Hey I hope you read this! My parents have been divorced for 17 years now ( I am 18 years old and from germany) My mother and me are currently suing my father because he still owes us a lot of money, he more or less refuses to pay "adult support" (similar to child support, parents have to give money to their children if they have just recently become adults and dont go to work because they are visiting an university for example) So yesterday (exactly 7 hours ago, its like 5 o clock in the morning right now here in germany) me and my mother got the news that my father's lawyer supposedly passed away and that he can not appear in front of the judge because of this. Both me and my mother think this is a lie because we couldnt find any information in the local newspaper or in the internet about her passing away. Then I decided to make an very unfunny joke. I said that "I am no longer interested in suing my father as long as I don't know if his attorney is still alive or not." I said that as a joke, even though it isn't really funny. My mum however took it seriously and started screaming, I told her it was a joke but she was still hurt and started crying. She continued to cry for 2 hours, she almost had a mental breakdown. I apologized to her multiple times but she continued crying and she shook her head in disapproval and told me that I was playing with her feelings and emotions. I also made a whatsapp voice mail in which I told her that I loved her and In which I explained the joke. I really messed up here, I am usually a very stubborn person but this time even I realized that I messed up. I really should not have made such a stupid comment in an otherwise serious conversation and I should have never said that I am now on my dad's side, even if it was as a joke because he treated her so disrespectful in the past years. I have never seen her cry that much and I am the reason for this. I tried apologizing to her multiple times while she was crying but she never accepted any apology. I want her to forgive me and I also want to let her know that my apology is sincere. I thought about going to the store in a few hours when they open and buy her some flowers. I also realized that I am a bad son to her in general, I spend most of my time alone in my room and I never do the dishes, I don't help her cooking food and I very rarely clean my room and I always have a sarcastic and cynical answer to everything, I now also want to change that. I could not really sleep because of this situation, my mother is currently sleeping and I am not sure if she is still going to be upset when she wakes up. The only good thing is that when I asked her if she is going to forgive me, she answered "not today" which implies that she is going to forgive me at some point. But I am not sure if that is going to be the case, the amonouts of tears she cried say otherwise. Now I want to ask you (the guy in the video) what I have to do to be sure that she forgives me and what I can do to be a a better person towards my mother. You seem like a very smart and nice guy and you definetly earned yourself a new subscriber!
I messed up my relationship with my girlfriend and her mother and they don't want me in their life. I'm lost and depressed. Just looking for a friend. How do I be a man and confront them and apologize for my actions? Live On Purpose TV
I messed up really horribly.... I'm SO thankful I have a husband that is too stubborn to give up on me! I hope I can use the tools I learned here to express myself better
I don't know... maybe it's because the apology highlights our moment of weakness when we made the mistake? I think apologies are a sign of strength, because we're owning up to something we did wrong. I firmly believe that hurting people is one of the easiest things someone can do. Even babies can hurt people (ie. scratch/bite). However, showing humility & lifting someone up can be difficult ... & exhibits strength. So I agree w/ you Georgeanne, it deserves respect. 🙂
Lifting up a damaged woman is the most difficult thing you'll ever face in your life, make sure you want to be with her and your on your game ! Trust me
I was a bonehead today with my husband and said very hurtful things. I apologized but I think a follow-up is needed and I will use your tips. Thank you. 👏
This was somewhat helpful....but I screwed up big time with this person....saying they were never there for me. Now they even told me they wont, because I was ungrateful...I know exactly what I did wrong, and will never get a second chance... I'd like to get one good apology in before I give up on it.
Riadens Son Kamz, this could be a learning lesson for you in future relationships. Be grateful for the experience and hopefully you will get a second chance.
I have hurt my boyfriend by saying again and again that he has lost interest in me and he is so angry he needs to be at peace..I feel so sad and want to be forgiven
akshata wagh, give him a little time and space. Then you can try apologizing, and consider writing it out with pen and paper. If he doesn't forgive you, then this experience can be used as a learning opportunity moving forward. Thank you for watching.
@@nalanniahj1201 Hey! After nearly 2 months, 15 Days back he texted me. I am soo happy for that! Hope your bestiee will also reach out You after He/she Cools off!
@@shruthialluru1204 I mean I hope you know how to distinguish between true friendship and a toxic one. Because if he/she didn't respont to you for 2 months and 15 days, you must've done something really wrong.
