Craig, I just want to tell you that I was a total mess when my boyfriend and I broke up 2 years ago. I got him back because I watched all your videos every single day for hours. I was so sad. We have been together 1 year now and we have a different relationship. Better but of course still with challenges. You and your team really helped me and I did everything you said after some desperate attempts because I could not control myself. It didn't work until I told myself that I could contact him once every 3 months and only with something positive. He started dating a new woman who wanted to marry him. He broke up with her and I called 2 months after. We met and we just knew that we wanted to be together. It was amazing. So to everyone: It really is possible for most of you if there has been love. Slow down, trust the process, believe in it and exercise, look great and get a new hobby! I started hiking. And watch Craigs videos every day if you need a friend.
I can't help but think of a rubber band analogy. Maybe most relationships work when the rubber band is in flux, a dormant state ( happy & content). The minute it's stretched means that at least one is pulling in the opposite direction, if both are pulling away far enough it can break just like a relationship. Over time if people have taken each other for granted, the rubber band loses its elasticity and when stretched it doesn't return to its normal state, it assumes a new, wider normal ( disengagement, lack of communication and connection, we've all seen those couples ), before the rubber perishes along with the relationship. I guess the moral is to keep the elasticity in your relationship. That way when it's stretched for whatever reason, ( life's trials, ups and downs ), the rubber band ( people ) always comes back.
Our was overall great. Through almost 4 years he plummeted from anxious to avoidant. Found ourselves trapped on a friend zone last year. I decided to start NC a few weeks ago. The other part needs to feel the grief and loss. In the meantime, I’m focusing on myself, shutting off social media and mutual friends interferences. It takes time and effort working on self growth. Loving me comes first ❤. Your videos are true jewels. I have no words in expressing my gratitude to you guys!
Great question at the end of this video.. Yes, here I am using the comments section as a continuation of the workbooks lol.. was my experience with my ex enough for me to reconsider another go with her?... I would say that at that point in time that we had met, yes I was going through quite a bit, my anxiety drove me to attempt to force the connection to grow before she was ready.. I ignored many red flags, I even lowered my standards in some ways.. she was becoming more attractive to me in every way no matter how she was behaving.. I realized this is just anxiety driven effects I was experiencing.. does anger surface for me sometimes? Yes.. do I care about her? Yes, very much so............ I believe if she ever attempted to reconnect.. I would probably be polite and give her a chance.. I doubt I will put up with her behaviors, her appearance probably won't be attractive to me.. I will try to be polite and let her down easily.. at that point it might be difficult for her and I can understand that, but I have grown immensely.. I have actually turned down many opportunities with many women that are probably more along their journey of growth than she is.. so I doubt I would want anything more than friendship with her.. Yes as a man I am actually friendzoning women left and right.. not in a manipulative way but in the way that I am supportive for them as a friend.. I don't try to use them like objects.. we each help each other as we reflect and share.. do some women try to manipulate me into things.. of course they do.. sometimes they succeed at some levels lol... I live and I learn, it's all a blessing. thank you again.
I agree with this comment. I’ve done the workbooks plus additional readings and therapy for many years. I’ve actually friendzoned a few women now too. But if my ex were to reach out to me again, unfortunately I’m tempted to let it escalate to sex and then break it off with her (albeit gently). A little bit of revenge for the way she treated me. The thought and the urge is there, but rationally I know that’s hurtful and ineffective behavior so I would try my best not to.
Can you please do a video about no contact going on past 6 months and how that affects your chances it's been 8 months for me now and I'm so scared but she's not coming to the point where it's literally hard for me to just get through the day let alone do all this other stuff that you're saying all the time I'm supposed to be doing but I literally don't have the capacity to right now because I'm just a total wreck on the inside. And before you said yes, I am trying literally everything I can I'm getting help professionally but it's not helping at all
I suggest getting the work books if you haven't already, I understand your pain, do it for your sake instead of waiting for them to return & when they do you'll be in a more secure place & ready. My Ex reached out at 9 months, we broke up in 2021. I grew so much & changed I don't want my Ex back.
