I am a remodeling contractor who is in the clients home for an average of 2 to 3 weeks until the project is done. Been doing it for over a decade. One of the things that I've always noticed is how many Americans don't get family or friends visitors to their home. From low income to wealthy rich. People are lonely in this country.
@@nathancarranza9860goodness there’s a part of your comment that is spot on about women wanting certain cut off for their “mental health” lol . Thought it was jus me but maybe it’s a thing . I’ve dated women and they want someone you’ve known for years cut off because they don’t feel comfortable. Like damn I have to pick between a woman I’ve only met for a few months now and a brother whose literally gotten me through hard times and kept me from being a statistic Pbd jus read ? No way
@@nathancarranza9860 My friend moved back to Argentina after 40 years in the U.S. She said she was at a gathering at her friend’s apartment late one night. Another friend happened to pass by on her bike, going home from somewhere. From the street she saw lights on and people on the balcony, so she stopped in and joined them. Here, if we aren’t invited, it’s rude to show up. Plus our feelings are hurt and we question our friendships.
@@nathancarranza9860 That’s sad. I’m a single professional woman. I have a lot of male friends through work. We talk about a lot of things and I value their advice. It’s not right to be cut off. I’m highly moral and not a threat to anyone’s marriage. I’d appreciate it if they and their wives would help me get married.
We had our house remodeled, and the workers became friends, they were so happy to be invited to lunch and have that prepared for them, we shared recipes, ended up visiting eachothers homes and going out for dinner...we even had a serviceman say to not worry about the bill because he felt so happy seeing a functional family of faith happy together and being invited into that briefly.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” ~ Robin Williams RIP
That's 100% it. You try to date by approaching people in your daily life, and you're greeted with awkwardness, annoyance, and avoidance. You try to date using apps, and you're greeted by silence, scammers, and 1 word replies to messages (which you receive with startling infrequency). So eventually you just go OK, screw this. I had my fill of this crap in junior high, thanks.
It's all about location. Finding good people to date is difficult, but there are good places to find them. A place of faith is one example. Online dating is something you need patience with. Eventually you'll find good people on there, it just takes forever.
The crazy thing about this video is that I know this guy doesn’t feel lonely, but he gets it. He doesn’t need to feel lonely to understand that there are a lot of lonely people. I respect you a lot Pat. Thank you!
I'd say mens numbers are under reported and women's numbers are over reported. Men don't want to admit to being lonely because they are usually shamed further for being alone where with women, there's more of a support system in place to kinda prevent their loneliness if they admit that they feel that way. Men kinda have to just act like they aren't alone until they decide to just be honest about it.
Then after being honest they're made to understand that no one actually cares anyways, so keeping it to yourself was the move all along. It is literally pointless as a man trying to explain your own loneliness. No help will be offered. You won't even get sympathy. You'll just be told your loneliness is proof of your personal failings and that you deserve all the consequences thereof. So you stop talking about it. And you stop listening to people when they say they care. Then pretty soon afterwards you stop caring. (Not just about them, about everything. It happens by degrees at first, but soon enough the listlessness overrides all other emotion.)
I didn't choose the lonely life, the lonely life chose me. That's been my life so far. People suck, don't care, and most of aren't interested in interacting with others. Best to get used to that.
Social media and handheld devices have destroyed people's social skills, particularly the young, who've never known anything else. We're neurologically changed. People don't make the effort to engage, or invest time in relationships. We just socialize differently, and it's not an improvement at all. It's pseudo socializing.
Completely accurate observation, Relationships as a whole lack the depth they once had. Social media has resulted in self absorbed narcissists who have nothing to offer other people.
I think it goes back even further than the smart phone. I remember when people first started getting internet connected computers around 2001. They were always online. They didn't come out any more, and you couldn't get them on the phone because of the dial-up service.
@@KewrockI was a kid through the 2000’s and yes even though computers and games were a thing then…kids were still way more socially active and open rather than now after social media
Social media have nothing, i repeat, nothing to do with this. It's always been that way. But if are you talking about marriage, well... wtf? You mixing socializing and flirting.
The root of this is social media. Period. I'd bet the loneliness and single household chart is almost identical to the rise in computing power. There is no more genuine human interaction in person. Older folk are better than this. I worked valet at a hotel in college and it was always the older folks who took the time to speak to me and get to know me, even if it was just during a short trip to their room. And this will not get better. Nobody is seeking natural avenues of dopamine.
Take a look at Jonathan Haidt’s findings on the correlation between high-speed digital communication technologies (social media and smartphones) becoming more and more widespread and permeating through society and the suicide rates for young boys and girls. It is absolutely beyond bleak. You’re spot on.
took 6 years to care for my mom because i didn't want her in a home. i was working full time and was so engaged. exhausted and tired but full of energy. i had purpose. then she passes away (at home thankfully). i still had kinship and purpose at my employer, until they gave me a severance. i have now been in empty house for 2 years, with no purpose and no real understanding of what i am to do. its painful but i can endure. i just wish i knew what my purpose is... but i guess everyone kinda wonders the same thing. God bless you all, and remember as painful as it can get you are never really all alone.
Good for you taking care of your mom. I couldn’t take care of my dad. It wouldn’t have been safe, anyway. But every weekend I visited him at the facility, and it was like a family. I stated with my mom and stepdad on weekends because I live 90 minutes away. I was busy, engaged, and had purpose. When my dad died, I felt lonely again in addition to the grief of loss.
Our economy struggling with uncertainties, housing issues, foreclosures, global fluctuations, and pandemic aftermath, causing instability. Rising inflation, sluggish growth, and trade disruptions need urgent attention from all sectors to restore stability and stimulate growth.
Things are strange right now. The US dollar is becoming less valuable because of inflation, and other powerful nations waking up to trade in their own currencies. Good thing is, a lot of people still turn to the Dollar because of the safety is somehow assures. I'm worried about my retirement savings of about $420,000 losing value because of these factors and more. Where else can we keep our money?
Well, I suggest you make a diversification plan because it's been harder to build a good portfolio that stays afloat since COVID. Personally, I garner knowledge from a brokerage Adviser whom I work with, and I've actually made over $350K with their help since February. Very effective defensive strategies are used to protect my portfolio and make profits despite the ups and downs.
My financial advisor is 'COLLEEN ROSE MCCAFFERY'. I found her on an interview where she was featured Afterwards I reached out to her on her webpage. she has since then provided me with entry and exit points in securities I focus on.
I just looked her up on the internet and found her webpage with her credentials. I wrote her outlining my financial objectives and planned a call with her.
some of the biggest backstabbers in my life have been people that used to call me their best friend. They turn into very selfish individuals that take and take and never give. Its better to be by yourself and better yourself than going out to meet potentially toxic people.
Yeah I’ve experienced this. Then if you call them out on anything they just gaslight or make you feel like you’re the problem. No one needs that in their life. Being in my 30s now I refuse to have any kind of toxic relationship. I need peace in my life.
I think a major factor in loneliness is that we rarely share common experiences. Back in the old days, there were only a few TV channels. What this meant was that we all watched the same TV shows. This allowed us to be able to relate to one another at least at that level. Now days, each person programs their own TV network just for themselves and only in rare instances do people see the same shows. I know this idea is kind of trivial, but I think it makes a big difference. I experience this in the workplace were all of us old farts can reminisce about the old crappy shows we used to watch. The younger people don't seem able to share that kind of experience.
Good observation. Thinking about it, it is easier to: Watch your own shows/entertainment as you said Listen to your own niche music (every artist ever at your fingertips always - not just radio) Local communities do not work in the same area - better cars/transport-more commuting, remote work, WFH Generally less real life experience - nobody is going to talk about their week if all they did is scroll on their phone during time off It’s also way easier/can feel more relaxing to instantly get dopamine hits from a device than spend time and energy going out, even if you usually have a memorable time
also lots of people just rot on the phone all day long especially at lunch, been to worksites where 15guys sit in 1 room all on the phone being complete bots, after 2 weeks of me being there few join the convo and by few moths everyone is talking, no one wants to be on the phone everyone wants to say funny shit and have a good time its just so hard these days especialy if u dont have leaders to lead the way... soon as i get in lunch room i start saying extreme fucked up shit to get people to laugh and boom everyone is way happier right away
Let’s be clear. Living alone does not equate to loneliness. I’ve lived alone for almost 6 years and never have I felt lonely. I believe loneliness is a symptom of something deeper.
I’m in the same boat, alone but never lonely. I like the short engagements & some gatherings, but nothing compares to being alone. I have some of my best thoughts, & feel more at ease. Time & the bills don’t care about me being lonely or not, so neither do I.
@patgarrett9454 What an incredibly closed minded and naive viewpoint towards people that have stable lives and feel secure enough to finally start building a family. The steps you just listed out are the most natural timelines for responsible adults that are smart with their time and money. Wanting kids is only natural, especially when your life is in order and financially stable.
Yeah there are definitely a lot of people that are very happy and comfortable spending most of their time on their own, me being one of those, I'm a sigma male. But from time to time I realise the extremely important value of being able to meet up or talk on the phone to a friend l maybe haven't had contact with for months. Knowing that I can do this allows me to be myself and not fake it every week down the pub. Totally agree with most of the video though. Families seem to be breaking down and it seems to be down to social media and the plandemic.
This 100%. Being single in this world is a liability in many ways. Trying to keep friendships is impossible and people just seem transactional. I would have never thought that I would have zero friends at this point in life. Typically you start to weed out the good from the bad at my age, but without anyone to weed out, its just depressing. There is, I think, a selfishness epidemic as well that coincides with the loneliness epidemic. You can try and be the best friend in the world to people, but they just take what they can from you until you are no longer useful to them, and then they drop you like a bag of cocaine at the white house, never to claim you again.
Yeah, I was thinking this recently. I actually have zero friends. I have acquaintances, but nobody seems to want to make the transition to friendship. I think it's just partially due to the era we are in currently. I feel things were not this bad in the 80's.
@@sanitary103 I have tried and continue to try but I just can't connect with people on a real personal level. Anybody that knows me will say I'm polite, helpful and 'nice'. But I just don't have that attractive quality that makes others want to spend time with you. I have a sibling who is the complete opposite and seems to make friends everywhere he goes. I just hate the fact that I could die without people knowing what a good friend I could be to someone.
It's not selfishness per-se, there is a large amount of 'resource-extraction' going on in western nations. females are seeking to do it to their male partners, business are nickel and diming their customers at every turn, the government pushes the envelope a little further in each of our countries. Everyone is falling into a mindset of survival which turns to resource extraction and hoarding.
Married for a full 18 months and divorced only 35 years. I enjoy my 'alone' time immeasurably. I haven't felt 'lonely', but I would guess it is sad. Get up, get out, volunteer, have two bands, work full time and keep in touch with friends and family, virtually and in person. I'm like my Mother, I talk to everyone, whether they like it or not. It's a great big wonderful earth out there - no time for 'lonely'. I think we should live our best life doing what we like and meet people along the way. You must be a good friend to get a good friend. Be generous and help when you can.
