THIS Is Why 80% Of Men Are Invisible | Asmongold Reacts
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- Опубликовано: 16 май 2024
- by @TheDiaryOfACEOClips • THIS Is Why 80% Of Men...
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A lot of men give up on life due to circumstances and not mental disorders.
Twitter trying to hate on Dr. K for saying it's not just mental disorders, but men actually struggling alone is insane.
Ironic how this proves his points even more
If a man can't face circumstances what a woman do !?
most people who have even mediocre lives have a hard time imagining someone whos life is legitimately just awful.
life is hard , we can no longer provide for a partner as easy as generations before could , we blame women for only wanting 6 figure partners , but sadly to have a wife and 2/3 children to be able to at replacement levels , you need to earn 6 figures at least .
Swings and roundabouts to a degree. There have been some pretty hard generations, e.g. at least we aren't slaving in the fields for the most part, for now?, and half or more of men never reproduced, anyway.
It's Twitter every single thing is bad to them
"The more I'm around other people the more I hate other people" you are not alone, my guy.
"I hate most people... At times, I look at people, and see nothing worth liking... I've built up my hatreds over the years, little by little."
- Daniel Plainview
Being around people and being around friends are two different things. It's weird that he refers to his friends and family as "people"... that's how I refer to co-workers and what not. Not my loved ones. That's more than extrovert it seems
@@BoondockGore
It depends what kind of bonds you have with them. I don't hate the ones I live with but I stopped forcing myself to spend more time with them as they'd always nagged about. The less I dealt with them the better my mental health got, and the less there's been conflicts. Especially since my thoughts and opinions are often shot down by them.
They think that just because I don't say much, that I don't think much either. That they know better than me by default, ignoring my advice as they make the same mistakes countless times. They drove me insane being around them, and nowadays I scare myself thinking back on the dark thoughts I used to have at the time.
Wanna hear something horrible relating to other people? Then strap yourself in.
I am in my late 30's now and had a sudden, shocking but very sober and sudden realization. Since I was going to school and entered public life and society so to say, I was disappointed by people around every 3 years. But not _"normal disappointments"._ They somehow managed to break through the ceiling of what I thought was realistically possible regarding either stupidity, viscious evil, cowardly defeatism towards evil and simple how fake they are in general.
Virtues who crumble at the slightest sign of pressure.
Choosing utterly foolishly even when in realization of the odds.
Apathy towards the true scources of problems in the world.
But a hell lot of attitude towards *ANYONE* who would dare point it out. 😒
Its just crazy. Disappointed for about every consecutive 3 years of my life in ways I thought were impossible.
@@LawfulBased there's a quote I think fits very well "Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realise half of them are stupider than that."
The average intelligence level is only so high because of the smartest individuals bringing the percentage up.
One thing that bothers me about the way we discuss the suicide epidemic is how we say that men are 3x more likely to "kill themselves". We're (semantically) putting the effect before the cause. In reality, men are actually 3x more likely to be treated so poorly by life that death is becomes a rational alternative.
Facts, if the roles were reversed I feel that society wouldn’t partake in all the victim blaming that comes with men’s suicide
Facts
Yeah. They've presented it more as an alternative, unintentional or not.
Survived a Georgenotfound situation, 3 years later still have nightmares of what happened to me over a simple lie that was openly admitted to being a lie. I've spent my whole life helping people avoid that option (4am house visits, letting people stay at my house, etc). It was ironic how none of it mattered because of a rumor.
I think some stats are up to 5 times more likely now
I'm a 44 year old man with degenerative back problems that are compounding other issues, been out of work for 3 years, can't do most things I used to enjoy, can't work, can't afford to go to the doctor, I'm in constant pain every day, my wife hates me now for it and takes every chance she gets to be a cunt, I'm headed for a nasty divorce, and probably will end up jailed for not being able to pay child support. Tried getting on disability, try that shit being a middle aged white guy. I'm so sick of hearing people say things will be ok, they have no clue what it's like being in my shoes. The only way forward I can see is to just keep going until I can't anymore. Nobody cares about what men go through, especially women. We're expected to provide until we die, and when we can't we get thrown under the bus. I've known several men over the years that "checked out", I now fully understand why. It really disgusts me that billions of our tax dollars are given to countries that hate us but the people at home can't get help when they need it.
I had a bowel resection at 16 and broke my back at 17 and have to go to the doctor's a few times a month. It took 8 years for me to get on disability and many attempts and appeals. My ex girlfriend had no medications and applied because of depression and anxiety and she got it right away.
@@StreetForged It infuriates me to see how easily women file for "disability" through claims of mental illness and end up receiving taxpayer assistance.
@@WardenWyrd I definitely was left with the impression that our gender was the defining reason why she was offered more assistance than me. The medical industry, lack of workers rights, lack of government support, and the perception of people on disability has essentially destroyed my future.
Was in the gifted program, made deans list in college, doesn't matter when you're sick all the time and can't work a consistent job, and your lifetime treatments cost 8k every 6 weeks not including the several other medications I need for related immune issues. Doomed to medicaid and poverty forever and treated like a second class citizen by people dumber than me with far less skills.
@@StreetForged But remember, we live in a "patriarchy" 😒
@@StreetForged Btw I see this same thing with military veterans, women seem to get approvals for their disability claims faster and easier than men, on average. It's blatant sexism and it's disgusting.
I got to work depressed, come home depressed, go to sleep depressed. Repeat for eternity. I love my life. Working for nothing. Money doesnt make me happy and i will never afford a decent house or land anyway. Probably wont get a pension. Never had a relationship, no friends, estranged family. Life is utterly pointless existance.
You should try Church. Try volunteering and helping people. If you focus on the bad, life will be bad. Aim at something higher, your spirits will be lifted. I've been there. I wish you luck.
@@nickf2657the guy says he’s struggling and your best advice is for him to become delusional and believe in fairy tales? K thanks
@@nickf2657 thanks, i like helping people and giving gifts, favours. But i dont get anything in return, my own grandparents were never there and never cared or even asked how im doing. Im 28. I try help my own family, spent weeks painting for my grandmother and i never get a text or phonecall saying thanks or asking how i am. I have hepled many old people with shopping, crossing road all that stuff that everyone should do regardless. Maybe i should just disown my family and take your advice. Thanks for replying.
I agree… church is really something else. It’s scary reading what you’re going through because that was literally me 3 years ago. Now I’m getting engaged. Church changed absolutely everything for me. The community is so kind and welcoming and I found friends through it and eventually met my fiancé. Take on more responsibilities is the way out of depression. Make sure it’s healthy responsibilities such as family and self help stuff.
@@infinity_shades1687 thanks, i will try. Appreciate the advice.
Someone once said I can't remember who.
"Extroverts start off their day with an empty coin pouch. And every time they have an interaction with someone they add a coin to that pouch.
Introverts start off their day with a certain amount of coins in their pouch. And every time they have an interaction with someone they lose a coin from their pouch."
Aka social battery
Sounds like extroverts steal coins from introverts
the sims
That's actually very on point. I'm an introvert (grew up an only child with only a few friends). So I can only have so many interactions with others before I start climbing back in my shell. I'm actually starting therapy next week to see how crazy I am and if there's anything I could do to get better that actually works for me.
@@smileygladhands I'm an introvert and love being one. I love interacting with my closest friends and they know that I'm just like this. 2 of them are extroverts and one is an introvert like me. When I'm alone I usually stay in my house and either play games or watch shows. When I feel like going outside I take my 600RR for a ride to the beach or the nearby mountain roads with just me and my thoughts.
When someone starts talking to me and i'm not in the mood I do tell them that I got to go or act as if I want to rush to the end of the conversation. Some of those people will dislike that but i've learnt that I actually don't give a duck about it. There's billions in this world and you are going to what to spend your time with those that are worth it.
I'm a naturally selfish person and by also being an introvert it means that I'll spend my life doing what I wanna do and not what others want me to do. I've been living my life freely ever since my teenage years and honestly... back then I'd probably feel bad for not having as many friends than most other guys but now..? Nah...
All this to say that.... nah bro/brahette... you are not crazy. Just.. different.
When Dr Peterson got emotional and cried on yt, he got ridiculed by H3H3, the supposed democrats who say men should be able to cry
I mean Jordan Peterson is ridiculous. He will go on about how he has never been happier or healthier and then immediately start weeping.
