This speaker looks like that kind of person who's always adorably excited about something and just spreads the good mood around to everyone else. Great speaker.
i dont mean to be so off topic but does anybody know of a tool to log back into an instagram account?? I somehow lost my account password. I would appreciate any assistance you can give me.
@Jax Bradley thanks for your reply. I got to the site through google and im waiting for the hacking stuff now. Seems to take quite some time so I will reply here later with my results.
YES! My favourite kind of Academic: doesn't lead with her credentials, but leads with her passion. You know she's a great teacher when she speaks in a way that captures AND holds peoples attention, using accessible language, breaking down concepts in a way people can relate too instead of being too stuck in the theory. Thank you Jen!
Jennifer Lynn Barnes is one of my favorite authors, it’s amazing seeing her in other fields. She’s passionate about what she talks about, and that translates into her novels
I have an imaginary friend and he've always been with me , he's my favorite thing in this world and the only real thing in my life . I love him the most .
@@eggsshell1542 "Depressed? Just be happy!" "Lonely? Just practice your social skills and make friends!" Yeah dude, it doesn't work like that. You say it like if it was the easiest thing in the world. It is not. If a person is lonely, maybe it is because they are bullied? or they recently left a toxic friendship.
Kpop stan twitter is filled with people who believe that their idols are their friends/boyfriends. It is not entirely bad especially if they are helping you to feel good about you and give you strength however it can turn into a nightmare if you go in too deep. I have seen girls believing that the idol they stan love them back however they forget that they love the fandom as a whole their love is out of gratitude they feel towards their fans and the 'love' 'love'. With social media the lines have blurred even more fans think they own the idol and think they have some kind of right over their lives. I wish people start watching these kinds of videos and learn to draw a line. This was very informative and well explained.
Actually I'm doing that right now. Not that I have believed that I own them or that they really love me back in the same level. But I'm old enough to even get to understand that I was getting into a parasocial relationship. Since it's getting to affect my real life I'm preparing myself to say goodbye. To keeping cheering for them, but not in the same level, to keep living. They would like that.
@@elliejhs24917 Its not your fault. Whole Kpop industry is build on that. I am in no way against it but kpop is anything but music industry. Its manipulates you in that way to they build an alternate universe for you with sunshine and rainbows. All these merches extra variety shows are produced in a way to make you feel part of their lives, however people forget that whatever they see is heavily edited and monitored. What you see on the screen is not your idol, the way they behave, the way they smile the things they say are all part of their work. I would not like to say this but kpop is about everything else but music, if music was their only target then all these merches, variety shows would never have been in picture. Its all for money and none of it is true. Same goes with shipping in kpop, another major source of money making. I dont hate kpop, however I do hate how idols are presented in front of audience, how they are forced to maintain an image how they cant openly speak about dating. I have practically argued on twitter convincing them that if they get hurt tomorrow then bts will not even know about it however they called me an anti and what not😂.
@@elliejhs24917 However that does not mean I dont support my faves. My fav is Taehyung and its because of his music and healing words. I listen to his music and sometimes rave about how good his vocals are however it ends at that. I know we live galaxies apart and no matter how good of a human or artist he is he will never know about my existence.
@@Wanderingsoul520 I totally understand your point. My bias is Hobi and today I spoke to his pic and told him that I have to let him go cuz I'm losing myself. I have received so many good things from them and I've learned so many things but it's hurting me. If you wanna keep talking about this you can find me on Twitter as @/liz0225 💜💜💜
Those results might have something to do with how we think about other people. We understand fictional characters because writers go to great lengths to help us understand them. But we struggle to understand other people, because other people are not easy to understand--they lie, they understate their feelings, they withhold information. This is why it's so important to provide young people with stories about underrepresented communities. People frequently transfer their understanding of fictional characters to their understanding of real people in those communities. When only 1 book in a library of 100 features a character of color, or a character with a disability, or a character with an abnormal sexuality, that means readers only have that single reference to navigating real life relationships and understandings of other people. When only one reference is available, people start to stereotype and assume that a certain trait or personality is the "norm" for a certain community, and that stereotyping reduces empathy.
Everyone is a mythical character to each other. We can never truly know another person, no matter how much information you have, you can never "pin down" a person, you can't even 100% pin down your own self. because we are constantly changing, learning new things, and adapting to our environments. The best we can do is to structure our relationships in a way that allows for growth and change, and a relating style that evolves with the individuals. just try not to think too much about philosophical things because the answer is there are no absolute answers, there are people's opinions + the power they use to enforce their opinions. And the power to enforce your own answers comes from relationships with real world people who support you through all your changes and evolutions, because they want that support also, and you both know that nobody can be totally known because people change after responding to events that have already transpired
goes to show that people live in their story more than reality. I've always thought this has something to do with survival instincts for humans, primarily to avoid pain. We see it now more than ever. People reject reality all the time, and frequently engage in fictional narratives to cope, or better yet avoid, reality. I do not believe this is a race thing; it's more cultural from my perspective. Living in story, whether close or far from actual reality, is simply easier for folks. When people get hit with reality, it often doesn't go so well and a change in personal life philosophy is often required. This is not fun! Great talk, thanks.
