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This Is Why So Many Men & Women Are Single (STOP Doing This!)
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2024
- In this video, I react to some tiktoks and give my perspective on a variety of topics regarding modern dating.
4 Major Signs That She's Wasting Your Time
• 4 Major Signs That She...
CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
EMAIL/COLLAB: courtneycristineryan@gmail.com
I like how Courtney talks positively about masculinity and reinforces that it is important for men to be masculine.
While the rest of the world tries to eliminate it completely because "it's toxic"
Well ladies value gentleman
@@Rodrigo-tk2fm feminism is toxic, poisonous and dangerous. And nasty. Women's rights is biblical and proper and valuable as a blossomed free woman is so beautiful, but feminism? Miss me with that. Esp male feminists 😂😂🤣 big L's on foreheads
@@Rodrigo-tk2fm Sure the bad apples are ruining it for the bunch, but when others intentionally want to throw out the whole bunch, they're making it worse for everyone with their narrowminded views.
@@drip369 what do you think is the definition of feminism, like the dictionary definition… your comment agrees with that definition so are you a male feminist?
Just because crusaders co-opted Christianity doesn’t mean they were Christians. Similarly just because supremacists consider themselves to be feminists doesn’t mean they are feminists. Bashing men that want your mom and sister to have the right to vote is pretty fucking toxic.
I don’t know where the vitriol is coming from but it seems like displaced aggression.
its so refreshing to get some honesty about women from a woman. Men find the mind of women confusing enough, without being miss guided by a lot of bs. Thanks so much Courtney for being open and honest
RUclips is 90% about how to talk to women. Do you see where’s the problem here? lol
It is a little boy energy when a guy acts like he hates women. If he doesn't even have a six pack, good drive than he should stop whining.
She is such a breath of fresh air from similar channels just from a content delivery style. No BS, just giving us the information we want and need to hear. Keep it up!
sorry flight, my comment sounds very similar to yours, I honestly had not seen your comment before posting mine, obviously Courtney's message rings true with a lot of us
'
She is incorrect about some things, possibly even dishonest.
@@kingmarin5820 "She is incorrect about some things, possibly even dishonest."
How is Courtney dishonest?
Allow me to politely push back a bit on the idea of "spending 3 hours and $200 getting ready just to be asked to split the check." 3 hours and $200 getting ready is a red flag the size of a house to me. This just screams narcissism and entitlement. "Come as you are" as the saying goes, not the facade that takes 3 hours and hundreds of dollars to create.
You have to admit though, she was kinda hot! I played that brief clip back about four times. I could literally smell her lovely scent through the TV screen.
@@visaman She,s hot with three inches of make up.
@Lazerpants it's a huge red flag like as a man I own a huge collection of suits that cost a grand plus my collection of Italian dress shoes that cost 375$ each plus a gym membership plus colognes are pretty expensive plus eating healthy and I'm suppose to pay for all the dates cause girls blow are her money on make-up and a new dress she will only wear once lol fuck that split the bill its 2021 women want to be strong and independent spit the damn bill!!
Don't women want equality? How can women want equality and then expect us to pay for the date? When women denounce equality, I'll pay for the date.
Men, pay for the first date. It's your fault if you pick a $$$ restaurant. If they really like you they will pay for the next bill. If not, you'll need to figure out what their expectations are and if you are ok with that to go continue.
Control what's in your control and stop blaming women for shit you let them do.
My first date with my wife cost under $10. The second date cost under $25. The third date cost under $15. Without big spending, she showed she was interested. As a guy, set your standards early. Don't be afraid of rejection from a woman that wants to cost $500+ a month from the start.
In the end, I do alright for myself and I enjoy sharing the fruits with my woman.
Paying the bill is a TREAT. It shows your good intentions on first dates but, during a long-term relationship, implying that a man has to pay the bill is just unsustainable and entitled. If you're going out with an adult (I hope so), you expect them to afford their living expenses, including their leisure activities.
We're grown adults who pay our bills. If a girl shows an attitude when you suggest splitting bills, after you paid all first dates as a TREAT, that's a red flag in my opinion. It's a sign of an immature adult that expects people to offer services for free.
I always split no matter what, but I offer myself to pay the billl when I'm going out with my boyfriend, my mom and my girl friends and I don't want them to worry about money, but just enjoy the moment. Specially when they're going through a difficult moment in their lives or when they're feeling down about themselves or something. It shows love and that you value them, their presence and want them to feel special. Simple as it is.
What a wonderful outlook you have and I can safely assume you are going to live a rich fulfilled life of memories with that attitude. We all need to cherish our friends and family before you are filled with regret instead. Life is so much more than money and materialism, it's about connections with others that make us live forever
Same here!
Problem with paying billon the first date is that 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th date come along and I don't see her reach in her fanny pack to bust out some greenbacks...so that's why I do a meet and greet first to get some parameters established...if she is not willing to play ball...than that's the end of it...save myself some $$$ and tons of headaches
Excellent!👌
Your comment (if all true) answer the question as why you are taken (in a relationship) right now.
So is no wonder. Is hard for people like me that arent too much on the social market ( im kinda shy) to judge people the right way or to found a quality girl thats single. At my 30' I start to think: Why if a girl is so wonderful...is still single?
"Oh, he's just a friend. You don't have to worry about him." means "go ahead and dump me now because I'm going to leave you for him". Most guys learn this the hard way.
As a guy I hate this stereotype because it assumes guys are incapable of being friends with girls, which is toxic
@@MakeMoneyOnlineWithEmma Ah yes, just reinforcing the stereotype buddy
Boyfriend: "Who the hell is this Guy? Have you been cheating on me?!"
Girlfriend: "No, i haven't. He's just a friend".
The friend: "With benefits".