If this helps, for an Avoidant ex, return data shows anywhere from 4 months to 5 years. After 5 years, statistically, they probably aren't coming back. I'm not encouraging you to put your life on hold for 5 years, just letting you know all hope isn't lost. Lastly, it's rare, but Coach had 1 couple reunite after 50 years and I just read a story about a 22 year apart couple successfully getting together. Keep them unblocked and in your heart and live your life. It's like the lottery; you never know. 🪽 💸
Perfect video for my situation. My ex of 2 years who dumped me over 2 months ago came back to me and wants to try again. We were no contact until now and things are going a little too good. How can we do this again if im feeling a little worried. Other than that things are going fine
The whole notion of a trauma bond has been elusive for me to grasp.. or maybe I didn't want to acknowledge it.. I can totally see how my ex was very avoidant, and I was sent reeling to the anxious side, more so than I ever had been.. her disengagement tactics made my anxiety really show.. it was as if I was watching myself act the fool.. I had not only lots of unresolved trauma from my past, but I also had lots of currently opened trauma wounds.. I would say that the connection I experienced with my ex was a trauma bond, big time.. I hardly got to know her at all.. she was very much into "fun" . she was quick to make superficial connections for the sake of her advancing in professional ways, I know she had a lot of trauma from her childhood and she really excelled at becoming financially independent and removing himself from a very strict and very religious country.. most of them never escape from there.. she was just fresh out, on a tourist visa.. her family thought she was just going on vacation.. I'm glad that she was able to do what she needed to do on One sort of level to differentiate.. but I doubt she is actually differentiating from them.. I know she wants to, perhaps she will in time.. we hardly had any time together and it was so weird to me how I could logically see how I should not be so affected by this.. I felt attached so fast.. I was in the honeymoon phase before we even got engaged lol... I first found the work of you guys about a year after the breakup.. I was basically asking Google why am I still hurting over this breakup.. The first video I found from you guys was with Margaret going over the evolutionary reasons that we are hardwired to connect due to nature, and it's dangerous, she probably touched on the separation anxiety stemming from being physically separated from our mothers.. Little by little I was listening less to these crazy relationship coaches trying to teach manipulations.. I understand they mean well and they are trying to teach what they understand, of course when we really start to understand on a deeper level, then we realized that all of those crazy ideas are merely manipulations, towards an attempt to get our basic human needs met.. I probably listen to your videos for over 2 years religiously.. spending hours every day literally.. but then I started to make slightly better income at a different job.. still my income was very low but I delved into the workbooks.. I went through them thoroughly two times within a few months, that might seem fast.. I had also put myself into a job in the mall, I was like a social hub in there so much so.. The top mall manager was very corrupt and very much took actions towards making me uncomfortable and eventually drove the business out that I was running for a lovely Pakistani family.. ironically lol.. the great amount of social networking I was doing in there was fostering my growth.. I was learning to sit healthy boundaries for myself.. I'm growing very well and I have so much choice with women now.. it's unbelievable.. I am not exhibiting being in a rush to have an exclusive romantic relationship... with experience I am becoming much better at vetting potential partners.. many people are my partners on a social level.. I am supportive of them and their pursuits and they are supportive for me too.. I tell people about your work sometimes when I feel they are open enough.. most of them are just not experiencing enough pain to want to pursue it.. they make excuses of course.. The one thing that triggers My anxiety is to see people tolerating abuse.. I spot the patterns very early.. Mall security wanted me to work for them because I was good at spotting issues in the early phases and I would de-escalate things very well, I would actually bail out security guards that didn't know how to handle situations.. One of those guards now works for the FBI.. hopefully they train him good because he really had no idea when he was doing lol, his best advantage is that he is a tall strong athletic man.. but he obviously doesn't know what to do with his equipment lol... he was a big time manipulator.. trying with the girls way too much.. yeah.. I can see during this holiday season how people have so much anxiety going on.. they are very unaware.. but some people are starting to notice and even asking me how everyone around me is getting sick with the flu and I'm not, I didn't let them give me any of the supposed vaccines, I never would wear a mask because it's just the worst thing for your immune system.. I do eat mostly healthy.. though I am now less active than ever before and I eat a box of cookies every night, meanwhile I'm losing weight anyway, as I can now fit into pants that I haven't been able to in years.. I realize that after doing the workbooks.. I am in such a healthier state emotionally and of course that affects me physically as well.. My hormones of course are much better, my current job has been difficult with making my sleeping schedule very unhealthy, yet I'm out in the cold day and night without a jacket and I'm plenty comfortable.. perhaps one day a partner and I will be cozy together and sharing our genuine shelves with one another. I live with my family of origin currently but I am differentiating from them very well even though I am interacting with them still quite a bit.. for them to not be able to control me and manipulate me does trigger their anxiety.. I mention to them the dynamics I am aware of now and mention to them the way that I have found to guide me towards healing, my mother could really use it but I doubt she will ever start the journey. thank you guys for everything you do.. I will try to remain respectful with the way I comment..