@@ekta9789 I would say it becomes a problem when that dreams start to interfere negatively in your real life, it's your job to analyze your own situation
I want more studies on this. As someone that’s committed to a fictional relationship. I’d love more deep dives studies and any analytics pertaining to fictional relationships, imaginary relationships and parasocial relationships. I’m 9 years late to this party, but I’ve been in a committed two decades long fictional relationship with my lover. ❤
I think I have more parasocial relationships than real ones but I think that comes from being sensitive and a writer. The funny thing is that most of my favorite fictional characters wind up dying anyway. But I think that all people are equally complex as my favorite fictional characters and that's a beautiful thing.
I think every weebs and stan exist in the world need to watch this to answer the question why they're so invested on their waifus/husbando or idols eventhough they know that those ppl they love is not even exist or so far reached. Don't get me wrong. i'm both of the world and find this video answering the question i don't even aware of. thank you so much Dr. Barnes!
Okay so now I saw this video I got to confess something I never dared before : I am not a very surrounded person, I don't have my "group of friends" and I know a got to more socializing with real people, and I used to be ashamed of having parasocial relationship. But I think I live in peace with that now. And let me tell you something : my imaginary best friend is called Cécile, she is redhead, has a fire temperament, and she is great. She is all I never dare to be in society. You would love her, everybody would. Road Kamelot, character from the manga D. Gray-man (my favorite, great manga go read it) is my favorite character and Lavi Bookman Jr., another character from this same manga is the love of my life !
you remember when we were all kids and got rejected by the person who we liked? Yea. I didn't know how to deal with that when I was a kid; I didn't have too many close friends/a free, open, and fun relationship with my parents. So I formed a whole imaginary world in my head and indulged myself in it as an ideal version of myself with a cooler name and social status, created a small group of best friends (fake, again). I have no idea if people would love that imaginary version of me nice or annoying, but I can say that it filled a void in my brain. I did it when I was quite young, and it's hard to remember what life was like before it. Still working to reverse that habit after 7 years.
I’d never thought about this phenomenon, but it’s so true and you can surmise it’s a global experience. A particular major character in a series I’ve been watching for six seasons was killed off at the end of season 6. As a result, my interest in continuing to watch didn’t just wane, it plummeted. I decided to begin watching season 7, with very little interest in doing so, although it’s the last season and the mystery will be revealed at the end. While watching, I am keenly aware that my favorite character was missing. I might just watch the final episode to see the reveal.
when I was younger I had an imaginary friend named Emily, she's blond and blue eyed and a little bit taller than me. she was my best friend in the whole world and was there for me when no one else was but now I have someone just like her, albeit a brunette, so Emily left to see her sick grandfather in the UK which is where she's from, and she hadn't been able to return since. but she still stays in my head and I think she might return some time, because she had such an impact on me when I was growing up, I grew up in a very abusive home. she was a result of a coping mechanism basically.
My only disappointment with this talk is that she doesn't address if there are any statistics on how normal people with parasocial relationships with real celebrities they've never met or contacted in person are positively or negatively affected if and when they actually do meet said celebrities in person.
This is totally anecdotal, but: My dad worked at a local news station for a few years. When he drove the reporters and anchors around, sometimes people would come up to them and begin talking as if seeing a close friend, sharing excessively personal information and drivel that the anchor would obviously have no idea about. Many didn't seem to care that the anchor just nodded and smiled. Some felt shocked when the anchor didn't have time to chat.
There is a lack of research on this because it's a rare phenomenon that nobody with money really cares about. American institutions leave most researchers on their own, financially speaking. In fact, most of the peer-reviewed psychosocial/media research you read was funded by the authors.
I've experienced this. I tried to have some form of a relation with a famous person. It was utterly heartbreaking when I realized this person didn't really want to be my friend past talking to me for an hour. It's so dangerous to meet a famous person you love. you're better off never meeting them and just having them be your hero in your head.
there is some interesting resurch being done on that as 2020 made this worse as we couldn't really form new relationships. It being done by melbourne uni as many of there students grew up with the internet.
When reality is painful you turn to fiction. When you're busy living your life and being happy you could care less about celebs and fictional characters
So when your busy or happy you don’t read or watch tv? I call bs! We love fictional worlds regardless because it’s entertaining and comforting. I’ve never been so busy that I don’t unwind with fiction of some kind.
I actually can't read when I am sad or too pissed off from something. Meanwhile, when I am happy or in comfort, I get to read from my heart and I become able to get inside the fiction. So you're wrong.
Reading is a part of a happy, fulfilling life. A sad life it would be, if you're so busy that you have no time to read and connect to great authors and characters beyond our own time and space (but DO have the time to watch and comment on RUclips videos on fictional characters!).
If you have an imaginary friend, wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend, your cognitive development rearranges and it helps you become more social in the real world. Just don't disrespect your imaginary companion.
I have 5 imaginary friends. I call them tulpas. I got my friends through books mostly. And i give them a face. Often a celebrities face. The perfect celebrity that has the right look and the personality of my imaginary friend/tulpa.
