This resonates. I just wish bad men would leave good women like us alone. It's so selfish come into our lives only to hurt us knowing full well there is no intention on loving us. Smh. But I believe there are good men who know how to love and won't run off. 😌
And this is y some women choose not 2 b n a relationship, it's easier just b n alone than dealing with these issues, no one wants 2 b hurt. If time is wasted on what might go wrong, u miss out on what could go right.
Some men don't understand the rewards of being the desire, not the necessity. I'm a long-time single, well-educated, childless woman with a successful career. Going in, men find me fun, smart, exciting. But those things quickly fade when they realize I don’t need them. I simply don't. I have life circumstances that have required me to be fiercely independent. However, I want a great man. I want a positive, nourishing relationship. I have yet to meet a man who is willing to meet me where I am. That's the truth. No agenda, just facts.
Personal healing is necessary for both men and women. Yet, not many want to sit alone and go through the pain of self-love and discovery. Some people feel they'll be too old and no one will want them. Because, "personal work" takes too long. Yet, the same brick walls they encounter serve the same pain, blockage to a better person and time served. We all have choices. Self actualization hurts but there is a stronger and better you on the other side. Not a PERFECT you. A stronger and better you that can learn to set boundaries for yourself and your peace. ❤️
This is a word. Dude I was dating told me it would never work because I have my own mind. He also said he just wants a woman he can smoke and drink with. And he said I like too much attention so he has to break me down
#5 is definitely a big one. In the moment of being pushed away, I internalized and thought it was something that was wrong with me (e.g.: not pretty enough or smart enough). But after developing a genuine friendship with him, I learned that he was sexually taken advantage of when he was a child. His therapist told him that him being molested as a child likely contributes to his hypersexual nature and that he doesn’t allow anyone to get close to him emotionally. He has strung women along for years (the longest was 12 yrs); been unfaithful in every single relationship; and justifies his actions by saying “because I can.” I asked him if he could walk pass an open pair of legs without dot dot dot and he dismissed the question and said, “I can only do what y’all women allow me to do…I never said I raped anyone, did I?” Hmm…
@Coach question is: what’s our relationship prospect look like after we did so much healing with one another. are we stronger for it? Sure … but we labored thru so much conflict - is Resilient Love, really the Highest Love?
In our community Black women are on their own. They must have the appropriate energy at work and at home. It’s still about him being in control without brining it to the relationship.
So true. My ex had a lot of these, poor communication, instead if I triggered him he would just disappear and pop up after a few days or a couple weeks like nothing happened. Like he hit pause and I wouldn’t realize he dipped. I address it and I get the excuse that he was working from 6am to midnight..okkk, your phone is in your hand literally all day for your job. And you work for yourself!! He ended things after he forgot my birthday, another 2 week disappearance , then slow walk out for a month or so, with the “let’s talk” conversation that was supposed to happen never happening. I didn’t initiate it because he asked me to talk..feeling disappointed, I didn’t communicate properly either, but have leveled up and am ready now for serious conversations from now on. His excuses changed, I deserve better, he has to fix himself so he can stop hurting people, his ex messed him up, maybe I’m to fit, he’s attracted to overweight women( I’m pretty much the same size as when he met me, lost the 40lbs I put on during COVID of which we were not together) and I saw a pic of an ex of his who is like 3 sizes smaller than me and not black. Dude is a runner period. If a man won’t fight with you for a relationship, he certainly won’t fight for you in life. Level up men! You’re missing your blessings. Life is to short!
