I struggle with femininity because my personality and “essence” is extremely feminine. I want to dress that way. But my body and face do not match up at all due to PCOS. It’s horrible. So I’m always dressing in ways that enhance my feminine features in a stealthy way, never a “trying” way like pink or bows or whatever. I’m depressed all the time because of this. I do feel suffocated, that’s a great way you described it.
wow we had SUCH a similar experience with kpop. I was sooooo confident prior to kpop and when i found it i was just so fascinated by the whole thing. Then only 3 months into participating in kpop fandom culture i developed the beginning of what would be a pretty serious eating disorder. Now after i’ve recovered i literally cannot erasssseee the brain rot of noticing these small things about my body. I still listen to kpop but i removed myself from stan twitter/any sort of fan activities which has helped a good bit. Fatphobic media is HELL ON EARTH !! side note: people with straight white teeth are suspicious LOL live ur life
you actually can’t possibly understand how much we have in common like not possibly i’m sitting in my bathroom doing my makeup nodding along and freaked out by it
Loved this video literally have said so many of these things either to my friends or to myself in my head ur like so real. What’s so funny is beauty standards are so individual sometimes because before i would love to have softer features and a softer jawline like i hate having stronger features lol. When i was in high school i would pray to wake up with a round face lmao. But just put it out there for anybody who is struggling with appearance insecurities what also helped me was being around other people (in person in real life) and internally acknowledging the beauty you find in everyone kinda helps so bad. Like features u may be beating ur self up about are sometimes the same features you’ll see in another person and be like wow thats gorgeous. As always wishing u peace and love
I experienced the same thing!! Once I started getting Korean culture, I’ve never been so hyper aware of myself. I feel like Korean beauty standards are very specific things that sort of automatically qualify you as attractive whereas western beauty standards seem more general Also! I rllyyyy enjoyed this video!
the way I've been coming to this video for the past few days because it just resonated with me on a spiritual level is insane, my fave video on youtube so far
Dear Jess, Hi it’s Key :-) I don’t know if you remember me from my past comments but I just wanted to update you on some stuff about my life, I didn’t wanna come off as creepy. First off, college is going great. I am planning on studying abroad next year to Japan for the spring semester with some classmates. REALLLLY nervous but hoping the application process goes well. Oh, speaking of which I got into UNC Chapel Hill. Did NOT expect that but I’m not complaining, I love it here. I will say the transition from “I need to get all As and Honor Roll and Gifted Students are the only successful ones” to “I just need a C or above” is really funny. I feel like adulting has its ups and downs, but as long as I can feel the sun hitting my face or the laughter remains in my soul or I can still pet dogs walking by, I’m not complaining. But other than that, everything is good. I lost weight and I found a new friend :) I also turn 20 in June AHHHHH YAY but yes. I pray God/ The Universe protects you, blesses you, and keeps you from all negativity and chaos. I’ll see u next time! - key P.S I wanna start vlogging bc of you. I’ll do it in June and call it “summer shows” :-D
hi key :-) 1. so exited for japan and ur vlogs 2. ur so big and smart and a genius for getting into chapel hill and college is kinda nonsensical all u should care about is passing who cares who cares who cares about anything long time no see thank u catching me up talk next time mwah
your mind….. love hearing your insights and perspective i was a chronic box braider as well before i got locs and yeah……. the idea of committing to a 10 hour braiding session now would absolutely bring upon my death. i’m glad i got out the game before goddess braids and everything got popular bc i know i don’t have it in me 🙏🏽💔
5 месяцев назад+4
