I wonder how many men vs women watched this video. 😢 It feels like the wife/gf are trying and trying but the husband/bf don’t even want to acknowledge anything
My husband is leaving me and divorcing me because his mother wounds are so deep that he refuses to even acknowledge that he even has these wounds and has convinced himself that I'm the cause of all of his inner turmoil. Sir , EVERY WORD i just listened to describes the hell I'm experiencing. I'm absolutely devastated because until he acknowledges the real issues, that inner turmoil he's holding me accountable for will never go away, even when I do
I’ve been hurting my wife for 25 years because of this wound and also a father wound. Everything you said is spot on. Bought your father wound online course. Gold! Keep up the good work! This is a global problem and you are helping solve it head on. Very timely. We appreciate you, and your wisdom.
I literally cried, i don't know what to say i have a lot to say but i was raise by a single mother and i had to live with my aunt from 5-11 years. I still remember how much i cried for my mom, i didn't had a father figure in my life so i still don't know how handle fights, shouting or being ridiculed or judged. I'm very very sensitive to attachments and I'm very very scared of commitments, i had 2 relationship recently and i was cheated in 1 relationship and in another relationship she was head over heels for me but i was scared what my mom will tell, if she knew I'm in a relationship.(i come from typical Indian muslim family). So its a shame to have relationship. I don't have hobbies, likes, friends, relationship, enemies. Nothing. And I'm very scared to achieve good thing or earn more money. I want to fix my life. I'm doing little by little by self to heal my self. Just writing here to feel light in my chest.
@bealright1186 thank you for sharing, sounds like you are beginning the journey of healing, that’s going to allow you to help others too who had a similar experience. Just take it one day at a time. We have to remember our parents only did what their capacity and understanding allowed, but now you can break that cycle and heal for future generations to come. Way to go , you can be a trailblazer
I understand all of it and want to work it out. But that person refuse and get onto new relationship. Just because you can understand and be compassionate towards them, doesn’t mean you have to endure the dysfunctionality
This is true :) There comes a point where you have done all you can. As I said, if he is not willing to improve, there can be no healthy relationship ❤
I loved him so much and he did try so hard to be vulnerable and available and we navigated it so well initially but he eventually sabotaged everything as I unconsciously triggered him and it’s sad. I’ll probably always care about him but I’m scared he’ll randomly pull away again which is so painful because I’m so triggered by abandonment. He’s a beautiful soul and I hope he finds peace but I don’t think it can be me though.
One has to learn to cope with pain, period. Being enmeshed with one person for too long is the problem. The most healthy of people I see have a variety of people around them in their circle. A support system that has a positive influence, so when there is a problem, one can work it out. Or have the space and time to work it through. The worst person to be around is the self righteous critical one that refuses to self evaluate or offer assistance to others in need. Absolutely. One must not be the doormat to another. Always know your self worth! And absolutely have boundaries.😊
100% SPOT ON! Thank you for sharing. Now the biggest challenge is: How to make him raise his awareness to this, when he believes that all his anger, resentment and frustration is caused by me, his girlfriend and thinks that introducing him this idea would be an act of manipulation? Another question I have is, why do they show attentive care and compassion to all other women friends or acquaintances outside of the relationship, while being closed down and guarded inside of the relationship?
I wish I could send my ex to you. Not for the relationship. He needs to heal for the next person. Otherwise these type of people keep spreading their wounds like contagious disease
Thank you for talking about narcissism in such a compassionate way. I hope many people see this and feel worthy of healing. Right now it seems nearly everyone wants to label their exes as narcissists. I met with someone recently and she said the guy she’s dating is a narcissist. I didn’t want to discount her pain, but I did say you can have narcissistic traits without having NPD and it’s probably from trauma. It makes me so sad that people with trauma end up being completely vilified as a lost cause. They didn’t ask to be traumatized. The world definitely needs more compassion. Thank you!! 🙌
Thanks for this, totally true. But as I said, it takes a lot of inner work to develop TRUE, gentle, loving compassion for all. I am on the journey like everyone else 🙏🏽❤️🌎
Have you ever been in a relationship with a REAL narcissist? I guess not. I'm kinda feeling sorry for my ex, very abusive ex, who had no problems leaving his own children (our son, and 2 girls from his relationship years ago) behind.and just moving on like they never existed. To say the least. I know he must have been hurt when he was a child and a teenager. Badly injured. But at the same time when I think about how he was treating me, I wanna send him straight to hell.