@@vercingetorix5708 what’s wrong with that? Men can’t be emotional after all?
@@vercingetorix5708 You can be happy and still cry, especially when it's for other people which is pretty much the case with Peterson
Everyone knows h3 is a joke now
@@vercingetorix5708🤡
“If a guy gets mad at a girl for cheating then he’s the reason.” is such a crappy take. Why don’t you grow up and end the relationship before going out with other people, or discuss the issues and try to fix it if you don’t want to end the relationship. You know communicate.
It's an expected take from a group of people who are not incentivised by society to take responsibility.
Apparently, it's less effort to start/hide an infidelity and wait for your partner to find out rather than just to say "Let's break up ".
It's similar to how we encourage women to do what's best for them regardless of how it affects her family but we don't encourage men to do the same
When we ignore such bs and don't argue our case, and instead ask ourselves "is this true?" "does it matter?" "am I a source of grief?" and such, and our assessment is within our assessment's yes range, then we really ignore such bs and don't argue our case.
In a relationship check off expectations at the start and tell the woman to do the same. Tell her not to wait til later when time and energy have been heavily invested.
Really though, do whatever you want--just don't be a source of grief and never apologize (or not).
See what I'm posting?
"Wahmyn are good at communication" is such a lie amongst lies.
His words about being connected to a tribe or a group completely ties in with suicide among military veterans. I've spoken to a lot of guys from different countries, who've said they're getting treatment for PTSD or have symptoms of it. They generally don't feel traumatized by getting shot at, shooting other people, or seeing dead bodies, or anything like that. What they feel is like they're completely alone when they return "to the world" as it's called. You've spent months, years of your life within a small tribe where EVERYONE is prepared to take life or give their own life to protect each other... and bam, suddenly you're kicked out, you don't know anyone, no one gives a shit about you, and someone on social media calls you a monster. Imagine the shock of just suddenly being dropped back into a world you don't know basically ANYTHING about.
In my completely unscientific personal experience: The most common form of psychological trauma after active military service is a lost sense of self and belonging. I am not surprised that trauma exists for men in general in the form Dr. K is talking about.
No, you are correct. You see, our modern world, is fake. It's like a theme park. When you go to war, you get to see "the desert of the REAL WORLD". So when you come home from that. When you come back to the 'theme park life' you see it for what it is, and once you are woken up, you can't go back to sleep. You see it's insanity all around you. You see it's petty, shallow, gilded, nature for what it is. You see your governments for what they really are. Then everyone around you says "something is wrong with YOU", when the reality is, there is something very wrong with society and you are just "awake" from the pod. So imagine the psychological impact of going from a Disney Theme Park life, to the harsh reality of war, then tossed back w/o any support, into the theme park, but now you see it for what it is and everyone around you gas-lights you because they can't see it. You can. So you must be the problem, you must be the "odd one". But it's literally gaslighting, even if not intentional. Some people can never re-acculturate, there were more than a few mercs over the centuries that could never "come home" because they knew they couldn't go back to that "asleep" life. So they just traveled from war to war to war. The question that we should be asking is: what is so wrong with our society that people who go and experience the reality of life on earth come home and find our society to be "alien". Not, what is wrong with these people who woke up and saw the truth of reality and now don't want to play out our little fantasy.
Simply retiring can Do that also.
Even with a pension and ss and ability to work for themselves and be totally well off.
@@Chayliss Oh definitely, I can imagine that. But being discharged post-deployment is probably way more sort of sudden. Retiring you generally get to plan a little more I think.
you say that like people join the military as kids?
You are very correct.
I actually googled the “my partner’s yelling at me” bit. It’s not that anything doesn’t come up for men when their partner’s yelling at them. Google just assumes the man’s at fault, and provides info that’s basically like “have you tried not being a terrible person?” Hahaha. It’s comical. Like google assumes there could never be an instance in which a man’s being verbally abused/threatened by their partner where he’s not responsible for it.
Why are men so lonely, and killing themselves again?
It's really sad and it's under the rug right now, nobody cares.
@@slothvr5752 Well, I want to be clear. I think most men, when they stop to think about the people that are actually active in their lives. Friends, family etc. and not focused on what our culture/society/online discourse is saying about this issue? They’d find most people DO care if they were to tell them their partner is verbally abusive/threatening them.
Even though this may be true generally speaking? What may be true generally is often untrue when applied to the individual. So, like this guy’s talking about, try not to internalize the external information, and try to look around you. If you do, I think a lot of men would realize they genuinely do have a support system immediately around them.
Insane people have taken over our methods of communication
There is problem of modern psychiatry that it's methods are centered on women. Men and woman in general deal differently with emotions and communicate them differently. The way group of friends that are men talk to each other is different then that of group of friend that are women. And there is stupid idea that woman way is superior, and should be forced on men.
Neither of them is actually superior in general, both have good and bad things about them. Problem is that women way of talking about their emotions and feelings is easier for psychiatrist and their current day methodology. That's where this idiotic pressure of "emotional men" and "talking about your feelings" comes from.
Many good psychiatrist pointed that it's wrong and methodology should match the patient and not forcing patient to match methodology. But it's hard when modern political correctness wants us to believe that women and men are identical in every aspect.
Dr. K killed Reckful.
My 27/M cousin killed himself 3 weeks ago today. Got in an argument with his girlfriend, had a meltdown and shot himself while drunk. Still hurts he left us like that. I wish the world was better for everyone
I'm sorry that happened man, that's horrible. This is what I thought about when reading other comments here that said that self deletion is a valid choice. Willfully ignorant of what friends and family will feel and be left with. Stay strong man, I wish you the best.
@@fantomas4935 Thanks. He was in the army and just got an apartment off base. Maybe he had a really stressful day of training or something and then the argument pushed him over the edge. But I agree, it gives us pain for a long time while he doesn’t have to deal with it. I also went and gave his girlfriend a hug at his funeral because I’m afraid it will scar her. It’s not her fault he did that. But life goes on. I just wish people could see past their short term problems and realize life gets better
@@justinh7560 I don't have any experience losing someone like that, but from what I read, a lot of the cases are just spontaneous decisions, but there are deeper issues that were brewing for a while and sometimes they will look for any reason to do it, such as a break-up, losing their job, etc. It's the straw that broke the camel's back. This is what many survivors claim, at least.
Agree with you on the last part, it can always get better and it's almost never a valid choice. I have depression and anxiety, thought about it many times, but then I always came to the conclusion that I need to see this through, good or bad it's the only life I got and I have to make the best of it somehow. So whenever I get those thoughts now I treat them as spam, just dismiss them as nonsense.
@@justinh7560atleast he is free from all this bulshit now
@@fantomas4935, I understand that you're trying to be helpful here, but this only further proves the overall point of this video. Men are always expected to care about everything and everyone except for themselves. "Willfully ignorant of what friends and family will feel and be left with." This ignores the pain that the man went through and places an expectation on him. You're basically declaring that he should always place others before himself. Living a life only for others often isn't a life worth living at all. That's something that men do every single day and none can do it forever. It's a battle of endurance. When discussing suicide, what matters is the person that killed themselves. What matters is why they did it. Suicide is a problem and prevention of it needs to be explored. This cannot be done if the effects of suicide on other people is given greater importance. The primary focus should be on the individual that killed themselves. If you tell a man that is struggling with suicidal thoughts to not kill themselves because it would hurt others, you're only going to reinforce their belief of isolation because such a comment tells them that they should only act for the sake of others and that their emotions are unimportant.
"We dont allow them to suffer..."
Which, according to Niezche, means we can't express our power and can't gain more, cause confronting suffering is the only way to grow personal strength. This hits deep.
To me, it’s more like “we don’t allow them to show suffering.” Internalization of emotions to power self awareness and understanding this dark truth is staring into the abyss and find comfort.
@@aisanovac3801 yeah we leave the processing of emotions to a potentially flawed internal monologue. It's a classic downward spiral but we can of course just do societal windowdressing until we run into some really really big problems...
Reminds me when I dated this girl she would always say how much she supports me and wanted me to talk about my feelings, for a couple of months my manager was making my time at work absolute hell, then my Grandmother was hospitalized and in that same month I got a rejection letter from another job, so I told her I was feeling a little down with everything happening and then got laughed at and told to get over it. That was a good reminder that the pretty words people say aren't for you its for them to feel good about themselves, as a man you only have yourself.
