How to Deal with Clutter When You Have ADHD
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- Опубликовано: 13 июл 2020
- Clutter is one of the hardest things for me personally. I move quickly and stuff ends up everywhere. I finally hired someone to help -- and they were SO helpful, I asked if they could help you too. Enjoy!
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Hi all! Carmen here, so glad to see that people are finding this helpful!
I saw some people ask about making it so they could fill it out online, and others concerned about creating paper clutter (I hear you on that one!!!).
If you want to edit an electronic copy of the worksheet, you can copy it into your own google drive and then it will be your own private copy. You go to file and select "make a copy."
If you don't have a google account, then "file, download" should let you open it in a standard word processing program, although it might look a little unsightly (I haven't tested that).
Thank you so much for sharing your expertise.
Thanks for the help, this was much needed at the moment! Love your accent too eh
Fellow Canadians! Love it. Thank you. :D
@@rgnewlife6622 Hi Rene, please do not post your personal information out on the internet such as your email. You never know who may see it (or misuse it for that matter). If you'd like to view the worksheet, there is a link to it in the description. I hope this helps you out, have a lovely day :)
THANK you, thank you thank you. I'm drowning over here and I feel like i'm pulling other people under with me
The worst part about clutter is when you start rebuying stuff you misplaced in your own home and cant find it!
Me and craft supplies. Please don't ask how many glue guns I have. I honestly don't know 😬
🤦🏾♀️
my spices! If I use it a lot I forget to put it back, lose it, buy a new one, and then find the old one behind a box on the counter =(
Yes! So true!
@@enesthi Lol! I can relate! We are currently remodeling our kitchen and had to pack up the cupboards... I've found several of one spice, several times!!!
When she talks about the clutter/overwhelm/avoidance cycle, sometimes I do a short-term fix to break that: physically cover the area that's stressing me out, like with a blanket or something, it reduces the "overwhelm" and helps me get started.
Isn't that just the "avoidance" part of the cycle
@@FreyrDev if you cover it and walk away, that's avoidance. If you cover it so you can get started somewhere else, that's a tool.
Brilliant! This comment just made me realize why I can only clean my half of the bedroom when my BF has just cleaned his... even though it's not my mess, it's still contributing to overwhelm. Huh!
I will sometimes do a similar thing: I'll put part of the mess in the closet temporarily so I can deal with another part.
edit: to clarify, I put it in my laundry basket (which is typically empty) which makes it mentally clutter in motion rather than just stasis in the closet.
Nice advice, remove the overwhelm inorder to focus on some decluttering.
I feel so accepted and understood when listening to you speak. I am ashamed of my mess and paralyzed with fear of the condemnation when reaching out to ask for help. Thanks for encouraging this 61 year old.
❤❤❤❤
"Some level of clutter is inevitable" is so reassuring to hear, I'm actually crying.
I just looked around at my morning coffee spot and noticed how messy it is again, but I congratulated myself because it was a lot messier last week before I had cleaned it.
I always think of houses on tv or in magazines or even people’s houses when they’re hosting parties and stuff and how everything is clean and put away, but daily life isn’t like that. You have to actually use things and make a mess to live. I need to focus more on making my spaces functional rather than picture perfect…
Me, watching this in my messy room that I’ve been meaning to clean for days: 👁👄👁
For me it’s months
Big mood
I think it might have been close to a year for me
I intended to yesterday and now I got folded clothes all over my floor😂
*years
(I bought an ikea closet back in March and I have yet to build it. Did I mention it was March 2019)
I felt that spinning wheel so hard.
It was missing a few rungs: shame and despair.
Torment
That spinning wheel is my whole life *laughs awkwardly*
Felt Hard! It made me cry. Validating.
Yup..I feel like a spinning wheel
This makes me cry because I connect with it on so many levels! "Being the only woman who can't keep the house clean" that's me, and after 38 years I am learning I'm not the only one, and why every book I red, Every method I tried never stuck.
Same here. (Except 40 years in)
It's looking like my son may have ADHD, and the more and more I learn about it, the more I think I do too.
40 years of shame. The relief in realizing maybe there's a reason I struggle with these things.
Me also...you're not the only woman who can't keep a clean house.
Cleanliness is not gender-based.
If we have to climb over the clutter in stasis would that become clutter in motion ?
It’s not even a joke really 😭
@@curiousorange8232🤣🤣😭😭❤️❤️
Yes. It's nice to not feel alone in this state of being so messy. I'm in three groups with people who have kids the same age as mine, toddler and baby (which is a lot for anyone) but I have one of the least tidy houses, possibly the least tidy. Even in my dbt group where everyone else also has mental health struggles in addition to kids.
0:22 - 0:47 Yes! Exactly how I explained it to my boyfriend! It’s hard to clean or do any task while having adhd(from mom), some ocd(from dad), dissociation due to trauma, and also mal-adaptive daydreaming. People think you’re just lazy and if you try to explain, they think you’re making excuses.
Shelby, I hope your timeline works out better for you than mine. Looking back, I probably should have been diagnosed with ADHD 50+ years ago.
@@carlbromley5257 Being unable to get rid of clutter is a sign of not only ADD and OCD but also mainly Hoarding Disorder.
and with autism it's terrible when I was raised in the south AND we were taught girls should be clean n tidy if we can't keep a house up how can we ever keep a man ? basically our value as a woman is based on how well we can clean and cook and still go to work full time (working overtime) with a part time job plus full time college plus church on sunday with the family. smfh
@@joanschilleci7564 I tell people that “I have OCD, but not the ‘functional’ type”
My therapist didn't get this years ago when I told her. She said oh, you're Ocd is really bad right now? So you've been cleaning the house like crazy? No, it's a dang mess! 😂 @@ittyfittykelly
As women, we are especially hard on ourselves for not having the perfect, tidy home. I love this idea of some level of clutter being okay.