Or instead of being a position where you don't want to have to pay for a girl just do coffee dates. That way she doesn't feel that she needs to spend hours getting ready and you aren't going somewhere wondering if the only reason she's going is she wants free stuff. Women need to understand, that especially in the era of online dating, a first date just isn't what it used to be. In a world where most people knew each other for some time before a date would take place it was a lot more appropriate to make an event of it. Really the first few meetings now are "pre-season" dates to see if you want to get to the point of a real date.
do a picnic cook a lil somethin somethin
Imagine a world with more women like Courtney, oh my heart❤️
What a grand world it would be!
There's some of us who try!
The last conversation about some women feeling like a "mom" to a man definitely hit home. In my last long-term relationship (4 years) this dynamic was present and it definitely had a negative impact on intimacy. Thanks Courtney! Looking forward to working on this and developing a bit more initiative with even the small stuff
I had this older woman (17/18 years older than me) that I thought was a cool person to talk to but all the signs pointed to just being a flirt. Any time it seemed like I showed interest back she would pull back and say stuff like "no time for relationships or I'm just so busy all the time" hit me with "If I was your mom" out of nowhere and even brought up another guy in what was clearly a way to make me jealous and wondered why I didn't give her the attention she felt entitled to or showed "interest" back. Basically I wasn't going to chase or play her games to which she started making assumptions about me.
"In all aspects of female love there is the maternal." Friedrich Nietzsche
1. Don't simp and give women attention they haven't earned.
2. DO NOT take a girl out to dinner as a first date. That's how you get fleeced.
First date - just go to a public place, a cafe, or if there's a event going on/in the city, with music, drinks, food. "you know what I mean". Just have a drink, and you'll see how it go's. You can just pay and leave, and be on eachothers way that you both feel it's going nowhere, also, no group dates, cinema, daily dates, afternoon dates, dinner, unless yall more serious or just want to be friends in general, or it shows just as "friend"
If I take a Woman out to eat on a Date is 'cause I'm hungry or we're both hungry. We're out and about. Usually, I've had it most of the time where I pay some and she pays some if we're going to multiple places or have been in a Relationship for a lil while.
Good advice, problem is, great advice never works out well for the one taking it.
Women have admitted many times online that they WILL use guys for free stuff.
Quit giving out bad advice
One day Courtney will just throw her hands in the air over this. "That's it! I give up! I'm moving to a mountain top with no internet!"
Until then, thanks for the advice.
Most men have moved to that postion.
😂
Ikr?! 😁😁😂😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭
The problem is 90% of people are trash, step one of improving everything is improving yourself.
I wouldn’t say that, I would say lost. It’s due to the corruption of the mind from the social media scourge and extreme feminism. The charge would amount to “corrupting the youth in Ancient Greece”
99%
I as a man, caught the emotional security comment, almost as fast as you did, Courtney. I have seen enough revolutions around the sun to have learned that the strongest relationships are built on emotional security between the partners. And emotional security is based upon trust. This allows you to be your complete authentic self with your partner. I would have to say though that it isn't exactly whether she can be her feminine self or that he can be his masculine self, it is that both can be their real selves. You can show your fears as well as your strengths, and your partner can do the same with you.
Thank you for this. I’m 26 and listing t get better in this
Thank you for sharing. I didn’t understand what emotional security was or how it comes about in a relationship but this helps a little in my understanding of it.
this right here is where its at! You said this perfectly! Just be your truest most authentic comfortable self!! That's what a good relationship should do for both partners!
You sound smart enough to get by....amen to that
people embody both masculine and feminine energies and most people are totally confused about how those work/what they mean
lost culture+society, doomed civilization
most people should not be seeking relationships
The second video conflates two unrelated issues - paying for the date and her prep time/costs. The guy paying for the date is fine, but the woman's prep time and cost (usually unnecessary anyway) are on her and don't figure into the value of her participation.
This!
That is how women get excited for the date, the more primping she does, the more sexy sexy for her man.
@@visaman Sure but the mindset of charging the man for her prep time is immaterial. The man shouldn't complain about the work time it took to save for the date and what other more fun and productive things he could be doing!
Sorry Courtney, I’ve enough experience to know that a guy doing domestic tasks DOES NOT turn a woman on, unless it’s a very infrequent thing and therefore a break from the norm. Women say it is because it’s in their interest to do so. Choreplay ain’t Foreplay.
From my experience women like a man who can put up shelves or lay floors, not dust the shelves or vacuum the floors.
@@dpstrial Don't forget cutting the lawn, electrical work, plumbing, and taking out the trash.
@@fabiosuccess2895 more so yes, as these are traditionally masculine tasks but it’s still the case that these skills feed the comfort side, not the desire side of her attraction to you, hence it does not turn her on that much.
I agree with you! The difference is not do it everyday! It’s a once in a while thing, like a treat. My husband of 15 yrs does the dishes once in a while or sometimes will vacuum if I’m not home just to treat me. I have mowed the lawn for him a few times over the yrs and sometimes I do a bad job and he laughs but he still thinks it’s cute that I tried to surprise him like he does for me.
So it’s more of a treat than a daily thing which makes it attractive when a guy does it! I would get a little annoyed if he took over the chores, I’d rather do them most times.
This absolute true, only man can do that is an already husband of a lady. And is not sexy, is just treat.
Courtney, thank you so much for this video. There were a lot of topics discussed in this video that definitely made me realize where my past relationships have gone wrong, especially my most recent one. There was bad communication, I would provide financially, however she would also do all of the chores, organizing, and planning - and I think I was too pushy with the physical aspect at times instead of slowing it down. I think it slowly created an imbalance and mutual resentment for a variety of reasons. The relationship started dying after there just became a lack of effort and it was incredibly confusing, and painful for both parties. Definitely gives me perspective of what I can do on my part next time to better myself, as well as be aware of the dating process in general; learning the different intentions some women may have and vice versa.
I'm so glad I discovered this channel early in my life. I'm only 17 and I feel like I can really see how more and more women act towards not only each other buts guys also. I just found your channel like a month ago and have seen so many of your videos. Keep up the amazing stuff Courtney, I wish more guys my age watched this kind of thing. I feel like it would really help out, it has for me.
