When my girls were at that age (9-12) when they wanted to start wearing bikinis, we had a serious, graphic talk as a family. The occasion was an upcoming end of school pool party. "Everyone" was going to have a bikini. 🤦♀️ I told them the bikini was not an option, end of story. We went round and round, loudly, until I asked them if they would go to the party wearing only a bra and undies. Their response was a horrified "No!!" Then I asked what the difference is. 😮 I won that round. Then their Dad sat down and talked frankly (and carefully) about the fact that men are hard wired biologically to be stimulated visually. Women not so much. He talked about being a man and having to learn the self control required to deal with women who dress provocatively deliberately and not. *You might not do that, but other girls might, and how do you feel about that when it's your brother, friend, boyfriend? My girls never forgot the afternoon, and the discussion. They're in their mid 20's now and tell me they've shared those insights with a lot of their peers along the way, most of whom were surprised into new insights. My husband and I didn't get everything right - what parent does? But we got this one. 🕯️🙏 Pax
I'm from Vietnam. I grew up in a very traditional Southeast Asian home where my mother would not let me go outside in shorts. Since I was 8 years old, my mother put me on the swimming team, and for me, the swimsuit is a uniform. I have taken part in some national contests and realized no one would take you seriously as an athlete if you wore a bikini to the performance. That's why I only tried to put on a bikini one time in my life to see how I looked just to feel extremely awkward. Right now, I'm a 30-year-old woman, married, converted to Catholicism this year, and I can testify that God has been keeping me modest the entire time through my mother and my upbringing.
If someone raises the argument of "because I want to" in a religious forum, then they're automatically wrong. In religion, we do what God wants. Not what 'we' want to do.
The lord wants to give us the desires of our hearts (and of course, he wants our hearts to align with his will). "Because I want to" shouldn't be followed if it contradicts God's direction, and I don't think it's valid in the swimsuit discussion, but it's a good reason to do many other things.
Modesty is a virtue. My wife is the type who generates a lot of attention because of her figure in normal clothes, so she never would wear a bikini in public without being quite covered up. That's the classy thing to do, and I admire her choice to do that. A lot.
Besides what Elizabeth discusses in this video, I recall coming across a series of quotes attributed to C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity”, which might also help articulate these varying nuances. Here they are below: “The Christian rule of chastity must not be confused with the social rule of ‘modesty’ (in one sense of that word); i.e. propriety, or decency. The social rule of propriety lays down how much of the human body should be displayed and what subjects can be referred to, and in what words, according to the customs of a given social circle. Thus, while the rule of chastity is the same for all Christians at all times, the rule of propriety changes. A girl in the Pacific islands wearing hardly any clothes and a Victorian lady completely covered in clothes might both be equally ‘modest’, proper, or decent, according to the standards of their own societies: and both, for all we could tell by their dress, might be equally chaste (or equally unchaste). Some of the language which chaste women used in Shakespeare’s time would have been used in the nineteenth century only by a woman completely abandoned.” “When people break the rule of propriety current in their own time and place, if they do so in order to excite lust in themselves or others, then they are offending against chastity. But if they break it through ignorance or carelessness they are guilty only of bad manners. When, as often happens, they break it defiantly in order to shock or embarrass others, they are not necessarily being unchaste, but they are being uncharitable: for it is uncharitable to take pleasure in making other people uncomfortable.” “I do not think that a very strict or fussy standard of propriety is any proof of chastity or any help to it, and I therefore regard the great relaxation and simplifying of the rule which has taken place in my own lifetime as a good thing. At its present stage, however, it has this inconvenience, that people of different ages and different types do not all acknowledge the same standard, and we hardly know where we are. While this confusion lasts I think that old, old-fashioned, people should be very careful not to assume that young or ’emancipated’ people are corrupt whenever they are (by the old standard) improper; and, in return, that young people should not call their elders prudes or puritans because they do not easily adopt the new standard. A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.”
I so agree with you. Bikinis are like walking around in one's underwear...and so I have never worn one...never. I so appreciate that you emphasize upholding the dignity of all people, especially the women who do wear them.
The History of the invention of Bikinis is as controversial like itself.Louis Réard,working in his parent's lingerie factory,wondered how he could get women to wear underwear outside and invented the Bikini in 1946.Naturally no respected models would wear it back then and thus he had hired a ecdysiast to wear it!Now through the power of desensitisation,it is considered a normal swimsuit choice.😢
Bikinis are undergarments, through and through. There's no exception. It's just a socially acceptable way for you to share most of your body with the public. If you wore only that much at home, we would say that is only for your spouse's eyes. But because its a "swimsuit" it doesn't matter! The mental gymnastics they have us going through to be okay with bikinis in public is ridiculous. They still make swimdresses, and you can wear leggings underneath the swimdress in case the skirt comes up. That's what my girlfriend does when she swims, and I am so thankful that she wants to save revealing herself just for me in our future marriage. It's such a commendable thing, especially in today's oversexualized culture. And she tends to avoid pool parties because she doesn't want to be subjected to shirtless men, and I don't blame her. Because of that, I have decided to switch to more modest swimwear as well. I wear hiking pants and a swimshirt. Saves you money on sunscreen and I feel so much more comfortable than I ever did when I wore trunks. I always felt conviction about it, just never brought it up because I thought it was just normal to show that much skin when publicly swimming with others. It's not. They've just normalized it. Thanks for the video! I appreciate you covering this topic. Yes, men need to be able to control their gaze, and women (and men!) need to be much more mindful of how much of their bodies they are showing to others.
It’s funny to come across this video. I literally just had this conversation with my 14yr old step daughter! She is very mature for her age and thinks deeply about what she does and what is going on in the world. She decided all on her own to start wearing one piece suits all of the time! Before this decision she would only wear a 2 piece with her mom, bc her dad and I wouldn’t allow it. But good sense crept in and I’m so proud of her for stepping away from the ‘social norms’ Keep your body sacred ladies!! And help our men keep their minds pure!
Like the Fonz said once, "When you put out an ad, someone is going to come answer that ad. Hey!" A) what exactly are girls advertising, even if they don't realize it? B) are they prepared for whatever creeper comes to answer that ad that they sent out/invitation?
As a man who has struggled with pornography and sins of lust, it’s very difficult for me to go to the beach. It’s basically an occasion of mortal sin for me. I’m not sure if most Catholic men feel this way, but I really struggle with it. **Just an update to this original comment above. I am not in any way blaming women for my own struggles with sinfulness. Yes, I know that they are beloved daughters of God and I do truly try to pray for them and for the grace to see them in the way that God sees them. Many of you have pointed out that this is likely a venial sin rather than mortal. I agree, I should have said an occasion of sin, not an occasion of mortal sin. Still, we're supposed to avoid occasions of sin right?
Nowadays it's difficult to go anywhere! Women leave very little to the imagination now! Pants and leggings that are basically skin. It's so sad. I'm straight but I'd never wanna be with a woman that wears clothes like that. It really speaks volumes about a person who dresses like that.
As a young catholic woman, Im SO sorry women are frankly very selfish and wear bikinis because they want to...sure some I think simply grew up wearing them and also their mothers wore them so it's just normal to them, but some women KNOW BETTER and are choosing not to be convicted ....the amount of Christians and even catholic women I see share bikini photos online is so sad
@@brandonromano315 maybe if you simply allowed yourself to look without the weight of enormous guilt and shame...you would be okay. Men are visual and notice...why do much effort and energy to suppress? You are not going to take a running leap and catapult yourself up on her.
@@geoffcaflisch1352That's the neat part; the actual Catholic way of handling this, which is the actual Christian way of handling this, is not and will never lead to suppression. What *is* suppression? I have a craving for steak, but I cannot afford it until payday, four days away. All I think about is that much anticipated meal, that I cannot have. Food Network has a special on great steak restaurants and it drives me crazy. I know I can't have it, but I want it. By the time I am able to have it, the built up anticipation makes me devour it without thought of anything else. That is suppression. I have a craving for steak, but I cannot afford it until payday, four days away. I do not want to think about it and make my wait worse, so I reject the want itself. I refuse to think about it when it comes up in my thoughts, I can't have it, so what is the use? I avoid Food Network. By the time I have the steak in front of me, I savour it and am much grateful for it with a modest gratitude. This was not suppression. With lust, it itself is a sin. We must reject the want itself or we have already lost by entertaining it, for entertaining it is consent to it and a mortal sin. Our Lord said a man who looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Lust being a sin in of itself, even a married man cannot 'indulge' in it with his own wife, sin is not indulgence but death. Chastity is demanded by all; chastity, which is purity of mind, different from celibacy, purity of body. The sexual act is an act of love, not lust; the love of man and woman which brings forth new life, the cooperation of man and God Who provides the soul for the conceived child. Those who have had sex based in love, and those who have in lust, can testify themselves of the differences between the two. How much greater still is the sex based in love with no touch of lust. But how can it be done? With our Lord, all things are possible. Ask anyone who has suffered from perversion only to be made pure by Him, how they did not think it was possible. Temptations work patience, and patience is a perfect work. In longsuffering, we carry our cross and follow Him. And the more our patience is worked, the more merit, virtue, and holiness grows. It gets easier! Our love of Him becomes greater than all else which cannot compare.
Bikinis are definitely NOT modest. There is no reason to go practically nude in public. There are literally modest bathing outfits made for swimming. Thank you for mentioning rash guards, that’s literally what I wear at the beach. Protects you from the sun as well as immodesty. I wear a rash guard and swim leggings with a shirt over the top.
Well, my daughters in their twenties go to the beach with friends and they would never wear rash guards!! They are young and beautiful girls, why should they dress like their eighty five year old grandmother?
@@geoffcaflisch1352Also very much immature and undisciplined. Theology of the body has a certain respect for treating the body as temple. Not as an object to attract lust or pride for wanting to put yourself in other's faces for the sake of your own ego. Being real, most people who get very lax have some opposition to church teachings in general and a weaker prayer life. I would love to see someone devout actually managed to have an inspirational spot in the faith. Because more than not, there's a lot of complacency with degeneracy.
@@inspiers69 well, why assume that they are almost naked simply because they wear swimsuits that are tasteful but modern and stylish. They would ship at stores for young women their age ...they are certainly not obligated to cover themselves from chin to knees so as not to create temptation for a full grown man!
@@dontewithdragonsso when you say immature and undisciplined ...I imagine that this is geared towards the wardrobe choices of women and specifically young women ...never anything about dress codes for men!! I think tasteful is fine but having been a child of the 1960's ...Catholic elementary school where nuns instructed girls as young as nine years old to cover arms as they could be an " occasion of sin" for the boys. Nuns would literally pull preteen.girls out of class and have them kneel so they could pull out a tape measure to ensure the uniforms hit the knees!! Lots of depression and shame and embarrassment. Let's not go back to those days. Not healthy for anyone and the implicit message was that girls were responsible for misbehavior of males! As a parent of daughters ....no way,!
I agree with you about the reason you are wearing them. There are IMO more modest bikinis than others. I think they are easier to put on and take off especially if you have to go to the bathroom. Peeling a wet bathing suit down and putting it back on is not easy and my bits aren’t even that big. I think most women aren’t doing it for attention. But honestly there are one piece swimsuits that look sexier than some bikinis. So I think overall just be comfortable and don’t wear them intentionally for attention, take a modest approach.
This is where I am at. I have a bikini, but it's more modest than my underwear. High waist, los around the legs. Covers the chest significantly. And when it comes to going pee, it's way more practical and that's really important to me. The only reason I switched to two piece swimsuits was because I started surfing in my mid-20s and wearing that under a wetsuit made life way easier, and I just got used to it. Now, after medical issues and being on steroids, ain't nobody lusting after me in a bikini. Especially my relatively modest bikini, lol.
Biggest thing for me as a guy... See the whole person just like you said near the beginning. Doesn't help me to just look away. One glance and I've got enough fuel do undress her in my mind's eye, but if I am looking at her heart, begin praying for her, and consider the wounds she could be carrying, that makes it a lot harder for my imagination to take me places I should not go.