Societal expectations have a lot to answer for!
I don't think men are immune to that. I'm always embarrassed by that.
@@MrKeychange Yeah as a man I've always felt plenty of shame about this from parents, roommates, etc. It's been a problem as long as I can remember and very seldom can I seem to self-motivate long enough to clean everything to everyone else's standard. I'm supposed to clean my basement today but I'm terrified to take dirty dishes upstairs for fear of judgment from roommates.
@taughtmetobloom, I agree, a little bit of stuff lying around looks like a human being lives in this space. I wouldn't want to live in a furniture store exhibit.
@@MrKeychange my house gets cluttered I get criticism from family and friends - my husband doesn't because apparently it's not his "job". I have complained when my in-laws were around and my father-in-law told me that "It's your responsibility to keep the house in order, it's got nothing to with him. You just need to work harder."
When they talked about the clutter being there so long you start to move around it😂😭
Ah yes, clutter-as-furniture.
Luxurio Music like a wild obstacle course every day!
I saw three different piles in my head at that moment. lol
I used to drive my Mum crazy because I wouldn’t notice things that needed tidying. Like, it’s been there so long it’s just part of the room now. I literally don’t see it.
I'm over here thinking some piles have been there so long you go around them in your sleep!
As another woman who gets annoyed with herself for being the only one who can't keep her house clean, I completely relate. I'm so relieved to know that I'm actually not the only one. ♥
Same
I've always considered myself a "borderling hoarder". Then I married a neat freak... luckily he's very patiently taught me over the years how to organize, how good it feels to have a tidy home, how everything needs it's own place ect... and I tell him every day how lucky I am to have him lol
Well this definitely explains the chair in my room of "clothes which have been worn but aren't dirty enough to wash yet" 😅👌
Omg yes! I didn't realize until just now that this is part of why my laundry is always so messy... I'm going to get something to put on my bars to separate clean/clean from worn/clean!!!
Update:. Bought separators... Hung them on the bars. Haven't put my clean laundry away yet though. Did hang up one outfit and used the separators so I think this may work! 🤔
I have this same chair in my kitchen 😅
i’ve found it helps to have a drawer or laundry basket dedicated to those clothes! that way i don’t have to refold them but i also have somewhere to put them :)
@@evaline9809 I plan on doing this as soon as I move (soon I hope).
The clutter caused by these clothes has become so much that it prevents me from opening my ACTUAL closet.
Which makes it difficult to put anything inside said closet, including freshly washed clothes, so I just store those where I can, creating more clutter ! (＠_＠;)
Every surface turns into a nightmare in moments! 😆 I end up using the floor as the table, the tables as drawers, and idkwtf is going on inside those drawers😭❤️😆
When you have to pull out a drawer to have a place to rest a pan or plate in the kitchen!
i'm using moving boxes and shelves as desks and tables and the floor as a couch rip
@@frogandtoady lol 😄 years ago I moved into an apartment and used a box full of clothes as a chair for so long that the box broke. I proceeded to use the broken box and clothes pile as a "recliner" on the floor for longer than I'd like to admit 😁
@@wadepatton2433 Soup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! three months too late pretty good for me :D. Think about it. vegetables lentils stock water Slow cooker (litters of convenience). Goes in coffee cups. Rinses, fridges, freezes. Pro tip peel with a knife, life's short and compost isn't waist. Stag tip Soup in a batch. Meat daily assuming you can be arsed. Cured meats are just as good in a pinch. Entertaining Korean bbq Literally a hot plate (camp stove) at the table. Massive savings on double platting.
Oh man xD I have an antique armoire thing with doors that open up and I keep hanging homeless stuff on it!! The drawers inside are so full/in chaos that I couldn't close the cabinets if I wanted too.....it was cool when it was just " ah I'll wear this tomorrow.." but it has become the place for things that aren't really dirty or need a bit of mending as well...drawers become shelves, and chairs become laundry baskets, The fireplace becomes a jewelry box and my office is where projects go to die 🤣
As a feng shui consultant, clutter is drummed into our training as being “bad feng shui”’and “negative energy”. I knew it had nothing to do with that and more about how our stories of stuff were impacting how we treated it and ourselves. I always say that piles aren’t the problem, it’s the stagnation of the piles. I love this video for the perspective shift, especially about the comfort to tech item ratio balance!
Clutter makes my brain feel terrible, but the clutter-overwhelm-avoidance cycle is SO REAL. Also, I tend to want to fix the clutter when I have other things I absolutely have to do-like when I’m overwhelmed at work.
Edit: Clutter in stasis is SUCH a thing. I moved recently and a lot of stuff still doesn’t have a home. There’s a lot of stuff standing in the way of getting everything in place (e.g., I need to set up the cabinet I purchased because the new apartment has way less clutter).
Edit edit: I ALSO hate tech clutter. Husband and I have deep disagreements about this, because he likes to have his tech free and accessible, whereas wire clutter makes my brain feel jumbled and chaotic.
Would love to see how neuro-atypical couples, with different brain needs, navigate cohabitation.
Thanos: I am Inevitable.
ADHD: Hold my clutter.
you deserve an award for that comment.
Ok, that made me giggle. Thanks for a smile:)
I'm a professional organizer of 19 years with a lot of ADHD clients and this was so eye-opening for me! Clutter in motion vs. clutter in stasis is going to be so helpful. I think of clutter in terms of active vs inactive, but for some cases, motion vs stasis is more fine-tuned. Thank you! Just subscribed.