I'm the mom who never knew how to love my sons. My dad was abusive and never loved himself, either... my sons are in their 40s. My husband was also treated as a military child. Broken and defensive. All I can do is cry.
You can’t change the past and you didn’t know better but you can be vulnerable with them, apologize and explain that to them. An apology from the parent is healing for the child. Speaking from personal experience.
Thank you for sharing this valuable knowledge Ehsun! Sometimes i wonder ! Is there anyone emotionally healthy anymore? I mean, all i see around is wounded men n women! I just want the whole humanity to heal including myself
Thank you for appreciating. To be honest, humanity has been living in survival mode for thousands of year. So it makes sense why very little of us are currently emotionally healthy. It will take time ❤
I was exactly like this. My mom left me and my two older sisters with my abusive biological father for a year and a half. My sisters had fend for ourselves as he was rarely home. I was 5 at the time. Fast forwards, my step father abused her, she left us again with my abusive stepfather. I was 14. I grew up with women so acting out as a man was not condoned. And i recently realized this after my last relationship where my ex even told me she was acting as my mother. I struggled to act out emotionally out of fear of emotional rejetion. I struggled to be there for her when she needed me emotionally. I miss her so much and she had every right to leave..
This is the best authentic video i have ever seen. I don't feel so alone hearing this video. I pray that things will start to change between my mom and I.
This was my dad .And later found this kind of men.But i learnd.And i heald myself. I Become addicted too this.But no more ever.When this comes i get sick in my body.And this was my mothers husband and other man.So i saw what it did to my mother.This become me and my grandmother to please when he was mean.
Thank you so much for this video! It brought so much insight into the inner struggles of my partner and the reasons of our conflicts. If brought a lot of insights to me as well, because it applies to what I have experienced in my life. I am so grateful that you are sharing this information, because it is so hard to discover what is truly going on inside us. I am really looking forward to your next videos about the father wound and the mother wound in women.
This was an amazing piece. Completely informative. I have been trying to understand some seemingly disconnected actions from someone I care about great deal about. This untangled so much of it. Your ability to explain the complexities of the soul is truly a great gift. Thank you.
You...Are...Brilliant. The way you explained this is so simple yet deep enough to open up and uncover much unawareness. I'm truly grateful. Thank you so much.
Coming out of a 6 year relationship with someone with CPTS, DID, as well as complex bodily challenges. My inability to do this level of work made everything worse & we both suffered due to it. We both did our work as hard as we had the capacity for but it eventually was too overwhelming and we, for both of our own mother/father wounds, needed independence in order to focus on solely that. The trauma bonding wasn’t going to sustain us or give us a stable foundation. The clarity of this is amazing, thank you so much. I wish I could have come across it 4 years ago - but such as it is. I am grateful to be doing the work now. * I am also finding Alexander Lowen’s work very very helpful! The book “Fear of Life”. In the introduction alone he articulates the neurotic nature of our culture in a profound way.
Thank you ehsun for the awareness you brought into me while I was in confused state about the term narcissistic personality disorder. Now I got clear idea about the past childhood trauma is the factor of everything 🙏
It absolutely is, in terms of explaining one's behaviour. But the other factor is, are they now open to growing? This is a pivotal factor for people's relationships
Thank you for such a informative video❣️ which it was made sooner, totally could’ve used this information when I was with my ex. It’s so hard to see someone hurt and not knowing how to help 😢
Thank you. Very good and comprehensive explanation. And I appreciate your compassion and calm. Would love to hear your take on the golden child dynamics. How a glorified, pampered boy may be traumatised, have low self-esteem (as his true self was never seen / wanted etc.) and become a narcissist as adult. Glorification of sons (in certain countries / cultures like India) often results in their self-entitlement and really toxic relationship behaviour...
Thank you for sharing all your wisdom. I’ve learned so much! I would love to do one on one with you. I’m feeling so disconnected from husband. Like I’m just here, stay at home mom, taking care of kids and house. And he has no need to be loved or feel connected. So I feel like I’m with holding love to give and am not receiving connection from him. He’s very successful self employed, very drive and disciplined man.