Mmm yes, I wonder how helpful it is simply just to wonder about the person. Who are they? What are their joys and pains? It makes them human rather than something inanimate to our minds. When I was very young I used to wonder about people (especially older) sitting alone on busses or cafeterias and I would wonder about their life. Its amazing how much a bit of thought can humanize someone.
It seems to me, there is no reason for a woman to wear a bikini in front of others except to show off her body. It's always made me laugh to think a woman would be embarrassed to wear her underwear in front of her brother in law for example, but then struts out in a bikini to go for a swim. I truly believe most women really have no idea what men are thinking because I didn't. Remember it's not just the guy you want to attract that's looking at you... It's the creepy guy by the fence or bar, it's a teenage boy just trying to figure things out, it's your sister's husband or maybe even Grandpa. Would we disregard their struggles if it were a different problem like alcohol, drugs, gluttony? or would we at the very least try to not be a hindrance to virtue for others?! Can a woman or girl really not find a comfortable swimsuit that isn't so revealing? I just don't believe it. The problem is trying to address this topic with women relatives/friends over 40+ these days who still dress in revealing swimwear and wanting to tell them 'hey that's kind of awkward around my preteen son and my husband".
As a younger woman, this has been one topic I’ve struggled with so thanks for this video. Currently wear a “bikini” that’s a skirt bottom that covers mid stomach down to just above my knees and it helps so much with feeling comfortable at the beach
I think that is so beautiful that you’ve taught your children to pray for those who might not know their own dignity. I’ve been like that before and I love the thought that a little girl could have prayed for me before the Lord
I was one who did not know her own dignity…and appreciate all the prayers that helped me to know the love, mercy and forgiveness of Jesus. Now I pray for those who are still struggling.
100% Agreed. The way I see clothing has changed substantially since having a daughter. And even before then, from having a wife. I have become more appreciative of modesty, and now find it more beautiful as well as more dignified.
Im from Poland and we have such a difrrent view on the nudity. I have never fest objectified for wearing a bikini. And when talked about it with male friends, it doesn't master. I think that John Paul II's "Theology of the body" looks how it looks is because he was from Poland. Historicly in Poland we have a cery diffrent looks on women. As women we had rights, were seperate legal entities since the 10th century (till 20th century husbund was legal support, could stand in her name, but didnt have to)
Thanks for posting this video and your thoughts. I've been a beach boy for decades (I'm now in my 50's); I live by the beach. I would have loved for my two little sons to be beach boys, but the immodesty has gotten worse and worse. It's sad. My wife made a comment years ago that stuck with me. On seeing a scantly bikini girl, she said they don't have a DUDE in their lives. And by that she meant a strong man to look after them both physically and spiritually. So my call is to fathers, husbands, even bothers and boyfriends, with love but firmly don't let the girls in your live be undignified. Be strong; eventually, they'll love you for it.
What about men wearing swimsuits that are essentially the same as boxers. Or tighter fitting briefs. Women also have desires, the discussion should not be focused just on women's dress at the beach.
Ladies have no idea what it does to a male brain when we see the bikinis these days. Please help us with our challenge it is to avoid lust. The long term benefits of not living in a society constantly eliciting lust will help both men and women have dignity.
I agree with this faithful Catholic woman, except for the “anti-judgment” talk. We are in this mess because our forefathers and sisters didn’t judge. No bikinis 🚫
I agree no bikinis but the truth is that too often people judged harshly and then as a result people over-corrected and now say that ALL judgment is bad.
@@theinvestigativemillennial9381 I doubt that most judged too harshly, the opposite is true historically. Please, go back in time and see what was tolerated and pushed while churchgoers remained affixed to their pews.
Spot on, it's always shocking to see old footage of how people dressed in the early 1900's, comparing it to now the standards as 600 ft below the earths crust
Bikinis are literal underwear they are not appropriate. My mom never let me wear them growing up and I wasn’t a Christian then. My family isn’t Christian but my mom always said bikinis are underwear
Modesty and virtue are also important; it is not only the man's job to control his emotions and lust. For questions like this, just ask yourself: Would Our Lady, Mother Mary, wear bikinis in this day and age? There is your answer.
Immodesty is such a strong catalyst for encouraging people to fulfill their desires in pornography. Be kind to men, ladies. It’s very difficult to keep chaste and modest.
Even as a male I agree with this, yes we are to keep our eyes from lustful thoughts. But females are not supposed to wear them. Your answer was biblically spot on.
Short answer: No, women should not be wearing bikinis. While we're at it, let's also get rid of revealing two-pieces in general, midriff bearing shirts, short shorts, miniskirts, and tight clothing. And I agree with the bishop in the story that was crying--it is incredibly depressing to me how many beautiful women there are out there who sell their beauty for occasions to sin. Instagram is mine field of these types of women.
Thank you so much. I was in daily Mass yesterday and there was a woman a few pews ahead of me in short shorts, which is not an uncommon occurrence here during the Summer. As a man who has struggled with pornography and come out of it, the mere feeling of arousal can feel sinful, especially in the holiest of moments, such as at Mass. I know this is probably disordered, but I just tried to keep my eyes closed at every possible moment during the Mass, so as to not risk feeling aroused. I prayed afterwards that the Lord would help me to understand this experience, such as when to look and when not to look. I believe this video was an answer to my prayer, and it has helped me to understand that merely feeling arousal is not sinful, but it is where we allow that arousal to take us, be it into prayer and care for the person or into playing with sexual thoughts.
My dad use to say a woman could wear potato sack and some man would find way to drool over her - That was 50 yrs ago. ( No porn needed) so to be honest it's not so much what she's wearing maybe, but your own project ( believe me I'm no saint if see a pretty girl and I can have all kinds of thoughts and won't even notice what she had on.) - A shorter list would be what man hasn't struggle with porn.
This is great, AND I think she was wrong for wearing short shorts. She could have worn a breathable dress instead. There are other ways to keep cool. It’s a man’s responsibility to view women with dignity but it’s also women’s responsibility to not tempt men unnecessarily. That doesn’t mean we need to hide our figures or be ashamed, but a little thoughtfulness in how we dress can go a long way.
The shorter list would be what man hasn't watched porn? I think this a you problem,and not her problem -and your definition of short shorts? Or she could have worn a dress maybe a little longer than the said shorts and you could have had the same feelings. But that said , if it was such an issue for you could've moved?
I'm sorry to hear this. You should talk to the pastor & ask him to address how people dress for church. I think that the church is not the beach & should be talked about
Tankini + Swim skirt = I feel modest and non body conscious recently my SIL was wearing a thong and getting creepy men stares in a hotel spa, and her brothers felt so uncomfortable as this guy was even taking pictures!!!
Women who wear obviously sexually provocative clothes and also complain about being ogled by men are extremely hypocritical. We have all been conditioned by the ways of the world to worship the body and elevate sexuality in all of it's (often perverse) forms. We ALL need to examine our thoughts and behaviors with the help of the Holy Spirit and the word of God, and not just blindly accept what society tells us. As a man, it is pretty much impossible in our world today to not see provocative sights. I am responsible for how I navigate this: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
I don't know why but this sentence positively striked me: "The Lord has prepared you for such a time as this and He's giving you all the grace to be virtuous person in this place" 10:28
Way out of context. If you want to qoute Scared Scriptures do it in the Apostolic Tradition of the church. Which I taught that simple Nudity is not a sin. If you like read a Pastoral letter the Pope John Paul II. Wrote while a Bishop back in Poland about Nudity.
@@ronaldbobeck9636 since I was a kid I always referred to running around in my underwear as running around naked. My comment is within the context of the video where the speaker compares wearing a bikini to walking around in underwear. It is very easy to see where your heart is at, so I will pray for you.
@@ChrisMartin-vl1uy No where will you find Simple Nudity is a Sin.. Many works of Renaissance Art that were sponsored by the Church have Nudity in the subject . That course in Art History finally got some use. But, I appreciate the prayers. Never go to a beach in Europe or Brazil. Which is the Largest Catholic country in the world.
@@ronaldbobeck9636 I believe you are trying to put words in my mouth but your words are your own and come from your heart. I posted the words of Jesus here and thank you for your persecution. I then posted my perspective as a young child in whom belongs the Kingdom of God. I will now attempt to help you realize that until this next phrase, I have not mentioned the word Sin, nor have I mentioned "Simple Nudity is [or is not] a Sin", that was your heart brother. Still praying for you, this is a real struggle that I can see you openly expressing both sides of it.
@@ccjjmartin I guess I need to.re read the Catachism. How in the Sam Hill have I persecuted you?.I am using Logic and Rhetoric. Some thing that was taught at my Catholic College, Kings college, Wilkes- Barre Pa. There is a book you might want to read , Faith and Doctrine by Fr. Gregory Baum. Catholic Theologian worked on Vatican ll reforms. . He makes the case that a Catholic does not have to accept every doctrine of the Church and still be Catholic.
It’s a cultural thing for me. In most African countries it’s not acceptable to wear bikinis 👙. It’s basically being in your underwear in public. So when I moved to the USA I tried to exercise some well earned freedom. Well, my ancestors turned in their grave. After that day, I got me tankinis to uphold the culture 😂
@@georgepierson4920 I’m talking of my society and my lived experiences. I am from Nigeria, it’s a very religious country and conservative. Good luck trying the topless thing there.
I get the cultural thing. I had a friend who's now a priest from Micronesia (he studied a U.S. seminary) who shared with another friend of mine that in his island, when they had celebrations, the women would bear their breasts out. So that meant seeing his mom and grandmother's breasts as an adult 🤔😮🤨😳
I workout partly because I want a body that looks good in a bikini, but NO I wouldn't feel comfortable prancing around in public in a bikini, even if I could rock one like it was going out of style. I always wear a pair of shorts over my swimsuit to feel dressed appropriately.
This is soo true.I try to curb my desires but if a woman is wearing that Its like she is naked.I as a man wish women could be more modest.I also find modesty more attractive.
It's interesting in this country ( USA) nudity is such a issue ( puritan throwback) a lot of the scandinavian countries'.Even in European France, Germany, Even Italy home of vatican doesn't have such a hangup about it, and where nudity is contention of stigma. I have Norwegian (northern minnesota) relatives where We would visit on a week or weekend when I was kid everybody sauna naked from mom and dad to kids on down - also grandma and grandpa too. - if your discussing porn that's a whole nother issue.
So you would be in a sauna naked between 14-18 with your grandpa and your father? Or your Mom is naked in there with her father-in-law? I'll admit, it doesn't seem puritan just common sense not to do that. Also, the number of little kids that have been molested by family members... I think it's just protecting those kiddos from feeling comfortable in a situation where they probably shouldn't be comfortable. Just my take on it. I get that we should be comfortable, but in the day and age of porn, it's just not wise.
@@parkwalks8562 Its been done in the family for generations , and there's nothing sexual about it, It's how we grew up. And your right it's not puritan. But wasn't they're claim to posterity burning witches? Quite a Legacy. I think our family traditions are much more tame.
Puritanism is a heresy. Because the puritans thought of every earthly pleasure as evil, even the body itself. It is more a gnostic way of thinking, where the body is a prison for the soul and has to be overcome, not that the body and it's pleasures are a gift, but like all gifts have to be used ordered and responsibly, which is the catholic view. On the topic, i don't mind if women wear bikinis, but i don't wear hem myself. I prefer bathing suits that are not too revealing. I just don't want my belly or my girls too much out for everyone to see. That is my husbands privilege😊
As I finished this video I felt like crying. It is a shame how we have spoiled and perverted God's blessings and gifts into our greedy and lustful versions of it.
3:14 not necessarily! When you go to the beach, you wear that outfit coz it suits the occasion. It may not be the right thing but it's wrong to assume the intention behind the outfit. When you see a man wearing an underwear to the beach you don't say "oh he wants attention" same with women. Not all wear it for affirmation, but rather simply coz it suits the occasion.
@@holyromanemperor420 coz they are comfortable in it! Besides I've never seen a man dress modestly to a beach either. People go to the beach to relax, hence they wear whatever they want. If you're going for a wedding you'd wear what most men wear, a suit! My main point here is not saying bikini is good to be worn. My whole point is " DON'T ASSUME THE INTENTION IS ALWAYS TO ATTRACT MEN" it's not always the case.