I hurt a girl who is very special to me i never realized my faults I am selfish, manipulative, I don't always think of her feelings first and I am also kind hearted, loving, giving. I am not sure if she will forgive me but after doing some soul searching all I want is for her to be happy weather or not that's with me she is an amazing person and she deserves to be happy.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you, she is the first person to come into my life that I truly care about more than myself and I'm 37 years old. Her happiness makes me happy. And thank you for all the advice you give to us it makes so many lives better.
I hurt the most special person in my life numerous times by small lies and leaving things out of conversations that I know I shouldn’t have, and just a couple weeks ago it bottled up and caused her to leave. I’ve apologized but I know she needs space from me to process everything, as do I. Forgiving myself has been the hardest thing to do since it happened. I just pray that one day we can reconnect. Does anybody have any advice for my situation? Because I think about her everyday and am in a constant battle for how I feel towards her, but it always comes down to me wanting her to trust me again and being with her.
MYDonutHol3, You have to do some of the work it takes to get in a different space where you will not lie to her and do the things that caused her to leave. If she sees some changes, it may change her mind, but you have to do the work first. Good luck.
I love my parents and went a little bit harsh on them yesterday and want to ask for their forgiveness. But it's really difficult to not be selfish in this because I've been the one always apologizing and reflecting on myself.
I accidentally asked my friend out loud and annoyed why she was taking so long to read something and she didn’t respond. I later asked her again and she told me I she had dyslexia. Everyone in the room looked at me angry. I felt so bad. I later apologized over text and she told me it was fine and we started talking about other things. I still think she’s sad and that everyone in my class hates me now
I am not sure how old you are but you might try to read, Fish In A Tree by Linda Hunt is about a girl with dyslexia. Just treat her and everyone else nicely in class and they will get over it.
Yea I definitely messed up in my apology... I am sincerely sorry and have been crying all day and night because I hurt this person. I messed up bad and I wish I had done things better including my apology 🤦🏾♀️
Three years ago I did the worst thing I have ever done. My ex-husband was dying of cancer and my grown, but young daughter was taking care of him. I don't remember what set me off, but I told her, "I wish he would just die and get it over". Our relationship, which used to be close, has never been the same. I did apologize at the time, but the damage was done. I have lived with it every day since. I plan to write her a letter. This guide is helping me a lot.
please help me. i hurt the most important person in my life. I gave him trust issues and made him feel as if I didn't care about him. he talked to me about it so many times and i apologized and promised to change everything, but i kept hurting him when all i want to do is the opossite. he is literally my life and i don't know how to show him how much i love him. i don't know how this happened when he is the only person I care about in life. :(
Agostina Michelis, I hope the video gave you some ideas on how to apologize. It sounds like you did not mean to hurt him, however did so unintentionally. Perhaps you can ask him what you can do to make it right, and what you can do in the future to not make the same mistakes again. There is something called the 5 Love Languages, and though I don't necessarily promote that, it may serve you well to know that he needs to be shown you care for him in a different way that YOU show care and love. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
Same here. He broke up with me because he has no trust for me anymore. I am really sorry for what i did. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I miss him everyday. I hope he will forgive me and reach me out someday
You are right, Byron Mansfield, it really isn't a choice until you see it as a choice. Try this, ask yourself, what if.....? Imagine a good outcome to what you need to do and then go for it.
I apologied, went sincere and specific, cried even though people were seeing me, fell on the floor with my knees, looked down and told her I loved her. She answered : "Sorry I just can't..." It's been 41 days and I'm lost
6. 18. 18, One of the hardest things to understand is that we cannot control another person's decision. Find out why she cannot forgive and if there is a way to change her mind. If not, you will have to respect her decision. Keep a place for her in your heart.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I do respect her decision and I understand there's nothng i can do but I also know I cannot and dont want to forget her. She'll always be in my heart and I'll always be there for her even if she doesn't want me to. But I can't be without her
you coming here and learning is testament to the fact that you are willing to change in a healthy way for the sake of others, I think you are putting others before you now, good for you.
Thank you so much for this tutorial! I sometimes don't know how to apologise, and recently I hurt a friend's feelings. Thanks to this tutorial, I was able to make a decent apology and I was able to restore our friendship.