Thank you for sharing this. My one to one work has closed for now. But I would love to see you (and perhaps your husband if he is open to it) inside of the new Peace Program starting in June ☺
Simple and well explained Thankyou..a dismissive avoidant I met def had this. Makes sense. Just wondering Could you maybe come closer or have brighter lighting? Just helps to connect. Thanks again
Im going through this with my mom. I talk to her daily. I love my mom. Its very painful these terrible fights we get into. I feel deep pain. It hurts me so much. I feel sad, not good enough, unloved. My heart is broken. Yes im not adequate. My mom is very critical. I have grown so much too. I even lost 225lbs and maintaining for 15yrs now. So I get confused why can't I get past this? I have done deep inner work around this for years now.
He can’t see it. He refuses counseling or anything similar. His behavior is unpredictable and he projects it all on me. His perception is king for him.
I wonder how many men vs women watched this video. 😢 It feels like the wife/gf are trying and trying but the husband/bf don’t even want to acknowledge anything
This was the hardest relationship of my life.
My husband is leaving me and divorcing me because his mother wounds are so deep that he refuses to even acknowledge that he even has these wounds and has convinced himself that I'm the cause of all of his inner turmoil. Sir , EVERY WORD i just listened to describes the hell I'm experiencing. I'm absolutely devastated because until he acknowledges the real issues, that inner turmoil he's holding me accountable for will never go away, even when I do
Same here. I told him boldly that he always wears a mask and that I am constantly searching him.
I’ve been hurting my wife for 25 years because of this wound and also a father wound. Everything you said is spot on. Bought your father wound online course. Gold! Keep up the good work! This is a global problem and you are helping solve it head on. Very timely. We appreciate you, and your wisdom.
I literally cried, i don't know what to say i have a lot to say but i was raise by a single mother and i had to live with my aunt from 5-11 years. I still remember how much i cried for my mom, i didn't had a father figure in my life so i still don't know how handle fights, shouting or being ridiculed or judged. I'm very very sensitive to attachments and I'm very very scared of commitments, i had 2 relationship recently and i was cheated in 1 relationship and in another relationship she was head over heels for me but i was scared what my mom will tell, if she knew I'm in a relationship.(i come from typical Indian muslim family). So its a shame to have relationship. I don't have hobbies, likes, friends, relationship, enemies. Nothing. And I'm very scared to achieve good thing or earn more money. I want to fix my life. I'm doing little by little by self to heal my self. Just writing here to feel light in my chest.
@bealright1186 thank you for sharing, sounds like you are beginning the journey of healing, that’s going to allow you to help others too who had a similar experience. Just take it one day at a time. We have to remember our parents only did what their capacity and understanding allowed, but now you can break that cycle and heal for future generations to come. Way to go , you can be a trailblazer
I understand all of it and want to work it out. But that person refuse and get onto new relationship. Just because you can understand and be compassionate towards them, doesn’t mean you have to endure the dysfunctionality
This is true :) There comes a point where you have done all you can. As I said, if he is not willing to improve, there can be no healthy relationship ❤
I loved him so much and he did try so hard to be vulnerable and available and we navigated it so well initially but he eventually sabotaged everything as I unconsciously triggered him and it’s sad. I’ll probably always care about him but I’m scared he’ll randomly pull away again which is so painful because I’m so triggered by abandonment.
He’s a beautiful soul and I hope he finds peace but I don’t think it can be me though.
This is totally me without me ever realizing it. Thank you my good sir.
You just described my boyfriend 100%
I hope you’ve left him? This describes my husband 100% and divorce is a lot harder than a break up
Mine too.
One has to learn to cope with pain, period. Being enmeshed with one person for too long is the problem. The most healthy of people I see have a variety of people around them in their circle. A support system that has a positive influence, so when there is a problem, one can work it out. Or have the space and time to work it through. The worst person to be around is the self righteous critical one that refuses to self evaluate or offer assistance to others in need. Absolutely. One must not be the doormat to another. Always know your self worth! And absolutely have boundaries.😊
The way you explain is spot on!! Hope all broken hearts heel 💔
100% SPOT ON! Thank you for sharing. Now the biggest challenge is: How to make him raise his awareness to this, when he believes that all his anger, resentment and frustration is caused by me, his girlfriend and thinks that introducing him this idea would be an act of manipulation?
