Rhett's Spiritual Deconstruction

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  • Опубликовано: 8 фев 2020
  • Even through some emotionally torturous times, it all came down to uncovering the truth. Listen to Rhett reveal all about his spiritual journey and the evolution of his beliefs in this episode of Ear Biscuits!
    EB #226, Original Release Date: 02/03/2020
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Комментарии • 8 тыс.

  • @emmabarhydt2019
    @emmabarhydt2019 Год назад +2832

    “Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.”
    ― Haruki Murakami

    • @rachelk4805
      @rachelk4805 Год назад +43

      Wow, I love this, I will try to live up to it.

    • @frankensteinlives
      @frankensteinlives Год назад +5

      Thank you for this

    • @HetVarken
      @HetVarken Год назад +22

      Some peoples reality can be dangerous to others though..

    • @silversalmon9909
      @silversalmon9909 Год назад +73

      @@HetVarken yes. Still, be kind. It'll help them grow. If you aren't kind, they might retreat to their dangerous reality again.

    • @xrphoenix7194
      @xrphoenix7194 Год назад +9

      @@silversalmon9909 great point. A good example is Daryl Davis

  • @owenweiss9647
    @owenweiss9647 4 года назад +3673

    When he said "I dont know what happens after I die but I'm more interested in what happens while I'm alive... this life is the only thing I know for certain that I've got" I was like DAMN

    • @avery-ej2qs
      @avery-ej2qs 4 года назад +23

      Owen Weiss I started crying there

    • @danielvanoaksiii4018
      @danielvanoaksiii4018 4 года назад +43

      “Wo unto those who say, ‘Yeah, eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die... and if it be that we are found lacking God shall beat us with a few stripes and at last we shall be saved.” (Paraphrased) Almost no one is ambiguous about having this life, what faith and some actual study will do is produce answers beyond what’s right in front of you nose. The YOLO argument has been made a million times biblically and at present, and it’s just as idiotic now as it was then.

    • @lanmandragoran8337
      @lanmandragoran8337 4 года назад +67

      Its the only ONLY logical way to live, and any other way is pure idiocy and possible ignorance. Pure idiocy to assume there is an afterlife. We dream of such a wonder because we do not wish to cease to exist. We wish to live on forever. Life is its own divinity, do not waste it on imaginary friends. Use your life to heighten the lives of those you can influence on a day to day. Live on forever in the thoughts and hearts of the people whos lives you've made better, and by proxy, their offspring whos life was made better for it.
      If there is a god, I am disappointed, could not and would not accept his invitation to be anywhere near him. If there is an omnipotence that allows life as it is, it disgusts me. Let there be a heaven, I choose any other option, with purpose.

    • @ramigilneas9274
      @ramigilneas9274 4 года назад +47

      Daniel Van Oaks III
      Well, there isn’t a shred of evidence for an afterlife and mountains of evidence against the claims of all religions... so making the best out of this life is the only reasonable option.
      But if you need religion as a crutch and would harm others or off yourself then please continue believing.😉

    • @Mephilis78
      @Mephilis78 3 года назад

      Damn obvious?

  • @nelateulon7446
    @nelateulon7446 2 года назад +2101

    Rhett. I cried. "Hopeful agnostic", me too. So open, so honest, so noble. I really appreciate you.

    • @spudlover3939
      @spudlover3939 Год назад +47

      I've been there. Personally, I've found a lot of peace through exploring philosophy. Taoism, cynicism, and absurdism have all been fascinating to learn about. I don't treat them as doctrine, but rather comforting and engaging ideas. I wish you the best in your journey.

    • @fmadiva
      @fmadiva Год назад +4

      I feel like this should be a term cause that's me too

    • @aruhtaz
      @aruhtaz Год назад

      I have always had questions like: What is "nothing" or "eternity" really like no matter what you believe, after you die? Where do you go? And of course, it wasn't long until the answers I was given at my Christian school did not suffice (nothing against Christian schools... it was a bubble, but majority a lovely, close-knit, and generative community... But Im sure you understand my insatiable urge to "look over the wall"...) And these questions I believe every human being capable of reasoning struggle with deep down in their souls. There are so many things beyond our (humanity's) knowledge (Truth is stranger than fiction since fiction must derive from truths...) But in the illusion of technology (which, to clarify, is not a bad thing in my perspective,) many of us forget what it is that unites us instead of divide... that we are all so clueless. Sure you might have kids and say at least theyll live on... but one day theyll die... Or, you might be afraid of death but content with a spouse, knowing that you wont die alone... but we know in that last splitting moment of your soul letting go (you slipping from conscious to biological unconsciousness, I dont even want to comment on the "if youre "spiritually" conscious" transition...) of its physical vessel, you will face it alone... Reality is already so complex and we already have scary (or exciting, to each their own...) axioms (death after life... and the certainty of a complete Blackbox for what that experience might be like...) Why have we (generalizing...) lost our perspectives that we are all here, then away, in a blink of an eye? Anyways, if you are a fan of long form podcasts... this episode (feel free to skip all the parts you find boring) goes into the same kind of paradox of finding hope in a seemingly (to the extent of our cognition) hopeless world: ruclips.net/video/Osh0-J3T2nY/видео.html
      "It is impossible to be a mathematician without being a poet in the soul." - Sofya Kovalevskaya Echoing the paradox of: The heroic poetry of humans even attempting to find elegant, systemwide solutions to a, very evidently, chaotic and complex world... like, Why DuDe? lol.
      Also, this "hopeful agnostic" phrase made me recall another paradox of a movie I've seen called "Her", it echoes the paradox of: what does it mean to truly learn how to love someone or something? could be fun for your spiritual explorations and perspective on paradoxes.
      Link: ruclips.net/video/PXTQwRf7iRg/видео.html
      The journey might be tiring, but at least it's a journey. Who knows? The destination might be incredibly, austere (An eternity of paradise??? Pft, who wants that???)
      pce

    • @nelateulon7446
      @nelateulon7446 Год назад +2

      @@spudlover3939 Thank you for taking the time to answer my comment. I think the best part is that it does feel like I have company in this journey.

    • @CharlesPayet
      @CharlesPayet Год назад +3

      Just have to comment that I gave the 666th Like on this comment, and it’s silly.

  • @GamerDad29
    @GamerDad29 5 месяцев назад +362

    Rhett, don't know if you'll see this buddy - 40 y/o married father of 4 here - been a Christian for 24 years...was going to be a pastor, read all the books, etc. I am in the process that you went through in this video - honestly, I wasn't ready to hear it 3 years ago - I listened to it all today. Thank you for your huimility my guy - appreciated.

    • @sean_miller
      @sean_miller 5 месяцев назад +23

      In a similar place bro. Been a Christian for 27 years. Worship leader. Love my church, love the Christian community. Heck, I can still stand in a worship service and absolutely “feel” God. However, I don’t know what any of that means anymore. I don’t want to deconstruct at all, but I feel like I’ve seen behind the proverbial curtain a few too many times.

    • @daniellamcgee4251
      @daniellamcgee4251 5 месяцев назад +7

      ​​@@sean_millerComfort with all you have known vs truth and the unknown. It takes courage to live authentically, with integrity. But it makes a world of difference, and opens up new opportunities and new healthy relationships.

    • @ardbegthequestion
      @ardbegthequestion 5 месяцев назад

      @@sean_miller - Tender for where you're at. I left faith in 2016 after 30+ years in. Played on worship teams, was tech staffer at a very prominent church and then moved into the Anglican denom for a while before the doubts and thoughts and lack of experience left me nowhere to go but leave. If you ever need a person to chat with, I'm game...

    • @drewchristner3750
      @drewchristner3750 5 месяцев назад +7

      @@sean_millerI left the church completely when I was still young so I can’t completely relate, but I’ve heard from others who’ve gone through deconstruction that there is no goal or endpoint, it’s about finding what’s right for you and breaking down the parts that keep you from being your happiest self. This means you can keep faith if that’s what’s right for your life so don’t ever feel like you need to abandon everything to be valid in your journey

    • @CherubEros
      @CherubEros 4 месяца назад +2

      I actually got back into the faith. Didn’t have much faith to begin with. In a metaphysical way, came to believe in a god, just thru philosophy. I accept that a lot of it is just stories, but the point is faith, meaning and purpose. You can find it in other religions, it’s just this one preaches to love your enemy, love your neighbor, love every sinner, and to forgive; things I feel is hard for the world to do. I want that, for I love this world, every person is me with different problems.

  • @BigDaddyWes
    @BigDaddyWes 4 года назад +4874

    "The truth had to be more important than my ideology." That is wisdom.

    • @Nalijay
      @Nalijay 3 года назад +111

      So true. Shame that many people equate their own belief with truth when those aren't necessarily the same thing.

    • @marialamb6781
      @marialamb6781 3 года назад +9

      What you said is very true!
      So, Is God real or is he just an ideology that people make up in their head to believe so they can feel good or worse use to control people?
      Is God real?
      What makes what those scientists say be truth, INSTEAD of what God says in the Bible?
      It takes more faith 💁🏻‍♀️ to believe that ALL OF CREATION came together in all of its beauty and complexity by chance over time than to simply believe that an intelligent All powerful God created and designed it all and orchestrated it all.
      Uh huh!

    • @tracyavent-costanza346
      @tracyavent-costanza346 3 года назад +5

      yep, once you get to that realization, the "belief" part can no longer be of much comfort and really becomes a liability.

    • @BigDaddyWes
      @BigDaddyWes 3 года назад +92

      @@marialamb6781 I don't think your comment is really deserving of a conversation as this misled rhetoric has been used countless times before. Nothing anyone could possibly say, no amount of explanation of the complete history of life and how it evolved, and how we know these things as facts, could convince you of anything other than what you already believe. Plus you said life is random and you believe in intelligent design, so you're really a lost cause at this point. It's not worth deconstructing your point of view and refuting your claims. I just encourage you to educate yourself.

    • @ctvtmo
      @ctvtmo 3 года назад +7

      But can one's ideology justify the the existence of truth? That is a question, it seems, that Rhett has never asked himself.

  • @pascaltarian
    @pascaltarian 4 года назад +2134

    the story where Link almost kill a mythical beast got me cracking up 'just seen ya'll in the Audi almost hit me love the show lol'

    • @danterodriguez03
      @danterodriguez03 4 года назад +116

      Imagine you go to buy bread and you almost die because of this two

    • @itsjohnthomas
      @itsjohnthomas 4 года назад +73

      James Charles I like how the person messaged Rhett and not Link ...

    • @saruwatarisa
      @saruwatarisa 4 года назад +16

      Same xD the realization on Link's face is funny

    • @skylarworley5188
      @skylarworley5188 3 года назад +3

      @@itsjohnthomas Its like, you already almost killed me, I don't want to anger your inbox 🤣

    • @eklectiktoni
      @eklectiktoni 3 года назад +3

      That was too funny.

  • @Hopeful567
    @Hopeful567 Год назад +961

    Coming back 3 years later to listen to this. I wasn’t ready at the time, but am now at a point in my deconstruction to where I am. Thank you for the incredible work you do.

    • @ricecake3215
      @ricecake3215 Год назад +20

      Right there with you

    • @amloyd77
      @amloyd77 Год назад +21

      Same! I am re-listening as I originally listened 3 years ago, at the beginning of my deconstruction. Now, with more space and time to come to some of my own realizations this is hitting in a different, but such a beneficial, way.

