How to Quit Complaining

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  • Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
  • Joshua & Ryan discuss how to avoid playing the victim role and how to find wisdom in a troubled past. Watch “Maximal” episodes of The Minimalists Private Podcast exclusively at / theminimalists
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    Watch an extended version of this episode: • Ep. 141 | Parents
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Комментарии • 53

  • @livelearnandteach7402
    @livelearnandteach7402 4 года назад +86

    I hate victim mentality and complaining......I've done both......a lot. I see it in myself and that's why I hate it. I am working hard to change it.

    • @jjgems5909
      @jjgems5909 Год назад +1

      Same 😢

    • @332ndcompany5
      @332ndcompany5 Год назад

      Another video shows how it shrinks the hippocampus of the brain, region responsible for problem solving.

  • @JJ-nn9de
    @JJ-nn9de 5 лет назад +53

    My history with complaining is so weird. I will go out of my way to not bother or complain pretty much anybody in my day to day life. However, I find that I unleash all pent up frustration on my spouse. The complaining all goes to him, and that is so unfair. I've been working on not raising my voice, its such an ugly habit. Definitely going to give the rubber band thing a go.

  • @threedeeprince
    @threedeeprince 5 лет назад +33

    I just think about how much I hate listening to people complaining and I just try not to be that guy for other people....

  • @juangarza6697
    @juangarza6697 5 лет назад +11

    That's true, how most of our lives we keep complaining about how bad our story is, how much we suffer... but is just the past.
    Now we are the only ones that can take the choice of still being the victim or take our life in our hands and do something.
    Thank you for sharing guys, i really enjoyed this topic.

  • @ahoardersheart
    @ahoardersheart 5 лет назад +16

    When I was a victim in my past...I’m learning that triggered my hoarding habits subconsciously. Now that I am healing from those past traumas, I can feel myself being able to let go of stuff easier. I want to be able to help other people heal as well ❤️

  • @ocaminhodoingles
    @ocaminhodoingles 3 года назад +7

    I think exactly like that, there's no purpose in being a victim for your whole life, everybody has their difficulties but sometimes we are a kind of narcissists thinking that only us suffer. cheers from Brazil guys, it's beautiful what you guys are doing out there, whenever I can I'm showing your work to my friends here in Brazil and everywhere.

  • @Saharious30
    @Saharious30 5 лет назад +42

    It would be great if you made a whole podcast about complaining. I would like to listen more about this topic.

    • @armanienzo7740
      @armanienzo7740 3 года назад +1

      sorry to be off topic but does anyone know a trick to get back into an instagram account??
      I somehow forgot the login password. I love any help you can give me!

  • @redrockable
    @redrockable 5 лет назад +7

    Great share guys. I especially love the comment about family members that keep using the excuses for their shitty life. It saddens me to see my family stay stuck in those years of long ago. I always ask my family, "when was that?" I don't think they understand what I am getting at because if I say it like it is they will get upset with me and not talk for days, months or years, so it's easier to change the subject.

  • @mz6367
    @mz6367 2 года назад +3

    I complain all the time and this is sickness I hope I can be able to overcome it

  • @williambhoe
    @williambhoe 3 года назад +4

    The thing about The Minimalists is that when they see a problem, they DO something about it. They don't just leave it.

  • @themanman165
    @themanman165 Год назад +1

    My complaining is tearing my relationship apart with my girlfriend and I! I’m trying to learn how to stop complaining about every little thing because when I do so it makes us argue and we just broke up over it. We’re trying to work on things now, so I have to be a better man so here I am trying to learn.

  • @MarS-fb8tn
    @MarS-fb8tn 7 месяцев назад

    It's better to do something about the situation that hurts because complaining doesn't change anything. But sometimes ppl complain because they're not ready to take action. Sometimes the first thing one can do is accept the situation because acceptance gives you power and stop your Mind freaking out about it. Then look closely, or ask for help, or change something or make a plan and apply it. Don't be a victim because you're capable of much more. Believe in yourself.

  • @nomadismileseeker6611
    @nomadismileseeker6611 Год назад +1

    As someone who has been accused of this, let me assure you. I make valid points, admit when I am venting and use these “complaints” to warn people not to do things that will make me responsible for fixing their mistakes. I have never used it as a crutch, I call it audible critical thinking.

  • @naomiking2442
    @naomiking2442 5 лет назад +8

    Wow, I just love this! Thanks for sharing. Your story about visiting your mom in prison was incredibly compelling. That image of balloons and prison glass and telephones felt very raw. Life can definitely throw difficult circumstances, but opportunities abound in these situations for exponential personal growth if we are willing to embrace it. (Even if all we learn is to forgive!). I know your mom must have loved you very much.

  • @19katsandcounting
    @19katsandcounting 5 лет назад +7

    I tend to feel patronized when people give me unsolicited sympathy, and I get the feeling they are being intentional. It’s quite sinister in my eyes.

  • @katecollins3894
    @katecollins3894 5 лет назад +2

    I am really loving these little snippet segments. Thank you for sharing.

  • @bloodyfingers8633
    @bloodyfingers8633 2 года назад +1

    The problem is often the way complaints are interpreted by others. Someone like myself is often times more cynical than others because i have had alot of undesired outcomes in life and the only way I cope with it is by being cynically sarcastic and this is sometimes interpreted by others as being complacent. It seems to me being realistic the only way to not complain at all would be to seperate myself from everyone and all unpredictable undesired outcomes.

  • @cayesh1234
    @cayesh1234 5 лет назад +2

    This concept is so basic, yet so effective. And when you try this challenge, oh boy, you will discover just how much you actually complain!