My case is not much different, he was so good at the beginning then started taking so long to open my msgs (hours) while being active on whatsapp, I addressed the issue in a calm way in a msg he called me saying don't think bad of me and that we will discuss it, the next day he did the same so I sent him a voice note stating that I'm done and I won't tolerate this kind of disrespectful behavior, he called me straight away while at work and he was willing to discuss so we agreed to continue the discussion at night and yes we had a very calm and fruitful conversation he listened to me and accepted his shortcoming by not prioritizing me and promised that he will change and invest more when the weekend came he just sent Mr few msgs during the day then disappeared for the rest of the weekend I didn't contact him , on Monday he sent me the usual good morning love msg as if nothing happened, so I told him to call me whenever he has time to have discuss things , he disappeared again for few days I didn't contact him , then I noticed that he posted a status indicating that he has problems, so I sent him a message saying that if he wants to share I will be there for him , he replied saying; I'm sorry you are a wonderful woman with a good heart and character but due to alot of family issues back in his country and alot of work he can't give me much attention, it was confusing, because he said I can't, not I couldn't, which made me record a long voice note addressed all my concerns and offered him the last chance to join me to work together to strengthen our relationship and make it work and if he's not willing I asked to say it clearly so I will step back for good ... my voice msgs were not opened, next day he sent me the usual good morning my love msgs lol I was boiling but I tried to be patient I thought it's not the right time to pressure him so I acted normally then reminded him the next day in a very nice way yo do not forget to listen to my voice notes as they are crucial for me , what was his reply : I will never forget a wonderful woman like you ...never ❤❤❤❤ lol And he still didn't open it 🙈 , in the weekend , he srnt me a video from work saying that is working this Saturday , i replied then I had a problem with my router so I lost the connection, it was back only on Monday and I was shocked that he didn't even notice my absence on Sunday didn't send anything , but sent me a spiritual video on Monday about heartbreak its religious one not romantic, I got really frustrated and I I called him he didn't pick up so I sent him a long msg saying that I won't tolerate this anymore and I broke up with him and guess what, he opened the msg he didn't even read it fully because his reply was Sorry I was at the gym when you called me , I'm working from 15 to 1am this week lol Then I think he read it fully later and didn't react. It disappeared today it's been 13 days ,and btw my voice note are still unopened😂, It hurted me alot but I'm glad I didn't chase and I ended it up before he does lol
Wish I knew about women and read relationship books to prepare myself about women. I didn’t feel like I was a good boyfriend, but her making me insecure and calling me a friend when we were in a relationship gave mixed signals. I wanted my ex back but she kept telling me to fuk off several times. I ended our time together via phone call but wished I had a face to face to either get a second chance or closure. She did agree to meet up with me after showing her my car but wanted £225 to have her hair, nails, feet and lashes done. She agreed to see me if I paid her the money along with a bottle of baileys. I did everything but she blew out three hours before I was suppose to collect her. She told me she had no intention of seeing me and wanted to hurt me so much that I’d finally leave her alone. She manipulated me for the money. I felt so destroyed because I loved her so much and wanted to put things right. Even if she told me she wasn’t interested to my face, I would have accepted it and left her alone. Very heartbreaking experience caused by my lack of experience
Coach Ken you are so true what you are talking about how men use to do, I use to call it for being a coward, its better for both of us to know where the other one wants or not want to do
This is all spot on. I felt overpowered and bullied at times and didn’t bring that masculine energy. All I did was bring negative energy and didn’t want her to suffer so I ended it to make her happy. She changed our relationship to situationship and didn’t understand what that meant. It never felt like a relationship because she blew out a lot when it came to meeting up and didn’t want to spend money on me. I spent nearly £1000 on her over 7 weeks. I take blame for the collapse due to being insecure, lacked confidence, negative and overthinking a lot. She made me insecure by comparing me to other guys and her ex’s. We never had sex and she told me my genitals looked like a 7 year old, so I knew there was no chance. This was my first relationship/situationship at the age of 41. She was older than me but didn’t really know her age
Thank you for this video! It validated a lot of things I already knew. I sensed #5 happening in a new relationship that went 2 months. The relationship was great but the man constantly mentioned his Ex and their issues as if they were happening in the present. I tried reassuring him that I was nothing like her and we wouldn't face the same issues but recently he began pushing me away even though he himself told me he felt so good and our relationship was so perfect that he fears something happening and is waiting for the other shoe to drop...
You are making excuses for men who just don’t want to do the work to be a part of a really quality shared relationship. I agree about men and women not wanting to connect with a painful past.
Communication is the key...are you saying men are not evolved enough or emotionally intellectual enough to speak their truth w/someone they supposedly love? They'd rather leave than talk abt it? Expectations must be communicated on both sides...no one is a mind reader. I 'ont know...its like you need a Phd for this relationship stuff🤔
25 yrs after the divorce my ex husband admitted he purposely destroyed the marriage bc I was on a successful career path and he was afraid I would leave him.