It makes me think about stories from Auschwitz. People who were "lucky" enough not to go straight to the gas chamber, were stripped naked and shaved so that "not a single hair was allowed to stay on your body". How do you maintain your dignity in such a situation? So yes, choose your clothes with awareness. But don't make your dignity depend on what you're wearing. Please, don't make such a connection in your mind. I understand that it's not what the video is trying to say but I needed it to sound loud and clear that the dignity does not depend on clothes or anthing like this.
When I first encountered the opinion that bikinis are problematic, I just didn't want to accept it. But I knew immediately it was true. Getting rid of my 2 piece swimwear was a huge leap of faith aided by much grace - literally every suit I owned was a bikini at that time. In additional to societal pressures, I have a long torso and 99% of one pieces are just too short for me...and if I'm being honest, my self consciousness about my cellulite was offset by positive comments about my stomach. How could I afford to cover it up? Fast forward a few years, the word that sums my current experience with swimwear (usually a cute one piece with little shorts) is FREEDOM. I can have fun at the beach or in a pool without giving a second thought to what others may or may not think about my body. It's been the best trade ever - ego for freedom. May God bless all of you who are struggling with the decision to switch to one piece swimwear (or tankinis). As an aside - Jessica Rey is so great! She even has pear shaped, long torso suits. Such a gift.
Sorry, I disagree. The body still needs to be respected even if they were naked. (disclaimer, I'm married, and not into porn. There's a lewd way to move the body, and a way that's beautiful. It's not about the amount you're wearing) There's nothing wrong with being affirmed for being beautiful. If the common person is wearing bikinis. Wear a bikini. If the common person wears one piece, wear a one piece. I agree that you should not always show the body; but not to the extent to make it an evil thing. Whenever it is seen, it is beautiful, and this video is causing women to feel aware and ashamed of their body. You make men to be like perverts. Most are protectors of women. I don't like that. Be beautiful! It's not challenging to be on a beach with ladies in bikinis. You just respect people. Those who walk in the spirit, can not fulfil the lust of the flesh. It's not a problem. I hate that your standard is so dignified, yet calling bikinis wrong, but one piece swimsuits good, and yet I know a sect of people who are way more covered at all times, even on the beach, and they'd call you a pervert for wearing a one piece. And I know people who wear bikinis that full circle would say wearing a long dress on the beach is immodest. With so many standards, you all judge one another. Stop judging about this. It's wrong! The Bible says to "not judge by outward appearance" . Just be of the same mind. If most people are wearing bikinis, wear one. If most people are covering, cover. Stop making it so dogmatic as if modesty = how much you cover. When it actually means how blended in you can become so that you don't stick out. Your separation from the world is your faith; not your clothes, or food or drink. People are way too religious about their clothes, and judge each other to be showing too much, while only wearing a little more than they do. Hypocrites; I hate it. Just compliment one another, and be beautiful! If a bikini is beautiful on you, wear it! Just don't be alone and go flirting with everyone and anyone. Be beautiful, but also be protected with family and friends. Just my 2 cents.
Agree with almost everything you wrote. Swimming is my favorite sport and I do go alone often. Not interested in flirting, I'm there to exercise and if it's sunny enjoy the sun.
It seems like grown women shoulf be able to use maturity and good judgement to select the swimsuit that makes them feel comfortable. The idea that every woman who wears a two piece is doing so because she fails to recognize het own dignity seems to painting with an awfully broad brush...it may simply be a preference and some one piece bathing suits can be very revealing.
Yes, I completely agree. So often, this video included, bikinis are vilified without being defined. I think you can have a modest two piece swimsuit but you can also easily have an immodest one piece. It's not how many pieces or the amount of fabric that makes it modest or not. What matters is that what is intimate and sacred is covered fully so to preserve that quality. I think this video did a better job than most covering this topic but that is my one critic. Thanks for covering this important topic.
@@veronicakitzhaber4435 I think we need to clarify further what "covered fully" means. My view is, the reproductive organs should not be perceptible as it is reserved for the sexual act. A thin layer, see through, or any clothing that conforms to the figure of the reproductive organs could then be considered unchaste.
@@dreistheman7797 I completely agree. If you say that the reproductive organs should be fully covered then that informs both men and women as a guideline for modesty. It's simple and clear while still giving plenty of room for personal style preferences. Growing up I thought the only way to dress modestly was to wear a one-piece swimsuit like a professional swimmer would. Now I would not wear that style as it reveals too much of the lower region, the reproductive area which is the most sacred.
What's your take on men having our shirts off at the beach? - a younger man who recently got fit and more comfortable with my body, but don't want to invite lust
Personally, I think it’s a bit different. But if you feel as though you’re being immodest, then wear a rash guard or swim shirt. This is coming from a man so idk
@@geoffcaflisch1352 that’s not what I’m saying at all. I SPECIFICALLY ended my statement saying “I’m a man so idk” because I wouldn’t know what could invite lust for a woman. Please be charitable
@@scrapdog2113 nothing uncharitable but women are not as visual as a whole. I do struggle with what seems like an outdated concept leaving all clothing modifications the responsibility of women.
I mean, if we are for upholding modest social norms in general, I'm not going to complain if there's now covering rules for men. It's not just during the beach that us men are shirtless. I'm going to say it's not due to equality that this is fair, but due to charitability since hypocrisy would be opposing a double standard.
Men and women are not wired internally the same way. Men are much more visually oriented. Women wearing bikinis (or anything revealing) is like waving a bottle of whiskey in front of an alcoholic. I know, all the feminists will say the entire burden is on men. Just don't look. That is cruel.
That is a low bar you have set for all male kind. I think we are a bit better than an alcoholic looking at booze. God made a good creation. We aren’t “wired” for sexualizing women and if you are currently in that mind set there are ways out of it like prayer, meditation, reading on the subject, learning to respect and appreciate women, spending time with Mary, etc
Yes, men are so much stronger than that. What we need to do IS judge the evil and see it for what it is. A beautiful woman doesn't want men to lust after her. That is not beauty. That is evil and it's ugly. Beauty elevates. Real beauty has to elevate, that is what beauty is. A women wearing almost nothing is a slave to lust and thinks she will get sexual power. Not all women are like that. Not all men are slaves to lust or pornography. We live in a hypersexualized world that teaches men that they are purely visual and are to be controlled by pornography. Where do you get this idea from that men are so visual that they can't control themselves? It's a lie. The devil certainly loves that lie because you're easy to control. You're made in God's image. If you're a Christian, you're no longer a slave to sin. Those women have no control over you. We have many strong men in the church and we need more. You're not an evolved animal, but a human made in God's image. I hate when the world speaks of men as weak impulsive animals. They are so much stronger, but if we tell our son's that they have no self control, then it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Too many men have lost how precious their masculinity really is.
@@LauraBoehringeractually I think a lot of women DO want men to lust after them. It’s sad but I think the majority want that. If it weren’t so, then we would not see the majority of fashion trending the way it is
This calls for so much that a single comment can't cover it I think that you calling attention to this to your children & praying is too much. Really, you should rethink that approach. And not go to the beach or public pools with your husband & kids.
You ask him if he's looking lustfully at others. If he says he's not, believe him unless there's concrete proof that he's lying. If he confesses he does, then forgive him and ask him to not do it; ask him to look away from those people. If he refuses to look away, ask him to not go to the beach for a while and maybe spend some time telling to him about it and praying and maybe even talk to a priest or marriage counselor about it.
Thank you so much for this beautiful video. What has been said is very important and we need more conversations about this topic. We as men, must purify our hearts and eyes. And women must recognize their dignity and have fraternity to the men. Women, listen: Bikinis are a lie from the enemy. Good men will see you in all your dimensions as a human being and wearing a bikini can be a really red flag for some men, at least for me it is. Protect yourselves from this evil lustful pornographic culture.
what is the best way to pray for a girl who shares bikini photos on instagram? who my heart breaks for? how do I approach her and talk to her without her perceiving me as judgemental... when really I am just trying to help her.
Why are hot models in bikinis used on that front cover of magazines? I think culture has sexualized skimpy bikinis. Some bikini bottoms are basically a thong or a g-string. Speedos are immodest for men.
I have a Womans perspective. First is, even as a young girl, and as the only sister with 4 brothers, I couldn't understand why my brothers got to wear shorts to go swimming, but I had to wear the equivalent of underwear. I never liked it. I'll just add now, I love that there are more concealing and fashionable Womans swimwear now! I love the swim shorts and the skirts. I wish I would have had those options in my youth and in my young adult hood. Second, men designed these swimsuits. most fashion is designed and sold by men. so, I don't understand why woman are blamed for the designs of fashions for woman. There are no modest options for swimwear for men. Not until the last few years anyway. For us, this is just normal. PS, there are a lot of woman who don't go swimming at all, or decline pool party invites because of the swimwear. it's like you have to accept what you have to wear if you want to hang out at the pool or beach.
I took wish we had access to swim shorts/skirts and tankinis when I was growing up. I love them now though on the rare occasions I go to a pool or the beach.
@@Seaglass4869 I've been going to a river a lot in the summer for stand up paddle board, and I always were my shorts thing with a skirt over my suit, I feel perfectly covered.
My two cents here: habit doesn't make the monk. That said, fighting lust doesn't depend on other people's attitudes or garments. It's like blaming others for something that's purely personal. We're not amish. If you can't control your desires because of some girls in bikinis on the beach, the problem is yours, not theirs. Fighting a temptation is something that we have to do by ourselves. Don't judge others and don't blame others for your own issues. Work on them by praying, talking to your local priest about it, etc.
You're right. We're not Amish, we are catholic. And as catholic women, who do we look up to? The Blessed Virgin Mary! And would she wear a Bikini? Totally not. Besides that, I don't know if you are aware, but if you read any good catholic examination of conscience (which, if you're a practicing catholic you should definitely use to prepare yourself to go to confession) you will see that dressing immodestly is a MORTAL SIN. Why? Because you're a near occasion of sin to others. Simple. Our Lady said, when she appeared in Fatima "Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much. Woe to women lacking in modesty!"
I'm brazilian, and here that thong bikini is quite common. I remember when I first saw it, more than 35 years ago, how shocking it was. I was not even aware, it was just unusual. Then, some time ago, talking to some non religious male acquaintances, there was this consensus that the only difference between bikinis and lingeries is the fabric.
In my own experience, bikinis have absolutely nothing to do with lust. My own lustful habits are driven by things like stress, loneliness, frustration with my own life, and things like this, plus a lack of appropriate strategies to cope with these. Those are all on me. Bikinis have as much to do with lust inherently as banks do with robbery. And this video presumes to read a person's state of mind and their relevant life circumstances based on what they are wearing. I'm not going to make any subjective evaluative comments about that, but I will point out the simple self-evident fact that it does this.
Yea it seems like this video restated the same old talking points and doesn’t get to heart of the matter. We should talk to our daughters and loved ones about what is appropriate to wear. That being said bikinis are fine for those who want to wear them.
There's the concept of being "inherently sexual". In the sexual act, a man and a woman needs to have their reproductive organs bare to perform the physical and covenantal union within the marriage. The closer it is to being nude, where reproductive organs can be made out, the closer it is to being inherently sexual.
@@dreistheman7797 There is the concept of "inherently sexual." There is also the concept of "not inherently sexual." You do need to have your organs exposed in order to have sex. But the converse, that you need to be about to have sex in order to have your organs exposed, is not true. If it were, I shouldn't be able to take a shower without pleasing myself, and you shouldn't be able to go to the doctor for a physical exam without having a sexual experience. But that is obviously not the case. So you may find nudity inherently sexual, while others don't. If you do, nobody belongs telling you that you should go ahead and expose yourself when you don't want to. But you also don't belong telling other people how to manage their own state of dress because of your own inability (or perhaps unwillingness) to separate one from the other. Also, for at least some people, it is precisely the concept of "inherently sexual" that leads to and feeds lust. If you walk around on the beach, for instance, and you perceive every bikini on the beach as a sex act about to happen and involve you, you're going to get aroused, and it's going to be on your brain. If you go around seeing everyone on the beach as simply dressed the way you dress when you go swimming, it's not going to have the same effect. If you tell a person who finds this "not inherently sexual" that it is inherently, and they adopt your view, you will have led them towards lust and sexually acting out, and not away from it, by putting sex on their brain when it wasn't before. And that, together with the judgmentalism and presuming to read other people's minds, is my issue with this video.
