I've had success approaching women by just assuming something about her but in a genuine manner. If shes wearing a blue blouse you can say i bet blue is your favorite color. Or you can try guessing her nationality "hey you look greek are you greek?" That will let you learn something about her and show her that you are interested in her.
Carey. I love your videos and approachable style. I have a question re 4) not asking for a phone number straight away. Are you suggesting the best course of action is to give her your number without asking for hers, with the hope she will make contact? This would certainly remove some awkwardness but leaves one unable to make contact. PS I actually have a card I had made as I was impressed how in 19th century novels gentlemen always left a calling card.
That is indeed what I am suggesting. Your calling card is a charming idea. “I would love to take you out and get to know you better. Here’s my card. If you are at all interested, I would love to hear from you to make plans.”
@@stanley8869 I like what you done there, Richard. Like an online mini calling card: Richard (50+ male, Australia). Does this work in generating more interaction with people out of your area?
@@ssiegreen5292 I have handed over my card a few times - it generates curiosity, and if handled right, interest. I am indicating interest and telling her I would welcome hearing from her. It is a way around the awkward moment of asking for her phone number and not getting it. It is useful when approaching a younger woman (30s above).
Physical attractiveness (facial) has a great bearing on whether a woman finds a man creepy or not. The halo effect is real. That is also part of the reason for social anxiety or lack of confidence in men; the lack of positive social interactions with the opposite sex, especially in the formative years. Your first point about determining whether an approach is warranted gets to the underlying issue for some men. That is you are not getting any positive information that indicates an approach is warranted.
While the halo effect is real, so is the fact that beauty is subjective. And nothing makes people more attractive than their own confidence and self-esteem. Also, did you watch yesterday’s episode? I’m thinking maybe that’s how you found your way to this one but just in case I thought I’d mention it… Thanks for leaving a comment.🤎👍
@@CoffeewithCarey Beauty is only somewhat subjective. If you gave 1000 women photos of 20 guys of different attractiveness, none will place a 1 as a 10 for example. No one would say that Danny Devito is better looking than Brad Pitt for example. Confidence and charisma helps for the average looking man, but if one is below average looking there is a point that it doesn't help much at all. Women make it very difficult to hold a conversation. What happens is that less than average attractive men have extremely limited choices in a mate. This all is based on my own personal experience and the experience of men I have talked with. I do agree with a lot of what you say about clothing, handling dates, and even confidence, etc.But there is not doubt physical attractiveness reigns supreme.
@@neohermitist No! What happens is that less attractive than average men need to understand they will be attracting and dating women who are of the same level of attractiveness. There is absolutely NO LIMIT to the choices and variety of fantastic and lovely women who will want to date them in that group of women. 👍
@@CoffeewithCarey I agree that men and women should date within their own attractiveness level. However, women are VERY picky backed up by data which shows that women place most men as below average in attractiveness and that creates an imbalance. My two year experience doing the best I could taught me a valuable lesson.
I would love to see a video on how to deal with men who repeatedly inform you of all of their wants and needs outside the bedroom and in. I recently dated a man, who could not help throwing in hugs, cuddles, kisses, touch whenever we talked or sent texts. I told him to keep the touchy feely talk to a minimum, did not make me feel safe to be sitting across the table from a guy who you felt would jump your bones. Eventually when he divulged that his deceased wife of 8 years "didn't fake it in the bedroom" I pulled the plug on it. All in all a very uncomfortable situation. I find men of a certain age 65 lets say are desperate to tell you about how they still have it all going on. Do you have any videos dealing with woman shutting this down. I tried and failed. Do men not have a clue? I told him, we know what you want, we just don't want to hear about it, not on the first date over coffee.
yeah, this is that same guy you’re talking about. I think perhaps you just found a very strange, awkward and weird man, who was clueless and quite ignorant of women. If this becomes an ongoing problem for you, I will certainly consider making an episode to address this bizarre situation. 🤎👍
I find that interesting. In my experience here locally at least [rural/small town/country living] - they are actually kind of shy to come out and discuss their needs/wants etc. Perhaps you two have very different physical + intimacy desire levels and do not match well in that regard? Different "Love Languages"? Maybe he's just a creeper or a dog, but it's also possible that you're simply just not compatible? That said though - if you experience this repeatedly with different men - maybe you come across as more approachable, than you truly are?
How? I have 538 episodes here. That’s a good start. 👍 if you finish those and still don’t have a girlfriend, then you might want to schedule some coaching …🤎
I like to have my hands on my hips whenever I am i am having a conversation with someone.
That's the body pose that makes me feel the most confident.
Does it look like you mean business?
I've had success approaching women by just assuming something about her but in a genuine manner.
If shes wearing a blue blouse you can say i bet blue is your favorite color.
Or you can try guessing her nationality "hey you look greek are you greek?"
That will let you learn something about her and show her that you are interested in her.
Even if you’re wrong! Fantastic!
Great tips.
🙌
I don't want to creep
Nobody does. 🤎
Carey. I love your videos and approachable style. I have a question re 4) not asking for a phone number straight away. Are you suggesting the best course of action is to give her your number without asking for hers, with the hope she will make contact? This would certainly remove some awkwardness but leaves one unable to make contact.