Could you organise me please im deadly serious my mum says i dont have a bedroom i have a werehouse 😅😢
Agreed! Never thought of in motion vs. Stasis. Very useful lens!
Hey, Kacy! May I pick PM you to learn more about your business?
I did this instinctively somehow. Just knew that stuff I have for long-term storage can be put in inaccessible areas, like the corners of rooms, while stuff that I want easier access to, can be on shelves against the wall. Shelving is an ADHD person's best friend.
Now I need a guide to de-cluttering for OCD...
No, it's not a given that people with OCD are tidy. If you're obsessed with avoiding germs/preventing their spread, cleaning up becomes a Herculean task.
This helps me understand my wife's needs for her adhd and I'm a proud supportive husband that loves this journey we are on with our kids.
My best friend has ADHD, and really messy rooms. I’m a minimalist. He’s always saying we need to clean up (pick a room), which I can help him with. But I get frustrated when it doesn’t stay that way for more than a day. He blames his ADHD.
This video helped me understand a little what he’s going through. Thank you.
I'm autistic, but having mess defined as "motion" or "stasis" has been a lightbulb moment.
I've got adhd and i actually figured this out a few years ago. Whenever I obtain a new item, I immediately make a home for it so i know if I'm not using it goes there and if I cant find a home for it, I make one by buying some furniture that helps or coming up with a DIY solution. I have dozens of hooks, baskets and extra shelves around my house because of this and it works pretty well. It also helps me not lose things because they are always in the same place.
And for sheets of paper, I have a folder that i just shove all my sheets into immediately I get them so that I can properly sort them out later; although we all know that most of the time that never happens, I'm comfortable knowing that I cant lose the sheets because they are all in one place and usually when the folder gets full I then will spend time filing everything and deciding what's still useful and not.
I also always leave an empty space by my door and by my desk as a visual reminder of whether I'm putting stuff away or not and I just have a rule in my head that nothing should be there unless it will move within the next week.
Also for my solution to not leaving plates, cutlery and cups everywhere is to only have 1 of everything. If you only have one plate, one cup, one set of cutlery and a few pots and pans then if they're dirty and you want to use them then you have to wash them. Also, it means you can never have loads of unwashed dishes because you don't have many. If you live with other people just make it 1 set of dishes per person and if you plan to have people over you can have extra dishes but keep them in a difficult to reach place so that its harder to get those than it is to wash the dishes.
Not being a messy person is kinda my only ADHD "win" so I'm quite proud it; I'm failing at pretty much everything else but at least I can say I'm relatively clean and tidy
I love systems!
Sounds like you are disciplined about this. Impressive!
I second only using one set of dishes so nothing stays dirty. I hate having bugs in my space and washing and reusing that one set prevents a home for them. And at my house everyone's dishes are color coded and we just use our own set. Definitely great advice considering I hate doing dishes and there's disposable when you really can't be bothered to wash a dish or forget.
@@Myrrdin12 that sounds like it would work great. One question though. What do you do when people come over?
@@mintbrownieangelfish-6114 Oh we don't usually have company, but there are some plain dishes somewhere. We just only use our own set most of the time. There is a dishwasher too so if we needed to we could throw everything in and run it. And disposable dishes can also be used so we don't want to wash much.
It's great that you have created a system that works for you. Thanks for sharing your method.
As the wife of an ADHD husband, this video was very eye opening. After 35 years together, we basically came to the same conclusions concerning the different kinds of clutter. I happen to be a super organized person, but I had to give my husband space to live life his way. So we created "no clutter zones." This way, I could have my neat spaces, and he could have his places to spread his belonging out (you know what I mean.) He has been working at home since the virus hit, and this has caused some new issues, but we have found solutions for them. We compromise so that we each get to feel good about the space we live in.
I’ve was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a teenager and I’m actually starting to think that ADHD is much more accurate....I can see why that was the diagnosis as a teenager. Lots of health issues and medical trauma compounded with a bad family situation definitely just appears to be someone riddled with anxiety. But anxiety isn’t a constant. Everything I’ve learned about ADHD so far lines up with my behaviors.
I’m very hesitant to actually pursue a diagnosis though. In my experience, any kind of mental health issue (like the anxiety disorder diagnosis) is used against women with Endometriosis as just another way to write us off as crazy. It would be really nice to know that what I’m dealing with is pretty normal though, if it is in fact ADHD.
If you need help, get it. Im sure its confidential. Its better to know.
Get diagnosed. If you have adhd and treat the correct issue, you might see how much more controlled your anxiety will be. I've seen miracles happen with correct diagnosis. Your diagnosis is your business, so you shouldn't worry about stigma. But once you know, you can find so many resources. You will have answers and deeper insight into yourself. Good luck!
I'm in similar boat. Diagnosed with social anxiety & depression in my teens. After much research, I think I'm actually ADHD & on the ASD spectrum. Still waiting for an appointment for a formal assessment / diagnosis though - in my area, there's a 2 year wait list for adult assessments.
@@crazylittleangel Go ahead and make that appointment even if it's 2 years out. And meantime, maybe you can find an appointment sooner somewhere that you might have to travel to. Even if you have to wait 2 years, it's worth it. Good luck!
Same here!
Me: *sees empy space on desk*
Nobody:
Me: *stacks dishes on spot*
I t ' s f r e e r e a l e s t a t e
Yup! Lol
Ikr
Lo-tt-a you got me XD
😹😹😹😹😹😹Yup!