Pet peeve of mine: immodesty=/=scandal Immodesty is not just evil because it turns a women into a voluptuous temptress. Although it certainly does and if a women dresses immodestly for the sake of tempting men she commits scandal. But immodesty is fundamentally sinful because it increases pride. It says no, I can draw attention to myself look at me! Why Saint Paul you hurt my feelings when you insinuate that my bikini is vain!
There are PLENTY of modest swimsuit designs! I’ve found some that are like shorts and a tank top with a bikini bra underneath and it’s comfortable and cute! Our bodies are for our spouses, and NO-ONE ELSE.
Just saw this. I am a grandma way up there! Back in the day we did not wear bikinis. But we looked terrific. In our amazing, sleek and good looking swimsuits that made us look gorgeous. People don’t realize they don’t need to have all of their body parts showing. It gets a little boring after a while. But as you said, it’s about dignity. I never thought it was about dignity. I just wanted to look cute in a cute, bathing suit. And frankly they should too. Today the problem is a culture we have a sexualized. Everybody is supposed to be a pinup girl and a play girl! How pathetic that is right? People need to be teaching their children like that one lady on the comments when they’re young and explain the whole thing. ….it’s very hard I know. But it is what it is. Do we follow God or do we follow people? Back in the day we had the song itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka Dot Bikini. But we didn’t. I’ll run to get one ha ha.
Today I went to a beach in France (Catholic country) and the 3 women next to me were not wearing bikinis.....they were topless! God bless feminism!!!!😀
2:15-2:18 Funnily enough I brought this up to my stepmom and her response made me laugh: "Well they are not the same, it's different in context." But how? Why do women feel ashamed to go in their skimpy underwear but when it's the beach they don't mind. It really has been mind boggling.
I'm 54. My father's generation was so different because before, sat, 1960, people wore appropriate clothes for ever occasion. The wash and wear thing also plays a role. The liberalism of choice makes things harder.
Here's the thing, which you did touch on. Not all bikinis are the same. My thinking here is two fold, though I agree people should clothe themselves appropriately. First off, in the privacy of your home pool, bikinis are fine, and are great for getting a tan, and people should have the choice to have one. Second, you can pick one that covers your bottom and bosom well. For actual swimming I dislike them as they tend to not stay put well, especially if they are too skimpy. Third, while I believe women need to be responsible for their own dignity, men also need to be responsible for their own thoughts. No amount of clothing will change impure thoughts, just as no one can control the way another chooses to dress. We are ultimately only responsible for ourselves and its unfair to place responsibility on another when they don't have any means of control of another besides themselves. In short, my husband likes my bikini, so I wear it at home in our pool. When I'm in a public setting I have a one piece. Fourth point I will make is that regardless what suit you choose they are all form fitting due to the nature of the material used, which is chosen not because it is clingy or revealing, but because it doesn't absorb water in large amounts and dries quickly, which have two obvious applications: not having a heavy garment that can cause drowning and the obvious bane of women in particular die to our God given anatomy, yeast infection caused by prolonged contact to moisture ridden garments in that area. Sometimes we have to make comprises in our choices of dress. I believe it can be done appropriately to a given situation while still remaining practical. Swim in your one piece and after you dry a bit, throw on a wrap. Best of both worlds, especially since we have access to different things now than were available in the old days. We will all be faced with challenges in our lives, but I believe our minds are the most important thing to keep in the right place, not just what we have to wear. I really never gave much thought to other bathers attire, unless it was grossly inappropriate, but it tends to be more of a personal disgust, since I don't particularly want to see other people's bottoms and such. If you're covered, I have no problem. Once upon a time, Adam and Eve were naked, and because of their innocence there was no sin. God said it was good. We know better now, also because of them, but we can still start with our minds. It must have been an important detail, or it would not have been in the story. I believe the significance is more than simply them gaining knowledge, but why God thought they didn't need that knowledge, because their innocent pure thoughts were higher than what was in front of them.
I totally agree with your position of not wanting to see other people's butts. For me this also applies to the current trend of wearing leggings as pants 🤢. People might want to show off their behinds but not everyone wants to see them.
If we fall into sin so easily why is this concept not applied to wealth? We live so lavishly where we are discussing wardrobe but it’s okay to be wealthy despite the clear temptation and harm associated with it
Surprised that there was no mention that apparently a prostitute had to be paid to model the first bikini, because no women desired to be seen in one. Maybe that is not a true story, but i have read and heard that in a few places. My second thought, as a married man, is i wonder what your thoughts as an institute would be on lingerie as a marital aid for a couple? Is it legit, sinful, etc? It would seem to be a great follow up to this video.
I come from Brazil. In my culture is okay to wear a bikini. In the same way, it is okay for men to wear speedos, not shorts when going to the beach. There is a huge cultural difference about this. And your body is not to be ashamed of. I agree that the way you wear clothes matters, wearing bikinis and speedos is less a problem than showing shoulders or ankles.😊
Yes, and this is a reason for, in some places like Rio de Janeiro or Bahia, wearing less than anyone would wear in the north of US is not offensive. Of course, it depends on the context. Nobody would go with bikinis to a wedding.
As a European convert catholic girl It took me a bit to understand this and really understanding some parts of my body should only be for me and my husband to see ❤❤❤ i really understand this as a way of loving and respecting myself and loving my husband and as a sing of "you are the only one allowed to see me as a whole, aprecciate It ;)". Understanding this particular aspect of modesty has made me feel really empowered as a women Who knows her valué and dignity❤
I do want to point out one thing. Not everyone has a spouse who affirms their beauty. Some will, sure. Some will think their spouse is beautiful through the years, but others do not feel that way, and may provide RAW HONESTY instead of providing comfort. I suggest modesty to anyone, but we should not assume that if a woman or man is modest, this will result in any comfort in their physical appearance from their spouse. They may get honesty instead. Do not do your modesty for that reason.
Do you see it as controlling to not be okay with yourself and your partner going to the beach or activities where people probably won’t dress properly? My fiancée has become much more pure than he used to be but it just makes me so uncomfortable. We have different views on custody of the eyes and protecting our faculties, and I just can’t get through it. I avoid these things and want him to want to do the same… I believe we should still never presume to be so chased, and agree with St. Phillip Neri, but he thinks that “once you’ve seen one woman, you’ve seen them all,” and that it’s only an issue if he’s tempted in the moment, and doesn’t expect to be. It’s a painful issue. Please send a prayer our way and share your beautiful insights. Thanks for this.
Thank you for your honest and vulnerable comment! Count on our prayers for you and your fiancé. For more personal advice feel free to reach out to Elizabeth directly on Instagram @discerningmarriage. She loves getting questions from viewers.
I don't like bikinis because I like to swim and move around and they keep getting untied so I prefer a two-piece sports costume. I kind of would like to find a women's costume that has shorts on the bottom part, as men have, but I could never find that in Italy. The costumes you suggested in the video are more "modest" than bikinis, but they still look like underwear, even if they are one-piece costumes (and that website is so expensive!).
@@dacoolfruit Language is important, it's better if you state in the way I did in my first reply instead of leaving it up to personal judgment void of what we think God would approve of along with personal convictions
not to mention it makes people struggling with scruples be more legalistic. i don’t think bikinis in themselves are bad, there are some that are immodest but there are also takinis. we shouldn’t demonize a particular clothing that’s just going to make people anxious especially those who immediately go to no leggings or pants discourse, modesty is not a one size fit all we need to know our own personal sensibilities and take into consideration our culture. the issue isn’t bikinis it’s the fact that people have lustful thoughts and aren’t able to appreciate beauty as it presents itself. we are so afraid of engaging with those we deem immodest that we turn our eyes away rather than see the human dignity of that person.
I’m a Christian and I wear a bikini. Believe it or not, it’s never caused any problems for myself or others. Bikinis are the best because they don’t get full of sand like other swim suits.
Esther Rouimi makes beautiful sundresses very modest, she's from Florida, and I believe is jewish so it follows jewish modesty..... I bought one myself last year and I love it! I feel so comfortable in it!!! I do own a retro one piece but I still find one pieces to be a bit revealing. With this swim dress I dont care who im out with I feel great!
God bless you all and thank you for this channel, I got reminded by this: But you have neglected the more important matters of the law-justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. If you are a person who practices all the teaching os Christ and are trying to fulfill all rightiousness than its good you worry about the bikini, but the most important is mercy, justice, faithfulness, (Holiness) and then worry about the bikini.
Thank you for sharing these comments with minimal graphic images. Our memories are harmful enough. And it has to be difficult for any woman to put something like this together for anybody in the world to see and hear, so God bless you for doing it. I think there is a fundamental injustice for anyone to wear, encourage or leer at women wearing minimal dress, whether at the beach or anywhere else that random people might be. If a woman has physiognomy that the culture finds "sexy" or "hot," then wearing skimpy clothing disrespects the men (and women) who have a tendency toward lust. Also disrespectful of women whose bodies are out of the cultural "mainstream," either smaller or larger or disproportionate. And similar words could be written about young men who wear thongish attire.
When my girls were at that age (9-12) when they wanted to start wearing bikinis, we had a serious, graphic talk as a family. The occasion was an upcoming end of school pool party. "Everyone" was going to have a bikini. 🤦♀️
I told them the bikini was not an option, end of story. We went round and round, loudly, until I asked them if they would go to the party wearing only a bra and undies. Their response was a horrified "No!!" Then I asked what the difference is.
😮
I won that round.
Then their Dad sat down and talked frankly (and carefully) about the fact that men are hard wired biologically to be stimulated visually. Women not so much. He talked about being a man and having to learn the self control required to deal with women who dress provocatively deliberately and not. *You might not do that, but other girls might, and how do you feel about that when it's your brother, friend, boyfriend?
My girls never forgot the afternoon, and the discussion. They're in their mid 20's now and tell me they've shared those insights with a lot of their peers along the way, most of whom were surprised into new insights.
My husband and I didn't get everything right - what parent does? But we got this one.
🕯️🙏 Pax
You and your husband are great! Keep telling this story. We need more parents like you in our society. God bless you and your descendants! 😊
Our Lady of Fatima said in one of her apparitions that there would come many fashions that would offend God.
Exactly! Glad someone said it!
We're living during those times
I'm from Vietnam. I grew up in a very traditional Southeast Asian home where my mother would not let me go outside in shorts. Since I was 8 years old, my mother put me on the swimming team, and for me, the swimsuit is a uniform. I have taken part in some national contests and realized no one would take you seriously as an athlete if you wore a bikini to the performance. That's why I only tried to put on a bikini one time in my life to see how I looked just to feel extremely awkward. Right now, I'm a 30-year-old woman, married, converted to Catholicism this year, and I can testify that God has been keeping me modest the entire time through my mother and my upbringing.
Ah Vietnam Veteran here I know out in the bush, little kids did not wear clothes until puberty.
Your point is?
That’s awesome! Welcome home!
If someone raises the argument of "because I want to" in a religious forum, then they're automatically wrong. In religion, we do what God wants. Not what 'we' want to do.
100% spot on, it's usually born from selfish and inconsiderate desires.
The lord wants to give us the desires of our hearts (and of course, he wants our hearts to align with his will). "Because I want to" shouldn't be followed if it contradicts God's direction, and I don't think it's valid in the swimsuit discussion, but it's a good reason to do many other things.
Modesty is a virtue. My wife is the type who generates a lot of attention because of her figure in normal clothes, so she never would wear a bikini in public without being quite covered up. That's the classy thing to do, and I admire her choice to do that. A lot.