Hey Patrick, I'm currently a senior in college and I've encountered some of the same challenges when it comes to socializing. Despite my efforts to engage with others, whether at bars, in classes, the gym, or during everyday interactions with people around my age (18-22 age), I've found it quite frustrating. It seems that many individuals lack the ability to have a conversation or they don’t even try. As a result, conversations often become awkward and fizzle out rapidly. I feel like I’m a wasp in a beehive, and the bees know I’m not supposed to be here. I don’t see how anyone can solve this problem.
I have had problems socializing with that age group. I started sharing my stories from high school, and then they start sharing theirs. Also I found that talking about your first phone is another way to break the ice. It takes practice, but eventually it gets easier. You might get a lot of silence at first, but if you see after 15 minutes nothing happens, move on to the next one.
Dude, i feel you. Super Jump online training really help me with being open and happy. And after that i became more social, creating my own communities.
cos most people realize socializing is a waste of time. conversation awkward and fizzle out = fck off, dont disturb me, stop forcing conversations on people who are not interested.
Best advice is find a hobby and within that hobby you'll find someone else with the same hobby and you can make friends that way or get a job and slowly make friends there but this isn't the best place to find friends at times. But not having company to share with anyone isn't all that bad because you get to enjoy time and space at your leisure but of course it's always nice to share that with someone else too.
I honestly think that because of social media and our smart phones, no one knows how to socialize anymore. We NEVER had this in the 80s as young people
When covid first hit, I had just moved to a new state and didnt have too many friends. This came with a hard breakup of a long term relationship I had... I threw myself fully into my job and getting into fitness... but I didnt realize how slowly I was becoming isolated, socially awkward and losing my confidence.. My days started to blend together... everyday was the same, Id wake up tired without any motivation, go to work, come home, train, play video games and sleep... over and over.... I was falling apart. Ive slowly taken steps to increase my confidence, got back to school and im trying to be social again. Its hard and I hope I succeed... I am afraid that I wont
@@MrFernandogj the worst thing you can do is think about all this...IGNORING is the best advice i.e. open up to others people needs and soon you wont have time to think so much about yourself! working on yourself is also thinking about yourself all the time! do the opposite! show mercy to others
You'll be fine because you've taken the proper actions. Sitting and thinking for 3 minutes is not as effective as going outside for 3 minutes and doing activity. If doing the same thing gets you a certain result then do something different and you will guarantee to get a different result. You're doing exactly what you're doing... It will work out just keep at it.
People at the gym are busy ignoring each other. It was that way even 30 years ago. Plus nowadays they have their earbuds in. Nothing signals “don’t talk to me” like earbuds.
From right before Covid to now I’ve lost like 80% of the circle of people I talk to. I’ve lost friends, co-works, and some have died . Sometimes I go a couple days without talking to anyone. It’s just me in my head.
There is an aspect to the loneliness epidemic in America that no one is talking about. This may sound strange coming from me a married man with three children but I am an active observer. People today are way too proud and too arrogant to answer text, email, DM, or even phone calls. so many people have this over inflated ego problem that they’re too good for the average human being. But you have to remember whether you’re male or female you will get older, you will get heavier, your body will slow down you will not stay a supermodel forever. So walking around with a over inflated ego full of pomp, it will lead you into a dark corner of loneliness later on. Social media, Instagram, and other inappropriate websites have given people over inflated appraisals for themselves. Everyone thinks they’re a perfect 10 when actually, they are just average. So it boils down to a lot of narcissism and egotistical behavior that has facilitated all of this
This is sooo true. I moved to a more prominent area of my town about a year ago and had no friends so I set out to make some. I was mocked brutally and shamed for wanting connection and I was treated like the village desperado. People performed background checks on me, I was iced out socially and it was horrible!! I cannot understand even why…but I know for 100% sure that the same people are dying of loneliness.
What I’ve learned through my life’s research: Anytime I tried keeping friends via social media, they were less likely to want to meet in person. So I deleted social media off my phone so I can see people in person.
Just got off of a cruise ship 10/22/2023 and the percentage of people GLUED to their devices while on VACATION was staggering. In the hot tub, swimming pool, at meal time, walking through the ship staring at their phone. The phone has become the drug of choice. I don't know how many times I wanted to say put your phone down and spend time with the person that you came with and not the stupid device. My phone was turned off on the day leaving port and did not turn on until the return. Even then, I just made sure that there were no emergencies to reply to. I don't do social media on the phone either. The only usage for the phone is calls and texts. That's it. It would be great to go back to MA BELL on the wall.
I'm in my 50's now and despite trying so hard to make friends since my youth, I'd say that most humans are not very nice. It's certainly gotten worse, most guys just don't seem to want to know, whether it be at a gym, motorcycle club or any other interest that we may share. Apart from my wife who I've been happily married to for decades, I don't have any male friend. I totally get why some people surround themselves with animals, you know exactly where you stand with them.
I find that very sad that a lot of men don't have male or female friends beside their wife...at least get out of the house and go and do something! go to the gym...sadly lots of women are so jealous as to encourage their husbands to do everything "at home " Go out and do stuff ! 🕊
@@sunflower-oo1ff My wife is great on that front, she wishes that I had a friend or two to see when she's with her's but I do know that others aren't like that. Those men are weak for being allowed to be treated like that if you ask me.
Same boat as you with male friends but getting divorced in 2020 adds a whole other dynamic. No close male friends and no wife and no pets. It’s only been 3 years but I’m gradually getting use to being alone.
I think the increase of loneliness si somehow related to people using smartphones and the rise of social media. People thinking they have followers and friends when in actuality 99% of those people would not care if you are struggling with depression or loneliness. I think no amount of followers can replace real friends and family.
When your are backstabbed by the people you loved, it’s hard to trust new relationships. In addition, Covid did a number on a lot of people. I will say that Covid trauma is real. Some people never recovered from the mental health issues that came with it. Being forced to isolate cost a lot of friendships and relationships.
I'm so lonely it's just normal now...My phone doesn't ring, I know none of my neighbors (despite trying), no one visits, I got nowhere to go and no one to go there with.
This is why I encourage my adult boys to stay in the home. They are not psychologically ready to be out there alone never mind unaffordability of living too. Stop pushing/telling kids they need to be on their own, the world is a different place than when we were 20 (I'm 55).
I understand your viewpoint but when kids don’t go out into the real world and get hurt, they never develop a pain tolerance. So when they finally get a paper cut, they cry, instead of the man who did go out into the real world, got hurt and persevered through the pain, now when something similar happens, it won’t be as painful. It’ll still hurt, but you can muscle through that pain.
You tell your adult boys they are not ready for the real world? Way to make them fearful of the outside world and mentaly week in dealing with real life situations.
@JRP026 they don't need to live far away from their parents to adjust to painful situations.. my colleagues of work by themselves have made me an iron man.
For me, the loneliness I feel is simply because I'm single and I yearn for a like minded companion. Its not all the time, in fact its rare and comes in waves every once in a blue moon. I see friends and family with girlfriends and wives and it hurts when we're all out on the town and I'm the 11th wheel. Then I remember I have a job I love, a strong friend and family unit, I've just lost 70lbs, I've gotta roof over my head, food in my stomach and a little coin in my pocket. Above all else, I remember how much the Lord loves me and sees value in my life where others may not. That alone really takes the loneliness out of me and keeps me pushing forward. There are so many people who have it far worse than me and the hopelessness goes away when I remember how fortunate I am for God to have blessed me with the things I have in life.
Seeing the other couples is why you want it. You see them looking happy being together and you "want" it too. I had this issue. Think of it like this. Say you are a child. You have a toy you don't play with, and one day another child starts playing with and is having lots of fun. You will instantly want to have fun too, and demand to play with the toy as well. You will quickly remember why you stopped playing with that toy and move on. It sounds callous, but I find it's true.
Yes that's always a fine line. Do you surround yourself with people who don't really care for you just to be social or you stay alone to keep away from those who are not good for you... Difficult.
The loneliest I've ever been was 4 years into my marriage. Isolated from my friends and family and living with a woman that had visceral hatred for me. Now I've been single for 5 years with 2 kids and this is the least lonely I've ever felt. It's unfortunate that men and women can't come together and just decide to live separately and have kids together with equal rights to their kids.
i fucking wish this would be the case. I want kids without the woman. but im also not selfish and woudlnt want to do that to the kids. thats also true people think those that are married or with girlfriend arent lonely but you can be thee most lonely in those relationships. Its the same when you look at rich people u think they have the life u want until you really see what they go through.
I work with this girl that has a depressive disorder and i tell her to exercise and do things to treat herself nice and she tells me. "I've always been like this and idgaf." I think a lot of people like being miserable because it's easy and they don't even know anything else.
There are many people in this world that are so traumatized and miserable. It’s all they know. And they seek to recreate misery wherever they can, simply due to the fact, that is what is familiar and comfortable to them.
@@rustyshackleford6637 hope is a lie, nihilism has nothing to do with hope, nihilism is simply a statement that nothing has meaning which is true, the worship of death started with feminist movement and will end with them however what prevents 90% of humans from getting rid of this evil is cowardice yes they are cowards intellectually, morally, ethically,...etc cowards! And worst of some are proud being cowards.
This just made me feel even more lonely. Never really had that many deep friendships. Lost a friend and mentor two weeks ago and another friend last week. I dont do social media because it seems phony to me. Fortunately I do have a spouse and kids. I'm also normally an introvert but you will find me cheerful and conversational when out and about. Having suffered from deep loneliness in my teens, 20s and 30s, I know the worst thing you can do is shut in and pine away for a better day. Get out there and try to live a better life. Even if that means going for a walk in a blizzard instead of staying home and wasting time online.
Indeed, we introverts still need to socialize. Sometimes the only way to recharge our batteries is by draining them, and that means getting out and getting uncomfortable.
Introvert here as well. Not being lonely is tough work. It means going out and building relationships, but it's so hard to build them the older you get. Also, if you get in the wrong group of people, you will feel way more lonely than actually being by yourself. For me, it's not worth it.
I’ve been taking all of my classes for college online this semester and it’s been tough having no social interaction. This video helped me in deciding whether or not to go back on campus.
People have very poor coping skills - because they've been coddled and spoiled. I'm lonesome sometimes but I'd much rather be lonely than deal with all the drama and BS that's going on in society today.
Feeling lonely and being lonely are two different things. I don't agree with the gym part. People go to a gym to workout, not to socialize. A lot of gyms are setup like fast food restaurants. They're designed to get people in and out asap. There's a lot of stereotypes about socializing and gyms that are basically not true in most cases. I do agree with Pat when it comes to starting conversation with others, as well as showing interest in them. That is becoming harder and harder to do now. I lot of folks have checked out of reality. You can't get through to them. If you do, some will engage in conversation. The problem is that there is no possibility of connect because either the line is already cut, or simply doesn't exist within them anymore.
