If I've Forgiven, Why Do I Still Get Triggered?
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- Опубликовано: 1 фев 2024
- In this video, I'm going to answer the question that's been haunting you once and for all.....'have I truly forgiven?' and if so "why do I still get triggered.....
and help you overcome the biggest forgiveness myth holding back Christians today.
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Just remember. Forgiveness does not remove consequences.
God’s forgiveness keeps you from the consequences of your actions (sin)!
The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life.
@@brianmerkel704 No it doesn't. You reap what you sow. That's a very precise consequence scripture. In Isaiah 43:25 God says:
“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more".
The key words are for "MY OWN SAKE", not for "YOUR SAKE" as the sinner or abuser. Then when you read verse 28 which follows after verse 25-27, God delivers three consequences AFTER He has already forgiven them. So God forgives for HIS sake, not for your sake and then He still delivers the consequences.
Christ died on the cross as an act of Atonement for our sins and to bring us back into a relationship with God. But, God still allows evil to exist and that is our ongoing punishment here in the world. Look around you if you are ever in doubt.
I love how she admited that you may never feel fuzy about the person. I think some of us christians rush so hard and fast to get a person to forgive that you invalidate the pain of the victim.
Not only does the victim feel invalidated, but the smug faced toxic person feels all puffed up & victorious!! It is the craziest thing as you see it unfold before your very eyes!! These “people” are notorious for NEVER EVER taking blame, owning up to what they do, NO responsibility OR accountability Of ANY kind. DO NOT EVER think you will be acknowledged as one who was treate horribly.....it will NEVER EVER happen....Best advice.. get out or away as fast as possible, hopefully w/ minimal damage to your soul. Realizing THAT is what they are TRULY after should make your decision EASY> THAT is what these demons want,amongst other things, believe me please!!! They are demonic (I am not being dramatic) Read the Bible to see for yourself . SO!!! Get away & Stay away!! God will help you discern it all and you will be FREE!!😊 Free from a monster planning to destroy you in small ways OR very BIG ways (usually) Example: 50+ yrs ago I met my “future mother in law” I was a VERY naive 18 yr old who was taught everyone was good/ nice. Right away something was “OFF”. She started to hyper ventilate and just was as cold as ice. Later my fiancé said,”Oh, she doesn’t like anybody.” I asked why and he said, “it is because she can tell you are happy.” And let me tell you she was (literally) HELLBENT that HAD TO END!!! Short story, she nearly destroyed me. I am so thankful to God I am here to warn others of the demonic toxicity of these agents of Satan. God Bless & keep us safe😮❤
Yes so well said
💯
Yep. Christians need to remember they're not psychologists.🙏
Just like when a wife cheats. You may stay with her but you can never love her again.
"Come to me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest." I have found that when I cannot bear the memories etc, when I feel them, I ask the LORD to take them from me, and then I feel much better, and the "emotional spin" almost disappears. GOD bless.
Thank you. This is helpful.
You hit the nail on the head. I confided to a "Christian" that I had been sexually molested as a child many years ago. Her first response "Have you forgiven him?" I felt like the bad guy.
So sorry.
ughh! I would've felt the same way.
🤦🏻♀️
Hello Mary,how are you?
Ugh. I constantly am asked that when I’ve been so faithful to do so
Thanks. I'm always encouraged by your teaching. I am grateful for the gift you give to the Body of Christ.
Amen Amen & Amen-!!!
🙏🙏🙏
Thank you. I'm so blessed to hear that.
Thank you so much for this video, Kris! I have sometimes wondered if I've really forgiven certain people (especially my mother). I had to break contact and all ties with her 4 years ago, and some people have tried to say I am harboring unforgiveness. I don't see it that way, though. I do forgive her, which for me means accepting that she is who/what she is. But that acceptance doesn't include being around her, interacting with her, and allowing her access to me in order to keep hurting and abusing me. I have let her go, and I wish her no ill will. I pray that she would come to know Jesus, and that He would work a transformation in her heart. He is the only one who can change her.
A person who hasn't forgiven - would NEVER be able to write what you just wrote. You've forgiven her.
Oh my, this is precisely what I did several decades ago - I forgave my mother, realizing and accepting who and what (narcissist) she knowingly and willingly freely chooses to be and act upon, but severing all ties in order to no longer be used, abused in many forms, nor exposed to darkness in its many forms.
I refused to renounce my believe in Jesus Christ and Christianity as I was told/demanded of.