"class" has nothing to do with virtue
Besides what Elizabeth discusses in this video, I recall coming across a series of quotes attributed to C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity”, which might also help articulate these varying nuances. Here they are below:
“The Christian rule of chastity must not be confused with the social rule of ‘modesty’ (in one sense of that word); i.e. propriety, or decency. The social rule of propriety lays down how much of the human body should be displayed and what subjects can be referred to, and in what words, according to the customs of a given social circle. Thus, while the rule of chastity is the same for all Christians at all times, the rule of propriety changes. A girl in the Pacific islands wearing hardly any clothes and a Victorian lady completely covered in clothes might both be equally ‘modest’, proper, or decent, according to the standards of their own societies: and both, for all we could tell by their dress, might be equally chaste (or equally unchaste). Some of the language which chaste women used in Shakespeare’s time would have been used in the nineteenth century only by a woman completely abandoned.”
“When people break the rule of propriety current in their own time and place, if they do so in order to excite lust in themselves or others, then they are offending against chastity. But if they break it through ignorance or carelessness they are guilty only of bad manners. When, as often happens, they break it defiantly in order to shock or embarrass others, they are not necessarily being unchaste, but they are being uncharitable: for it is uncharitable to take pleasure in making other people uncomfortable.”
“I do not think that a very strict or fussy standard of propriety is any proof of chastity or any help to it, and I therefore regard the great relaxation and simplifying of the rule which has taken place in my own lifetime as a good thing. At its present stage, however, it has this inconvenience, that people of different ages and different types do not all acknowledge the same standard, and we hardly know where we are. While this confusion lasts I think that old, old-fashioned, people should be very careful not to assume that young or ’emancipated’ people are corrupt whenever they are (by the old standard) improper; and, in return, that young people should not call their elders prudes or puritans because they do not easily adopt the new standard. A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.”
This is so good! It really reflects Paul's message in Romans 14 to not be divisive over "disputable matters."
So smart, thank you for sharing. Time to re-read it I think.
Yet he was wrong. People became complete degenerates
I so agree with you. Bikinis are like walking around in one's underwear...and so I have never worn one...never. I so appreciate that you emphasize upholding the dignity of all people, especially the women who do wear them.
The History of the invention of Bikinis is as controversial like itself.Louis Réard,working in his parent's lingerie factory,wondered how he could get women to wear underwear outside and invented the Bikini in 1946.Naturally no respected models would wear it back then and thus he had hired a ecdysiast to wear it!Now through the power of desensitisation,it is considered a normal swimsuit choice.😢
Bikinis are undergarments, through and through. There's no exception. It's just a socially acceptable way for you to share most of your body with the public. If you wore only that much at home, we would say that is only for your spouse's eyes. But because its a "swimsuit" it doesn't matter! The mental gymnastics they have us going through to be okay with bikinis in public is ridiculous.
They still make swimdresses, and you can wear leggings underneath the swimdress in case the skirt comes up. That's what my girlfriend does when she swims, and I am so thankful that she wants to save revealing herself just for me in our future marriage. It's such a commendable thing, especially in today's oversexualized culture. And she tends to avoid pool parties because she doesn't want to be subjected to shirtless men, and I don't blame her.
Because of that, I have decided to switch to more modest swimwear as well. I wear hiking pants and a swimshirt. Saves you money on sunscreen and I feel so much more comfortable than I ever did when I wore trunks. I always felt conviction about it, just never brought it up because I thought it was just normal to show that much skin when publicly swimming with others. It's not. They've just normalized it.
Thanks for the video! I appreciate you covering this topic. Yes, men need to be able to control their gaze, and women (and men!) need to be much more mindful of how much of their bodies they are showing to others.
100% spot on and beautifully said. It's rare to find a woman with that kind of mindset, I commend you both
It’s funny to come across this video. I literally just had this conversation with my 14yr old step daughter! She is very mature for her age and thinks deeply about what she does and what is going on in the world. She decided all on her own to start wearing one piece suits all of the time! Before this decision she would only wear a 2 piece with her mom, bc her dad and I wouldn’t allow it. But good sense crept in and I’m so proud of her for stepping away from the ‘social norms’
Keep your body sacred ladies!! And help our men keep their minds pure!
This seems to infer that her mother was less concerned about your step daughters bathing attire.
Like the Fonz said once, "When you put out an ad, someone is going to come answer that ad. Hey!"
A) what exactly are girls advertising, even if they don't realize it?
B) are they prepared for whatever creeper comes to answer that ad that they sent out/invitation?
As a man who has struggled with pornography and sins of lust, it’s very difficult for me to go to the beach. It’s basically an occasion of mortal sin for me. I’m not sure if most Catholic men feel this way, but I really struggle with it.
**Just an update to this original comment above. I am not in any way blaming women for my own struggles with sinfulness. Yes, I know that they are beloved daughters of God and I do truly try to pray for them and for the grace to see them in the way that God sees them. Many of you have pointed out that this is likely a venial sin rather than mortal. I agree, I should have said an occasion of sin, not an occasion of mortal sin. Still, we're supposed to avoid occasions of sin right?
Nowadays it's difficult to go anywhere! Women leave very little to the imagination now! Pants and leggings that are basically skin. It's so sad. I'm straight but I'd never wanna be with a woman that wears clothes like that. It really speaks volumes about a person who dresses like that.
As a young catholic woman, Im SO sorry women are frankly very selfish and wear bikinis because they want to...sure some I think simply grew up wearing them and also their mothers wore them so it's just normal to them, but some women KNOW BETTER and are choosing not to be convicted ....the amount of Christians and even catholic women I see share bikini photos online is so sad
Never mind the beach...I struggle with temptation at the gym 🙄
@@brandonromano315 maybe if you simply allowed yourself to look without the weight of enormous guilt and shame...you would be okay. Men are visual and notice...why do much effort and energy to suppress? You are not going to take a running leap and catapult yourself up on her.
@@geoffcaflisch1352That's the neat part; the actual Catholic way of handling this, which is the actual Christian way of handling this, is not and will never lead to suppression.
What *is* suppression? I have a craving for steak, but I cannot afford it until payday, four days away. All I think about is that much anticipated meal, that I cannot have. Food Network has a special on great steak restaurants and it drives me crazy. I know I can't have it, but I want it. By the time I am able to have it, the built up anticipation makes me devour it without thought of anything else.
That is suppression.
I have a craving for steak, but I cannot afford it until payday, four days away. I do not want to think about it and make my wait worse, so I reject the want itself. I refuse to think about it when it comes up in my thoughts, I can't have it, so what is the use? I avoid Food Network. By the time I have the steak in front of me, I savour it and am much grateful for it with a modest gratitude.
This was not suppression.
With lust, it itself is a sin. We must reject the want itself or we have already lost by entertaining it, for entertaining it is consent to it and a mortal sin. Our Lord said a man who looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Lust being a sin in of itself, even a married man cannot 'indulge' in it with his own wife, sin is not indulgence but death. Chastity is demanded by all; chastity, which is purity of mind, different from celibacy, purity of body. The sexual act is an act of love, not lust; the love of man and woman which brings forth new life, the cooperation of man and God Who provides the soul for the conceived child. Those who have had sex based in love, and those who have in lust, can testify themselves of the differences between the two. How much greater still is the sex based in love with no touch of lust.
But how can it be done? With our Lord, all things are possible. Ask anyone who has suffered from perversion only to be made pure by Him, how they did not think it was possible.
Temptations work patience, and patience is a perfect work. In longsuffering, we carry our cross and follow Him. And the more our patience is worked, the more merit, virtue, and holiness grows. It gets easier! Our love of Him becomes greater than all else which cannot compare.
Bikinis are definitely NOT modest. There is no reason to go practically nude in public. There are literally modest bathing outfits made for swimming. Thank you for mentioning rash guards, that’s literally what I wear at the beach. Protects you from the sun as well as immodesty. I wear a rash guard and swim leggings with a shirt over the top.
Well, my daughters in their twenties go to the beach with friends and they would never wear rash guards!! They are young and beautiful girls, why should they dress like their eighty five year old grandmother?
@@geoffcaflisch1352why should they be almost naked in front of countless strangers?
@@geoffcaflisch1352Also very much immature and undisciplined. Theology of the body has a certain respect for treating the body as temple. Not as an object to attract lust or pride for wanting to put yourself in other's faces for the sake of your own ego. Being real, most people who get very lax have some opposition to church teachings in general and a weaker prayer life. I would love to see someone devout actually managed to have an inspirational spot in the faith. Because more than not, there's a lot of complacency with degeneracy.
@@inspiers69 well, why assume that they are almost naked simply because they wear swimsuits that are tasteful but modern and stylish. They would ship at stores for young women their age ...they are certainly not obligated to cover themselves from chin to knees so as not to create temptation for a full grown man!
@@dontewithdragonsso when you say immature and undisciplined ...I imagine that this is geared towards the wardrobe choices of women and specifically young women ...never anything about dress codes for men!! I think tasteful is fine but having been a child of the 1960's ...Catholic elementary school where nuns instructed girls as young as nine years old to cover arms as they could be an " occasion of sin" for the boys. Nuns would literally pull preteen.girls out of class and have them kneel so they could pull out a tape measure to ensure the uniforms hit the knees!! Lots of depression and shame and embarrassment. Let's not go back to those days. Not healthy for anyone and the implicit message was that girls were responsible for misbehavior of males! As a parent of daughters ....no way,!
I agree with you about the reason you are wearing them. There are IMO more modest bikinis than others. I think they are easier to put on and take off especially if you have to go to the bathroom. Peeling a wet bathing suit down and putting it back on is not easy and my bits aren’t even that big. I think most women aren’t doing it for attention. But honestly there are one piece swimsuits that look sexier than some bikinis. So I think overall just be comfortable and don’t wear them intentionally for attention, take a modest approach.
This is where I am at. I have a bikini, but it's more modest than my underwear. High waist, los around the legs. Covers the chest significantly. And when it comes to going pee, it's way more practical and that's really important to me.
The only reason I switched to two piece swimsuits was because I started surfing in my mid-20s and wearing that under a wetsuit made life way easier, and I just got used to it.
Now, after medical issues and being on steroids, ain't nobody lusting after me in a bikini. Especially my relatively modest bikini, lol.
Exactly!👏
Brilliant and brave talk: There are one - piece swimsuits that are attractive and amazing, let´s set trend this summer!
Go for it, sister!
I agree. As a man I’m going to start wearing a swim shirt too
Biggest thing for me as a guy... See the whole person just like you said near the beginning. Doesn't help me to just look away. One glance and I've got enough fuel do undress her in my mind's eye, but if I am looking at her heart, begin praying for her, and consider the wounds she could be carrying, that makes it a lot harder for my imagination to take me places I should not go.
Mmm yes, I wonder how helpful it is simply just to wonder about the person. Who are they? What are their joys and pains? It makes them human rather than something inanimate to our minds.
When I was very young I used to wonder about people (especially older) sitting alone on busses or cafeterias and I would wonder about their life. Its amazing how much a bit of thought can humanize someone.
It seems to me, there is no reason for a woman to wear a bikini in front of others except to show off her body. It's always made me laugh to think a woman would be embarrassed to wear her underwear in front of her brother in law for example, but then struts out in a bikini to go for a swim. I truly believe most women really have no idea what men are thinking because I didn't. Remember it's not just the guy you want to attract that's looking at you... It's the creepy guy by the fence or bar, it's a teenage boy just trying to figure things out, it's your sister's husband or maybe even Grandpa. Would we disregard their struggles if it were a different problem like alcohol, drugs, gluttony? or would we at the very least try to not be a hindrance to virtue for others?! Can a woman or girl really not find a comfortable swimsuit that isn't so revealing? I just don't believe it. The problem is trying to address this topic with women relatives/friends over 40+ these days who still dress in revealing swimwear and wanting to tell them 'hey that's kind of awkward around my preteen son and my husband".
Both my husband and I completely agree with you and thank you for talking about this in such a charitable way.
As a younger woman, this has been one topic I’ve struggled with so thanks for this video. Currently wear a “bikini” that’s a skirt bottom that covers mid stomach down to just above my knees and it helps so much with feeling comfortable at the beach
We're glad it was helpful, sister!
I think that is so beautiful that you’ve taught your children to pray for those who might not know their own dignity. I’ve been like that before and I love the thought that a little girl could have prayed for me before the Lord
I was one who did not know her own dignity…and appreciate all the prayers that helped me to know the love, mercy and forgiveness of Jesus.
Now I pray for those who are still struggling.
