Every Conservative Conference speech!

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  • Опубликовано: 15 май 2023
  • With two Conservative Conferences this week in the UK, what have they all been saying?
    Satirical political comedy sketch from the comedian Matt Green.
    See me live! www.livenation.co.uk/artist-m...
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Комментарии • 226

  • @dondoodat
    @dondoodat Год назад +314

    A sensible, straightforward and forthreich speech.

    • @jeremymerrifield7244
      @jeremymerrifield7244 Год назад +14

      clever

    • @ogribiker8535
      @ogribiker8535 Год назад +10

      😂😂😂

    • @tonyb9735
      @tonyb9735 Год назад +12

      I see what you did there.

    • @billybobthornton9668
      @billybobthornton9668 Год назад +12

      Just one like isn't enough!!! 😂🤣🤣🤣

    • @RichWoods23
      @RichWoods23 Год назад +17

      @@billybobthornton9668 Then don't just give a single thumbs-up but raise your right hand proudly into the air, again and again!

  • @31Blaize
    @31Blaize Год назад +125

    I still think this was less loony than the actual conference 😂

    • @MattGreenComedy
      @MattGreenComedy  Год назад +39

      Yes the actual speeches are genuinely frightening at times

    • @31Blaize
      @31Blaize Год назад +14

      @@MattGreenComedy Absolutely terrifying! I'll be giving myself nightmares if I consider Cruella Braverman for one second as PM 😰

    • @allmodcons2274
      @allmodcons2274 Год назад +7

      It is very scary.

    • @ToCoSo
      @ToCoSo Год назад +7

      @@MattGreenComedy yep there was some guy who was complaining that they are going to try to stop hate speech and this will affect freedom of speech!!

  • @leocordeiro81
    @leocordeiro81 Год назад +14

    “Our young people need to feel they have a place in this country, because after Brexit we made absolutely sure they have no place in anyother country.” 🤦🤦🤦🤣🤣🤣

  • @tx5190
    @tx5190 Год назад +7

    ... at that point I was asked to leave Madame Tussauds...😂😂😂

  • @clydebear6914
    @clydebear6914 Год назад +6

    "Look, uniforms with armbands ARE practical!" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @SamLowryDZ-015
    @SamLowryDZ-015 Год назад +30

    Yes the party is the 'Nat-C' party and yes you can 'see guile.'

  • @sarkybugger5009
    @sarkybugger5009 Год назад +6

    Give them all a gold star and pack them off to Centre Parks for a well earned holiday.

  • @ToothbrushMan
    @ToothbrushMan Год назад +64

    Very soon we'll be seeing armbands as acceptable form of ID at polling stations.

    • @frankshailes3205
      @frankshailes3205 Год назад +2

      The previous Nat-C/Nazi Party had a little badge.

    • @aminechakak6460
      @aminechakak6460 Год назад

      Liberals asked for papers to go grocery shopping pal.

    • @martynjones8560
      @martynjones8560 Год назад

      Then, a little later, they'll be the ONLY form of ID.

  • @eifionlewis7765
    @eifionlewis7765 Год назад +6

    Vicious but fair. And terrifying.

  • @hmallett
    @hmallett Год назад +4

    It’s only because of this that I realised that the “inspiring quote” was from Gladiator, not from Gladiators.
    “Contenders, ready! Gladiators, ready!”

  • @tartytube
    @tartytube Год назад +4

    "Some kind of patch" - so scary! Sent shivers through me. Brilliant as usual.

  • @Zero_Ninety
    @Zero_Ninety Год назад +6

    Never thought I'd see a NatC rally in the UK.

  • @Armetheon
    @Armetheon Год назад +30

    Can we just appreciate the level of effort that went into the backdrop for a second

  • @VerbalEarthworm
    @VerbalEarthworm Год назад +10

    Spot On! 🎯

  • @patrickyorke3028
    @patrickyorke3028 Год назад +15

    Absolutely superb Sir, unfortunately for us all just a little tad too real. .