My story is long but here it goes. I met my girlfriend a year ago. And we had a blast and a great time together. It was suppose to be our anniversary soon. But I made a terrible mistake. I suffered from trauma that she didn't inflict when we began dating. And I let my trauma take control of me with anger and resentment and lust and judgemental issues. I lashed out and became a bit manipulative and controlling. My temper got worse. And I said things to her that I shouldn't have and don't mean. After my traumatic episodes things cooled down and she said she forgave me. But negative effects were still there. I was still judgemental. And my temper was loose. I was lustful for no reason. I became easy to become jealous. I began working on it but it seemed too late. I found God to become a better person but I noticed she became depressed. And I asked her if it was the past that was bothering her. She denied it for a while. But then one Monday morning. I woke up to tell her good morning. And she said she needed to end it. Because she can't forget my words. I didn't handle it well. It's been a month now. She said that it wasn't because she didn't love me but because she needed to heal. So I let her go and I wanted to become a better person. And I've been working on it with God's words and it has helped me improve my character greatly. But I still miss her. I prayed everyday. To this day I still miss her and I can't stop crying. I love her with all my heart. I hope I can make things right and show her I do care. And that I love her no matter what. I do want her in my life. I'm just afraid she doesn't want me anymore and that she's moved on. And the thought that I might die without showing her how much I truely love her and how much I've grown kills me. I pray and believe she still loves me and that she hasn't abandoned her heart for me. And that she heals and is happy. I want to be a better person for myself as a human being and as her boyfriend. I'm afraid of losing her. But I still have hope. I wish she knew how sorry I truely am. But I know it's up to God and her and that I must be patient. Because I don't know how much pain I did in fact cause her. I just hope she knows that I love her no matter what and that I'm sorry that I took her for granted and that I'll never give up on her. Even if she has given up on me.
gosh, I never knew a video like this existed. I really messed up bad time on apologizing to my partner. This really changed my perspective on how to apologize better. thank you sir!
My sister and I had a fight, and I told her that “I hate her” and that she’s not my sister because she keeps comparing me to my mother. I am 24 and I’m still living my mother, and things are starting to get really stressful between us. I now have finally realized, maybe my sister was right this entire time that my mother was controlling and would most likely put me down, when all she keeps saying is that she’s trying to help me. I take back everything that I’ve said to my sister, and now it is time for me to grow up and start apologizing to my sister. However, I want to do it the right way, not just by phone, but face-to-face. Your video is really helpful.
I hurt my Grandson I said .I didnt want his help.I have called him but. He wont call me back.I really want to apologize to him.I cry everyday and God to forgive me for hurting him.
I hurt my bestfriend, I have been trying to apologise to her since the past week, but she's been ignoring me, it hurts, but I'll keep trying, thx for the tips in the video, I needed this positivity to keep going on
Thank you for watching, Ronit Das. I am glad you are willing to try these tips. I sincerely hope they work. I would like to add: give your friend a bit of time before trying to apologize again. Sometimes people just need a little time and space before they are willing to forgive.
@@dreamcxfe hey, I really forgot I even wrote this comment so many days, and it's been more than an year ( what a journey) not only did she forgive me, now she's my girlfriend
@@ronitdas266 AWHHH omd that was the most wholesome thing ever!! i’m so happy for you, and yea lol i figured you may have forgot since it’s been a year but it’s so good to see how things can change for the better :)
I had an episode after experiencing trauma and I feel like I deeply hurt my brother, who was the only person I was close to. Mental illness is not an excuse to act hurtful, I don't think I've ever had this much regret, ever..
I don't know how to live life without this person its seriously been 2 hours and I want to cry I hope this works it's to late tonight but I'll talk to him tomorrow and I'll also write him something in a letter and give it to him with some homemade cookies thank you for the tips and I'll edit with the result
I lied to her about something. I also made her unintentionally feel unwanted and ended up hurting her so much. I really don't want her to leave me but now she's on the edge of leaving me. Please help
Kirby Carabeo, you need to change your behavior, your actions, your words and show her that you mean it. Make her feel wanted, loved and valued. You know what to do and if you don't, ask her.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you very much sir! I've watched some of your videos and it was all worth it. I learned a lot from it. God bless you and yoir family sir!🤗
I really messed up with my mom and I was disrespectful with her and I made her angry, I cried for hours and apologized but I gave up then i searched up this and she forgave me thank you so much it was so helpful!