I have been set free, and I will not return to vomit as it says in scripture.
She has been, and is prayed for, that she would repent, and come to a saving knowledge of Christ Jesus.
I do not have enough fingers for the amount of times I have been told that I have not forgiven her.
If we walk into a cave to sleep, and we are burned by a dragon’s fire, we can forgive the dragon, but do we continue to walk into his territory and be burned by him again, because that is his nature? 🐲🐉🔥
@GodsSparrowSpeaks Thank you for those wise words. I'm currently struggling to let a couple of close friends go after 20+ years. I'm asking God if i'm being too hard on them or is it time to move on? When do you know if it's time to close a friendship off? It seems like i've been mistreated by a few people in my life and it doesn't feel good to put effort into them anymore. I don't wish them harm. I just feel that they aren't fully invested in the relationship and i've explained my side of it before. The situation hasn't improved and i'm tired of initiating get togethers where we don't actually meet. Has anyone out there been through this scenario? I'm 59 and it would be much nicer if others put effort into a friendship with me as i do with them. How do i change this in my life? My thoughts are that the Lord wants me to be a faithful person, seeking God's advice through prayer. I am awaiting an answer as to what my next move should be.
Any suggestions would be kindly appreciated. This situation has been troubling me and i need to make a decision. Thank you all.
God bless you. 🙏 🙇♀️✝️
@@tanastoiberg7981 Let me pray and think about this.
I could easily state my opinion from experience (about your age) but always best to pray first then tell someone something that might be my flesh, or right for me but not others.
I’d have to say this: without being prideful, treat yourself - your heart, mind and spirit, as Jesus would, because you are His precious daughter, His cherished creation. Therefore cherish and value all you are.
Ask yourself how Jesus responded in scripture to those not interested in His message of Salvation.
He wasn’t bitter nor angry with those uninterested, He told the Parable of the Sower as the example. Perhaps re-read that section with yourself in mind as that precious seed.
The only people Jesus became angry with and rebuked were:
•the religious (versus relational) zealots/bigots, prideful
•the unbelieving
I’ll try to recall other scripture and come back and add them later.
Know also that this who grew up in either abusive, emotionally abusive, or emotionally neglected “families”, tend to attract narcissistic spouses, dating partners, coworkers, and friends..
Unfortunately, religious legalistic professing followers of Christ worsen the situation with their opinions and heavy burdens as well as judgementalism, control, and false teachings in the area of how to handle various levels of abusive behavior from others.
Remember, scripture states that “We need not that anyone teach us, but the Holy Spirit will teach us all things.”
And to seek *wise counsel. Those who are truly wise fear/respect God and His Word, and know they themselves are flawed human beings, the wise are completely surrendered to the authority of the Holy Spirit in their lives, and live in humility and therefore true biblical love of God, are wise in counsel.
Scripture says to pray for those who spitefully use you. It does not say to continue allowing them to spitefully use you, nor hanging out with them repeatedly.
Scripture states that we must be wise, all through Psalms, Proverbs, NT etc. we are cautioned in our choices of who we spend time with.
Jesus said that we should pray for enemies, love our enemies, and true love is wanting them to come to saving knowledge of Christ.
Jesus never said to hang out with them.
Jesus said if someone wants something from you, basically taking something that is yours, that we are to also give them a cloak; effectively giving them more than they are demanding. But Jesus did not say to give them everything you were wearing, and leave naked, did He?
Jesus said to turn the other cheek, if you think about it, if we turn the other cheek, we are walking away.
So often we do not search the Scriptures for ourselves and just listen to someone else spoon-feeding us like infants, teaching us things that have been taught “traditionally” for decades that may or may not be correct if we go to the original culture of the time, who Jesus was speaking to, and the intent of the message, what were to learn.
Remember; Jesus says to be a wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. In other words, we must know the enemy, and how the enemy works through humans, yet be gentle in our speech and behavior so that we are not sinning.
Sorry, this is so long, but there’s nothing worse than being in an abusive relationship, and emotionally abusive relationships are absolutely horrific and very damaging to the body, mind and soul.
God bless you 🙏🏼📖🕊💐💝
p.s. remember, when Jesus sent out the disciples, that if they were not received, if the peace of the message of the salvation through Jesus Christ was not received in a home, if Jesus‘s disciples were not received, Jesus said to wipe the dust from your feet.