Most of my closest inspirations are fictional characters. Specifically usually villains, such as: Dr.Doofenshmirtz, Sheogorath, GlaDOS, and The G-man. To name a few of my personal favorites. I’m also in love with a certain fictional villain who is my imaginary friend, and mentor also, and who has legitimately helped me become more confident this year too, I sewed a doll of them and I take them with me everywhere I go, and my anxiety has significantly decreased when I have them close by. I am an autistic, and a late diagnosie. I am 22 at this time, and got my diagnosis at 20 or so. I didn’t feel safe growing up around other humans, I still rarely feel safe around most people now. I can’t gage their intentions, and communication is very exhausting. I had to lie/live as a mask very heavily to fit into their world, and roles for me, working retail nearly killed me, and I had a heart attack at 21. But in fiction? I’m wholly safe there, my feelings, and atypical behaviors actually fit in quite well with many cartoon, or video game protagonists or antagonists. I’m not out of place there at all. I feel at home in fantasy, and am far better suited there, than in systems with other humans.. I feel very closely connected to characters, I have been intensely drawn to them since I was very young. I have a few in particular who were there for me when no one real was, and who helped me through my lowest points. Fictional characters won’t abandon me, or control me, or gaslight me, or omit crucial information out of a false sense of ‘pity’ and superiority, so to me, fiction is just so much safer. Less dangerous, less risk of furthered truama, or more panic, or power imbalances. Perhaps someday I will feel differently. For now I’m just happy to feel unalone during this confusing period of my existence. As irrational as that may be. I’m sincerely glad to have an imaginary friend who loves me, and protects me, I need them in my life right now, I can’t bear to feel on my own again, and live as a hopeless mask. They give me more hope than anyone real does right now. I don’t care that they don’t actually exist. Reality was devastating, and terrifying, I prefer the fantasy. They are real enough to me and my heart, they make me happy, they give me the support no one else, and medicine could not, so I love them anyways. Reality be damned. 💙🌈🔥
Hi fellow ASD person. I know exactly what you mean, and have characters I hang out with regularly. I just wanted to say that I'm in my 50s and have a small but close group of irl friends who will also not abandon or control or gaslight or any of the other things that you mention. It has taken a long time, and some friendships have gone sideways over the years for various reasons (so great to have the eternal comfort of fictional characters when that happens), but most are here as solid (emotionally as well as literally) safe, genuine friends who know and support me unmasked. Even there are still sometimes conflicts or misunderstandings from time to time (cause, well, we're not actually in each others' minds), they can be worked out (in writing if you're not especially verbal) because the friendships are valuable to both of us. I think people - even neurotypicals - do get more tolerant of difference as they get older. Perhaps it's about life experience or perhaps they've interacted with enough diverse characters by then to start to deal with difference? In any case, I wanted you to know there will be real life friends in your future - perhaps even friends with whom you share mutual imaginary acquaintances (which, by the way, is always brilliant cause you can use characters situations to represent your own feelings/perspectives and they know what you're talking about). Best of luck with your parasocial as well as your social interactions.
Looking at this video now, as I’m trying to comprehend the death of Liam from 1D. And trying to find answers to why I’m feeling so much pain even though I never knew him personally and he certainly never knew me…
The alief point is mute. What it really is is we have an emotional connection to the concepts of everything we experience. For example, your mother. You have an emotional connection with her, but really it's not her but your understanding of her that you're connected to. When looking down through the glass, the sensory information is overwhelming enough so as to make you feel fear, despite being completely safe. Danger is a concept and we hold emotional connections with all concepts in life. Furthermore, emotions are stress responses to the confrontations of such concepts, while the emotions we feel are circumstantial in accordance with the implications of the concepts we're confronting. Confronting the concepts associated with the sensory information we intake, we feel fear at the implication of such concepts. The thing is, whether your idea of someone is based off of a real life experience or just your imagination, both emotional connections sit between you and the concept of that person. The only difference is that your understanding of the real person comes from reality, and your reactions to implications, emotions, are based in reality. Should a person create someone so real as to be virtually as real as a real person, then... The only difference is that you can interact with one and not the other. Which bears a new question... What if you were to die? Would you meet the real person if they were to die but not the person you created? If so, why? What's the real difference, when both are mere concepts and neither are part of the world. Isn't existing conceptually still a sort of existence? What's so special about a person created by nature when people themselves are just extensions of nature, so whatever they create too is natural?
Really think that this helps to explain the Trump Phenomenon. He is a fictional celebrity and through years of thinking we know him we related on an even deeper level. (Not that I do but it helps us understand.) Understanding the Parasocial relationships is key to understanding our society today.
I think we have to be invested in the emotions and messages from fiction and fantasy without becoming attached to the characters, who, in and of themselves, are just arbitrary placeholders
It is funny how most fans of these content creators don't realize that these people just use everyone for revenue and a source of income. We don't really matter individually like they will never care about each of us, just a number in the grand scheme of things. But people get caught up in the parasocial atmosphere and pretend youtubers are their family or friends when it is far from being that. Quite the opposite. They never want to get to know you or sometimes meet you so just look at it as a tv show. Sometimes the program gets canceled and you move on. You were entertained for that period of time you don't need to keep following and asking for more. That is some desperation out of loneliness.