My house is a battlefield littered with the corpses of unfinished projects. I think it's time to practice some to-do necromancy on a few things in the name of decluttering.
I am saving this to use myself!
'My house is a battlefield littered with the corpses of unfinished projects.' Perfect description of my house. I try to tell myself not to start any new projects until I finish the ones I've already started but somehow I end up in the middle of another new project beore I realise it.
I almost cried with relief when I heard "we made a work to help you do it". If I put it to "paper" so to speak, it gets done. I don't know WHY, but that's what my brain dose. So having that will almost 100% help me.
I have severe ADHD and so does my husband, my son is going through the diagnosis stage but he's obviously adhd and my daughter is adhd/autistic.....I spent HOURS tidying yesterday...today the place is a disaster again....but our home is full of love, laughs, understanding and we try to help each other.
That clutter/overwhelm/avoid wheel doesn't spin fast enough :D
I’m rewatching this video in the middle of the overwhelm phase, and it genuinely makes me emotional to see other people share info like this without judgment. It feels so good to find my people, since I spent most of my life undiagnosed.
I hope you realize how important these videos are. This so accurately frames the ping pong chaos of the ADHD mind and background working processes.
The executive dysfunction is not a voluntary thing,and the people in our lives who insist that we’re just selectively choosing to “forget” when it’s convenient for us, or to try to get out of important tasks because we’d rather just pass the buck because our ADHD is interpreted as an excuse for someone else to do things for us is almost more debilitating and dispiriting than the disorder itself.
I became a minimalist and live in a studio apt, and not even that “cured” the clutter. I completely agree that some level of clutter is inevitable, and that’s ok. Excited to check out the worksheet.
I thought moving into a smaller place would help, and I think its actually worse.
LadyWatchingBird yeah, becoming a minimalist definitely helped, but it’s still not perfect. My friends are shocked by how little I own, but somehow everything is still a mess.
Same! I still have clutter (mostly tech and cups/snack plates), but it's manageable since I don't own a lot of stuff. I don't want to think about how bad it'd be if I owned the amount of stuff most people who live in "regular" homes own!
@@Tropicalpisces It's both worse and better. Worse because any amount of clutter is more "noticeable" since the space is so small, but better because it's technically less clutter and more manageable because you don't have so many things.
“I spent a lot of my life ashamed of how my ADHD symptoms affected me. I think it’s a lot more helpful to be proud of the steps I’m taking to manage it.” This brought me to tears.
I’ve always strived for excellence and perfection and it’s so hard to feel proud of the things that seems to just keep your head above water. Things that NT folks do without thinking. Sure, I have plenty of huge personal and professional achievements, BUT OMG CAN I GET SOME GODDAMN CREDIT FOR MAKING MY BED LIKE 4 OUT OF 7 DAYS LAST WEEK AND ONLY BEING LATE TO WORK ONCE??????? In my brain and to most NT people, these are not things to be proud of, but when the usual is 0/7 and being late most days, I should be proud!
YES!!!
You are right!
💕💕👏 Yes!
OMG, I soooooo relate to this! Thank you.
👏🏼 Credit where credit is due :) I struggle with this so much especially since both me and my fiancé have ADHD.
Thank you for this. Between burnout, adhd and depression, I’ve turned into a hoarder I think. The clutter in motion vs in stasis is so enlightening! I’ll definitely connect with your guests’ you tube and website.
This channel is by far the most helpful channel I have ever encountered on RUclips or the whole Internet for that matter on the subject of ADHD! I have learned more from you than actual doctors. I am so appreciative for you sharing your life and your experience and for how real you are. I was diagnosed with adult ADHD, I cannot tell you how long I spend and how many years I wasted feeling ashamed, dumb, useless, Not to mention suicidal. It was because of the information you provided in this channel that I realized oh dear she’s describing me. You are the reason I sought treatment, you are the reason I have no problem taking Adderall. You have changed my life. Your videos are so jampacked and easy for the ADHD 🧠 to absorb. I don’t go anywhere else for my information because I don’t need to. Many thanks and much love from a very old woman. You’ve changed my life. You might say you saved it. Don’t ever give up doing what you’re doing, we need you out here. Some of us are so alone we feel caged in our brains. Thank you for being a part of setting mine free. I can’t help but cry while typing this. 🌹🕊🥰💜✨🙏❤️🧠🌺
❤
Dr Sharon saline also has loads of helpful tips
I'm a super neat minimalist married to a hyper creative ADHD husband. Finding a happy medium is...an adventure.
I was married, Im the ADHD creative one. The best solution I found was I had a room, my art, my exercise machine, my tv, books, etc... the rest of the house stayed clean and neat except the kitchen which I had to work on.
Me: with literal tears and my boys asking what's wrong... Because I don't feel so alone or like such a failure at life! Thanks so much for speaking up and creating such helpful content, you are a true blessing!
Ive been trying to figure everything out on my own, which is tricky when staying on task seems impossible...
So, finding your channel has been a true gift! Can't wait to check out the worksheet, so grateful to your friends !
I agree! I've been feeling alone and feeling like I would have to explained myself to everyone who walks in my apartment as to what's going on and so on..
I tear up every time I watch one of her videos. I've never felt so understood in my life, and through her videos connected to so many other people like me.
😭
I feel this so much, as i watch this video while holding tears back
This is so ... right. I need a lot of inspirational clutter. The person that taught me how to clean is a minimalist. I've always felt like a failure for not being able to keep anything clean.
I love the way this video is put together. It's so important not to shame the ADHD brain, because shame will create more avoidance, and will just keep the cycle going.