It’s really sad what the world is coming to. Many girls I’ve liked end up being very low quality. Once I find out they smoke weed and die drugs, it is very unattractive. I wish people had way higher standards.
Ikr it’s disturbing
I can relate to that. However, one thing I advise you do is yourself "What am I doing to contribute xyz? What am I gonna do about it?" I invite to challenge you to shift your perspective and throw your energy out there. What you contribute you will get it back, like throwing a boomerang. You can do it!! And you're here on her channel for a reason!
One quote I've learned..."Have faith in the sunrise"
@@tommygunn6901 I am contributing as being a man who does not care what anybody thinks. Rather you like me or not I have my own values. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t do drugs. I do not give into pure pressure it’s who I am and it is who I’m destined to be!
It's perfectly fine if you don't want a woman who smokes weed. I smoke weed myself, so I appreciate that you're voluntarily removing yourself from consideration.
Thank you!
@@gibbletronic5139 I thought everyone smoked
Your approach to helping men and women be better is amazing. Thank for all the work you do and putting yourself out there.
“You should pay for the bill” - untraditional women wanting traditional men. SMDH.
"the guy she told you to not worry about" also translates as - "I need space"
Or at least "I'd rather bangin' with him than you". =))
Regarding intimacy, my personal experience with my ex was that he would only touch or be intimate with me with clear sexual intentions. This eventually made me repulsed by him and ended our relationship.
Depends on the person, obviously, but in general I would agree with Courtney that women need to be shown affection without it always ending up in sex. Kisses, hugs and cuddles fill a different kind of need than sex.
Interestingly, I dated a woman a few years younger than me and she made it clear she wanted to split the bill b/c she did not want to feel in any way beholden to me and for me to think she owes me any thing. I thought that was very cool.
This video touched on some interesting topics that don't often get talked about. I learned a lot about the female perspective of dating in this video. Recognized some things that I can work on! Great job Courtney!
One thing that wasn't covered in the intimacy area. Just from personal experience, I've noticed a lot of people on dating apps, are there to only get sex. This is both men and women. There should be more talk on the difference between the various forms of intimacy and what to watch out for. It can be very confusing to those who are just starting out that if the person you are interested in is very sexually assertive, this is a major red flag for those who want a serious relationship. Basically, if they are ready to jump in the sack on the first date, they're not looking for a relationship. You could also get caught up with someone who is married looking for some strange.
Married women a far more assertive than I have ever been. In that small group of women who have ever hit on me. I'm figuring out it's the married women who are the ones trying to get back to a hotel or something the fastest.
Last spring when I was at the club bro circling with a few friends I hadn't seen for a while, one sees my Spartan shirt, says “omg which race was this?” as she is feeling up my chest, older than me with an engagement/wedding band set. Her cousin comes by, same setup, this one feels up my top, then into my pants, right there in the middle of hot dog social. I ask if she would like to go somewhere (because I was flattered and I was striking out with all the women I wanted to get to know). Her response was, “normally I would, but that short guy with glasses taking all those drinks to my friend's table is my husband, but will you walk me back to our table.” I was very confused. Went back to talk with my friends and to bitch about the current state of dating, the lady in the group “why don't you just focus on the women that hit on you?...”
Because single, educated, health/fitness enthusiastic, women, who want children someday, never hit on me.
Then again men are not allowed to have preferences, admittedly I screw up there. I've had a few close to the kind of woman I assume would be best for me, but they seem to just want sex and are confused or put off when I note I want a relationship. For some reason, a man that deploys for work can’t want love and affection in his life, when most of his time is spent in a 7 by 10-foot room, waiting for emergencies to happen.
The FREE dating apps, yes, absolutely.
I've heard a lot of great things from people who join a dating network that requires a paid membership. Just like it was before the internet, if you want commitment, you gotta pay for it
Also, more than one woman that I dated for a few months hopped into the sack in the first date. I don't think it's fair to paint people with a broad brush like that. In fact, almost every time I had sexnon the first date the woman was embarrassed and felt like she had to explain that she doesn't normally do that, probably because of social stigma like this attached to the idea of sex on the first date. We're all grown-ups. It's ok to like sex and to want it while simultaneously wanting a relationship
If you are on "dating" apps to find a relationship, you are already doing it wrong.....
As a millennial (I hate saying so), most other millennials are still single is because they don't want or can't handle the accountability or responsibility of relationships. Not mention dating has become so complicated and toxic.
Billy batts the one who got killed by a shoe shiner
Hell this generation struggles with just maintaining FRIENDSHIPS which also require accountability, responsibilty and work. So many perfectly worthwhile friends falling out with each other because no one wants to work to maintain them.
So if society is unhealthy it is no measure of health to be well adjusted, right? For the small part of the good in heart me believe the guys who are single but are able to walk and talk remotely confidently, I’d say the dating world moved to far left and left behind many great men, who, if they push through will be the guys making history. Many, many great minds stayed away from marriage and women. Nikolai Tesla probably being number one. He has a chilling grasp on women, then!
I’d love to meet a lady who saw me. Actually saw me. In a time of such universal deceit us deep feelers are overwhelmed. I have plenty to work on. In a way that’s what I mean by saw. I’m far from perfect
I'm a retired and disabled veteran and my wife went back to work when I got out. So I stayed home and raised 4 of our kids. Did the dishes, laundry, cooked took the kids to their practices and watched all of their games. I got stuff done at home. Huge mistake! Found out my wife thought I was a loser for doing those things and was complaining to people at work about what I did at home. I guess I wasn't the man anymore in her eyes. So I see now some women wants a man to help out at home and when they actually do help, they stab the man in the back! I'm actually setting myself up to leave her. She can go find herself a real man and I can stop wasting my time!
Yup. They want you to work more? Oh he doesn’t spend enough time on me. Want you to be at home more to spend more time on them? Oh he doesn’t work enough, he doesn’t provide, he’s not being a REAL man. Want more attention? Ugh I don’t know why he’s been so clingy lately. Wants more time to themselves? Suddenly they’re insecure about what you’re doing with your own time and wants to control it.