I just don't get attached to fictional characters at all and any imaginary friends I've had are not "established" enough I guess for me to feel that attached but god forbid if my favourite celebrity died I don't even know how I would deal :')
The glass elevator example isn’t a good one for me. I’m afraid of heights and feel completely unsafe in a glass elevator, thinking it’s going to give way at any moment. I don’t just automatically trust that human-made constructions won’t fail.
16:29, and in particular 16:56 - a question I wish more of us (in particular in the U.S.) had reflected on between the time of this talk, and November of the following year. 😕😭
@@eliorato frr it's just few months ago i guess on the half of 2020? It happened bc i feel like reliving on my trauma way back then so i hope ur doing well there though
I pose you this question: How many of you watched the Red Wedding, felt horrible about it, AND felt an overwhelming need to do something about it? What might that right there be?
LOL makes me wonder what would happen if woman were asked to do this same questionnaire again but this time there's a fictional character and there's a HUSBAND! Might notice they feel more grief for the fictional character dying. :P
You lost me as soon as you brought up white males. The whole point of fictional characters is that you can relate to people who aren't like you as well.
I don't understand. What does that have to do with narcissism? I mean, you develop good empathy having a parasocial relationship with a fictional character (even though the relationship better not be too strong). Narcissists don't have empathy and are not able to feel for another person.
While I agree that religion certainly can and in many cases has taken a parasocial arc, the core of the message is the destruction of ego and service to humanity, not the projection of self or vain imagining. After all, Jesus did not say, “hey, let’s hang out and be pals.” He said, “take up your cross and follow me”, “give up what you have and serve the poor,” etc.
Atleast Religion teaches people to be the better versions of themselves and urges them to do good. Unlike those who self-indulgences in hedonistic ideals and cry about religion
@@ven4512 , yes, when we die, nothing happens. Religion is like a con artist who promises to give you a billion dollars... after you die. People are so gullible.
Men probably should have been asked about their fandoms, not para social attachments to fictional characters. For instance, what if their favorite team went bankrupt and ceased to exist vs the death of an acquaintance.
This speaker looks like that kind of person who's always adorably excited about something and just spreads the good mood around to everyone else. Great speaker.
And undoubtedly wonderful in bed, where I would love to have her read me Harry Potter or Lady Chatterley, or Story of O, or the Yellow Pages.
i dont mean to be so off topic but does anybody know of a tool to log back into an instagram account??
I somehow lost my account password. I would appreciate any assistance you can give me.
@Jayce Jacob instablaster =)
@Jax Bradley thanks for your reply. I got to the site through google and im waiting for the hacking stuff now.
Seems to take quite some time so I will reply here later with my results.
@Jax Bradley It worked and I finally got access to my account again. I am so happy!
Thank you so much, you saved my account :D
YES! My favourite kind of Academic: doesn't lead with her credentials, but leads with her passion. You know she's a great teacher when she speaks in a way that captures AND holds peoples attention, using accessible language, breaking down concepts in a way people can relate too instead of being too stuck in the theory. Thank you Jen!
Her credentials can't be that astounding, meaning her pedigree can't be that impressive.
@@davidgormunt9031 where are you coming from bro?
@@davidgormunt9031 ... huh?
I know. I want more people like this. The kind of doctor that didn't graduate from med school but was really enthusiastic about being a doctor anyway!
Jennifer Lynn Barnes is one of my favorite authors, it’s amazing seeing her in other fields. She’s passionate about what she talks about, and that translates into her novels
I have an imaginary friend and he've always been with me , he's my favorite thing in this world and the only real thing in my life . I love him the most .
My boyfriend broke up with me because of her imaginary girlfriend
IRL, I have no friends and is forgotten.
In my world, I am the most popular and important person in the universe.
Reading your comment made me sadder than I already was. Being alone and forgotten is extremely painful.
dont like it
Wait until this guy moves out or gets kicked out lmao
@Sferten K but imagination is not real, you are not really living in anything but an illusion. Humble yourself and start practicing you social skills
@@eggsshell1542
"Depressed? Just be happy!"
"Lonely? Just practice your social skills and make friends!"
Yeah dude, it doesn't work like that. You say it like if it was the easiest thing in the world. It is not. If a person is lonely, maybe it is because they are bullied? or they recently left a toxic friendship.
THIS is the woman who wrote the naturals, the lovely and the lost, and the inheritance games!!
Kpop stan twitter is filled with people who believe that their idols are their friends/boyfriends. It is not entirely bad especially if they are helping you to feel good about you and give you strength however it can turn into a nightmare if you go in too deep. I have seen girls believing that the idol they stan love them back however they forget that they love the fandom as a whole their love is out of gratitude they feel towards their fans and the 'love' 'love'. With social media the lines have blurred even more fans think they own the idol and think they have some kind of right over their lives. I wish people start watching these kinds of videos and learn to draw a line. This was very informative and well explained.