I cannot say that I am clinically diagnosed with ADHD, but this relates to me sooo much. That endless cycle is something I face a lot. The overwhelm and the ignore, I just want my house tidy before the new year!
I'm actually dealing with this now! I'm trying to clean my house before I have to focus on classes. The burdens of being a teacher. 🤗
TBH, the easiest way to get rid of clutter is to just get rid of it. Papers are by far the worst as they take a bunch of time per page, but they're also often times difficult to replace. For the rest of it, if in doubt, throw it out (recycle or donate). The reality is that if you haven't used it recently, have no idea when or if you will use it, chances are that you're not going to need or use it in the future. In the rare occasion where you do, you can probably just buy another one.
That being said, I recently started using my espresso machine again after nearly a decade, so every once in a while allowing something to clutter up an area probably isn't an issue. But, it's far, far easier to just get rid of things than it is to properly deal with them.
Then it mostly becomes a battle to keep things out of the house and if you make yourself wait before buying something, it will help a ton.
Madeline Hundley Hi, fellow ADHD teacher! 😊
This is so perfect. I'm trying to clean so someone can come over
I should also do that
@@prettygay yes, we both should
Said every ADHD person ever!
maybe what you should do is reverse it and invite someone over so you are forced to clean. ;) Someone on the outside flipping the switch for you instead of you struggling to flip it yourself. :) :)
@@jordanmccullough7903 yeah, the thing is they are coming next week...and I have a pretty big room with a lot of stuff
Your channel has been so helpful for me! I don't have a diagnosis for ADHD (quite a long and expensive process) but I can relate so much to your content and the tips you provide have been helping a lot
I'm in the same boat!
Same here
finally, someone whose solution isn't "put away and get rid of everything." thank you so much
When it comes to cleaning the clutter or organizing it I've found having a folding table is great. I set up my folding table then pile it relatively full of clutter that I know doesn't belong where it was before. The first bit is awesome because now the couch or kitchen table is clear and I can tidy or clean them the rest of the way, like wiping it down or fixing the wrinkles on the couch cover. Now it looks clean so it's like instant success, but the table is still messy. But that table doesn't feel so bad because it's like this designated space to be messy. Then I go through the table and then it gets clean, and that can be a lot of work but you're working off the success of seeing the other thing clean so it's very motivating. Best $20 I spent in my life was for that table, lol.
rhetorical: where do you have room for a folding table tho?
I love this idea!!!! Thank you for sharing this! I need that instant success to motivate me. I was thinking today how satisfying it is to clean something that really looks clean. Example, a new refrigerator that looks great after being cleaned. And how unsatisfying it is to clean something that doesn't "look" as clean even after being cleaned. Example, an old window sill that is stained and the paint is chipping.
@Sam Kabamm so what?
@Sam KabammNo one asked to create a lot of beloved things in the world. But sometimes, sharing some random ideas can create happiness, or even help someone to live a better life. So as KimberLiana said: So What? No one asked you to answer either. Why did you do it though?
@@Leshantra Sam is either commenting out of the pain of its victimhood.
Or its a bot designed to generate comments. Negative comments garner more reaction.
Either way, I hope you enjoy your day.
My laundry hamper was always "away" in a discreet corner of my room... but my actual laundry was not. I moved the hamper in front of my wardrobe where I most often change clothes and where dirty laundry was naturally accumulating anyway, and my room has never felt cleaner
I think people tend to underestimate the effect convenience has on orderliness. Trash cans and hampers in key places make a huge difference.
Interesting note about trashcan placement at Disneyland, from my Uncle who worked there. The can placement was determinedly by hot dog vendors and how long it took Walt to finish eating while walking away.
yes! yes! In addition to that, I have a three bag laundry bin, so I sort it as I put it to launder. this is good because it makes "doing laundry" one less step, I don't have to wait to sort anything I just wait until a bag is full. my life is so much easier since doing this 🙌
@@abigaelrarts2257 yes i upcycled a 3 drawer shoe cupboard and it has been an amazing step to simply a task I find very overwhelming. In my old home it was next to the shower and that was ideal.
Oh my. I'm now bawling. You definitely have a new biggest fan, and just seeing someone else going through the struggle that is currently causing rifts in my family is so reassuring. I'm really trying!
I love this video especially the part about the clutter cycle. For years I’ve been ashamed about how messy my apartment is. I will definitely be taking these tips into account ❤️
When this video just came up I was literally JUST on a call with my friend ranting about my clutter in my room
WOAH I got quite a bit of likes glad to see I’m not alone 😂😂❤️
yay timing ftw :D
How to ADHD yesss hopefully I can actually get my room clean this time😂😂🤭
My office is a mess and I spent this morning shoving papers and stuff into big boxes and put it out of my sight. So helpful!!!
This should be inspiring me today of all days. I've put off arranging things for weeks and had decided to have my friend come clean Sunday.
Tony Rossel yess this is exactly how I “clean” my room
Ive always wondered why cleaning my room till it's entirely clean and organized never left me feeling happier. I guess it's because a clean big space with white walls makes me hella anxious, making clutter happen even quicker because the clean version of my room makes me feel too out of place. This was so useful!
