No is a complete sentence and a sacred word. Self-care is a priority. Since Covid I have realized how much I enjoy being alone. I like the peace of my home.
I'm w/you....say NO to holidays...I'm 84 and have 3 cats..living alone...not a assisted living...spend 4x a week working out..studying Buddhism...learning from you how to cook...I'm w/you and Frankie!
Hi brother. My son asked me to Thanksgiving at his roommates parent’s house and I said no he was bummed but understood, my wife/life partner of 42 years died 12 months ago then her service dog…my baby died a month ago. This month is the anniversary of her death, 3 days later her birthday then the holidays. I adopted a vegan lifestyle 7 months ago and I’ve never looked back! I understand exactly how you feel and I for one needed to hear everything you just said! Thank You!
I just met a man yesterday whose story is so similar to yours. Loss of a loved one is so heart-wrenching that it defies words. Wishing you as much comfort as possible at this time and know that you're not alone.
My heart goes out to you. My friend. Know that you are not alone. And thank you so much chef, I really enjoy your content and your Frankie.. You have a great energy about you 💫
I love to go to sleep with my hand on my heart softening and opening it and do lovingkindness. Sends you off to a lovely sleep. I bought a necklace that says "SOLITUDE" because I"m house bound due to a health issue and a natural introvert. I can yak but I need much recharge time. An extrovert would be crushed by it, but my spiritual house is deeply in order
My husband passed away 19 years ago and I never thought about finding a new companion. Although you are much younger, you are wise beyond your years. You shared exactly how I feel which I guess confirms that I “am okay”. After my last dog died, it hurt so much that I never rescued another one. Miss America has me rethinking the possibility. Enjoy your quiet holiday. Peace.
When I lost my last dog, it broke my heart so bad and never thought of rescuing another. It took me over 2 years and one day I was out on a hike and missed my 4 legged companion and went and rescued another. It was hard at first, wondering if I could love him as much as my last. I am so glad that I went out and rescued another. I think you owe it to yourself to look for another companion. ❤
It took me a couple months after my service dog Jessie died, but I was at the end of my rope about to let go, so I got another, which was the only way to truly heal - Jessie would have wanted me to, she was my guardian angel.
I have crow buddies. Some people consider them trash birds but to me they're beautiful and they keep me company and I appreciate that... Not everyone enjoys parties and gatherings.. and that's okay.
@@Cmyst123 Crows around here actively avoid people, so it took months for me to get them to trust me. Now they even bring their offspring to meet me :D 1) Find a place where crows hang out 2) bring something they like, like unsalted peanuts 3) leave them on the ground (crows are suspicious of elevated places) 4) don't look at them directly, they know where your eyes point at and never make a throwing motion at them (even if you're throwing food) 4) back off and leave a healthy distance between you and the treats.. 5) repeat regularly.. They recognize peoples' faces so it doesn't matter if you wear different clothes etc. You'll probably gain their trust slowly but your mileage may vary :) @lauraz8359 is right, I've seen incredible displays of intelligence and playfulness during the years I've been around them. And yeah they keep me company / hang around even when they're not even interested in food.
I’ve always had a hard time accepting the fact that I don’t like the holidays. It was so comforting to listen to your video today. I’m getting much better saying no in my 50’s. Thank you. 🙏
Derek, your heartfelt messages and sincerity on this channel make WAAAY more of an impact than some dude with a presentation and a laser pointer. So looking forward to following you and Frankie on your adventures.
Seeing Frankie brought tears to my eyes. I lost my dog, Brenda, just 13 days ago, and she was my everything-my Miss Universe. Watching the bond you share with Frankie reminded me of the special connection I had with Brenda. Our pets truly become family, and the love they give us is unmatched. Wishing you both many more beautiful moments together. Sending love and comfort as I remember my sweet Brenda
I am truly sorry for your loss. I felt, mostly, stunned despair for the first year. Slightly better the second year. It becomes a part of who you are eventually.
The older I got the easier the word NO has became. My dog was put to sleep on 5th November and this Christmas will be harder being on my own without him but it's my choice. I am also medically gluten free as well as vegan and boy people don't like it. Take care of you and Frankie. Thank you for all your free content. Very much appreciated.
Introverts who love animals & refuse to eat them - I’ve found my people! Have a wonderful time basking in glorious solitude, good peeps (and those who can’t escape the social obligations - you have my empathy). ❤
Beautiful message. Since I lost my husband to suicide 10years ago I have found joy and refuge in solitude. Your message resonates deeply with me. Be at peace, you are loved . Thank you ❤
It absolutely is okay to be alone and set boundaries. Just a small farm with my rescued friends and I wouldn’t change a thing. No matter what, I’m not ever going to use my body as a cemetery for dead animals that profit hideously cruel corporations! Just NO! I truly love the world of incredible food that opens up when you take animals out of the kitchen! Have incredible kind holidays everyone, and give Ms Frankie a huge snuggle from me. I’m thankful for all you do for the animals every day, all year long with your platform and skills.
I’m with you. I absolutely love my solitude. Loneliness is just a feeling but it’s usually an untrue thought as nothing beats peace and serenity. Nothing beats being in my peaceful space. I don’t desire being around many and celebrating a holiday. I don’t enjoy conversations with people I haven’t seen in a while that are pointless and just to pass time. I look forward to holiday for the reason that I get to stay home and do what I like. I value kindness and peace over all else. I’m so grateful for the ability to do this and to garden, cuddle with all the rescue chickens that reside in the garden and just looking at all the beautiful trees ❤❤❤❤. Above all I’m grateful for finding meditation and vipassana. And ofcourse very grateful for your videos and cooking tips!
For the Star Wars geeks. I heard a line the other day ~ not everyone has to be a Jedi warrior in the fight. Everyone has their place. Just like It's A Wonderful Life ~ we'll never really know how many lives we touch just by being kind and doing the right thing. I'll never cook like you. But I get SO much out of the creative process which you bring to the table. Thank you for being you.
I’ve been vegan for 8 years. I’ve been saying no for 8 years. I cook my meals at home. Restaurants in my small town Canada have no vegan options. I don’t consider French fries and salad a vegan option. As I get older the more I enjoy being alone. It’s definitely better for everyone’s mental well being to say no. ✌🏻❤️🇨🇦
I went to my aunt’s 90th bday in Detroit a few weeks ago - drove 12 hours in each direction. So glad I went… precious few of my family are still alive. Lunch was at a seafood place I used to love - and I had a salad and fries LOL. Left there and got carryout at a lovely Thai place that does a fabulous pad thai with tofu. And when I got home 3 days later, made a glorious vegan burrito bowl with my hubs. Grateful that the salad and fries are always an option and feeling your pain. Peace to you, Canadian friend!! ❤🇨🇦♥️
Hi Derek, I am profoundly grateful for this message. My rescue dog and cat are my partners and I cherish solitude with them. Am almost 70 and live alone. Thank you for seeing people like us who need to be alone with our animals cooking vegetarian walking in nature in each moment over the holidays.❤
This is the best you tube video EVER -every single sentence resonated with me - I live alone with my two beautiful cats - they are my soul mates - I have children who are happy and settled - stay being you Derek - much love to you and Miss America xx
I get you. As I get older, I too find it more difficult to communicate without feeling awkward. Nor do I feel the need to talk about things. I need my me- time and lots of it. My dogs passed away a long time ago, so now I just care for the wild birds that visit my balcony. They don't pay any attention to me whatsoever, but it makes me happy to know they're taken care of. I'm so happy we have people like you, Derek and Frankie! ❤
I’m am living your exact life. For years I don’t celebrate holidays- I celebrate the food! Ha ha. When I moved to Florida I purposely vowed not to make friends, cuz I’m a loner. I ENJOY being home with my dog. Art, cooking and sometimes just watching the clouds for hours!!!! Your videos and recipes are amazing. I have been no-ing for years. And my life is happy!