  • @Rami-ll2bq
    @Rami-ll2bq Год назад +31

    when satire is truth n news is satire, we in deep shit

    • @capt.bart.roberts4975
      @capt.bart.roberts4975 Год назад

      I have two theories at the moment,
      1)We've taken a wrong turn down the trouser leg of time and into a satire universe. 😐
      2)David Icke maybe on to something with the Reptilians! 🙃

    • @ambient675
      @ambient675 Год назад +4

      So deep.

  • @andrewneil6027
    @andrewneil6027 Год назад +14

    2:45 “This country is broke, yes we did that…that means we can put it back together” 🤯
    U🤟

  • @Ology3121
    @Ology3121 Год назад +66

    Johnson is ahead of the curve on off spring. Rumour has it the total number of children he's spaffed equates to the total number of Conservative seats they'll hold after the next election...😂😂

    • @frankshailes3205
      @frankshailes3205 Год назад +3

      Sadly the offspring will be thick, as the mothers all have the IQ of a tadpole. They must do to breed with him.

    • @kevincox-qc9mc
      @kevincox-qc9mc Год назад

      If only that were to come true it would be a very good thing

  • @nickthenoodle9206
    @nickthenoodle9206 Год назад +43

    I prefer the terms Voter Distillation and Electorate Correction - Both fantastic and sadly true.

  • @Anmeteor9663
    @Anmeteor9663 Год назад +18

    How can this stuff even be the subject of British satire? Truly terrifying that it has come to this.

  • @fromgermany271
    @fromgermany271 Год назад +5

    „just because Germany messed it up“
    I thought sending V1/2 was giving a hint, but looks like every kid needs to try the hot plate on it’s own.
    😂😂

  • @tsr207
    @tsr207 Год назад +11

    Accurate as ever - Matt is now the main "goto" political source- now that the BBC news channel has given up ,(sorry, Prime minister have to stop you there - we need to let BBC World show a commercial while we show a feature on guide dogs!),
    Brilliant !

  • @SkyEcho7
    @SkyEcho7 Год назад +5

    '...& I don't want to be surrounded by dead birds - unless I shot them.' 😮😞

  • @zetectic7968
    @zetectic7968 Год назад +67

    So many zingers packed into 4 minutes. Really on form with this! Not so much poking fun at the Con-servatives, more dropping an anvil on them 👍

    • @minskysfeedbackyianni1302
      @minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Год назад +1

      @Zetectic You're not comparing the Tories to Wiley Coyote are you? Ok, fair enough!😉

  • @rosemarystewart7405
    @rosemarystewart7405 Год назад +57

    Hilarious as always Matt. Viciously and accurately funny 😂❤

  • @soylentgreen326
    @soylentgreen326 Год назад +5

    Matt Green for PM ❤
    Policies by Tussaud’s 🎉

  • @TheReubstar
    @TheReubstar Год назад +5

    The strange thing is that this speech probably could have been made at the conference and taken seriously!

  • @Rami-ll2bq
    @Rami-ll2bq Год назад +15

    god forbid population start to think for themselves! the whole system of lies would crumble!

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 Год назад +1

      A famous politician once said: How fortunate for the rulers that people don't think.

    • @Rami-ll2bq
      @Rami-ll2bq Год назад

      @@davidwuhrer6704 the more i hear politicians speak, the more obvious it is that they really speak as if we all idiots, sad truth, the majority is. scared of foreigners while all murdrers i seen are from right here!🥲🥲

  • @allmodcons2274
    @allmodcons2274 Год назад +20

    I did think satire died over the last 13yrs. Thank you for reviving it. If you don't laugh, vendetta becomes a real thing..😱

  • @marvintpandroid2213
    @marvintpandroid2213 Год назад +10

    The Nat.Cs

  • @maryfenton958
    @maryfenton958 Год назад +4

    I love this man, he makes me .laugh out loud! Just what I need!❤😂

  • @klmn2000
    @klmn2000 Год назад +7

    Always on point, always hilarious, always intelligent comedy!
    Would the scientists please, please hurry up and repair the time machine that brought Moggie here from the 1800s? And can they make room for any more (like 50% of the tory cabinet and some back benchers?)