    • @Hopeful567
      @Hopeful567 Год назад +3

      @@amloyd77 Thank you for sharing your experience! I completely resonate with everything you share. I too had to get to a place where I felt safe to listen to what they had to share.

    • @MoonflowerWitch
      @MoonflowerWitch Год назад +16

      Same. I was still fully christian the first time I saw this, and couldn't get through it. It made me so sad. Now I relate so much to everything he's saying, and I'm planning to look into some of the resources he gave to aid in my own deconstruction.

    • @daniellesmith3955
      @daniellesmith3955 11 месяцев назад +8

      Listening for the first time to this series - I've been deconstructing for about 5 years but only recently got back into Rhett and Link. It's encouraging to hear these stories (and other comments) and know it's going to be ok, because I still have a lot of grief. Reality breaking a part is painful, but at the same time there is a joy and freedom where I am now too. Sending love to all y'all post-evangelicals!

  • @ChrisSmith-xr2ss
    @ChrisSmith-xr2ss 10 месяцев назад +677

    3 years later, and this was the episode that kicked it off for me. Left Mormonism after being in it all my life and this specific episode when it came out was what convinced me to start answering my questions for real.

    • @apersonontheinternet8354
      @apersonontheinternet8354 10 месяцев назад +22

      Congrats 👍

    • @amandawhittemore5078
      @amandawhittemore5078 9 месяцев назад +12

      I feel freeing and I hope you do too.

    • @fibbintiggins2858
      @fibbintiggins2858 8 месяцев назад +29

      Leaving Mormonism was the best decision of my life. Glad you were able to pull it off

    • @austinfowler2707
      @austinfowler2707 8 месяцев назад +16

      And mormanism is a special case, because it's a relatively new religion compared to the others
      Designed with Americans in mind. So artificially made.

    • @dallinorr6929
      @dallinorr6929 8 месяцев назад +4

      @@austinfowler2707 Well said. Maybe I didn't last because I'm Canadian. lol (jk) But you are exactly right.

  • @blobfish.
    @blobfish. 3 года назад +2302

    "what if I am wrong about this?" is such a powerful question and something we should ask ourselves every day, about everything. We shouldn't be ashamed to realise we're wrong about something, instead we should be grateful to learn. Thanks for being so open Rhett.

    • @The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate
      @The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate 3 года назад +81

      Letting yourself be open to the possibility that you are completely wrong every now and then is the most important key to wisdom in my opinion.

    • @pineapplepenumbra
      @pineapplepenumbra 3 года назад +8

      @@The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate But what if you're wrong about that...?

    • @The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate
      @The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate 3 года назад +23

      @@pineapplepenumbra I most definitely could be. Surely I am open to listen what could be the "most" important thing. But it would take a pretty compelling argument for me to believe that it is unimportant. 😝

    • @pineapplepenumbra
      @pineapplepenumbra 3 года назад +8

      @@The_Guy_You_Love_To_Hate Well that's an argument that I shall not even bother to consider undertaking :-)

    • @casmeraki
      @casmeraki 3 года назад +18

      My belief is noone knows what the heck they are doing and everyone is wrong. And it's okay to question it. You can believe all you want but it's okay and even CREATIVE to question everything you think you know

  • @poppyEars
    @poppyEars 4 года назад +644

    I love how studiously Link is taking notes about his bff

    • @1kings18apologetics6
      @1kings18apologetics6 4 года назад +58

      Studiously taking notes like he did in church after being glared at for giggling and passing notes to Rhett.

    • @EricGranata
      @EricGranata 4 года назад +6

      I noticed that too. It’s nice.

    • @wendybabendy
      @wendybabendy 4 года назад +6

      @Spookay T'is Me He even said that in the beginning - I think they've taken the same journey and he wants to make sure to highlight the similarities.

    • @bunnybelllove5565
      @bunnybelllove5565 4 года назад

      What is their religion currently

    • @janemh5866
      @janemh5866 4 года назад +1

      Spookay T'is Me well that is taking notes

  • @OllieOllieOxenfr33
    @OllieOllieOxenfr33 Год назад +606

    I was a Jehovah’s Witness and had to skip this when it first came out.
    Last year I realized my religion wasn’t the one true religion and I gotta say just y’all posting this and me reading these titles helped nudge me in the right direction ☺️
    Thank you for your bravery and talking about difficult subjects!!!!

    • @CWIverson
      @CWIverson Год назад +30

      I had just decided to not be a witness when this came out. It was an emotional experience watching it back then and I identified so much with their stories. Stay strong, I know it can be tough when you leave the witnesses.

    • @girluninterrupted2144
      @girluninterrupted2144 Год назад +19

      Oh my God me!!! Me too!! I’m at the beginning of the video but I just know this is gonna be so helpful

    • @stewartking4928
      @stewartking4928 Год назад +12

      Ex jw here too.

    • @VintageDarkCrystal
      @VintageDarkCrystal Год назад +17

      Ex JW here, too, born and raised. I left 17 years ago when I was 23, but I still carry a lot of religious trauma and upset, but leaving that cult was the best thing I ever did 🖤

    • @Mach10X
      @Mach10X Год назад +22

      JW is a pretty scary group to get out of. The BITE model was developed to help analyze and quantify cult behaviors. The BITE model is a framework developed by Steven Hassan, a mental health professional and cult expert, to identify and evaluate the control mechanisms used by high-control groups and cults. BITE stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control. The Jehovah's Witnesses organization has been criticized for exhibiting various aspects of the BITE model, such as controlling members' behavior through strict rules, regulating access to information, influencing thought processes by discouraging critical thinking, and manipulating emotions through fear and guilt.

  • @user-sx1fg7lc3c
    @user-sx1fg7lc3c Год назад +1160

    To dismiss this man's experience as a simple move to LA is so incredibly ignorant and hurtful. And I think it's something someone would say who doesn't want to admit they have had some of the same questions about their own faith. This was very clearly a long and painful process for Rhett and I really appreciate him being vulnerable and sharing this.

    • @Needassistance
      @Needassistance Год назад +12

      LA has a big part of it no doubt about it

    • @blkbnnybrs99
      @blkbnnybrs99 Год назад +108

      @@Needassistanceeh. A lot of people in other areas come to the same beliefs though.

    • @ambersummer2685
      @ambersummer2685 Год назад +100

      I know. They assume it’s so easy walking away.
      It’s very uncomfortable and lonely

    • @Corporate_Desecration
      @Corporate_Desecration Год назад +86

      @@Needassistancemy parents said the same thing when I moved to Chicago, but ironically enough my experience going to a Christian university (which my parents encouraged) played the most significant role in my deconstruction. Being exposed to new cultures and ideology can raise questions, but it’s very patronizing to reduce the cause of someone’s deconstruction to something so fickle.

    • @Sharon-fw9qw
      @Sharon-fw9qw Год назад +13

      It Is a long and painful process!!

  • @elenaforgiarini5356
    @elenaforgiarini5356 4 года назад +7172

    I would LOVE to hear Christy and Jessie's side of this story. Sounds like such an interesting journey being on the other side of this journey and having to "keep up"

    • @kaarlina4258
      @kaarlina4258 4 года назад +177

      Exactly.... Their side of this would really add so much value ❤️

    • @emilypresleysee
      @emilypresleysee 4 года назад +44

      Yes! I had the same thought!!

    • @voterpro9607
      @voterpro9607 4 года назад +187

      I agree completely. I think it would be really interesting to hear how it affected other people in their lives. Kids and other relatives as well. Probably not have them come on, but just have Rhett and Link share how they reacted and their thoughts. Like how Rhett's brother felt, especially because of how he was involved in CRU as well.

    • @rachelnanshija251
      @rachelnanshija251 4 года назад +8

      Agreed.

    • @ranrancrabgrabber
      @ranrancrabgrabber 4 года назад +6

      saame

  • @tarnishedsilver7327
    @tarnishedsilver7327 2 года назад +3916

    As a former pastor who walked away from faith and still lives in the south, thank you for this. It is comforting to hear the story of the exact same process I experienced. This talk is invaluable.

    • @thepalestiniankufiya
      @thepalestiniankufiya 2 года назад +2

      Have you looked at any other religions

    • @izzycampbell6933
      @izzycampbell6933 2 года назад +130

      it's interesting how a lot of us independently arrived at the same conclusion. to me, it is good evidence that we are on the right track

    • @thepalestiniankufiya
      @thepalestiniankufiya 2 года назад +10

      @@izzycampbell6933 what do you mean by right track

    • @bobmilleit1976
      @bobmilleit1976 2 года назад +1

      Funny about this because I went completely backwards from all of you. I don’t associate with the Christian church, but it’s very funny.

    • @user-mp7yz2qt2t
      @user-mp7yz2qt2t 2 года назад +7

      I went the other way around

  • @diegoleal1207
    @diegoleal1207 Год назад +450

    Link’s proud and happy smile after saying “Thank you for sharing”, at 1:42:53 , is so geniune and warm, what a great friend he is!

  • @menmyown
    @menmyown Год назад +470

    Your story made me think, why do I choose to believe in something that terrifies me, that makes me feel like I'm always a bad person, someone who has never answered my questions, who makes me feel alone

    • @__KB__
      @__KB__ Год назад +76

      I had the same feeling about 7-8 years ago. It was rough. I've slowly become an atheist and to be honest..I've never felt so much peace. The peace they assure you that you could never feel outside of a god. It is possible. But it does not start immediately.

    • @Kate09090
      @Kate09090 Год назад +17

      I wish you luck in your journey (because these sorts of realizations were certainly a journey for me). But I also wish you joy, freedom and happiness as you find a life outside of those beliefs.
      Above all, be patient with yourself. ❤️

    • @hithere7080
      @hithere7080 Год назад +21

      If you think a god must exist, you dont have to be a Christian, you could be a deist. deists believe in a god that doesn’t interact with the world

    • @TheAngryAtheist
      @TheAngryAtheist Год назад +1

      Did you get answers to these questions?

    • @marinaelliott8668
      @marinaelliott8668 Год назад +26

      Yes! This! Why must I feel guilty for natural human emotions and desires? Repression was not the answer, but liberation is.

  • @MattMay06
    @MattMay06 3 года назад +1114

    "I have lost my appetite for certainty... and it has been the most liberating thing in my adult life." This resonated in my bones. Thank you for discussing your journey; I've found much needed validation in my experience from hearing yours.

    • @sashaglenn6311
      @sashaglenn6311 2 года назад +1

      This!!

    • @dvforever
      @dvforever 2 года назад +4

      Confusion is not a great alternative.

    • @MattMay06
      @MattMay06 2 года назад +34

      @dvforever When you examine the dogma you were handed and realize it's a weapon being used to oppress your peers, giving yourself permission to drop it and walk away is an incredibly important struggle. To take the responsibility for your ethics away from an external authority that isn't there and place it squarely in your own lap, gripping the reigns of your own morality and giving up the idea that clinging to that dogma and continuing to beat your peers bloody with it will ensure that you're "right," THAT is what I find freeing. I have no certainty toward whatever nuance Rhett meant, but that's where I found validation in his phrase.
      The greatest confusion I experienced was attempting to consolidate the text and teachings of my religion with wildly mounting evidence to the contrary the longer I spent alive. I miss neither the apologetics or the mental gymnastics.

    • @myhandlewastakenandIgaveup
      @myhandlewastakenandIgaveup 2 года назад +10

      The freedom to not only not know but also not have to know has been one of the most amazing stages in my life.
      [Holy awkward sentence structure batman!]