It sucks because you have children together, I wish you the best man. My condolences
First of all don’t believe hearsay. You could be throwing away a marriage because someone may try to hurt your relationship. Be smart. Ask her if she said it.
In my experiences, I seen several cases wherre you SHOULD worry about the guy she tells you to NOT worry about. Especially if she is secretive about him.
100%. Even if she’s not cheating he can very well be her back up guy.
Really appreciate the part about paying for the first date. Know her just a bit before asking on a date and gauge her mannerisms how much she likes you. Impressions count.
Finally someone talking about height preferences. As a guy on the shorter side (not that short, but not tall as well) I don't think women making fun of height is fair. The same way women don't wanna guys to make fun of their small boobs is the same way how guys feel about being short. It's something in our DNA, we can't change that. Even tho girls nowadays can get implants and solve their problem, men can't take magical pills to grow taller. That's why I never had a complex with my height. I can't DO ANYTHING about it. If the woman likes me it's alright - if not, she can find her giant 6'8 prince somewhere else and I could care less.
💪
I agree! It’s not fair to make fun of someone for something they can’t control!
P.S. It’s “couldn’t care less”
Create a "heightism" movement. I agree with the selective unattainable hypocracy. Some Marxists and liberals are running out of causes to continue.
I've had 5 actual relationships in my life, where one week long things are not added. 4 out of 5 times when my girlfriend at the time said "there is no need to worry about that guy" is two weeks later actually the person who she cheated me with. I think I have had just such a bad luck with these things that I could only laugh at those situations. Why? Because it wasn't meant to be and being too serious doesn't help anybody. Am I a bad guy? Definetly not. Just unlucky.
Yep. Most of the times the line has already been crossed once you get the feeling something is not right, trust that instinct and move on fast. My first serious relationship was that way too, had a gut feeling something was not right about another guy she had been out with just once, week or two later you break up and she's instantly going out with the other guy, because something already happened between them while you were still together. There is always a backup.
That’s how it goes in most cases
I don't know about everyone else, but I don't think it's a worthwhile investment to have to pay for a date when she's going on dates with other men with no certainty of it going anywhere. It's simply asking to get used.
Personally, I will only pay for dates once it's exclusive.
How would you know that she is going on other dates? Pretend that you are The Man.
You should only be giving the girl fun, cheap dates in the early non- exclusive phase. If you can’t pay for a latte and a brownie from Starbucks for her on the first date that’s a bit sad. Plus it’s then easy for her to reciprocate, takes the pressure off, and you can concentrate on good conversation.
Jeez... if you're sweating the price of a coffee, or lunch, even -- I don't know what to tell you. Be a gentleman, and pay for rhe date!
@@visaman If you met online then it's 100% certain for sure
That's a good standard to follow
@1:50 Thanks for being honest about this. This is one of the main reasons that a lot of men are getting over women. The constant need for attention is really gross, yet women want to project all the time and call men 'insecure.' It's very immature, and the games that women often play are just not worth putting up with. By 'over,' I'm not referring to matrix pill nonsense at all. I just mean, I, and many other men these days, very rarely 'shoot our shot,' as the kids say. At 37, it's generally not worth my time. When my soulmate appears on the horizon, I will have time for her. I don't have time to give validation to a bunch of insecure 20somethings...particularly when very few of you know your [REDACTED] form a hole in the ground. Yet you think you do, which is supremely annoying. You may be an exception. It used to be that a guy who did not want to date 19-21 year olds like some guys do would date starting at 25. But more and more, it's 28+ for the smart guys in the know. Maybe do a video on that? 25 year olds these days are the equivalent of 20 year olds 10 years ago. A lot of you are devolving in maturity because of social media and dating apps.
@4:13. Nope. You wanted equality, you got it. Go Dutch or go home. Guys, if you're what they consider a high value man, then you make your own rules. If you aren't, then you follow theirs. As a default, though...start with a coffee date. If that's not good enough for her, dead giveaway she's looking for $500 dinner. I take exception to her "mature" dig here. Women wanted to be treated like equals, as they should be. Don't want traditional treatment if you won't make a sandwich now and then. It's hypocrisy, plain and simple. You ladies need to get over this one ASAP. Now, guys, if you're a millionaire, use common sense here. If you're around equal net worth, and she won't pay for anything, she can get her head out of her butt. She is a princess, not a queen. Here's a secret, guys: they poop. And sometimes they get the yeasty beasty. Why are you paying money to spend time with her?
Also what she said about a man doing dishes, laundry, whats sexy about it? Only if you are already married and got her, she will felt the relationship work. But not sexy, is just when you got a girl already, you do that to kinda kept her.
No woman would respect a man who do dishes, nor they will think is sexy. If you are a single man thats it.
@@carlosemiralonso7997 I feel it plays more into love languages since doing a service such as cleaning dishes or playing with the kids is an act of service, which some people find more attractive than others. Personally I prefer to get things done that need to be done both in public and around the house so that would be my love language. I have known women who aren't at all impressed by that and prefer to do things on their own.
@@TheMonacleSpy Actually, beauty on that is in that the love is on the eyes of the beholder.
Agreed. Women make rules for betas and break rules for alphas.
@@carlosemiralonso7997 And there’s actually research on that. If a man does more of the ”traditional women’s” work around the house the sexual attraction fades.
Men aren’t allowed to have preferences because it’s looked at as being “toxic” and “abusive”.
@@LenAnderson856 So, all of them?
Men & women can both have preferences.
The only thing I really love of social media is how women have used them to show their true self. Beautiful.
Honestly for me, all I’d ask for is for a woman to be nice and compassionate (so feminine basically) , maintain a healthy weight, don’t mutilate your body with too many tattoos/piercings or dye your hair an unnatural color, don’t already have kids out of wedlock, and don’t have already given yourself up to Chad after Chad. But unfortunately, all of those preferences nowadays are way too much to ask for in America at least.