Christmas is just a no from me too, I've reached the stage in my life where I don't want to feel alone in a crowd, to feel awkward and out of place with others, my good place is at home with my animals, my art and my country walks, warm fire and good vegan food. Knowing, setting and sticking to boundaries is hard work but gets easier as you go along. Nice shirt by the way.
You are an amazing human. I come to this space because you're you, and not those others with charts, graphs, and public speaking. As a fellow introvert who craves alone time, I am looking forward to following your quiet journey.
I came for the vegan recipes and I'm staying for the Dharma and Heart you share. Thank you, lovely soul and Happy Day! Sending love to you and your beautiful pup. OmManiPemeHum 💖🙏🏼💖
I ❤ your show! As a plant-based chaplain who helps people navigate through the choppy waters of grief this video speaks to me. All your videos speak volumes when you comment about switching to plants as your dog looks soulfully into the camera. Recently I authored a pain management book and 50% of the books’ proceeds are donated to animal rescue organizations to celebrate the healing bond between humans and animals.
I laughed when I saw ”I’ll give you something to cry about”. It reminded me of my dad. He would say that to us when we were young. Thanks for reminding me I’m really OK when I want to be alone.
It's been ten years since my husband died, haven't dated once, and have fallen in love with living alone - with my dog Todd. My kids are grown and married, I won't have any grandchildren, and I know how proud he would be of how I carried on without him. I can still picture him beaming with pride, telling everyone in the grocery store line about all I've accomplished.
Thanks for being so open. I completely resonate about wanting to be alone and spend the holidays alone. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't want to be surrounded by people, especially at the holidays. And for sure my need to be alone has increased as I've gotten older. I love spending Thanksgiving relaxing at home with my dog 🙂
I always disliked the holidays, found them exhausting. I was either at gatherings I didn't want to go to, or battling the people holding them, lol. Moving 2,000 miles away, I spent my first holidays solo...oh my god, it was AMAZING! Quiet streets, cozy, candlelit movies with hot chocolate in bed, sleeping in, no plans at all...I never looked back. That was 24 years ago.
I hear you. I am not a fan of the holidays either. I am the youngest of them all, most of them are gone. I recharge my batteries when I am alone. I have my dog also. Every time I go to some event with people, it sucks my energy trying to engage with them. I love them, but it can be overwhelming. I too felt guilty, but no more. Love your channel, stay cool my friend. 😊
Derek, I am a pet sitter and holidays are spent with all the animals all the visits sleeping at someone else’s house and I am so OK with that! Animals are so much better than people💙
Gosh, this really resonates with me. I lost my partner just over 6 weeks ago, completely unexpected and a total shock. We have a chocolate Labrador who provides so much comfort, unconditional love and support. In turn, I spoil and love her as much as possible. Christmas is going to be difficult. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Bless you 🙏🏼⚡❤️🐕🌹
I haven’t celebrated the holidays in over a decade. The peace of spending this time either alone taking a walk, reading and reflecting means so much more for me and feeds my soul. Setting boundaries with each passing year has been an abundant blessing. Sending hugs and love to Frankie from California .
Thank you so much, Derek, for helping me with accepting my own aloneness One of my major comforts is making delicious vegan food for myself. Isn't is amazing that a person in San Francisco can feel such support from a person in the uk through a video you took the time to make and I took the time to watch. Thank you for sharing your heart. 💖✨
I totally agree. I lost my husband 5 years ago and I also enjoy being alone with my little dog. After all the "noise" of life before, it is now so wonderful to just be alone.
Life is too short to fake living it. Anxiety is out of my life since I stopped pleasing people with my behavior and choices. I don't have a fake permanent smile anymore, I set boundaries, I say "no". People are puzzled. It's a solitary life, and you get used to it. I'd rather be alone and calm, than together and anxious. I don't need to meet anybody expectations anymore, I don't have to justify my private life choices, I am not analyzed under a microscope for the sake of gossip. I don't have pets anymore, but I have always priorized their happiness to everything else, and I don't regret it one bit. I don't have relatives, so my holidays are alone-time, and that's ok, I feel comfortable. Good memories will always stay with me, as well as the loved ones in my heart.
Your cooking videos gave me a new way of eating and thinking. I am one year out of a major battle with cancer. I was looking to change my diet and stumbled upon your videos. I have cooked many of your recipes for friends and family. Please keep cooking and sharing positive vibes, they are touching people that need them. Thanks, Noland
Wonderful share! 💜 Alone time is The BEST!! And it's important to know and respect yourself and your needs. Miss America is a reflection of You. She's a great Being because you take such amazing care of her. I love all of this post! Your honesty is wonderful. Your videos are always a highlight in my day. Keep on keeping on D! Hi Frankie!!
I feel 100% the same!! I thrive in situations with less humans and more animals. 💖And I've also been saying no more and more without worrying. Thank you for saying this . I'm always feeling it and not many understand.
I get it, 100%. I agree with enjoying my own company, my cat's company, and not having to explain anything to anyone. I love being alone on the holidays. Take good care, and thank you for everything that you do. I really think Frankie needs to look into into stand up comedy. I see it as her forte.
Animals make life so much better. Every day after work I get so excited to come through the door to see my 2 girls happy faces. My dogs are always in a good mood
Hey-just want to say that I too have 'opted out' of family gatherings for many reasons. Such a stress relief. I absolutely and completely understand what you are saying and I applaud you for taking a stand and stating it outright! It IS ok. By the way, I've learned sooo much from you and beg of you, don't go changing a thing about your style. Your vibe is legit and Frankie is precious. Much love and respect. (This is the first and only comment that I have ever made anywhere, but I felt compelled by the thoughts you shared) Thanks for being so real and down to earth. Wishing a continuous flow of blessings for you both.
It could have been me speaking these words. I have been a foster for several animal rescues for about 40 years, have taken in hurt or orphaned squirrels and birds etc, do not eat animals since about 6 years old, and truly prefer being with them than being at social gatherings or even just with family. My true friends have been so since my early teens, and each day I wake with much gratitude. I am grateful too for finding your channel here on RUclips. I prepared your tempeh and veg meal right after it aired, and found it PERFECT except that while it says it feeds 6, I ate 1/2 nyself, and had to force myself to deliver the rest to a neighbor.. Your gentleness is an inspiration.
Thank you for this deeply felt message, Derek. Being alone when needed is not being 'lonely' and saying 'no' is a personal gift to our well-being. Miss Frankie is a treasure on your journey and I wish you much ease with the home sale and eventual move back to the US. Looking forward to more delicious, wonderful videos! ☺
Thank you for voicing this. I go to holiday gatherings because I enjoy seeing my grandkids, but it's incredibly anxiety-inducing. My sons know that I will stay as long as I can and when I leave after only a little while, it isn't because I'm angry. I just have limited emotional resources. I hope your life settles down soon. Kiss Frankie for me!
Dude, you do you! It has taken ten years and medication to help even a little with my own loss, I am so very sorry for your hurt. Frankie needs a cookie. Love and peace to you and yours.
It's actually really nice to hear this sentiment. I have estranged myself as much as possible from my family due to how toxic, transphobic, and terrible they are. I don't feel guilty about it at all. I can still feel love and compassion for family and still know it is best to not associate with them.