100% Agreed. The way I see clothing has changed substantially since having a daughter. And even before then, from having a wife. I have become more appreciative of modesty, and now find it more beautiful as well as more dignified.
You can wear a bikini as undergarments while swimming in public OR by itself while exclusively around your husband.
Bikini's are totally underwear!
You are absolutely correct!
Im from Poland and we have such a difrrent view on the nudity. I have never fest objectified for wearing a bikini. And when talked about it with male friends, it doesn't master. I think that John Paul II's "Theology of the body" looks how it looks is because he was from Poland. Historicly in Poland we have a cery diffrent looks on women. As women we had rights, were seperate legal entities since the 10th century (till 20th century husbund was legal support, could stand in her name, but didnt have to)
Great video. This is a great time to build a brand for conservative-like bathing suits. Thank you.
Thanks for posting this video and your thoughts. I've been a beach boy for decades (I'm now in my 50's); I live by the beach. I would have loved for my two little sons to be beach boys, but the immodesty has gotten worse and worse. It's sad. My wife made a comment years ago that stuck with me. On seeing a scantly bikini girl, she said they don't have a DUDE in their lives. And by that she meant a strong man to look after them both physically and spiritually. So my call is to fathers, husbands, even bothers and boyfriends, with love but firmly don't let the girls in your live be undignified. Be strong; eventually, they'll love you for it.
What about men wearing swimsuits that are essentially the same as boxers. Or tighter fitting briefs. Women also have desires, the discussion should not be focused just on women's dress at the beach.
Ladies have no idea what it does to a male brain when we see the bikinis these days. Please help us with our challenge it is to avoid lust. The long term benefits of not living in a society constantly eliciting lust will help both men and women have dignity.
I agree with this faithful Catholic woman, except for the “anti-judgment” talk. We are in this mess because our forefathers and sisters didn’t judge.
No bikinis 🚫
I agree no bikinis but the truth is that too often people judged harshly and then as a result people over-corrected and now say that ALL judgment is bad.
@@theinvestigativemillennial9381 I doubt that most judged too harshly, the opposite is true historically. Please, go back in time and see what was tolerated and pushed while churchgoers remained affixed to their pews.
Spot on, it's always shocking to see old footage of how people dressed in the early 1900's, comparing it to now the standards as 600 ft below the earths crust
@@Battlefield1918😂❤
I don't see the difference between bikinis and underwear. Add to that women in unholy postures on the beach.
What the heck is an unholy posture?
I also don’t see a difference
@@geoffcaflisch1352postures that suggest sexual objectification in behaviours, body language, walking and type of swim wear.
Yep. It's always been funny to me.
Bikinis are literal underwear they are not appropriate. My mom never let me wear them growing up and I wasn’t a Christian then. My family isn’t Christian but my mom always said bikinis are underwear
Modesty and virtue are also important; it is not only the man's job to control his emotions and lust. For questions like this, just ask yourself: Would Our Lady, Mother Mary, wear bikinis in this day and age? There is your answer.
🔥❤️
Immodesty is such a strong catalyst for encouraging people to fulfill their desires in pornography.
Be kind to men, ladies. It’s very difficult to keep chaste and modest.
Women are not in charge of curbing men's desires by covering up constantly or their propensity to view pornography.
Jesus did give advice on the subject
Jesus would say the opposite
Your lustful thoughts are NOT our responsibility. We are not responsible for your thoughts or actions towards us, full stop.
@@AandM8 Sounds like the adam and eve blame game, women should be considerate about the human sexuality and peoples souls.
Even as a male I agree with this, yes we are to keep our eyes from lustful thoughts. But females are not supposed to wear them. Your answer was biblically spot on.
Short answer: No, women should not be wearing bikinis. While we're at it, let's also get rid of revealing two-pieces in general, midriff bearing shirts, short shorts, miniskirts, and tight clothing. And I agree with the bishop in the story that was crying--it is incredibly depressing to me how many beautiful women there are out there who sell their beauty for occasions to sin. Instagram is mine field of these types of women.
Thank you so much. I was in daily Mass yesterday and there was a woman a few pews ahead of me in short shorts, which is not an uncommon occurrence here during the Summer. As a man who has struggled with pornography and come out of it, the mere feeling of arousal can feel sinful, especially in the holiest of moments, such as at Mass. I know this is probably disordered, but I just tried to keep my eyes closed at every possible moment during the Mass, so as to not risk feeling aroused. I prayed afterwards that the Lord would help me to understand this experience, such as when to look and when not to look. I believe this video was an answer to my prayer, and it has helped me to understand that merely feeling arousal is not sinful, but it is where we allow that arousal to take us, be it into prayer and care for the person or into playing with sexual thoughts.
My dad use to say a woman could wear potato sack and some man would find way to drool over her - That was 50 yrs ago. ( No porn needed) so to be honest it's not so much what she's wearing maybe, but your own project ( believe me I'm no saint if see a pretty girl and I can have all kinds of thoughts and won't even notice what she had on.) - A shorter list would be what man hasn't struggle with porn.
This is great, AND I think she was wrong for wearing short shorts. She could have worn a breathable dress instead. There are other ways to keep cool. It’s a man’s responsibility to view women with dignity but it’s also women’s responsibility to not tempt men unnecessarily. That doesn’t mean we need to hide our figures or be ashamed, but a little thoughtfulness in how we dress can go a long way.
The shorter list would be what man hasn't watched porn? I think this a you problem,and not her problem -and your definition of short shorts? Or she could have worn a dress maybe a little longer than the said shorts and you could have had the same feelings.
But that said , if it was such an issue for you could've moved?
@@BellaDevout my dad use say a woman could wear a potato sack and there would be some man drooling over her. And this is 50 yrs ago.
I'm sorry to hear this. You should talk to the pastor & ask him to address how people dress for church. I think that the church is not the beach & should be talked about
Tankini + Swim skirt = I feel modest and non body conscious
recently my SIL was wearing a thong and getting creepy men stares in a hotel spa, and her brothers felt so uncomfortable as this guy was even taking pictures!!!
Women who wear obviously sexually provocative clothes and also complain about being ogled by men are extremely hypocritical. We have all been conditioned by the ways of the world to worship the body and elevate sexuality in all of it's (often perverse) forms. We ALL need to examine our thoughts and behaviors with the help of the Holy Spirit and the word of God, and not just blindly accept what society tells us. As a man, it is pretty much impossible in our world today to not see provocative sights. I am responsible for how I navigate this: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
I wholeheartedly agree with your first sentence. If we dress sexy, you cannot expect no one to notice.
I don't know why but this sentence positively striked me: "The Lord has prepared you for such a time as this and He's giving you all the grace to be virtuous person in this place" 10:28
Jesus commanded us to clothe the naked
Way out of context. If you want to qoute Scared Scriptures do it in the Apostolic Tradition of the church.
Which I taught that simple Nudity is not a sin.
If you like read a Pastoral letter the Pope John Paul II. Wrote while a Bishop back in Poland about Nudity.
@@ronaldbobeck9636 since I was a kid I always referred to running around in my underwear as running around naked. My comment is within the context of the video where the speaker compares wearing a bikini to walking around in underwear. It is very easy to see where your heart is at, so I will pray for you.
@@ChrisMartin-vl1uy No where
will you find Simple Nudity is a Sin..
Many works of Renaissance Art that were sponsored by the Church have Nudity in the subject . That course in Art History finally got some use. But, I appreciate the prayers.
Never go to a beach in Europe or Brazil. Which is the Largest Catholic country in the world.
@@ronaldbobeck9636 I believe you are trying to put words in my mouth but your words are your own and come from your heart. I posted the words of Jesus here and thank you for your persecution. I then posted my perspective as a young child in whom belongs the Kingdom of God. I will now attempt to help you realize that until this next phrase, I have not mentioned the word Sin, nor have I mentioned "Simple Nudity is [or is not] a Sin", that was your heart brother. Still praying for you, this is a real struggle that I can see you openly expressing both sides of it.
@@ccjjmartin I guess I need to.re read the Catachism. How in the Sam Hill have I persecuted you?.I am using Logic and Rhetoric. Some thing that was taught at my Catholic College, Kings college, Wilkes- Barre Pa.
There is a book you might want to read , Faith and Doctrine by Fr. Gregory Baum. Catholic Theologian worked on Vatican ll reforms. .
He makes the case
that a Catholic does not have to accept every doctrine of the Church and still be Catholic.
It’s a cultural thing for me. In most African countries it’s not acceptable to wear bikinis 👙. It’s basically being in your underwear in public.
So when I moved to the USA I tried to exercise some well earned freedom.
Well, my ancestors turned in their grave. After that day, I got me tankinis to uphold the culture 😂
There are videos of African woman either topless or nude and you are saying that bikinis are not acceptable?
@@georgepierson4920 I’m talking of my society and my lived experiences. I am from Nigeria, it’s a very religious country and conservative. Good luck trying the topless thing there.
@@igbo_girl I can assure you madame that you will not see me topless.
I get the cultural thing. I had a friend who's now a priest from Micronesia (he studied a U.S. seminary) who shared with another friend of mine that in his island, when they had celebrations, the women would bear their breasts out. So that meant seeing his mom and grandmother's breasts as an adult 🤔😮🤨😳
I workout partly because I want a body that looks good in a bikini, but NO I wouldn't feel comfortable prancing around in public in a bikini, even if I could rock one like it was going out of style. I always wear a pair of shorts over my swimsuit to feel dressed appropriately.
As a young woman, I absolutely appreciate your thoughts on this and the work you do. Thank you for sharing!❤
Thank you for watching, sister!
This is soo true.I try to curb my desires but if a woman is wearing that Its like she is naked.I as a man wish women could be more modest.I also find modesty more attractive.
It's interesting in this country ( USA) nudity is such a issue ( puritan throwback) a lot of the scandinavian countries'.Even in European France, Germany, Even Italy home of vatican doesn't have such a hangup about it, and where nudity is contention of stigma. I have Norwegian (northern minnesota) relatives where We would visit on a week or weekend when I was kid everybody sauna naked from mom and dad to kids on down - also grandma and grandpa too. - if your discussing porn that's a whole nother issue.
So you would be in a sauna naked between 14-18 with your grandpa and your father? Or your Mom is naked in there with her father-in-law? I'll admit, it doesn't seem puritan just common sense not to do that. Also, the number of little kids that have been molested by family members... I think it's just protecting those kiddos from feeling comfortable in a situation where they probably shouldn't be comfortable. Just my take on it. I get that we should be comfortable, but in the day and age of porn, it's just not wise.
@@parkwalks8562 Its been done in the family for generations , and there's nothing sexual about it, It's how we grew up.
And your right it's not puritan. But wasn't they're claim to posterity burning witches? Quite a Legacy.
I think our family traditions are much more tame.
Puritanism is a heresy.
Because the puritans thought of every earthly pleasure as evil, even the body itself.
It is more a gnostic way of thinking, where the body is a prison for the soul and has to be overcome, not that the body and it's pleasures are a gift, but like all gifts have to be used ordered and responsibly, which is the catholic view.
On the topic, i don't mind if women wear bikinis, but i don't wear hem myself. I prefer bathing suits that are not too revealing. I just don't want my belly or my girls too much out for everyone to see. That is my husbands privilege😊
As I finished this video I felt like crying. It is a shame how we have spoiled and perverted God's blessings and gifts into our greedy and lustful versions of it.
3:14 not necessarily! When you go to the beach, you wear that outfit coz it suits the occasion. It may not be the right thing but it's wrong to assume the intention behind the outfit. When you see a man wearing an underwear to the beach you don't say "oh he wants attention" same with women. Not all wear it for affirmation, but rather simply coz it suits the occasion.
Why exactly does it "suit the occasion"? Because majority are wearing it?
@@holyromanemperor420 coz they are comfortable in it! Besides I've never seen a man dress modestly to a beach either. People go to the beach to relax, hence they wear whatever they want. If you're going for a wedding you'd wear what most men wear, a suit!
My main point here is not saying bikini is good to be worn. My whole point is " DON'T ASSUME THE INTENTION IS ALWAYS TO ATTRACT MEN" it's not always the case.