    • @erinkinsella91
      @erinkinsella91 2 года назад +22

      @@dvforever being scared of confusion isn't a good excuse to blindly follow something IMO, thats why some people think religion is the human way of coping with the unknown

  • @BradMurray
    @BradMurray 3 года назад +2619

    It's remarkable to hear someone with a trained preacher's delivery witnessing about their loss of faith. I love you Rhett and love to hear you talk about your embrace of uncertainty.

  • @thespian72
    @thespian72 2 года назад +1721

    As a queer person who has grown up in and still lives in North Carolina, and as a child used to watch your missionary content, this story was so wonderful to hear. The fact that someone who doesn’t have the religious trauma that I do came to the same conclusion through the same process is beyond validating. What you said about focusing on life not death resonated with me HEAVY. Keep doing what you do!

    • @jackmedlock5888
      @jackmedlock5888 2 года назад +79

      “It is the knowledge that I’m going to die that creates the focus that I bring to being alive. The urgency of accomplishment. The need to express love. Now, not later.” - Neil deGrasse Tyson
      I’m sorry for the trauma you received. I’m from Laurinburg, North Carolina. A church on every street. I still can’t be too open about my lack of faith because it will start debates or discussions about how my way of life is depressing. I hope we have our peace by the end of the day.

    • @maryooowoahh
      @maryooowoahh 2 года назад +7

      THIS!! ^^

    • @impressions1017
      @impressions1017 Год назад +9

      As a gay person....

    • @katyungodly
      @katyungodly Год назад +54

      I mean as a fellow queer person who grew up on a farm in Central Alabama, I have to say being queer had a profound impact on me religiously, socially, and politically. It was hard to follow the crowd and be a religious right-winger when they were all attacking people like me on Fox News and in the church we grew up in. It made me look beyond the small world I was being raised in and realize that there are people in this world who have their own struggles. It showed me that my religion was not as perfect and good as I was being told it was.

    • @myguitarwantstokillyourmama
      @myguitarwantstokillyourmama Год назад +50

      @@impressions1017 Cope

  • @noahweber5606
    @noahweber5606 Год назад +134

    A big takeaway in this video is just how fortunate both these guys are to have each other to navigate life with-they ask such compelling questions of one another and are outstanding listeners to each other

    • @MS-we9gn
      @MS-we9gn 11 месяцев назад +6

      Right? I wish I had a friend like this

  • @fireball7436
    @fireball7436 4 года назад +1780

    The fact that Rhett is comfortable telling this story says a lot. Losing a connection from what you used to believe so deeply is an emotional rollercoaster! I'm happy that you guys are talking about this because it lets us know we're not the only ones.
    Edit- thank you so much for the likes, and Rhett if you're reading this just know we support you and love you!

    • @obscurefaith
      @obscurefaith 4 года назад +35

      This entire conversation is admirable and deserving of so much respect and care. So yes I'm with you.

    • @swansonjoe7121
      @swansonjoe7121 4 года назад +3

      Not to deflate your comment, but this is the same dude who is growing out his hair to look like Jason M.
      And also eats pig testies

    • @obscurefaith
      @obscurefaith 4 года назад +17

      Judging a whole person on surface deep things not so kind. People's are so many layers.

    • @swansonjoe7121
      @swansonjoe7121 4 года назад

      Must be the man-bun lmao

    • @muldrowalex
      @muldrowalex 4 года назад +7

      Fire Ball I was going to say the same thing. I definitely know the feeling of falling out of religion, especially when it used to be my whole life. Though we come from different backgrounds and experiences in life, I can relate to this story.

  • @tomcuthbert-sayers1451
    @tomcuthbert-sayers1451 4 года назад +2902

    Honestly guys, this is/has been a fascinating little "series"; personal, honest, divisive and profoundly human. Thank you.

    • @karolinakawa2231
      @karolinakawa2231 4 года назад +2

      I like that also :)

    • @karolinakawa2231
      @karolinakawa2231 4 года назад

      anyone here from

    • @karolinakawa2231
      @karolinakawa2231 4 года назад

      *JOS (J[^o[^[y(o(f)[S^[a"[t"[a'['n] o)r)g?*

    • @Shifter22
      @Shifter22 4 года назад +7

      So much respect for them, I'm really proud of my boys for being this honest.

    • @mhj4
      @mhj4 4 года назад +14

      kozmik__WZRD unfortunately anything to do with religion - especially leaving a religion - is divisive even when it’s discussed as thoughtfully as it is here

  • @christinatran5821
    @christinatran5821 Год назад +68

    The way Rhett articulates his thoughts and feelings with care makes this so easy to listen to and follow each process. Also when Rhett said he looks at his marriage as more like a "it's pretty cool that I get to go through life with you. I love you." That was so sweet.

  • @klover7355
    @klover7355 2 года назад +86

    I’m an ex-evangelical, pastors daughter, and even a former missionary. I had spent 20 years of my life completely engulfed in religion. I was even homeschooled with a Christian curriculum with little contact with the “secular” world. I can’t even tell you how many hours I’ve spent on spiritual pursuits and education… it’s been over a year since I walked away, and I have never felt more at peace.
    Thank you for allowing us to see into your journey. This process is both terrifying and simply exhausting, and it’s rarely talked about in ANY capacity. I grew up on your videos, particularly because my parents were aware of your faith and they approved. It’s a comfort to see that I’m not alone in my deconstruction and I thank you both sincerely for this conversation being published ♥️

    • @nasonguy
      @nasonguy 2 года назад +7

      Similar story here. My father isn’t a pastor but he is a fundamentalist Christian. He was also deeply abusive, but that’s another story. He had such a stranglehold on our entire family that it was his way or the highway. Anyways, always involved in the church, severely punished for any “sins”. Homeschooled with only YEC and fundamentalist curricula. Friends could only be Christian to the point that we were cautioned about the neighbors who were Jehova’s Witnesses. That’s right, the “wrong” kind of Christian…
      Anyways, it’s taken years for me to deconstruct my faith. No one knows except my wife, I love her deeply and could not keep something like this from her. But I’m so afraid to tell my mother and siblings.
      I guess I’m just saying I feel you. The total control over your life, from education, to media, to friends. And how deep of a hold that can have on your life.
      I see you, I hear you, and I appreciate you. You’re not the only one who is pushing through this.

  • @katiecarolus
    @katiecarolus 4 года назад +1613

    This helped me breathe. I started crying when Rhett said "I'm more interested now in what happens while I live". Thank you. I've never even been religious, I've been agnostic my whole life but wow, this helped.

    • @lukasbeier8338
      @lukasbeier8338 4 года назад +4

      Kathryn Lee Sorry but he’s got a lot of misconceptions. This is a great video to watch ruclips.net/video/TjZsIxSkKzc/видео.html.

    • @JacobDFerguson
      @JacobDFerguson 4 года назад +25

      Don't listen to these fools

    • @lukasbeier8338
      @lukasbeier8338 4 года назад +4

      Jacob Ferguson ??

    • @fabianespinoza991
      @fabianespinoza991 4 года назад +18

      Whoah, I just had a moment. As I am watching I scroll down to the comments and as I am reading your comment Kathryn and I get to “I’m more interested now in what happens while I live” Rhett says it exactly the same time as I read it. Ha. Felt, I don’t know...for lack of a better term, cosmic. Just thought I’d share that :)

    • @katiecarolus
      @katiecarolus 4 года назад +1

      Fabian Espinoza thanks for sharing! I think it’s a powerful sentence

  • @fiend116
    @fiend116 4 года назад +534

    I had to stop the episode and appreciate the absurdity of seeing a person, who I'd normally watch eat crazy stuff, have a deep moving speech on such a personal topic. I'm glad they've both talked about this.

    • @justinbridgez
      @justinbridgez 3 года назад +5

      Yo. For real. I love this format. I’d jump back on I was a religiously watcher. No pun intended but havent for awhile just hear and there but it’s 4:40 almost 5:00am jyst started and I’m finishing it

    • @justinbridgez
      @justinbridgez 3 года назад +1

      Cuz I’ve always loved theres guys.

    • @allisonpinkall577
      @allisonpinkall577 3 года назад +3

      Yes I never realized how insightful and honest these guys were! I just saw their silliness and loved them for it but I never really thought about their own personal life journeys

  • @prototype102010
    @prototype102010 9 месяцев назад +108

    Finally watching these videos is absolutely fascinating to me. I remember when I was still hella involved in my church, and the "new" broke that Rhett and Link had deconstructed their faith, our youth (kids and teens) ministry groups had an emergency meeting so we call all be on the same page about how to talk to the kids and teens about the "dangers of deconstructing" and how to help "guide" them away from the bad influence of GMM. When I say "emergency meeting" I'm talking about we got a text at 7pm and the meeting was at 8 and EVERYONE was there.
    I kind of... finalized my own deconstruction a few months ago and just now watching these videos, I feel bad for you guys because what Rhett was saying in the beginning, about being a footnote of "You didn't believe" is exactly what we said in that meeting. As well as some other stuff. Being on the other side now, that shit hurts to hear.

  • @WheatFlakes919
    @WheatFlakes919 11 месяцев назад +275

    As someone who has never been religious, I still find this really interesting. It's always been hard for me to understand the mindset of those who are, but this has been very insightful.

    • @TissueCat_
      @TissueCat_ 7 месяцев назад +16

      same. i grew up in an agnostic family but occasionally went to church with my grandmother, as my parents didnt want their beliefs to sway what i chose to believe. i always found it difficult to comprehend how intensely ppl can believe in religion and how much it impacts every aspect of themselves. i love listening to rhett and link talk about their story with their faith because it helps me understand better, which i feel will help me better connect with the religious folks in my life.

    • @yugimotobutjacked3231
      @yugimotobutjacked3231 6 месяцев назад

      you have to be rasied from birth or converted through trauma. all religions are cults@@TissueCat_

    • @Globeca1606
      @Globeca1606 4 месяца назад +2

      Definitely same, it also makes me pretty grateful that we didn’t have to grow up with this insanely strict moral code that could leave us with so much guilt over such mundane things

  • @koziol552
    @koziol552 4 года назад +1044

    Rhett you have a real talent for explaining controversial topics in a respectful, meaningful manner. I think you could help a lot of people who used to be in your situation by speaking about your journey. Close-mindedness is never the answer...it’s always better to be open to any possibility in life.

    • @WHALEx3
      @WHALEx3 4 года назад +7

      I do agree, but he does have an air of- I’ve done the research and i’m completely right. He called this his story but it’s more of an agnostic sermon, I’m agnostic too so I didn’t mind it too much, i’m just saying it came across a bit preachy.

    • @koziol552
      @koziol552 4 года назад +50

      @@WHALEx3 Well I think maybe you were just noticing his passion and dedication to the subject. Rhett is a very analytical dude and he obviously put a lot of time, effort, and feeling into this whole process. I personally like the way he talks not just because he’s so well spoken but because of his well thought out arguments.

    • @johnmalcolm7549
      @johnmalcolm7549 4 года назад

      So very true !!!!

    • @bentaylor5575
      @bentaylor5575 4 года назад

      Yes I especially loved the part that he called a whole religion cowards for standing up for their beliefs

    • @johnmalcolm7549
      @johnmalcolm7549 4 года назад

      I thought he did a great job

  • @procrastinatingstrawberry2515
    @procrastinatingstrawberry2515 4 года назад +396

    I think a lot of us can agree it was an honour to listen to this podcast. Very personal and eye opening. Shout out to Link for being a great listener too. Looking forward to the next episode.