Thank you for your babbling.. you're so special !.. I'm totally blessed by the fact that you can just be you !.. thank you for your example, it matters.
Absolutely right on !! Don't care about what others think what you should do!!! I agree 100 percent in everything you say!!! Freedom is true freedom!!! Be proud of the YOU!!!
Bless you, and thank you. Christmas has been hard for me since I was sixteen and my parents sent me away because I was doing stupid shit, and honestly I'd do that shit again if it kept me from becoming my parents. But it's been hard. Kudos on you for watching your grandmother cooking and following in her footsteps. So many women labor to make these holidays bright, and never get recoginized. The men loosen their belts and watch football while the women clean up the mess from the cooking they did and the eating everyone did. Kudos on you for recognizing what a joy and gift it is to cook and share a good meal.
Wise words, thank you. I've been subscribed for several years now and it has been a pleasure watching this channel grow and see a bit more of your (and Frankie's!) life. You guys truly deserve all this success! Excited for van life!
Hey Dharma brother. Many years in practicing on my own,less and less poeple and family. First year and first time in my life saying no to christmas gatherings. Hope to be able to cook a nice meal just for myself from your recipes and not ruin it😂.. and send boddhicitta to all living beings and of course to you and Missy 🙏🪷☀️🌙🌈💜 Love and light ✨️
I like your rants and Ms. America’s comments really add humor to taking ourselves too seriously while also caring for ourselves. I can fully relate. What you do with your channel is what I relate to more than any other social media. We should all be more like dogs.
You speak from the heart and there is no better way of communication. I too said “no” this holiday. Most of how I feel, you have already said. When I was forty, my marriage ended. I was a single mom with two children and my Dad. Holidays were difficult. Trying to act normal when life has turned upside down was exhausting and more emotional than I care to admit. Now, two decades later, I prefer more quiet time as well. I’m a spiritual person, so most holidays don’t hold any real significance anymore. I am grateful for those I love.
I am blessed that both of my sisters are very supportive of my No Food With a Face lifestyle. That being said, the people around them are not always so kind. But, the day that you don't stand up for who you are and who you can be is the day that you give it all away.
I just lost my sweet puppy and thought I can never have another. But seeing your dogs eyes I feel there is a way to love again. I will sit with my grief for now, but not forever. Thanks for showing me that.😊
Gray and rainy and cold here in Oregon, too. Hoping for some sun later this week. Holidays are so much pressure, I'm glad you shared this. Enjoy your time to yourself. As Ruth Krauss wrote, "Everybody should be quiet near a little stream and listen."
I loved this video. You speak with such honesty that it wakes up stuff in my brain and it is uplifting for me. I think that you are a rather rare human being who has done a lot of inner work and you have a lot to share. I wish you and Frankie good luck in your next adventures. Thank you for all you do for us.
If you don't have a companion animal to shower you with their unconditional love, please consider adopting a dog or cat from a local rescue or animal shelter. Or even foster so they don't have to spend the holidays in a cage in a noisy shelter. It's heartbreaking to know that healthy, adoptable animals in U.S. shelters are euthanized simply to make room for more animals to take their place. There are all kinds of breeds available, you just have to look. Puppies are available too. You might have to drive a distance to find what age/breed you're looking for. But it's so worth it. Your new best friend will be forever grateful to you for saving his/her life. 🐾❤
Since my mother’s passing about a year ago I have been on the go, taking care of business. December will be mine, living alone, telling everyone “thanks, but no”.
I have been basting in fresh grief. It was just a few weeks before Thanksgiving that I lost my mother. She was the rock and heart of my world. Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. The last few years, I worked very hard to make sure that it was always wonderful for her. I was torn between honoring her with another wonderful Thanksgiving or just wanting everyone to leave me alone and keep my head under the covers. I'm also an 80s latchkey kid, and I require lots of alone time to recharge my battery. I also like quiet. I can go several days and not turn on the television. I often leave my cell phone at random places because I did not grow up having to have this thing strapped to me all the time. To me it feels like a burden. It feels like stress. Email feels like stress. I truly was meant to live in a nice little hobbit cabin Earthship home, growing my own food, preserving my own food, making my own clothes and living a very quiet life that walks gently upon the earth. Not many folks want to walk down that kind of path with you. Especially, when it involves a composting toilet. Lol! Cest la vie. I am trying to give myself permission to walk only to the beat of my own drum . You bring me joy when I get to see you and your pup. If you struggle to present and to make these videos, ( and I don't see that but I validate that that's your feelings ) I have only ever seen it as a testimony to your uniqueness, and as charming. I truly am sorry for your broken heart. Grief is a terrible knife in the spirit. I would rather be home with an animal who loves me than in a room full of people where I continually feel more and more alone. I'm just some sort of old cave troll, and too much for most to handle. And I find most others too much for me to handle. True story. I just wanted you to know someone else gets it and I appreciate you. Thank you for being you. I really dig you just the way you are and I hope you never change.
My east-coast daughter is spending Thanksgiving "four days alone with [her] cats." Meanwhile, I'm having my first fully plant-based Thanksgiving and am excited to be cooking up a storm for the locals here in the Midwest! Keep speaking your truth and I look forward to what you offer in the New Year.
When my husband died aged 42, I also avoided family gatherings. I prefer my own company now, and that was 23 years ago this December. Sadly I had to say goodbye to my precious companion Weimaraner Misty 2 years ago which has made another hole in my heart . 💚🌱
Thanks Derek, your videos always make me smile. Two cats looked after me through the grief process, 17 years ago. Also made it easier to say a high quality no!
I lost my mum to cancer last month. I could really do without Christmas this year. I need to be there for my brother and neices though. It will be great, but not right without mum. Sending you all the best this holiday season ❤️
It's depressing everywhere nowadays. People's anxiety is palpable in the 'air'. Take good care as you do when cooking and caring for animals at the same time.👍💚
I appreciate your frankness. And your Frankie Miss America. I live alone happy as can be. Lacto-vegetarian for 23 years. I'll be doing all the cooking for 2 friends and me at my place. I enjoy it. Preparing the food, setting the ambiance. Wish I had your cooking chops. Grateful for your channel. It inspires me. 🙏🏻🌞
There is so much pressure at Christmas time to be part of this joyous family event. I’ve been like a lot of.. well mainly women.. the centre of this for many years. You feel responsible for everyone having a good time, it’s exhausting and stressful. Now my children have grown up and left home. And bless them I think they now realise, how difficult it can be. I’m so grateful to them, for simply not wanting a big fuss, we’ve all been so open and honest with each other, and all appreciate having our quiet time, and being able to say no. I am lucky too as they are not materialistic kids either, so no one expects anything. This year, we are just having a homemade Christmas hat competition, no presents, I feel so relaxed about everything this year! And it’s perfectly ok. I watch all the busyness and panic of Christmas around me, and let it wash over me, it feels great. I think Christmas changes as you get older, and especially when you lose someone who was always a big part of your life. It’s never been the same since I lost my mum, and then my mother in law last year, just before Christmas. We will eat together, but everyone is contributing their time, or their cooking skills…and we are all vegan, including partners! I hope you enjoy your peaceful holiday, and thank you for all your amazing recipes. Love to Frankie x 🌱
We share a lot in common. I’m an almost-retired-veterinarian and feel the same way about my own animals. The ability to shower another living being with love is one of the most amazing reasons for being alive. I love how you treat your dog. Thank you for this video.