Another question I have is, why do they show attentive care and compassion to all other women friends or acquaintances outside of the relationship, while being closed down and guarded inside of the relationship?
I wish I could send my ex to you. Not for the relationship. He needs to heal for the next person. Otherwise these type of people keep spreading their wounds like contagious disease
Thank you for talking about narcissism in such a compassionate way. I hope many people see this and feel worthy of healing. Right now it seems nearly everyone wants to label their exes as narcissists. I met with someone recently and she said the guy she’s dating is a narcissist. I didn’t want to discount her pain, but I did say you can have narcissistic traits without having NPD and it’s probably from trauma. It makes me so sad that people with trauma end up being completely vilified as a lost cause. They didn’t ask to be traumatized. The world definitely needs more compassion. Thank you!! 🙌
Thanks for this, totally true. But as I said, it takes a lot of inner work to develop TRUE, gentle, loving compassion for all. I am on the journey like everyone else 🙏🏽❤️🌎
Have you ever been in a relationship with a REAL narcissist? I guess not.
I'm kinda feeling sorry for my ex, very abusive ex, who had no problems leaving his own children (our son, and 2 girls from his relationship years ago) behind.and just moving on like they never existed. To say the least.
I know he must have been hurt when he was a child and a teenager. Badly injured. But at the same time when I think about how he was treating me, I wanna send him straight to hell.
He again projected his mother on my.
I don't take that anymore.
I'm the mom who never knew how to love my sons. My dad was abusive and never loved himself, either... my sons are in their 40s. My husband was also treated as a military child. Broken and defensive. All I can do is cry.
I hear you. You are a beautiful human being.
You can’t change the past and you didn’t know better but you can be vulnerable with them, apologize and explain that to them.
An apology from the parent is healing for the child. Speaking from personal experience.
Sadly I have a big mother wound and have hurt my girlfriend greatly
My Dad always scoffed at my career ideas as a kid. I self loathed for a long time
Thank you for sharing this valuable knowledge Ehsun! Sometimes i wonder ! Is there anyone emotionally healthy anymore? I mean, all i see around is wounded men n women! I just want the whole humanity to heal including myself
Thank you for appreciating. To be honest, humanity has been living in survival mode for thousands of year. So it makes sense why very little of us are currently emotionally healthy. It will take time ❤
And that's exactly how my dad used to behave. He had both mother and father wound.
Thank you for sharing that
I was exactly like this. My mom left me and my two older sisters with my abusive biological father for a year and a half. My sisters had fend for ourselves as he was rarely home. I was 5 at the time. Fast forwards, my step father abused her, she left us again with my abusive stepfather. I was 14. I grew up with women so acting out as a man was not condoned. And i recently realized this after my last relationship where my ex even told me she was acting as my mother. I struggled to act out emotionally out of fear of emotional rejetion. I struggled to be there for her when she needed me emotionally. I miss her so much and she had every right to leave..
This is the best authentic video i have ever seen. I don't feel so alone hearing this video. I pray that things will start to change between my mom and I.
thanks for taking time to create this type of content!!! it's helpful for many of us navigating our own/others trauma 🙂☯️
❤
It's so hard to stay. I am a wife that has wounds too. I try to be better and not stay in victim mode.
Thank you this is an excellent video for both sides to listen and think about.
This was my dad .And later found this kind of men.But i learnd.And i heald myself. I Become addicted too this.But no more ever.When this comes i get sick in my body.And this was my mothers husband and other man.So i saw what it did to my mother.This become me and my grandmother to please when he was mean.
Unbelievable how straight to the point and pertinent this video is !! First time I see this channel 🎉🎉🎉 cudos .. bravo !
Thank you so much for this video! It brought so much insight into the inner struggles of my partner and the reasons of our conflicts. If brought a lot of insights to me as well, because it applies to what I have experienced in my life. I am so grateful that you are sharing this information, because it is so hard to discover what is truly going on inside us. I am really looking forward to your next videos about the father wound and the mother wound in women.