  • @capt.bart.roberts4975
    @capt.bart.roberts4975 Год назад +10

    You do swivel eyed tory so well.

  • @ZolaClyde
    @ZolaClyde Год назад +11

    Perfect takedown of Suella’s horrid speech! 😂

  • @Tr1ckady
    @Tr1ckady Год назад +18

    Hilarious and sadly accurate

  • @JohnAllenRoyce
    @JohnAllenRoyce Год назад +9

    Oh Matt, you keep giving me hope for humanity and it hurts so much. 😂😭

  • @martincopeland8153
    @martincopeland8153 Год назад +5

    You can just see that 30p ex-miner, ex-Labour-Councillor President of Vice dressed in his Brown Uniform with its colourful armband; admit it you too have already had nightmares with him dressed that way and the Horst Wessel playing in the background. It’s what keeps us woke all night screaming.

  • @weswheel4834
    @weswheel4834 Год назад +6

    Nicely setup, starting with "spoken with Thatcher" :D

  • @breadcircuses6085
    @breadcircuses6085 Год назад +18

    Brilliant as always!

  • @henrygingercat
    @henrygingercat Год назад +6

    Mr. G. has obviously been ghost-writing for the current conference; if not then it's uncanny.

  • @TheBearAndHer
    @TheBearAndHer Год назад +4

    The line between conferences and rallies is beginning to become a little blurred methinks but that just might be due to me using the reading glasses I got out of a cracker at Christmas - can't recall what dear lady's name was now. Anyway, this marvelous speech has cleared up the woke-induced erectile dysfunction in my right arm a treat - it is now sticking out and as rigid as a broom handle. And...... as a result the number 19 bus is stopping to let me get on for once. Hoorah! This was brilliant Matt. Top hole quality throughout. Thank you.

  • @chrissilver7719
    @chrissilver7719 Год назад +5

    National socialyyyyyyeeehh 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @izzytrue8630
    @izzytrue8630 Год назад +9

    More babies!!! I imagine the Tories will have to get rid of the bedroom tax!!!

    • @Levenstone132
      @Levenstone132 Год назад +2

      Not much chance from that audience. Thankfully.

  • @kevincox-qc9mc
    @kevincox-qc9mc Год назад +3

    Lovely as always Matt. Exposing the dark, terrifying stupidity of this scion of the current government.

  • @lordbiro
    @lordbiro Год назад +5

    Horribly accurate 😂🤣💥

  • @boxsterman77
    @boxsterman77 Год назад +6

    It's amazing how the right-wing here in the US resembles that of the UK.

  • @stevedrane2364
    @stevedrane2364 Год назад +3

    Brilliant. . Please attend their conference. . 🤣🤣

  • @Amstermouse1
    @Amstermouse1 Год назад +5

    Brilliant 👏 😂

  • @rsfaeges5298
    @rsfaeges5298 Год назад +4

    😂
    Worth waking up for!
    (In North America)

  • @steves7013
    @steves7013 Год назад +4

    Nails & heads spinning to mind! You nailed it again Matt 🙏😂✊✊

  • @Grim_Beard
    @Grim_Beard Год назад +10

    We're one nation Conservatives: one people, one nation, one leader. Oh, and we think we finally have a solution to the 'immigrant problem'.

    • @narannavan
      @narannavan Год назад +1

      ​@@roberttownrow3606 exactly

  • @tonguelessghostofsin
    @tonguelessghostofsin Год назад +4

    🤣 Superb stuff Matt!

  • @neilrabbetts7703
    @neilrabbetts7703 Год назад +6

    Oh what fun was had at the NAT-C event, you may even say it was a NAT-C Rally

  • @Mudge07
    @Mudge07 Год назад +10

    Silly season is now officially open, thanks Matt. Post-election Blues blues singing from the balconies and rafters across the hinterland.