I heard that those of us that are so focused on being caregivers for others.. we are considered masochists, possibly meaning that we will try to serve others so much even if we are being hurt.. altruism I believe. maybe it only becomes altruistic when we are further down the scale of being like that, I have no education towards being a therapist in the professional sense.. I am just learning as I'm going. some of the lessons in my life were painful but I like how the work you guys are doing is sharing other people's experiences on top of your own and we all get to learn cumulatively.. which of course is much less painful.
A loss is a big part! We lost a baby and just about broke us as a couple and individually. She deals with it with anger and not treating me very well. myself sadness and just want left alone
4 month very intense relationship, lots of trips and a summer to always remember. Shes more avoidant, has had plenty if relationships before me, this was my first. Of course I place a lot of value on it. But does she? Probably not. Ugh.
woah hold up. i had a 4 month summer relationship too. it was super good at the start- we went on a bunch of little adventures. as the time goes, it felt like i was asking too much but i realised they were the barest minimum and i pretty much cried a lot. he’s had plenty of relationships before me and this was my first. i think he’s fearful avoidant and he kinda love bombed me. but yes i also put him on a pedestal
the closing statement here lol, happy.. Yes we want to see other people happy, we tend to want to give others what we want.. can you guess where I learned that 😁🙏 One of my favorite phrases: true Joy arises from within ✨
Coach, can you make a video about having the same social circle and functions as your ex? Me and my monkey branching ex have the same friends (that's how we became friends before becoming a couple) We used to have game nights together with our friends but now we take turns to hang out with our friends.
No it wasn’t satisfying enough for Me . I spent much of the time being hurt . He was an emotionally unavailable avoidant. My wants and needs were not a consideration. I was never put as a priority. His life came first , everyone and everything but Me . He wouldn’t disappoint others but so easily disappoint Me without any care for my pain
It’s been 10months she broke up with me we dated 10months 2 long distance… I returned to her country 1 1/2 months ago she had agreed to meet up then cancelled the day of… couple days ago I sent her a message that looking forward to her completing her dreams and wishing her the best as ill support her from afar I expect no response I’m just trying to move on also recently deleted the photos of her… I gotta focus on University and myself maybe after I graduate I’ll try dating again
My ex who has BPD told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her, even if we were 3 months together, but she broke up with me 2 months ago.
@@jrodbeme did she return to you? I am in no contact with her, hoping she will come back. The issue is that she is going to therapy so I hope she will get better and come back.
@@AndrejTman I married to a BPD, just leave it, you don’t want them back, it was 5 years of near torture. It’s fresh that’s why you miss them. Just walk away.
What about a 10 year relationship, would’ve been 11 today and when I was planning on proposing. But she seems more hung up on her recent ex of 3 months (rebound) It’s her birthday today and I’m tying really hard not to wish her a happy birthday
Questions about affairs. 1 what happen If i was dating Morgan i starting seeing my ex boyfriend Stephen start to make emotional attachment to Stephen i when i know him from school to college by texting him and meeting up and talking to Stephen on phone and thinking about him and watching films with him without never never having no sex ? Is it emotional cheating
No. He has no reason to revisit as he had no conmection to me whatsoever. No. I have even less reason to revisit as my connection to him was one sided and he isn't good enough for me.
A client said to me this week: After this break up, I am focused on being someone a partner would never want to leave. Love the motivation!
Craig, I just want to tell you that I was a total mess when my boyfriend and I broke up 2 years ago. I got him back because I watched all your videos every single day for hours. I was so sad. We have been together 1 year now and we have a different relationship. Better but of course still with challenges. You and your team really helped me and I did everything you said after some desperate attempts because I could not control myself. It didn't work until I told myself that I could contact him once every 3 months and only with something positive. He started dating a new woman who wanted to marry him. He broke up with her and I called 2 months after. We met and we just knew that we wanted to be together. It was amazing. So to everyone: It really is possible for most of you if there has been love. Slow down, trust the process, believe in it and exercise, look great and get a new hobby! I started hiking. And watch Craigs videos every day if you need a friend.