Never confide in a woman, they look down on you and lose attraction/respect. Only friends and family
this is a such a bot story
@@MGrey-qb5xz Yeah a woman did something bad to a man. lncel propaganda. Never happens.
@@MGrey-qb5xz Nope it's something that happened in my mid 20's
Things that didn’t happen.
People just need to realize that being an introvert is a legit personality type and not a character flaw. I have to constantly defend myself to my family who are like "why don't you go out to parties and try to meet people" and im like "because i don't want to...i don't like parties...or the people that go to them for that matter...they are too loud."
Learning a hobby more on the creative art side might deter any jufgement that something is wrong with you. Learning to paint ir play an instrument can justify easily why you like to being alone and be left alone since people don't have the patience to better themselves like that
i feel you, it wasnt until my late 20s, early 30s that my family finally gave up on saying such to me and accepted im not socially outgoing
@@polluxe8917 dear other human, if you look outside you can see many people that are all different in some way, would it make you explode to understand that people can have that type of difference regarding how sociable they are and want to be.
"it's just that as a species, humans are social"
as a species, humans have evolved to be sociable in *SMALL* groups and clans not in towns and gigantic parties, you personally also like those things, many prefer 1-5 people as an entourage to massive crowds, Just accept that some people are different.
too loud or too reckless
@@telmobrito519 Get help
Bro, I'm so broke I can't afford depression.
How come you don't go into a trade? I was a hospital housekeeper that made just enough to afford rent and put food on the table, then got fired for not taking the covid shot. Took the opportunity to upgrade my career and went into mechanic work. I'm in my first year as an apprentice and I doubled the money I made every 2 weeks. After I get my licence In a few years I'll make about 3 times the amount I was making at that shithole hospital job. Narrow down what interests you in terms of trades and commit to one, you won't regret it.
Haha my man
same im trying to save up
I feel this
I've been told by a ex, years after the fact, that a single look I gave her for mere seconds made her scared of me forever.
I never yelled, never even raised my voice. I just felt angry and betrayed and contained it, and removed myself from the situation.
What that taught me is that not only are we not allowed to act on our anger in any way, we're not even allowed to simply feel it.
I have never so much as raised my voice at this woman, much less ever harmed her, and still a simple look of anger is apparently too much.
Society treats men like we're all psychotic monsters just waiting to be uncovered. You're presumed guilty until proven innocent, which only happens once you pass away with a clean record.
Why not prove them wrong right now eh?
thats on her that she didnt communicate her issues/feelings at the time and acted like a scared child. Thats not a normal response from most women.
Beware of my stare
It’s known to cause permanent wear and tear
It's mainly an issue of expectations. If you look at other animals, there is a hierarchy of dominance. The dominant group will always be stronger and more feared. But in our society, we hide that behind the need to be equal and similar. I really dont have a solution to this; I doubt anybody has. It's just a fact of social animals.
@@kuratse205 more then need to be equal and similar I'd argue it's need for tribe to grow. Which leads to the same result : To control bigger tribe, you need to establish some level of equality and homogenity, otherwise tribe collapses on itself.
Every time I've expressed my emotions or shown weakness, I've been discarded by friends and girlfriends.
I stopped being able to read and it was my only solace and i had a panic attack over it. Called my counselor and they got rid of me as a patient.
Men have typically expected to be at least mostly stoic. Crying or expressing weakness or confusion tends to kill attraction.
Don't confide in women. Your mother/grandmother may be an exception but even then I wouldn't recommend it. Confide in yourself, a male friend, or a pet, mate. Otherwise it we be held against you. Don't blame them. Life is just hard. Be strong.
showing any weakness to a woman = instant loss of respect
@@whenpigsfly8178 What works for me is that I try to rationalise everything that puts me down, I try to have an inner dialogue about why I feel this or why that thing or person made me mad. It works really well because having deep thoughts calms me down quickly.
17:52 - My ex (of nearly 4 years) didn’t treat me the best. I tried to talk to her about it. I was told that I’m not allowed to express how I feel when I’m upset.
I broke up with her that night. It legitimately crushed my soul to hear that, and I’m so glad I left. I’m married to the best woman I can be married to now.
Good on ya brother
Happy for you mate
Hold this W, King 🤴
How did you met your wife, how many people did you met until find her, sorry to ask, just want to know whats the differemce to find a decent person, if you could share the knowlegde with the brothers
best decision ever my man
When women get angry, people call them bossy or bitchy. When men get angry, people call security.
Then I think you are doing anger wrong lmao
@@silkemyk3178💯. He's confusing assertion with aggression. Big yikes
Yeah I smash windows with my fists when I'm mad I do t blame em for calling security lmao.
From a report of Only Fans months ago and who dumped the most money into that business. This is the true definition of an incel. Incel is a married man….that’s all you need right there.
"The more im around other people, the more i hate people," relateable. I need my alone time. If i dont have my alone time, i get so annoyed having to answer people, help them, etc. Like just let me be me for a while.
The problem with the world is that we have too many entitled takers and not enough givers. The few givers that give, end up getting taken from by the majority of slackers who refuse to put in some work. The quiet go unnoticed, the loud will cry and receive so long as there are good people in this world. We're protecting criminals and judging our saints, questioning our moral foundations even. Of course everyone has gone crazy. Of course your battery needs recharging. You're constantly being stolen from without thanks.
I hate everyone equally but my tolerance varies depending on the person.
That’s a massive challenge for me right now as new father. My wife is ADHD, my first daughter shows all the signs of it, my second daughter is a very demanding baby, I work 19 out of 21 days cycles.
I. JUST. NEVER. HAVE. TIME. By myself. I’m always in the daily routine, which is very much necessary, but there’s always a point where I turn bitter and angry, and my wife and I have big arguments.
36 years old, it’s starting to dawn on me that wanting to be alone is FINE! It’s perfectly normal and healthy, and we as a family are working torwards letting me have some down time, so I can be fully there for them afterwards.
The denial of our very nature is so strong it feels like it goes against every social rules.
i don't mind helping people.... i just don't like being around them.
Wow you sound great to be around 🙃
I believe that's what people who ruin games and hobbies are actually trying to achieve.
They want you to have no place to go where you feel welcome and not threatened.
holy shit that's evil
No sh1t
Why a Canadá company writes like half of the games of PlayStation
Conspiracy theory ?
yes that's what they are trying to do
Happy people do not seek to tear down civilization
Actually, yes.
I dislike the term incel. It devalues the cause of the issue in favor of labeling it instead.
Because it's used only a pejorative. are there guys that cannot get "laid"? of course they are. they have always been there. But calling a married man an "incel" because he disagrees with you is stupid.
I keep seeing people saying to never cry in front of their girlfriend or wife because they'll see it as weak and leave you. I guess I'm the odd girl out then. The first time my bf cried in front of me it broke my heart. All I wanted to do was hold him and help him with his pain. I was blown away that he felt comfortable enough with me to show that side of him. If anything, it only made me love him even more. If you can't show your emotions to the people you care about then I'd say those people aren't worth your time!
There definitely are women like you and my gf who are sympathetic to men being emotional, but in my experience with dating/having mostly female friends, the vast majority aren't. Even if they don't consciously realize it, their view of you totally changes. You also have to consider, a lot of the dudes commenting here aren't exactly in a position to be selective about the kind of friends they have. It's easy to say "don't waste your time on those types of people", which is good advice, but if those are the only connections they have, and they aren't able or willing to make new ones, they won't be so willing to just cut them off. But I do agree overall. I think they're probably looking for the wrong types of people in the wrong places to befriend or pursue romantically.
Be kind and loyal to him, and he"ll love you FOREVER.
VVomen with your sane mentality are one in a million - extremely cherished and nowadays, incredibly rare, it seems.
That's wholesome. I love it
And people wonder why AI girlfriends are expected to be a billion dollar industry
*Trillion
Yeah well the therapist market is going to get wild.
Infinite money glitch, they just keep paying. GG Onlyfans.
I can see a future, when 90+% of girls walk around with a Henry Cavillbot and guys with .
furry AI girlfriends? 🤨
Covid was a standard "day in the office" for me. It didn't change anything for me - all day by myself 😂
Other people didn't know what to do with themselves 😮
I truly relate to this. I was like, "I finally feel normal... Why is everyone so bummed out?" 😷
lmfao yeah i didn't notice much change. well going to gym or TKD club wasn't possible sometimes which sucked, but other than that atleast.