  • @wholehealthwithhannah
    @wholehealthwithhannah Год назад +215

    As a missionary/pastor kid who spent a lot of time debating evolution in college and was SO sure of the doctrine - I appreciate your story so much. I’m in the middle of my own deconstruction and it’s painful. I miss being certain and confident. But it’s also incredibly freeing - the world opens up and I am free to explore without having to fit all the square pegs I keep finding into the round hole of my religious world view. A million thank yous for sharing!

    • @hotdicksonrice
      @hotdicksonrice Год назад

      I remember when I was scared of losing the certainty, and what follows is a thirst for knowledge and a great joy in the ability to learn new things. Once I got past that part, I was excited to find out what else might I have been wrong about and starting a journey of knowledge and discovery I’m still enjoying years later.

    • @calebm9000
      @calebm9000 11 месяцев назад +5

      It's funny, I used to be the same way as a kid. I ended up going to college for a microbiology-related subject, and I felt like learning more about evolution and adjacent topics rather than just taking a very biased version (from the church) and terribly explained (public school) I found that I was really able to understand that it wasn't the antithesis to my beliefs as I thought it was. That and there were far more religious scientists than I would have expected. I was able to critically evaluate what I believe, what I didn't really believe as much in anymore, and what I still needed to explore for myself. I think everyone should experience that level of freedom.

    • @roems6396
      @roems6396 8 месяцев назад

      @@calebm9000
      The reason there are theistic scientists is because they were indoctrinated long before they became scientists. It’s hard to break free of childhood indoctrination when those claims were out there before you reached the Age of Reason.

    • @uncannyvalley3190
      @uncannyvalley3190 5 месяцев назад +1

      Evolution doesn't disprove the bible though lmao. If you left because of that, then you just didn't explore. Presbyterians for example believe most modern scientific theories and relate them to the bible.

    • @adamplentl5588
      @adamplentl5588 4 месяца назад

      And they do so by ignoring what the Bible very clearly states to have been the case. ​@@uncannyvalley3190

  • @user-xn3rs7tu5w
    @user-xn3rs7tu5w 2 года назад +427

    i am completely appalled by the version of myself that watched this video the first time. I used to be christian, never read the bible, but convinced myself that i wasnt only following because thats how i was raised. always hated the religion, but it held such a grip of fear on me that i would have panic attacks wondering when the trumpets would sound. I even knew i was homosexual, and convinced myself it meant God's plan was to keep me single for the rest of my life. When i first watched this video, i had to take it off because inevitably, it helped me realise that i wanted out, and i was so scared of that feeling. feeling that following a religion my whole life was doing more bad than good on me.
    I'm back, and a lot has changed since i saw it for the first time. Yes, i am happier, and no, im not living in fear about when the world will end or if im good enough to experience peace in the afterlife. Im free, I love myself, and i hope one day I can experience love without fearing it.
    to anyone watching that is fearful, because i understand the feeling of walking out of a religion. it's hard, but if it is the right thing for you, it needs to be done. I wish you the best, and I truly, truly hope you sit and wonder what that best is.

    • @ThePinkRebel
      @ThePinkRebel 2 года назад

      What's your current view on theology

    • @user-xn3rs7tu5w
      @user-xn3rs7tu5w 2 года назад +19

      @@ThePinkRebel i have no issue with anyone who studies theology, but of course as someone who doesnt believe in the faith anymore or any religion its pretty useless for me. although i will say it is interesting and it can even be used to challenge religions so it is a pretty cool topic.

    • @ThePinkRebel
      @ThePinkRebel 2 года назад +27

      @@user-xn3rs7tu5w im a truth seeker. and as someone who was fooled into believing christianity and paganism i understand just how powerful our brains are at simulating spiritual experiences and sensations. i was huge on evangelism and apologetics and used to want to be that warrior for god. now im an atheist and his mentioning of becoming the angry atheist really took me back on my motives for debating. but i realized why i am so passionate in speaking out against theology and its because real people get hurt all the time by it and i have to stand up for those that do harm even if they dont see it.

    • @user-xn3rs7tu5w
      @user-xn3rs7tu5w 2 года назад +23

      @@ThePinkRebel im totally with you on that one, i was fooled too. I personally have never found myself wanting to lead others into atheism unless they want to, but your fire comes from a good place and I fully support it. keep going! I remember even myself and how I noticed all my "spiritual experiences" were all heartbreaking coincidences. it does hurt to think of others living like that.

    • @froufroudeluxe
      @froufroudeluxe 2 года назад +8

      I love this so much

  • @zacjameson452
    @zacjameson452 4 года назад +847

    “I’m going to follow truth wherever it leads, without fear”

    • @superfly2535
      @superfly2535 4 года назад +61

      The truth will set you free, ignorance is NOT bliss.

    • @philpreston3072
      @philpreston3072 4 года назад +36

      The truth is that evolution and the big bang are scientific myths

    • @KoolWithAQ
      @KoolWithAQ 4 года назад +59

      @@philpreston3072 Phil. My dude. I've been where you've been. I know how you're thinking. So the only question I would pose to you is simple. Would your beliefs need to change in any meaningful way, if hypothetically the universe came into existence 13.8 billion years ago instead of much more recently? If so, why, or if not, then why not consider the possibility?

    • @jaezi5982
      @jaezi5982 4 года назад +4

      @@KoolWithAQ How much does it matter to you that you should know?

    • @KoolWithAQ
      @KoolWithAQ 4 года назад +41

      @@jaezi5982 To be honest, it's the first real crack in the armor I encountered that helped me to realize that maybe just because an evangelical pastor says it, that doesn't mean it has to be true for me to be the person I want to be. Losing that armor is scary, but you can breathe a lot easier once it's off.

  • @Shucksofficial
    @Shucksofficial 4 года назад +219

    Im very impressed with Link for staying quiet and letting Rhett speak for so long

    • @smarier27
      @smarier27 4 года назад +13

      I thought the same thing. it was so respectful, I admire him for it.

  • @user-ku5vt7lr9m
    @user-ku5vt7lr9m Год назад +21

    I was a youth pastor for three years.
    I had traveled the world telling the Gospel
    And three years ago, my crisis of faith had gotten to a point where I couldn’t do ministry anymore.
    I’m agonistic.
    I’m hopeful.
    And after years of therapy and rebuilding life is better than it ever has been.
    I related so much to your story and your journey is so similar to my own.
    Thanks for sharing

  • @thehomebookkeeper
    @thehomebookkeeper 2 года назад +124

    the statement about being more concerned with how you live vs what happens to you after you die is sooooo powerful and something I wish all people considered more. Right now in the present how you treat yourself and others is what matters

    • @DartNoobo
      @DartNoobo 5 месяцев назад +1

      Thank God Bible teaches us exactly that

  • @Emma-qw8ys
    @Emma-qw8ys 4 года назад +339

    ‘Hopeful Agnostic’ is such a lovely phrase and it perfectly describes how I feel. I have no idea what’s out there, but it’s comforting to think there may be a reason for our existence. Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly Rhett ❤️

    • @celticlass8573
      @celticlass8573 4 года назад +7

      I feel the same way. There's definitely a symmetry and connectedness that is perceivable, but there's likely much much more that we can't experience or understand. Which makes me madly curious and humble at the same time!

    • @sydneybaker8618
      @sydneybaker8618 4 года назад +1

      Same here

    • @Immariolopez
      @Immariolopez 4 года назад +3

      Emma 940 make your own reason

    • @collinsboy19
      @collinsboy19 4 года назад +1

      This comment is why I'm here. I can relate on a very deep level.

    • @amasawler
      @amasawler 4 года назад +9

      I agree. When he said that my heart swelled. I don't believe in God as presented to me by various religions... But I don't discount there may be a higher power and I really hope there is something after death. We just really don't know... And won't know until we're gone. I'm just gonna be a good person until then.

  • @angelique_cs
    @angelique_cs 4 года назад +595

    My impressions of Rhett before this series: sarcastic funny, slightly defensive, intellectual
    During this episode: the same, but with a deeper context.
    I'm feeling reminded that context is so important to understanding one another and a key to resolving some of the hurt and conflict we have in the world. Understand your friend. Learn his story. Feel with empathy how their experience formed them. Move forward gently.
    TLDR: my respect for these two has grown tremendously and my heart grew three sizes that day

    • @lchoi9955
      @lchoi9955 4 года назад +16

      I agree on the impression. I have been realizing he is a very thoughtful person and it has done nothing but improve my opinion of him. I appreciate his drive to learn even when it was seeped in religious backed material.

    • @tomashernandez4663
      @tomashernandez4663 4 года назад +12

      Yes, Rhett going this deep into his psyche was a curve ball. These guys are so well read and behind the "comedy" there is so much complexity that, as a fan, I can't get enough of. True role models! Keep at it guys!

    • @thehardrockhippie7118
      @thehardrockhippie7118 4 года назад +1

      What is TLDR?

    • @samandkayla
      @samandkayla 4 года назад +2

      TheHardRockHippie too long didn't read

    • @siezethebidet
      @siezethebidet 4 года назад +7

      THANK YOU, THANK YOU ,THANK YOU! This level of candor and honesty, even with its risks, is the best! We love y'all for all the lightness and fun you give, but this just adds empetus to that. Good on ya both. Thanks Rhett.

  • @freddyray6805
    @freddyray6805 22 дня назад +5

    Thank you for sharing Rhett. Ironically I came to know about this episode via a channel trying to debunk your thoughts.
    I went through extremely similar situations. I was part of a very works based organisation that I dreaded questioning it legitimacy. When i did everything collapsed around me like a house of cards. Will be watching Link's episode next.

  • @KingParzival
    @KingParzival Год назад +54

    I'm about to confront my parents about the massive rift in our family because of this exact issue. My dad constantly judges me and won't allow me to spend time with my Brothers because I don't follow his exact view of the world. I'm literally a normal person with a SUPER normal and average life, and he believes that I'll corrupt the family. Wish me luck y'all, I love you Rhett. Thank you so much for this excellent perspective.

    • @vejeke
      @vejeke Год назад +4

      Ask him if he knew that the four gospel are completely anonymous despite the names in their titles.
      Wikipedia --> Gospel --> Composition

    • @Diminish3d
      @Diminish3d 8 месяцев назад +8

      Hopefully things are better. To me, it sounds like your father keeping the brothers apart is corrupting/tearing apart the family. Of course, doing that thinking it's the right way to do to protect the family.
      Hope now 11months later there has been some understanding and progress o/

  • @jeannetterw
    @jeannetterw 4 года назад +1492

    I'm not personally religious but have found these biscuits fascinating.

    • @lizae4155
      @lizae4155 4 года назад +29

      Same here, really fascinating

    • @madisonstinky
      @madisonstinky 4 года назад +145

      The idea of reading this comment without context made me giggle.

    • @jekanyika
      @jekanyika 4 года назад +7

      Likewise

    • @hollisberry30
      @hollisberry30 4 года назад +6

      @@madisonstinky so funny!