I am also no fan of the holidays. I just don't like them. My husband and I with our furbabies are a complete unit. We love being just us. Thank you for this.
Being …. just Being comes with getting older. Sitting with your thoughts and being in the moment is an incredible space. It takes practice to get there but when you do oh my life is richer and fuller even when alone. Saying no is part of being so cheers to NO and love to you and Frankie 🤗🤗
You are a breath of fresh air in a sea of fake influencers. Thank you for being you and for allowing us to take a small glimpse into your life. Having been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease a year and a half ago I now know that putting myself first is the most important thing that I can do going forward. Self-care is my number one goal these days. After a lifetime of putting others first, I am now dedicating a part of each day to me. Daily. Sadly, I had to learn that the hard way.
I 100% agree with this. The older I get, and I’m pretty old, the less I want to be around people and noise and debate and just want to spend my remaining time with my Self. I have a like-minded partner and our Thanksgiving will be quiet and peaceful and delicious - my tofu mushroom soup with garlic bread and pumpkin muffins for dessert.
I've lived alone with my dogs and my horse for 20+ years and that's how I like it. I love my friends but I truly enjoy hanging out with my one remaining dawg. My fam is in Britain, I'm in CO. Everyone feels sorry for me that I'm alone but it's by choice. I love it. Tomorrow I'm cooking myself a beefless wellington with all the trimmings. Yay for me!! Frankie's comments are hysterical by the way 😄 Have a beautiful, peaceful Thursday.
I hear ya! 👍 After my last relationship ended nine years ago, which ran for about 20 years, I had been in serious relationships for about 27 years. So after the last one ended, a little voice in my head said to myself, "You need to be on your own for a while." After the depression, sadness, fear, loneliness, and overall ick of the break-up slowly started fading away, I found that, to my most pleasant surprise, I really came to enjoy being on my own. Now, I thoroughly embrace it as a way of life. I love, love, LOVE the solo lifestyle. 😃
love every word you said ❤Our society is sick. There is a lack of love in the world. Thank you for this moment of heartfelt sharing ❤🙏 "The more I know people, the more I love animals"
I love seeing you dote on sweet Frankie--she is a lucky girl. My greatest joy is spoiling each of my foster dogs (even though it is so very hard to say goodbye when they find their forever home). They give to me so much more than I could ever give to them which is more than I can say for most humans.
My husband always says, “An invitation is not an obligation.” This Thanksgiving we’ve declined several dinner invitations and opted for a quiet holiday for two with our three pups. No clue what’s on our menu… lol… but that’s okay - I’ll just wing it. Something simple, warm and comforting, I suspect. It’s more about having a quiet, low key Thanksgiving, for once. We’ll raise our glasses to you and your gorgeous Frankie. Take care. Peace.
I got my very first dog when I was in my 40's and I had never had my heart opened like I had when I was with her. She was my bestie and I miss her every day. And for holidays, I've sat out my share of family gatherings and it was glorious. 🥰
6 minutes, 20 seconds.... not near long enough! 🙂I would have listened to you & Frankie chat for at least an hour. ❤ I was in tears, but not the kind I cried steady for years when the love of my life passed on 12 years ago, at 50. They were tears of understanding, and agreeing with every word you were saying. But intermingled with the tears, I was loving your sweet Frankie with laughing out loud, which is much too rare for me.😂My sweet German Shepherd, Jessie Girl, with me for 15 years, passed away just over a year ago.❤ This was so good for me. Thank you for what you do. It's a blessing to be loved & to love. I wish you the Very Best of All Things💫 Doreen
Enjoy yourself, with your precious furry friends 🙏💙🎉 Thank you for sharing your wisdom, great cooking techniques, yummy food, and especially Frankie (I love your girl, Frankie, and her sassy comments 😍🐕)
Thanks for creating this community! It reinforces my feelings and beliefs, makes me trust in humanity again, and just warms my cockles. Happy Holidays everyone!
Derek, this is my favorite video yet! Perfection. So deeply honest and like having a heartfelt conversation with a dear friend. Never compare yourself with others- you are perfect as you are. Don't worry about output- stay on Derek time. That's what we love about you- you keep it real. So refreshing to hear you relating your holiday thoughts and makes me feel like less of a freak. Things are definitely not the same as when we were kids and yes we all need to give ourselves permission to say No. This was truly beautiful. Keep being you pouring your heart out. Love to you and Frankie❤❤❤
Derek, let's run away together to the Caribbean where it's warm and sunny and fresh food grows everywhere all year and there's even seaweed to experiment cooking with. I'm quiet too and can't cook at all so all I need is a bedroom and bathroom, you can have the rest. LOL! I suppose our dogs would need to get along... Oh wait, this is a NO video. LOL! Apparently I need to read the room better. "This is a NO for me" .... I can hear it now. HAHAHA! Just teasing. The real message is this: I hope you and Frankie have a lovely day tomorrow in quiet reflection, gratitude and joyful cooking. Peace, love, and truth. ~J.
I really feel what you’re saying Derek, thanks for being so open and honest, the subject really resonated with me. Frankie is lush, dog friends are the best, no second guessing with them 🥰
It has made all the sense in the world. I don’t enjoy the holiday time except to give my daughter gifts on Christmas. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I feel less alone (though I was still going to say no to the holidays invites anyway). Truly appreciated. You speak quite well, by the way.
No is a complete sentence and a sacred word. Self-care is a priority. Since Covid I have realized how much I enjoy being alone. I like the peace of my home.
Ditto!
Same for us. My boyfriend and myaelf with our doggo are complete. Walks in forest are everything to us. People are less and less attractive.
@@doreenbowens437 right? I find I am more and more happy to stay home.
Think you.... spot on accurate
So very heartfelt and true. How wonderful this world would be if everyone was so in touch with their feelings.
I'm w/you....say NO to holidays...I'm 84 and have 3 cats..living alone...not a assisted living...spend 4x a week working out..studying Buddhism...learning from you how to cook...I'm w/you and Frankie!
totally unnecessary to skip holidays with family.
@@standingbear998 Do you think nobody has an abusive, toxic family?
Excellent! I love this so much. ❤
@standingbear998 it's totally necessary to follow ones own truth❤
Your dog’s “remarks” are everything 😂
She is always whispering her sassy sweet comments x
Where’s my violin - haha
@@DerekSarnoChef Frankie
Yes show us the rash. I’m sure I could suggest the right cream 😂
@@JW-mg1sk she is a goddess lol
Hi brother. My son asked me to Thanksgiving at his roommates parent’s house and I said no he was bummed but understood, my wife/life partner of 42 years died 12 months ago then her service dog…my baby died a month ago. This month is the anniversary of her death, 3 days later her birthday then the holidays. I adopted a vegan lifestyle 7 months ago and I’ve never looked back! I understand exactly how you feel and I for one needed to hear everything you just said! Thank You!
Bless you
I just met a man yesterday whose story is so similar to yours.
Loss of a loved one is so heart-wrenching that it defies words.
Wishing you as much comfort as possible at this time and know that you're not alone.
Michael - I'm sorry for your loss. I pray you find inner peace during this time of grieving.
My heart goes out to you. My friend. Know that you are not alone. And thank you so much chef, I really enjoy your content and your Frankie.. You have a great energy about you 💫
I’m so sorry for your losses💔 You are going so well ❤️🩹
May you be safe from harm
May you be happy and peaceful
May you be strong and healthy
May all beings have ease
Beautiful response.
I love to go to sleep with my hand on my heart softening and opening it and do lovingkindness. Sends you off to a lovely sleep.