I suggest looking up a few videos on narcissism on RUclips. I like Dr. Ramani, she was married to a narcissist. A Christian psychologist, Dr. Kris Reese is also very good and concise also.
I, too, broke contact with my mother . It's been six years. It hurts sometimes, but not as bad as if I still spoke with her I wrote her a letter, recently, telling her how thankful I was for her, and the things she did do, like leading me to Jesus, at 9 yrs old. And for being there during my difficult childhood- I would not have survived my dad, without her. But, then I told her that bc the relationship has to be on her terms, only, I wasn't interested in continuing in that hurtful pattern. I forgive her, and love her, but no longer wish for anything different. I gave her up to God, too, and forgave her, but recognized I cannot change her. Not Taking family for granted is the lesson I've learned- Treat others like you'd like to be treated. Forgiveness was the gift I gave myself, and I have peace about this, now.
This has been the best statement that I have ever heard about forgiveness. I heard two other people state this as well … that they believe forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling . One of these people lost her daughter to violence, and the other was killed himself, and had a near death experience) . and for me, it has been the biggest remedy because, like she said, forgiving, someone can be hard work. One of my biggest prayers is, Lord help us all to forgive.!!!
Will never volunteer myself again. Signed Born to be used.
Firgiveness in existence or not, trust will never come.
Thank you Kris, your "bookmark" analogy is excellent. I have many bookmarks and every time I see or I am reminded of them, I thank God that I was delivered from that chapter of my life. And that I past the test and became a better man of God. None of the names attached to those bookmarks harbor ill feelings towards them, but rather I say a little prayer for that person. 🙏🙏🙏♥
happy for you keep up the good work. glory to God.
Thank you for sharing :)
I am living this nightmare right now.
I read or heard recently something like, “if thinking of the person who hurt you causes you to feel pain, then you haven’t really forgiven them”. I was like, “huh????”
I have been praying lately “Lord, I choose to forgive, and I plead Your blood over my FEELINGS about him”.
🤷🏻♀️I dunno
What else I can do about how I feel.
I do the same thing. I pray the same as you. I've noticed that I'm not as bothered when all is well with me. The enemy knows and will cause you to remember when you're low, noticed that too. I've started rebuking those demons in the name of Jesus and verbally casting down those thoughts and imaginations. New at it but it's helping for sure. God bless you 🙏. N.Z.
Thank you! I needed to hear this. For the longest time i couldn't answer the question, "have you forgiven him already?" I always say i don't know, i'm not sure. Because i'm still hurt, it still makes me angry. So thank you for this video.
Thanks for watching
The biggest struggle I’m having about forgiveness is having to wake up daily and deal with the permanent physical & mental damage done to my body by parents, ex-wife, brothers & others who were supposed to love you, protect you, care for you etc. Plus having to get up every day and live in a evil world that I want nothing to do with. Without Jesus Christ in my life & my daily Bible study I would be even more mentally screwed.
Thank you, Kris, for debunking those Internet answers on forgiveness. They were making me think that I was the problem.
will love and listen❣️❣️.. i keep getting triggered because people still be abusive and my heart is sooo sore.. yes very inadvertently pulling back.. i must have lots of unresolved trauma.. i will listen now🎉💃🏻🎉💃🏻🎉💃🏻.. how to resolve the trauma but still maintain healthy boundaries though, right.. new bullying instances does bring all that pain back up so i just calmly cut all ties and move away.. i am loving this so far!! i will listen☺️☺️☺️
I had this supernatural moment of detachment and peace towards people in my llfe that took pleasure in hurting and neglecting me and, then that dreadful negative feeling came back. Then I realized I HAVE forgiven, its just that by God given nature, my body mind and spirit were rejecting those same people still because they have not made a change and only fake their kindness! It all made sense and this video truly felt like a gentle and compassionate confirmation. So many people blame those who have been hurt for “lack of forgiveness” because we dont trust the person who hurt us anymore and thats just wrong. I am responsible for my self and will not ignored my self defense responses towards people who simply do not wish to appreciate/respect me! Thank you for this wonderful message! ❤🙏🏼
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤xxExactly xx They don’t take responsibility for the pain they caused so we protect ourself..people may judge all they like but just because they are family does not give them free rein to b toxic and continue the pain.