  • @seanduggan3453
    @seanduggan3453 Год назад +3

    There are so many gems in this one. As the one seagull said to the other at the beach "There's hardly any need to aim."

  • @iainprendergast8311
    @iainprendergast8311 Год назад +7

    You’re almost been too kind, but you still at have out done yourself, well done.

  • @ambient675
    @ambient675 Год назад +5

    This was perfect.

  • @Rami-ll2bq
    @Rami-ll2bq Год назад +7

    🤣🤣🤣

  • @robertbruce7686
    @robertbruce7686 Год назад +5

    CON is the word!

  • @eileenclark7744
    @eileenclark7744 Год назад +3

    Brilliant

  • @johannesvandenheuvel-1
    @johannesvandenheuvel-1 Год назад +5

    Wow! A topical layer cake filled with ingredients from the conservative underbelly. I immediately 'rewound' it for a second helping...

  • @garytaylor6408
    @garytaylor6408 Год назад +5

    Outstanding!

  • @sulalee7413
    @sulalee7413 Год назад +3

    I'm convinced! A patch it is then. 👍

  • @andrewgn7430
    @andrewgn7430 Год назад +3

    Amazing… British politics must be the top rated show in the English speaking world by now! Truly - it swims between fiction, reality and nightmare 😮
    You are a great guide Matt! Cheers

  • @mdkram
    @mdkram Год назад +27

    I can guarantee an out-loud laugh with your skits, Matt. Great stuff!

  • @hypereze
    @hypereze Год назад +45

    “There’s nothing wrong with Nationalism per se, just because Germany “mucked it up” a couple of times… “
    Seems like you went a bit far with that one for comic effect, except grotesquely I believe it is an actual quote from this week.

    • @ai-d2121
      @ai-d2121 Год назад +1

      Perhaps chauvinism is a better term

    • @martincopeland8153
      @martincopeland8153 Год назад +1

      @@ai-d2121wasn’t Chauvin some sort of froggy johnie?
      Can’t have that.

    • @smorris12
      @smorris12 Год назад +9

      Yep, a real quote. I heard it and my mouth literally dropped

    • @minskysfeedbackyianni1302
      @minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Год назад

      @smorris12 Haven't heard about that, who said it?

    • @smorris12
      @smorris12 Год назад +1

      @@minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Didn't catch who it was. It was a passing bit in today's News Agents podcast

  • @connclissmann6514
    @connclissmann6514 Год назад +7

    More Conservative conferences! 😊

    • @verttikoo2052
      @verttikoo2052 Год назад +1

      😱 Nooo 😱 It means that we are going to have the Tory leadershit contest again 😭 Oh the horror 😱

  • @stevena488
    @stevena488 Год назад +3

    Sensible Conservative Babies, for a Sensible Conservative Britain.
    Brought to you by AMERICA.

  • @TheEvertw
    @TheEvertw Год назад +5

    "Unless I shot them"
    priceless

  • @timmieboy37
    @timmieboy37 Год назад +11

    Brilliant and right on the button as always! Thanks Matt!

  • @mcjs8640
    @mcjs8640 Год назад +6

    So scarily accurate. Funny and frightening at the same time. Very effective - but did you really have to bring up Thatcher? 🤢 I nearly brought up my tea!
    Carry on with the excellent work Matt. No-one does it quite like you! 👍

  • @jenlewis9002
    @jenlewis9002 Год назад +15

    Brilliant Matt! I mean, I presume this is your work and not just repeated verbatim. It's so hard to tell these days

    • @MattGreenComedy
      @MattGreenComedy  Год назад +9

      Sadly more of it is verbatim than I'd like!

    • @jenlewis9002
      @jenlewis9002 Год назад +5

      @MattGreenComedy if we can hopefully get rid of this lot next GE and a more normal government mean the comedy is more sparse, you've defo got the option of writing speeches for the swivel-eyed loon conferences for extra income, if needed.

  • @ivanotoole26
    @ivanotoole26 Год назад +6

    One point of order Matt - Its 'Pieeewtin' The posher the NatCon (I'm liking that term), the more likely they will add a few vowels to old Vlad's name.