    • @trevorcarlisle5447
      @trevorcarlisle5447 4 года назад +4

      Listened the whole way threw, these are so easy and fun to learn about there personal paths

  • @charliemonroe7101
    @charliemonroe7101 4 года назад +3061

    First off, as a pastor I really liked this and I really love you. You told a story that myself, my brothers, and my friends have all worked through in similar ways. While we have arrived at different spots, I think this conversation was one of the best things I have listened to this year.

    • @madduxnull986
      @madduxnull986 4 года назад +217

      You’re such a well meaning guy, I love it when people of different beliefs respect each other. Good for you and have a great life!

    • @FunkVT
      @FunkVT 4 года назад +65

      So much respect, you seem like a lovely man

    • @alwaysalmostthere2073
      @alwaysalmostthere2073 4 года назад +50

      I love this 💕 Thank you for being so loving and respectful for different peoples point of view. Hope you are doing well during these hard times 😊

    • @gagesullivan8693
      @gagesullivan8693 4 года назад +52

      That’s cool that you’re not forcing your beliefs on anyone even though some people would disagree them, I wish more people were as open minded to an idea other than their own like you

    • @bunnybelllove5565
      @bunnybelllove5565 4 года назад +3

      What’s their religion currently?

  • @JeffreyBoles
    @JeffreyBoles 7 месяцев назад +12

    I had a very similar experience. My father was a well educated preacher in Alabama. I didn't want to lose my faith either, and I certainly didn't have any resentment toward my Christian upbringing. As Rhett pointed out so well, as a straight white man in an American Christian church, you pretty much have everything going for you.
    My spiritual deconstruction was much more rapid and violent than Rhett's. It happened all at once when I realized the bible was not the inerrant word of God, and then went down a similar thought process as Rhett did when he thought, "What if I have been wrong this entire time?"
    I am now an atheist. I feel I love humanity even more than I did before. If this life and each other are all we have, then we have to make the most of it. We have to love and help our fellow human beings. I really appreciate Rhett sharing his story. I wasn't ready to hear it 3 years ago, because it was too raw for me to want to reopen my old wound, but I'm glad I could hear it now.

  • @KOGOSTOMUS
    @KOGOSTOMUS 6 месяцев назад +26

    Wow. Rhett is so incredibly thoughtful, self-reflective, intelligent, and such a fantastic storyteller. Truly a beautiful podcast episode told by a beautiful soul.

  • @josephgusenkov340
    @josephgusenkov340 3 года назад +511

    "If my story represents anything is that I am willing to change my mind". This quote gave me goosebumps because I wrote something similar to this in my journal, and that was the beginning of my deconstruction. I love how open minded Rhett is, and I am so happy that he mentioned that he was angry because I feel like for the first 20 years of my like I was lied to.

    • @dudeman5303
      @dudeman5303 3 года назад +15

      Saaaaame. I basically became agnostic when I was in 8th grade but I didn't "know" what agnostic was and i didn't tell anyone, it was kind of a weird "I don't think I believe in god but I will still pray to them" kind of thing. I got confirmed at my church a couple years later, and it felt so wrong getting confirmed,I was in this environment where everyone was excited for me and I was thinking to myself "wow I don't believe any of this". I haven't been to church since. No one in my family knew then that I was agnostic, and most still don't know, I'm 28 now and only my brother's know I am agnostic. It's really wild to think about this kind of stuff, just the idea that we for such a huge portion of our lives had to follow our families because it's all we knew how to do. I mean, I would never talk about being agnostic in a public setting because that would mean letting my parents know I'm agnostic, knowing rhett and link did it blows my mind, that's a long time to keep it to yourself, but at the same time if I was in their shoes? I'd do the same thing. I could never tell my parents I was not christian.
      It's so hard to not be angry at first. After I moved out of my parents I became a lot more willingly angry about religion because I no longer had to contain myself about it, and let me tell you, I was pretty damn mad haha. I think it's just the natural reaction, it's tough realizing you haven't been living your own life. When you live through a religious lense, half the time you are relating everything back to religion instead of processing it yourself. Every time I am visited by my aunt, whom I love dearly, but she literally recites bible scriptures over everything and i remember when I was younger feeling so guilty that I wasn't doing the same thing.

    • @hypnopump
      @hypnopump 2 года назад

      @@dudeman5303 If you can't land on agnostic, I really don't know what to say to you in a spiritual regard. So, that is awesome!

    • @smears6039
      @smears6039 2 месяца назад

      @@dudeman5303same I also had to do confirmation while an atheist, but at least it really confirmed to me that my doubts were completely valid seeing as the church leaders couldn’t answer any of the basic questions I asked in class. But having my family celebrate at the end of it made me feel awful, like something was wrong with me that I just couldn’t believe in something when I knew my life would be much easier if I could. I was happy reading your experience that was so similar to my own. Thanks for sharing❤

  • @RetroTekGuyAU
    @RetroTekGuyAU 4 года назад +2501

    Love that these recent EB's are getting longer. Don't be afraid of doing these for a few hours guys it's great stuff very enjoyable to listen to

    • @pegasBaO23
      @pegasBaO23 4 года назад +37

      They shouldn't be afraid to go longer if the topic requires it, but they should elongate just to make it long.

    • @obelixco1148
      @obelixco1148 4 года назад +31

      Yeah agreed they always talk about how "this is getting a bit too long" and I'm always like noooo keep going its v entertaining

    • @VeritasEtAequitas
      @VeritasEtAequitas 4 года назад +2

      It is as long as it's within your echo chamber.

    • @jamesbrice700
      @jamesbrice700 3 года назад

      @@obelixco1148 hhvhigh hi oh Gigi hi jgoo

    • @MrRubenmarrufo
      @MrRubenmarrufo 3 года назад +1

      Honestly I would listen/watch a podcast 3-4 hours long if it's from them.

  • @finchhaley8015
    @finchhaley8015 7 месяцев назад +34

    everyone who is still in the faith seems to think leaving is easy. they don't understand how tortuous it is, how it feels like betraying yourself and everything you ever stood for. my mom told me after i left that "[i] always had to be right" but doesn't realize that leaving your faith is a lot more about knowing you were wrong

    • @DartNoobo
      @DartNoobo 5 месяцев назад

      If faith is wrong then what is so difficult about leaving it? I broke with tobacco the moment I understood how badly it affected me. Felt awesome

    • @jacobmarshall379
      @jacobmarshall379 5 месяцев назад +9

      @@DartNoobo thats a completely vacuous comparison. nobody in your life was pressuring you to continue to smoke, nobody would disown you if you didnt smoke, you hadnt been told your whole life that the true purpose of life is to smoke and that stopping smoking meant you were abandoning the purpose of a higher power.

    • @DartNoobo
      @DartNoobo 5 месяцев назад

      And that is simply gaslighting. If you are thoroughly convinced that certain system of belief is wrong then it won't hold any power over you.

    • @jacobmarshall379
      @jacobmarshall379 5 месяцев назад +6

      @@DartNoobo the belief doesn't, the real world consequences of changing beliefs does, do you think you just stop being human when you change belief? Me disagreeing with you isnt gaslighting.

    • @finchhaley8015
      @finchhaley8015 5 месяцев назад +3

      @@DartNoobo to piggyback off what they said, when i left christianity, i left everything. i could no longer attend the college i had been at for 3.5 years, i lost 90% of my friends over it, and my familial relations are so tense that my parents won't be at my wedding and i don't know if they'll even be a part of their future grandchild's life. it's so much deeper than "this is bad for me im going to stop." im glad you were able to quit cold turkey, but leaving a faith is so drastically different from quitting an addiction. it is having to relearn and reteach yourself how to think and act in the world because you were always taught that one specific way to do it was correct. i will never ever fully recover from how i was raised in christianity as much as i try, because for 19 years it was the air i breathed.

  • @haleybrooks6213
    @haleybrooks6213 Год назад +362

    as an 18 yr old lesbian from the bible belt who grew up watching you guys, this means a lot to me. you guys have evolved wonderfully and its great to see you guys evolving alongside me with some of the same values and beliefs.

    • @katyungodly
      @katyungodly Год назад +39

      Trans lesbian here! I grew up on a farm in Central Alabama. The Church and conservatism in general literally ejected people like us, then they wonder why we leave the church. It is quite cathartic coming to these comments and seeing other queer people with similar experiences to mine.

    • @haleybrooks6213
      @haleybrooks6213 Год назад +17

      @@katyungodly i could tear up with how happy it makes me to connect with other people such as you through some of my childhood youtube dads :') thanks for sharing

    • @drewbunton1156
      @drewbunton1156 Год назад

      Simply not being a Christian anymore is not “evolving” don’t act like they’re just better more progressive people now simply Bc they’re no longer Christian lmao. That’s just idiotic.

    • @haleybrooks6213
      @haleybrooks6213 Год назад +4

      @@drewbunton1156 do you know the definition of evolving? simply meaning to change.

    • @drewbunton1156
      @drewbunton1156 Год назад +1

      @@haleybrooks6213 Evolving and change are two entirely different things. Evolving inherently means to adapt to your surroundings, and is normally a progressive step forward. Evolving and changing are two entirely different things

  • @17hunter00
    @17hunter00 4 года назад +451

    I think the fact that link is sitting there taking pages of notes is really cool

    • @aaronhauth8880
      @aaronhauth8880 4 года назад +42

      i think that's due to him getting to share his thoughts next time, but I agree. It shows a real respect for what Rhett's saying and Link wants to understand as best as he can before giving his thoughts next time

    • @yoramenraps1011
      @yoramenraps1011 4 года назад +8

      Yeah really loved that.

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 4 года назад +13

      @@aaronhauth8880 He does add on quite a bit to what Rhett said in this episode. In fact, a lot of Link's journey was coloured by the spirituality of Rhett and Christy, and it feels like more of a personal exploration via personal and relational circumstances than via rationality like Rhett's was. Well worth a listen.

    • @YaaayaaaYEET
      @YaaayaaaYEET 4 года назад +2

      Super cool

    • @davidflaherty2152
      @davidflaherty2152 4 года назад +3

      It was very thoughtful

  • @6Dell9
    @6Dell9 4 года назад +735

    "The truth has to be more important than your beliefs or ideology" - Rhett McLaughlin

    • @Jedi71
      @Jedi71 4 года назад +34

      this needs to be chiseled several places into granite.

    • @chancilopez12345
      @chancilopez12345 4 года назад +13

      Otman Zayer truth can be proven.... one side proves the other wrong all the time... one truth exists common sense would guide you into the right place as Long as you are comfortable with letting go of current beliefs.

    • @MarkYoon
      @MarkYoon 4 года назад +46

      @Otman Zayer Yet, one is backed by massive amounts of actual evidence and the other is based on old stories taken from even older stories, that have been changed and retranslated many times over.
      Science doesn't claim absolute truth, it is merely the understanding of the natural world. Religion, all religions, claim absolute truth. All 100,000 plus of them.

    • @declanp1
      @declanp1 4 года назад +1

      @Otman Zayer no it doesn't. We just don't believe the claims made by theists.

    • @ygyzys
      @ygyzys 4 года назад +20

      @Otman Zayer He didn't say the truth is clear, he said it's important. The fact he has spent much of his life seeking the truth, and he continues to do so, shows that it isn't clear to him. There is no other side of religion, you believe or you don't. Science, and specifically in this case - evolution, is not concerned with religion... or faith, or belief of any kind. Religion and science are not opposites, they are simply not relevant to each other.

  • @clomwah
    @clomwah 10 месяцев назад +40

    I'm not religious and never have been but I have always found stories and discussions about faith and deconstruction fascinating!