i also developed a bald spot recently so i've eased off of braids and i've never had my natural hair as big as it is now and the attention is weirddd. totally agree with you abt braids being both afro centric and acceptable (and maybe even appeasing?) to the white gaze. i've been thinking about shaving my head a lot because i don't want to think about my hair constantly but i feel like the respite would b v short lived lol. like if i shaved my head i would just start thinking abt how i have a baby face and a huge ass forehead and tiny ears and i have nothing to distract from that!? in a lot of ways braids and being able to trade in long flowy hair when i need to are a kind of shield that allow me to perform less daily and time consuming femininity tasks. like i remember talking abt going bald and my sister telling me i'd have to wear hoops and makeup to 'compensate' for it when that's never really been my thing. idk i have a loosy goosy relationship with womanhood and gender in general so it doesn't rly bother me if people don't see me as womanly or feminine but i am wary of giving up the relative safety of being neatly identified in that space if that makes sense. not that being a black woman is a walk in the park but defying the expected standards feels like a risk u know? even then like femininity is so inorganic to me like i wasn't a straight up tomboy but i had sooooo many fights with my mom as a kid where she would berate me for not wanting to wear skirts and jewelry and stuff and to this day my grandma still asks me why i don't wear earrings and if im even a girl LMFAO. i had to learn to like dressing up and makeup to stop feeling inadequate but it's always a performance to me like when i do 'natural makeup' i call it my woman cosplay because it's about how im trying to come off more than any expression or "essence" as you say, that i feel. i guess that's why im getting more into fashion and experimenting with silhouette and stuff because it's just another way to perform and i do love putting on a show tho ! (yes i have a leo rising) idk lol. it's weird. bodies are weird, society and stuff. ok good talk! good video!!
The min i read that u r a Leo ur whole comment made since anyone who blames there mind or way of thinking or actions or a zodiac sign is restarted asf I punched my gf but that’s just the Gemini in me ur environment as-well as how u grew up and genetics are the ONLY things that contribute to ur actions and ur self as a person not a fucking sign
Also im watching the waxing and oof…. If you’ve never tried an epilator you may wanna give it a try it like plucks out hairs for u its a bit painful but way less messy. It functions like a razor its just instead of cutting the hairs it plucks them out i love mine
@52:44 Jess babeeee please don't rub down when putting on moisturizer!!! always rub upwards and glide the product upwards in a circular motion, from bottom to top!
I like can't wear my hair out either because it draws too much attention at times, people saying weird kind of uneasy feeling comments, I just wanna be normal, seen as normal if I were to wear my hair. And also I scalp sweat so my hair sweats out ANY style it's so embarrassing so I want to buzz it all off but am scared I'll look like a man, so I don't know what I want to do with my hair next.
Just wear ur hair who tf cares people r gonna say shit no matter wut u do if u have that mentality than holy hell u can literally be normal just be doing u and wut u want also u can wear ur natural hair so many women do it ur not the first if it makes u feel uncomfortable that other people are judging u then that’s a u problem and learning not to be soft
hey so me to deal with my insecurities, i tell myself that one if you're religious that God created me this way so either way accepting it is way more easy then being insecure about it and also what would it change in my life if it was changed or i'm i the only one ? i also have a gap in my teeth and honestly i tell myself that it's just a gap nobody even care nor will think about it when they go to sleep so it's not that important hope this comment helped 💐
not you saying "just be u" after leaving a slew of dismissive to hostile comments on a thoughtful video abt a complex topic lmfao..... the jokes write themselves
I think ur focusing way 2 much on society standers when i lived in Portugal i lived with a family and they were all so sweet and when i wore breads there they didn’t rlly care i mean there r people there who wear braids bc it’s not just Portuguese people there and i think again social media plays a huge role in the “conforment” when in reality u don’t need 2 wear braids i would actually say people now love Afros and things like that obviously depending on the setting but no one rlly cares unless ur around a certain crowd that hyper focuses on that
23:54 No one claimed the word or day, wash day not all people who have straight hair wash there hair everyday especially if they have a color Extensions , or got it styled or dry hair low porosity hair etc and depending on the climate in there hair if there hair get’s oily easily and it’s all personal preference so it’s not a weird thing at all…. And u should be mad over someone wanting to have a wash day bc they have straight hair Everything works for different people