People called it "lockdown", I called it a really long gaming session
Yeah same. It's so odd, some of my friends were going insane, while nothing changed for me.
Same man I was happy lol
There was a meme about introverts during covid: "I just realised my life has been a quarantine." 😄
As a man, we're brought up being taught to struggle and bear our burdens alone, because to share them is to show weakness and weakness leads to being exploited by someone stronger than you. We are broken from the start. We grow up KNOWING that we don't really matter to even the people we consider the closest to us. The first time most men ever receive flowers is at their own funeral. To the wider world, we are literally nothing and we're TOLD we're nothing. We're SHOWN we're nothing based on how others treat us.
We're struggling, and it's just getting worse. There are so many pressures from so many directions now, and we're just unable to be as perfect as we're required to be. We're more lonely than ever. We're replaceable. It just sucks. We aren't offing ourselves because we have mental illness. We're doing it because life has backed us into a corner and we don't see relief coming.
Very well said
Tate is one thing, but Asmon really took Peterson's "Clean your room" personally...
My entire life revolves around 2 rooms and it is always clean. I don't want to go outside. The weather sucks. I'm still waiting for global warming. I should be that guy who lives in a box on top of a mountain waiting for Godzilla to spawn. Just drop me a crate of supplies once a month
@@Azmania3000I’m slightly like you. But thanks to working out and actually looking good I gained confidence, female validation, and friends. Not everyone loves me, but I try to be likable. Life isn’t perfect but you’re in charge of your life.
Honestly men are generally fed up with being told 'do better' ok I will but I want when I go out to see everyone doing better but that never happens so at sone point you just do your best just so you can have other people who do anything but trying to be better and these very same people are focusing all their time and energy to harm you in one way or another because that is bringing them profit. So you... F cleaning your room if you don't feel like it. My room being clean should be one of the last thing that concerns you. What should bother you is if I keep the area where we spend time together clean? Am I a capable person to work with etc.
@@george_MF_washington You are like him, but attractive.
Dr. K killed Reckful.
"i feel the more i tell people the way i feel, the more they will realise im insane" this is top tier comedy
as if everyone didnt know asmon is deeply unwell mentally. It's insane how in touch he is with so many things but not himself.
Comedy? That feels to real to laugh at damn 😅
@@xAudiolith My buddy is legit struggling to cope with life.
A common phrase I've used in awkward social interaction is "ignore me, I'm insane" but I don't actually want to be ignored. I want to feel supported, feel like I'm part of the group
The saddest thing is how so many women online reacted to this... reinforced the "keep your shit to yourself"
I'm glad I have a wife I can talk to... but even with a supporting and understanding wife I dont let them know how bad or dark I truly feel right now (lost my dad 2 weeks ago and we were VERY close)
Strength to you, and hope you'll get better.
13:30 I'm in my 30's and I remember when I was maybe 7 I woke up feeling sick and went to tell my mom. I was scared and really didn't want to throw up. She was neglectful and abusive, but I really just wanted someone to comfort me. She grabbed me by my throat and drug me into the bathroom while telling me she wished she wasn't a mother. She forced my head into the toilet and was screaming at me that if I was going to throw up then I needed to hurry up. It's not really what Dr. K is talking about, but the core idea of a kid going to their protector for help and being shut down for that is astoundingly traumatic.
has your relationship with your mom gotten any better? Hopefully you now understand why she was/is so horrible
Well here is the thing about "incels", the definition changes depending on who you ask.
A normal dude could be an incel depending on how mentally deranged the person you are talking to is.
i've been called an incel because i don't want to date. It was at that point i came to the conclusion people don't know what the "in" part of "incel" means
@@bobowon5450 It depends on which of 'can't' or 'don't want to' came first. Some people don't want to, because they couldn't and gave up, myself as a case in point. I'm a semi-incel - I probably would be an incel if I tried to meet girls, but I never even tried to date and have learned helplessness in that department.
I go with the actual definition of involuntary celibate, so I consider myself an Incel because I'm 30, without a partner, and a virgin. But the term is used now to just attack people.
"incel" "nazi" etc have now devolved into "person i don't like" or "person i disagree with"
@@shonenbat6553 Pretty much.
the very nature of human interaction has been destroyed.
The only people who still do it naturally at this point in america are the amish and the mormons. Im currently debating with myself on which to join.
@@stronensycharte64 amish are chill
@@stronensycharte64and Orthodox Christian parishes and monasteries
Yeah we dropped it, so are we gonna fix it, make something new or cry over the spill until we are dead.
@@heronoverdose There is no fixing it so clearly the last one.
You are not a pervert, You are not a creep, You are not a freak.
You are just not tall or rich enough. That's it.
37 years old incel here who lives with their parents while playing video games all day. Last time I dated was about 10 years ago. The woman I went out with for 4 months was telling all my friends behind my back that I was actually stalking her. This went on for the whole four months until the last friend I had left asked me why I "was doing this to her". Imagine my confusion. She was also telling people that I became friends with her mom so she would force her to date me. I was only in her house once and talked with the mom for about 10 minutes tops. The whole ordeal sent me back into heavy depression and made me quit college. It also gave me chronic severe anxiety attacks that hit me every once and again.
I Heard your story bro I'm really sorry to hear that keep on keeping on brother we're all going to make it! 🍻💪🤘
Holy hell...
she sounds mentally ill.. as hard as it can be try not to let one person effect and control your whole life especially someone as crazy as that. If people believed her after you only dated for 4 months then they never knew you to begin with no loss and you saved yourself from future heartbreak. Alot more people are in or have been in your shoes than you probably think.. Also don't let people label you and keep your head up
@@geo5295 Well, the damage is done.
It’s up to us as Individuals to take responsibility for our own lives
As a man never show what haunts you, the world doesnt care. You can express discontent on superficial annoyances but even that is looked down upon. I truly dont believe men ever fully open up even those with the most successful families.
The one time i opened up to my ex wife about my problems and my struggles she made fun of me and never stopped bringing it up years later. People are evil.
@@stronensycharte64
I was fired once in my life - not due to any issues with my work. I accidentally found out about some corrupt stuff the leadership was involved in. They cheated tens of millions, if not hundreds out of the company. I felt really betrayed, because I made that company a fortune with my work, and in the end I was kicked out and treated like a criminal and nobody stood up for me - not my manager, not my coworkers, not the girl that was madly in love with me, not the many so called friends I made there. I told my wife about it, and how badly I felt because of it, and how I wish I didn't say this or that.
Well, wife keeps bringing that up quite frequently when we fight.
Don't show weakness. Especially not to women. Discuss that crap with your brother, or a close friend. And only if it can't be turned against you. My 2 cents, at least.
They have successful families because they know how to cope with absolute loneliness.
I disagree, Asmon literally just shared his mental health shortcomings in this video and it was very cathartic for allot of people.
@@ericwaln2056 While i have no definite proof who is to say he doesnt have more issues he couldnt say. Also he just had a chance to share cause he was reacting to a video that was discussing why men cant express certain emotions.
28:50 Also boys are being stopped using their aggression BEFORE they learn how to scale it (it obviously must be controlled), resulting in a "nothing, nothing, nothing, KILLKILLKILL" response algorhytm.
Learn to scale - warning, threat, threat and entering personal space, push in the chest.... and so on.
That's a very good point
@@cokeweasel1064 It doesn't help we tell women de-escalation is sexist. You tell men to just buckle the pressure until it pops, you should never discipline a woman. Then you tell women they can do whatever they want because everyone's out to get you.
I felt that, only time I felt ready to completely eviscerate someone was when this guy threatened a cashier and yelled at everyone throwing shit at her she was like 15 the dude was a grown ass man it wasn’t okay. I was about two seconds from catching a felony charge as I’d been laid off two weeks before that but luckily he bitched out right as I was walking up to him and I’ve never been a violent or angry person but there was nothing but rage and someone to take it out on in that moment. I’ve never been a violent or even agressive person I’ve never even been in a fight but that day I was about to unleash 6 years of anger and frustration and I should take that advice adrenaline was through the roof at that moment im glad I didn’t swing first because you can’t express any anger and violence today even in a situation like that he could sue and I’d be fucked which is hilariously ironic that I even had to consider the fact he had a Mercedes waiting for him typical am I right?