I agree people should focus on their workouts, resting for one minute between sets, not blabbing and standing around (or even sitting on machines!) distracting others and getting in their way. But they could still be friendly and have camaraderie in the weight room, and have a conversation while they’re on a cardio machine.
I lived in a small town for long enough to feel comfortable just making eye contact with strangers when they walked toward me on the sidewalk and saying "hi" as they passed. When I moved to a larger town (75,000 pop), I kept doing that, though some people seemed intimidated by that and looked away quickly when I made eye contact with them. Lately, I've noticed that people won't even look at me to start with, not even a glance. It's like they're making a conscious effort to not look at me. It's a subtle but profound difference.
Some millennials and younger deliberately avoid eye contact in the hall at the office. It’s scathingly rude and disrespectful not to say “Good morning” or “Hello” when passing someone.
Sounds like you're a very attractive person and when people come across you it's kind of like looking at the sun for them. Just too beautiful and powerful they have to turn away l, lest they turn into a pillar of salt. If this is the case, you can always neutralize the power you emit by putting on a Joe Biden mask. Oh wait ...
In my experience, before and even more so after Covid, doctors just make educated guesses as to what your ailment is, and experiment with pills until something happens. I was young and naïve, I was pumped full of pills for years when all I needed to do was diet and exercise to get better
I miss the good 'ole days back when I had faith in *even one* of the institutions I'm meant to rely on. Now it's all gone. I trust not one of them, and I have yet to be given a good reason to revise that stance.
Exactly! they are pill pushers and so many problems of the people in the country are related to pills. I personally believe that all the shootings are caused by the side effects of the antidepressants and antipsychotics that are so widely prescribed.
I was on max dose zoloft antidepressant from 16 years old to 19yo I used to say it really helped me… however I actually think it was rather just the natural process of being a teenager. None of my doctors ever told me it’s common to feel anxious/depressed/stressed as a pubescent teen boy. I had to do my own research to find out many people feel the same and it will go away naturally Everyone just instantly gets put on pills. Funny thing is when I quit the pills my symptoms never came back. Obviously they didnt cure me of depression lol
meeting too many toxic people too frequently, has caused me to recluse and stick to my fiancé, sister and parents. I have one friend I try to stay in contact with. What’s weird is my neighbor and his wife are close to our age, but because he was so forward, it was a bit much. I didn’t trust it. Suggested we go into business together after talking for less then 30 minutes combined, the few times we’ve caught each other outside. It just seemed too forward. And I’m a talker. But when it comes to letting people in my life, beyond just cordial conversations, I’m hesitant. People are shitty, and rather join the crowd and use people as extensions of myself…I’ll sit back. People will show their true selfs when they think you’re weak. My relationship with God and family are more important.
same. i look at people that are married and just feel sorry for them. you already know in ur mind theres going to be so much arguing and you have to be careful now cause half ur shit is on the line so dont get too frustrated in the argument cause she can leave and take half lmao fuck that world bro who the fuck really buys into that life? brainwashed society keeping up with the joneses. people that get married are doing it to show off or make their peers proud. I bet you 1 / 100 people that get married are truly deeply in love. i dont buy it to be honest. I also dont see the value in having a girl with you all the time unless u want kids. if u dont want kids its irrelevant they just cost u time and money and theres no up side other then the occasional sex but you can just jerk off so again i dont get it. lmao.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. You can be lonely in a crowd; and you can be content being alone. As a matter of fact, there’s no feeling worse than being lonely with your mate.
@@genxx2724 I think PBD was trying to promote better health without actually understanding what it means. He kept saying find a partner and all will be fine!!! This is what resonated to me.
@@genxx2724 You need to recognize your worth, don't settle, work on yourself. Else, I can't give anymore advice. Also trying to meet someone, there seems to be nobody around that could be suitable. Maybe I am in the wrong place. But where else to go, that's the question. They say opportunities are needed to find love. How to create these opportunities and where that's the question.
When there is a person in your life who you know has your back and will always be there for you. Its the best feeling in the world. Its too bad that a lot of people dont have that and they try to make up excuses for being alone.
I was pretty introverted growing up so when Covid hit I was used to being alone. A man should stand alone like people who live off the grid. It makes you stronger. Only my opinion.
To some degree, yes, and as a woman, I certainly admire that attitude in a man ;) but really, if you can find yourself a loving partner, its much better ...I didn't say perfect, but its just easier to go through life. Like you said, " Only my opinion. " 🕊
I agree, I was able to find a men's support group. I would say 80 percent have never sought out therapy and just about everyone get poop from family and friends for going to a men's group. I have friends who feels the same as I do but won't go to therapy or group because of the stigma. I am middle aged. We catch hell for even the thought of seeking much needed help. Where women are encouraged to. Men need help too.
@krystelhardesty9960 it's not ran by a therapist, but yes, like a therapy group. We sit in a circle and talk about our feelings and what is going on in our lives. We provide support for another and work on solutions. We cry, we laugh all that good stuff. Like an AA group minus the booze and a book.
Definitely can add to the loneliness here. Single, male and 39 years of age. Nobody engages anymore, it's very strange and unsettling at times. I notice it especially at the gym. I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago and seem to be making progress. In person though, not talking to a screen like betterhelp which is advertised everywhere all the time. I hope to see people start to realize what tech has done to the mind and are also engaging in helpful videos like this. I'm glad to see we're finally looking into this topic.
@@MrSky10101 running away ism't going to solve this issue. If you don't know how to talk to people here, you won't know how to interact with women there, where they're more "submissive". Plus I ain't going to move to the Philippines lol
I hope this message finds you well and brings a smile to your face. I wanted to take a moment to remind you of how truly amazing you are. Your strength, resilience, and kindness never cease to amaze me. Life may have its ups and downs, but your unwavering spirit continues to shine through. In the moments when you doubt yourself, please remember that you are loved, cherished, and valued by so many, myself included. Your presence in my life has brought immeasurable joy, and I am grateful for every day we share. No matter what challenges may come your way, always know that you have the power to overcome them. Your potential is boundless, and your dreams are within reach. Keep believing in yourself, for you are capable of achieving incredible things. As we journey through life together, I want you to remember that you are never alone. I am here for you, cheering you on, supporting you, and loving you with all my heart. keep your head held high, embrace each day with hope, and continue to be the amazing person you are. The world is a brighter place because of you, and I am blessed to have you in my life.
Hey RUclips, This individual WILLFULY & KNOWINGLY. Acted as if he knew us , PERSONALLY ! (( which is NOT Truthful. ) & Does RUclips WANT to have multiple suicides. In a COURT of law, PINNED ON IT ? Because YOU Cancelled. Someone reaching out for help ? Go for it.
"Thank you so much for shedding light on this important issue, Pat! The loneliness epidemic is a serious health crisis that not many people are aware of, and it's crucial that we start having more conversations about it. Your insights and perspective are greatly appreciated. Let's come together and find ways to combat this silent epidemic and create a more connected and inclusive society. Keep up the great work!"
Each person needs to make a contribution. It's rare to find people who show a real interest in somebody, want the best for them. Mainly people want some benefit out of people.
45% of women are married so that removes nearly half the women from dating pool. 8% of women are lesbian. 18% have an STD. 40% of women are obese. 12% are addicts. Women carry average of $68,000 in debt, 30% higher than men. 41% of single women have kids. 56% of women are divorced. These numbers alone make for a small dating pool, but trying to find attraction and similar mindset is almost impossible. Im certain the male percentages aren’t great either. We can all start by losing weight and getting financially stable.
I definitely agree that a lot of it’s because of technology. Interacting with someone on a cell phone or a laptop is not the same as face to face interaction. Also, nowadays you can literally never leave your house and have everything you need delivered to you. And then when you actually do go out in public and attempt to meet new people everyone has their face buried in their phones. Our society encourages us to seek more stuff and more status in order to gain more satisfaction, which is not the answer. In reality deep quality relationships with other people is what makes life enjoyable.
It happened to me so sparsely that I didn’t equate the cause and effect. I'm taking my dog, a minischaunzer to the ballpark for his daily walk. Took me a second to get the lead out of the car and the little man was excited. Karen comes out of nowhere and starts with her bullshit about the dog being off the lead. I told her to shut the fuck up and stop breathing until she died and went to hell! Happened again with a crazy old man with his dog on a 20' rope. Lots of profanity, old dude in my face hoping I´d punch him. Two more incidents, including getting someone arrested and deported back to Mexico. So, I´m the FIRST one to lance out now. I´m the FIRST one to hate with all the bitterness of Satan´s fury. Had some tall, handsome liberal tard go off on me for my MAGA hat in a Hobby Lobby. Americans simply HATE each other now. I'd like to start a friendship with a commitment to the friendship. No more casual bumping into someone. They´re all NUTS!
I've been without my only family member, my daughter, for three years. It's a slow agonizing death. I'm 51 and a teenager is killing me. Nothing I do will bring her home. Loneliness is embarrassing as well
Great video, PBD is not only a gangsta but a compassionate human. One thing helpful for loneliness and depression is to avoid engaging on social media with narcissists who constantly trumpet their thousands of friends and rich, meaningful lives that they club you over the head with. These people are very common online. In general you have to avoid people who badger or pressure you to "get over it". Also the main ideas of stoicism are helpful: we are all born alone and we all die alone. Everyone, even the social media ho's who simp for likes and approval is essentially alone.
Remember, with social media you’re comparing your blooper reel to everyone else’s highlight reel. People present a false image of themselves. Nobody ever tells about spending all weekend cleaning out the garage.
When I was younger I use to go to the gym. It was a real social community. I recently got a gym membership and was horrified to see that nobody wanted to talk to one another. Everyone had ear buds in listening to music and did not want to interact with others. I no longer go to the gym anymore.
That’s insane. I moved when I was 19/20 yrs old and was pretty much forced too. I had three best friend’s and about 10 guys I considered my close friend’s. I’ve never been able to recuperate from that, on any level. It’s sad.
Im 33 and ive been single my whole life. I have bad social anxiety and it seems to worsen as i get older. 5 years ago i was nowhere near this bad. I use the app to order dominoes because i dont want to physically talk to someone on the phone. Im a seller on ebay so I physically dont have to leave my house and be social with the exception being the post office. I have 2 ride or die best friends who both live within 2 miles of me. One of them literally lives a block away from me and inised to hang out and bs constantly, now not as much but instill talk to them daily but my saving grace is video games. Its literally the glue that keeps my psyche together. My mentality in life is i have my 2 bfs and around 7 other friends and my close family and thats all i need. Theres no point in having more. Its more effort i have to put into those relationships and i just dont want to. I know its wrong i guess but depression and social anxiety is a hell of a combo.