It makes me think about stories from Auschwitz. People who were "lucky" enough not to go straight to the gas chamber, were stripped naked and shaved so that "not a single hair was allowed to stay on your body". How do you maintain your dignity in such a situation? So yes, choose your clothes with awareness. But don't make your dignity depend on what you're wearing. Please, don't make such a connection in your mind.
I understand that it's not what the video is trying to say but I needed it to sound loud and clear that the dignity does not depend on clothes or anthing like this.
When I first encountered the opinion that bikinis are problematic, I just didn't want to accept it. But I knew immediately it was true. Getting rid of my 2 piece swimwear was a huge leap of faith aided by much grace - literally every suit I owned was a bikini at that time. In additional to societal pressures, I have a long torso and 99% of one pieces are just too short for me...and if I'm being honest, my self consciousness about my cellulite was offset by positive comments about my stomach. How could I afford to cover it up?
Fast forward a few years, the word that sums my current experience with swimwear (usually a cute one piece with little shorts) is FREEDOM. I can have fun at the beach or in a pool without giving a second thought to what others may or may not think about my body. It's been the best trade ever - ego for freedom.
May God bless all of you who are struggling with the decision to switch to one piece swimwear (or tankinis). As an aside - Jessica Rey is so great! She even has pear shaped, long torso suits. Such a gift.
So none of the responsibility is on women then? It’s only on men?
Sorry, I disagree. The body still needs to be respected even if they were naked. (disclaimer, I'm married, and not into porn. There's a lewd way to move the body, and a way that's beautiful. It's not about the amount you're wearing) There's nothing wrong with being affirmed for being beautiful. If the common person is wearing bikinis. Wear a bikini. If the common person wears one piece, wear a one piece. I agree that you should not always show the body; but not to the extent to make it an evil thing. Whenever it is seen, it is beautiful, and this video is causing women to feel aware and ashamed of their body. You make men to be like perverts. Most are protectors of women. I don't like that. Be beautiful!
It's not challenging to be on a beach with ladies in bikinis. You just respect people. Those who walk in the spirit, can not fulfil the lust of the flesh. It's not a problem.
I hate that your standard is so dignified, yet calling bikinis wrong, but one piece swimsuits good, and yet I know a sect of people who are way more covered at all times, even on the beach, and they'd call you a pervert for wearing a one piece. And I know people who wear bikinis that full circle would say wearing a long dress on the beach is immodest. With so many standards, you all judge one another. Stop judging about this. It's wrong! The Bible says to "not judge by outward appearance" . Just be of the same mind. If most people are wearing bikinis, wear one. If most people are covering, cover. Stop making it so dogmatic as if modesty = how much you cover. When it actually means how blended in you can become so that you don't stick out. Your separation from the world is your faith; not your clothes, or food or drink. People are way too religious about their clothes, and judge each other to be showing too much, while only wearing a little more than they do. Hypocrites; I hate it. Just compliment one another, and be beautiful! If a bikini is beautiful on you, wear it! Just don't be alone and go flirting with everyone and anyone. Be beautiful, but also be protected with family and friends. Just my 2 cents.
Agree with almost everything you wrote. Swimming is my favorite sport and I do go alone often. Not interested in flirting, I'm there to exercise and if it's sunny enjoy the sun.
It seems like grown women shoulf be able to use maturity and good judgement to select the swimsuit that makes them feel comfortable. The idea that every woman who wears a two piece is doing so because she fails to recognize het own dignity seems to painting with an awfully broad brush...it may simply be a preference and some one piece bathing suits can be very revealing.
100% agree
Yes, I completely agree. So often, this video included, bikinis are vilified without being defined. I think you can have a modest two piece swimsuit but you can also easily have an immodest one piece. It's not how many pieces or the amount of fabric that makes it modest or not. What matters is that what is intimate and sacred is covered fully so to preserve that quality.
I think this video did a better job than most covering this topic but that is my one critic. Thanks for covering this important topic.
@@veronicakitzhaber4435 I think we need to clarify further what "covered fully" means. My view is, the reproductive organs should not be perceptible as it is reserved for the sexual act. A thin layer, see through, or any clothing that conforms to the figure of the reproductive organs could then be considered unchaste.
@@dreistheman7797 I completely agree. If you say that the reproductive organs should be fully covered then that informs both men and women as a guideline for modesty. It's simple and clear while still giving plenty of room for personal style preferences.
Growing up I thought the only way to dress modestly was to wear a one-piece swimsuit like a professional swimmer would. Now I would not wear that style as it reveals too much of the lower region, the reproductive area which is the most sacred.
What's your take on men having our shirts off at the beach?
- a younger man who recently got fit and more comfortable with my body, but don't want to invite lust
Personally, I think it’s a bit different. But if you feel as though you’re being immodest, then wear a rash guard or swim shirt.
This is coming from a man so idk
@@scrapdog2113 it seems the need to be modest is left entirely in the world of women. No big surprise there.
@@geoffcaflisch1352 that’s not what I’m saying at all. I SPECIFICALLY ended my statement saying “I’m a man so idk” because I wouldn’t know what could invite lust for a woman. Please be charitable
@@scrapdog2113 nothing uncharitable but women are not as visual as a whole. I do struggle with what seems like an outdated concept leaving all clothing modifications the responsibility of women.
I mean, if we are for upholding modest social norms in general, I'm not going to complain if there's now covering rules for men. It's not just during the beach that us men are shirtless. I'm going to say it's not due to equality that this is fair, but due to charitability since hypocrisy would be opposing a double standard.
Men and women are not wired internally the same way. Men are much more visually oriented. Women wearing bikinis (or anything revealing) is like waving a bottle of whiskey in front of an alcoholic. I know, all the feminists will say the entire burden is on men. Just don't look. That is cruel.
That is a low bar you have set for all male kind. I think we are a bit better than an alcoholic looking at booze.
God made a good creation. We aren’t “wired” for sexualizing women and if you are currently in that mind set there are ways out of it like prayer, meditation, reading on the subject, learning to respect and appreciate women, spending time with Mary, etc
Yes, men are so much stronger than that. What we need to do IS judge the evil and see it for what it is. A beautiful woman doesn't want men to lust after her. That is not beauty. That is evil and it's ugly. Beauty elevates. Real beauty has to elevate, that is what beauty is. A women wearing almost nothing is a slave to lust and thinks she will get sexual power. Not all women are like that. Not all men are slaves to lust or pornography. We live in a hypersexualized world that teaches men that they are purely visual and are to be controlled by pornography. Where do you get this idea from that men are so visual that they can't control themselves? It's a lie. The devil certainly loves that lie because you're easy to control. You're made in God's image. If you're a Christian, you're no longer a slave to sin. Those women have no control over you. We have many strong men in the church and we need more. You're not an evolved animal, but a human made in God's image. I hate when the world speaks of men as weak impulsive animals. They are so much stronger, but if we tell our son's that they have no self control, then it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Too many men have lost how precious their masculinity really is.
@@LauraBoehringeractually I think a lot of women DO want men to lust after them. It’s sad but I think the majority want that. If it weren’t so, then we would not see the majority of fashion trending the way it is
100%
Thank you so much for this video. So important for men and women.
Thank you for watching! We're glad it was helpful.
This calls for so much that a single comment can't cover it
I think that you calling attention to this to your children & praying is too much.
Really, you should rethink that approach. And not go to the beach or public pools with your husband & kids.
I thought about this lately :) thx for the video!
How do you trust your husband when at the beach to not look lustfully at other women?
You ask him if he's looking lustfully at others. If he says he's not, believe him unless there's concrete proof that he's lying. If he confesses he does, then forgive him and ask him to not do it; ask him to look away from those people. If he refuses to look away, ask him to not go to the beach for a while and maybe spend some time telling to him about it and praying and maybe even talk to a priest or marriage counselor about it.
Is everyone on here a Traditional Catholic? Just asking?
Thank you so much for this beautiful video.
What has been said is very important and we need more conversations about this topic.
We as men, must purify our hearts and eyes. And women must recognize their dignity and have fraternity to the men.
Women, listen: Bikinis are a lie from the enemy. Good men will see you in all your dimensions as a human being and wearing a bikini can be a really red flag for some men, at least for me it is.
Protect yourselves from this evil lustful pornographic culture.
Amazing video!
Thanks for watching!
what is the best way to pray for a girl who shares bikini photos on instagram? who my heart breaks for? how do I approach her and talk to her without her perceiving me as judgemental... when really I am just trying to help her.
Pray for her
thank you for your understanding about our struggles as men. God bless you 🙏
Why are hot models in bikinis used on that front cover of magazines?
I think culture has sexualized skimpy bikinis.
Some bikini bottoms are basically a thong or a g-string.
Speedos are immodest for men.
God bless you! Thank you for the great content.
I have a Womans perspective.
First is, even as a young girl, and as the only sister with 4 brothers, I couldn't understand why my brothers got to wear shorts to go swimming, but I had to wear the equivalent of underwear. I never liked it. I'll just add now, I love that there are more concealing and fashionable Womans swimwear now! I love the swim shorts and the skirts. I wish I would have had those options in my youth and in my young adult hood.
Second, men designed these swimsuits. most fashion is designed and sold by men. so, I don't understand why woman are blamed for the designs of fashions for woman. There are no modest options for swimwear for men. Not until the last few years anyway. For us, this is just normal.
PS, there are a lot of woman who don't go swimming at all, or decline pool party invites because of the swimwear. it's like you have to accept what you have to wear if you want to hang out at the pool or beach.
I took wish we had access to swim shorts/skirts and tankinis when I was growing up. I love them now though on the rare occasions I go to a pool or the beach.
@@Seaglass4869 I've been going to a river a lot in the summer for stand up paddle board, and I always were my shorts thing with a skirt over my suit, I feel perfectly covered.
@@youtubeKathysounds like a great combo! Now there's no need to sacrifice comfort for fun 😊
My two cents here: habit doesn't make the monk. That said, fighting lust doesn't depend on other people's attitudes or garments. It's like blaming others for something that's purely personal. We're not amish. If you can't control your desires because of some girls in bikinis on the beach, the problem is yours, not theirs. Fighting a temptation is something that we have to do by ourselves. Don't judge others and don't blame others for your own issues. Work on them by praying, talking to your local priest about it, etc.
You're right. We're not Amish, we are catholic. And as catholic women, who do we look up to? The Blessed Virgin Mary! And would she wear a Bikini? Totally not. Besides that, I don't know if you are aware, but if you read any good catholic examination of conscience (which, if you're a practicing catholic you should definitely use to prepare yourself to go to confession) you will see that dressing immodestly is a MORTAL SIN. Why? Because you're a near occasion of sin to others. Simple.
Our Lady said, when she appeared in Fatima "Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much. Woe to women lacking in modesty!"
Wait a minute, I thought Jesus said that it's better to tie a milestone on your neck and drown rather than being a temptation to others...
I'm brazilian, and here that thong bikini is quite common. I remember when I first saw it, more than 35 years ago, how shocking it was. I was not even aware, it was just unusual. Then, some time ago, talking to some non religious male acquaintances, there was this consensus that the only difference between bikinis and lingeries is the fabric.
Could some of this be applied to tight clothing? What about yoga pants, leggings as pants, skinny jeans, ECT.?
Definitely
The takes get spicier: I personally don't find Jessica Rey's swimwear to be at all modest.
In my own experience, bikinis have absolutely nothing to do with lust. My own lustful habits are driven by things like stress, loneliness, frustration with my own life, and things like this, plus a lack of appropriate strategies to cope with these. Those are all on me. Bikinis have as much to do with lust inherently as banks do with robbery.
And this video presumes to read a person's state of mind and their relevant life circumstances based on what they are wearing. I'm not going to make any subjective evaluative comments about that, but I will point out the simple self-evident fact that it does this.
Yea it seems like this video restated the same old talking points and doesn’t get to heart of the matter.
We should talk to our daughters and loved ones about what is appropriate to wear. That being said bikinis are fine for those who want to wear them.
There's the concept of being "inherently sexual". In the sexual act, a man and a woman needs to have their reproductive organs bare to perform the physical and covenantal union within the marriage. The closer it is to being nude, where reproductive organs can be made out, the closer it is to being inherently sexual.