I bought a necklace that says "SOLITUDE" because I"m house bound due to a health issue and a natural introvert. I can yak but I need much recharge time. An extrovert would be crushed by it, but my spiritual house is deeply in order
Thanks so much for your inspiring comments and suggestions. You certainly know how to slow down and live. Thanks for sharing, Edward Henderson
AMEN
My husband passed away 19 years ago and I never thought about finding a new companion. Although you are much younger, you are wise beyond your years. You shared exactly how I feel which I guess confirms that I “am okay”. After my last dog died, it hurt so much that I never rescued another one. Miss America has me rethinking the possibility. Enjoy your quiet holiday. Peace.
When I lost my last dog, it broke my heart so bad and never thought of rescuing another. It took me over 2 years and one day I was out on a hike and missed my 4 legged companion and went and rescued another. It was hard at first, wondering if I could love him as much as my last. I am so glad that I went out and rescued another. I think you owe it to yourself to look for another companion. ❤
@@Nicole-ld1zy Luckily there is no limit on the amount of love our hearts can give.
@@Nicole-ld1zy I find myself making excuses why I should not rescue another one. Thank you for your encouraging words.
It took me a couple months after my service dog Jessie died, but I was at the end of my rope about to let go, so I got another, which was the only way to truly heal - Jessie would have wanted me to, she was my guardian angel.
@@11235Aodhyou just have to be mindful of the exploiters ..
mindfully direct that energy where it’s needed .
Your sincere, authentic self in this age of plastic and pretense is a healing refreshing balm. Thank you
Well said.. exactly
I have crow buddies. Some people consider them trash birds but to me they're beautiful and they keep me company and I appreciate that... Not everyone enjoys parties and gatherings.. and that's okay.
Crows are incredible and smart! There's a wonderful documentary about them on the PBS show Nature. :)
I agree, crows are awesome!
I am actively TRYING to get a crow friend.
@@Cmyst123 Crows around here actively avoid people, so it took months for me to get them to trust me. Now they even bring their offspring to meet me :D
1) Find a place where crows hang out 2) bring something they like, like unsalted peanuts 3) leave them on the ground (crows are suspicious of elevated places) 4) don't look at them directly, they know where your eyes point at and never make a throwing motion at them (even if you're throwing food) 4) back off and leave a healthy distance between you and the treats.. 5) repeat regularly.. They recognize peoples' faces so it doesn't matter if you wear different clothes etc. You'll probably gain their trust slowly but your mileage may vary :)
@lauraz8359 is right, I've seen incredible displays of intelligence and playfulness during the years I've been around them. And yeah they keep me company / hang around even when they're not even interested in food.
@@Cmyst123 Just show them kindness and they will befriend you. xx
JUST BE YOU because we like that.
I’ve always had a hard time accepting the fact that I don’t like the holidays. It was so comforting to listen to your video today. I’m getting much better saying no in my 50’s. Thank you. 🙏
Derek, your heartfelt messages and sincerity on this channel make WAAAY more of an impact than some dude with a presentation and a laser pointer. So looking forward to following you and Frankie on your adventures.
I'm grateful that you are in my life, Derek Sarno! You speak my language, you touch my soul. Go forth and be at peace. Namasté!
♥♥♥
Absolutely! ❤❤❤
Seeing Frankie brought tears to my eyes. I lost my dog, Brenda, just 13 days ago, and she was my everything-my Miss Universe. Watching the bond you share with Frankie reminded me of the special connection I had with Brenda. Our pets truly become family, and the love they give us is unmatched. Wishing you both many more beautiful moments together. Sending love and comfort as I remember my sweet Brenda
I think about this often and am grateful. the worst things about our animals friends is having to say goodbye. xo
Thinking of you my dear, ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️love and hugs from Australia.
Being there for them in the end is the final gift we give them. Be good to yourself for as long as you need.
Sending you comfort and cyber hugs. I know your pain. 🙏💕🐾
I am truly sorry for your loss. I felt, mostly, stunned despair for the first year. Slightly better the second year. It becomes a part of who you are eventually.
The older I got the easier the word NO has became. My dog was put to sleep on 5th November and this Christmas will be harder being on my own without him but it's my choice. I am also medically gluten free as well as vegan and boy people don't like it. Take care of you and Frankie. Thank you for all your free content. Very much appreciated.
Introverts who love animals & refuse to eat them - I’ve found my people! Have a wonderful time basking in glorious solitude, good peeps (and those who can’t escape the social obligations - you have my empathy). ❤
Blessings to you 🙏💕🐾
We need some sort of introvert club for those of us who don't eat animals and are introverts ❤
@@TJ-kz1ulYes!! I would like to join that club! 🤗
Yes! Same here!!!!!
Me too! 🎉
Beautiful message. Since I lost my husband to suicide 10years ago I have found joy and refuge in solitude. Your message resonates deeply with me. Be at peace, you are loved . Thank you ❤
It absolutely is okay to be alone and set boundaries. Just a small farm with my rescued friends and I wouldn’t change a thing. No matter what, I’m not ever going to use my body as a cemetery for dead animals that profit hideously cruel corporations! Just NO! I truly love the world of incredible food that opens up when you take animals out of the kitchen!
Have incredible kind holidays everyone, and give Ms Frankie a huge snuggle from me. I’m thankful for all you do for the animals every day, all year long with your platform and skills.
❤❤❤ ditto
Well put!
Well said!
Wow! Well said. Warmest regards to you. 🌷
I’m with you. I absolutely love my solitude. Loneliness is just a feeling but it’s usually an untrue thought as nothing beats peace and serenity. Nothing beats being in my peaceful space. I don’t desire being around many and celebrating a holiday. I don’t enjoy conversations with people I haven’t seen in a while that are pointless and just to pass time. I look forward to holiday for the reason that I get to stay home and do what I like. I value kindness and peace over all else. I’m so grateful for the ability to do this and to garden, cuddle with all the rescue chickens that reside in the garden and just looking at all the beautiful trees ❤❤❤❤. Above all I’m grateful for finding meditation and vipassana. And ofcourse very grateful for your videos and cooking tips!
For the Star Wars geeks. I heard a line the other day ~ not everyone has to be a Jedi warrior in the fight. Everyone has their place. Just like It's A Wonderful Life ~ we'll never really know how many lives we touch just by being kind and doing the right thing. I'll never cook like you. But I get SO much out of the creative process which you bring to the table. Thank you for being you.
I’ve been vegan for 8 years. I’ve been saying no for 8 years. I cook my meals at home. Restaurants in my small town Canada have no vegan options. I don’t consider French fries and salad a vegan option. As I get older the more I enjoy being alone. It’s definitely better for everyone’s mental well being to say no. ✌🏻❤️🇨🇦
I went to my aunt’s 90th bday in Detroit a few weeks ago - drove 12 hours in each direction. So glad I went… precious few of my family are still alive. Lunch was at a seafood place I used to love - and I had a salad and fries LOL. Left there and got carryout at a lovely Thai place that does a fabulous pad thai with tofu. And when I got home 3 days later, made a glorious vegan burrito bowl with my hubs. Grateful that the salad and fries are always an option and feeling your pain. Peace to you, Canadian friend!! ❤🇨🇦♥️
Hi Derek, I am profoundly grateful for this message. My rescue dog and cat are my partners and I cherish solitude with them. Am almost 70 and live alone. Thank you for seeing people like us who need to be alone with our animals cooking vegetarian walking in nature in each moment over the holidays.❤
Happy holidays to you and your two friends!
@@behemoth5344Thank you!❤
Yes!!!