This is the third time I've got. You're a great woman, BUT.... these dating apps have ruined everything we have been reduced to a swipe. Internet pornography it's a mess I am a widow, a good woman. A Christian woman and when I set my boundaries. That's what I get. They're afraid to hurt me. Because i'm a widow, maybe it's protection
1. 1:29 he does not want to elevate: he doesn't wanna become a better version of himself (getting uncomfortable) 2. 2:50 he's intimidated: a lot of women are super successful, and maybe make more money than him. She knows who she is, she knows what she wants, and she wants you to be in your life but doesn't need you to complete her. 3. 4:24 she can't be controlled: both men and women submit to each other in the relationship, it's about both of us getting our needs met. 4. 5:48 his results did not equal his expectations: we all have an expectation even we enter the relationship. E.g. he's gonna be a gentleman all the time, e.g. she's gonna give me sex 5 times a week. But a lot of times we don't make those expectations known. Lack of communication always leads to miscommunication. 5. 7:43 he wants to avoid his painful past: there are aspects of the relationship that remind us of a part of our life we want to forget. Create a safe environment where he can express himself. 6. 9:24 your masculine energy is too much: women are progressing, they're super smart, but they've adopted this masculine energy too excel in the workplace. But don't bring it home. Men don't know how to deal with masculine energy coming from a woman.
This resonates. I just wish bad men would leave good women like us alone. It's so selfish come into our lives only to hurt us knowing full well there is no intention on loving us. Smh. But I believe there are good men who know how to love and won't run off. 😌
And this is y some women choose not 2 b n a relationship, it's easier just b n alone than dealing with these issues, no one wants 2 b hurt. If time is wasted on what might go wrong, u miss out on what could go right.
Thanks for watching
Some men don't understand the rewards of being the desire, not the necessity. I'm a long-time single, well-educated, childless woman with a successful career. Going in, men find me fun, smart, exciting. But those things quickly fade when they realize I don’t need them. I simply don't. I have life circumstances that have required me to be fiercely independent. However, I want a great man. I want a positive, nourishing relationship. I have yet to meet a man who is willing to meet me where I am. That's the truth. No agenda, just facts.
They are unsure they can measure up to a womans expectations.
Not unsure. They "know" they cannot.
Personal healing is necessary for both men and women. Yet, not many want to sit alone and go through the pain of self-love and discovery.
Some people feel they'll be too old and no one will want them. Because, "personal work" takes too long. Yet, the same brick walls they encounter serve the same pain, blockage to a better person and time served. We all have choices.
Self actualization hurts but there is a stronger and better you on the other side. Not a PERFECT you. A stronger and better you that can learn to set boundaries for yourself and your peace. ❤️
Spot on!
Beautiful
This is a word. Dude I was dating told me it would never work because I have my own mind. He also said he just wants a woman he can smoke and drink with. And he said I like too much attention so he has to break me down
Wooooow
Oooohweeee, You DODGED a bullet with that one‼️ Thank God for allowing that brother to be honest...that protected U❣🙏😇
Wow
Damn! That’s bold AF. Tbh I rather be punched right in the face with the BS than be sucker punched a year later when I’m not looking
That's absolutely disgusting.
What you are saying is so true because, I was talking to someone recently, and he just stop communicating with me, without an explanation.......
He prefers the woman with a scarcity mindset. Sadly she will do the most , share him, and tolerate the most without receiving love from him.
He wants to avoid his painful past,💯
#5 is definitely a big one. In the moment of being pushed away, I internalized and thought it was something that was wrong with me (e.g.: not pretty enough or smart enough). But after developing a genuine friendship with him, I learned that he was sexually taken advantage of when he was a child. His therapist told him that him being molested as a child likely contributes to his hypersexual nature and that he doesn’t allow anyone to get close to him emotionally. He has strung women along for years (the longest was 12 yrs); been unfaithful in every single relationship; and justifies his actions by saying “because I can.” I asked him if he could walk pass an open pair of legs without dot dot dot and he dismissed the question and said, “I can only do what y’all women allow me to do…I never said I raped anyone, did I?” Hmm…
WOW. I think he pushed me away in the beginning for ALL those reasons. it was trying times. but we both got the opportunity to grow.
@Coach question is: what’s our relationship prospect look like after we did so much healing with one another. are we stronger for it? Sure … but we labored thru so much conflict - is Resilient Love, really the Highest Love?
I definitely need to work on being a better communicator. I'm naturally non-confrontational unless I get to the breaking point (then I yell).
In our community Black women are on their own. They must have the appropriate energy at work and at home. It’s still about him being in control without brining it to the relationship.
You came out the gate swinging! Great content. Thank you.
Awesome! Thank you!