Don’t be dense, the term wash DAY has always been in reference to black natural hair wash days because of the amount of time it takes to do natural hair if you’re doing a certain style. If ur black u know exactly what shes talking about 😭
24:50 weird thing to say also but again if u don’t understand it then just don’t think about it 😂 people can do whatever they want it’s there life and also having pin straight hair is something that is actually very rare idk why so many people think it’s common and i have a friend who is Indian and she has straight hair and she has a whole day where her and her faimly do certain oil treatments mask and homemade things on there hair so it’s not just a one man thing with certain hair the fact that ur mad or care about is crazy
If anyone has a Stan account and dedicates so much time and effort on a account and keeping up with wut there doing and developing a deep obsession with them or “loves them” is very weird and parasocial i always thot it was weird how people base someone’s whole personality on interviews or clips they have seen and then decides there a good person when they don’t rlly know them so i always find accounts like that or people like that very cringe and if it brings u joy to find someone who is obsessed with the same people or group as u then u need to find other interest then making ur hobby off of someone u don’t know it’s ok to like the music buttt
the way i've become obsessed with you is insane
literally same
I struggle with femininity because my personality and “essence” is extremely feminine. I want to dress that way. But my body and face do not match up at all due to PCOS. It’s horrible. So I’m always dressing in ways that enhance my feminine features in a stealthy way, never a “trying” way like pink or bows or whatever. I’m depressed all the time because of this. I do feel suffocated, that’s a great way you described it.
i relate deeply. pcos girlies rise!
Well you look gorgeous in your profile picture, and I hope you feel better in yourself in the future
wow we had SUCH a similar experience with kpop. I was sooooo confident prior to kpop and when i found it i was just so fascinated by the whole thing. Then only 3 months into participating in kpop fandom culture i developed the beginning of what would be a pretty serious eating disorder. Now after i’ve recovered i literally cannot erasssseee the brain rot of noticing these small things about my body. I still listen to kpop but i removed myself from stan twitter/any sort of fan activities which has helped a good bit. Fatphobic media is HELL ON EARTH !! side note: people with straight white teeth are suspicious LOL live ur life
It’s so interesting to hear someone else talk about topics that you’re constantly thinking about lol
realest youtuber
you actually can’t possibly understand how much we have in common like not possibly i’m sitting in my bathroom doing my makeup nodding along and freaked out by it
watching this while detangling and deep conditioning my hair 👁️👄👁️
Loved this video literally have said so many of these things either to my friends or to myself in my head ur like so real. What’s so funny is beauty standards are so individual sometimes because before i would love to have softer features and a softer jawline like i hate having stronger features lol. When i was in high school i would pray to wake up with a round face lmao. But just put it out there for anybody who is struggling with appearance insecurities what also helped me was being around other people (in person in real life) and internally acknowledging the beauty you find in everyone kinda helps so bad. Like features u may be beating ur self up about are sometimes the same features you’ll see in another person and be like wow thats gorgeous. As always wishing u peace and love
i hate that our hair is so politicized it’s like… actually dystopian af
This video is actually what womanhood is like. love so so fk much Jes🖤
I experienced the same thing!! Once I started getting Korean culture, I’ve never been so hyper aware of myself. I feel like Korean beauty standards are very specific things that sort of automatically qualify you as attractive whereas western beauty standards seem more general
Also! I rllyyyy enjoyed this video!
the way I've been coming to this video for the past few days because it just resonated with me on a spiritual level is insane, my fave video on youtube so far
Dear Jess,
Hi it’s Key :-) I don’t know if you remember me from my past comments but I just wanted to update you on some stuff about my life, I didn’t wanna come off as creepy. First off, college is going great. I am planning on studying abroad next year to Japan for the spring semester with some classmates. REALLLLY nervous but hoping the application process goes well. Oh, speaking of which I got into UNC Chapel Hill. Did NOT expect that but I’m not complaining, I love it here.