  • @elizabethgaston8897
    @elizabethgaston8897 2 года назад +200

    This was so relieving to watch. I've watched you two since I was in high school [I'm 25 now]. I was raised in South Carolina and pushed toward Christianity my whole life. Since I was a child, I could never grasp the belief system and hated myself for a long time because of it. I finally came to peace about it a few years ago, but I just really appreciate you sharing this story. It takes a lot of courage to discuss this and I'm thankful you are sharing this with others.

    • @isidoreaerys8745
      @isidoreaerys8745 2 года назад +7

      I am similar. When people say “through the blood of Christ I am saved!” Has always just been word salad to me.

    • @Noah_Dienstag
      @Noah_Dienstag 2 года назад +2

      Agreed, also South Carolinian, and this is incredibly moving

  • @MA-zg2pz
    @MA-zg2pz 4 года назад +363

    Wow their friendship has really been through everything

  • @traviskapcia7002
    @traviskapcia7002 4 года назад +380

    As a current youth pastor, and long time Mythical Beast, I have loved this exploration into the "Lost Years". Rhett I appreciate your genuine spirit, vulnerability and honesty. Thank you for opening up to us in this way. Appreciate you guys

    • @Deemongamer
      @Deemongamer 4 года назад +77

      I'm very glad to see a current believer share this positive, accepting comment. Been surfing the comments and this is the first of its kind so far.

    • @meashkah
      @meashkah 4 года назад +46

      Travis Kapcia I agree. I am a believer and appreciate listening to his experience.

    • @PROJECT.LUKE.ONE.75
      @PROJECT.LUKE.ONE.75 4 года назад +67

      I also admire his vulnerability and honesty, however, it is disheartening to see a fellow believer fall away from the faith. I pray you return to your King dear Rhett and Link.
      #Earbiscuits

    • @m1tz1pop98
      @m1tz1pop98 4 года назад +17

      Levi Walton I don’t think his comment was encouraging believers to no longer believe, I think he was simply being grateful for Rhett sharing.

    • @feelgoodcorp1
      @feelgoodcorp1 4 года назад +4

      Levi Walton that’s not the point

  • @user-sx1fg7lc3c
    @user-sx1fg7lc3c Год назад +181

    You won't find many people as real as these two men. True role models for living a life of love.

  • @wolgarush
    @wolgarush 7 месяцев назад +20

    I listened to this the first time while walking around my christian campgrounds, following the leader and being a counselor to young individuals in the christian church. I was a guide to them and Rhett was a guide to me. This was my catalyst, I haven't looked back and I am so so grateful for the vulnerability in these episodes. I will never forget what good hearing this and watching this has done for me. My deconstruction is something that I am now proud of, thank you.

  • @MrMatthew3117
    @MrMatthew3117 4 года назад +846

    Best piece of content they've ever released by far. So introspective. They are far more articulate and precise in their speaking during these types of podcasts than on anything else I've heard them on. Bravo.

    • @devonavandi2244
      @devonavandi2244 4 года назад +2

      Matthew Holman we get it you’re smart

    • @MrMatthew3117
      @MrMatthew3117 4 года назад +37

      @@devonavandi2244 I disagree but thank you I'm flattered

    • @EmrysEnergy
      @EmrysEnergy 4 года назад +23

      Seconded. Ive found them so interesting to listen to as Ive never understood adults who believe in organised religion. I remember being 5 years old, in Sunday school and having a light-bulb moment... "Oh, this is like Aesops Fables for grown ups." Never looked back. So hearing the progression has been very enlightening for me.

    • @melissagriffith2146
      @melissagriffith2146 4 года назад +2

      Matthew Holman yes!!!!

    • @conedx
      @conedx 4 года назад

      rhett has a manbun. it can't be the best anything.

  • @davisfamily9510
    @davisfamily9510 4 года назад +297

    I’ve never seen Rhett so flustered and in contrast link being collected.

    • @allison8654
      @allison8654 4 года назад +10

      they balance each other out

  • @izatwin
    @izatwin 8 месяцев назад +28

    how lucky the people who dismiss you and your experience must be. what a great and easy life they must have to dismiss the pain of a person experiencing a painful loss such as losing faith or transitioning into different ideas. I think that having a great and wholesome experience with the church must've made it even harder to walk away from. This was a real eye opening telling, and I am sorry to Rhett for being dismissed by narrow minded people.

  • @elizabethlucas5450
    @elizabethlucas5450 9 месяцев назад +7

    "it was in my blood and I let it go" is such a great way to look at this. Anything you believe doesnt have to define you, you have the power to let it define you and influence you, but you also have the power to change it.

  • @cstars1255
    @cstars1255 4 года назад +398

    Rhett, the bottom line: No matter where you stand spiritually, you will always be the friend that parks his car and walks back to meet his friend who’d been hurting over a mistake and that's what really matters.
    You're an amazing person, husband, father and friend. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

    • @chrisstevens1156
      @chrisstevens1156 4 года назад +7

      Nothing you do will take away your sin. Sin doesn't exist if God doesn't exist. Sin is anything you think say or do that is contrary to what God says. Morality is the definition of what is right and what is wrong. Without God, morality doesn't exist and all of your actions are without an absolute standard. Right or wrong is only relative.

    • @kody649
      @kody649 4 года назад

      @ryan #1 so you're doing your best to follow the standards of your faith?

    • @Delt4_Cr4wfish
      @Delt4_Cr4wfish 4 года назад

      @XY ZW god is the morality, he him self is pure. There is nothing like him and nothing can compete. That like trying to say whats bigger than infinite. Infinite is in its self the biggest.

    • @patrickpritchard2481
      @patrickpritchard2481 4 года назад +2

      what does that even mean?

    • @ccookies3
      @ccookies3 4 года назад +1

      Chris Stevens in my perspective, i’ve never lived with a faith being taught to me. so finding my moral stand points and building my own morality and having faith in myself is just as reassuring (as i imagine) that it is to put your faith and morals in a god. in my views, nobody is a god, and everything is driven with your own mind and also by chance. so for me, it doesn’t matter whether or not someone is up there, whatever created me gave me a mind to think, a body to feel, and a world to explore. and through that, i have my own morals, that are also built off of legal morals in some ways, but also built through my feelings and empathy for other people. my morals are based off of my experience, which i prefer to feel rather than read and search for, to be honest.

  • @sourcerorCTS
    @sourcerorCTS 4 года назад +1276

    Faith: Let's Talk About That.

    • @wendybabendy
      @wendybabendy 4 года назад +6

      Can you imagine!?! LOL

    • @unseen9834
      @unseen9834 4 года назад +1

      Yes.

    • @carolnorton2551
      @carolnorton2551 4 года назад +20

      Faith is the conscious decision to believe alternative facts.

    • @citizensnips2400
      @citizensnips2400 4 года назад +17

      @@carolnorton2551 What are alternative facts? Facts are simply that, facts.

    • @Alaytheo
      @Alaytheo 4 года назад +12

      Faith is how we trust something we have reason to believe is true.

  • @deannbeekman9489
    @deannbeekman9489 2 года назад +163

    This has actually helped me understand my own doubts, and it’s so comforting to hear that I’m not alone

    • @ReiperX
      @ReiperX 2 года назад +12

      That is probably one of the biggest issues during that phase, the feeling of being alone, although in reality you definitely aren't alone in that feeling.

  • @MM-eq4nl
    @MM-eq4nl 3 месяца назад +5

    I was raised athiest and I find it really useful listening to you both talk about your faith to understand where religious people are genuinely coming from, it's hard to relate without experiencing that framework yourself so hearing it really honestly discussed like this is a real learning experience

  • @MrStartrek2316
    @MrStartrek2316 4 года назад +995

    Coming here from the "A Conversation With" podcast with Philip Defranco.

    • @nothingtoospiffy7913
      @nothingtoospiffy7913 4 года назад +5

      Watch the first 2 before this one

    • @missnerdynurse5923
      @missnerdynurse5923 4 года назад

      Same.

    • @infinitedragonbellyx.x
      @infinitedragonbellyx.x 4 года назад

      Same! I don't listen to podcast, but that PD video is why I am.

    • @gracescott8281
      @gracescott8281 4 года назад

      same

    • @kevbotroberts
      @kevbotroberts 4 года назад +1

      Sup you beautiful bastards hope you're having a fantastic ___day my name's Phillip Defranco and let's just jump into it! The first story one of the most requested stories of today...

  • @AC-gq1bn
    @AC-gq1bn 4 года назад +362

    I’ve grown up southern baptist in Georgia. I’m still living here and this is something that has been on my heart for a while now. I’ve chosen to ignore it but it never left. This was a weight off my shoulders. It was permission to question, acknowledgment that this is something other people go through, and a comforting pat on the back from two people I respect. Thank you both for sharing your story.

    • @alainnnah
      @alainnnah 3 года назад +13

      i was raised in a south georgian pentecostal church and i’m now pagan! your journey is your own

    • @roems6396
      @roems6396 3 года назад

      @@alainnnah
      Haha pagan? Pagan is a pretty broad term. Do you still worship a specific god? If so, why? You realized that your original religion wasn’t true, and so you just switched to a different religion? Sorry if that’s too personal to discuss. I’m just curious.

    • @garrusn7702
      @garrusn7702 3 года назад

      @@alainnnah Why choose to be pagan?

    • @anarchomando7707
      @anarchomando7707 3 года назад

      @@garrusn7702 probably thought it would be fun, and a lot more than niche than atheist
      I respect it seeing as you have multiple choice and all of them are flawed, giving no absolute power

    • @CroatiaSurvival
      @CroatiaSurvival 3 года назад

      @@garrusn7702
      You don’t choose your religion or lack there of.

  • @StrangePan
    @StrangePan 8 месяцев назад +10

    It’s reassuring to hear that Rhett, a creator I’ve been following since my Christian days, has gone through a similar, painful (albeit more so) deconstruction process as I did. Thank you for sharing your experience, it really resonated with me!

  • @AnnieBeeswax
    @AnnieBeeswax 2 года назад +41

    I’m watching this two years later and laughing at Rhett’s anxiety about his hair because he wears it like that all the time now haha.

  • @lauraacevedo1308
    @lauraacevedo1308 4 года назад +1096

    Imagine getting run over by Link lmao.

    • @huhnsjdjxnfn
      @huhnsjdjxnfn 3 года назад +51

      dream come true lmfao

    • @saegerrr
      @saegerrr 3 года назад +28

      I would die happy

    • @bella.3015
      @bella.3015 3 года назад +4

      @@saegerrr lmao 😭😭😂😂

    • @the_resa_
      @the_resa_ 3 года назад +2

      @@huhnsjdjxnfn 🤣🤣🤣

    • @FishininFunkyTown
      @FishininFunkyTown 3 года назад +13

      I would tell him to give me a job and we're all good.😂

  • @franklopez6159
    @franklopez6159 4 года назад +469

    Ironically, Rhett looks more like a missionary right now with his long hair and beard lol

    • @clarencetheshark1433
      @clarencetheshark1433 4 года назад +3

      More like a hipster, but to each their own.

    • @lm7338
      @lm7338 4 года назад +1

      An Orthodox monk if anything along those lines

    • @EowyntheFair88
      @EowyntheFair88 4 года назад +6

      You must never have met any missionaries...