This is one of those times where being a minority is a plus, you are bounded tightly together by your community and your social circle. Community matters, when you're outside walking around and your neighbor calls you in for tea and you are asked about your parents, your career, your relationships...that matters. When you are sick and the lonely old woman who lives 10 minutes away brings you soup, that means something. When you go to Temple and the monk knows who you are and who your parents are it is significant. When you celebrate lunar new year and the whole neighborhood stops by at midnight to wish you luck and they bring red envelopes...it is something you dont forget. A strong culture shapes lives and positively impacts everyone
It's all about respect. If you have none it dont matter where you are nobody will do anything for you. Especially if you haven't done anything for anybody else.
Ethnic Black-Americans (as opposed to immigrants blacks from Africa like Nigerians) have possibly the highest murder rate in this country. It is a predatory society. What you are speaking of, are immigrants, as yes, immigrants are superior to Americans. Imagine in NFL team that always and forever gets defeated on what should be its home field advantage. That is the dojo of the USA, a McDojo that immigrant dojos kick the s__t out of in their own American dojo. Americans are so dumb they actually brag about this. When the immigrants FULLY adopt American values they collapse into being the same American product and the USA has to seek out superior immigrants to come to the USA again to start the cycle all over.
People can feel lonely even with people around or in a marriage or relationship. It’s knowing who you are as a person, mentally healing that can help to enjoy a conversation genuinely while getting to know a person. Social media, unhealthy distractions and over working are just some things that can possibly affect a person from even having any energy to connect with someone. Too much dopamine in the world today. Folks seem to want to meet to gossip, party and drink and that can be fake and a temporary fix to loneliness.
I’ve been working from home since COVID and as the highest producer on my sales team I get to keep it. It comes in handy as a single dad to handle responsibilities at home for my two kids every other week while I’m closing deals in my bedroom office. For the last 6 months I’ve been dealing with elevated anxiety, likely as a result of being isolated. I’m doing hybrid now which has helped. Not speaking for all remote workers, just my experience that resonates with this and after therapy this has been a contributing factor for my anxiety that just came out of nowhere. In a much better place now 🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@NewLife2028no that can be something but lonlieness as a whole is what OP said. Humans need socialization so we can express need and want. If we can’t we feel lonely
@@Boosted_aj ENGLISH causes loneliness at the societal level. The culture is designed by the language. English is pronoun-intense, creating the all about ¨me¨ and ¨I¨ as well as being centered from an established culture of extreme marketing, pirating and cultural assimilation by the language for a world empire. The truth is, English is a broken, limping pile of shit, in which going uptown or going downtown are ambiguous, for a mild example. In fact, the modal concepts are irrelevant and illogical. Moreover, the loneliness of being misunderstood comes from English because it has no register of depth or formality. It’s why the English ACT so posh because they have no real class. But again, I love a monolingual explaining to me how it can’t be English.
Imo, Building healthy relationships is by far the most challenging part of our lives to overcome. Im always on the path of learning to give compassion to others while building courage and discipline for myself.
Modern women literally don't care about modern men. Categorically. Their only response to any of this is to hector men for not "touching grass" and "talking to real women"... meanwhile those of us who made a point of doing both found out that the gap between how much women *say* they're open to being approached and how well they actually respond to it in practice is like a 40 foot crevasse.
Women have so many options with dating apps, it is the result of that. Now they can interact with great, succesfull men, just for sex, mainly, but in their naive mind, they think a serious relationship will happen at any moment (not true). That is why when you, as a normal guy, engage with these women, their attitude is the worst, you are treated as garbage
hard to listen if you are starving to death for communication. Which also leads to not being able to handle communication when finally the opportunity somewhat presents itself. Also hard to listen if you are getting so dead inside that you just don't care about anything anymore, you start to not be there even when with those you technically should be closest with.
In this day and age they say get out the house, meet new people, stop being shy just go make conversation with a stranger. And when you do , people are courteous but they seem slightly annoyed that you interrupted their time. You can feel that awkward tension. It's like you have to be a person of value for people to even look in your direction. I watch clips of nightclubs back in the 90's where there was no cell phones. Everyone was forced to conversate and have fun. I kind of wish I was born a bit earlier. These days no one calls or says hi to anyone anymore. I known my neighbors for years , the saddest thing I don't even know is their name?
yeah...sad but true...me don't think its going to get any better...but one thing I know, at least if you do get involved in something you like or love, there are real chances that you will meet likeminded people..right? why not try it ;)
Humans dont know how to communicate anymore. All it takes is a smile and being prepared to listen (regardless of whether you agree or not) and you have made a friend.
Loneliness in my experience is being around others that make you feel that way. Probably the main reason I try to not socialize anymore. Never ending cycle.
Same. There's a difference between being lonely and being alone. I love being alone but I don't necessarily feel lonely. Actually, in some instances I've felt lonely in the presence of others.
I've sunk to pretty low levels in my depression because my social life sucks but I won't ever choose them over me. I'm happier alone than suffering to keep the attention of a narcissistic shell.
I’ve been basically alone my whole life, mom walked out on us, family rejected me at my adolescence and I’ve just never been successful with friends and love. Whatever man, I’ve worked around it and picked up hobbies to keep my life active and happy. But it all requires money and my career provides that. Without that, yeah, I’d probably blow my Brains out. So money can buy happiness
Being alone and loneliness are two different things, I rather be alone than around people, i can count my true friends with one hand, my only social media is RUclips, and im on RUclips only in the afternoon when my day is done.
Yeah, all the stats are mostly correct. But what was fascinating is what most influencers do. They don't address the underlying real cause of this. Its not the phone, its not the loneliness. Its the dating market, and how it got jacked up because, again not the phone but fifty years of feminism. It's always something else never that. Good day everyone.
The only people I encounter anymore are at work and last time I tried hang out with a woman at work (I was very nice) I got pulled into HR the next day for harassment and reprimanded. I have one friend and we have a game night but he's married now and doesn't really have time to hang out anymore. I feel so lost most of the time.
Had a girl - dated for 5 years - graduated university and both started careers. She almost immedieately got this massive ego and then cheated. Im stuck with no answers, no reason, and zero dating prospects in the terrible dating world. It sucks.
![How We Became the Loneliest Generation [Documentary]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I19btmIBhx0/mqdefault.jpg)
I am a remodeling contractor who is in the clients home for an average of 2 to 3 weeks until the project is done. Been doing it for over a decade. One of the things that I've always noticed is how many Americans don't get family or friends visitors to their home. From low income to wealthy rich. People are lonely in this country.
Why would you have people over when you are in the middle of a remodel?
@@nathancarranza9860goodness there’s a part of your comment that is spot on about women wanting certain cut off for their “mental health” lol . Thought it was jus me but maybe it’s a thing . I’ve dated women and they want someone you’ve known for years cut off because they don’t feel comfortable. Like damn I have to pick between a woman I’ve only met for a few months now and a brother whose literally gotten me through hard times and kept me from being a statistic Pbd jus read ? No way
@@nathancarranza9860 My friend moved back to Argentina after 40 years in the U.S. She said she was at a gathering at her friend’s apartment late one night. Another friend happened to pass by on her bike, going home from somewhere. From the street she saw lights on and people on the balcony, so she stopped in and joined them. Here, if we aren’t invited, it’s rude to show up. Plus our feelings are hurt and we question our friendships.
@@nathancarranza9860 That’s sad. I’m a single professional woman. I have a lot of male friends through work. We talk about a lot of things and I value their advice. It’s not right to be cut off. I’m highly moral and not a threat to anyone’s marriage. I’d appreciate it if they and their wives would help me get married.
We had our house remodeled, and the workers became friends, they were so happy to be invited to lunch and have that prepared for them, we shared recipes, ended up visiting eachothers homes and going out for dinner...we even had a serviceman say to not worry about the bill because he felt so happy seeing a functional family of faith happy together and being invited into that briefly.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
~ Robin Williams RIP
To a hammer, everything is a nail.
Lonely? They just want a man and women to pay rent screw th a t
And he went out in brutal fashion! He wasn't playing at all
thanks for the generic quote posted on every single mental health video on youtube thats ever existed, wow SO DEEP, we need to get you a trophy dude.
@@johnfisher8401 I’m so happy you enjoyed it 🐓🍭
Trying to date is like trying to find a good car in the junk yard. Most people would rather walk.
That's 100% it.
You try to date by approaching people in your daily life, and you're greeted with awkwardness, annoyance, and avoidance.
You try to date using apps, and you're greeted by silence, scammers, and 1 word replies to messages (which you receive with startling infrequency).
So eventually you just go OK, screw this. I had my fill of this crap in junior high, thanks.
It's all about location. Finding good people to date is difficult, but there are good places to find them. A place of faith is one example. Online dating is something you need patience with. Eventually you'll find good people on there, it just takes forever.
@@franknacc1718I’m sorry but online dating will NEVER work.
😂😅👏
Amen
The crazy thing about this video is that I know this guy doesn’t feel lonely, but he gets it. He doesn’t need to feel lonely to understand that there are a lot of lonely people. I respect you a lot Pat. Thank you!
Best not to completely ignore the conflict of interest though.
AGREED. PAT & VALUETAINMENT CREW are (GREAT PEOPLE AND REAL NEWS👍👍)
#TRUMP4EVER #MAGA🇺🇲 #4MYRS
Yes, I felt the same way... Much respect to Pat! Love the guy !👍
You can be accompanied and feel alone, don't think that those of us who are accompanied do not experience loneliness from time to time.
He probably was lonely at some point.
I'd say mens numbers are under reported and women's numbers are over reported. Men don't want to admit to being lonely because they are usually shamed further for being alone where with women, there's more of a support system in place to kinda prevent their loneliness if they admit that they feel that way. Men kinda have to just act like they aren't alone until they decide to just be honest about it.
Then after being honest they're made to understand that no one actually cares anyways, so keeping it to yourself was the move all along.
It is literally pointless as a man trying to explain your own loneliness. No help will be offered. You won't even get sympathy. You'll just be told your loneliness is proof of your personal failings and that you deserve all the consequences thereof.
So you stop talking about it. And you stop listening to people when they say they care. Then pretty soon afterwards you stop caring.
(Not just about them, about everything. It happens by degrees at first, but soon enough the listlessness overrides all other emotion.)
And why women are overreported? I am sure these single crazy feminists act and say they are not lonely but they are!
@@Glambutfirstcoffee
The same reason why you "attempt" self-deletion so often without actually pulling it off.
It's about attention. Always.
@@ephraimwinslow This attitude isn't helping the conversation. Let's put blame aside for a minute.
@@user-og6hl6lv7p
A direct question was asked, and it was answered in turn.
Save some dry cleaning money and leave the white cape in the closet homey.
I didn't choose the lonely life, the lonely life chose me. That's been my life so far. People suck, don't care, and most of aren't interested in interacting with others.
Best to get used to that.