Forgiveness is not to be extended to those who are not repentant. It is also not for ourselves. Forgiveness is for reconciling a relationship and that can only happen when one party is sorry and the other forgive them, two sides of the same coin. Forgiveness pretended when someone is not sorry goes nowhere and does nothing, it is pretend. We are not bitter just because someone will not be sorry or desire to be forgiven. God tells us to treat people as unbelievers when they refuse to repent. We are not to remain friends with people who don't think they were wrong in their offenses.
I do not agree..Forgiveness is stop feeding the evil spirits that are their source..Forgiveness in spiritual realm starves the evil spirit..not forgiving rewards them because division in spirit keeps us separated from our Heavenly Father..
@@MalikaIC Forgiveness is to reconcile a relationship not for our own feelings. A relationship is not reconciled when one party says they forgive but the other is not sorry.
@@gwendolynwehage6336wow, both of you do.make a point. If some one is not changin but insisted on being nasty n mean spirited then its only wise to keep our distance.
BUT we must still show love sometimes bcos only ❤ can change a person. BUT do all things in wisdom bcos our kindness will be taken advantages of knowin too well...😊
@@sereneanna4040 Luke 6:27=29 "27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.…
Berean Standard Bible · Download"
We never do to others the mean things they do to us and when they cross our paths we act kind and treat them with the respec they never showed us but this is not forgiven. Confession and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin and when both happen then a relationship is lovingly restored. The proof of the confession being real is that the mean actions do not happen again.
@@MalikaIC if we don't want God's forgiveness... He doesn't give it to us.
If someone does not want our forgiveness... We are not obligated to give it to them.
LOVE THIS!!
I don't see why I should forgive my evil narc mother. I don't need to do that...she is an empty shell. I can move on without doing that.
I forgave in degrees...and truly some big hurts and early abuse have been fully let go of. Im aware that the scars are still there and tender to the touch so i dont put my self at risk. More recent wounds are forgiven but the "bookmarks" are there and can be triggered. I have recently gone back to my faith. Psalm 91 is my daily strenght. Prayer and meditation are my nourishment. I now feel worthy of God so even though i am triggered by callous actions of some disturbed charachters i know i can retreat to a "safe zone" where i know im loved more than i ever imagine. The Lord is my sheppard is my to go mantra. Thank you kris
Hello ,how are you doing?
Excellent video Kris .. Thank you so much, you and your team are incredibly helpful. Yes Ma'am forgiveness is sooo NOT a feeling!! It's a decision we make about how we are going to treat that person (s) ... we are to set our minds and KEEP them set, on how God thinks. Remember people that forgiveness is NOT trust, .. trust must be earned. You absolutely can love someone and forgive them AND have nothing to do with them! It's definitely okay to not like them! & not trust them! Learn to say NO to them, love them and make a choice to not be in their company. It's like you're saying, ... I love you, I truly want the best for you, just stay AWAY from me!!
I couldn't have said it better! 🎯
Hello Julie,how are you doing?
Well said Julie....set our minds and keep them set on God!
Thank you for making it clear that forgiveness is choosing that person should not remain in your life. You can still want the best for them, but their presence doesn't feel positive anymore. I'm facing this issue with two friends that i distrust now. Too different scenarios caused me to see their character and i feel betrayed by them. I've prayed to God for the right path to take, and it feels like it isn't positive to remain friends with them. Can a broken friendship be rebuilt? What do i do? They have been my friends for over 20 years, so my heart has invested much energy into both of these individuals. It's a difficult and heart-wrenching decision to make. So many changes with others that i have had to choose to walk away and it hurts to do so.
Forgiveness is no cheap grace.
We need to learn about how to treat forgiveness.
You are terrific! Thank you. A breath of fresh air!
TY Kris, my husband and I left a fellowship after being abused and lied about. Initially we tried to resolve the issues with them but it only made things much worse. We were ostracized and talked about so we finally left. We received texts (never a phone call) about not walking in love. Looking back we saw all the red flags but we overlooked them. Occasionally we see one of the people who perpetrated things, we are cordial but just keep moving along. There was no willingness to retract their lies or even acknowledge them, so how could we reconcile? I do pray for them and the church, things like that have a way of catching up with people eventually and it's really not something I relish
I'm so sorry to hear of what you went through. I trust that our Lord will continue to bring healing to you and your husband.