For 3 months I was desperate and longing for an ex. But now when you asked “is it enough for you?” my answer was a no. Ha!
I can't help but think of a rubber band analogy. Maybe most relationships work when the rubber band is in flux, a dormant state ( happy & content). The minute it's stretched means that at least one is pulling in the opposite direction, if both are pulling away far enough it can break just like a relationship. Over time if people have taken each other for granted, the rubber band loses its elasticity and when stretched it doesn't return to its normal state, it assumes a new, wider normal ( disengagement, lack of communication and connection, we've all seen those couples ), before the rubber perishes along with the relationship. I guess the moral is to keep the elasticity in your relationship. That way when it's stretched for whatever reason, ( life's trials, ups and downs ), the rubber band ( people ) always comes back.
Our was overall great. Through almost 4 years he plummeted from anxious to avoidant. Found ourselves trapped on a friend zone last year. I decided to start NC a few weeks ago. The other part needs to feel the grief and loss. In the meantime, I’m focusing on myself, shutting off social media and mutual friends interferences. It takes time and effort working on self growth. Loving me comes first ❤.
Your videos are true jewels. I have no words in expressing my gratitude to you guys!
Great question at the end of this video.. Yes, here I am using the comments section as a continuation of the workbooks lol.. was my experience with my ex enough for me to reconsider another go with her?... I would say that at that point in time that we had met, yes I was going through quite a bit, my anxiety drove me to attempt to force the connection to grow before she was ready.. I ignored many red flags, I even lowered my standards in some ways.. she was becoming more attractive to me in every way no matter how she was behaving.. I realized this is just anxiety driven effects I was experiencing.. does anger surface for me sometimes? Yes.. do I care about her? Yes, very much so............ I believe if she ever attempted to reconnect.. I would probably be polite and give her a chance.. I doubt I will put up with her behaviors, her appearance probably won't be attractive to me.. I will try to be polite and let her down easily.. at that point it might be difficult for her and I can understand that, but I have grown immensely.. I have actually turned down many opportunities with many women that are probably more along their journey of growth than she is.. so I doubt I would want anything more than friendship with her.. Yes as a man I am actually friendzoning women left and right.. not in a manipulative way but in the way that I am supportive for them as a friend.. I don't try to use them like objects.. we each help each other as we reflect and share.. do some women try to manipulate me into things.. of course they do.. sometimes they succeed at some levels lol... I live and I learn, it's all a blessing. thank you again.
I agree with this comment. I’ve done the workbooks plus additional readings and therapy for many years. I’ve actually friendzoned a few women now too. But if my ex were to reach out to me again, unfortunately I’m tempted to let it escalate to sex and then break it off with her (albeit gently). A little bit of revenge for the way she treated me. The thought and the urge is there, but rationally I know that’s hurtful and ineffective behavior so I would try my best not to.
Loved this comment. It just gives those good vibes
Can you please do a video about no contact going on past 6 months and how that affects your chances it's been 8 months for me now and I'm so scared but she's not coming to the point where it's literally hard for me to just get through the day let alone do all this other stuff that you're saying all the time I'm supposed to be doing but I literally don't have the capacity to right now because I'm just a total wreck on the inside. And before you said yes, I am trying literally everything I can I'm getting help professionally but it's not helping at all
I suggest getting the work books if you haven't already, I understand your pain, do it for your sake instead of waiting for them to return & when they do you'll be in a more secure place & ready. My Ex reached out at 9 months, we broke up in 2021. I grew so much & changed I don't want my Ex back.