I agree, but this is only stuck emotionally. In practice, you can and will control your actions rationally and act accordingly... _until something goes wrong._ Yet at the point where it becomes a problem, you are unable to seek help and fix it because you will be seen as a threat and promptly eIiminated.
That's a thing any form of "contact sport" (starting at soccer and basketball even, not even combat sports necessarily) teaches you really well.
Omg, this discussion dredged up so many old painful memories. This spoke volumes about my childhood growing up.
im an introvert who became an Extroverts but is back being a introvert. i appreciate being an introvert more you definitely see how differently people treat you, being extroverted is kinda like having more money in a social energy way and some people will treat you the same way based on that so called social wealth, being an introvert is like being poor and happy, yet rich in knowing how people will treat you. no one will know how much you care and love. being stoic is our face
That’s why monks isolate themselves and meditate. They don’t want to poison themselves and meditating they pass time within themselves.
One could say “it’s egocentric” but in reality you simply learn how to deal with your humanity, therefore you now know how to deal with others. And you became much more humble, honest, kind and righteous.
damn that sucks
Isolation is half of depression so it's not a good idea unless you aren't depressed
@@smoothmarvingaming1309 no you isolate from useless thing and a noisy life.
Dr. K killed Reckful.
@@lel90no reckful killed reckful
When I had a bad day, I ALWAYS say that I had a bad day if someone asks. When someone asks me if I am ok, I ALWAYS say if I am not ok. Screw pleasantries.
@@zogwort1522 I legit can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.
@@zogwort1522 Brags? Did I miss a page in the definition or something? Why do you think I’m someone who thinks my misery is okay or is something I’m proud of?
Are you okay, man? We can talk this out.
@@zogwort1522 Sure, I guess. If that makes you feel better.
@@zogwort1522 You mistook the guy replying to you for OP.
So you take european stance 😂
Love your content man. You have one of the most thought provoking reactions channel out here.
Im such a mega introvert. I have worked from home for 12 yrs in corporate settings (just got lucky that way) The few times I had to go to the HQ in Portland was literal hell for me. I saw my office coworkers in the open office plan (whoever came up with that should be guillotined) and knew that if I was local there is no way I would have my job. I was fine running zoom meetings, training, hitting my goals ect remotely. THEN covid happened and they all had to WFH.... I saw so many co workers (extroverts) just fall apart... it was nuts! Huge Fan Asmon! Not sure how many 40 yr old female followers you have but Im guessing few lol.
Asmon worried about people thinking he's insane, that is hilarious. That is exactly why people like you dude.
If you insane you can go mad kek
As a big guy, 6ft 300lbs, i have spent my whole life being told I have to calm down the second I get emotional. I understand that it's scarrier when a bigger guy gets angry or whatever, but it does get to you.
Something I've noticed about myself, is that when i get mildly angry, people see it as rage. I think the problem is I don't know how to regulate my outward anger venting levels. I'll be louder than I intend to be. Which is probably due to the lack of socialization experience.
maybe don't calm down lol
The bigger you are the more people treat you like a monster
When I was in highschool I was 6'2" 294lbs and I took a step back one day and body slammed a girl. It was a small movement from me that ended up knocking the wind out of her. Ever since then I am afraid of making big moves when around other people, I would rather stay/sit still.
@@joelvaldesjr.7404 You accepted it like it's a bad thing. It's really not. You can use it like you unintentionally did by hurting others (or bullying or w/e) or you can use it for your community, helping move big object, make people feel secure around you, grab stuff from high place, etc. It's not a negative thing.
My biggest issue and why i struggled a lot and became incredibly insular and introverted at college and Uni was that when you do get stressed out or struggle with life or something in your personal life happens, people dont care because they have their own problems to deal with. The response is "get therapy" because its too much effort for them to sit down, open up, and talk about eachothers problems. Nobody knows or cares to talk anymore, and now dealing with negativity has become a professional business where you spend money to talk to a therapist when all you need is an ear to bend or a shoulder to lean on. The world has become so incredibly heavy upon people's shoulders that they cant bear the weight of just listening, appreciating, and understanding something from someone else's perspective.
Even just making friends; this girl messaged me asking if she missed anything in class because she didn't turn up. I told her what she missed. Few days later, messaged her back to ask how she was doing. Ghosted. The next week, the teacher has a "quiet word" with me about me messaging this girl and how they didnt like it. For context, it was an art class mixed with photographers and i was the only guy, so i couldnt exactly pick or choose what gender i wanted my friends to be. But just because i was a guy, asking people in class how they are or trying to discuss assignments with them becomes "creepy". This isnt even school-school though, this is college and uni; we're between the ages of 18-22. Grown adults actually complaining about other grown adults, to grown adults. They will literally report yoy for anything.
In another situation, this new romanian girl wanted help navigating the college (weren't even in the same class) so i helped as best i could. I wasnt interested in a friendship or getting too involved with them because i was busy with my own work, so we eventually stopped talking and I started ghosting them. Again, i get reported to student services (basically student HR) for upsetting this girl because i stopped talking to her. Theres me in this room with 3 other women from student services and safeguarding officers grilling me about this situation, nobody there to represent me or be on my side; hell, nobody else in that room was even remotely neutral. They were all firmly against me. I left that room, sat in the cafeteria, heart pumping with adrenaline ive never felt in my life, thinking of what to do with my life and how much i hated the world and everything in it, and how much i want to leave it. When someone ghosts me, im the bad guy. When i ghost someone, im still the bad guy. Thats when i just decided to stop trying to find a relationship in college and uni because the girls were all victimising narcissistic assholes who think a man asking how youre doing on your assignment is creepy and out to get you. You grow up in school seeing so many people you know in relationships, wishing you could experience it. Then when you become a fully grown adult, yoy still cant experience it. Seeking relationships with peers is a pretty normal and healthy thing to do, but the working environments or at least just mine as far as im aware for my time in college and uni is detrimental to the self esteem and confidence of a young man just trying to define themselves as they grow into adulthood. I did eventually find a relationship after finally giving up, but its a badge of embarrassment to say it has been my first and only relationship and im now 25 as of writing this. I dont hate women, but its the kind of experiences that can lead to men becoming incel gigachad coomers who follow musk, tate, and hate women.
The loneliness of being 16-22 was honestly the worst years of my life, and i know for a fact that im not alone in that.
funny thing about all this is every introvert ive met are actually the nicest people to get along with because theyt dont have any of the traits an introvert dislikes, like one thing being egotiscal for example. The only person an introvert can truly get along with is another introvert to a certain degree ofc, everyone is still different wheather you are an extravert or introvert, but if have the same interestes and outlooks, it really solidifies who you will get along with.
A lot of people have forgotten how to process internally, they are scared to process their own thoughts.
This is very important for good long term mental health.
how do you do that?
Maybe? It feels like I've tried it, but ultimately gave up when it kept getting stuck on "WTF do I DO about it?"
i don't get it
Its not always about having a fix for a particular issue. Sometimes you need to process the information to find a way to resolve it. Another will be to process the information and accept there is nothing you can do to fix that situation.
The important part is the process itself. When you don't do it it becomes an issue that manifests later down the road and or sits at the back of your mind.
I am one of the lucky ones that have always been able to do this. I also have very good mental health due to the way I process problemssnor concerns. I do have the occasional bad day like everyone but ultimately I have control
By engaging in the process you actually get better at creating solutions for yourself.
I've tried to listen to my inner self which seems to always be looking to the future. What should I do next even though I've just started something. I'm an extremely bad over-thinker. I'm always looking into the future to prepare myself for what bad things could happen at an event or something. By the time that I get there I've already experienced everything in my head and I'm bored and tired. I'll try to experience something new and then my inner self likes to remind me of all my past failures and embarrassments when I get out of my comfort zone. So now I drown out my inner voice with music.
P.S it doesn't help
My mom does karaoke with her friends. There are like 40 of them. I went to watch once. On the mic she announced I’m her son and I’m an introvert. I never went again. Ive always been like this, when i was 6 i asked her to stop talking to the cashiers at the grocery store because i thought it was rude. Im not ashamed or sad or suffering. i like being alone.