Thank you so much for this video. There have been times when someone got on my rock so bad and so angry but even so I forgive that person. But the next day I'm still really agnortised and annoyed that when I prayed I ask God "if I have forgiven him then why am I still annoyed?" I thought those negative feelings go away once you've forgiven that perpetrator. But you explained those feelings can hang after you have forgiven.❤
❤❤I have forgiven but that does not mean they are less than what they are and we’re all our marriage yrs! He cheated all those yrs and I took it! Shame on me for letting my children think it was okay! I wish nothing but good for all who hurt me but at the same time until they change it’s them and God and not me them and God! I wonder why we beat ourselves up so badly for what others do! My bookmark is: Vengeance is mine says the Lord and I will repay! He repays in so many ways! It’s not our deal though! ❤❤
Thank you. This was helpful. I am having trouble forgetting my past love. I know things could not in any way be like it was but I still find it somewhat difficult to forget my past love. I am a Christian and to add to that a minister, yet I am struggling with this. My present marriage is not in any way like the word of God says it should be. I’m praying daily, sometimes many times daily, but so far there’s been no change, none at all. My heart is hurting but I keep praying and believing that God has my back. Please pray with me about this. Thanks and may God bless.
There can be no true forgiveness without true repentance....so once again the narcissist holds us hostage by denying us closure. I took it to the Lord having tried to forgive her even before she left .I couldn't bear eternity in heaven under those conditions .....and he took me in a dream and I saw the book of life , where i saw a hand erase a name....and after 22 years , I felt closure.
❤exactly❤ if only they would apologize for their pain they gave us or at the very least acknowledge our feelings as valid
Karma will give you all the closure you need. Knowing spirit and actually experiencing the divine magic is amazing. If you’re lucky spirit will give you have a front row seat. Know that anyone who’s crossed you will get exactly what they’ve coming.
Perfectly said.
Kriss this is really good stuff! This makes total logical sense. You always get very good solid advice and I think you're a very wise woman
Had this very conversation with God the other day, nice to hear the answer
Amen!🙏🏻
They used to say "forgive and forget" (in the 80ies). As if those 2 went together in lockstep. And if you couldn't forget, then you were taxed as a bitter, resentful sinner. Like if your dad raped you when you were a kid, you should forgive and forget. There are less extreme examples of course. The fact is that the occurrence still remains and always will. You can't take it away that it did happen. And forgiving is futile, unless the perpetrator comes up to you and asks for forgiveness showing real regrets.
If no one asks for forgiveness, then there's nothing to forgive. As long as the guilty party doesn't own up to his/her harmful behaviour, you can't forgive someone who's not sorry, or just sorry sort of with no real change in attitude. The only person you can forgive is yourself if you feel it was your fault, because it wasn't your fault.
This really encouraged me
This is brilliant! Legalism at it's best (aka worst) is "forgive & forget"...where is that biblical reference again? You would be an idiot to forget (I'm referring to abuse in particular)! God chooses to forget in Isaiah because HE IS GOD! We are not! This video is spot on, Kris! I love that you always refer to putting our faith & trust in God & not man! When people tell us to forgive & move on they are putting pressure on that person. Right here is the core issue - victimize the victim just a little bit more... hmm...sounds like the work of the enemy doesn't it! It would keep you bound to works rather than trusting in God! This video is SO timely & I'm learning SO much! Thank you God for setting me FREE🙌🏻🙏🏻
I believe forgiveness of those who have harmed us is one of the hardest chains to unlock in the flesh. Through Christ anything is possible, but that does not make it easy.
Thank you Kris !
You make me smile
This is very helpful. Thank you so much!
I was once told that half of the congregation is there for the right reason and half are there to test us. If you look at it that way it helps not to be stumbled because those testers will have a worse judgment. Psalm 120:1-4 is good comfortong scripture. Also the testers can help us to be closer to God.
Forgiveness is often just walking away and staying away. We must not confuse forgiveness with reconciliation or a restoration of a pasr relationship. The memories of pain and wrongs cannot be erased. Separation and detachment are sometimes all we can manage. Forgiveness is also personal. God knows our hearts. Be at peace with your decisions and don't let others bully you or make you feel guilty.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you!!
Thank you for this!
Love this p🙏💥
This is SO GOD! Thank you!
Thank you so much dear Sister
This message has given me strength , thank you.
Very good thank you ❤Kris
you have answered a prayer Kris! thanks!
Thank you Minister Reece God Bless you ♥️🙏🏾😇
Thank you Kris for remembering me in my trials . In fact I have found something new and fresh, I can't wait to get there. i🌸.