@@sindamaricic7369 i did but doesn't help everyone as much
If this helps, for an Avoidant ex, return data shows anywhere from 4 months to 5 years. After 5 years, statistically, they probably aren't coming back. I'm not encouraging you to put your life on hold for 5 years, just letting you know all hope isn't lost. Lastly, it's rare, but Coach had 1 couple reunite after 50 years and I just read a story about a 22 year apart couple successfully getting together. Keep them unblocked and in your heart and live your life. It's like the lottery; you never know. 🪽 💸
I would love a longer version of this topic
Perfect video for my situation. My ex of 2 years who dumped me over 2 months ago came back to me and wants to try again. We were no contact until now and things are going a little too good. How can we do this again if im feeling a little worried. Other than that things are going fine
you totally read my mind here.. beautiful timing
The whole notion of a trauma bond has been elusive for me to grasp.. or maybe I didn't want to acknowledge it.. I can totally see how my ex was very avoidant, and I was sent reeling to the anxious side, more so than I ever had been.. her disengagement tactics made my anxiety really show.. it was as if I was watching myself act the fool.. I had not only lots of unresolved trauma from my past, but I also had lots of currently opened trauma wounds.. I would say that the connection I experienced with my ex was a trauma bond, big time.. I hardly got to know her at all.. she was very much into "fun" . she was quick to make superficial connections for the sake of her advancing in professional ways, I know she had a lot of trauma from her childhood and she really excelled at becoming financially independent and removing himself from a very strict and very religious country.. most of them never escape from there.. she was just fresh out, on a tourist visa.. her family thought she was just going on vacation.. I'm glad that she was able to do what she needed to do on One sort of level to differentiate.. but I doubt she is actually differentiating from them.. I know she wants to, perhaps she will in time.. we hardly had any time together and it was so weird to me how I could logically see how I should not be so affected by this.. I felt attached so fast.. I was in the honeymoon phase before we even got engaged lol... I first found the work of you guys about a year after the breakup.. I was basically asking Google why am I still hurting over this breakup.. The first video I found from you guys was with Margaret going over the evolutionary reasons that we are hardwired to connect due to nature, and it's dangerous, she probably touched on the separation anxiety stemming from being physically separated from our mothers.. Little by little I was listening less to these crazy relationship coaches trying to teach manipulations.. I understand they mean well and they are trying to teach what they understand, of course when we really start to understand on a deeper level, then we realized that all of those crazy ideas are merely manipulations, towards an attempt to get our basic human needs met.. I probably listen to your videos for over 2 years religiously.. spending hours every day literally.. but then I started to make slightly better income at a different job.. still my income was very low but I delved into the workbooks.. I went through them thoroughly two times within a few months, that might seem fast.. I had also put myself into a job in the mall, I was like a social hub in there so much so.. The top mall manager was very corrupt and very much took actions towards making me uncomfortable and eventually drove the business out that I was running for a lovely Pakistani family.. ironically lol.. the great amount of social networking I was doing in there was fostering my growth.. I was learning to sit healthy boundaries for myself.. I'm growing very well and I have so much choice with women now.. it's unbelievable.. I am not exhibiting being in a rush to have an exclusive romantic relationship... with experience I am becoming much better at vetting potential partners.. many people are my partners on a social level.. I am supportive of them and their pursuits and they are supportive for me too.. I tell people about your work sometimes when I feel they are open enough.. most of them are just not experiencing enough pain to want to pursue it.. they make excuses of course.. The one thing that triggers My anxiety is to see people tolerating abuse.. I spot the patterns very early.. Mall security wanted me to work for them because I was good at spotting issues in the early phases and I would de-escalate things very well, I would actually bail out security guards that didn't know how to handle situations.. One of those guards now works for the FBI.. hopefully they train him good because he really had no idea when he was doing lol, his best advantage is that he is a tall strong athletic man.. but he obviously doesn't know what to do with his equipment lol... he was a big time manipulator.. trying with the girls way too much.. yeah.. I can see during this holiday season how people have so much anxiety going on.. they are very unaware.. but some people are starting to notice and even asking me how everyone around me is getting sick with the flu and I'm not, I didn't let them give me any of the supposed vaccines, I never would wear a mask because it's just the worst thing for your immune system.. I do eat mostly healthy.. though I am now less active than ever before and I eat a box of cookies every night, meanwhile I'm losing weight anyway, as I can now fit into pants that I haven't been able to in years.. I realize that after doing the workbooks.. I am in such a healthier state emotionally and of course that affects me physically as well.. My hormones of course are much better, my current job has been difficult with making my sleeping schedule very unhealthy, yet I'm out in the cold day and night without a jacket and I'm plenty comfortable.. perhaps one day a partner and I will be cozy together and sharing our genuine shelves with one another. I live with my family of origin currently but I am differentiating from them very well even though I am interacting with them still quite a bit.. for them to not be able to control me and manipulate me does trigger their anxiety.. I mention to them the dynamics I am aware of now and mention to them the way that I have found to guide me towards healing, my mother could really use it but I doubt she will ever start the journey. thank you guys for everything you do.. I will try to remain respectful with the way I comment..