I would have left immediately. Even if it means walking home alone.
It such a rude thing to do, to a fellow adult, and that relationship is now an adult-parent to an adult-child. That adult to adult aspect is the most important part of that relationship. This means the respect of the other adult in the relationship is important.
We're gonna makeit bro!
my mom did it constantly when I was a child, it was so humiliating. I think that she wanted me to react to prove her wrong, but it just induced the opposite reaction in me
Parents embarassing their kids. This isnt something new
Chances are, you'll look back on that moment.
Learn to laugh at yourself because once your mom is gone. Well, lets see if that loneliness really helps
Life is ass, relationships these days are ass because the pool of people are ass. Most of life is hopeless and the future doesnt look any better. Many are angry at the world and for good reason. We should be utilizing our collective anger and rage against the ones who put us in this place.
What he said about life being not worth living for some people is very accurate. And a big reason I see in a lot of people I interacted with in the past is the lack of a clear goal or, ironically, having a goal that is way too high. Because what happens is you either live your life, go to work, go home, do chores, do grocery shopping and repeat while slowly fading away because there is zero purpose in your life other than being essentially a slave to a routine that doesn't do anything for you, or you work yourself to exhaustion because you cannot reach what your eyes are set to.
I spent most of my teenage years and part of my 20's in therapy with psychiatrists and not once did I ever hear anyone acknowledge life circumstances as a reason for depression and not a "chemical imbalance". Thwarted belonging was 100% the source of the depression I went through and I've never heard anyone put it so succinctly. I must have been to at least 6 therapists and not one of them even considered it or if they did ever suggest it to me.
It's amazing I've never heard it put into those words but it makes so much sense based on my personal journey. The sad part is, how do you even fix something like that? I've always struggled with "being true to myself" vs "be someone the group would like".
@@7ripleSeven7 yeah I feel you on that I did for a long time. At the end of the day it is a balance that requires some give and take and I know the give part was especially hard for me as I imagine it is for many others. Ultimately it comes down to a controlled burn if you will, letting the dead wood (the parts of yourself that are bad for you) burn away so new growth and take its place.
They want to make sure they're writing as many prescriptions as possible, for as long as possible. Everyone gets depressed, unless you truly have a chemical imbalance you should be able to recover if you keep working toward solving the issues that are making you depressed. Lose your job, find another one, lose you girl, get over her and find another one etc...
@@7ripleSeven7 it's very simple.
psychologists and therapists are frauds.
why do you think there was such a huge push years ago to make depression this "the brain is not properly working"-thing and not anything else?
They want to sell you the idea that their is something fundamentally wrong with your body/brain. so you need meds to feel good.
to fix your issue...
@@blitzcraig1001 as I've learned more about phycology over there years I'm starting to think "chemical imbalance" is code for we can't figure out what's wrong with you for what ever reason. It's not like they do blood work and actually check your brain chemistry
The best advice I have ever gotten “ do not sweat the small shit and fuck ‘em “ if it’s not life and death at the end of the day it’s not that big of a deal
From my perspective I don’t get why Dr K says we men are only allowed to feel anger using the schoolyard bully as an example. I was taught as a kid to hit back because of the simple fact that it works, in life. The teachers are unhelpful so crying for help is pointless. This isn’t some societal failing, that’s just life. You can’t negotiate with a rabid dog, you can’t ask nature to stop sending the hurricanes, you deal with problems or they fester. If the bully is just saying mean words then who gives a shit. It’s impotent, a non-threat and a non-issue. I was also taught that I can only be insulted by someone I respect. When a known liar says some untrue insult about me I don’t care, because I don’t have any need to.
If a bully in the schoolyard hits you, you beat him until he submits, namely by crying like a little bitch, and call it a day, never star a fight always finish it. That’s not about anger, that’s about fixing a problem, and a physical bully is a problem who needs percussive maintenance. It’s not anger, it’s just the proper technique for the job. It’s not anger to hammer a nail, it’s just construction. It’s not anger to beat a bully until he stops being one, it’s just effective.
This right here is why I like Asmon. You can see from the number of pauses this is deep for him, and he shares it from the heart. I have to pause his video too, because it's deep for me too, and we can connect on this topic, even though he doesn't know me, and I don't know him besides the persona I get to see in his content. He gets to say words, and I get to listen and think about it from my life's context. And I enjoy the thoughts that he initiates with his videos because I feel I get to learn something about myself.
You're much appreciated, you jerky-lovin' goblin.
Yeah. I'll be honest i disagree with a lot of what he is saying but he is taking it seriously and that's all i need
It's comforting in a way to know I'm not the only one that really doesn't understand extroverts and ultimately society as a whole. I was diagnosed with autism at 32 after multiple attempts at my own life and constantly unsure of how to integrate. honestly it helped so much to realise why i was feeling how I was. and we're constantly told men are evil, that we're inherently bad.. It makes life such an uphill struggle. not having a father like alot of others, no ones ever shown me how to be a man, had to work it out for myself..
Same. At least we know there's lots of company with this misery. I actually tried to be ultra macho in my younger years, I even ignored the childhood abusive, drug addict father because I didnt want to be seen as a "weak victim mentality". If finally started facing it and acknowledging the pain. It's a journey.
Same. And I’m an extrovert. As much as I want to talk to people, though, I’m stuck as a hermit, a shut-in, in a house where I mentally don’t know how to get out of. My dad was a particularly sick piece of work who I parted ways with, but I’m just drifting along for now. Traumatized mom, indifferent little brother, and a grandma who’s trying to do her best for us before she’s gone, just like we will be one day.
Life is unreal, man.
Being an introvert does not mean that you would rather stay at home than go out, its that going out really drains you where as extraverts feel recharged being in social settings.
Nah, i'm an extreme introvert. I'd rather stay inside no matter what. I love my hobbies, i simply don't care what's happening in other people's lives. I'm stacking money for the future and chilling. Have a few friends, a dog, i'm good with my family members. That's good enough for me.
@@GamingAndChill as I said, that has nothing to do with being an introvert. That's just how u like to spend your time. You can be introverted and love to go out and do things and you can be extroverted and love to stay at home and do nothing.
Like everything else in life, its a spectrum. I've always been a loner, socially awkward and introverted, but I still enjoy social interactions. They're just draining and i tend to heavily limit them. I'm fine with being a shut in sometimes but I also like going out and around in the world, though usually alone or in a small group. I've always been comfortable being alone with myself and my thoughts, however. Many people aren't.
My therapist when i was going told me the biggest thing for young men is feeling purpose and belonging after i told him the last time i felt genuinely happy was when i was in the military. But here i am not doing anything to get back that sense of belonging. At the end of the day a lot of us know what we need to but dont have to will or drive to do it.
I grew up in a world of violence. Anger is necessary. People will not steamroll you if you are willing to confront them. Anger is necessary.
Time to stop listening to people who are perpetually afraid of their own shadows.
anger is only a necessity if youre not smart enough to outwit them. People fear the unknown way more.
@geo5295 Clearly you've never faced unreasonable people. Wit won't help when you're surrounded by 30 or more people. Especially if those 30+ people are carrying weapons and hearing nothing you have to say.
You havent met professional victims. Those who want to piss you off then cry like they are the victim. Meet enough people like that and you'll change your tune.
Shame I am not enough invisible when trying to cheat on exams...
Drink lemon 🍋😂
When that’s the only time people notice you :/
Wear a dress and you'll be celebrated for cheating.
I hope you're joking...
@@katarinadreams6955I hope he’s not
Streaming, talking on the phone/ discord is not the same as "being around people." You lose out on a lot of connection without being physically around friends.
I often dont want to go out or do something, but force myself to, because it never is something I look back on and regret.
It's helps when you live far from your friends. I would have fallen away from my friends completely if it weren't for Discord and online gaming.
@@cokeweasel1064 Which in turn denotes another problem: more and more people feel alienated around the people they are obligated to physically interact with. The place where they live only offers hobbies and personalities that are simply incompatible with them, and the act of moving to another city is increasingly becoming a luxury.
@@cokeweasel1064 for sure. Dont get me wrong, probably 90% of my friends interactions are through discord just because they live 6hr+ away from me. But also realize that isnt really a sufficient replacement to personal interactions.