66 and alone.
Agree 1000%. I guess I'm not the only one like this!!!😊😉
This is the best you tube video EVER -every single sentence resonated with me - I live alone with my two beautiful cats - they are my soul mates - I have children who are happy and settled - stay being you Derek - much love to you and Miss America xx
I get you. As I get older, I too find it more difficult to communicate without feeling awkward. Nor do I feel the need to talk about things. I need my me- time and lots of it. My dogs passed away a long time ago, so now I just care for the wild birds that visit my balcony. They don't pay any attention to me whatsoever, but it makes me happy to know they're taken care of. I'm so happy we have people like you, Derek and Frankie! ❤
I’m am living your exact life. For years I don’t celebrate holidays- I celebrate the food! Ha ha. When I moved to Florida I purposely vowed not to make friends, cuz I’m a loner. I ENJOY being home with my dog. Art, cooking and sometimes just watching the clouds for hours!!!! Your videos and recipes are amazing. I have been no-ing for years. And my life is happy!
Christmas is just a no from me too, I've reached the stage in my life where I don't want to feel alone in a crowd, to feel awkward and out of place with others, my good place is at home with my animals, my art and my country walks, warm fire and good vegan food. Knowing, setting and sticking to boundaries is hard work but gets easier as you go along. Nice shirt by the way.
Not often that a man steps up to the camera and shows vulnerability. The hours of solitude takes us to ourselves.❤❤❤
You are an amazing human. I come to this space because you're you, and not those others with charts, graphs, and public speaking. As a fellow introvert who craves alone time, I am looking forward to following your quiet journey.
I came for the vegan recipes and I'm staying for the Dharma and Heart you share. Thank you, lovely soul and Happy Day! Sending love to you and your beautiful pup. OmManiPemeHum 💖🙏🏼💖
Yes!! Same!!
I ❤ your show! As a plant-based chaplain who helps people navigate through the choppy waters of grief this video speaks to me. All your videos speak volumes when you comment about switching to plants as your dog looks soulfully into the camera. Recently I authored a pain management book and 50% of the books’ proceeds are donated to animal rescue organizations to celebrate the healing bond between humans and animals.
I laughed when I saw ”I’ll give you something to cry about”. It reminded me of my dad. He would say that to us when we were young. Thanks for reminding me I’m really OK when I want to be alone.
I just jokingly said that expression today and told my daughter how my dad used to say it. We had a good chuckle over that. Cool coincidence!
It's been ten years since my husband died, haven't dated once, and have fallen in love with living alone - with my dog Todd. My kids are grown and married, I won't have any grandchildren, and I know how proud he would be of how I carried on without him. I can still picture him beaming with pride, telling everyone in the grocery store line about all I've accomplished.
Thanks for being so open. I completely resonate about wanting to be alone and spend the holidays alone. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't want to be surrounded by people, especially at the holidays. And for sure my need to be alone has increased as I've gotten older. I love spending Thanksgiving relaxing at home with my dog 🙂
I always disliked the holidays, found them exhausting. I was either at gatherings I didn't want to go to, or battling the people holding them, lol. Moving 2,000 miles away, I spent my first holidays solo...oh my god, it was AMAZING! Quiet streets, cozy, candlelit movies with hot chocolate in bed, sleeping in, no plans at all...I never looked back. That was 24 years ago.
I hear you. I am not a fan of the holidays either. I am the youngest of them all, most of them are gone. I recharge my batteries when I am alone. I have my dog also. Every time I go to some event with people, it sucks my energy trying to engage with them. I love them, but it can be overwhelming. I too felt guilty, but no more. Love your channel, stay cool my friend. 😊
Derek, I am a pet sitter and holidays are spent with all the animals all the visits sleeping at someone else’s house and I am so OK with that! Animals are so much better than people💙
Agreed! 🌷
Gosh, this really resonates with me. I lost my partner just over 6 weeks ago, completely unexpected and a total shock. We have a chocolate Labrador who provides so much comfort, unconditional love and support. In turn, I spoil and love her as much as possible. Christmas is going to be difficult. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Bless you 🙏🏼⚡❤️🐕🌹
I’m sorry for your loss ♥️♥️♥️
@@jaieatsplants Thank you ❤️💔
Leaning into the love of animals makes all the difference, be good to yourself.
@@DerekSarnoChef Thank you Derek. ❤
❤🙏🏻😇
I haven’t celebrated the holidays in over a decade. The peace of spending this time either alone taking a walk, reading and reflecting means so much more for me and feeds my soul. Setting boundaries with each passing year has been an abundant blessing. Sending hugs and love to Frankie from California .
Thank you so much, Derek, for helping me with accepting my own aloneness One of my major comforts is making delicious vegan food for myself. Isn't is amazing that a person in San Francisco can feel such support from a person in the uk through a video you took the time to make and I took the time to watch. Thank you for sharing your heart. 💖✨
I totally agree. I lost my husband 5 years ago and I also enjoy being alone with my little dog. After all the "noise" of life before, it is now so wonderful to just be alone.
Life is too short to fake living it. Anxiety is out of my life since I stopped pleasing people with my behavior and choices. I don't have a fake permanent smile anymore, I set boundaries, I say "no". People are puzzled. It's a solitary life, and you get used to it. I'd rather be alone and calm, than together and anxious. I don't need to meet anybody expectations anymore, I don't have to justify my private life choices, I am not analyzed under a microscope for the sake of gossip.
I don't have pets anymore, but I have always priorized their happiness to everything else, and I don't regret it one bit.
I don't have relatives, so my holidays are alone-time, and that's ok, I feel comfortable. Good memories will always stay with me, as well as the loved ones in my heart.
Your cooking videos gave me a new way of eating and thinking. I am one year out of a major battle with cancer. I was looking to change my diet and stumbled upon your videos. I have cooked many of your recipes for friends and family. Please keep cooking and sharing positive vibes, they are touching people that need them. Thanks, Noland
Wonderful share! 💜 Alone time is The BEST!! And it's important to know and respect yourself and your needs. Miss America is a reflection of You. She's a great Being because you take such amazing care of her. I love all of this post! Your honesty is wonderful. Your videos are always a highlight in my day. Keep on keeping on D! Hi Frankie!!
I feel 100% the same!! I thrive in situations with less humans and more animals. 💖And I've also been saying no more and more without worrying. Thank you for saying this . I'm always feeling it and not many understand.
You have a beautiful soul. You bring comfort to all of us who watch your channel. Frankie is the icing on the cake
I get it, 100%. I agree with enjoying my own company, my cat's company, and not having to explain anything to anyone. I love being alone on the holidays. Take good care, and thank you for everything that you do. I really think Frankie needs to look into into stand up comedy. I see it as her forte.
We love you so much. Thank you and Frankie for being part of our lives❤
Animals make life so much better. Every day after work I get so excited to come through the door to see my 2 girls happy faces. My dogs are always in a good mood
Hey-just want to say that I too have 'opted out' of family gatherings for many reasons. Such a stress relief. I absolutely and completely understand what you are saying and I applaud you for taking a stand and stating it outright! It IS ok.
By the way, I've learned sooo much from you and beg of you, don't go changing a thing about your style. Your vibe is legit and Frankie is precious. Much love and respect. (This is the first and only comment that I have ever made anywhere, but I felt compelled by the thoughts you shared) Thanks for being so real and down to earth. Wishing a continuous flow of blessings for you both.