Social media and handheld devices have destroyed people's social skills, particularly the young, who've never known anything else. We're neurologically changed. People don't make the effort to engage, or invest time in relationships. We just socialize differently, and it's not an improvement at all. It's pseudo socializing.
Imagine an ocean with the same depth as a petri dish. That's social media.
Completely accurate observation, Relationships as a whole lack the depth they once had. Social media has resulted in self absorbed narcissists who have nothing to offer other people.
I think it goes back even further than the smart phone. I remember when people first started getting internet connected computers around 2001. They were always online. They didn't come out any more, and you couldn't get them on the phone because of the dial-up service.
@@KewrockI was a kid through the 2000’s and yes even though computers and games were a thing then…kids were still way more socially active and open rather than now after social media
Social media have nothing, i repeat, nothing to do with this. It's always been that way. But if are you talking about marriage, well... wtf? You mixing socializing and flirting.
The root of this is social media. Period. I'd bet the loneliness and single household chart is almost identical to the rise in computing power. There is no more genuine human interaction in person. Older folk are better than this. I worked valet at a hotel in college and it was always the older folks who took the time to speak to me and get to know me, even if it was just during a short trip to their room. And this will not get better. Nobody is seeking natural avenues of dopamine.
Yikes...you said it so well !!
Best comment you see for real
Take a look at Jonathan Haidt’s findings on the correlation between high-speed digital communication technologies (social media and smartphones) becoming more and more widespread and permeating through society and the suicide rates for young boys and girls. It is absolutely beyond bleak. You’re spot on.
In a lot of ways thats true. If we go back to caveman days in a minute most of this "trouble" would vanish in a nano sec.
No I asked out 10 girls and they all said no I have no socials
took 6 years to care for my mom because i didn't want her in a home. i was working full time and was so engaged. exhausted and tired but full of energy. i had purpose. then she passes away (at home thankfully). i still had kinship and purpose at my employer, until they gave me a severance. i have now been in empty house for 2 years, with no purpose and no real understanding of what i am to do. its painful but i can endure. i just wish i knew what my purpose is... but i guess everyone kinda wonders the same thing. God bless you all, and remember as painful as it can get you are never really all alone.
Head up man
Good for you taking care of your mom. I couldn’t take care of my dad. It wouldn’t have been safe, anyway. But every weekend I visited him at the facility, and it was like a family. I stated with my mom and stepdad on weekends because I live 90 minutes away. I was busy, engaged, and had purpose. When my dad died, I felt lonely again in addition to the grief of loss.
I feel you bro, just keep enduring
Biggest honor of my life as RN was taking care of my mom R.I.P. 💐 she gave me life and ❤️.
🥰💪
Our economy struggling with uncertainties, housing issues, foreclosures, global fluctuations, and pandemic aftermath, causing instability. Rising inflation, sluggish growth, and trade disruptions need urgent attention from all sectors to restore stability and stimulate growth.
Things are strange right now. The US dollar is becoming less valuable because of inflation, and other powerful nations waking up to trade in their own currencies. Good thing is, a lot of people still turn to the Dollar because of the safety is somehow assures. I'm worried about my retirement savings of about $420,000 losing value because of these factors and more. Where else can we keep our money?
Well, I suggest you make a diversification plan because it's been harder to build a good portfolio that stays afloat since COVID. Personally, I garner knowledge from a brokerage Adviser whom I work with, and I've actually made over $350K with their help since February. Very effective defensive strategies are used to protect my portfolio and make profits despite the ups and downs.
@@Nernst96 Do you mind sharing info on the adviser who assisted you?
My financial advisor is 'COLLEEN ROSE MCCAFFERY'. I found her on an interview where she was featured Afterwards I reached out to her on her webpage. she has since then provided me with entry and exit points in securities I focus on.
I just looked her up on the internet and found her webpage with her credentials. I wrote her outlining my financial objectives and planned a call with her.
some of the biggest backstabbers in my life have been people that used to call me their best friend. They turn into very selfish individuals that take and take and never give. Its better to be by yourself and better yourself than going out to meet potentially toxic people.
Same
100%. Self improvement is a lonely but worthwhile path.
Yeah I’ve experienced this. Then if you call them out on anything they just gaslight or make you feel like you’re the problem. No one needs that in their life. Being in my 30s now I refuse to have any kind of toxic relationship. I need peace in my life.
I think a major factor in loneliness is that we rarely share common experiences. Back in the old days, there were only a few TV channels. What this meant was that we all watched the same TV shows. This allowed us to be able to relate to one another at least at that level. Now days, each person programs their own TV network just for themselves and only in rare instances do people see the same shows. I know this idea is kind of trivial, but I think it makes a big difference. I experience this in the workplace were all of us old farts can reminisce about the old crappy shows we used to watch. The younger people don't seem able to share that kind of experience.
Yes, popular culture is very fractured nowadays.
Good observation. Thinking about it, it is easier to:
Watch your own shows/entertainment as you said
Listen to your own niche music (every artist ever at your fingertips always - not just radio)
Local communities do not work in the same area - better cars/transport-more commuting, remote work, WFH
Generally less real life experience - nobody is going to talk about their week if all they did is scroll on their phone during time off
It’s also way easier/can feel more relaxing to instantly get dopamine hits from a device than spend time and energy going out, even if you usually have a memorable time
also lots of people just rot on the phone all day long especially at lunch, been to worksites where 15guys sit in 1 room all on the phone being complete bots, after 2 weeks of me being there few join the convo and by few moths everyone is talking, no one wants to be on the phone everyone wants to say funny shit and have a good time its just so hard these days especialy if u dont have leaders to lead the way... soon as i get in lunch room i start saying extreme fucked up shit to get people to laugh and boom everyone is way happier right away
So in other words, a weekly episode of Gilligan's Island was the glue that once held the fabric of society together. 🤔 Or Batman, I liked Batman too.
It ain't trivial bro. On the contrary, I found your comment quite enlightening.
Let’s be clear. Living alone does not equate to loneliness. I’ve lived alone for almost 6 years and never have I felt lonely. I believe loneliness is a symptom of something deeper.
I’m in the same boat, alone but never lonely. I like the short engagements & some gatherings, but nothing compares to being alone. I have some of my best thoughts, & feel more at ease. Time & the bills don’t care about me being lonely or not, so neither do I.
Yep, well said. It's even better if you've been around toxic people a lot. Whether family or an ex.
@patgarrett9454 What an incredibly closed minded and naive viewpoint towards people that have stable lives and feel secure enough to finally start building a family. The steps you just listed out are the most natural timelines for responsible adults that are smart with their time and money. Wanting kids is only natural, especially when your life is in order and financially stable.
@@SeraphimDragonwell complain shouldn't exist about that choice here we are
Yeah there are definitely a lot of people that are very happy and comfortable spending most of their time on their own, me being one of those, I'm a sigma male. But from time to time I realise the extremely important value of being able to meet up or talk on the phone to a friend l maybe haven't had contact with for months. Knowing that I can do this allows me to be myself and not fake it every week down the pub. Totally agree with most of the video though. Families seem to be breaking down and it seems to be down to social media and the plandemic.
This 100%. Being single in this world is a liability in many ways. Trying to keep friendships is impossible and people just seem transactional. I would have never thought that I would have zero friends at this point in life. Typically you start to weed out the good from the bad at my age, but without anyone to weed out, its just depressing.
There is, I think, a selfishness epidemic as well that coincides with the loneliness epidemic. You can try and be the best friend in the world to people, but they just take what they can from you until you are no longer useful to them, and then they drop you like a bag of cocaine at the white house, never to claim you again.
Yeah, I was thinking this recently. I actually have zero friends. I have acquaintances, but nobody seems to want to make the transition to friendship. I think it's just partially due to the era we are in currently. I feel things were not this bad in the 80's.
@@D1Snrhave you tried to engage with others through various social activities? Just curious.
@@sanitary103 I have tried and continue to try but I just can't connect with people on a real personal level. Anybody that knows me will say I'm polite, helpful and 'nice'. But I just don't have that attractive quality that makes others want to spend time with you. I have a sibling who is the complete opposite and seems to make friends everywhere he goes. I just hate the fact that I could die without people knowing what a good friend I could be to someone.
It's not selfishness per-se, there is a large amount of 'resource-extraction' going on in western nations. females are seeking to do it to their male partners, business are nickel and diming their customers at every turn, the government pushes the envelope a little further in each of our countries.
Everyone is falling into a mindset of survival which turns to resource extraction and hoarding.
😮
Married for a full 18 months and divorced only 35 years. I enjoy my 'alone' time immeasurably. I haven't felt 'lonely', but I would guess it is sad. Get up, get out, volunteer, have two bands, work full time and keep in touch with friends and family, virtually and in person. I'm like my Mother, I talk to everyone, whether they like it or not. It's a great big wonderful earth out there - no time for 'lonely'. I think we should live our best life doing what we like and meet people along the way. You must be a good friend to get a good friend. Be generous and help when you can.
Hey Patrick, I'm currently a senior in college and I've encountered some of the same challenges when it comes to socializing. Despite my efforts to engage with others, whether at bars, in classes, the gym, or during everyday interactions with people around my age (18-22 age), I've found it quite frustrating. It seems that many individuals lack the ability to have a conversation or they don’t even try. As a result, conversations often become awkward and fizzle out rapidly. I feel like I’m a wasp in a beehive, and the bees know I’m not supposed to be here. I don’t see how anyone can solve this problem.
I have had problems socializing with that age group. I started sharing my stories from high school, and then they start sharing theirs. Also I found that talking about your first phone is another way to break the ice. It takes practice, but eventually it gets easier. You might get a lot of silence at first, but if you see after 15 minutes nothing happens, move on to the next one.
Dude, i feel you. Super Jump online training really help me with being open and happy. And after that i became more social, creating my own communities.
cos most people realize socializing is a waste of time. conversation awkward and fizzle out = fck off, dont disturb me, stop forcing conversations on people who are not interested.
Best advice is find a hobby and within that hobby you'll find someone else with the same hobby and you can make friends that way or get a job and slowly make friends there but this isn't the best place to find friends at times. But not having company to share with anyone isn't all that bad because you get to enjoy time and space at your leisure but of course it's always nice to share that with someone else too.
I honestly think that because of social media and our smart phones, no one knows how to socialize anymore. We NEVER had this in the 80s as young people
When covid first hit, I had just moved to a new state and didnt have too many friends. This came with a hard breakup of a long term relationship I had... I threw myself fully into my job and getting into fitness... but I didnt realize how slowly I was becoming isolated, socially awkward and losing my confidence.. My days started to blend together... everyday was the same, Id wake up tired without any motivation, go to work, come home, train, play video games and sleep... over and over.... I was falling apart. Ive slowly taken steps to increase my confidence, got back to school and im trying to be social again. Its hard and I hope I succeed... I am afraid that I wont
You got this. God bless you.