The best part about that is, all of those qualities are well within a person’s control, unlike say height for instance.
Lol good luck bro. You're gonna need a time machine and go back to the 1950s to find a woman like that. Being a ho has been the norm for decades now
Let’s be honest, guys, paying for the date is expected. Splitting it or even making a big deal about it can kill your chances with a girl. You got yourself into this situation so deal with it. You can either pay or you’re wasting half your money.
Ladies, we’re not going to let you go shopping and act like you did it for us. Whatever you need to do to make yourself attractive is your responsibility. Chances are high that $200 outfit is going to end up on some other guys floor anyway.
If you are only too willing to pay for the meals, then you are a simp.
You pay for what you eat. Women shouldn't expect free stuff or chivalrous acts from men just because. Where would we be if we kept following unchanging traditions? Gender equality is rising and the women I'm going for are from a country where gender equality is a big deal. Pay for things on her behalf or getting gifts she doesn't ask for early on in the game is a surefire way to lose contact with her. What exactly is wrong with going dutch is we remove chivalry from the question?
if you like her and the date went well of course you should be okay with paying. Some of us men nowadays are so caught in victim mentality. I thought this was common social sense. These streets are full of incels causing their own problems. Sometimes she might even offer to pay if she likes you well enough.
@@umarb7325 I too thought it was common sense lol
@@umarb7325 I feel the same. But like Courtney mentioned, if she's being rude and acting stupid, then of course I would just get up and leave but would pay my half. But if she was decent and kept her end of the date, and I invited her, then I'm paying plain and simple. But there's a balance to it, I wouldn't take her to a $200 dollar dinner unless I've known her for a while and she earned it. Not the first date lol.
The reason is because the average man and average women isn't attractive to the opposite sex. We are all desperately trying to date a select few people and will ride it out alone in our 20s and 30s to find that person.
"When the guy I wouldn't give a chance stops trying"...Bro! This fefail is so wrong that she deserves not to ever get the guy she truly wants.
Yes, you have an incredible way of assessing the male/female balance.
And knowing where the midpoint is. You are lucky to be able to get it so right.
It's so hard not to lean too far one way or another.
You ask about plugging in other views like TikTok. I like it because it broadens your reach and our experience. You put in an awful lot of work to do these presentations so well and so cleverly. So thanks a lot
You deserve it. .
Monkey branching is an issue. For men. It's as bad as cheating. Ladies, Courtney included, just have no idea how bad monkey branching is. Men are hurt by disloyalty no matter how it's manifested: through cheating or through monkey branching.
Googles monkey branching 🤣
It doesn't matter to me
if a woman looks at me as a gentleman
I'm just going to be me
Don't get me wrong I would like a woman to like me
but not for a fantasy
that she can think about me
when it comes to my personality
or my treatment
that I could treat her with
Because I do not owe a woman anything
Also, she doesn't owe me anything
besides me treating her like a human being
That I can choose to show my kindness to her to be on a reasonable level with her
I have had multiple guys do that attention-seeking bs to me. They love knowing a girl likes them, but when it comes time to ask if they want a relationship it’s just “oh no I’m not ready for that”. I’ve learned my lesson and no longer pursue narcissistic people like this.
A lot of good points as usual Courtney, some of these really put the modern dynamic between men and women into perspective🙂
Agree with everything you said, especially the height preference. A girl once told me I was handsome and interesting but that I was not tall enough to take her out on a date. I was like damm that's cold and walked away.
Well done. I have received negative comments on my height and looks. I walked away for good. No point talking to a woman who does not like me at all.
Great content, reasonable, feminine energy and so easy on the eyes 👏👏👏 if I ask a lady out I expect to pay the bill , if the date sucks there won’t be another (learning experience)
I have short listed some points to be taken care of -
1. Poor looks
2. Low self-esteem/confidence
3. Low effort
4. Not interested in relationships
5. Poor flirting skills
6. Introverted
7. Recently broke up
8. Bad experiences from previous relationships
9. No available women in that area
10.shyness
11. Depression, mental health
12.difficulty in finding good women
13.stuck with one woman who is giving mixed feelings
14. Lack of achievements
15.social awkward, poor character
16.sexual issue
17. Fear of rejection
18. Dont know how to start with woman
19. Not picking up clues of interest
20. Lack of humour and pick up lines
21. Anxiety
Short list? That's a laundry list lol
Point taken all the same
Are you me?
Introversion is not something to be fixed. In fact it can't be fixed. (And is also not something you have to, or should fix. It's wonderful) You clearly didn't do your research on that.
@@lexxihd5843 Was going to comment something similar. Too often, people conflate shyness (or some other undesired behavior) and introversion. Not the same at all.
I disagree with number 4, 8,11 and 12... because those are things you can't do it for
Tbh don’t worry if a girl tells you not to worry about a guy if you are noticing red flags. Especially if they drop the “don’t be jealous” line or something similar. A very easy response of “I’m not jealous, or worried about this guy, as I will keep moving forward in my life whether you are in it or not.” Then end the conversation and realize you are probably at the peak of your relationship and the women you are with isn’t wife material.
Paying for the date is out. Sorry, Courtney, you're wrong here. Like most women you're playing both sides to your advantage like most women. They want to be all "girl power", but don't want the responsibility that goes with it. My current and last relationship before her alternated. I'd pay once, then she'd pay. Usually it's whoever's idea that pays, but sometimes we'd pay for something that wasn't our idea, too. If it's not 50/50 she's not worth your time.
ALSO, do you have any idea how many girls will do a coffee date for the first date? I've never met one.
Courtney is not "girl power". She is not a feminist, so she can say that I would like the man to pay for the first date.
Women want equality, only when it is in their favour.
Courtney - you give very wise advise to young men. I wish I had a big sister like you when I was just starting out. It would have saved me from a lot of hurt, anger, and confusion.