Actually I'm doing that right now. Not that I have believed that I own them or that they really love me back in the same level. But I'm old enough to even get to understand that I was getting into a parasocial relationship. Since it's getting to affect my real life I'm preparing myself to say goodbye. To keeping cheering for them, but not in the same level, to keep living. They would like that.
@@elliejhs24917 Its not your fault. Whole Kpop industry is build on that. I am in no way against it but kpop is anything but music industry. Its manipulates you in that way to they build an alternate universe for you with sunshine and rainbows. All these merches extra variety shows are produced in a way to make you feel part of their lives, however people forget that whatever they see is heavily edited and monitored. What you see on the screen is not your idol, the way they behave, the way they smile the things they say are all part of their work. I would not like to say this but kpop is about everything else but music, if music was their only target then all these merches, variety shows would never have been in picture. Its all for money and none of it is true. Same goes with shipping in kpop, another major source of money making. I dont hate kpop, however I do hate how idols are presented in front of audience, how they are forced to maintain an image how they cant openly speak about dating. I have practically argued on twitter convincing them that if they get hurt tomorrow then bts will not even know about it however they called me an anti and what not😂.
@@elliejhs24917 However that does not mean I dont support my faves. My fav is Taehyung and its because of his music and healing words. I listen to his music and sometimes rave about how good his vocals are however it ends at that. I know we live galaxies apart and no matter how good of a human or artist he is he will never know about my existence.
@@Wanderingsoul520 I totally understand your point. My bias is Hobi and today I spoke to his pic and told him that I have to let him go cuz I'm losing myself. I have received so many good things from them and I've learned so many things but it's hurting me. If you wanna keep talking about this you can find me on Twitter as @/liz0225 💜💜💜
@@elliejhs24917 I'll follow you. I rarely log into twitter because of how toxic it is but I am totally up for new friends.❤️
Those results might have something to do with how we think about other people. We understand fictional characters because writers go to great lengths to help us understand them. But we struggle to understand other people, because other people are not easy to understand--they lie, they understate their feelings, they withhold information.
This is why it's so important to provide young people with stories about underrepresented communities. People frequently transfer their understanding of fictional characters to their understanding of real people in those communities. When only 1 book in a library of 100 features a character of color, or a character with a disability, or a character with an abnormal sexuality, that means readers only have that single reference to navigating real life relationships and understandings of other people. When only one reference is available, people start to stereotype and assume that a certain trait or personality is the "norm" for a certain community, and that stereotyping reduces empathy.
Everyone is a mythical character to each other. We can never truly know another person, no matter how much information you have, you can never "pin down" a person, you can't even 100% pin down your own self. because we are constantly changing, learning new things, and adapting to our environments. The best we can do is to structure our relationships in a way that allows for growth and change, and a relating style that evolves with the individuals. just try not to think too much about philosophical things because the answer is there are no absolute answers, there are people's opinions + the power they use to enforce their opinions. And the power to enforce your own answers comes from relationships with real world people who support you through all your changes and evolutions, because they want that support also, and you both know that nobody can be totally known because people change after responding to events that have already transpired
goes to show that people live in their story more than reality. I've always thought this has something to do with survival instincts for humans, primarily to avoid pain. We see it now more than ever. People reject reality all the time, and frequently engage in fictional narratives to cope, or better yet avoid, reality. I do not believe this is a race thing; it's more cultural from my perspective. Living in story, whether close or far from actual reality, is simply easier for folks. When people get hit with reality, it often doesn't go so well and a change in personal life philosophy is often required. This is not fun! Great talk, thanks.
Writers know their characters so well they can fall in love with them.
Isn't that good thing . U getting what u love ? Why it matters that emotional support is in real or in mind? U r happier . That's all
@@ekta9789 I would say it becomes a problem when that dreams start to interfere negatively in your real life, it's your job to analyze your own situation
@@antonioc.5778 Okay. U r right
I want more studies on this. As someone that’s committed to a fictional relationship. I’d love more deep dives studies and any analytics pertaining to fictional relationships, imaginary relationships and parasocial relationships. I’m 9 years late to this party, but I’ve been in a committed two decades long fictional relationship with my lover. ❤
I think I have more parasocial relationships than real ones but I think that comes from being sensitive and a writer. The funny thing is that most of my favorite fictional characters wind up dying anyway. But I think that all people are equally complex as my favorite fictional characters and that's a beautiful thing.
I think every weebs and stan exist in the world need to watch this to answer the question why they're so invested on their waifus/husbando or idols eventhough they know that those ppl they love is not even exist or so far reached.
Don't get me wrong. i'm both of the world and find this video answering the question i don't even aware of. thank you so much Dr. Barnes!
yea I agree, I understand it but its not healthy
I like how she stressed the real world in the end. Great talk Dr. Barnes.