@@sikcat7 thank you , I will try my best :)
@@MrFernandogj the worst thing you can do is think about all this...IGNORING is the best advice i.e. open up to others people needs and soon you wont have time to think so much about yourself! working on yourself is also thinking about yourself all the time! do the opposite! show mercy to others
I feel you! I moved and left all my friends across the country! Soooo😭
😂💀🙏
You'll be fine because you've taken the proper actions. Sitting and thinking for 3 minutes is not as effective as going outside for 3 minutes and doing activity.
If doing the same thing gets you a certain result then do something different and you will guarantee to get a different result. You're doing exactly what you're doing...
It will work out just keep at it.
People at the gym are busy ignoring each other. It was that way even 30 years ago. Plus nowadays they have their earbuds in. Nothing signals “don’t talk to me” like earbuds.
From right before Covid to now I’ve lost like 80% of the circle of people I talk to. I’ve lost friends, co-works, and some have died . Sometimes I go a couple days without talking to anyone. It’s just me in my head.
I think you should work on changing that. Good luck to you.
There is an aspect to the loneliness epidemic in America that no one is talking about. This may sound strange coming from me a married man with three children but I am an active observer. People today are way too proud and too arrogant to answer text, email, DM, or even phone calls. so many people have this over inflated ego problem that they’re too good for the average human being. But you have to remember whether you’re male or female you will get older, you will get heavier, your body will slow down you will not stay a supermodel forever. So walking around with a over inflated ego full of pomp, it will lead you into a dark corner of loneliness later on. Social media, Instagram, and other inappropriate websites have given people over inflated appraisals for themselves. Everyone thinks they’re a perfect 10 when actually, they are just average. So it boils down to a lot of narcissism and egotistical behavior that has facilitated all of this
This is sooo true. I moved to a more prominent area of my town about a year ago and had no friends so I set out to make some. I was mocked brutally and shamed for wanting connection and I was treated like the village desperado. People performed background checks on me, I was iced out socially and it was horrible!! I cannot understand even why…but I know for 100% sure that the same people are dying of loneliness.
Very true. It's the same in big cities in canada
Absolutely. There's a victim mentality tied to this too
What I’ve learned through my life’s research:
Anytime I tried keeping friends via social media, they were less likely to want to meet in person.
So I deleted social media off my phone so I can see people in person.
Just got off of a cruise ship 10/22/2023 and the percentage of people GLUED to their devices while on VACATION was staggering. In the hot tub, swimming pool, at meal time, walking through the ship staring at their phone. The phone has become the drug of choice. I don't know how many times I wanted to say put your phone down and spend time with the person that you came with and not the stupid device. My phone was turned off on the day leaving port and did not turn on until the return. Even then, I just made sure that there were no emergencies to reply to. I don't do social media on the phone either. The only usage for the phone is calls and texts. That's it. It would be great to go back to MA BELL on the wall.
Ma Bell, is running out of area codes..I used to work for PACIFIC TELEPHONE
All they have to do is add another number and that will help. 🤗
@@kathleenking47
Men is definitely underreported
I'm in my 50's now and despite trying so hard to make friends since my youth, I'd say that most humans are not very nice. It's certainly gotten worse, most guys just don't seem to want to know, whether it be at a gym, motorcycle club or any other interest that we may share. Apart from my wife who I've been happily married to for decades, I don't have any male friend.
I totally get why some people surround themselves with animals, you know exactly where you stand with them.
I find that very sad that a lot of men don't have male or female friends beside their wife...at least get out of the house and go and do something! go to the gym...sadly lots of women are so jealous as to encourage their husbands to do everything "at home " Go out and do stuff ! 🕊
@@sunflower-oo1ff My wife is great on that front, she wishes that I had a friend or two to see when she's with her's but I do know that others aren't like that. Those men are weak for being allowed to be treated like that if you ask me.
@@steveclark.. Agree 👍🕊
Same boat as you with male friends but getting divorced in 2020 adds a whole other dynamic. No close male friends and no wife and no pets. It’s only been 3 years but I’m gradually getting use to being alone.
@@twodogs257 Sorry to hear that, I feel for you man, I hope that you can find another partner/wife at least.
I think the increase of loneliness si somehow related to people using smartphones and the rise of social media. People thinking they have followers and friends when in actuality 99% of those people would not care if you are struggling with depression or loneliness. I think no amount of followers can replace real friends and family.
Groundbreaking observation, I've never heard loneliness be attributed to social media before.
When your are backstabbed by the people you loved, it’s hard to trust new relationships. In addition, Covid did a number on a lot of people. I will say that Covid trauma is real. Some people never recovered from the mental health issues that came with it. Being forced to isolate cost a lot of friendships and relationships.
I'm so lonely it's just normal now...My phone doesn't ring, I know none of my neighbors (despite trying), no one visits, I got nowhere to go and no one to go there with.
This is why I encourage my adult boys to stay in the home. They are not psychologically ready to be out there alone never mind unaffordability of living too. Stop pushing/telling kids they need to be on their own, the world is a different place than when we were 20 (I'm 55).
I understand your viewpoint but when kids don’t go out into the real world and get hurt, they never develop a pain tolerance. So when they finally get a paper cut, they cry, instead of the man who did go out into the real world, got hurt and persevered through the pain, now when something similar happens, it won’t be as painful. It’ll still hurt, but you can muscle through that pain.
Most cultures live in the family unit until the grown kids marry. There’s no push out of the nest. Might be better than what our society does
You had 18 years! You say you failed?
You tell your adult boys they are not ready for the real world? Way to make them fearful of the outside world and mentaly week in dealing with real life situations.
@JRP026 they don't need to live far away from their parents to adjust to painful situations.. my colleagues of work by themselves have made me an iron man.
For me, the loneliness I feel is simply because I'm single and I yearn for a like minded companion. Its not all the time, in fact its rare and comes in waves every once in a blue moon. I see friends and family with girlfriends and wives and it hurts when we're all out on the town and I'm the 11th wheel. Then I remember I have a job I love, a strong friend and family unit, I've just lost 70lbs, I've gotta roof over my head, food in my stomach and a little coin in my pocket. Above all else, I remember how much the Lord loves me and sees value in my life where others may not. That alone really takes the loneliness out of me and keeps me pushing forward. There are so many people who have it far worse than me and the hopelessness goes away when I remember how fortunate I am for God to have blessed me with the things I have in life.
Find a church
Seeing the other couples is why you want it. You see them looking happy being together and you "want" it too. I had this issue. Think of it like this. Say you are a child. You have a toy you don't play with, and one day another child starts playing with and is having lots of fun. You will instantly want to have fun too, and demand to play with the toy as well. You will quickly remember why you stopped playing with that toy and move on. It sounds callous, but I find it's true.
god doesn't exist
It’s better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel lonely!
Yes that's always a fine line. Do you surround yourself with people who don't really care for you just to be social or you stay alone to keep away from those who are not good for you... Difficult.
Bot comment
I couldn't have said it better myself.
The loneliest I've ever been was 4 years into my marriage. Isolated from my friends and family and living with a woman that had visceral hatred for me. Now I've been single for 5 years with 2 kids and this is the least lonely I've ever felt. It's unfortunate that men and women can't come together and just decide to live separately and have kids together with equal rights to their kids.
i fucking wish this would be the case. I want kids without the woman. but im also not selfish and woudlnt want to do that to the kids. thats also true people think those that are married or with girlfriend arent lonely but you can be thee most lonely in those relationships. Its the same when you look at rich people u think they have the life u want until you really see what they go through.
I'm in the same boat. My kids are enough for me
It is unfortunate that men and women can't get along and people have to be immature and afraid of growth or admitting fault
Sounds like you were with a narcissist, rejoice everyday that you escaped from them.
This sounds like the opposite of a solution tbh
I work with this girl that has a depressive disorder and i tell her to exercise and do things to treat herself nice and she tells me. "I've always been like this and idgaf." I think a lot of people like being miserable because it's easy and they don't even know anything else.
There are many people in this world that are so traumatized and miserable. It’s all they know.
And they seek to recreate misery wherever they can, simply due to the fact, that is what is familiar and comfortable to them.
They want misery
Yes, death is easier than life. Hate easier than love. Nihilism easier than hope.
@@rustyshackleford6637 hope is a lie, nihilism has nothing to do with hope, nihilism is simply a statement that nothing has meaning which is true, the worship of death started with feminist movement and will end with them however what prevents 90% of humans from getting rid of this evil is cowardice yes they are cowards intellectually, morally, ethically,...etc cowards! And worst of some are proud being cowards.
This just made me feel even more lonely. Never really had that many deep friendships. Lost a friend and mentor two weeks ago and another friend last week. I dont do social media because it seems phony to me. Fortunately I do have a spouse and kids. I'm also normally an introvert but you will find me cheerful and conversational when out and about. Having suffered from deep loneliness in my teens, 20s and 30s, I know the worst thing you can do is shut in and pine away for a better day. Get out there and try to live a better life. Even if that means going for a walk in a blizzard instead of staying home and wasting time online.
Indeed, we introverts still need to socialize. Sometimes the only way to recharge our batteries is by draining them, and that means getting out and getting uncomfortable.
Introvert here as well. Not being lonely is tough work. It means going out and building relationships, but it's so hard to build them the older you get. Also, if you get in the wrong group of people, you will feel way more lonely than actually being by yourself. For me, it's not worth it.
Y O U... Have a "Wife & Kids... More than ONE. You have love Beaming your way. I Subpose you'll complain about anything.
I try to embrace all the things I hear people bitching about in the world
Two of your friends died in two weeks??
I’ve been taking all of my classes for college online this semester and it’s been tough having no social interaction. This video helped me in deciding whether or not to go back on campus.
People have very poor coping skills - because they've been coddled and spoiled. I'm lonesome sometimes but I'd much rather be lonely than deal with all the drama and BS that's going on in society today.
Feeling lonely and being lonely are two different things.
I don't agree with the gym part. People go to a gym to workout, not to socialize. A lot of gyms are setup like fast food restaurants. They're designed to get people in and out asap. There's a lot of stereotypes about socializing and gyms that are basically not true in most cases. I do agree with Pat when it comes to starting conversation with others, as well as showing interest in them. That is becoming harder and harder to do now. I lot of folks have checked out of reality. You can't get through to them. If you do, some will engage in conversation. The problem is that there is no possibility of connect because either the line is already cut, or simply doesn't exist within them anymore.
I agree people should focus on their workouts, resting for one minute between sets, not blabbing and standing around (or even sitting on machines!) distracting others and getting in their way. But they could still be friendly and have camaraderie in the weight room, and have a conversation while they’re on a cardio machine.
Going out to dance..is a way to fo both.
West coast swing. And dances like that, burns calories
It's hard to find those places
It's like saying "Go out to the Mall and start talking to random people". LOL .