It could have been me speaking these words. I have been a foster for several animal rescues for about 40 years, have taken in hurt or orphaned squirrels and birds etc, do not eat animals since about 6 years old, and truly prefer being with them than being at social gatherings or even just with family. My true friends have been so since my early teens, and each day I wake with much gratitude. I am grateful too for finding your channel here on RUclips.
I prepared your tempeh and veg meal right after it aired, and found it PERFECT except that while it says it feeds 6, I ate 1/2 nyself, and had to force myself to deliver the rest to a neighbor..
Your gentleness is an inspiration.
Thank you for this deeply felt message, Derek. Being alone when needed is not being 'lonely' and saying 'no' is a personal gift to our well-being. Miss Frankie is a treasure on your journey and I wish you much ease with the home sale and eventual move back to the US. Looking forward to more delicious, wonderful videos! ☺
Thank you for voicing this. I go to holiday gatherings because I enjoy seeing my grandkids, but it's incredibly anxiety-inducing. My sons know that I will stay as long as I can and when I leave after only a little while, it isn't because I'm angry. I just have limited emotional resources. I hope your life settles down soon. Kiss Frankie for me!
Dude, you do you! It has taken ten years and medication to help even a little with my own loss, I am so very sorry for your hurt. Frankie needs a cookie. Love and peace to you and yours.
It's actually really nice to hear this sentiment. I have estranged myself as much as possible from my family due to how toxic, transphobic, and terrible they are. I don't feel guilty about it at all. I can still feel love and compassion for family and still know it is best to not associate with them.
Thank you for your babbling.. you're so special !.. I'm totally blessed by the fact that you can just be you !.. thank you for your example, it matters.
Made a lot of sense. I definitely feel more peace at home with my fur baby than I do being around people. Even the ones I love.
Absolutely right on !! Don't care about what others think what you should do!!! I agree 100 percent in everything you say!!! Freedom is true freedom!!! Be proud of the YOU!!!
If your usual content didn't already, this openness and honesty just make you all the more human. Thank you for being such a beautiful person!
Bless you, and thank you. Christmas has been hard for me since I was sixteen and my parents sent me away because I was doing stupid shit, and honestly I'd do that shit again if it kept me from becoming my parents. But it's been hard.
Kudos on you for watching your grandmother cooking and following in her footsteps. So many women labor to make these holidays bright, and never get recoginized. The men loosen their belts and watch football while the women clean up the mess from the cooking they did and the eating everyone did. Kudos on you for recognizing what a joy and gift it is to cook and share a good meal.
Wise words, thank you. I've been subscribed for several years now and it has been a pleasure watching this channel grow and see a bit more of your (and Frankie's!) life. You guys truly deserve all this success! Excited for van life!
Hey Dharma brother. Many years in practicing on my own,less and less poeple and family. First year and first time in my life saying no to christmas gatherings. Hope to be able to cook a nice meal just for myself from your recipes and not ruin it😂.. and send boddhicitta to all living beings and of course to you and Missy 🙏🪷☀️🌙🌈💜
Love and light ✨️
I like your rants and Ms. America’s comments really add humor to taking ourselves too seriously while also caring for ourselves. I can fully relate. What you do with your channel is what I relate to more than any other social media. We should all be more like dogs.
You speak from the heart and there is no better way of communication.
I too said “no” this holiday. Most of how I feel, you have already said.
When I was forty, my marriage ended. I was a single mom with two children and my Dad. Holidays were difficult. Trying to act normal when life has turned upside down was exhausting and more emotional than I care to admit. Now, two decades later, I prefer more quiet time as well. I’m a spiritual person, so most holidays don’t hold any real significance anymore. I am grateful for those I love.
I am blessed that both of my sisters are very supportive of my No Food With a Face lifestyle. That being said, the people around them are not always so kind. But, the day that you don't stand up for who you are and who you can be is the day that you give it all away.
I just lost my sweet puppy and thought I can never have another. But seeing your dogs eyes I feel there is a way to love again. I will sit with my grief for now, but not forever. Thanks for showing me that.😊
Gray and rainy and cold here in Oregon, too. Hoping for some sun later this week. Holidays are so much pressure, I'm glad you shared this. Enjoy your time to yourself. As Ruth Krauss wrote, "Everybody should be quiet near a little stream and listen."
I loved this video. You speak with such honesty that it wakes up stuff in my brain and it is uplifting for me. I think that you are a rather rare human being who has done a lot of inner work and you have a lot to share. I wish you and Frankie good luck in your next adventures. Thank you for all you do for us.
If you don't have a companion animal to shower you with their unconditional love, please consider adopting a dog or cat from a local rescue or animal shelter. Or even foster so they don't have to spend the holidays in a cage in a noisy shelter. It's heartbreaking to know that healthy, adoptable animals in U.S. shelters are euthanized simply to make room for more animals to take their place. There are all kinds of breeds available, you just have to look. Puppies are available too. You might have to drive a distance to find what age/breed you're looking for. But it's so worth it. Your new best friend will be forever grateful to you for saving his/her life. 🐾❤
LOVE Frankie’s comments. Be well.
Since my mother’s passing about a year ago I have been on the go, taking care of business. December will be mine, living alone, telling everyone “thanks, but no”.
I have been basting in fresh grief. It was just a few weeks before Thanksgiving that I lost my mother. She was the rock and heart of my world. Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. The last few years, I worked very hard to make sure that it was always wonderful for her. I was torn between honoring her with another wonderful Thanksgiving or just wanting everyone to leave me alone and keep my head under the covers. I'm also an 80s latchkey kid, and I require lots of alone time to recharge my battery. I also like quiet. I can go several days and not turn on the television. I often leave my cell phone at random places because I did not grow up having to have this thing strapped to me all the time. To me it feels like a burden. It feels like stress. Email feels like stress. I truly was meant to live in a nice little hobbit cabin Earthship home, growing my own food, preserving my own food, making my own clothes and living a very quiet life that walks gently upon the earth. Not many folks want to walk down that kind of path with you. Especially, when it involves a composting toilet. Lol! Cest la vie. I am trying to give myself permission to walk only to the beat of my own drum . You bring me joy when I get to see you and your pup. If you struggle to present and to make these videos, ( and I don't see that but I validate that that's your feelings ) I have only ever seen it as a testimony to your uniqueness, and as charming. I truly am sorry for your broken heart. Grief is a terrible knife in the spirit. I would rather be home with an animal who loves me than in a room full of people where I continually feel more and more alone. I'm just some sort of old cave troll, and too much for most to handle. And I find most others too much for me to handle. True story. I just wanted you to know someone else gets it and I appreciate you. Thank you for being you. I really dig you just the way you are and I hope you never change.
My east-coast daughter is spending Thanksgiving "four days alone with [her] cats." Meanwhile, I'm having my first fully plant-based Thanksgiving and am excited to be cooking up a storm for the locals here in the Midwest! Keep speaking your truth and I look forward to what you offer in the New Year.
When my husband died aged 42, I also avoided family gatherings. I prefer my own company now, and that was 23 years ago this December. Sadly I had to say goodbye to my precious companion Weimaraner Misty 2 years ago which has made another hole in my heart . 💚🌱
Thanks Derek, your videos always make me smile. Two cats looked after me through the grief process, 17 years ago. Also made it easier to say a high quality no!
I lost my mum to cancer last month. I could really do without Christmas this year. I need to be there for my brother and neices though. It will be great, but not right without mum. Sending you all the best this holiday season ❤️
Totally agree. My dogs are my kids and we enjoy our alone time together. Never lonely. Fabulous food and fun times with none of the junk.