Very helpful teaching 👏
Love the book/bookmark analogy, Kris! Very helpful. Thanks very much!
You have so much knowledge. Thank You for helping us understand what "forgiveness" is and isn't. Thank You Kris!! 🙏🙏
Thank you. Right on time. God is teaching me inner healing and this is explained simply yet it’s so helpful. I’ve pushed things to the side for too long.
I always look forward to your posts and the messages that you share about narcissism, particularly because you are one of the very few individuals that provides spiritual light in this space. Thank you, Kris 🌹
I would never turn to man for "counseling." That's what God is for.
So true🎉❤🧘🏿♀️😇
I've been asking the Lord, why am I such a reactionary, why do I get triggered? Thank you for this. You're a blessing 🌹
My wife disappeared from my life one morning, she said she was going to get her hair done and never came home. That will stay with you for a long time, probably until you die.
Another shocker for me was being slandered in front of thirty people for almost nothing. I made a woman laugh at an AA meeting. They turned our little pleasure into an evil deed projecting their evil minds on to me. That happened a year ago, they stole my humor and slandered my name. I left them behind and I'm getting my humor back.
Things like that you can forgive them for your own sake, but the memory will hardly go away.
You can trust God ❤
🖖Live long and prosper
The truth is they never will tell the truth so you have unresolved issues. You have to give it to God then you're set free!
❤❤❤ and beautiful new cover photo. Keep helping others heal.
God
I usually really like her advice and this is worthwhile. I have created healing on my own with offering to resolve issues with others. They were not willing. If they kept "secrets" that is not issue. But resolving issues and addressing them with respect has always been my priority. A false story and trying to prove it "wrong" or "resolve" it---without even addressing their role? I guess then I'm still the one who's being asked to do the work for them.
Hi from South Africa 🇿🇦
Great advise like always
In 2017 God showed me Matt 5v44 and the process
Love your enemies, pray for them and bless them.
This was a game changer for me, forgiveness was ok but I kept getting triggered BUT when the Lord said now bless them I truly began dealing with the hurt, but Lord I said, and He said bless them, and the journey began going back to my youth. It was amazing and delivering. I literally become a better person, my children can testify. I highly recommend people bow before Jesus and ask Him to help them bless.
my wife cheated a year ago . I still thinking about how to do
I've done a year's counseling with a christian counselor. Many.
I've had interhealing and deliverance. EMDR
I don't know it never really heals completely or enough so I could be married
My husband says I need to forgive my mom but it’s so hard when she keeps doing the same thing. But I feel it is me too, like I can say I forgive her but do I really? The day I forgive her is the day I feel I can completely and whole heartedly forgive her and move on with no strings attached. Another question how do you forgive someone that made a horrible lie that almost ruined your life? Like a for real question, I’m having a hard time trying to figure out how to forgive cause it’s wasn’t all the person fault, she is brainwashed that I feel their is no coming back for her.
Forgiveness is accepting a choice but not accepting a behavior. For example my wife cheats on me I accept the choice but I still can file for divorce though. Another example is a friend steals money from me I accept the choice but we are no longer friends. When you accept a choice when you quit trying to figure out why they do it. Not figuring it out allows you to heal from the hurt. It's hard but God can get you through it. You never have to accept people behavior at all. There is not a scripture in the Bible which allows someone to mistreat you.
@@dennismagee9555 thank you, I really appreciate hearing those words. It really help put things in perspective and will really help.
@@brandi2746 YOU welcome God will judge how you treat people not tolerate people God is not going to punish you because you don't allow mistreatment.
@@brandi2746 This will help you out too. When you tolerate you helping people disobey the Bible. For example I'd I let my wife cheat on me I letting her disobey the Bible. So you mean to tell me God is going to punish me because I don't allow my wife to disobey the Bible and cheat on me!! Really?!!!!
@@dennismagee9555 very good comment.
You are so right, Kris. All those statements you cited from the internet are like expecting us to function like robots. Absolutely insane and ridiculous. We are God's creation, there's so much complexity and dynamics going on in our minds, you can't just switch all of that off like a light switch. Absolutely insulting.
Thank you, very helpful as always. I love your videos, you get to the point & address my inner questions & pushback. I’m Jewish so no offense, I don’t align with the Jesus comments, doesn’t matter, respect that’s your religion, and I do appreciate the reminders to have faith in g-d & pray. bottom line, you have a clear concise message & really understand narcissism.