Don’t pay for first dates fellas! The difference between guys and girls when going on first dates is that the guy is never going on a first date for attention. Guys are going on first dates because they are into the chick. A lot of the time, women go on first dates because they are attention seeking. They may not be serious about you at all but are just going on the date for free food and to burn some time. Guys should only pay for his women after she gives him what he wants! If she keeps him happy with her actions, that can open up reciprocation. This girl has a lot of good content but she is wrong about this
STOP Doing This! Should be a Sunday series from now on
YES! 😂
Guys your woman tells you not to worry about? As if women make decisions based on firmly held logical reasoning? Don't be silly. A girls attitude toward a specific man can turn on a dime if he happens to find the right emotional trigger.
Something I think would be both informative and interesting would be a discussion of what it means to be feminine and masculine, particularly how different women define being masculine and how different men define being feminine. I think it would be an interesting discussion because what it means to be feminine or masculine seems to be open to interpretation.
I second a discussion like this
As a 16 year old young man
I like how the information that she gives us is showing me that I am on the right path and on the safe side.
I am completely fine paying the bill if she was kind and polite during the date. Even if we don’t end up seeing each other again, if the date went fine I’ll definitely pay the bill.
With regards to physical intimacy : I used to hug and kiss my ex girlfriend quite often without necessarily expecting sex. Sometimes I just wanted to show my affection for her.
There's also NO communication what so Ever , to many Fantasy Expectations too it's Sad
I don’t want a woman who takes 3 hours to get ready for a date. Light makeup ONLY. I have often criticized a woman on crazy or over the top makeup. One of my college degrees is Pro Photography.
I have never criticized my wife’s makeup. She does her’s in a classy and minimalist style.
Seriously, if you have to worry about some guy talking to your girl, best thing you can do is go start a fire outside, throw all of her clothes in it, pack up your stuff and leave and let the new guy deal with her freaking tf out. Punish them both, basically. He wants her? He can deal with all that and take over.
Don't pay for the date, you're setting the expectation for the rest of the dates. If she wants you to pay for the date then she needs to become a girlfriend/wife first.
Are you single now or in relationship?
Makes no sense I mean someone has to pay
@@Mercy1- just pay for your own stuff
I feel like women have an easier time being just friends with men because of what you had mentioned earlier in the video about them just wanting the attention that they get which is why they keep them around, most guys are the opposite in which they usually will pray the sexual desires from a woman to why they stay around or try to get them
14:10 "Who knows!?" That's the most real emotion I have seen from you Courtney!! Keep it up!
I’m incredibly shy, average looking, little chubby, way to into superhero stuff and only make 40k a year. Not really a catch.
Then make yourself one stop being sorry for yourself.
@@sirro4362 Nah I gave up on that front a long time ago.
And your nose runs and your feet smell. 😉
@@visaman Actually…..not far off. Lol
40,000 isn't bad fr
The bill topic to me goes as follows: whoever invited the other out for a date pays for the bill. If you invite a friend out for a drinks casually. You owe them the first round. You made the invite. Show some appreciation for them coming.
I agree; It would be a red flag if a guy invited me out, but wanted to split the bill, while at the same time, if I suggested a place or an activity, I'd feel very odd to let him pay for it. Unless he literally said he'd like to take me out, and inquired after my favourite place or something.
Seriously? You buy your buds beers just for going out. That's silly. If a guy friend asks me to hang out, I NEVER expect him to buy me a beer.
I don't care that I am single at all. I enjoy spending time with myself and friends. I am thankful to that I am sane and healthy. I am thankful to my family. I live in my own appartment and can take care of myself very well.... So I don't question something irrelevant (which is for me). I want a woman who accepts me for who I am and enjoys my company as well as I do hers.
I'd rather be single than to be in a wrong company.
I'd rather be single than to be with a woman who wants me to dress like this, change my face (Beard, eyebrows, nose, whatsoever), have a better job and all that
I want a woman who is able to see the things like I do > Taking care of myself, have a job (being hard-working) and all those standards than mate
surely, I agree with you at some point which are the bad habits that you need to get rid off. I fully agree with it.... but it's not like that I want a woman who tries to change me.
Courtney, even if you ''cringe'' at some comments... perhaps like mines.. you still need to consider that people have a point too because no one wants to have the same in life or in a partner. You can't change your past. You need to move on. What's gone is gone. Focus on the opportunities.
there are few things on the list which I fully disagree because that's something you can't do it for. It's the same contrast as you would be born in a wealthy or broke family which you can't choose since birth. And of course you have very good points needless to say. Just because we critizise some things doesn't mean we don't like you.
When I was married there were two guys she told me not to worry about.. turns out I should have worried. Part of why I'm divorced
From a guy's perspective on the following...
Girl 1. Most girls are a waste of time. Craving that much attention and having dudes be the "fill in guy", you are asking for disaster!
2. I have no issue paying the 1st date, especially if I'm the one that asked. I'm the one that liked her, I'm the one that's pursuing and cares, that's fine!!
3. I've experienced women that has shown me their femininity, especially after I broke down in front of them. One kissed me! I have another girl who I'm emotionally connected to! All of this is 100% true!! Please do a vid on it.
4. So many variables here lol
Re 2 that's why I never invite women out for dinner. If she likes you she'll be perfectly fine with a coffee or just a walk in a park.
Was married, had four kids, we both worked, had plenty of family activities, and of course household chores. Wife told me if you want intimacy at 10pm then I should start getting her ready for it at 10am. with touching kissing quick back rub etc.
@@paweltatar3425 yeah even small things like a walk in the park is fine too! It really depends on what you both prefer on a first date. There's no right or wrong way or a one size fits all way
@@dennydietrich3596 did it work?
Who should pay for the date? "Who's ever idea it was to go on the date." - 50 Cent
Pay for the fist date😂😂😂yah right. “Woman” ruined that. Girls “NEVER” ask Guys on dates so it’s a catch 22 which men end up having to pay. I don’t pay for dates unless the chic is my girl friend.