I will say the transition from “I need to get all As and Honor Roll and Gifted Students are the only successful ones” to “I just need a C or above” is really funny. I feel like adulting has its ups and downs, but as long as I can feel the sun hitting my face or the laughter remains in my soul or I can still pet dogs walking by, I’m not complaining.
But other than that, everything is good. I lost weight and I found a new friend :) I also turn 20 in June AHHHHH YAY but yes. I pray God/ The Universe protects you, blesses you, and keeps you from all negativity and chaos. I’ll see u next time!
- key
P.S I wanna start vlogging bc of you. I’ll do it in June and call it “summer shows” :-D
hi key :-)
1. so exited for japan and ur vlogs
2. ur so big and smart and a genius for getting into chapel hill and college is kinda nonsensical all u should care about is passing who cares who cares who cares about anything
long time no see thank u catching me up talk next time mwah
@@JESYCUof course! have a good day ❤
you`re literally saving my life
i cannot explain how much i love this video. lurv you and you are so real
your mind….. love hearing your insights and perspective
i was a chronic box braider as well before i got locs and yeah……. the idea of committing to a 10 hour braiding session now would absolutely bring upon my death. i’m glad i got out the game before goddess braids and everything got popular bc i know i don’t have it in me 🙏🏽💔
i also developed a bald spot recently so i've eased off of braids and i've never had my natural hair as big as it is now and the attention is weirddd. totally agree with you abt braids being both afro centric and acceptable (and maybe even appeasing?) to the white gaze.
i've been thinking about shaving my head a lot because i don't want to think about my hair constantly but i feel like the respite would b v short lived lol. like if i shaved my head i would just start thinking abt how i have a baby face and a huge ass forehead and tiny ears and i have nothing to distract from that!? in a lot of ways braids and being able to trade in long flowy hair when i need to are a kind of shield that allow me to perform less daily and time consuming femininity tasks. like i remember talking abt going bald and my sister telling me i'd have to wear hoops and makeup to 'compensate' for it when that's never really been my thing. idk i have a loosy goosy relationship with womanhood and gender in general so it doesn't rly bother me if people don't see me as womanly or feminine but i am wary of giving up the relative safety of being neatly identified in that space if that makes sense. not that being a black woman is a walk in the park but defying the expected standards feels like a risk u know?
even then like femininity is so inorganic to me like i wasn't a straight up tomboy but i had sooooo many fights with my mom as a kid where she would berate me for not wanting to wear skirts and jewelry and stuff and to this day my grandma still asks me why i don't wear earrings and if im even a girl LMFAO. i had to learn to like dressing up and makeup to stop feeling inadequate but it's always a performance to me like when i do 'natural makeup' i call it my woman cosplay because it's about how im trying to come off more than any expression or "essence" as you say, that i feel. i guess that's why im getting more into fashion and experimenting with silhouette and stuff because it's just another way to perform and i do love putting on a show tho ! (yes i have a leo rising) idk lol. it's weird. bodies are weird, society and stuff. ok good talk! good video!!
The min i read that u r a Leo ur whole comment made since anyone who blames there mind or way of thinking or actions or a zodiac sign is restarted asf I punched my gf but that’s just the Gemini in me ur environment as-well as how u grew up and genetics are the ONLY things that contribute to ur actions and ur self as a person not a fucking sign
WHO HAS MONEY FOR HAIR CARE PRODUCTS WHEN YOU BUY THEM SO OFTEN, I AM A BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT.
Also im watching the waxing and oof…. If you’ve never tried an epilator you may wanna give it a try it like plucks out hairs for u its a bit painful but way less messy. It functions like a razor its just instead of cutting the hairs it plucks them out i love mine
Thank you for feeding us Jess!
u were made for the camera i actually don't understand how someone can be so personable and awesome and cool and esoteric
BAEEEEEE WHAT R U DOING HERE
@52:44 Jess babeeee please don't rub down when putting on moisturizer!!! always rub upwards and glide the product upwards in a circular motion, from bottom to top!
i know!!!!! terrible habit ahhhhh
watching this as I take my box braids out
I like can't wear my hair out either because it draws too much attention at times, people saying weird kind of uneasy feeling comments, I just wanna be normal, seen as normal if I were to wear my hair. And also I scalp sweat so my hair sweats out ANY style it's so embarrassing so I want to buzz it all off but am scared I'll look like a man, so I don't know what I want to do with my hair next.