Question, let’s say I forgive an incident and then the person does something else…I forgave my SIL, accepted her apology, then she proceeded to act like I don’t exist at family gatherings, etc (zero eye contact, didn’t say hello (I would say hello)) and husband’s parents (SIL’s parents), keep coming to me for me to move on.
I now don’t trust her based of all her actions over last few yrs and struggle knowing if feelings or actions I have & do are co-dependent, people pleasing or just ‘normal’.
Thank you for watching and sharing :)
Nice one m8
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I have grey rocked several narcissists from my life. What would foregiving change? I am not looking for revenge, what more is needed and why?
Depends on the truama or guilt of doing something you shouldnt have that is the hardest skill to master
??? Kris: Firstly, thank you for doing this video! I am now the sole caregiver of my 95 y/o mother, now with dementia & a lifetime of narcissism. I went no contact with her AND my sister for two years. My sister passed in 2013 and THAT's when I let mother back into my life. I use self-talk to cope with her ongoing personal attacks. When she knocks my complexion, clothing, etc., I go grey rock even with body language. However, in my head, I say to myself, "what - EV - r r r r !" Considering the Sinners' Prayer, am I sinning against God with this THOUGHT, or does he see it as I do, a coping skill ???
I think it’s a coping skill. My mom is going through the same thing with my grandmother.lt’s rough I know!!
WE, OF FAITH, never 'move forward' ALONE. The forgivenss of heart is shown when we pray for those who 'hurt' us. That's one half of the FORGIVENESS thing... we have moved forward
when, even with gritted teeth, WE OFFER UP for this 'know not' of basic respect. BUT... our forgiveness will NOT change 'the one causing the problem.' We can try to subtly or bluntly telling of their actions...and that THEY resolve their issues with GOD. Not with us... CHANGE THEMSELVES WITH GOD. If they refuse to see their part in an issue of anger (or whatever) THE ISSUE REMAINS.
The TRIGGER is possibly GOD telling us TO KEEP PRAYING FOR THEM....because if they do not change, THEY WILL BE HURTING THEIR ETERNAL DESTINY. GOD is the eternal present... and
the only thing that hinders a person entering the ETERNAL PRESENT and GOD ... a S-elf I-ndulgent N-ature. OUR FORGIVING THEM IN HEART is one half the problem resolved ...the other
half is they WHO CANNOT SEE their ways. iF BROTHER doesn't listen, keep praying for.
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Nowhere in the Bible does it say forgiveness is for you and not the other person. The definition of forgiveness is not giving someone what they deserve. If you forgive a person then they benefit from it but you can still be very upset about what they did. It can eat you up inside. How do you make yourself feel differently? I can treat a person good who has wronged me but I can’t make myself stop being upset about it. You feel what you feel. It’s not a choice.
forgiving is not always as easy as some make it to be. I had no idea that at my 20 year HS reunion that the class counselor would trigger an old anger I had for him......I gave it a second.......then laughed and told my friends ....I forgave the old man his error. That was an easy one .....the next number of events each came with challenges
What helps is to read the stories of others who had great obstacles in forgiving.........The most successful stories were the ones that the victim went to Jesus for help to forgive.
When you are able to have a different lens to look through that God can give you, it is then you see the offender as a poor soul, and in great need of Gods Love. The event of forgiving in comparison to What Christ did for us, and the offer of Eternal Life, at that point, you see the smallness of the offender through HIS eyes.
to be sure, hurt you suffered is real, tragic, maybe even debilitating at first......until you weigh it against what awaits you in His Kingdom. The offense is not much bigger than a single grain of sand when you hold it up to what Jesus Christ has prepared for those who belong to HIM...........
Can I grasp the depth of your hurt ? YES & Yes ........ one took almost 10 years to repent of the hate I had for one person.......and that is SIN....Yet the Lord was patient, and finally got through to me . Go figure. Forgiving does not make the other person right or off the Hook....but it does SET YOU FREE TO HAVE PEACE WITH JESUS CHRIST
Haha..... Yes google is funny here.
Only biblical solutions are the best solutions. God bless you my dear Kris.
Ezekiel 34
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I don’t believe you can ever resolve the trauma of a wife cheating. Not as long as you stay with her. Maybe if you leave her and get over her and then move on and start a new chapter. As long as you are with her I don’t think you will ever be ok.
Do you have to have a relationship with them even though they have not apologized but you forgave?