I lived in a small town for long enough to feel comfortable just making eye contact with strangers when they walked toward me on the sidewalk and saying "hi" as they passed. When I moved to a larger town (75,000 pop), I kept doing that, though some people seemed intimidated by that and looked away quickly when I made eye contact with them. Lately, I've noticed that people won't even look at me to start with, not even a glance. It's like they're making a conscious effort to not look at me. It's a subtle but profound difference.
Some millennials and younger deliberately avoid eye contact in the hall at the office. It’s scathingly rude and disrespectful not to say “Good morning” or “Hello” when passing someone.
Sounds like you're a very attractive person and when people come across you it's kind of like looking at the sun for them. Just too beautiful and powerful they have to turn away l, lest they turn into a pillar of salt.
If this is the case, you can always neutralize the power you emit by putting on a Joe Biden mask.
Oh wait ...
@@genxx2724social media and the news media inducing paranoia had affected the perception and consciousness of the minds of people.
Maybe that's the reason no one young wants to engage, you'll find anything to feel disrespected. lol, smh. @@genxx2724
@@genxx2724😂😂😂😂
In my experience, before and even more so after Covid, doctors just make educated guesses as to what your ailment is, and experiment with pills until something happens. I was young and naïve, I was pumped full of pills for years when all I needed to do was diet and exercise to get better
I miss the good 'ole days back when I had faith in *even one* of the institutions I'm meant to rely on.
Now it's all gone. I trust not one of them, and I have yet to be given a good reason to revise that stance.
Most illnesses can be cured with diet and exercise, even cancer. The medical industry is a fraud.
Exactly! they are pill pushers and so many problems of the people in the country are related to pills. I personally believe that all the shootings are caused by the side effects of the antidepressants and antipsychotics that are so widely prescribed.
I was on max dose zoloft antidepressant from 16 years old to 19yo
I used to say it really helped me… however I actually think it was rather just the natural process of being a teenager.
None of my doctors ever told me it’s common to feel anxious/depressed/stressed as a pubescent teen boy. I had to do my own research to find out many people feel the same and it will go away naturally
Everyone just instantly gets put on pills. Funny thing is when I quit the pills my symptoms never came back. Obviously they didnt cure me of depression lol
meeting too many toxic people too frequently, has caused me to recluse and stick to my fiancé, sister and parents. I have one friend I try to stay in contact with.
What’s weird is my neighbor and his wife are close to our age, but because he was so forward, it was a bit much. I didn’t trust it. Suggested we go into business together after talking for less then 30 minutes combined, the few times we’ve caught each other outside. It just seemed too forward. And I’m a talker. But when it comes to letting people in my life, beyond just cordial conversations, I’m hesitant.
People are shitty, and rather join the crowd and use people as extensions of myself…I’ll sit back. People will show their true selfs when they think you’re weak. My relationship with God and family are more important.
Social media has ruined so many relationships. That's basically it💯
Being alone is such a blessing at times. I'm glad that I live on a boat with no drama around me.
Stoicism. 👍🏻
same. i look at people that are married and just feel sorry for them. you already know in ur mind theres going to be so much arguing and you have to be careful now cause half ur shit is on the line so dont get too frustrated in the argument cause she can leave and take half lmao fuck that world bro who the fuck really buys into that life? brainwashed society keeping up with the joneses. people that get married are doing it to show off or make their peers proud. I bet you 1 / 100 people that get married are truly deeply in love. i dont buy it to be honest. I also dont see the value in having a girl with you all the time unless u want kids. if u dont want kids its irrelevant they just cost u time and money and theres no up side other then the occasional sex but you can just jerk off so again i dont get it. lmao.
Do you play the I'm on a boat song?
😅
Not on a boat but I love living alone
Also loneliness is not the same as isolation or being alone. You can have everything you need and still feel lonely.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. You can be lonely in a crowd; and you can be content being alone. As a matter of fact, there’s no feeling worse than being lonely with your mate.
@@genxx2724 I think PBD was trying to promote better health without actually understanding what it means. He kept saying find a partner and all will be fine!!! This is what resonated to me.
@@jessaabraham I’d love to be married. I always wanted to be married, but guys never treated me right.
People disappoint me, money will never stress me. I think I’ll be just fine.
@@genxx2724 You need to recognize your worth, don't settle, work on yourself. Else, I can't give anymore advice. Also trying to meet someone, there seems to be nobody around that could be suitable. Maybe I am in the wrong place. But where else to go, that's the question. They say opportunities are needed to find love. How to create these opportunities and where that's the question.
When there is a person in your life who you know has your back and will always be there for you. Its the best feeling in the world. Its too bad that a lot of people dont have that and they try to make up excuses for being alone.
And when that person breaks your heart your world is sharted, some of us recover from it and some never do even when they want to. That's just life!
Big difference between loneliness and just being ALONE.
... and LOVING IT ❤️❤️❤️
I was pretty introverted growing up so when Covid hit I was used to being alone. A man should stand alone like people who live off the grid. It makes you stronger. Only my opinion.
AMEN
We introverts were so happy during Safer at Home. For once we had a reprieve from the pressure and shame of being home alone.
No it doesn't make you stronger
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”
To some degree, yes, and as a woman, I certainly admire that attitude in a man ;) but really, if you can find yourself a loving partner, its much better ...I didn't say perfect, but its just easier to go through life. Like you said, " Only my opinion. " 🕊
A lot of people are in a uncertain state , can be hard to be friendly…
I agree, I was able to find a men's support group. I would say 80 percent have never sought out therapy and just about everyone get poop from family and friends for going to a men's group. I have friends who feels the same as I do but won't go to therapy or group because of the stigma. I am middle aged. We catch hell for even the thought of seeking much needed help. Where women are encouraged to. Men need help too.
Are you talking about a therapy group or like just a social group?
@krystelhardesty9960 it's not ran by a therapist, but yes, like a therapy group. We sit in a circle and talk about our feelings and what is going on in our lives. We provide support for another and work on solutions. We cry, we laugh all that good stuff. Like an AA group minus the booze and a book.
Glad you’re strong enough to ignore the negativity and focus on yourself
How did you find a support group like this?
Definitely can add to the loneliness here. Single, male and 39 years of age. Nobody engages anymore, it's very strange and unsettling at times. I notice it especially at the gym. I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago and seem to be making progress. In person though, not talking to a screen like betterhelp which is advertised everywhere all the time. I hope to see people start to realize what tech has done to the mind and are also engaging in helpful videos like this. I'm glad to see we're finally looking into this topic.
Save every penny you have and move to the Philippines.
yeah that was a cringe upsell by PBD
@@MrSky10101 running away ism't going to solve this issue. If you don't know how to talk to people here, you won't know how to interact with women there, where they're more "submissive". Plus I ain't going to move to the Philippines lol
@@467076so is the only solution to wait out this social cultural rot to collapse cus that may never happen.
@@467076 Good point and good response ! 👌
I hope this message finds you well and brings a smile to your face. I wanted to take a moment to remind you of how truly amazing you are. Your strength, resilience, and kindness never cease to amaze me. Life may have its ups and downs, but your unwavering spirit continues to shine through.
In the moments when you doubt yourself, please remember that you are loved, cherished, and valued by so many, myself included. Your presence in my life has brought immeasurable joy, and I am grateful for every day we share.
No matter what challenges may come your way, always know that you have the power to overcome them. Your potential is boundless, and your dreams are within reach. Keep believing in yourself, for you are capable of achieving incredible things.
As we journey through life together, I want you to remember that you are never alone. I am here for you, cheering you on, supporting you, and loving you with all my heart.
keep your head held high, embrace each day with hope, and continue to be the amazing person you are. The world is a brighter place because of you, and I am blessed to have you in my life.
Hey RUclips, This individual WILLFULY & KNOWINGLY. Acted as if he knew us , PERSONALLY ! (( which is NOT Truthful. ) & Does RUclips WANT to have multiple suicides. In a COURT of law, PINNED ON IT ? Because YOU Cancelled. Someone reaching out for help ? Go for it.
yessss
"Thank you so much for shedding light on this important issue, Pat! The loneliness epidemic is a serious health crisis that not many people are aware of, and it's crucial that we start having more conversations about it. Your insights and perspective are greatly appreciated. Let's come together and find ways to combat this silent epidemic and create a more connected and inclusive society. Keep up the great work!"
Each person needs to make a contribution. It's rare to find people who show a real interest in somebody, want the best for them. Mainly people want some benefit out of people.
I blame cell phones and the internet. While it is very valuable, it's also too convenient. It makes the need for interacting almost nil.
45% of women are married so that removes nearly half the women from dating pool. 8% of women are lesbian. 18% have an STD. 40% of women are obese. 12% are addicts. Women carry average of $68,000 in debt, 30% higher than men. 41% of single women have kids. 56% of women are divorced. These numbers alone make for a small dating pool, but trying to find attraction and similar mindset is almost impossible.
Im certain the male percentages aren’t great either. We can all start by losing weight and getting financially stable.
I definitely agree that a lot of it’s because of technology. Interacting with someone on a cell phone or a laptop is not the same as face to face interaction. Also, nowadays you can literally never leave your house and have everything you need delivered to you. And then when you actually do go out in public and attempt to meet new people everyone has their face buried in their phones. Our society encourages us to seek more stuff and more status in order to gain more satisfaction, which is not the answer. In reality deep quality relationships with other people is what makes life enjoyable.
It happened to me so sparsely that I didn’t equate the cause and effect. I'm taking my dog, a minischaunzer to the ballpark for his daily walk. Took me a second to get the lead out of the car and the little man was excited. Karen comes out of nowhere and starts with her bullshit about the dog being off the lead. I told her to shut the fuck up and stop breathing until she died and went to hell! Happened again with a crazy old man with his dog on a 20' rope. Lots of profanity, old dude in my face hoping I´d punch him. Two more incidents, including getting someone arrested and deported back to Mexico. So, I´m the FIRST one to lance out now. I´m the FIRST one to hate with all the bitterness of Satan´s fury. Had some tall, handsome liberal tard go off on me for my MAGA hat in a Hobby Lobby. Americans simply HATE each other now. I'd like to start a friendship with a commitment to the friendship. No more casual bumping into someone. They´re all NUTS!
I've been without my only family member, my daughter, for three years. It's a slow agonizing death. I'm 51 and a teenager is killing me. Nothing I do will bring her home. Loneliness is embarrassing as well
I’m confused
Great video, PBD is not only a gangsta but a compassionate human. One thing helpful for loneliness and depression is to avoid engaging on social media with narcissists who constantly trumpet their thousands of friends and rich, meaningful lives that they club you over the head with. These people are very common online. In general you have to avoid people who badger or pressure you to "get over it". Also the main ideas of stoicism are helpful: we are all born alone and we all die alone. Everyone, even the social media ho's who simp for likes and approval is essentially alone.
Remember, with social media you’re comparing your blooper reel to everyone else’s highlight reel. People present a false image of themselves. Nobody ever tells about spending all weekend cleaning out the garage.
