My favorite part of science is the rotation of the Earth. It really makes my day! My least favorite part is atoms. I just can't trust them. They make up everything!
I once wanted to go to the Laughlin casinos on the Colorado river. Google was my guide. A town nearby is named "Needles". Siri kept pronouncing it "needless", and we got a kick out of it. Shortly before reaching that town, we discovered that Google had routed us thirty miles out of our way. Yes, going through Needles was needless.
We tried to step up the milking process, but the cows didn't like it. It was udderly disappointing. (got that one from a brit actor visiting my pub a couple years ago)
I heard there's a RUclips channel that's going to address transgenders in the military. I hear they're going to call it Gillies gone wild😂. Is there waiting for DOD I don't understand why they haven't got the channel up yet. Slightly verbose I hope people find that very amusing. Thank you all for your service in the military❤🇺🇸💯 Keeping the humor in it LOL 😆
People ask me why I like these corny dad jokes and I just hold out my arms and say hey, look at this I am the living corny dad joke. Just axe my wifie.
Dog limped into the Saloon,a Colt Peacemaker on his collar. Hopped up on a barstool, sat like a good dog. Barkeep asked "what'll have?". Dog said, "nothing! I'm looking for the fella who shot my paw!" Family can be odd like that and hold a grudge.
@@Brad-.-.-.-.howitzer Lake Tahoe is amazing. The water is so clear you can see down forever into it. But the last time I was there the sunset made every thing pink colored. Surreal but so real you might say. wonderful
I sent a text message to my wife telling: "i'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, please read that message again"
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm straight up stealing this and plan on sending it to my wife.
Nice!
Have you heard the joke about the bed? No? Well that's because it hasn't been made yet.
My wife is worried because she thinks I'm addicted to brake fluid, but that's ridiculous.
I can stop any time I want.
I got a new car for the wife. Best swap i ever made
Hahahahaha!!!
Legend
I got a fortune cookie with no paper in it. It was unfortunate.
On March 14, "Pi Day". I was going to joke about the area of a circle. But I didn't, because puns about π r².
That's pretty good lol
Epic geek joke. Adding that feather to my cap lol
Nope. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.
@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ your mom. I realize that my comment doesn't really fit here. Do you?
You guys are two f n funny thanks for the laughs !!
My favorite part of science is the rotation of the Earth. It really makes my day!
My least favorite part is atoms. I just can't trust them. They make up everything!
That was the only shih-tzu joke that ever made me laugh.
You hear about the scarecrow that won an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
A raven lunatic
You know the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One’s a superhero. The other is a simple command
Although when you think about, Ironman is actually Fe male
😅
Iron balls, duh
😄HA!
Watch out for that flying iron, man!
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, but I quit cold turkey
What type of music are balloons afraid of?........Pop music 😎
Needles to say...
Whereas insects aren't very fond of dubstep.
New York, London, Paris, Munich
All balloons are scared of
Pop Music
I'd be careful with hard rock too
When does a joke become a dad joke??? When it's fully groan.
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Why a bike can't stand on its own
Because its too tired.
Or "Two Tired"
Why did the tire get fired from his job cause he couldn’t handle the pressure lol 😂
Good one.
@@bocajrs7628 thank you so much bocajrs7628
I find that answer deflating 😅
That was because he was constantly Under-pressure...
Its where the rubber meets hit the road.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
I see you around...
I'll see you around...
I thought this is what it was going to be!
Triangle and circle…. “I’ll see you around the corner.”
If you make another breakfast pun, you’re TOAST 🍞 😅😂🤣
Did you hear about the skunk that showed up in church?
It sat in it's own pew...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
And so am I
Will you express what balloons are most afraid of? No. Needles to say.
I once wanted to go to the Laughlin casinos on the Colorado river. Google was my guide. A town nearby is named "Needles". Siri kept pronouncing it "needless", and we got a kick out of it. Shortly before reaching that town, we discovered that Google had routed us thirty miles out of our way. Yes, going through Needles was needless.
nice
What do you call a deer without eyes?
...no idear...
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Ahhh I do love a good Dad joke, delivered well.
Especially from tiktok style videos. As we all know it's a rare medium that's done well.
@@mkvv56877 months later and I'm surprised that nobody has applauded your comment about medium well done rare
@@mkvv5687👏
The shih tzu got me. 🤣🤣🤣
😂 got me too.
Please explain it to me 😢
@@Mourne84
It was a _sh*t zoo_
Because it only had one animal.
@@valiantwarrior4517 lol thx
What's the best selling dog at the pet store? .............
......The Hot Dog........
Those crazy gold sunglasses tho!!
That zoo joke 💀💀💀
Yep, it's the best:)!
thought the triangle would have said you been around to the circle
Always the best groner Dad jokes.
My wife told me I need to grow past Dad jokes… apparently we aren’t groan out of it cuz she’s still 5’1” and I’m still 6’2”.
@@brodiwheeler7583 Ask her again in the moanin
@@arightscepter Nice 👍🏼
I traveled with a Rock Band and Waitresses would save Customer Mis Steaks for Us ..Free Meat when You are in a Bar Band is Good Stuff!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
“f’shhhh”
What's the difference between a wife and a battery?
A battery has a positive side...
