My Husband Doesn’t Understand My Needs
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- My Husband Doesn’t Understand My Needs
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John, again stop with the making fun of people at the beginning. Find a way to be yourself without humliating your clients even a little bit. You are above it man
Understanding attachment styles is good to know where your patterns and tendencies come from. It's helped me understand myself and my husband better. But Dr. Delony is right about not sitting in that as an identity. Really, the idea is once you realize where you kind of fit, then you start doing the work to change that.
Relationships like this cost one more than the other. Someone gives too much and the other partner doesn’t invest enough.
Dr John did a good job of saying don’t just focus on the problems, but start working on the solution.
He gave good suggestions on how to find and implement the solutions.
"What do you need? What can I do to love you better today?" Magic
Dr. John.......thank you, thank you, thank you. Over the time that I have been honored to listen to your show you have created a new path for my life. A path of abundance, a path of joy, a path of relaxation and many more adverbs. Your approach to the human experience has given me new faith in humanity and myself. Thank you for the gifts you have been willing to share with all of us.
Why are people overthinking marriage just live your life. Do your duties life is not a fairytale. People think that marriage is a fairytale dream. It’s not it’s more like a business we both have our household duties do them and survive with each other. Your spouse is not your puppy.
Put God the centre of your life and live with gratitude, everything is given, but we don't see it! Well-said 👏 👍👊🙏
Amen
You can also just get a roommate.
You can also do these things without being married.
if you think marriage is just a business and you have a role in the business you will not have a fulfilling marriage
Attachment styles are good to know about, but is not a blanket to explain all behavioral patterns. The problem with alot of this commodification of psychology is that it overlooks complexity and grossly simplifies things that should be diagnosed by a practicing psychologist/therapist. Bonus: Diagnosing someone else’s personality is a recipe for disaster.
A lot of excellent wisdom from John here. Don’t focus do much on labels as they can really get in the way.
The good news is that our brains and nervous systems can heal and be re-wired, but it takes a LOT of humility and patience with yourself and each other.
You both need to heal your attachment styles. He was too hard on attachment style humans. There is TONS of evidence in attachment theory and I encourage this woman to find Personal Development School on RUclips here. Watch everything you can, it’s years of content for free. It’s saved my butt over and over and over again. I was AP and FA and my ex was DA. You can heal from this if you start to learn what caused this and that it’s half you. Attachment theory isn’t EVERYTHING but it’s so much. I felt it was more helpful than the 20 years of intermittent therapy.
Just don’t think it’s ALL you are. We are also not only 1 attachment style only. We all have aspects of other styles and also even if you fix one side in attachment styles you need to both want to.
At the end of the day your way of loving and his are just different and you learned diff coping mechanisms to survive and feel safe.
For AP you just have to learn and embody that you are not worthless and don’t have to earn love and are inherently lovable, much love! Find that channel. It’s so incredible, she’s a psychologist.
Thank you, this really helps ❤
LARP = Live Action Role Playing.
I wouldn’t put MBTI, the enneagram and attachment theory in the same category at all. To the best of my knowledge, Meyers Briggs is pseudoscientific, as is the enneagram.
Myers Briggs testing was meant as a general theory. It was never meant to be applied unilaterally. And absolutely. The idea was to help better understand personality. People take it and go way to far with it beyond it's intended purpose.
I live in Lexington KY! wild!
Not that wild.
It's not attachment styles. He's cheating and is being absent. And she senses that but cannot put a finger on it. She should snoop around and find out.
This is totally what I'm in now!
She “chases” by undoubtedly nagging and criticizing while he “runs” to avoid the negativity and saying something regretful.
Right, this is why women should go out with their friends, go to the gym, go out to dance, go out and have a life separate from their relationship.
@@florencia2771 That is true, Have fun by yourself, dance no one watching, go where you find nature, I used to nagging but I change this way and enjoy life a lot! Everything is given, we just don't see it! Good luck for them!!!🙏👊👍
100%. She also probably hasn't even considered what her husband would like.
@Florencia sure they should totally do that and be single sounds like something single people do alone all the time. Relationships don't work like that granted you do need your own space but all the time creates a distance in your relationship that it isn't resolved the marriage becomes empty and people often cheat
@@florencia2771 Not sure gym is a good idea, where she may meet new Tyrone with a six packs.
I have no shame in my attachment style-nesss 😅😅
Thank you! Attachment theory is like a religion for so many these days.
My “attachment style” changes drastically with every different man I’ve dated.
LARPing means Live Action Role Playing.
role*
@@benjaminwillcox7096 fixed, thank you
This marriage is over man. if this is the case two years after marriage, imagine it after 15 years, or 30 years.