Just wear ur hair who tf cares people r gonna say shit no matter wut u do if u have that mentality than holy hell u can literally be normal just be doing u and wut u want also u can wear ur natural hair so many women do it ur not the first if it makes u feel uncomfortable that other people are judging u then that’s a u problem and learning not to be soft
not doing my hair while watching this but I did do a lil mimikyu papercraft and life is good
hey so me to deal with my insecurities, i tell myself that one if you're religious that God created me this way so either way accepting it is way more easy then being insecure about it and also what would it change in my life if it was changed or i'm i the only one ? i also have a gap in my teeth and honestly i tell myself that it's just a gap nobody even care nor will think about it when they go to sleep so it's not that important hope this comment helped 💐
that is such a beautiful way to look at it omg
we have the same bald spot.
i love listening to you
I know you feel like you can’t shave your head buuuut consider it lol. Very empowering to take back your time and money and opt out of it all 💕
Yes🔥🔥🔥
don't worry my dad has a toupee guy
Just be u
not you saying "just be u" after leaving a slew of dismissive to hostile comments on a thoughtful video abt a complex topic lmfao..... the jokes write themselves
@they weren’t hostile lol i literally just said the truth
@also it’s not that complex if u overthink every since of life then sure
I think ur focusing way 2 much on society standers when i lived in Portugal i lived with a family and they were all so sweet and when i wore breads there they didn’t rlly care i mean there r people there who wear braids bc it’s not just Portuguese people there and i think again social media plays a huge role in the “conforment” when in reality u don’t need 2 wear braids i would actually say people now love Afros and things like that obviously depending on the setting but no one rlly cares unless ur around a certain crowd that hyper focuses on that
23:54 No one claimed the word or day, wash day not all people who have straight hair wash there hair everyday especially if they have a color Extensions , or got it styled or dry hair low porosity hair etc and depending on the climate in there hair if there hair get’s oily easily and it’s all personal preference so it’s not a weird thing at all…. And u should be mad over someone wanting to have a wash day bc they have straight hair Everything works for different people
Don’t be dense, the term wash DAY has always been in reference to black natural hair wash days because of the amount of time it takes to do natural hair if you’re doing a certain style. If ur black u know exactly what shes talking about 😭
If other people use the term sure whatever but lets not be ignorant to its origins
me when I want clicks and likes
can u not piss me off
@@woo3524u can control ur emotions i don’t have control over that
24:50 weird thing to say also but again if u don’t understand it then just don’t think about it 😂 people can do whatever they want it’s there life and also having pin straight hair is something that is actually very rare idk why so many people think it’s common and i have a friend who is Indian and she has straight hair and she has a whole day where her and her faimly do certain oil treatments mask and homemade things on there hair so it’s not just a one man thing with certain hair the fact that ur mad or care about is crazy
If anyone has a Stan account and dedicates so much time and effort on a account and keeping up with wut there doing and developing a deep obsession with them or “loves them” is very weird and parasocial i always thot it was weird how people base someone’s whole personality on interviews or clips they have seen and then decides there a good person when they don’t rlly know them so i always find accounts like that or people like that very cringe and if it brings u joy to find someone who is obsessed with the same people or group as u then u need to find other interest then making ur hobby off of someone u don’t know it’s ok to like the music buttt
You have a concerning amount of comments trying to get her attention. Good Lord, cool it down.
@@afrofaeriesi don’t even know her im just stating my opinion well it’s not rlly a opinion i mean it’s true if u have a Stan account ur weird