😂 😂
This legendary men will be first ballot Dad jokes hall of fame members.
I like the way the seasons change and they are just there as if nothing happening
We tried to step up the milking process, but the cows didn't like it. It was udderly disappointing.
(got that one from a brit actor visiting my pub a couple years ago)
Hey Gutnarm where are you located
Yeah... I think you're milking it too...
@@nobody7817 you can add me up to
Jesus loves you so much
Ba da boom, a classic.
Love isn't a quantity is is or it isn't
now thats the best joke ever
What's the difference between an outlaw and a Mother in Law? The outlaw's wanted.
A circle has an infinite amount of sides / points so that little triangle can go eat some humble pie 😂
I thought a circle only had two sides.
Inside and outside@@waynemiller6070
@@waynemiller6070
Yup, inside and outside.
What did the triangle say to the rectangle?
"You're too square".
This channel is life
Daaaang!
😂😂😂😂 these dad jokes are hilarious……
C'mon those are classics!
Someone just stole all my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy.
I heard there's a RUclips channel that's going to address transgenders in the military. I hear they're going to call it Gillies gone wild😂.
Is there waiting for DOD I don't understand why they haven't got the channel up yet.
Slightly verbose I hope people find that very amusing.
Thank you all for your service in the military❤🇺🇸💯
Keeping the humor in it LOL 😆
Why was i dead silent until the zoo joke?
We didn't hear it was an issue
Because that’s actually a pretty good joke
New stuff guys! Come on 🎶
Did you hear what the sheep asked the llama?
Are ewe gnu here?
@@nobody7817 Wool you tell that to anyone?
@@arightscepter Sheepishly I reply: "Are ewe kidding me?"
@@nobody7817 yay. Baaafulling skill
"I haven't talked to my wife in seven years." Too funny.
The triangle said the same thing men should say about marrying woman.
There is no point.
I thought it was going to be “ I’ll see you around “lol
As a dad I don't condone this kind of behaviour
😂😂😂
i’ll step back
Love u guys😂
Loved this. Subscribed 😊
That face visor.
What!?! No more breakfast puns?!?!
That's just WAFFLE!!
Breakfast jokes always need to be re-hashed!
Sausage life
dang I'm getting better at this
Eggzackly
Anyone who don't like breakfast puns can "kiss my grits !!"
People ask me why I like these corny dad jokes and I just hold out my arms and say hey, look at this I am the living corny dad joke. Just axe my wifie.
Where did that vintage 7-11 hat come from? Bonus points for that!
“Hair loss” really😂😂😂
I know a guy who had his almost his entire right calf bit off by a shark. I call him Calf and a half. That isn’t a joke, it’s true.
Boooooo!
Brilliant!
What exactly are you guys drinking out of those cups anyways?
Dog limped into the Saloon,a Colt Peacemaker on his collar. Hopped up on a barstool, sat like a good dog. Barkeep asked "what'll have?". Dog said, "nothing! I'm looking for the fella who shot my paw!" Family can be odd like that and hold a grudge.
Don't let your dad keep egging on. Try bacon instead
Yes but when you cross a bulldog with a shih tzu you get a bullshit.
Ok I’ll show myself out the door…
Boom Tish. Don’t let the door slam you on the ass on your way out……..
Why do you guys always have snow in your coffee mugs?
Where can I get those mugs? AND, you guys are so funny 😂
The zoo was best.
We’re these filmed at Coulter Bay, Jackson Lake, WY… ???
I think it was lake Tahoe
@@Brad-.-.-.-.howitzer Lake Tahoe is amazing. The water is so clear you can see down forever into it. But the last time I was there the sunset made every thing pink colored. Surreal but so real you might say. wonderful
Sherlock - do you mean to tell me he broke in using a piece of fruit?
A lemon entry my dear Watson.
Best joke Ive heard in years!!! Must save that one!!
The zoo 🤣
Only Liked the dog one.
aww
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂
😐
😂😂😂😂😂😂
What did the cirlce say to the rectangle..
I can run rings around you.
I couldn't get the balding joke ... someone explain plz
Hair loss - "her" loss
@@mlg1279 ohh thanks🙂🙂
Hear about the american who lost a leg while trying to take a photo of a crocodile? …. It was not the Snap he was looking for …..
In Australia we have crocodile meat. I said to a guy, give me a croc sandwich and make it snappy.
What did the NY grenade say when it went off? Aight, so boom
Idk but y’all need to actually make some funny dad jokes
imung lobot jon ,pointless?😂😂palobot lang dha kay ganahan man ka patunga😂😂
I'll say
Took my car into the shop. I didn't think I could afford to fix everything. But when I found out I could retire with my savings, I got exhaused too.
I'ma need some jokes related to bud lite, while you're drinking bud lite - please
ima guess they wanna stay away from that one
@@mkvv5687 that's gay
@@robtathome rimshot
"Hey bro, I got some bud light me up?!"
I only have the punchline, you complete it. Here goes:
Then the proctologist said "no, nurse, not a Bud Lite, a Butt Light"
You know how they say, two wrongs don't make a right?
But three lefts do. 😁🤣
THAT joke is just one angle short of being square...
I use that one all the time.
One good turn deserves a another and another. Then you can face it
Bullwinkle Moose best delivered that joke