So true. My ex had a lot of these, poor communication, instead if I triggered him he would just disappear and pop up after a few days or a couple weeks like nothing happened. Like he hit pause and I wouldn’t realize he dipped. I address it and I get the excuse that he was working from 6am to midnight..okkk, your phone is in your hand literally all day for your job. And you work for yourself!! He ended things after he forgot my birthday, another 2 week disappearance , then slow walk out for a month or so, with the “let’s talk” conversation that was supposed to happen never happening. I didn’t initiate it because he asked me to talk..feeling disappointed, I didn’t communicate properly either, but have leveled up and am ready now for serious conversations from now on. His excuses changed, I deserve better, he has to fix himself so he can stop hurting people, his ex messed him up, maybe I’m to fit, he’s attracted to overweight women( I’m pretty much the same size as when he met me, lost the 40lbs I put on during COVID of which we were not together) and I saw a pic of an ex of his who is like 3 sizes smaller than me and not black. Dude is a runner period. If a man won’t fight with you for a relationship, he certainly won’t fight for you in life. Level up men! You’re missing your blessings.
Life is to short!
My case is not much different, he was so good at the beginning then started taking so long to open my msgs (hours) while being active on whatsapp, I addressed the issue in a calm way in a msg he called me saying don't think bad of me and that we will discuss it, the next day he did the same so I sent him a voice note stating that I'm done and I won't tolerate this kind of disrespectful behavior, he called me straight away while at work and he was willing to discuss so we agreed to continue the discussion at night and yes we had a very calm and fruitful conversation he listened to me and accepted his shortcoming by not prioritizing me and promised that he will change and invest more when the weekend came he just sent Mr few msgs during the day then disappeared for the rest of the weekend I didn't contact him , on Monday he sent me the usual good morning love msg as if nothing happened, so I told him to call me whenever he has time to have discuss things , he disappeared again for few days I didn't contact him , then I noticed that he posted a status indicating that he has problems, so I sent him a message saying that if he wants to share I will be there for him , he replied saying; I'm sorry you are a wonderful woman with a good heart and character but due to alot of family issues back in his country and alot of work he can't give me much attention, it was confusing, because he said I can't, not I couldn't, which made me record a long voice note addressed all my concerns and offered him the last chance to join me to work together to strengthen our relationship and make it work and if he's not willing I asked to say it clearly so I will step back for good ... my voice msgs were not opened, next day he sent me the usual good morning my love msgs lol I was boiling but I tried to be patient I thought it's not the right time to pressure him so I acted normally then reminded him the next day in a very nice way yo do not forget to listen to my voice notes as they are crucial for me , what was his reply : I will never forget a wonderful woman like you ...never ❤❤❤❤ lol
And he still didn't open it 🙈 , in the weekend , he srnt me a video from work saying that is working this Saturday , i replied then I had a problem with my router so I lost the connection, it was back only on Monday and I was shocked that he didn't even notice my absence on Sunday didn't send anything , but sent me a spiritual video on Monday about heartbreak its religious one not romantic, I got really frustrated and I I called him he didn't pick up so I sent him a long msg saying that I won't tolerate this anymore and I broke up with him and guess what, he opened the msg he didn't even read it fully because his reply was
Sorry I was at the gym when you called me , I'm working from 15 to 1am this week lol
Then I think he read it fully later and didn't react. It disappeared today it's been 13 days ,and btw my voice note are still unopened😂, It hurted me alot but I'm glad I didn't chase and I ended it up before he does lol
Wish I knew about women and read relationship books to prepare myself about women.
I didn’t feel like I was a good boyfriend, but her making me insecure and calling me a friend when we were in a relationship gave mixed signals.
I wanted my ex back but she kept telling me to fuk off several times. I ended our time together via phone call but wished I had a face to face to either get a second chance or closure.
She did agree to meet up with me after showing her my car but wanted £225 to have her hair, nails, feet and lashes done. She agreed to see me if I paid her the money along with a bottle of baileys. I did everything but she blew out three hours before I was suppose to collect her. She told me she had no intention of seeing me and wanted to hurt me so much that I’d finally leave her alone. She manipulated me for the money. I felt so destroyed because I loved her so much and wanted to put things right. Even if she told me she wasn’t interested to my face, I would have accepted it and left her alone. Very heartbreaking experience caused by my lack of experience
Coach Ken you are so true what you are talking about how men use to do, I use to call it for being a coward, its better for both of us to know where the other one wants or not want to do
Thank u
I think I like the Longs better than the short Tick Tock version! Thank you for spelling it out
I am going to do more long form videos. The shorts helped me build my channel. Its youtube's algorithm
@@CoachKenCanion also I need all the help I can get!
This is all spot on.