@@genxx2724... or feeling terminally helpless, depressed or lonely. Exc point.
People need to do service work. It’s very rewarding ❤
Good point !!
When I was younger I use to go to the gym. It was a real social community. I recently got a gym membership and was horrified to see that nobody wanted to talk to one another. Everyone had ear buds in listening to music and did not want to interact with others. I no longer go to the gym anymore.
People can be busy and lonely at the same time. You can be around people but feel alone.
That’s insane. I moved when I was 19/20 yrs old and was pretty much forced too. I had three best friend’s and about 10 guys I considered my close friend’s. I’ve never been able to recuperate from that, on any level. It’s sad.
This message needs to be more popular.
Im 33 and ive been single my whole life. I have bad social anxiety and it seems to worsen as i get older. 5 years ago i was nowhere near this bad. I use the app to order dominoes because i dont want to physically talk to someone on the phone. Im a seller on ebay so I physically dont have to leave my house and be social with the exception being the post office. I have 2 ride or die best friends who both live within 2 miles of me. One of them literally lives a block away from me and inised to hang out and bs constantly, now not as much but instill talk to them daily but my saving grace is video games. Its literally the glue that keeps my psyche together. My mentality in life is i have my 2 bfs and around 7 other friends and my close family and thats all i need. Theres no point in having more. Its more effort i have to put into those relationships and i just dont want to. I know its wrong i guess but depression and social anxiety is a hell of a combo.
I’m on the same boat. SA my whole life now I turn 30 next month and I still haven’t had a relationship. That’s life though. It could be worse.
PBD brilliantly implementing Hegelian Dialectical therapy with this 20 min vid. Well played!
Loneliness > Bad Relationship
I've learned to get used to being alone. Nobody is truly a friend, just acquaintances.
Yep the only people I care about is my family and fuck my co workers and old friends.
This is one of those times where being a minority is a plus, you are bounded tightly together by your community and your social circle. Community matters, when you're outside walking around and your neighbor calls you in for tea and you are asked about your parents, your career, your relationships...that matters. When you are sick and the lonely old woman who lives 10 minutes away brings you soup, that means something. When you go to Temple and the monk knows who you are and who your parents are it is significant. When you celebrate lunar new year and the whole neighborhood stops by at midnight to wish you luck and they bring red envelopes...it is something you dont forget. A strong culture shapes lives and positively impacts everyone
It's all about respect. If you have none it dont matter where you are nobody will do anything for you. Especially if you haven't done anything for anybody else.
Very good point.
@@bikelifepov9617That isn’t reality. Many people are wonderful people and no one wants to be their friend.
Where are they a majority? Where are they a minority?
Ethnic Black-Americans (as opposed to immigrants blacks from Africa like Nigerians) have possibly the highest murder rate in this country. It is a predatory society.
What you are speaking of, are immigrants, as yes, immigrants are superior to Americans. Imagine in NFL team that always and forever gets defeated on what should be its home field advantage. That is the dojo of the USA, a McDojo that immigrant dojos kick the s__t out of in their own American dojo. Americans are so dumb they actually brag about this.
When the immigrants FULLY adopt American values they collapse into being the same American product and the USA has to seek out superior immigrants to come to the USA again to start the cycle all over.
This is so much better and informative than mainstream media news.
Thank you for the work 👏🏼 you are doing amazing work
People can feel lonely even with people around or in a marriage or relationship.
It’s knowing who you are as a person, mentally healing that can help to enjoy a conversation genuinely while getting to know a person. Social media, unhealthy distractions and over working are just some things that can possibly affect a person from even having any energy to connect with someone.
Too much dopamine in the world today.
Folks seem to want to meet to gossip, party and drink and that can be fake and a temporary fix to loneliness.
I’ve been working from home since COVID and as the highest producer on my sales team I get to keep it. It comes in handy as a single dad to handle responsibilities at home for my two kids every other week while I’m closing deals in my bedroom office. For the last 6 months I’ve been dealing with elevated anxiety, likely as a result of being isolated. I’m doing hybrid now which has helped. Not speaking for all remote workers, just my experience that resonates with this and after therapy this has been a contributing factor for my anxiety that just came out of nowhere. In a much better place now 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Loneliness isn’t about having no people around you but the inability to express what is important to you to others.
It´s really about being surrounded by people you´d rather not know.
@@NewLife2028no that can be something but lonlieness as a whole is what OP said. Humans need socialization so we can express need and want. If we can’t we feel lonely
@@Boosted_aj How do you know? Are you monolingual?
@@Boosted_aj ENGLISH causes loneliness at the societal level. The culture is designed by the language. English is pronoun-intense, creating the all about ¨me¨ and ¨I¨ as well as being centered from an established culture of extreme marketing, pirating and cultural assimilation by the language for a world empire. The truth is, English is a broken, limping pile of shit, in which going uptown or going downtown are ambiguous, for a mild example. In fact, the modal concepts are irrelevant and illogical. Moreover, the loneliness of being misunderstood comes from English because it has no register of depth or formality. It’s why the English ACT so posh because they have no real class. But again, I love a monolingual explaining to me how it can’t be English.
I don't really think it's others job to listen to you express what is important. They owe you nothing, just like you owe them nothing.
Imo, Building healthy relationships is by far the most challenging part of our lives to overcome. Im always on the path of learning to give compassion to others while building courage and discipline for myself.
Modern women literally don't care about modern men. Categorically.
Their only response to any of this is to hector men for not "touching grass" and "talking to real women"... meanwhile those of us who made a point of doing both found out that the gap between how much women *say* they're open to being approached and how well they actually respond to it in practice is like a 40 foot crevasse.
do opposite of what a girl says. theyre the most tricky people in the world . and the most nasty.
@Viper-ms9egprobably the case...😢 whats the right skin color?🎉
Women have so many options with dating apps, it is the result of that. Now they can interact with great, succesfull men, just for sex, mainly, but in their naive mind, they think a serious relationship will happen at any moment (not true). That is why when you, as a normal guy, engage with these women, their attitude is the worst, you are treated as garbage
@Viper-ms9egno not really women love tall dark skin men. It all matters about height and what your face looks like but women don't want to admit it
I think another factor is people are also working so much more and don't have time or energy. Everything you said is spot on.
hard to listen if you are starving to death for communication. Which also leads to not being able to handle communication when finally the opportunity somewhat presents itself. Also hard to listen if you are getting so dead inside that you just don't care about anything anymore, you start to not be there even when with those you technically should be closest with.
The internet doesn’t help. It’s actually encouraging being alone.
It's even worse in other countries, I'm abroad, but I can confirm
I get whiplash stomach ache and headache from the switching of the screens every 2 seconds.
In this day and age they say get out the house, meet new people, stop being shy just go make conversation with a stranger. And when you do , people are courteous but they seem slightly annoyed that you interrupted their time. You can feel that awkward tension. It's like you have to be a person of value for people to even look in your direction. I watch clips of nightclubs back in the 90's where there was no cell phones. Everyone was forced to conversate and have fun. I kind of wish I was born a bit earlier. These days no one calls or says hi to anyone anymore. I known my neighbors for years , the saddest thing I don't even know is their name?
yeah...sad but true...me don't think its going to get any better...but one thing I know, at least if you do get involved in something you like or love, there are real chances that you will meet likeminded people..right? why not try it ;)
Humans dont know how to communicate anymore. All it takes is a smile and being prepared to listen (regardless of whether you agree or not) and you have made a friend.
Something definitely happened after 2016. It was the last year that I feel being social was still negotiable.
Loneliness in my experience is being around others that make you feel that way. Probably the main reason I try to not socialize anymore. Never ending cycle.
Have you seen people around lately? Being with people is also equal to smoking 😢
Thank you Patrick, I am 74 and lonely, that is the best advice I have received in years. I will start by going swimming in my local town pool.
I love being lonely. No BS.
Honestly it’s not as bad if you’re a mentally stable man. It’s pretty liberating.
Same. There's a difference between being lonely and being alone. I love being alone but I don't necessarily feel lonely. Actually, in some instances I've felt lonely in the presence of others.
I've sunk to pretty low levels in my depression because my social life sucks but I won't ever choose them over me. I'm happier alone than suffering to keep the attention of a narcissistic shell.
I’ve been basically alone my whole life, mom walked out on us, family rejected me at my adolescence and I’ve just never been successful with friends and love.
Whatever man, I’ve worked around it and picked up hobbies to keep my life active and happy. But it all requires money and my career provides that. Without that, yeah, I’d probably blow my Brains out. So money can buy happiness
Being alone and loneliness are two different things, I rather be alone than around people, i can count my true friends with one hand, my only social media is RUclips, and im on RUclips only in the afternoon when my day is done.
I'm definitely suffering from this epidemic
Sir Patrick Bet Davidson ,that a very valuable and knowledgeable content .keep up that good work ,we are with you 😇
Wow PBD really calling me out in this video. All well. At least I know I’m not alone in my loneliness…. Stay strong my fella brothers.
U too man
Yeah, all the stats are mostly correct. But what was fascinating is what most influencers do. They don't address the underlying real cause of this. Its not the phone, its not the loneliness. Its the dating market, and how it got jacked up because, again not the phone but fifty years of feminism. It's always something else never that. Good day everyone.
This is one of the best videos I’ve seen today…
Thank you!!
The only people I encounter anymore are at work and last time I tried hang out with a woman at work (I was very nice) I got pulled into HR the next day for harassment and reprimanded. I have one friend and we have a game night but he's married now and doesn't really have time to hang out anymore. I feel so lost most of the time.
You have to be very careful about making friends at work, especially with the opposite sex and especially being a male.
Like Shannon Hoon once said...When life is hard you have to change.
Had a girl - dated for 5 years - graduated university and both started careers. She almost immedieately got this massive ego and then cheated. Im stuck with no answers, no reason, and zero dating prospects in the terrible dating world.
It sucks.
A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy, who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. 👍😎
@@theredpilllion5922 huh?
Screw her but also you don't need a reason as to why she cheated, she cheated and she sucks that's it
If you get a reason it will get you more pissed off
Sometimes loneliness is good and sometimes feels bad. I was called to loneliness and I understand it now.
Loneliness leads to hopelessness. Hopelessness leads to addiction. Now we understand why fentanyl is so popular.
You are correct
Thanks for covering this
I respect what PBD’s doing. IMO, he’s one of the most valuable Americans in the entire country. He sets an excellent example in many ways.
I don't need to hear a damn thing that comes out of his damn mouth
@@rustyshackleford6637 Interesting. Why do you feel that way?
@@velinix7915
2B Vina
LF Marrero
CF Edmonds
3B Pujols
1B Martinez
SS Renteria
RF Drew
C Matheny
P Williams
“Social” media diving this “loneliness” who would have thought
There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
Depending if you are alone by choice or not
Thank you for sharing this fact. Your time and research are appreciated!!!!