Derek, you've got it going on! I'm 67 and love alone! Give Frankie a big kiss for me, I love her sass!❤❤🎉
It's depressing everywhere nowadays. People's anxiety is palpable in the 'air'. Take good care as you do when cooking and caring for animals at the same time.👍💚
I appreciate your frankness. And your Frankie Miss America. I live alone happy as can be. Lacto-vegetarian for 23 years. I'll be doing all the cooking for 2 friends and me at my place. I enjoy it. Preparing the food, setting the ambiance. Wish I had your cooking chops. Grateful for your channel. It inspires me. 🙏🏻🌞
There is so much pressure at Christmas time to be part of this joyous family event. I’ve been like a lot of.. well mainly women.. the centre of this for many years. You feel responsible for everyone having a good time, it’s exhausting and stressful. Now my children have grown up and left home. And bless them I think they now realise, how difficult it can be. I’m so grateful to them, for simply not wanting a big fuss, we’ve all been so open and honest with each other, and all appreciate having our quiet time, and being able to say no. I am lucky too as they are not materialistic kids either, so no one expects anything. This year, we are just having a homemade Christmas hat competition, no presents, I feel so relaxed about everything this year! And it’s perfectly ok.
I watch all the busyness and panic of Christmas around me, and let it wash over me, it feels great.
I think Christmas changes as you get older, and especially when you lose someone who was always a big part of your life. It’s never been the same since I lost my mum, and then my mother in law last year, just before Christmas.
We will eat together, but everyone is contributing their time, or their cooking skills…and we are all vegan, including partners!
I hope you enjoy your peaceful holiday, and thank you for all your amazing recipes. Love to Frankie x 🌱
We share a lot in common. I’m an almost-retired-veterinarian and feel the same way about my own animals. The ability to shower another living being with love is one of the most amazing reasons for being alive. I love how you treat your dog. Thank you for this video.
I am also no fan of the holidays. I just don't like them. My husband and I with our furbabies are a complete unit. We love being just us. Thank you for this.
Being …. just Being comes with getting older. Sitting with your thoughts and being in the moment is an incredible space. It takes practice to get there but when you do oh my life is richer and fuller even when alone.
Saying no is part of being so cheers to NO and love to you and Frankie 🤗🤗
I'm with you! The older I get, the more I enjoy myself I'm never 'by myself,' I'm 'with myself.'
Frankie is such a sassy girl!
Time alone is pure gold. Thank you for your authentic words in this video!
You are fabulous. You consistently inspire me to strive to be the kindest version of myself. Thank you for all you do for us.
You are a breath of fresh air in a sea of fake influencers. Thank you for being you and for allowing us to take a small glimpse into your life. Having been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease a year and a half ago I now know that putting myself first is the most important thing that I can do going forward. Self-care is my number one goal these days. After a lifetime of putting others first, I am now dedicating a part of each day to me. Daily. Sadly, I had to learn that the hard way.
I 100% agree with this. The older I get, and I’m pretty old, the less I want to be around people and noise and debate and just want to spend my remaining time with my Self. I have a like-minded partner and our Thanksgiving will be quiet and peaceful and delicious - my tofu mushroom soup with garlic bread and pumpkin muffins for dessert.
I've lived alone with my dogs and my horse for 20+ years and that's how I like it. I love my friends but I truly enjoy hanging out with my one remaining dawg. My fam is in Britain, I'm in CO. Everyone feels sorry for me that I'm alone but it's by choice. I love it. Tomorrow I'm cooking myself a beefless wellington with all the trimmings. Yay for me!! Frankie's comments are hysterical by the way 😄 Have a beautiful, peaceful Thursday.
I hear ya! 👍 After my last relationship ended nine years ago, which ran for about 20 years, I had been in serious relationships for about 27 years. So after the last one ended, a little voice in my head said to myself, "You need to be on your own for a while."
After the depression, sadness, fear, loneliness, and overall ick of the break-up slowly started fading away, I found that, to my most pleasant surprise, I really came to enjoy being on my own. Now, I thoroughly embrace it as a way of life. I love, love, LOVE the solo lifestyle. 😃
I hear you, I feel you. Simple gratitude is a beautiful thing. 🍁🍂♥️
love every word you said ❤Our society is sick. There is a lack of love in the world. Thank you for this moment of heartfelt sharing ❤🙏 "The more I know people, the more I love animals"
I love seeing you dote on sweet Frankie--she is a lucky girl. My greatest joy is spoiling each of my foster dogs (even though it is so very hard to say goodbye when they find their forever home). They give to me so much more than I could ever give to them which is more than I can say for most humans.
My husband always says, “An invitation is not an obligation.” This Thanksgiving we’ve declined several dinner invitations and opted for a quiet holiday for two with our three pups. No clue what’s on our menu… lol… but that’s okay - I’ll just wing it. Something simple, warm and comforting, I suspect. It’s more about having a quiet, low key Thanksgiving, for once. We’ll raise our glasses to you and your gorgeous Frankie. Take care. Peace.
I got my very first dog when I was in my 40's and I had never had my heart opened like I had when I was with her. She was my bestie and I miss her every day. And for holidays, I've sat out my share of family gatherings and it was glorious. 🥰
6 minutes, 20 seconds.... not near long enough! 🙂I would have listened to you & Frankie chat for at least an hour. ❤ I was in tears, but not the kind I cried steady for years when the love of my life passed on 12 years ago, at 50. They were tears of understanding, and agreeing with every word you were saying.
But intermingled with the tears, I was loving your sweet Frankie with laughing out loud, which is much too rare for me.😂My sweet German Shepherd, Jessie Girl, with me for 15 years, passed away just over a year ago.❤
This was so good for me. Thank you for what you do.
It's a blessing to be loved & to love. I wish you the Very Best of All Things💫 Doreen
Enjoy yourself, with your precious furry friends 🙏💙🎉
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, great cooking techniques, yummy food, and especially Frankie (I love your girl, Frankie, and her sassy comments 😍🐕)
Thanks for creating this community! It reinforces my feelings and beliefs, makes me trust in humanity again, and just warms my cockles. Happy Holidays everyone!
Animals complete me! Just looking at them and being able to care for them, makes me happy!!!
Derek, this is my favorite video yet! Perfection. So deeply honest and like having a heartfelt conversation with a dear friend. Never compare yourself with others- you are perfect as you are. Don't worry about output- stay on Derek time. That's what we love about you- you keep it real. So refreshing to hear you relating your holiday thoughts and makes me feel like less of a freak. Things are definitely not the same as when we were kids and yes we all need to give ourselves permission to say No. This was truly beautiful. Keep being you pouring your heart out. Love to you and Frankie❤❤❤
Derek, let's run away together to the Caribbean where it's warm and sunny and fresh food grows everywhere all year and there's even seaweed to experiment cooking with. I'm quiet too and can't cook at all so all I need is a bedroom and bathroom, you can have the rest. LOL! I suppose our dogs would need to get along... Oh wait, this is a NO video. LOL! Apparently I need to read the room better. "This is a NO for me" .... I can hear it now. HAHAHA! Just teasing. The real message is this: I hope you and Frankie have a lovely day tomorrow in quiet reflection, gratitude and joyful cooking. Peace, love, and truth. ~J.
I really feel what you’re saying Derek, thanks for being so open and honest, the subject really resonated with me. Frankie is lush, dog friends are the best, no second guessing with them 🥰
It has made all the sense in the world. I don’t enjoy the holiday time except to give my daughter gifts on Christmas. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I feel less alone (though I was still going to say no to the holidays invites anyway). Truly appreciated. You speak quite well, by the way.