My mom once said that another reason is because we have so much going on in our brains and disorganization that we prefer a cleaner environment because it’s something we can control. 🤷🏻♀️
Honestly.. you are the only creator who is actually helpful and posts solutions..not just the problem. ❤ thank you.. .. typing from a very cluttered room
Your channel has literally changed my life. I am 51 years old & when I stumbled across your video last fall on how to make your house ADHD friendly, I had an epiphany that I had ADHD! Without knowing it, I had survived with some coping techniques (analog clocks in every room, alarms on my phone, lists for everything), but I’ve always struggled with feeling “less than” with what I now know is executive functioning. I’ve been implementing many of your tips since last fall & want to support your Patreon channel. I know I could dig around & probably figure out how (after millions of distractions!😜)…OR just as here how to sign up! I can NOT express how much gratitude I have for your work. 🙏🙏🙏💝💝💝Please keep us posted on your book. I will definitely be buying copies for myself, family members & friends. I’m a teacher too, so if you have resources I can refer parents to for their children, that would be awesome too. Maybe that’s book #2???😁
I had an issue with junkmail cluttering up my dining room table. My ADHD coach said I should try putting a bin next to the door so when I walk into my house, the junk mail goes right into the recycling bin and never makes it to the table. Its been fantastic.
I de-junked my kitchen junk drawer the other day, and now I’m working on my living room!!! I love the 20/10 cycle of cleaning for 20 minutes and taking a 10 minute break.
I am a maximalist, borderline hoarder, and impulse buyer fixated on collecting material things that pertain to my interests.
Organized clutter is huge for me. Every countertop showing is my opportunity to decorate a theme of trinkets. Every wall has different theme of things. It is a museum of sentimental trinkets and art in collage. It makes people’s jaw drop.
Every corner is my opportunity to store things essential and or hide unpretty everyday items like deodorant and hair spray.
It could be ADHD, but my grandparents done the same thing collecting items to the point of maximalism and hoarding. I need my room to be a museum of my interests but annoyed with how much I have at the same time. If I can’t see an essential item in plain sight, I will forget it and face a consequence (like keys, toothbrush, medicine, water)
I just came across your channel not too long ago and I have to say that you make me feel so much better about my ADHD and it's overwhelming how my place can get so cluttered and I also have like PTSD from how messy my house was and the environment that I lived in as a child so having you be there to confidently tell me that it is okay and that it is normal makes me feel so reassured thank you
Does anyone else keep finding more ways to accommodate clutter-in-stasis in order to avoid making decisions about what to keep and what to throw out?
I now have shelves that I can't reach because they are behind other shelves.
I had this problem a few months ago... boxes piled over each other so I couldn't reach the lowest ones. I think watching the videos about The wall of awful might help you :)
I usually get a box, and put my random stuff in there. It's there but it's not, yk? lol
@@maddieek6865 I do this too...always my "inbox" of actual paper etc. gets bigger and bigger until I don't remember anything that's in there, nor can I find stuff....... but at least if it's in a box, it's not a huge stack of things distracting me, it's one box and I can live with that. (sort of!)
I have the same thing.
I hired a storage unit so the boxes wouldn't live at my house.
I recently "treated" myself to a professional organiser and it has been life changing. She asked me to talk through my systems, and saying them out loud made me realise how little sense most of them made.
I could just hug you! Thank you so much for making us feel more normal and for explaining things so well and how to deal with these issues. I’m working on mine.
I’m so glad you shared that! My mental and physical health have taken a toll because of the organization struggles. I needed to hear this.
I... just burst into body shaking sobs. You know how something resonates so hard, you can't respond in any other way than to just cry in relief because someone gets it? yeah. that's me right now. I've been trying to clean my apartment for 6 weeks now. and I only have 2 days to do it now, I've put it off so long, and like, everything is clutter in stasis, and I HATE IT.
When you get a little overwhelmed at your clutter and see this video title...👀 Can you see me?
I'm so lucky there are people out there making videos that will one day save me in their future.
Found this channel yesterday and hope doesn't feel so heavy today.
Thank you.
I have got to say, I LOVE your channel! It's not only helpful for me understanding my family members who have ADHD but also for understanding myself. There's a few things I personally connect with but I'm not sure there's enough that I have it myself. And considering how health insurance is something we can't really afford right now too really figure it out, this helps me cope a lot.
I have a king size bed... that I am currently sharing with: a journal, a pile of clean towels, my purse, 2 cats, couple random things from the store still in bags, and these new pants I bought... Then I stumbled onto this video..... thank you.
one friggin hundred percent my bed-situation! :D
LOL - - Since this is not a competition, I shall refrain from details, and only say, I've got you beat. And yes, thank goodness she has the courage to post videos about something so many of us silently struggle with! Maybe I can use these tips. Peace :D
I'm sharing my bed with various books and a pile of clothes lol. and a teddy bear. and a pen and a ruler.
My family has been in a huge cleaning/decluttering mood recently, and we've been making some good progress. I've found that an addition to the marie kondo method has really helped me. Figuring out if something brings you more anxiety than motivation. I enjoy being surrounded by books, but seeing a ton of unread books stresses me out. So I moved my books to somewhere I don't have to see them and only move them back into view while reading them or once I've finished them and know I love them. I find that I read a lot more now (and get rid of more). Too many options can be overwhelming.
This is a good tip! "Does this sparkle joy" is very hard to define. But anxiety can maybe be easier to recognize. I'll have to try this.
Marie kondo way creates so much clutter
I was recently diagnosed and have found this channel to be so helpful! I'm 32 and have suspected I've been this way my entire life. This channel helps me to feel normal and not alone. Thank you.
I’m literally crying from seeing this and can’t wait to print out the worksheet!! THANK YOU!
My old apartment was a mess, then I moved into a new one, but didn't quite have the space for all my stuff, so I left it in boxes "to unpack later"....
One year later, my apartment is still a obstacle course.
Me toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@@recovered4life Just moved again ... we shall see how the obstacle course situation changes.