I heard that those of us that are so focused on being caregivers for others.. we are considered masochists, possibly meaning that we will try to serve others so much even if we are being hurt.. altruism I believe. maybe it only becomes altruistic when we are further down the scale of being like that, I have no education towards being a therapist in the professional sense.. I am just learning as I'm going. some of the lessons in my life were painful but I like how the work you guys are doing is sharing other people's experiences on top of your own and we all get to learn cumulatively.. which of course is much less painful.
A loss is a big part! We lost a baby and just about broke us as a couple and individually. She deals with it with anger and not treating me very well. myself sadness and just want left alone
4 month very intense relationship, lots of trips and a summer to always remember. Shes more avoidant, has had plenty if relationships before me, this was my first. Of course I place a lot of value on it. But does she? Probably not. Ugh.
woah hold up. i had a 4 month summer relationship too. it was super good at the start- we went on a bunch of little adventures. as the time goes, it felt like i was asking too much but i realised they were the barest minimum and i pretty much cried a lot. he’s had plenty of relationships before me and this was my first. i think he’s fearful avoidant and he kinda love bombed me. but yes i also put him on a pedestal
How did this work out ? as basically same thing just happened to me
Can you do a segment on.a Loss? In my case it was a loss of a baby and how it effects a relationship
the closing statement here lol, happy.. Yes we want to see other people happy, we tend to want to give others what we want.. can you guess where I learned that 😁🙏 One of my favorite phrases: true Joy arises from within ✨
Amazing vídeo
Coach, can you make a video about having the same social circle and functions as your ex?
Me and my monkey branching ex have the same friends (that's how we became friends before becoming a couple)
We used to have game nights together with our friends but now we take turns to hang out with our friends.
I can't find any relationship videos on dating an avoidance with extreme mental illness
Can anyone direct me to a channel?
No it wasn’t satisfying enough for Me . I spent much of the time being hurt . He was an emotionally unavailable avoidant. My wants and needs were not a consideration. I was never put as a priority. His life came first , everyone and everything but Me .
He wouldn’t disappoint others but so easily disappoint Me without any care for my pain
It’s been 10months she broke up with me we dated 10months 2 long distance… I returned to her country 1 1/2 months ago she had agreed to meet up then cancelled the day of… couple days ago I sent her a message that looking forward to her completing her dreams and wishing her the best as ill support her from afar I expect no response I’m just trying to move on also recently deleted the photos of her… I gotta focus on University and myself maybe after I graduate I’ll try dating again
Thankyou so much for your videoes❤
I sure thought so but I can't speak for him. Man I miss him.
My ex who has BPD told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her, even if we were 3 months together, but she broke up with me 2 months ago.
That’s the famous line from people with BPD. I have a BPD ex too. Heard all the same love bombing.
@@jrodbeme did she return to you? I am in no contact with her, hoping she will come back. The issue is that she is going to therapy so I hope she will get better and come back.
@@AndrejTmanno. It’s been 3 months since the breakup. She blocked me on all fronts at the breakup.
@@AndrejTman I married to a BPD, just leave it, you don’t want them back, it was 5 years of near torture.
It’s fresh that’s why you miss them. Just walk away.
What about a 10 year relationship, would’ve been 11 today and when I was planning on proposing. But she seems more hung up on her recent ex of 3 months (rebound)
It’s her birthday today and I’m tying really hard not to wish her a happy birthday
After watching the video I full, yes I would for her
Questions about affairs.
1 what happen If i was dating Morgan i starting seeing my ex boyfriend Stephen start to make emotional attachment to Stephen i when i know him from school to college by texting him and meeting up and talking to Stephen on phone and thinking about him and watching films with him without never never having no sex ? Is it emotional cheating
These videos just destroy my hope lol
No. He has no reason to revisit as he had no conmection to me whatsoever.
No. I have even less reason to revisit as my connection to him was one sided and he isn't good enough for me.
If his new one don’t work out
What other points didn’t we cover?
A video going deeper into the points would be good.
They have to have a soul and not be an npc.