Yes! Women who feel they can't trust or depend on you, feel they have to be masculine and do it themselves. 💯 true
I don't care if it is mature or "gentlemanly" to foot the bill. You wanted equal rights, you got them. It's DATING, to get to know each other. Not give her free things so she'll like you. Just further procuring toxic female traits. 1st "date" coffee meet, sure; fine.
The fact of the matter that women also generally "date up" in regards to money is toxic AF too.
Also, learn to leave your phone at home unless you want to get walked out on at dinner and footed with the whole bill. As well as your Uber home.
THIS!
When it's from tik tok; I'm never surprised hahaha 😆. There's definitely a lesson to be learned from them tho. I'll never be the attention fill in guy. I would never drag someone on i didn't like for attention. I recently stopped talking to a woman because she tried to keep me chasing her even tho she wasn't trying. Yes guys should pay for the first date. Go places and do things you can afford. I appreciate your advice and how you think in this video for men and women. God bless ♥️
Agreed! If a woman don't want to do something fun and casual and not expensive on a first date, there's another out there who will, and will stick around long enough to connect with you, and then you'll be motivated to treat her well and splash out for future dates & activities.
@@garmisra7841 Big facts! I'm not taking someone i barely know to a lavish dinner date when i barely know her. If things go well overtime; then i don't mind spending some big money on her. Gotta be smart cuz some girls use guys for free dinner dates and validation
@@GEORGIOARCADE Don't take women out on dates. You could take women out on dates before the internet. But with the advent of the internet you are just a option in hundreds of options she has. Take her for a walk in the park or for coffee. Only take her out on a date when she earns it. Courtney wants you to take her out on dates and pay for the first and second date. This simp advice is what hurts men the most. I am tired of this advice.
No male dating coach will tell you to take women out on dates because they know what men have to go through. Only a woman will tell you this because that is what they like to be pursued and paid for. But what they like is not in your best interests, it only validates their ego.
Yo I thought you were sal from impractical jokers
Helping with the kids, doing dishes, etc - those are things that most all of the men in your friend zone do (or would do), and it' not rare. Only that it's not something you find in the type of men most of these women find attractive or that they want to date. It's similar to how many overweight or obese women, won't date an overweight guy. Yes, I've written this comment in a way that it's not all women or all guys. But it certainly is true with many women making these type of posts on Tik tok or IG. It's basically why is the totally hot guy I'm attracted to not doing all these other things? Because many women don't really find those things as "hot" as they say they do. Nice and convenient, etc, sure. But someone they want to hop in bed with? Not really.
I don’t know if this is nuance for anyone, but when I am in relationships and hanging out with my female friends, my heart holds up an emotional barrier to protect my relationship.
"If you like her, then you should court her." And what if she likes me? Sheesh.
Respect is earned it is not given to anyone this is the problem with females because you can be a pleasant human being to be around to have a kind of respect from other people
but when it comes to a relationship
where a female wants to be respected she going to have to put some effort into the relationship just like a man has to do with a woman
The difference is
I think a female is more lazier
in a relationship
then females like to admit
Spot-on again in this video. All of this is great to hear for both men and women. Thanks for sharing with us!
God bless you, Courtney 🙏🏼 Height should not be a preference because it is something you cannot fix (I had a height surgery but got lucky); weight is something you can fix. I also have a thyroid problem and am a trainer - girls want to use the “thyroid” excuse if a woman is overweight - shorter men don’t owe it to women who will not date them to date an overweight girl. They can fast, take methimazole, hit the gym, and change their diet. Of course, it doesn’t work for everyone, but, an overweight woman still has more options than a shorter guy.
To be honest, I myself who learns from people older than me, I see it as lessons. There’s nothing wrong with masculine and feminine energy. Just understand what the person is all about first. It’s the connection that counts. I know some guys don’t say this, but women who play video games, likes comics, and sports, and who knows her value, wants, and needs who motivates others, that’s the women men should pursue. Same thing with men who have confidence and the other traits. That’s the key.
Tbh ur paragraph is spitting truth, me being the nerd that I am, when I start going off about comics, movies, etc I see people’s eyes light up even a girls.. cuz they probly thinking oh wow this big guy is a teddy bear who is also a nerd 😆 they see the passion of nerdy things in our eyes then unbeknownst to us they fall in love with the nerdy life is well, eventually
Moon Knight Facts, bro. Shout out to you.
4:10 nope. Gonna disagree here. Especially if she was rude or dismissive on the date. If you think it’s the “gentlemanly” thing to do for the date it should be the “ladylike” responsibility on her part to at least show me some respect for even taking her on a date to begin with. Times have changed either hold both genders to traditional values or neither of them. No cherry-picking. I won’t mind paying for the first few dates especially if they were my idea and they actually went well, but if she approaches me with an idea to go out or we get further into a relationship you need to start pulling your wait. One thing to be a gentleman another thing to end up being a pushover and setting yourself up to just be a foodie date. Splitting the bill ensures that actually invest themselves into you and if they don’t want to them they can leave, good for me.
As someone who is married and in his thirties, I would appreciate a video on your perspective about a healthy balance between men in a relationship doing masculine and feminine tasks (in the traditional sense) and how women view that balance.
Regarding the "You don't have to worry" one, I think the real problem is that what's happening is women aren't letting go of one branch until they have their hands on the next one. I have seen so many women do this in real life, including women I used to think were good people and respected, but I've never known a man who did this at any point personally. I think it's extremely toxic, disrespectful and trashy behavior. In my opinion, a respectable adult, ends their current relationship, in an upfront manner, as soon as they decide it's what they are going to do, and then spends some time reflecting, healing, being on their own etc, before the even THINK about dating/hooking up with somebody else. It's not just grossly manipulative to the person they are breaking up with, its disrespectful to the next guy in line that she's been setting up, and hanging around after you already know it's over, while setting up the next guy, is the trashiest part. It's betrayal of basic trust and respect.
If a woman breaks up with me but does it in a respectable way like I laid out, then no hard feelings. If things aren't working out, and she's not happy, we clearly shouldn't be together. Hopefully we both find people that are a better fit to us. I wish her well. I might miss her, but that can heal, and at least I can still respect her as a person.