I have high hopes for the future, for now.
:D
It’s probably a bit late for this, but if you haven’t used something in a year, chances are VERY good that you don’t need it anymore. I’d consider going through the box with a friend and just keep reminding yourself “I haven’t used this in a whole year, do I really need it?” while you add to a donate/toss pile.
I try to declutter rooms every morning as a quick routine as I wait to wake up fully. Not a morning person!
It gives me a quick feeling of accomplishment and just takes a few minutes if done daily.
Just start with one room, declutter it and master doing a quick pickup/put away first thing every morning, then after a week, move onto adding another room the same way.
It does make life easier to put stuff away! No more wasting time looking for needed items. And it is much faster to dust and vacuum.
That's great advice! I just recently found videos done by Dana K. White and the book she wrote: Decluttering At The Speed of Life. I am finally making serious progress with Decluttering my home! 🥰🤗
Are you actually adhd? Because mansplaining by the neurotypical is not a nice thing to do.
I was shamed and abused so deeply for "being messy" that I spiralled into very deep depression. I was even told I couldn't have a relationship because I am messy. The depression made it worse. I am now moving towards minimalism.
Sometimes I "joke" to judgmental people that a lot of serial killers are extremely tidy and they would love them as their neighbours because they prefer tidiness over nice people that care about you. And that they would be those surprised neighbours on TV saying, "We didn't notice anything, he was so quiet and neat..."
Now that I know that I have inattentive ADHD I know my mess is not a character trait. It's a symptomatic habit that formed and that can be undone. It means everything to me to know that.
This is the first of your videos that made me cry. Thank you! I enjoy learning from your channel and wanted a short video to watch and relax before going and tackling the clutter/stuff that's been taking out of the guest room and is now on it's way to a storage room but I want it to be intentional... IDK how your videos are exactly what I need but I'm so beyond grateful for this one. if I could, I'd post a pic of my living room (it's a mess but I see the progress)... I need a workable space set up and I found the best way to set it up is to just start working and see where it makes sense for things to fall.
I love this so much. I'm actually crying because I haven't heard someone else explain what this feels like. I hold so much shame about myself and 'the way that I am', I feel so defeated. I am so appreciative of you sharing your experiences with us and providing this kind of help.
I feel like this video was made just for me! I think I have felt that about many of your videos. Thank you for doing what you do, I have so much love and respect for you.
It's nice to find out we're not alone. I just found out, too. Hugs.
Yes about the shame! Finding this channel has really lifted the emotional burden I carried about this.. ("what's wrong with me? why can't I manage to do this simple thing?"). It's also really reassuring to discover it's not just me.
(Now I have to take the next step of official diagnosis and, hopefully, some medication support.)
The shame that NTs pile on us is not, and should not be ours to carry. We are different, and they can't handle the truth of the difference. So instead of just accepting what is, they think shaming us is going to allow them to stay in their sense of neurotypical self-righteousness. Sorry, Neurotypical Charlie, but this "Katfish" is calling you out on your out-of-tuna thinking. (Yeah, my sense of humor is weird, too. 😜)
ADHD diagnosed for 26 years now and my friends and family have been threatening to call the show hoarders on me... This video is extremely helpful. I’m realizing that I’m not crazy for having tons of my stuff randomly stacked up, but that I just need get some help sorting or getting rid of things.
THANK YOU!!!
You let your friends and family inside your house?!? (JK, from another ADHD long-timer)
Im realizing I must have it too. For years Ive wondered''Whats wrong with me''
Oh my word…I honestly love you and appreciate the work you do, Jessica! Thanks for this… I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in Anxiety disorders (and healing my own anxiety) but have recently wondered if I have ADD or ADHD and in trying to sort that out, found you! Thanks again for sharing your story so bravely and for educating and inspiring others! Keep up the good work!
I have been binge watching (thanks to RUclips) your videos, now that I have found you. I am 60 years old and have been dealing with this my whole life. Usually I don't like watching young people do videos because of the "young people lingo" and the sense of entitlement I see. You're different. You are down to earth, common sense and you admit that you have faults. You're So Awesome!
So glad it’s not another “well tidy up then” “life hack”
That said, I’m not even at home, I’ve been at work for 5 days...
Awww I feel you!! Stay strong!! Hope you get a chance to unwind soon!
Thanks
It’s railway life, I’ll get to spend a (comparably) reasonable amount of time at home from September for the following 4 months
Also working with the dr to find prescriptions that help too
I hear you. I hate it when they say just throw it out, or label some wicker baskets, like thats gonna help.
I'm planning on cleaning out my room, especially under my bed (my bed has space under it), over the summer so I have a good place for school work next year, so thank you!!!
Thank you! I just found this channel and I’m so happy. I am 57 years old with ADD and most of my life I have felt defective because of it. I think I’ve found my people!
Don’t have ADHD…that I know of, but I do have crippling anxiety which honestly has a lot of the same triggers and feelings that you explained in your vid. This helps so much, especially when I was able to have my husband watch it! He has OCD/ADD, I have anxiety, we’re quite the pair. But we love each other endlessly and cleaning up our house is really important to both of us. Being able to share this video with him empowered us both, I feel so much less guilty now that we’ve both watched it, gone through the list attached, and started our clean up. I still look around and feel shame but it is definitely getting better and it is definitely easier to keep working together without the guilt or frustration now that we have a clear plan to work with and the knowledge of how we got here. I am definitely getting excited to host around the holidays and I can say that 100% of the help has come from your video! Thank you so very much!
I got in an argument with my parents about my messy room this week so this is more helpful than you know...thank you.