  • @carinal8738
    @carinal8738 5 лет назад +6

    Do you mean that you don't remember your dreams? I read a book about dreams. I read that you dream every night, but sometimes we don't remember them when we wake up. It's so interesting. I want to analyze my dreams because you can learn a lot about your dreams ❤

    • @queeniebaggins3732
      @queeniebaggins3732 5 лет назад +1

      Carina L I have some weird-ass dreams 😜☹️

    • @MiaDjojowasitoMalik
      @MiaDjojowasitoMalik 5 лет назад

      Carina L maybe it depends on which stage of sleep you’re in? If it’s the stage of sleep right before you wake-up naturally, you’ll remember it. Maybe people who don’t dream every night just don’t have much to worry about because they know how to declutter their brains.
      I almost always remember mine (and I write them down when I remember, just so I can stop thinking about it and move on from it-sometimes my notes are amusing later when what I saw in the dream happens for real in real life).
      I even remember my last past-life, I think (I lived in the ‘60s and I wasn’t a very nice person then). 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @ruthcohen8275
    @ruthcohen8275 5 лет назад +4

    Interesting topic, smart and great conversation... I just love you guys!

  • @she.is.leticia
    @she.is.leticia 5 лет назад +1

    I’ve been watching/listening to your videos and it’s been really powerful the way that they make me think more about things in general and I’m loving it

  • @shelleycharlesworth5177
    @shelleycharlesworth5177 2 месяца назад

    Complaining perpetuates negativity!
    The more time you spend complaining, the less time you have for fixing, creating, and living !!!

  • @faithfielder9493
    @faithfielder9493 2 месяца назад

    This episode really hot home! I never thought of things this way. You may have changed my life! 😂

  • @JustKenExisting
    @JustKenExisting Год назад +2

    I ran off everyone by complaining until the point where you complain to yourself. Eventually you tell yourself to STFU

  • @sheila_rabant
    @sheila_rabant 2 года назад

    Those 2016 CAVS were awesome!

  • @TR123
    @TR123 3 года назад +1

    But surely it's not healthy to ignore your feelings? If I feel irritated by something, what else can I do but talk about it?

  • @TASconfidential
    @TASconfidential Год назад

    I never complain to other people (I know they truly don’t care).
    I will complain to myself for 1day tops. The next day, I’m working on taking action to fix the issue.

  • @laurakubata3157
    @laurakubata3157 5 лет назад +1

    My favorite so far guys! you are awesome!

  • @Kallel_prime
    @Kallel_prime Год назад +1

    Agree

  • @ANDRE-sp2mi
    @ANDRE-sp2mi Год назад

    I am greatful for my freedom and I am greatful my chains are gone

  • @leilarhymeswithsheila1344
    @leilarhymeswithsheila1344 5 лет назад

    Whichever way you cut it, you’ve both done and are doing great.

  • @SimplyBeautiful516
    @SimplyBeautiful516 4 года назад +1

    Ok. Y’all are in my head now and hearing me complain. 🤭

  • @carolannstevens5814
    @carolannstevens5814 Год назад

    You two are overcomers! I am as well! Great decisions no drama…

  • @sheikhadnan4074
    @sheikhadnan4074 3 месяца назад

    Super helpful video

  • @nickvantastiq1848
    @nickvantastiq1848 2 года назад

    I'm also a lot of time in victim role, bc i have chroni things going on....yeah but is this someone else problem? no...can i do anything about it? no...i cant!!! i have to deal with it the best i can! my partner is so fed up with me moaning and complaining about how i feel everyday...im also DONE with it!!! I need to change it, right now!

  • @jackie6903
    @jackie6903 3 года назад

    You are both victors and great examples!

  • @billhannaford4488
    @billhannaford4488 5 лет назад +1

    "hey what are you gonna wear today?" um I'm gonna wear my black shirt."

  • @ANDRE-sp2mi
    @ANDRE-sp2mi Год назад

    🙏🙏🙏I love this saying

  • @chelseatayona4077
    @chelseatayona4077 5 лет назад +6

    They look like floating heads and hands.. But am not complaining

  • @iamgodphotography
    @iamgodphotography 26 дней назад

    Everything that I complain about is legit and irks the mess out of me, specially, ghetto neighborhoods and rude people and screaming kids and thieves. Anyway, I wish I didn’t give them my attention to even complain because it makes me even more depressed than I already am I complain because I am very depressed, and therefore, I complain out of pain

  • @vinokubar4431
    @vinokubar4431 2 года назад

    Im losing control replying comments in yt, i kept complaining , then i searched forward how do i stop complaining

  • @simplyredislandgirl
    @simplyredislandgirl 4 года назад

    Well said!👍 Good job u guys!👏💪🙋

  • @iarroyo612
    @iarroyo612 3 года назад

    My mom stays in the victim role and it is exhausting.

  • @Theresa-jq3dw
    @Theresa-jq3dw 5 лет назад +1

    YES🙌 you can’t be powerful and pathetic.

  • @kellyknight551
    @kellyknight551 5 лет назад

    Crazy you guys are from Dayton i live 30 mins from Dayton and like 30 mins from Warren county Monroe where your mother was

  • @cnunex1766
    @cnunex1766 5 лет назад

    If I could give you more "likes". I would. For now... I'll share

  • @ANDRE-sp2mi
    @ANDRE-sp2mi Год назад

    I am greatful to wake up 👆 for another day never promised. I am greatful for my freedom and I will honor my freedom. I am greatful to get back to work and to work hard for my family. I am greatful for the cross and honor and respect the money I make. Thank God for another day never promised. I am greatful to help people who want the help as well. Have a blessed day around the world and the church family. Thank God for the cross.

  • @queeniebaggins3732
    @queeniebaggins3732 5 лет назад

    Lol my mother had also been in prison 😐 I chose not to visit...and am glad I didn't.