@@dreistheman7797 There is the concept of "inherently sexual." There is also the concept of "not inherently sexual." You do need to have your organs exposed in order to have sex. But the converse, that you need to be about to have sex in order to have your organs exposed, is not true. If it were, I shouldn't be able to take a shower without pleasing myself, and you shouldn't be able to go to the doctor for a physical exam without having a sexual experience. But that is obviously not the case. So you may find nudity inherently sexual, while others don't. If you do, nobody belongs telling you that you should go ahead and expose yourself when you don't want to. But you also don't belong telling other people how to manage their own state of dress because of your own inability (or perhaps unwillingness) to separate one from the other.
Also, for at least some people, it is precisely the concept of "inherently sexual" that leads to and feeds lust. If you walk around on the beach, for instance, and you perceive every bikini on the beach as a sex act about to happen and involve you, you're going to get aroused, and it's going to be on your brain. If you go around seeing everyone on the beach as simply dressed the way you dress when you go swimming, it's not going to have the same effect. If you tell a person who finds this "not inherently sexual" that it is inherently, and they adopt your view, you will have led them towards lust and sexually acting out, and not away from it, by putting sex on their brain when it wasn't before. And that, together with the judgmentalism and presuming to read other people's minds, is my issue with this video.
@@dreistheman7797 that’s insane. So breast feeding is sexual? Nudity isn’t inherently sexual.
Pet peeve of mine: immodesty=/=scandal
Immodesty is not just evil because it turns a women into a voluptuous temptress. Although it certainly does and if a women dresses immodestly for the sake of tempting men she commits scandal. But immodesty is fundamentally sinful because it increases pride. It says no, I can draw attention to myself look at me! Why Saint Paul you hurt my feelings when you insinuate that my bikini is vain!
There are PLENTY of modest swimsuit designs! I’ve found some that are like shorts and a tank top with a bikini bra underneath and it’s comfortable and cute! Our bodies are for our spouses, and NO-ONE ELSE.
Just saw this. I am a grandma way up there!
Back in the day we did not wear bikinis. But we looked terrific. In our amazing, sleek and good looking swimsuits that made us look gorgeous.
People don’t realize they don’t need to have all of their body parts
showing.
It gets a little boring after a while. But as you said, it’s about dignity.
I never thought it was about dignity. I just wanted to look cute in a cute, bathing suit. And frankly they should too.
Today the problem is a culture we have a sexualized.
Everybody is supposed to be a pinup girl and a play girl! How pathetic that is right?
People need to be teaching their children like that one lady on the comments when they’re young and explain the whole thing.
….it’s very hard I know.
But it is what it is. Do we follow God or do we follow people?
Back in the day we had the song itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka Dot Bikini. But we didn’t. I’ll run to get one ha ha.
Today I went to a beach in France (Catholic country) and the 3 women next to me were not wearing bikinis.....they were topless! God bless feminism!!!!😀
2:15-2:18 Funnily enough I brought this up to my stepmom and her response made me laugh:
"Well they are not the same, it's different in context."
But how? Why do women feel ashamed to go in their skimpy underwear but when it's the beach they don't mind. It really has been mind boggling.
I'm 54. My father's generation was so different because before, sat, 1960, people wore appropriate clothes for ever occasion. The wash and wear thing also plays a role. The liberalism of choice makes things harder.
Amazing Video! LIKE LIKE LIKE ❤️❤️🙏 so true
Here's the thing, which you did touch on. Not all bikinis are the same. My thinking here is two fold, though I agree people should clothe themselves appropriately. First off, in the privacy of your home pool, bikinis are fine, and are great for getting a tan, and people should have the choice to have one. Second, you can pick one that covers your bottom and bosom well. For actual swimming I dislike them as they tend to not stay put well, especially if they are too skimpy. Third, while I believe women need to be responsible for their own dignity, men also need to be responsible for their own thoughts. No amount of clothing will change impure thoughts, just as no one can control the way another chooses to dress. We are ultimately only responsible for ourselves and its unfair to place responsibility on another when they don't have any means of control of another besides themselves. In short, my husband likes my bikini, so I wear it at home in our pool. When I'm in a public setting I have a one piece. Fourth point I will make is that regardless what suit you choose they are all form fitting due to the nature of the material used, which is chosen not because it is clingy or revealing, but because it doesn't absorb water in large amounts and dries quickly, which have two obvious applications: not having a heavy garment that can cause drowning and the obvious bane of women in particular die to our God given anatomy, yeast infection caused by prolonged contact to moisture ridden garments in that area. Sometimes we have to make comprises in our choices of dress. I believe it can be done appropriately to a given situation while still remaining practical. Swim in your one piece and after you dry a bit, throw on a wrap. Best of both worlds, especially since we have access to different things now than were available in the old days. We will all be faced with challenges in our lives, but I believe our minds are the most important thing to keep in the right place, not just what we have to wear. I really never gave much thought to other bathers attire, unless it was grossly inappropriate, but it tends to be more of a personal disgust, since I don't particularly want to see other people's bottoms and such. If you're covered, I have no problem. Once upon a time, Adam and Eve were naked, and because of their innocence there was no sin. God said it was good. We know better now, also because of them, but we can still start with our minds. It must have been an important detail, or it would not have been in the story. I believe the significance is more than simply them gaining knowledge, but why God thought they didn't need that knowledge, because their innocent pure thoughts were higher than what was in front of them.
I totally agree with your position of not wanting to see other people's butts. For me this also applies to the current trend of wearing leggings as pants 🤢. People might want to show off their behinds but not everyone wants to see them.
If we fall into sin so easily why is this concept not applied to wealth? We live so lavishly where we are discussing wardrobe but it’s okay to be wealthy despite the clear temptation and harm associated with it
Surprised that there was no mention that apparently a prostitute had to be paid to model the first bikini, because no women desired to be seen in one. Maybe that is not a true story, but i have read and heard that in a few places. My second thought, as a married man, is i wonder what your thoughts as an institute would be on lingerie as a marital aid for a couple? Is it legit, sinful, etc? It would seem to be a great follow up to this video.
If ever women could just wear the big shoulder to knee covering swimsuits that team uSA wears for their races then we’d be modest enough.
Me and my girl are fit, She is a really really good swimmer, We joke about bikinis. they are not attractive at all :D
Can women swim without having to wear bikinis? Definitely yes. Bikini is not a requirement.
Gluttony is a sin. Don't try to say being thin isn't something that's entirely possible to attain.
What are you talking about?
@@pablovelasquez6917 Please watch the whole video before you comment. She specifically asked for that.
@@bloodwrage O oke, yep I saw the full video but I dont remember that specific question, that is why I was asking haha
@@pablovelasquez6917 No problem! Good that you understand now. Have a blessed day, friend.
Stop saying “in my opinion” because its not its a fact
This was beautiful, thank you
🦋🫶🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for watching!
I come from Brazil. In my culture is okay to wear a bikini. In the same way, it is okay for men to wear speedos, not shorts when going to the beach.
There is a huge cultural difference about this.
And your body is not to be ashamed of. I agree that the way you wear clothes matters, wearing bikinis and speedos is less a problem than showing shoulders or ankles.😊
I think it is a cultural difference. I imagine Brazil is very hot.
Yes, and this is a reason for, in some places like Rio de Janeiro or Bahia, wearing less than anyone would wear in the north of US is not offensive.
Of course, it depends on the context. Nobody would go with bikinis to a wedding.
Yes maybe so but don’t bring it here please-we don’t like it!
Keep that in Brazil
As a European convert catholic girl It took me a bit to understand this and really understanding some parts of my body should only be for me and my husband to see ❤❤❤ i really understand this as a way of loving and respecting myself and loving my husband and as a sing of "you are the only one allowed to see me as a whole, aprecciate It ;)". Understanding this particular aspect of modesty has made me feel really empowered as a women Who knows her valué and dignity❤
I do want to point out one thing. Not everyone has a spouse who affirms their beauty. Some will, sure. Some will think their spouse is beautiful through the years, but others do not feel that way, and may provide RAW HONESTY instead of providing comfort. I suggest modesty to anyone, but we should not assume that if a woman or man is modest, this will result in any comfort in their physical appearance from their spouse. They may get honesty instead. Do not do your modesty for that reason.
Really appreciated this and how you shared your thoughts on the subject, thank you!
I look like a whale in bikini so no seduction there 😂
Do you see it as controlling to not be okay with yourself and your partner going to the beach or activities where people probably won’t dress properly? My fiancée has become much more pure than he used to be but it just makes me so uncomfortable. We have different views on custody of the eyes and protecting our faculties, and I just can’t get through it. I avoid these things and want him to want to do the same… I believe we should still never presume to be so chased, and agree with St. Phillip Neri, but he thinks that “once you’ve seen one woman, you’ve seen them all,” and that it’s only an issue if he’s tempted in the moment, and doesn’t expect to be. It’s a painful issue. Please send a prayer our way and share your beautiful insights. Thanks for this.
Thank you for your honest and vulnerable comment! Count on our prayers for you and your fiancé. For more personal advice feel free to reach out to Elizabeth directly on Instagram @discerningmarriage. She loves getting questions from viewers.
It’s so great to hear some solid commentary on this topic. Not discussed enough!
We're glad it was helpful!
No
I don't like bikinis because I like to swim and move around and they keep getting untied so I prefer a two-piece sports costume. I kind of would like to find a women's costume that has shorts on the bottom part, as men have, but I could never find that in Italy. The costumes you suggested in the video are more "modest" than bikinis, but they still look like underwear, even if they are one-piece costumes (and that website is so expensive!).
Calypsa has nice swim suits with shorts or skirts and youncan pick the level of modesty you are comfortable with.
@@dacoolfruit "pick the level of modesty you are comfortable with", how about the level of modesty we think God would approve of?
@@Battlefield1918 I am replying to a specific comment. I am not making a general statement on how we choose what to wear.
@@dacoolfruit Language is important, it's better if you state in the way I did in my first reply instead of leaving it up to personal judgment void of what we think God would approve of along with personal convictions
I don’t think that the underwear argument works when your alternative is a one-piece. I wouldn’t wear a one-piece under normal circumstances either.
not to mention it makes people struggling with scruples be more legalistic. i don’t think bikinis in themselves are bad, there are some that are immodest but there are also takinis. we shouldn’t demonize a particular clothing that’s just going to make people anxious especially those who immediately go to no leggings or pants discourse, modesty is not a one size fit all we need to know our own personal sensibilities and take into consideration our culture. the issue isn’t bikinis it’s the fact that people have lustful thoughts and aren’t able to appreciate beauty as it presents itself. we are so afraid of engaging with those we deem immodest that we turn our eyes away rather than see the human dignity of that person.
I’m a Christian and I wear a bikini. Believe it or not, it’s never caused any problems for myself or others. Bikinis are the best because they don’t get full of sand like other swim suits.
Maybe you have caused a problem for others and you just don’t know
Esther Rouimi makes beautiful sundresses very modest, she's from Florida, and I believe is jewish so it follows jewish modesty..... I bought one myself last year and I love it! I feel so comfortable in it!!! I do own a retro one piece but I still find one pieces to be a bit revealing. With this swim dress I dont care who im out with I feel great!
God bless you all and thank you for this channel, I got reminded by this: But you have neglected the more important matters of the law-justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. If you are a person who practices all the teaching os Christ and are trying to fulfill all rightiousness than its good you worry about the bikini, but the most important is mercy, justice, faithfulness, (Holiness) and then worry about the bikini.
Thank you for sharing these comments with minimal graphic images. Our memories are harmful enough. And it has to be difficult for any woman to put something like this together for anybody in the world to see and hear, so God bless you for doing it.
I think there is a fundamental injustice for anyone to wear, encourage or leer at women wearing minimal dress, whether at the beach or anywhere else that random people might be. If a woman has physiognomy that the culture finds "sexy" or "hot," then wearing skimpy clothing disrespects the men (and women) who have a tendency toward lust. Also disrespectful of women whose bodies are out of the cultural "mainstream," either smaller or larger or disproportionate.
And similar words could be written about young men who wear thongish attire.
OK BABY FUNDI!!!