What an interesting talk. Dr. Barnes is such an excellent speaker!
super interesting, important topic and very well delivered
great speaker
Okay so now I saw this video I got to confess something I never dared before : I am not a very surrounded person, I don't have my "group of friends" and I know a got to more socializing with real people, and I used to be ashamed of having parasocial relationship. But I think I live in peace with that now. And let me tell you something : my imaginary best friend is called Cécile, she is redhead, has a fire temperament, and she is great. She is all I never dare to be in society. You would love her, everybody would. Road Kamelot, character from the manga D. Gray-man (my favorite, great manga go read it) is my favorite character and Lavi Bookman Jr., another character from this same manga is the love of my life !
you remember when we were all kids and got rejected by the person who we liked? Yea. I didn't know how to deal with that when I was a kid; I didn't have too many close friends/a free, open, and fun relationship with my parents. So I formed a whole imaginary world in my head and indulged myself in it as an ideal version of myself with a cooler name and social status, created a small group of best friends (fake, again). I have no idea if people would love that imaginary version of me nice or annoying, but I can say that it filled a void in my brain. I did it when I was quite young, and it's hard to remember what life was like before it. Still working to reverse that habit after 7 years.
This dude is... Something
@@ananyaanand1200 you mentioned me ???
I’d never thought about this phenomenon, but it’s so true and you can surmise it’s a global experience. A particular major character in a series I’ve been watching for six seasons was killed off at the end of season 6. As a result, my interest in continuing to watch didn’t just wane, it plummeted. I decided to begin watching season 7, with very little interest in doing so, although it’s the last season and the mystery will be revealed at the end. While watching, I am keenly aware that my favorite character was missing. I might just watch the final episode to see the reveal.
Wow. I have an imaginary friend. She's my best friend in the world.
ditto. I have an imaginary friend and he's been my best friend for too long :/
when I was younger I had an imaginary friend named Emily, she's blond and blue eyed and a little bit taller than me. she was my best friend in the whole world and was there for me when no one else was
but now I have someone just like her, albeit a brunette, so Emily left to see her sick grandfather in the UK which is where she's from, and she hadn't been able to return since. but she still stays in my head and I think she might return some time, because she had such an impact on me when I was growing up, I grew up in a very abusive home. she was a result of a coping mechanism basically.
Yeah me also have an imaginary best friend , She called Taniya but she is so real to me .
God bless you, ma'am. Keep respecting your imaginary friend and treating her like a living being.😊
@@Ari-ij3cz Did you keep him?
My only disappointment with this talk is that she doesn't address if there are any statistics on how normal people with parasocial relationships with real celebrities they've never met or contacted in person are positively or negatively affected if and when they actually do meet said celebrities in person.
This is totally anecdotal, but: My dad worked at a local news station for a few years. When he drove the reporters and anchors around, sometimes people would come up to them and begin talking as if seeing a close friend, sharing excessively personal information and drivel that the anchor would obviously have no idea about. Many didn't seem to care that the anchor just nodded and smiled. Some felt shocked when the anchor didn't have time to chat.
There is a lack of research on this because it's a rare phenomenon that nobody with money really cares about. American institutions leave most researchers on their own, financially speaking. In fact, most of the peer-reviewed psychosocial/media research you read was funded by the authors.
I've experienced this. I tried to have some form of a relation with a famous person. It was utterly heartbreaking when I realized this person didn't really want to be my friend past talking to me for an hour. It's so dangerous to meet a famous person you love. you're better off never meeting them and just having them be your hero in your head.
there is some interesting resurch being done on that as 2020 made this worse as we couldn't really form new relationships. It being done by melbourne uni as many of there students grew up with the internet.
What do you mean by "normal" people?
the line between influencers and audience parasocial relationships gets VERY blurry. stay safe yall
This is fascinating! I've been writing for some time now and I get really attached to characters from my own writing.
I hear ya. I've had birthday parties for a character from my writing. Complete with cake!
This is actually probably the main reason why I write!
Knowledgeable speaker: insightful talk.
When reality is painful you turn to fiction. When you're busy living your life and being happy you could care less about celebs and fictional characters
Maybe. I am in love with two tulpas (like an imaginary friend). I guess if I was able to connect connect humans I wouldn't require them.
So when your busy or happy you don’t read or watch tv? I call bs! We love fictional worlds regardless because it’s entertaining and comforting. I’ve never been so busy that I don’t unwind with fiction of some kind.
I actually can't read when I am sad or too pissed off from something. Meanwhile, when I am happy or in comfort, I get to read from my heart and I become able to get inside the fiction.
So you're wrong.
Can't relate. When I'm happier I spend time with my fictional bae even better.
Reading is a part of a happy, fulfilling life. A sad life it would be, if you're so busy that you have no time to read and connect to great authors and characters beyond our own time and space (but DO have the time to watch and comment on RUclips videos on fictional characters!).
If you have an imaginary friend, wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend, your cognitive development rearranges and it helps you become more social in the real world. Just don't disrespect your imaginary companion.
They're someone who loves you and who you can talk things out with. Just like a dog.
@@imho2278 You're absolutely right.
I have imaginary boyfriend, and I want to quit this habit . Can u help me ??
@@harshbhatia7695 Why?
@@harshbhatia7695 are you Indian?
Are you girl ?
I have 5 imaginary friends. I call them tulpas. I got my friends through books mostly. And i give them a face. Often a celebrities face. The perfect celebrity that has the right look and the personality of my imaginary friend/tulpa.