  • @exittomenu
    @exittomenu Год назад +138

    rewatching this playlist again and damn, Rhett is a masterful storyteller

  • @stevegroh4520
    @stevegroh4520 Год назад +7

    As someone who has walked away myself it is awesome and encouraging to see others who have also gone through the same process. Thank you for this

  • @BB-hm1qn
    @BB-hm1qn 4 года назад +1109

    never been the most die-hard fan of the guys and only watch gmm occationally.. but this, this right here is amazing content

    • @vamppanic
      @vamppanic 4 года назад +25

      No Comment ikr. been watching for years but these eb’s are really hooking me in

    • @spike28
      @spike28 4 года назад +25

      same position man. This shit gave me a whole new view on the world.

    • @JAFAtuber
      @JAFAtuber 4 года назад +5

      You all must live shallow lives if you found this profound or insightful. This is pretty much cliche. Seen it since my teens, and I'm 50.

    • @TheJohnnyonthespot1
      @TheJohnnyonthespot1 4 года назад +50

      @@JAFAtuber Did you grow up in a fundamentalist Baptist household in North Carolina? I'm the same age and from the same background as these guys and although I deconverted much sooner than them, their thought processes mirror a lot of my own. Or if you're still a "believer" dismissing what they say, well, OK, let's all live our best lives.

    • @anomaly3826
      @anomaly3826 4 года назад +18

      @@vamppanic TBH this content is way better than their GMM and MORE content. I love it all but this... THIS is so much more relatable. This is something that so many people can relate to. It really starts to turn the cogs in your mind and lets you question things about your self without forcing anything on you. It's just a view into someone else's religious thought process and how they dealt with it.

  • @InternetMother
    @InternetMother 3 года назад +961

    It's been about a year since this originally aired and a year since I listened to this in my car and decided to officially leave the church. Sharing your story has made such an impact and I'm so grateful for the both of you for taking a risk and talking about your exit from the church. I think what really did it for me was that they also grew up in the south. Leaving the church in a extremely religious location is MUCH different than leaving the church in a mostly agnostic/lightly-religious area. When you leave the church here, you are going against your entire upbringing, your school, your family, and all your friends. It is a truly isolating and humiliating experience and I was given the courage as a fully grown adult to finally cut my ties to the church. I have never felt more free in my life, thank you.

    • @BintonGaming
      @BintonGaming 3 года назад +63

      Every now and then I visit the comments on this series of podcasts just to read stories like this one. Leaving the church, especially with everything in your life going against doing so, is the hardest thing to do and thats awesome you made that choice. I did the same thing and it did so much for my personal growth and my relationships with others. I just wanted to validate your journey because it really is tough, especially when you feel like youre on your own. thanks for sharing!

    • @InternetMother
      @InternetMother 3 года назад +27

      @@BintonGaming Wow, thank you so much for sharing and commenting here. The Mythical family really is one of the best out there and I've always felt a sense of home here. It's also been comforting since my exit from the church to find so many other people who have had the same exact experience as me. I felt so alone at the beginning because I felt as though I was the only one going through this. I really appreciate your response, have a great day :)

    • @alexandrarathert1839
      @alexandrarathert1839 2 года назад +18

      Thank you for sharing a bit of your story!! I left the church, too. I was active in the church-led worship, was there multiple days per week, constantly busy-and it was a LOT. I didn’t leave because I was busy. I left because I became increasingly skeptical about the way the church operated. I read the Bible word for word, and that’s why I left. I’m also in the Bible Belt (Tennessee), so I completely understand what you mean. It was hard, but I couldn’t stay because I couldn’t bring myself to believe church doctrine. That was a year ago, and I haven’t looked back. I’ve grown more in a spiritual sense, and I’ve also grown exponentially as a person. I no longer have anxiety attacks or panic attacks, and I feel so free. Not many understand this decision, though, and that’s okay. I’m much happier this way.

    • @robasiansensation3118
      @robasiansensation3118 2 года назад +13

      Haley, I just read your post last night, and was thinking about it again this morning. I also walked away about 30 years ago. Hope you are doing well. It's not easy, but then it is at a certain point. You find your tribe, so to speak- when you live your life authentically and not by beliefs squished into your brain starting at birth. You find your own path. And it can be awesome. keep seeking your own truth. Happy for you and all of you dancing to your own song, no matter how weird or quirky it may be.

    • @thepalestiniankufiya
      @thepalestiniankufiya 2 года назад

      @@robasiansensation3118 have you guys looked at other religions

  • @AG-hx6qn
    @AG-hx6qn 2 года назад +48

    Man I wish I didn't put off listening to this when it came out, but perhaps I wasn't ready... thank you.

    • @TheAngryAtheist
      @TheAngryAtheist Год назад +6

      Thats a real thing. I was teetering when i encountered Christopher Hitchens, and then when i finally did, i could only watch his debates a few minutes at a time because the anxiety of having my entire worldview come apart at the seams was unbearable.

  • @samsnothavingit2788
    @samsnothavingit2788 2 года назад +6

    Coming back to watch this after listening to rhetts new song on repeat for the last week, both his and links stories are very vulnerable and honest and inspiring, I appreciate both of them for sharing something like this with us, my dad was super religious when I was little, we lived in like the Bible Belt of Florida and I remember him talking so badly about my step sister and her girlfriend, saying she should be ashamed to show her face in the church after kissing another woman and it “wasn’t right” i was like 14 when that was going on, I didn’t understand how he could say that about her we grew up together and he practically raised her as his own, it terrified me to think what he’d say if I told him I also like women so I never did, he passed when I turned 16 and I stopped going to church , I moved to Seattle to live with my mom and my sisters , they love me and embrace who I am, i still talk to my “step sister” who is now my step brother 💖, I love my dad and I miss him very much and I hope he would’ve loved me regardless but I will never know, maybe I will get to see him again somewhere and find out one day when I leave this plane of existence, who knows idk

  • @ScarboroughLane
    @ScarboroughLane 4 года назад +373

    I listen on iTunes but I had to come leave a comment when this posted. Rhett, when you said you don’t know what happens when we die but you’re more interested in what happens while we’re alive it really got to me. I was crying like a baby in my car because of how much that resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your story ♥️ starts around 1:17:00 if you missed it

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 4 года назад +4

      That'd be 1:17:00 right?

    • @ScarboroughLane
      @ScarboroughLane 4 года назад +1

      Justin yes thank you, I’ll edit my comment

    • @michellefalcione8873
      @michellefalcione8873 4 года назад +1

      Sarah Beth San Souci I completely agree! Such a beautiful way of focusing your life for anyone.

    • @klmeyer9907
      @klmeyer9907 4 года назад +1

      I am doing that now.

    • @stephaniesmith118
      @stephaniesmith118 4 года назад +3

      That part honestly made me stop what I was doing immediately. What a powerful, amazing philosophy for being in the present. I want to try to use it in my own life.

  • @pphillips21
    @pphillips21 4 года назад +206

    You look like rhett playing rhett in buddy system

  • @decisionsvision332
    @decisionsvision332 Год назад +9

    I feel like this whole conversation was so insightful, but rounding it out with the simple notion of focusing on his own life instead of life in general is amazing. As an atheist, I spend a lot of time thinking about religion, spirituality, and the world in general but that statement really makes me want to prioritize my love of the people around me. Thank you for sharing. Sending my love to everyone.

  • @leileleileleile
    @leileleileleile Год назад +12

    I'm so glad you guys did this. What a service.
    This video (and a song by James and the Shame) were recommended to me a few weeks ago and actually been my intro into GMM and you two.
    I'm just incredibly grateful you were vulnerable with this--I didn't grow up evangelical Christian but I relate a lot to questioning and following the truth about my life and what I believed to be true... and how it led me to some very, very challenging places, but ultimately a better place.

  • @z00z00m
    @z00z00m 4 года назад +271

    It's almost midnight and I've been listening for over an hour... I'm crying... this is my story. the same basic steps, the same heartache when you're just waiting for anything to respond...
    Thank you...

    • @EddieJWilliams
      @EddieJWilliams 4 года назад +4

      Sorry my friend. I feel your pain. But better answers exist than this. Keep going

    • @gFamWeb
      @gFamWeb 4 года назад +1

      I will offer my advice: go to where you will feel at home.

    • @davidallan2948
      @davidallan2948 4 года назад +6

      Hey Josiah, you and me both. I’m 5 years into this exploration and new season in life. The bad news is that it hasn’t become and easier with family and friends. I have lost many as a result. The good news is that I feel a deeper peace and stronger curiosity towards life than I ever have. It has been the greatest adventure of my life.

  • @whythesilence
    @whythesilence 4 года назад +721

    I was going to drink today, but I didn’t because of your podcast.

    • @whythesilence
      @whythesilence 4 года назад +42

      I’ve learned so much about life from watching you two

    • @lillianreine1683
      @lillianreine1683 3 года назад +24

      This is such an underrated comment.

    • @adamhahn6634
      @adamhahn6634 3 года назад +16

      Just don't be afraid to admit to yourself that you might need help. Even if it's time and time again.

    • @sanctuarybear7830
      @sanctuarybear7830 3 года назад +12

      I cried when I read your comment. I felt your heart in the bold decision to change your mind about something, based on the idea that a man changed his mind. This is a more powerful comment than most will realize and, because of that, I thank you for sharing.

    • @diasiacherese8079
      @diasiacherese8079 3 года назад +4

      God bless you

  • @rivkadanielle4606
    @rivkadanielle4606 10 месяцев назад +13

    Watching this 3 years later before I watch the "3 years later" video. Currently deconstructing/deconstructed & I am so grateful for you & your story

  • @bengibson8907
    @bengibson8907 7 месяцев назад +6

    I used to watch Good Mythical Morning, but stopped many years ago, and watching this made me realise how intelligent and eloquent Rhett is. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @rengstrom
    @rengstrom 3 года назад +394

    You questioned your beliefs and you took an honest look at them and concluded that you had bad reasons for believing them. I think that really shows that you're an intellectually honest person who cares about the truth.

    • @HuubHeesakkers
      @HuubHeesakkers 3 года назад

      Strong INTP right there :D

    • @Alex.Kalashnik
      @Alex.Kalashnik 3 года назад +4

      @@HuubHeesakkers INTJ right here. Went through a similar period in college, where I questioned and debated, but my faith strengthened as a result. I did shed unnecessary cultural traditions, but the core of the Christian faith is as real to me as ever. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have always been an independent thinker and never just took anyone at their word. Plus, I never expected scientific certainty from a relationship with God. That approach seems really strange to me. Trust is not a scientific concept, but it is quite real and powerful.

    • @HuubHeesakkers
      @HuubHeesakkers 3 года назад +2

      @@Alex.Kalashnik Good going! If only the entire world was made up from intuitives.. (especially the 'thinkers') humanity would suddenly advance way quicker.

    • @akashajones6079
      @akashajones6079 2 года назад +1

      If that is true about Rhett, then when is he going to take an honest look at eating meat and see it for what it is, wrong. It's wrong because of how we raise the animals to be eaten, not just the fact we eat them btw. Look into the documentary Dominion, it's free online.

    • @GerardPerry
      @GerardPerry 2 года назад +1

      It shows that he didn't understand what he thought he believed. It doesn't demonstrate that the Word of God is not true.

  • @GrapplingIgnorance
    @GrapplingIgnorance 3 года назад +142

    Rhett is absolutely right about kids learning far more from modeled behavior than they ever will (or could) from explicit lecture. It is backed by common sense, pedagogy and child psychology. Thank you both for being brave enough to share your stories in such a vulnerable and candid fashion.

