it would be my fault. I screamed she was a monster and to stop the car. Which she eventually did. I go out. And I ran. Into the darkness. Fifty miles from home. No way of getting home.
I still took her back after that. A few weeks later.
I don't think it was a boundary thing. I think I have such low self worth and esteem and genuinely believe that nobody is interested in me. And in general, women aren't. And she was so loving and caring at first. Beautiful and sexy too. Hence why I think I can't do better.
I'm sorry for the long message. I guess it's me trying to get stuff out still. As a friend said to me, I'd be dead by now if I remained with her and it was months ago when it ended. I even had to get the police involved which she did first when I'd permanently got rid of her! I had to show them and tell them a lot of things before they believed me and realised that it was her that was harassing me. She's not allowed to get in touch with me again or they'll arrest her. However she had done twice and after telling them, they just warned her. Nothing else.
There's a lot of bad moms out there. But no women will address that.
Maybe you can consider the next title, "How to manage a narcissist" :)
Question, Bipolar and BDP and NPD all have similar symptoms, my wife was diagnosed Bipolar in the late 80's, is it possible she could have been missed diagnose, because I've been reading the book, Stop being a Caretaker, and She seems to check the boxes more for BDP NPD tha. She eved did Bipolar, we've been married 20 years, and I don't even know who she is anymore, never know what im gonna get when she wakes up mist mornings, thanks in advance
I will add another one. When you refuse to see them as a pure victim. When you listen to one of their sob stories and refuse to agree that they are completely blameless or powerless. For instance, a narc bully I recently walked away from told a story about how her daughters orthopedic specialist deliberately hurt her daughter at a recent appointment by being too rough while moving the knee. She spun a tale about this woman being rough, cruel, and dismissive of her objections to such treatment.
Now, taking all this at face value (because I realize theres a good chance this was all BS because even her husband sitting next to me seemed surprised as if this was the first time he heard it too)
I declared that was the last time I would be taking my kid to that doctor and the whole office would have overheard me giving that quack a piece of my mind. Because Im a momma bear and nobody gets away with treating my kids like that.
I believe she was expecting quite a different reaction...comiserating instead of holding her accountable to her duty as a mom to defend and protect her child.
But I figured out later that the N is just a mid level bully and takes her frustrations out on those she sees as a weaker target when she cant out bully a bigger bully, such as a learned doctor, a person in "authority" over her.
Thats another thing about narcs. They grow up in toxic families that twist up what authority figures are about and confuse them into thinking they have authority over their peers and equals in life....when they dont.😂
Would you please active the Auto English subs? :)
Indifferent towards them
Hmmm. The epilogue is interesting. Is gaining knowledge about the pain that the affliction that NPD causes the sufferer and using that, not only to insulate oneself from becoming a victim of that affliction, but also to manipulate the environment and ones own behaviour to alleviate the narcissist's suffering a bad thing?
Should I get therapy and obtain help to prevent understanding - as well as to stop manipulating the environment to make both the narcissist and myself happier?
Hmmm. The epilogue is interesting. Is gaining knowledge about the pain that the affliction that NPD causes the sufferer and using that, not only to insulate oneself from becoming a victim of that person's affliction, but also to manipulate the environment and ones own behaviour to alleviate the narcissist's suffering a bad thing?
Should I get therapy and obtain help to prevent understanding - as well as to stop manipulating the environment to make both the narcissist and myself happier?
Rationing narcissistic supply seems to be an excellent strategy to keep the narcissist a little happy, as well as limiting the behaviour that does neither the narcissist nor his/her victim(s) any good. It may also help the narcissist to adjust his/her behaviour for everyone's benefit.
I love your videos, but have to make a maybe indiscrete question you could answer in my dm´s. Do you really in your experience believe pepole with these traits actually care that a former victim is doing great and so on? I honestly heard from a professor that her insight was that saying this is the best way to make pepole feel better and channel they understandable rage and revenge desires into something more useful. I believe that if they "care" is only about that they cant use the target anymore, and would be better to say it like it is (once the victim is more stable) so they can reject the possible new cycle.
You have a nice shoulder line
Doesn't she? Good jawline too.
They're like children.