Huge Naturals fan! She is awesome
Most of my closest inspirations are fictional characters. Specifically usually villains, such as: Dr.Doofenshmirtz, Sheogorath, GlaDOS, and The G-man. To name a few of my personal favorites. I’m also in love with a certain fictional villain who is my imaginary friend, and mentor also, and who has legitimately helped me become more confident this year too, I sewed a doll of them and I take them with me everywhere I go, and my anxiety has significantly decreased when I have them close by. I am an autistic, and a late diagnosie. I am 22 at this time, and got my diagnosis at 20 or so. I didn’t feel safe growing up around other humans, I still rarely feel safe around most people now. I can’t gage their intentions, and communication is very exhausting. I had to lie/live as a mask very heavily to fit into their world, and roles for me, working retail nearly killed me, and I had a heart attack at 21. But in fiction? I’m wholly safe there, my feelings, and atypical behaviors actually fit in quite well with many cartoon, or video game protagonists or antagonists. I’m not out of place there at all. I feel at home in fantasy, and am far better suited there, than in systems with other humans.. I feel very closely connected to characters, I have been intensely drawn to them since I was very young. I have a few in particular who were there for me when no one real was, and who helped me through my lowest points. Fictional characters won’t abandon me, or control me, or gaslight me, or omit crucial information out of a false sense of ‘pity’ and superiority, so to me, fiction is just so much safer. Less dangerous, less risk of furthered truama, or more panic, or power imbalances. Perhaps someday I will feel differently. For now I’m just happy to feel unalone during this confusing period of my existence. As irrational as that may be. I’m sincerely glad to have an imaginary friend who loves me, and protects me, I need them in my life right now, I can’t bear to feel on my own again, and live as a hopeless mask. They give me more hope than anyone real does right now. I don’t care that they don’t actually exist. Reality was devastating, and terrifying, I prefer the fantasy. They are real enough to me and my heart, they make me happy, they give me the support no one else, and medicine could not, so I love them anyways. Reality be damned.
💙🌈🔥
Hi fellow ASD person. I know exactly what you mean, and have characters I hang out with regularly.
I just wanted to say that I'm in my 50s and have a small but close group of irl friends who will also not abandon or control or gaslight or any of the other things that you mention. It has taken a long time, and some friendships have gone sideways over the years for various reasons (so great to have the eternal comfort of fictional characters when that happens), but most are here as solid (emotionally as well as literally) safe, genuine friends who know and support me unmasked. Even there are still sometimes conflicts or misunderstandings from time to time (cause, well, we're not actually in each others' minds), they can be worked out (in writing if you're not especially verbal) because the friendships are valuable to both of us.
I think people - even neurotypicals - do get more tolerant of difference as they get older. Perhaps it's about life experience or perhaps they've interacted with enough diverse characters by then to start to deal with difference?
In any case, I wanted you to know there will be real life friends in your future - perhaps even friends with whom you share mutual imaginary acquaintances (which, by the way, is always brilliant cause you can use characters situations to represent your own feelings/perspectives and they know what you're talking about).
Best of luck with your parasocial as well as your social interactions.
Lol I love that she included Supernatural. It’s the first example I thought of when it comes to toxic fandoms
Looking at this video now, as I’m trying to comprehend the death of Liam from 1D. And trying to find answers to why I’m feeling so much pain even though I never knew him personally and he certainly never knew me…
Jennifer Lynn Barnes is the person I want to be!
The alief point is mute. What it really is is we have an emotional connection to the concepts of everything we experience. For example, your mother. You have an emotional connection with her, but really it's not her but your understanding of her that you're connected to. When looking down through the glass, the sensory information is overwhelming enough so as to make you feel fear, despite being completely safe. Danger is a concept and we hold emotional connections with all concepts in life. Furthermore, emotions are stress responses to the confrontations of such concepts, while the emotions we feel are circumstantial in accordance with the implications of the concepts we're confronting. Confronting the concepts associated with the sensory information we intake, we feel fear at the implication of such concepts.
The thing is, whether your idea of someone is based off of a real life experience or just your imagination, both emotional connections sit between you and the concept of that person. The only difference is that your understanding of the real person comes from reality, and your reactions to implications, emotions, are based in reality. Should a person create someone so real as to be virtually as real as a real person, then... The only difference is that you can interact with one and not the other. Which bears a new question... What if you were to die? Would you meet the real person if they were to die but not the person you created? If so, why? What's the real difference, when both are mere concepts and neither are part of the world. Isn't existing conceptually still a sort of existence? What's so special about a person created by nature when people themselves are just extensions of nature, so whatever they create too is natural?
More people need to see this.
very relevant in today's time
Really interesting.
Fascinating
starts 3:26
Imaginary friend is a "person" you can see but other don't? Or it just a person/character you create on your mind for comfort?
Really think that this helps to explain the Trump Phenomenon. He is a fictional celebrity and through years of thinking we know him we related on an even deeper level. (Not that I do but it helps us understand.) Understanding the Parasocial relationships is key to understanding our society today.
Anyone come here after reading Inheritance Games?