This was an amazing piece. Completely informative. I have been trying to understand some seemingly disconnected actions from someone I care about great deal about. This untangled so much of it. Your ability to explain the complexities of the soul is truly a great gift. Thank you.
You...Are...Brilliant. The way you explained this is so simple yet deep enough to open up and uncover much unawareness. I'm truly grateful. Thank you so much.
Golden knowledge ✨️ 💛 Much gratitude ✨️
Thank you for this video.A lot of key lightbulb type moments.Your insights and perspective are really inspiring and helpful
Thank you so much for answering your calling ❤
Coming out of a 6 year relationship with someone with CPTS, DID, as well as complex bodily challenges.
My inability to do this level of work made everything worse & we both suffered due to it.
We both did our work as hard as we had the capacity for but it eventually was too overwhelming and we, for both of our own mother/father wounds, needed independence in order to focus on solely that. The trauma bonding wasn’t going to sustain us or give us a stable foundation.
The clarity of this is amazing, thank you so much.
I wish I could have come across it 4 years ago - but such as it is.
I am grateful to be doing the work now.
* I am also finding Alexander Lowen’s work very very helpful!
The book “Fear of Life”. In the introduction alone he articulates the neurotic nature of our culture in a profound way.
Thank you ehsun for the awareness you brought into me while I was in confused state about the term narcissistic personality disorder. Now I got clear idea about the past childhood trauma is the factor of everything 🙏
It absolutely is, in terms of explaining one's behaviour. But the other factor is, are they now open to growing? This is a pivotal factor for people's relationships
Hello brother, so here we are ur followers from instagram 🙏🥰
❤
I watch your shorts on Facebook/ instagram and you are incredible at explaining everything so well and spot on. ❤
Thank you for your appreciation ❤
Thank you for such a informative video❣️ which it was made sooner, totally could’ve used this information when I was with my ex. It’s so hard to see someone hurt and not knowing how to help 😢
Thank you for appreciating 🙂All happens in divine timing so don't worry. It will make sense soon enough
My God this is very, very good. Thank you for this video so much, God bless you 🙏
Thank you for this amazing video
Wow. So well explained.
Thank you. Very good and comprehensive explanation. And I appreciate your compassion and calm. Would love to hear your take on the golden child dynamics. How a glorified, pampered boy may be traumatised, have low self-esteem (as his true self was never seen / wanted etc.) and become a narcissist as adult. Glorification of sons (in certain countries / cultures like India) often results in their self-entitlement and really toxic relationship behaviour...
Nice video! Keep 'em coming!
Wow. What a great vlog. Thank you for all the explanations!
Thank you for sharing all your wisdom. I’ve learned so much! I would love to do one on one with you. I’m feeling so disconnected from husband. Like I’m just here, stay at home mom, taking care of kids and house. And he has no need to be loved or feel connected. So I feel like I’m with holding love to give and am not receiving connection from him. He’s very successful self employed, very drive and disciplined man.
Thank you for sharing this. My one to one work has closed for now. But I would love to see you (and perhaps your husband if he is open to it) inside of the new Peace Program starting in June ☺
Simple and well explained Thankyou..a dismissive avoidant I met def had this. Makes sense. Just wondering Could you maybe come closer or have brighter lighting? Just helps to connect. Thanks again
Salam from Morocco ❤️
Thanks man
He would be pissed if I shared this video with him. He’s rejected all videos I’ve shared
great video ! can you please make a video about father wound in men ?
Im going through this with my mom. I talk to her daily. I love my mom. Its very painful these terrible fights we get into. I feel deep pain. It hurts me so much. I feel sad, not good enough, unloved. My heart is broken. Yes im not adequate. My mom is very critical. I have grown so much too. I even lost 225lbs and maintaining for 15yrs now. So I get confused why can't I get past this? I have done deep inner work around this for years now.
Please do father wounds for both too and mother wounds for women. 🙏
He can’t see it. He refuses counseling or anything similar. His behavior is unpredictable and he projects it all on me. His perception is king for him.
❤❤❤
Can you make also long video for father wound in men
My Ex is a Narcissist because of this
How can i get my husband to acknowledge these wounds?
How do you get someone to understand this wo getting defensive
You leave !
My X
💯
🙏🏽
Solution then @@ehsunanwar
100%