They is no more new reply left ‼️ 10:23
I have been avoiding my narcissist mother for 4 years now. Been thinking about reconnecting with her. Is 4 years long enough? I have mixed feelings about reconnecting with her.
I have a class fellow and she holds narcissistic traits. Whenever I confront her for doing something or even if I’m not fighting and talking in a normal tone, she would assume that I’m insulting her and then what she does is hides me from her WhatsApp statuses for sometime and then after sometime I again start seeing them. Another thing she does very often is ignoring my msgs and not responding making me feel like I don’t exist. Some days she is nice out of no where while most of the days she’s moody and very reserved and avoidant like she doesn’t know me.
Can anyone give further briefing on this?!
My histrionic and borderline girlfriend says I’m a narcissist.
I wonder if she brought that out of me?
Projection
Possibly, or she's saying whatever it takes to get your attention and silence your criticism.
"I know you are, but what am I?"
@@dean8705
Lol. She’s said many times “What’s wrong with you?”
@@HealthWyze
Well I did start to criticise her a lot.
@@Moist._Robot yup. They do that. You're the problem
I've done it all and smiled..too bad, it was platonic cov female..more of a sociopath with felonies..( I googled her saw mug shot ,) I got gone 😀
Doc, do you ever reach out to help people that are suffering from narcissistic abuse? I've been looking for serious help. I'm a good man, surrounded by a very supportive family and friends..yet, none can give me directions on my problem ( a soon to be x wife) whom I just married October 2023... She loved by me for the first 2 months of engagement.. the day we got married she was photobombing a man at the airport after we just got married.. when I told her it bothered me her answer was oh well..
That's when I thought I might be in trouble here. I was, in the first week of our marriage she raged on me for 9 days straight.. and this happened several times in the first 2 months, until one day at the end of a 9-day rage, she told me a story about some dumb guy she pretended to love, who bought her food and jewelry and clothes... When I asked her who was that? She blatantly said, it was you you idiot! I only married you for health coverage.. there's a lot more to the story but that's how it started off.. I am very forgiving to a false, because of the many hardships in life I've developed of nature of calmness and peace.. in fact I was accused of her of being two peaceful, too good, two loving!.. I wish I had somebody that was like that for me.. anyway I was going to end the marriage.. it was a lie, she did agree to go to the doctor where she was diagnosed bipolar, however now that we are separated and I look back at what happened, after listening to you and Dr Romani, and Dr zung, I've realized I am with a narcissist. In April of 2024 my wife told me the day before she filed a restraining order on medid she like looking at other men and liked when they looked at her.. I just thanked her for being honest and said I already know that, and I said we're Christians though we have to bounce our eyes right.. and she says I'm very close to committing adultery on you.. shocked I said you didn't did you? She said no but I'm very close to having an affair.. she had quitter job 2 months prior to this telling me that God was plaguing her because she didn't quit her job she told God she would quit her job when she got married.. there's two was a lie,. The day after she had told me she was going to commit adultery the next morning when we took her to her doctor's appointment she dismissed me to the waiting room.. 45 minutes later a police officer came out and said she was afraid to go home with me.. a couple hours later they serve me with the phony restraining order and took all my property out of the house such as firearms left me in a puddle of tears broken hearted because I actually loved her however she didn't love me it was just fake. When we got the court over the restraining order she tried to charge me $500 a week, that's a week not a month..500 hours a week to drop the restraining order, that is extortion.. I wound up negotiating it down to 2:50 because my attorney said the judge could give it to her. This is all over a lie in the stroke of a pen. I have had nothing but problems since trying to get her out of my life. I filed for divorce and she is making it as crazy as possible of course. My attorney is pretty good but he doesn't know anything about narcissism. I'm so much looking for somebody to tell me something positive. Thank you for your channel I did describe and hit the like button. I'd even pay for some friendly council.. I just feel stuck and hopeless, as the attorneys are not believing that she's going to do the things that I say she's going to do, and then she does it and they're surprised.. like a civil agreement to get her stuff and she broke every single rule... And it's almost like she's been planning this before we even got married which I think she did. Any help would be appreciated, and if you can't I understand you're busy. Thank you for your channel I'll keep watching
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