I felt overpowered and bullied at times and didn’t bring that masculine energy. All I did was bring negative energy and didn’t want her to suffer so I ended it to make her happy. She changed our relationship to situationship and didn’t understand what that meant.
It never felt like a relationship because she blew out a lot when it came to meeting up and didn’t want to spend money on me. I spent nearly £1000 on her over 7 weeks.
I take blame for the collapse due to being insecure, lacked confidence, negative and overthinking a lot.
She made me insecure by comparing me to other guys and her ex’s. We never had sex and she told me my genitals looked like a 7 year old, so I knew there was no chance.
This was my first relationship/situationship at the age of 41. She was older than me but didn’t really know her age
I enjoy learning new terminology in relationships. Coach you take it deep and bring it to the surface! Keeping it 100 thank you coach DD
I appreciate you
Thank you for this video! It validated a lot of things I already knew. I sensed #5 happening in a new relationship that went 2 months. The relationship was great but the man constantly mentioned his Ex and their issues as if they were happening in the present. I tried reassuring him that I was nothing like her and we wouldn't face the same issues but recently he began pushing me away even though he himself told me he felt so good and our relationship was so perfect that he fears something happening and is waiting for the other shoe to drop...
Such a awesome coach i have a whole family and still learn from you Mr Ken😊🇵🇦
I appreciate that!
@CoachKenCanion Hopefully you can mentor the youth if not already
Men have so many hurts they have not faced, and this is a shame.Most black men have been through so much due to the system!
Still not a excuse
And past hurt from a lot of woman .. being aggressive, manipulative, fake, crazy and just not honest in wanting to be friends or a relationship
..... Oh gosh. Another coddler.
That's not an excuse for them to treat women like crap!
This is Deep. Thank you.
You're very welcome
I've learned alot from your videos. Thanks!
Thanks for watching
I'm not a man but this sounds logical. Talking from experience.
Good word.
You are making excuses for men who just don’t want to do the work to be a part of a really quality shared relationship.
I agree about men and women not wanting to connect with a painful past.
I would like to see you do a video on how a women show a man respect since they claim that is more important than love.
Because they ain't???? Exactly!
Can you elaborate with concrete examples regarding the masculine energy from a woman?
Communication is the key...are you saying men are not evolved enough or emotionally intellectual enough to speak their truth w/someone they supposedly love? They'd rather leave than talk abt it? Expectations must be communicated on both sides...no one is a mind reader. I 'ont know...its like you need a Phd for this relationship stuff🤔
You hit this thanks glad I found this
Thanks for listening
Pure Facts 100% truth
How do women display masculine energy?. Please explain by giving an example. Thanks in advanve
And what about when he pushes you away and then suddenly shows up with someone new? 😢💔
25 yrs after the divorce my ex husband admitted he purposely destroyed the marriage bc I was on a successful career path and he was afraid I would leave him.
#5 is it !! This guy I met had relationships with women but never found a wife and kinda scared & moving slow
This is the third time I've got. You're a great woman, BUT.... these dating apps have ruined everything we have been reduced to a swipe. Internet pornography it's a mess I am a widow, a good woman. A Christian woman and when I set my boundaries. That's what I get. They're afraid to hurt me. Because i'm a widow, maybe it's protection
I like it
💛
1. 1:29 he does not want to elevate: he doesn't wanna become a better version of himself (getting uncomfortable)
2. 2:50 he's intimidated: a lot of women are super successful, and maybe make more money than him. She knows who she is, she knows what she wants, and she wants you to be in your life but doesn't need you to complete her.
3. 4:24 she can't be controlled: both men and women submit to each other in the relationship, it's about both of us getting our needs met.
4. 5:48 his results did not equal his expectations: we all have an expectation even we enter the relationship. E.g. he's gonna be a gentleman all the time, e.g. she's gonna give me sex 5 times a week. But a lot of times we don't make those expectations known. Lack of communication always leads to miscommunication.
5. 7:43 he wants to avoid his painful past: there are aspects of the relationship that remind us of a part of our life we want to forget. Create a safe environment where he can express himself.
6. 9:24 your masculine energy is too much: women are progressing, they're super smart, but they've adopted this masculine energy too excel in the workplace. But don't bring it home. Men don't know how to deal with masculine energy coming from a woman.
❤
💯💯❤️❤️
Apparently, I have all of these points.
❤❤🎉
3:04 but she might lil
Let's talk about men having too much feminine energy.
To sum up bcs they are bipolar lol