This channel is becoming important to my sanity. Alot of times I feel like im having a mental breakdown. Its nice to something that alleviates that pressure.
I began watching your channel as a means of understanding my son's recent diagnosis, but along the way I've identified with so much in your videos that I'm beginning to wonder whether perhaps I've just never seen these traits in myself or been diagnosed.
Thanks for your great delivery of well prepared content, which makes it easy to understand. You simply shine! 💖
This channel makes me feel seen and heard. I just want to cry sometimes because im so happy
Whoa, "Some tools might be unavailable due to heavy traffic in this file." It may be helpful to post a PDF version. Also, everyone saying they were just thinking about this just goes to show how common and nagging this challenge is.
I was just almost crying over the huge clutter piles all around my room that I have procrastinated over for months now and then I got notification off this. I got relief. I have lots of stasis clutter around the shelves and on floor, I have got my worktable cleared from it. It is slow progress but progress non the least. I got finally my ADHD-C dg this April and coming around it has been a huge pressure from my shoulders. Now my parents also know and after hige burstout they even understand me, especially my ADHD like mom. I have been your huge fan for 1,5 years now and it feels like coming home to get called your Brains. Thank you, your videos have helped me so much, they are short, easy to follow, interesting, relatable and offer actually working tips. And your voice makes me smile always. I am 21 old woman and only now am I learning most about myself aside being lesbian. Thank you ❤️🙌
Congrats on the diagnosis and revelations!
The only clean clothes my husband and I have clean right now are socks. He's a slob and doesn't care if he re wears dirty clothes and I have ADHD so I always end up doing a small load of laundry right before work. Uhh so anyway my story is I have piles of dirty laundry
OMG! I have tears of joy because of how much this video has helped me. I am a mom that is cleaning clutter 24/7.
My daughter has adhd and, thanks to you, I now have a way to learn how to work with it and show my 7yo how to live with it. Your videos are a blessing! I've even send a couple to her teacher so he can understand her better and her grades have improved because we now understand how to help her study. THANK YOU! You are a prayer answered.
This video is so comforting. I always look at my house and think “what is wrong with me” and “not good enough”. I’m so over it
This has been one of my biggest issues since the start of quarantine in March. I recently realized it feels even worse becoming don’t really have any decor around my apartment aside from just the clutter from trying to keep sane between shifts at the nursing home.
Thank you SO MUCH! I am devouring your content. I'm 36 and just got tested for ADHD last week. Whether or not I get that diagnosis, your videos have me reacting with so many "that's me!"s and feeling hopeful that I can manage better in the future with help like this. :D
I'm so glad I found this channel. I don't feel alone or wrong anymore
I have lived 53 years with ADHD. It was not diagnosed until I was 40. For a while just having the diagnosis made things easier to deal with. But now, 13 years on, I still really, really, struggle with the clutter problem. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for making this channel, i used to feel so ashamed of myself for not being able to get work done like my friends and classmates do, turn in assignment that i actually finished on time and i really appreciate the effort you put into each video you make. My parents dont buy me meds anymore and it's been so hard for me to adjust even tho they stopped buying it over a year ago. I love your channel so much and I love you so much. I hope you continue to grow here on RUclips and get the recognition you deserve
Oh my good lord, why aren't they getting you your meds anymore?? D: Is there any way you can get them on your own?
this is so validating, i know that my room looks like this because of adhd but it feels even worse than other adhd people i know, it's comforting to know other people struggle with homes that look like a bomb site
This was so helpful thank you so much! I’ve been figuring out bits and pieces of this by trial and error over a long time and living with multiple other folks who also have adhd, but it’s so helpful to be reassured that I was moving in a good direction, and to get other ideas and have so many helpful thoughts in one place! 🎉🎉🎉 can’t wait to try the worksheet! Thanks so much for asking them for that!
Thanks, this one is really spot on for me. I get overwhelmed with my clutter and try to ignore it. Then, sometimes I feel bad that I never have people over (besides my son and my brother). When my boyfriend has his adult daughters over (once in a while), I feel like I need to go through everything any really clean the apartment. I end up doing the best I can. Sometimes, I go through a pile or 2 of paper and other stuff. By that time, most of it ends up being trash.
Thanks for normalizing it for us Brains.
This is SO HELPFUL. My girlfriend is so fond of minimalism and a "control freak", I love how clean her house is, even with a cat , but I have ADHD. After moving together we are in an endless conversation of how important it is to put my stuff where it belongs (like I actually know where it belong, when did I even misplaced it and what the heck did I misplaced). It's not even arguments, it's just conversations, because she is trying her best to be patient to me and she is wonderful. But still, MY STUFF IS EVERYWHERE, I'm mentally stressed of my clutters and facing my gf, so I'm trying to avoid both. And obviously both didn't help :P anyway I need to deal with the pile on my desk... now
She probably found the joy in it, you can too! I recommend watching videos to get inspired, the fun part doesn't happen until later when you feel like you got the hang of it. I thought I could never do it but there's tons of videos online and I got some help for free.
Thank you. Still overwhelmed with gratitude every time I watch your videos. Great works here.
Jessica! YOu are the one I started looking into neurodivergency. Thank you so much. I'm really into the healing journey now. I am not 100% sure if I am neurodivergent, but I'm sure I am struggling, and so I think it's okay to look into neurodivergency and learn. I do think being in a community I feel safe in, is never wrong.
So, again, thank you, for being the starter for my healing journey to a better life. Take care!
I love my clutter to a certain point. Clean it and in months it full of clutter again untill i see it and clean it and it al starts al over again. I just accepted it. Its me