@@christinagarcia8166 No, you don’t. If they haven’t apologized then they most likely haven’t changed either…God doesn’t call us to go back and be abused
Sadly the body memories never go away.
Too many abusers I guess
There are so many people like you who say that a person just needs to find a good counselor. What if a person can't afford a good and competent counselor??? Why don't I ever hear anyone address this issue?
Great wisdom and advice. THANK YOU! Since forgiveness is a decision, and act of the will...how does that work with Jesus saying in Matthew 18:35. Where he tells us we must forgive from the heart? He doesn't say forgive from your mind/will. He says from the heart. This is something I don't understand.
Maybe it means forgive with sincerity, not just words. I have recently been moved to forgive my husband as Holy Spirit has carried me through so many stages of coming to terms with the truth. I was able to stop taking it personally, see my part in it, break my trauma bond and emotional dependency. I barely recognize my husband because I let go of the past good times and acknowledged reality. He is possessed by demons and possibly turned over to his reprobate mind. I left the house during his recent rage. He continued to tempt me to engage as I prepared to leave but I bridled my tongue. When I returned the next day, I was determined to not speak, but listen. He took up right where he left off. I sat silent for thirty minutes as he raged. Then I started packing bags to go to my son’s house. It was the first time I felt calm and remained silent. I felt a sense of forgiveness and sadness for him. I am learning to set boundaries and will communicate them, knowing that if he is not capable of respecting them I will not continue to live in the same house with him.
Here I publicly declare that I forgive those who have hurt me and tried to harm me and my family (who were innocent in the situation), and I thank you Kris for making it clear that I don’t have to “feel” warm and fuzzy about that person. I believe the LORD will exact justice just like it happened with the snake in the Garden of Eden, and just like it happened with Judas who betrayed His Son. It’s all *Biblical. Forgiveness gives me the ability to move on with my life, so I thank You LORD for this freedom!!🙌😇
*Vengeance belongs to the LORD.
And Matthew 26:24
“The Son of Man indeed goes just as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born.”
Hallelujah!!!! The daily Jesus devotional has been a huge part of my transformation, God is good, after years of addiction to drugs and sins God chased me down as I earn $112,500 monthly. My life and family has changed, Thank you Jesus!!!!
There is her line below👍
That's her what,sapk🇺🇸
Always ac'tive she'll guide you definitely
Sure you can
She's very active on What's ApPp
Where is this taught in the bible, Kris Reece? I would say....nowhere! It's a bunch of lies, for people who do not know their bibles. It's that simple, Kris Reece!
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Questions asked posed as examples:
1. God says, He forgives all sins of some, yet brings up or recalls the memory of Babilon. Should one interpret it as, a. He has forgiven or b He has not forgiven? Or another.
Ahab showed remorse for the fact of "praying" to another god. He was forgiven however the generational curse fell onto his son, in the very next generation, thus the first generation. Forgiveness with a curse. How should one interpret it?
2. Revelations 2 v 6. God HATES certain tribes's works, hence will not forgive the tribe and according to God, if only 1 sins, then the WHOLE of the tribe, gets punished. Now this can come as anything. In the event of Israel being punished, for only 1 that sins, one would ask if forgiveness are REALLY given, or REALLY not remembered by God.
Don't get me wrong, I do understand sin and consequence thereof. I feel that the various types of sin and consequence was not looked at proper when it comes to FULL forgiveness, not affecting the generational bloodlines up to 4. Is there a list available describing all this, based on the various stories contained within the Bible, when forgiveness are actually given vs FULL forgiveness and not the false preaching of full forgiveness. The young ones probably need it most.
I find your way of explaining someone, very sensible. Thank you.
I really really need your help how do I get in touch with you to speak
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If you are still triggered it’s because you have gotten no justice. Forgiveness is a two way street. The perpetrator has to ask for forgiveness from the person they harmed or there isn’t an ending.
I still don’t understand what biblical forgiveness even means. The definition of forgiveness is not giving someone what they deserve. So you let it go and there are no consequences for the person who did you wrong. I get that. That’s fine. But how does that help you? You are still going to be upset. If the offense was really bad and hurt you deeply then it’s gonna eat you up. You will never be ok with it. What if ifs your wife? The only way to resolve it inside of you is to leave her, get over her, and start fresh. Once you’ve moved on you won’t care. As long as you are with her you will be miserable.
No music please 👍
Thanks for the feedback.