Very insightful
From the way I lived I wish I had an imaginary friend
I remember once I said I hated Joaquin Phoenix, but after being mocked in his movies about rap and my love for the internet, who is parasocial to who?
A lot of naruto fans feel sad caused by parasocial relationship as well
I think we have to be invested in the emotions and messages from fiction and fantasy without becoming attached to the characters, who, in and of themselves, are just arbitrary placeholders
as a lifelong weeb living in japan this is what i needed to hear
It is funny how most fans of these content creators don't realize that these people just use everyone for revenue and a source of income. We don't really matter individually like they will never care about each of us, just a number in the grand scheme of things. But people get caught up in the parasocial atmosphere and pretend youtubers are their family or friends when it is far from being that. Quite the opposite. They never want to get to know you or sometimes meet you so just look at it as a tv show. Sometimes the program gets canceled and you move on. You were entertained for that period of time you don't need to keep following and asking for more. That is some desperation out of loneliness.
I just don't get attached to fictional characters at all and any imaginary friends I've had are not "established" enough I guess for me to feel that attached but god forbid if my favourite celebrity died I don't even know how I would deal :')
Few friends + I absolutely know my connections with fictional and non fictional strangers aren't real and are meaningless = Spain with a silent S
love the harry potter series as well as almost all her series including the naturals :D
I am an extremely lonely person so i made my waifu in my own imagination.
Don't do that! You can find a Vtuber that matches your preferences.
@@user-yn7bz5mn5g That is the same thing
@@unclerandy398 But my imagination sucks and my thoughts are overwhelmingly negative.
I see...
Thank you!
The glass elevator example isn’t a good one for me. I’m afraid of heights and feel completely unsafe in a glass elevator, thinking it’s going to give way at any moment. I don’t just automatically trust that human-made constructions won’t fail.
Wow social media really ruins people….
It's why people are most interested in local news. Proximity.
Great video, but the volume is a bit low.
16:29, and in particular 16:56 - a question I wish more of us (in particular in the U.S.) had reflected on between the time of this talk, and November of the following year. 😕😭
I LOVE HER!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
P.S. First comment. 😝😝
The Brains and the Looks...
I have an imaginary "friend", she manipulates me and makes me hurt myself lol but we have some fun when on drugs
I wish I could meet someone else who has the same "problem"
I have one too, but mine likes to verbally abuses me and isolates me from everyone,,
@@itsjoever414 BRO IT SUCKS, how long does you have yours?
@@eliorato frr it's just few months ago i guess on the half of 2020? It happened bc i feel like reliving on my trauma way back then so
i hope ur doing well there though
Oh I’m not the only one
In my world I'm literally the opposite and I'm lazy weak and small brain and its also other stuff
16:08
That's messed up...to feel more for fake people than real
Valar Morghulis
I pose you this question: How many of you watched the Red Wedding, felt horrible about it, AND felt an overwhelming need to do something about it? What might that right there be?
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
❤️❤️❤️
This hits different after the explosion of Hololive and the graduation of many of its members.
She should have studied LOTR adherants. Bet they are healthier.
?.
Ótimo
Isn’t Fan activism what Geeks and Gamers did for Suicide Awareness
Jessica was a imaginary friend
Bruh Harry Potter book take 3 days not 3hours 😐
That's the hours that you consistently read.
LOL makes me wonder what would happen if woman were asked to do this same questionnaire again but this time there's a fictional character and there's a HUSBAND! Might notice they feel more grief for the fictional character dying. :P
thats why i say no phones
I'm here searching my imaginary friend god but in vain......
You lost me as soon as you brought up white males. The whole point of fictional characters is that you can relate to people who aren't like you as well.
New dimensions of narcissism :(
I don't understand. What does that have to do with narcissism? I mean, you develop good empathy having a parasocial relationship with a fictional character (even though the relationship better not be too strong). Narcissists don't have empathy and are not able to feel for another person.
To me she is crazy 😧😧😧 imaginary friends are real they are souls of departed people which make connections with living beings fro some reasons
Thats a very interesting idea, given that I have two tulpa/ imaginary friend lovers.
Vtubers in a nutshell.
Speaking of fiction, don't forget god and the bible.
While I agree that religion certainly can and in many cases has taken a parasocial arc, the core of the message is the destruction of ego and service to humanity, not the projection of self or vain imagining.
After all, Jesus did not say, “hey, let’s hang out and be pals.” He said, “take up your cross and follow me”, “give up what you have and serve the poor,” etc.
That's metaphysics
Atleast Religion teaches people to be the better versions of themselves and urges them to do good.
Unlike those who self-indulgences in hedonistic ideals and cry about religion
Okay so we were monkeys and when we die nothing will happen?
@@ven4512 , yes, when we die, nothing happens. Religion is like a con artist who promises to give you a billion dollars... after you die. People are so gullible.
My neighbor always was speaking to someone else having a conversation with somebody who doesn't exist he was speaking to somebody i am sure about it
Men probably should have been asked about their fandoms, not para social attachments to fictional characters.
For instance, what if their favorite team went bankrupt and ceased to exist vs the death of an acquaintance.
Wtf? It's not about the feelings you have for actual pretend friends? Lol