However I had a female friend that I saw pull this and I had to stop being friends with her, because I just completely lost my respect for her, and I can't be friends with someone I can't respect.
I even had a girlfriend do this to me, but the worst part was that she made a mutual friend of ours, Nicole, her confidant for her scheme. She put Nicole into an absolutely horrible position having to keep her secrets when she knew what was really going on. When it all came into the open I could see in Nicole's face just how horrible she felt about it. She was always a kind and compassionate friend who went out of her way to help fer friend, and over the years since then has always been even more so to me, like she felt she needed to make up for the bad karma she had been forced into. That part was what made me the most mad. It was bad enough what my ex did, but to pull a sweet and dear friend into it like that was despicable. The two of them haven't spoken in years, but Nicole always checks in at least every few weeks just to say hi and check in on me, bless her heart.
Sorry to have to say this, but emotional manipulation and treating women like crap is the reason why most men who enjoy short term success with women are able to do so.
I agree that this is type of behavior is abhorrent, but you cannot deny that it works. For us men to watch another guy who is a sleazeball loser that has slept with eight out of the ten most attractive women in the club, while decent guys aren't able to get with any of them should be acknowledged.
This is an area where women are unilaterally responsible for the deterioration of the dating scene. If these sorts of actions didn't work, then men wouldn't employ them. But they DO work, and that leaves the good guys who will treat women well completely out of luck until they do change (for the worse) in order to become more successful with women.
It has always worked, but wasn't always discussed like it is now, especially since it's a main topic in the "manosphere". Just like the F-boys, if they weren't an issue, then they wouldn't be talked about, but since they're always discussed then that means it is obviously working. Of course it's not every woman, but it is a majority of them. I think age has a lot to do with it also, as women get older they're seeking a provider more than a good looking bad boy etc etc. But why should a man be the clean up guy, and take them after they've been used up by the bad boys smh.
Those kind of women aren’t attractive to me. I don’t get why you’re obsessed with someone like that?
Then you should stop being interested in women who only want to be in a relationship by manipulation.
I generally offer to pay, more as a show or masculinity, control and dominance. And if she offers to split, it's a good sign of character.
Last comment of mine will be that- I’ve always had the belief that the way I dress, the responsibilities I take on are mine; and if someone tries to talk to me about them or say I’m good looking because of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay, but it bothers me. Because those are my responsibilities, those are my looks. It’s like a kid on Christmas that gets a toy train, and his friend beside him takes it from him. Same thing with me and my looks and responsibilities, I’m doing this stuff for ME, not you. There’s no superiority or anything, it’s just that these things are personal to me.
I love that you read the TikToks aloud, some youtubers don’t and sometimes the TikToks are hard to read, so thank you!
Thanks Courtney. As a man, generally speaking, best not to be friends with any girl you cannot get or you ain't interested in! Makes life so much simpler and keeps improper temptations at bay.
To me it is more rare to see a woman do housohold chores for her man
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Asap him for recommendation...
Alot of it is Jyst having boundaries and be willing to walk away. My wife and i started talking and shes like "id like to start off as friends and see how it goes" and i flat out said "no" I told her i had enough friends and im trying to DATE you so if you want to go on a date lets meet this weekend and she made the time to meet up with me, we had coffee, hit it off and the rest is history.
I've always paid, opened doors, kept the conversations going, etc... But here I am, single...
"Men who treat women like crap, you're not going to have success with women."
How many passed-over decent men just did a spit-take?
You might be confusing decent with being a "nice guy" or "simp". There is a difference. If I'm wrong, my apologies.
@@chrisd8053 This is a falce dychotomy. If a man is a nice guy, it does not automatically mean that he is a bad guy - it may only mean that he lacked the knowledge.
She wants to be emotionally safe not financially safe. But, the last video (hypergamy) says she wants to be financially safe
Nice contradiction Courtney.
First date vs.marriage
They want both, safety is numero uno with a woman of maturity.
I want to say, I've seen this post go around a lot that says "Disappear for 6 months and work on yourself." It's very true. Take 6 months to develop, care for, and create an isolated routine that is based entirely on building your Best life. Once that becomes a habit, and the thing you enjoy, then go and meet other people. You will be able to read people better Because you understand yourself more, and you will naturally attract to and attract to you, the kinds of people that you would value in your life.
I will always treat the person I’m interested with care and respect. Once, things go south I’ll take a step back.
But women wanna be treated equal. Split the bill or pay it yourself for once. Never have I ever had a women even reach for check, but they wanna request food, drinks and or activity. You want gifts, you want flowers or chocolate. ALL WOMEN WANT MEN TO PAY smfh
This whole traditionalist mindset needs to go once and for all. Courtney seems to talk mostly about her own experience and maybe her friends even though we tend to choose friends similar to us in some way. If this is the majority of American girls then I'm glad I'm not going for them. The women I'm going for are from a country where gender equality is a big deal. According to a native friend of mine, the women are not as demanding as what's exemplified here. They're also fun-loving but responsible when it comes to work and stuff which I dig. I also like how casual they and don't expect a lot of stereotypical, fancy, romantic gestures and are honestly not the biggest fans of chivalry as they want to be seen as equal.
Height preference is fine, but when it's a standard or requirement then it's an issue. Just know that when you overvalue a rare feature that they can't control, you're giving those people all the choices. When people have choices and options, then you better be your best because why would they choose you.
You seem like a genuinely good person, but I don't think you fully understand what women emotionally respond to. When we treat girls nice, reply to their messages, care, don't cheat, what do we get? Ghosted, friend zoned, women think if you don't have 10 girls in inbox that you are a low value and that's how they treat you. No wonder more and more men are getting out of dating scene or they are turning into jerks because they get the girls and respect. I can tell as a former nice guy it sucks being a nice guy and my dating life got so much better since I started putting myself first
such a good video, i agree with everything you said Courtney. happy i found this vid :)