  • @J0MBi
    @J0MBi Год назад +2

    He saved the best lines to the very end, but it's all 🎯

  • @aland155
    @aland155 Год назад +3

    Superb!

  • @mattyb7183
    @mattyb7183 Год назад +8

    There is three days of this nonsense (!!!) Of a conference.
    I'm half expecting that by day 3 someone will be recommending that all undesirables should be "concentrated" into particular areas, where a "solution" could be suggested to deal with all the woke...

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 Год назад

      They did in in Natal (now South Africa). It worked so well others tried it, too.

  • @burner9147
    @burner9147 Год назад +5

    I used to think how can these tory villains get any worse.
    And now they are openly fascists.

  • @jacquelinedeigan776
    @jacquelinedeigan776 Год назад +4

    Love it.. absolutely brilliant..😅😅

  • @veegerman6135
    @veegerman6135 Год назад +2

    'Some sort of patch' Amusingly chilling!

  • @cdean2789
    @cdean2789 Год назад +2

    That headmistress was scary.

  • @leegosling
    @leegosling Год назад +4

    Don’t be silly, be a smarty, watch out for the NatC Party

  • @peterrenn6341
    @peterrenn6341 Год назад +2

    "some sort of patch?" - OUCH!

  • @nickjanczak9665
    @nickjanczak9665 Год назад +5

    They just need some really nice uniforms designed and manufactured for them by some descendent of Hugo Boss!

    • @johnpoile1451
      @johnpoile1451 Год назад

      AEG can do you a good price on ovens as well.

  • @neiladam2832
    @neiladam2832 Год назад +9

    No need to watch the reports on this festival of the insane. I take it that 90% of what Matt said was taken verbatim from these ghouls?

    • @nalodailec
      @nalodailec Год назад +4

      Sounded like that to me. Almost word for word in fact.

  • @kacrichton4434
    @kacrichton4434 Год назад +1

    Should be top of trending!! SPOT ON!

  • @Mark21767
    @Mark21767 Год назад +4

    Great stuff
    😂😂
    Thanks Matt

  • @amanred9337
    @amanred9337 Год назад +3

    He reminds me of David Cameron

  • @taunteratwill1787
    @taunteratwill1787 Год назад +6

    Well Matt just say "I hate Tories" , and I'll vote for you. 😋

  • @SavvyMoneyShow
    @SavvyMoneyShow Год назад +6

    The problem with tory parody is it is hard to tell it from the truth

  • @ai-d2121
    @ai-d2121 Год назад +3

    Electorate correction. That cracked me up. Apart from that not funny. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @bahialynch3037
    @bahialynch3037 Год назад +1

    Brilliant thanks 😂😂😂

  • @johnledington6242
    @johnledington6242 Год назад +4

    He's a funny guy

  • @zora_noamflannery2548
    @zora_noamflannery2548 Год назад +2

    - Word for word applies to us here in the States. How is that? International intrigue is afoot.

  • @reidflemingworldstoughestm1394
    @reidflemingworldstoughestm1394 Год назад +1

    I thought "Oh, this time he's talking about America" right up until you said United Kingdom.

  • @adrianrutterford762
    @adrianrutterford762 Год назад +3

    Nice Work Mr Green

  • @jeff__w
    @jeff__w Год назад +1

    1:38 “voter distillation and electorate correction”

  • @LordAquatar
    @LordAquatar 10 месяцев назад +1

    0:08 the subtlety of that joke 😂 for those of you who didn't get it, he was about to say 'National Socialist German Workers Party' which was the official name of the Nazi Party.

  • @xzcvdfxzc7256
    @xzcvdfxzc7256 Год назад +6

    National Conservatives or NatCs for short

  • @Alex-cw3rz
    @Alex-cw3rz Год назад +4

    Another great video

  • @weswheel4834
    @weswheel4834 Год назад +2

    More babies?? But I thought we were "full up"? Ohh, maybe it's okay as long as they're the right type of baby.