I told my boyfriend that he needs to do something with his life and grow up and I did it really insensitively and kind of lectured him, he got mad and told me not to lecture him and I know nothing about his life and that he didn’t want to talk to me. It hurt ngl.
Thank you for watching, Itz ya gurl Allie. Give him some time, and then try sincerely apologizing again. If you cannot do it physically in person, write him a letter.
I'm sure I've written this b4, but I wish Paul was my father. I'm not close with my Dad so I unconsciously pretend Paul is mine. He always has THE BEST advice. I have harmed my friend and her son SO BADLY and am SO ASHAMED. I let my mental chatter get the better of me.
tonight my girlfriend went to bed upset because i was joking around with her and i made her feel like i just tolerate her and she’s a disappointment. it broke me, she’s the one person in my life who hasn’t let me down and i want her to feel like she can be herself whenever she’s around me. it really hurts to hear her say that she feels like she’s just someone to be put up with.
I'm sorry I hurt you, I said awful things and made you feel like a bad person. That was not your fault, it was always mine. I don't expect you to forgive me right now, if you DO decide to forgive me I'll wait for you.
There is this girl who I will probably not see a lot again. And I made plans to visit her at a camp. Then, I had to cancel last second, and I think it made her really sad. I am going to try and go to the camp this morning, and surprise her. Then, I'll apologise, I really hope everything will be okay!
I said things which I never intended to because of a misunderstanding, I felt abandoned. I have been apologising repeatedly and I really mean it. I really hope to be forgiven.
Thank you so much for this video! I recently saw my friend being bullied online, but it had already gotten too far, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tend to think about someone getting bullied for up to months after it happens, even if I don’t know them. Though I wasn’t involved, I felt I had to apologize.
I made a mistake that really hurt him..but he chose to understand and forgave me once...now i did something like that again and now he has gotten quite rude...the fact that i repeated something that had already hurt him once is adding onto the guilt...i really don't wanna loose him. I've understood my mistake and i know i will never do it again...i really want him to forgive me this time...the fact that i messed up my second chance is hurting him even more and making him regret his decision
I almost kissed another girl while drunk at a party. I felt so guilty that I told my girlfriend, she's taking some time to herself but if she does decide to forgive me moving forward I will actively take steps to avoid being put in that situation again.
I had a conversation last night with my gf that she said hurt her feelings and the conversation with her was about things that she had done that had hurt my feelings. I obviously didn't want to hurt her feelings but I also knew I couldn't just keep my feelings hidden. I'm unsure of what the correct thing is to do in this type of situation? I apologized later by saying "I'm sorry if the way I presented that information hurt you. I had no ill intentions in our conversation. I love you"
Sicklepop, healthy relationships require communication and forgiveness (we all make mistakes). It sounds like you did both of those - communicated what was important to you and then apologized for the presentation. I encourage you to keep it up, and be an example of how to be mature in a relationship. Continue to be kind and loving, while also being honest.
yesterday i promised one of my closest friends that i would stay away from trouble and today as a joke i was like imma do something stupid. she took it the wrong way, i wrote 4 paragraphs on how much i love her and she hasn’t answered seriously yet🥺
Lil Abz, thank you for watching the video - I hope it helped. In the letter you wrote, did you sincerely apologize? If so, give her some time. During that time, look for ways you can be kind to her and/or serve her. It would be even more beneficial if you did the same for others... but be authentic about it. We are trying to boost your reputation, not spoil it with fake kindness. If she still doesn't change her mind about you, use this as a learning experience moving forward. Best wishes.
Id add, don’t apologize if you’re not ready just because « you have to » because you can’t achieve 5. You can be sincere but committing not to hurt the person again is the serious bit of an apology.
Yikes, I remember a similar circumstance, Andrew Bonneau. Quick, come up with a plan of how you will make restitution for the table and apologize profusely. I am here for you.