I didint ever felt need for physical cintact with friends, shoorly its nice but highly optional
Really? I never feel that way, I usually regret going places to meet people if I don't take stimulants. The best thing about being online is that I can just log off and that's it, they're gone. Being around people is exhausting.
So, I fought off a very serious bout of depression back when I was 17/18. I fought it off, went to uni and met a partner who I stuck with for about 5 years. During Covid, I lost my job, my partner left me & I wound up back with my parents. I've hit 30 and unfortunately, no real improvement has been made. Don't get me wrong, I have a job again and have been working out a lot more, spending less time on gaming/online.. But I had another major explosion of anxiety/depression in Jan. Work has gotten harder, going out has stopped and anything out of my routine causes major panic attacks. I want to think I'm improving, but I feel like it's one step forward, two steps back. But I want to keep pushing and hoping that things can go up from here. That advice about just taking things one step, rather than listening to podcasts while multitasking is a seriously good point.
One thing that I´ve learnt, especially working in a psychward, is that taking one step at a time is sometimes too much. It´s better to see it as a staircase:
You have both feet on the ground and then you get up on that first step. Do not take the next step until you feel completely secure on the first. The next step might be really fucking hard, so it´s important to feel stable before taking it, becuase if you realize, when one foot is on the second step, that you can´t do it yet you can just put it down on the first step again.
However, if you dont feel secure on the first step yet, and you try to climp more steps, you might fall down, and that will hurt more.
This is also something I personally live by. I will absolutely take the next step, but never until I feel secure enough on the first.
(also "just because someone might have it worse doesn´t mean you dont have it bad")
I really hope you get through it. Life´s shit sometimes, or maybe it isn´t but you feel like shit anyway, that´s also valid. Depression, wether clinical or situational is never easy, but you´ve already made the first three steps, and that´s not something to take lightly.
It doesn´t feel like it right now, but you´re doing well. You´re doing your best, and I would be proud of you for that
Much love, man. I hope you end up happy in the end
@@v1ol4t0r Thanks bro. Reminds me of scrambling on scree, secure footing is important on loose rock.
After battling depression for 20 years... and nearly losing that battle a couple of times... I have learned that you can definitely train yourself to stop being introverted and truly think better of yourself with calm confidence. People hate hearing it, but I know first hand. You just have to want to be better.
Were you introverted or were you anxious or both? I'm not judging you i'm just curious about that since i always thought that introversion was just a trait not a problem or flaw.
Men aren't appreciated. They don't want to be seen as weak, so they won't seek help. It's so sad. Life is hard... for everybody. Be understanding.
When we do ask for help we get demonized by everyone. Not asking for help and learning to take everything on was and still is called surviving in a world that looks for any reason to hate and demonize us.
Yes
bc they been taught to not ask for help and to not be "weak" , but you need help , everybody does
If you'd hear what psychology graduates think about (struggling) men, you wouldn't want their help either.
this life isn't your heaven, it's a cage
“Today, all of humanity's dreams are cursed somehow. Beautiful yet cursed dreams.”
― Hayao Miyazaki
Hearing this made me realize that everyone struggles with their work, even if people think this work is easy
My dad passed away 9 months after being diagnosed with cancer because things spread so fast. I had a tremendous amount of anger due to the question of why. Why my dad? Why that fast? Anger often stems from questions that will never be answered.
@asmonTV this makes so much sense. This helped open my eyes. Thank you for uploading this ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Therapy is distinctly anti-man. The chances therapy will help are low and will make things worse is high.
Especially if its therapy by women who are likely to vastly underestimate the amount of help that is required, or the severity of the problems.
I don’t know about that one. I think more men should go to therapy. It’s one of the few places you can go to talk about your problems with a guarantee that what you say won’t exit that room unless you’re a danger to yourself or others
@NixLotus Look up the Therapists' videos who is in this video. You will find the spots where he talks about how female-centric the profession is and how often it fails to properly address men and men's experiences because the profession was built around women.
It's not that it cannot help, it's that your Therapist isn't likely to be as good as or as open minded as the man in this video.
We need goals and purpose, not therapy.
"Shopping" for a therapist is common and a real thing people do. The absolute first order of business as a guy is to look for a male therapist, a female therapist will mirror anything and everything to be your fault. At least when a male therapist holds you accountable for something you can believe it to be genuine. A female therapist however will likely try to tear you down, she's not there to help you.
Only to become suddenly visible when they need or want something. Funny how that works, eh?
Who out of the other ancient folks here remember going home after a long day and just staring at the wall or fan and “de-fraging” and processing everything that happened.
Now that time gets filled with busy work and outside influences and leaves folks lacking in real in-depth and independent introspective capacity.
waking up at 9 but laying there thinking about dumb stuff until a solid 11
I have just started seeing the video, but I want to say, I love this kind of content, keep it up Asmon
Someone asks “How are you?” You either say fine or contemplate your life in a millisecond.
Idk if its bad or not i just find it funny i always answer to this cookie cuter question with "Im still breathing.", and it always kicks ppl off from their small talk. I HATE SMALL TALK with ppl i have interaction once every decade JUST SAY HI and move on. XD
I've always hated the 'hi, how are you?" greeting. First, they don't really care. Second, it's none of their business.
"Could be worse."
"The horrors persist, yet so do I."
I just started saying negative fine like "I've been better" "Could improve" "Not the best".
Fuck fine, things aren't fine. I don't desperately want your pity, but I just don't wanna be dishonest.
People, are work. Women doubly so. Relationships cost time and money, which we all do not have these days. If i had money instead of a mortgage payment, i'd consider dating. I expect a lot of people are the same. And that doesn't even cover the amount of getting in shape that is required for modern men to even attract women, standards are too high to expect anything for all your efforts.
Getting in shape isn't a bad thing. It will extend your life. Don't do it for a girl, do it for yourself. Girls are more picky about heights than body type, and even then it can be ignored if you check enough boxes.
Brother get in shape for yourself. In fact anything related to self improvement should be for yourself. The first step towards happiness is learning to live with yourself. Once you do and realize hey regardless of what happens I'm good with it, then if you find someone else to share your life with you can go for it. But too many people get themselves in relationships thinking they gonna be fixed or be happy only to find hell. When my oldest Brother was around my age he being desparate to get married, ended up with someone who was batshit insane and to this day he is suffering because of it. When that happened to him I realized hmmm maybe being alone isn't that bad. 😂
You seem neurotic
Just go to the gym for an hour a day three days per week and you'll look like thor. Are you just lazy or what?
Man a bunch of men in these comments crying. Society is so cooked, but hard times create strong men etc.
thank you for this video man fr
@22:06
I feel you bro!!
You’re doing great work. I’ve decided you are inspirational for young men
We aren’t being heard
And are glad someone else can just talk about what’s going on
Men's mental health issues needs more dialog these days
Yes, but without the BS like "men need to be more feminine, less stoic, less assertive and talk more and more openly about their feelings and emotions". Talking for us (obviously in general) doesn't solve anything and just adds another uncomfortable layer to our problems. We need solutions, actions to take, and proofs (hope) that things are going in the right direction
My 2 negative cents. There are places for this, but it doesn't get traction as men themselves look down on it due to "take it like man."
@@somedude077 Those arent "men themselves". It's the people who have gone through the same issues but accepted it as an unchangeable reality. It's the same as how people who have worked all their lives tell the younger generations to do the same as them and suffer through work. Simply because it worked for them, it should work for others, right? It's just how humans evolved. Pass on the wisdom of the old to the young, even if that wisdom isnt good.
it great seeing you covering this topic. This issue cuts deep and has been going on forever its simply just not discussed enough.
During covid i had a really hard time getting used to being alone because there was so much i didn't like about myself, any time spent in my head was self depricating but i used the self hate as fuel to burn and fixed my problems. certainly not easy and i know a lot of people who couldn't flip that negativity
Kevin Bacon is the king of invisible
John Cena is right there
who?
@@mandolorian9893 where?
@@mandolorian9893are you sure about that
@@mandolorian9893 Who is right where?
There arent any high paying jobs for blue collar non college educated workers so we can generate enough money to purchase a home and save money in order to have a family. Men realize that there is only a few good jobs and all those are given to friends/family of people who know the person who has the good job available...Not only, but the rich Kid whose dad was the pharamciist whose sons flunks out of college and uses his connections to get all the city work contracts for construction.. gotta love it
programming is one, no need of college.