  • @BrianAndrewStephens
    @BrianAndrewStephens 2 года назад +68

    Im going through a deconstruction of my own and I want to say thank you for this. Don't typiclaly watch videos this long on youtube but I needed all of it. Thank you for being transparent.

  • @stewartking4928
    @stewartking4928 Год назад +15

    I love your channel and I had no idea you had the same story as me. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witnesses. I woke up from my indoctrination about 6 years ago. I’m shunned by all of my family and friends. But the mental freedom is worth every tear. Thanks for this Rhett.

  • @juliehere4yang763
    @juliehere4yang763 3 года назад +658

    Just found these guys last night on a random RUclips search... and wow. My husband and I have been going through our own deconstruction for the past few years after some especially traumatic life events. We’ve lost our communities, family and friends- and most people from our past don’t even know yet. We were full time missionaries here in the states and to Asia from a very charismatic church (yet I was raised Catholic...whole other story). The most devastating thing to me, is the realization of how CONDITIONALLY I have “loved” and been “loved.” I’ve found something much closer to unconditional love outside of religion, church, or ideology. It’s so much easier to love yourself and other people when you don’t have to convince or convert. Thanks for this guys... it’s desperately comforting to hear others stories and be able to relate so very much. I’ll definitely keep following your journey ✌🏼

    • @juliehere4yang763
      @juliehere4yang763 3 года назад +4

      @@colecrump164 Thanks Cole! I love the Liturgists so much!! They are one of the first podcasts I found around deconstruction. I have yet to get involved in the community there but I really need to and your comment reminded me of it. Thanks 🙏🏼

    • @margedensley9175
      @margedensley9175 3 года назад +2

      Steve McVey’s “Beyond an Angry God” and “The Divine Invitation” are great for those fed up with religion. He’s got a FB page too which is very good.

    • @abbeyo89
      @abbeyo89 3 года назад +6

      I'm so sorry that the church disappointed you. I normally don't write comments, but I was compelled to say this though: Even if the people who make up the church did not love you unconditionally, God does. I'm sorry for how you've been treated, and I understand your doubts. I just wanted to let you know that while people will always be short of perfection, God is always dependable. I hope that you're able to find that :)

    • @shuggarbhabewomensworkwear9565
      @shuggarbhabewomensworkwear9565 3 года назад +5

      Great job guys!!!! Takes very strong courageous people to do that! It’s better to walk alone than to walk with negative people. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @seanheany444
      @seanheany444 3 года назад +2

      And go watch these guys be hysterical on GMM and GMMore

  • @cruisergear9601
    @cruisergear9601 2 года назад +683

    Left Mormonism after 32 devout years. Your story is so relatable and so helpful. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave to share. It has helped me immensely to know I'm not alone!

    • @wolftitan
      @wolftitan 2 года назад +27

      I was Catholic of 32 years, I'm 34, an now reject all of it. Yes that means I was baptized into it. It suddenly started to occur to me how cult like all religions are. Then I started to think for myself. I now consider myself Evolved, or no need for a deity. I know the right thing to do with a religion telling me that there's some sort of afterlife. I think it's far more important to focus on this life.

    • @cruisergear9601
      @cruisergear9601 2 года назад +8

      @@wolftitan amen brother! Very similar stories! Also 34. Also born into it. Currently apatheistic. I wish you well on your journey! 🖖

    • @wolftitan
      @wolftitan 2 года назад +2

      @@cruisergear9601 My journey truly has just begun. I am way past atheist, as I call myself the Evolved. But I find it funny how few people know where Amen comes from (Amun-Ra, the Egyptian god).

    • @duceswylde6532
      @duceswylde6532 2 года назад

      Bro how it take you 32 years??

    • @emcrolls
      @emcrolls 2 года назад +15

      The Mormon Stories podcast has great resources for anyone deconstructing or looking for a context for history & religion

  • @that1weirdkid27
    @that1weirdkid27 2 года назад +8

    I grew up in a young earth creationist family, and went through my own deconstruction of faith when I was in college. It matters a lot that you shared this. I have been watching Good Mythical Morning for years, and only heard about Rhett's deconstruction of faith recently. I'll definitely be watching Link's video next. Thank you so much for sharing.

  • @anxiousbarbie340
    @anxiousbarbie340 Год назад +3

    I grew up in a very strict Christian household. My family are all still Christians but I deconstructed in my last years of college after attending a Christian college and actually being exposed to the Bible and real theology for the first time. For me, all those years of doubt finally fell away and once I no longer felt guilt about that doubt, I was free. I’m now an atheist and I feel free, but still mourn the years and experiences I lost due to my commitment to my faith. It still makes me angry and sad to think of what I could have been if I hadn’t been trapped in religion. I related to so much of what Rhett discussed. Thank you so much Rhett, for sharing this. It’s not an experience everyone can understand but it always feels better to know that other people have gone through it too. I can’t talk to my parents about it, or any of my other family, so it’s comforting to hear it from someone I admire. Thanks to you both for being vulnerable and sharing your stories.❤

  • @blobfish.
    @blobfish. 3 года назад +921

    I'm only a few minutes into this but:
    Rhett: "Do you want to hold my hand?"
    Link: "If you need it, sure."
    I know Rhett was kidding but Link's answer was moving. More non-toxic masculinity on the internets please. ❤️

    • @kylerockwell9573
      @kylerockwell9573 3 года назад

      @@bryanmesa1642 stroke?

    • @bryanmesa1642
      @bryanmesa1642 3 года назад

      @@kylerockwell9573 idk too bro i went to sleep while listening to ear biscuits

    • @e.w2857
      @e.w2857 3 года назад +22

      Language and Programming Channel bruh what

    • @gunselshaly537
      @gunselshaly537 3 года назад +39

      @Language and Programming Channel
      You're telling me we don't live in a society where there's a negative stigma around men who express emotions, rather than doing the "masculine" thing of bottling them in until they self-destruct and/or hurt others? Don't be foolish. Toxic masculinity is certainly real.

    • @gunselshaly537
      @gunselshaly537 3 года назад +13

      @Language and Programming Channel
      It is.

  • @juniorfosho_1472
    @juniorfosho_1472 4 года назад +101

    When I started college I started to question my faith. When I moved to a different city I started reading stuff by some famous theologians like Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, or evening modern people like RC Sproul, J.I Packer, and others; I actually started to believe more. Reformed Theology for me allowed me to have a more systematic way to look at my faith in a more tangible and ironically philosophical way.

    • @julsbuy1baubles
      @julsbuy1baubles 4 года назад +3

      Nohan Jr - I LOVE this!! Thank you kindly for sharing your story!

    • @EvilFrootLoop
      @EvilFrootLoop 4 года назад +2

      Pub member? Same boat!

    • @cathebrooks63
      @cathebrooks63 4 года назад +8

      RC Sproul is very hard to argue with Id say. He makes things so easy to understand. I feel like if you have questions like Rhett's you should look for his explanations. I feel like your "quest" for truth can become, arrogance and pride more than a search. Or, possibly ease from earthly struggles.

    • @Renewed_Mind
      @Renewed_Mind 4 года назад +3

      I often believe reformed theology leads to these stories of deconstructed faith even more. I think the resources of an Wesleyan Arminian theology can be unmatched in helping doubters navigate their faith

  • @andrea.dandelion
    @andrea.dandelion 2 года назад +1

    I know it's been nearly two years since this episode of Ear Biscuits was posted, but I just discovered this episode last week (in January of 2022) and this is so... I can't even find the words. Only a few months ago, I stopped believing in god and I left my church, and I didn't realize how heavy and devastating it would be to lose my faith and deconstruct (I had never even heard this term, "decconstruction" in terms of faith, until this Ear Biscuits episode), and even though it has been so difficult, and I'm still trying to figure things out, I have found immeasurable comfort listening to Rhett's story. My entire perspective on life, my worldview, an integral part of who I am, is breaking down, and I am beyond grateful that Rhett has shared his story. I resonate with so much of it; I cried listening to a few parts of his journey. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I look forward to hearing Link's story too. I love you, Rhett and Link.

  • @helenarosno
    @helenarosno Год назад +6

    59:15 was a very poignant section that resonated with me a lot. i grew up catholic with an incredibly catholic family. i still feel guilty that my beliefs no longer align with theirs. i completely understand rhett when he talks about how torturous this transition period can be. when you finally start expressing your disbelief to your loved ones. it's something that people who grew up in non-religious households will never understand. i loved, "you just cant make yourself have faith". i went to church two days a week. i prayed about five times a day. i did everything i was supposed to. i was trying to "wait out" the doubts because i was so afraid of what i thought was true. and then, the pain of staying the same, and the pain of constantly lying to myself and others was finally greater than the pain it took to change. i still havent talked to my family about all of this, but i will... once i graduate and am financially stable enough to support myself because i will be expecting some sort of disownment to happen

  • @jasmineling5517
    @jasmineling5517 4 года назад +332

    I find it fascinating to hear about people's journey to faith, and from faith. I think that it's very brave to talk about things as personal and divisive as this, but that's what makes it good content. Thank you.

    • @obscurefaith
      @obscurefaith 4 года назад

      Are you educated in this subject? I am a little confused and love to speak further about this subject.

    • @jasmineling5517
      @jasmineling5517 4 года назад

      @@obscurefaith I'm a little educated on it, what's your question?

    • @CatInTheBoxStudios
      @CatInTheBoxStudios 4 года назад

      @@obscurefaith ruclips.net/video/JC9fHrLHBfM/видео.html

    • @Danny__Noble
      @Danny__Noble 4 года назад

      David Bazan of Pedro the Lion has an interesting story

    • @obscurefaith
      @obscurefaith 4 года назад

      @@jasmineling5517 oh my. I didn't realize you replied. Apologize Jasmine. Do we have a way to speak privately?

  • @ThoughtProvokingVlogs
    @ThoughtProvokingVlogs 4 года назад +856

    Rhett is duch a great linguist. Everything he says is so well-thought out and easy to understand. Even with the notes he's written. You can just tell he has a sense of wisdom and empathy within him. Meanwhile I write sentences with 'duch' rather than 'such'.

    • @jonashartung3019
      @jonashartung3019 4 года назад +3

      Great humour dude😂😂

    • @juhRave
      @juhRave 4 года назад +2

      You’re a teenager, your standards are rather low.

    • @danielvanoaksiii4018
      @danielvanoaksiii4018 4 года назад +1

      I think you meant “douche”

    • @EdgardoSalas
      @EdgardoSalas 4 года назад

      LOL. I went along with it, cringed in some parts, and lost it when he said "hopeful agnostic." Bruh, what does that even mean?

    • @mysigt_
      @mysigt_ 4 года назад +17

      Edgardo Salas he explained it right after he said it. Agnostic = don’t know or can’t know (about the divine, supernatural), hopeful = hopeful. It’s not rocket science.

  • @isabelwynn7006
    @isabelwynn7006 2 года назад +2

    « Im more interested in what happens while I live » hit me so hard. Instant tears. Thank you, THANK YOU for sharing your story.

  • @LiftedStarfish
    @LiftedStarfish 2 года назад +17

    As somebody who has never had any kind of faith, it is often an interesting experience for me to watch deconstruction stories.

    • @noahboucher125
      @noahboucher125 2 года назад +1

      It really gives a lot of perspective hearing an ex-believer talk about how they lost their faith.