PS I actually have a card I had made as I was impressed how in 19th century novels gentlemen always left a calling card.
That is indeed what I am suggesting. Your calling card is a charming idea.
“I would love to take you out and get to know you better. Here’s my card. If you are at all interested, I would love to hear from you to make plans.”
@@CoffeewithCarey Thanks! That is very helpful. Your advice reaches further than the greater Chicago metropolitan area Richard (50+ male, Australia).
@@stanley8869 I like what you done there, Richard. Like an online mini calling card: Richard (50+ male, Australia). Does this work in generating more interaction with people out of your area?
@@ssiegreen5292 I have handed over my card a few times - it generates curiosity, and if handled right, interest. I am indicating interest and telling her I would welcome hearing from her. It is a way around the awkward moment of asking for her phone number and not getting it. It is useful when approaching a younger woman (30s above).
@@stanley8869 No I meant that little signature line under your post, not your actual "paper" card. {F61, GA} - like that?
Physical attractiveness (facial) has a great bearing on whether a woman finds a man creepy or not. The halo effect is real. That is also part of the reason for social anxiety or lack of confidence in men; the lack of positive social interactions with the opposite sex, especially in the formative years. Your first point about determining whether an approach is warranted gets to the underlying issue for some men. That is you are not getting any positive information that indicates an approach is warranted.
While the halo effect is real, so is the fact that beauty is subjective. And nothing makes people more attractive than their own confidence and self-esteem. Also, did you watch yesterday’s episode? I’m thinking maybe that’s how you found your way to this one but just in case I thought I’d mention it… Thanks for leaving a comment.🤎👍
@@CoffeewithCarey Beauty is only somewhat subjective. If you gave 1000 women photos of 20 guys of different attractiveness, none will place a 1 as a 10 for example. No one would say that Danny Devito is better looking than Brad Pitt for example.
Confidence and charisma helps for the average looking man, but if one is below average looking there is a point that it doesn't help much at all. Women make it very difficult to hold a conversation.
What happens is that less than average attractive men have extremely limited choices in a mate. This all is based on my own personal experience and the experience of men I have talked with.
I do agree with a lot of what you say about clothing, handling dates, and even confidence, etc.But there is not doubt physical attractiveness reigns supreme.
@@neohermitist No! What happens is that less attractive than average men need to understand they will be attracting and dating women who are of the same level of attractiveness.
There is absolutely NO LIMIT to the choices and variety of fantastic and lovely women who will want to date them in that group of women. 👍
@@CoffeewithCarey I agree that men and women should date within their own attractiveness level. However, women are VERY picky backed up by data which shows that women place most men as below average in attractiveness and that creates an imbalance.
My two year experience doing the best I could taught me a valuable lesson.
@@neohermitist my 13 plus year experience of matching people with ALL levels of attractiveness, taught me something too. 🙄
I would love to see a video on how to deal with men who repeatedly inform you of all of their wants and needs outside the bedroom and in. I recently dated a man, who could not help throwing in hugs, cuddles, kisses, touch whenever we talked or sent texts. I told him to keep the touchy feely talk to a minimum, did not make me feel safe to be sitting across the table from a guy who you felt would jump your bones. Eventually when he divulged that his deceased wife of 8 years "didn't fake it in the bedroom" I pulled the plug on it. All in all a very uncomfortable situation. I find men of a certain age 65 lets say are desperate to tell you about how they still have it all going on. Do you have any videos dealing with woman shutting this down. I tried and failed. Do men not have a clue? I told him, we know what you want, we just don't want to hear about it, not on the first date over coffee.
Wow😮… that’s quite a request and checklist !!!wish you luck on your future endeavors…
yeah, this is that same guy you’re talking about. I think perhaps you just found a very strange, awkward and weird man, who was clueless and quite ignorant of women. If this becomes an ongoing problem for you, I will certainly consider making an episode to address this bizarre situation. 🤎👍
I find that interesting. In my experience here locally at least [rural/small town/country living] - they are actually kind of shy to come out and discuss their needs/wants etc. Perhaps you two have very different physical + intimacy desire levels and do not match well in that regard? Different "Love Languages"? Maybe he's just a creeper or a dog, but it's also possible that you're simply just not compatible?
That said though - if you experience this repeatedly with different men - maybe you come across as more approachable, than you truly are?
Good advice I´ll try it.
I am a recently divorced 57 year old. How do I meet eligible women. It's impossible.
How? I have 538 episodes here. That’s a good start. 👍 if you finish those and still don’t have a girlfriend,
then you might want to schedule some coaching …🤎
@@CoffeewithCareyI will give it a try. I have nothing to lose.
LOL! Big tip for not being creepy. Don't work in science research. Do I have stories. 👍👍☕☕
nerdy and creepy are not the same thing
I really liked this video.. appreciate looking at it from a guys viewpoint…
well, then, this was your month, January! ;-)
How do you drink your coffee Carey? ☕️🙂
#CornAndChemicals
Do you have a video about not being creepy to men ? asking for a friend.
haha. no.
maybe try the same approach for a start?