Plain wrong. If you can't save 10-20k for a down payment you have bad lifestyle learn to cut down
@@robenriven
I asked ChatGPT4 what would be a funny reply to your comment. She says (YES, she is a SHE, okay?!):
So, if I learn programming, will I get the city work contracts for construction too? Asking for a friend... 👷♂💻🏗
You don't need a house or a family to be happy. If that's important to you, fine, work towards it as best you can, but realize its not a necessity. Don't be afraid to go your own way, or to approach your goals in a roundabout way. Remember, the people who tell you that you "need" these things are usually the ones selling them to you.
This isn't true. In my friend group alone, not just ppl I know tangentially. 2 friends work maintenance at an auto factory both make 150k, I have 2 friends that are union millwrights, 1 make 200k, the other works 7 months and takes off 5 months with his family and makes 120k. I have another friend that is a commercial new construction plumber makes 100k. One friend owns a small auto shop and works 2 weekends a month doing union work and he makes 300k a year. None of these ppl have a college degree. A few of them took 6 month trade school courses. I am 43 and semi retired from telecommunications work and now run a small business instead.
I remember listening to lecture by Alan Watts and one thing he says that he says to anybody tells him that they want to commit suicide is that it’s entirely their right to do that. He says that when you tell somebody who wants to commit suicide that they have every right to do it oddly enough, it will lead to them, feeling less shame about it so that they’re actually less likely to do it when they feel some sense of control.
My last relationship I was in was really rough because of these issues. Every time I had something come up that would bother me, I would get a response like “well did you maybe consider that you feel this way because of something you did and not me?”
Shit really hurt and I spent years feeling like I didn’t matter.
When I clicked on this video I was shown an ad for “drag queens save the world”
These are systemic problems
lol imagine not using adblock
Why shame people for their choices
@@johnlinkswhat a dumb comment. Why shame people for the choices they make? Cuz they make bad choices and we want them to make better choices. Shame works.
@@johnlinks It's more fun to hate what you don't know than to accept it
@@canihave1dab724 Shame can work but its a hella inefficient compared to raw constructive criticism.
27:00 when he started talking about the anger, it literally resonated with me.
At around 7-8, I suddenly chilled out. If I got angry back then, I’d literally bite and poke people’s eyes out (partly why I never got bullied). I must’ve realized it wasn’t worth it when I was really young
Somehow we let children express emotion in a safe and controlled environment. Then they become adults and we take it away and expect them to just interalise it??
Same here. I am mostly fine being alone.
"Just make friends" doesn't work well for some of us on the times we do reach out.
*"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"*
Have not felt "happiness" in 5 years. Not one time.
Neither have I, man.
I haven't been happy since the 80's.
I was born depressed but i still can feel hapiness time to time
Damn. I mean... damn.
Here I am, 38-yo self-proclaimed incel, marinating in his own deep personal failure...
And even I feel happy from time to time. It might be once a month at most, but it does happen.
I hate people.... In general....
sounds like you have bad company in general
@@askbeats-ye nope saw a side I didn't want to see am mostly accompanied by ghosts by the way dare to see !?
I don't like people in general, but stupid ones are the worst to deal with
based
I want to shake ur hand but then........ u get it :D
As a long time watcher of your content, I think its only fair that I express my thoughts and feelings and I just wanna say... Asmon, you are truly an inspiration and watching your content motivates me to become better at verbally constructing my ideas in a more intelligent manner. As long as I've watched you, you've been 100% genuine for who you are as a person despite what kind of differences in opinion others might have. At the end of the day I think the biggest problem men face is feeling pressured into the stigma of what society considers a man is. We need to come to the realization that not everyone is the same. What might bring self satisfaction and feelings of being content might not be enough for the next person to feel that same self satisfaction, or it might too much.
It's such a disgusting dichotomy.
"Why should I care about your problems? You're a nobody."
"Why should I care about your problems? You're successful."
During my college years, I was hanging on a very thin thread, I was working side by side my studies and trying to get by but it was never enough completely and I had to heavily rely on my parents and it felt really awful and it became worse when I didn't get scholarship for my masters. Most of the times I resented myself for not being good enough and not doing enough, some times I resented my parents for not being able to provide for me and some times I hated the world, but I made it, I came out fine on the other side but there were many a times when I wanted to waste my life. I don't know if the grind was worth it or not but what I am really happy about is that right now, I am able to support my parents and they acknowledge my success and my support for them.
bro its crazy listening to asmon and realising how similar my personality is to his, its honestly really helping to here this from another person and find out how he copes with it, thanks asmon you really helped me today
Aye, asmon is a real one that's why we're here
i dont believe in calling someone a loser. "You Are Not a Failure Until You Start Blaming Others for Your Mistakes"
Gotta love these people that listen to a podcast, lecture and education on the brink of waking up with the perfect morning lol
i hated school. the social aspect of it. family allways told me i should enoy it, cause the seriousness of life (ernst des lebens) i have not seen yet.
this was, and still is the most demoralizing thing anyone could say to a young person.
und nun? schuften für geld ohne kaufkraft, opferst du deine gesundheit und deine lebenszeit für einen ort der dich morgen ersetzt hätte. das haben die alten gemeint. und sie hatten recht. absolut krank diese normalität sein leben zu ver-arbeiten.
This "Ernst des Lebens" bullshit comes from people who haven't figured out as an adult how to design their life in a way that gives them meaning. Or they just repeat stuff without knowing why
School was pure hell for people like us
They were prob just trying to prepare you
I have thought about saying things like that to my niece and nephews at times because I love them and want them to be prepared for the horrors ahead
Being a kid was fun, but adult life has its own penchant of purpose, happiness, joy, and yes, also burdens and apocalypses.
I disagree with the statement most domestic violence comes from men. Men rarely report their abuse so I think the numbers are skewed.
Lol
We also aren't believed. I was abused, told other people and they shunned me and didn't believe me. Feels like there's no point. No one to help.
The most violent relationships are between 2 lesbians, and the most peaceful relationships are between 2 guys. I wonder who, statistically, makes life harder for their SO...
Yeah man I've been in 2 relationships where the woman did things that would ABSOLUTELY be considered abusive and violent. Never reported and too embarrassed to tell anyone, obviously can't hit back or I'm done for so I just took it 🤷♂️ super common
Most domestic violence is initiated by women. Studies clearly show that.
Child abuse and neglect: women, mostly mothers are leading there.
Elder abuse: again, women are winning!
Stuff like this always makes me so grateful for having friends and family i can be completely open with. If you arent lucky enough to have that at the moment please dont give up, there are truly amazing and loving people out there ❤ 🙏
I had a strong father figure, became an electrical engineer, own a nice car and know how to talk to people. I am still an incel at 39 years of age though, because I am an introvert and hate to interact with people. I know how to interact with people and I am a teamleader in the R&D departement at my company but I just don't want to have personal interaction after work. I am selfish and hate people, but I am also able to play a role in public that makes people think I am just normal. After a couple of years people stopped asking me why I have no girlfriend and they are now busy with their families. To them I am a walking midlife crisis without the crisis part though. I am content with being a loner.
Imo the worst part of being a loner are all those people that constantly pester you with stuff like "Why aren't you making friends? When will you start a family? Are looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend yet? But aren't you lonely though?"
They don't just ask once, sometimes they do so every chance they get and it absolutely sucks.
I don't think you know the meaning of involuntary.
@@sebastianbronowicki7073 Some people don't have anyone who even cares to ask that. So, eh, we all have crosses to bear.
I feel your pain brother! I've lived that a slightly similar life for almost four decades as well. In my situation I had relationships but they were usually always short and I never felt like I was understood by any of them. I have a job, made some ok-ish money when the company was at its peak. A fully functional mostly-invisible life. I try to find meaning where I can. Somedays I'm ok with it, others not so much. And my family doesnt ask about my life anymore either. Instead they look at me with some blend of uncertainty/trepidation/and maybe fear? What a world...
It's ok to be content with introversion and don't worry about others opinions. You don't sound like an incel either.
My way to avoid self deletion has been to find something to look forward to that I have to see. When I start running low on those it’s harder to distract myself…..I’m super introverted though so Covid was sweet socially, getting laid off TWICE wasn’t sweet but I joined a sim racing league. Another thing to look forward to weekly