This is why most marriages end. You make a commitment and you stick with it or you’re weak (unless there’s abuse or ongoing infidelity). She’s clearly going through something and they need counselling and she needs seperate counselling, the couples counselling will help them go over he can deal with it and help her.
Marriages require work.. but what this topic is about I doubt it will end in divorce if the both work on it . Me a ND my wife come from broken childhoods.. but we learn our triggers and we work on it together
Funny you would say that having zero idea who the caller or her husband is. Unless you do know them?
This is why men need to be so careful with women that project something as passion or love that is actually a false pretense of their need for stability. If your girlfriend is over thinking this stuff best of luck! 😂
She's a 💩 stirrer for sure.
The real questionis, "are you safe?"
“You don’t like who you’ve become!”
She sounded very “tired”.
You’re asking for basic things from the wrong person. Let it go.
Attachment style people really irk me
Y
whoa WHOA HOLD UP.
You appreciate Brand New too!?
LARP: Live Action Role Playing
I fawn like a mofo.
Am disappointed for the first time because Dr Delony has minimised the role of attachment styles. Sure it's not the only thing that defines the totality of an individual. But if someone has an avoidant attachment style they are unlikely to feel safe in a relationship AND be able to meet the emotional needs of their partner over the long term. I can see communication techniques working for individuals
a) with low levels of avoidant behaviours.
b) who are actively getting self/professional help for their avoidance.
@@SarahConnor562 No you do you and chalk it up to personality. For me, knowing about attachment styles is not the same as being a "psychological expert". I have used it to understand myself, my triggers and whether my effort to resolve conflict is likely to improve the situation or not.
@@SarahConnor562 I totally agree! It's getting ridiculous putting people's personally in boxes... & Styles ect...
No.
I couldn't really watch the full episode on this one. I think attachment theory is legit and I was pissed he disregarded it so much. Some therapists actually implement this into their practice, it's not a "drop in the bnucket" as john puts it like the ennegram is.
The only reason he doesn’t care for those thing is because the people he works with are always saying since I’m a enneagram 8 now I fight, scream, and yell and that’s just who I am. Like John says they are great reflection tools but they aren’t excuses for people’s behavior which is extremely fair.
@Flash the corgi ennegram I agree with but attachment theory can be a great tool. I've used it with my therapist & it's been very insightful.
@@beautepley8352 right, and that’s what he said. It’s a great reflection tool it’s just not who you are. 2:34
@Flash the corgi I still think he puts it in the same category as the personality tests when he explains why he doesn't like it and I disagree with that. I think it's a way more insightful tool.
@@beautepley8352 He just is saying it’s not an excuse for your behavior it’s a context which is correct. John said himself they do have some validity and they can be good for reflection tools so he doesn’t not like it.
Dr John sounds very "therapy" at times, possibly the point of the show.
Or…and hear me out…you could be a grown up that lives in the real world and learn some real communication skills instead of using Internet personality quizzes to direct your life. That stuff is glorified astrology.
god help this man
Dr. John looks like he models Baby GAP. 😂
Typical bored woman driving everyone around them crazy and stirring up drama. I wonder if this behavior was present when they dated. My guess nope.
The same could be said about the man. He's become lazy. He's taken her for granted post dating phase etc. She feels unvalued and even disrespected as a result.
Conflict is unavoidable where humans exist together. Generalizing, projecting and blaming the man/woman does nothing to resolve issues.
@@sairaphilip437 He's gotta be a jester a entertainer be new exciting, rich , fit, popular blah blah what does she have to do? Just be pleasant and don't nag can't even do that. This is why marriage is finished in this culture. Everyone thinks they are entitled to what they want when they want or else especially females nowadays. Mix in social media and it's garbage and it's negative influence men have to walk on eggshells if they marry.
@Saira Philip this DELUSION is why half of women over 30 are alone and 45% of menopausal women are on prescription drugs
@@nly4607 Oh dear, damned if a woman stays in a relationship (she becomes "entitled") and damned if she leaves when a relationship doesn't suit her....🤯.
@@djpuplex not a good idea to "settle" for the wrong women. No reason for you to walk on eggshells later.
What's the point in marriage? Women don't take it seriously anymore.
I'm a woman. I take marriage very seriously.
@@danilaroche1156 What he means is women now get a divorce when they are treated terribly by a man and he doesn`t like that.
Nah men don’t.
I swear he is one of the worst therapist’s ugh… who cares what you like???? He always overtalks and puts himself into each scenario
I don’t think he’s the worst but I think he makes lots of assumptions about people within the first few seconds of speaking to them. He Deff sees things through his lens’s
@@gessrinky9129 he’s one of the worst in my opinion
then why you watching 😂
It's not a session, it's a guess a solution talk show
You think he’s a bad therapist cause he doesn’t say what you want to hear and be validated. I’m guessing that’s common in your life.