Hello there Dr. Paul! Thank you for this video. Hope to hold onto the clear focus of "impact over intent", of centering on the hurt of those I have harmed rather than the blind temptations for excuses the more I learn to write better apologies as I accept my responsibility for my actions, one messy situation at a time. Even when one suffers, it does not exempt one from causing others suffering as well, human as we are, and I do not want to try to use my personal afflictions as a shield against accountability for the effects of what I have done for others whose faith in me I have caused to waiver. Certainly it's painful when we realize how we have hurt those we love, when the effects of our actions outweigh the initial intent behind them; yet there's also the opportunity to choose to responsibly grow from these moments so that we refuse to inflict that pain once again. Praying that your tips help more people hurting and in need of healing in all sorts of ways across all sorts of moments in life. Even if it hurts, I want to do the next loving thing even if it's an apology another can choose not to accept and that's okay. One opportunity to sincerely and graciously apologize at a time.
What about for bigger mistakes? Also what about long distance relationships? It’s much harder to be sincere when you’re calling or messaging and not face to face.
I have a really bad habit of not being able to keep secrets all the time, and I told 2 people one of my friends secrets and it hurt her. I have apologized but I never sound genuine and I don't know why, of course I'm working on keeping my mouth shut and it's understandable why none of my friends trust me anymore but I wanna work on earning their trust again and allowing them to see my improvement
I have a feeling that my lover is mad at me for being too hard on him when he went out of his way for me. I forget that he's busy with 2 jobs & i wana apologize to him its killing me. Btw you have a new subscriber here. I love the video❤
I hope what I learn from this video can make me a better person, i hurt someone i truly love, i messed up so bad, and i really hope that she'll forgive me, I don't know what to do because i can't reach her anymore, i really hope that the time i can reach her, i can apologize i a proper and comfortable way for her, thank you for making this video
Thank you so much for this video. I learned so much. I learned what it takes to make a sincere attempt to love and communicate with someone. I also learned that I am not a good enough person to do that. I think the truth is that I’m just unfit for loving. I’m too much of a coward to say I’m sorry like this. I think now I’m sure that my husband would be better off alone. Thank you.
Brita Kurowski, I do not believe you are a coward. You came here to learn how to apologize - that says something about you. Please do not give up. You ARE worth it... you ARE good enough. I believe THAT. Please reach out to someone to help you get to a better place. We have a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches - would you consider taking advantage of that? You probably can't get one of us right away, but if you are able to wait, we would love to talk things over with you. Please consider scheduling a call: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall. Best wishes.
it's been a year.. we have moments of love but there are times that she still act like it happened yesterday. i just cried in a corner i did everything i can to show her that i changed.. i hope someday she will forgive me..
I made a mistake a long time ago and I’ve changed from then and I’ve realized my mistake. They deserve an apology but what if they never want to speak to me again I’m just scared that I will loose them.
Yvonne, sometimes we have to suffer consequences for our actions. Apologize, you don't know what the outcome will be until you do so. It could work in your favor.
I accused my brother of doing something really horrible yesterday that I know I can't ever take back and things might be forever changed between us but I really want to apologize and tell him how sorry I am. Even if he had done the thing I accused him of (which it turns out he didn't), I should be there by him helping him understand and helping him to make everything better. But instead, I threw the accusations and it ended up in a screaming match. I am very stubborn person and apologizing is very hard for me to do, and I'm working on that and this is something that I really need to do.
Claire McVeigh, I hope you found the courage to apologize to your brother. You will feel so much better after it. It's great that you even looked up how to say sorry, watched this video, and admitted wrong-doing. That takes humility! Your relationship with your brother is so much more valuable than the pride of not apologizing.
I have a friend (girl) at work and her and I where really close. We've even done double dates with her husband and my wife. About 2 weeks ago I thought she was using me for other reasons I won't mention but at last had it all wrong. I was giving her the cold shoulder and not even saying hi or bye at the end of my shift. After a few attempts at trying to get my attention and asking if everything was ok, she got the drift and stopped talking to me. Now I have this big guilt that won't go away. It's eating me from the inside. I just want to apologize but im not sure how she will react now... so im nervous. She sits really close to me at work but is on another team and we are all getting relocated so she won't be close anymore. I want to apologize before this happens since I won't have her close anymore.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Just a quick update. I apologized about more than a week ago and she forgave me. She was up front and told me that it really hurt her since she didn't know what she did wrong. That made me feel like a total jerk. We are back to being friends once again but I know it will always linger what I did to her but I hope that one day she could totally forgive me. Thank you for the help!! I feel like all this heavy negatively has been lifted off of me and I can move on with my life and being friends with her once again.
I messed up and i keep begging for him to give me a chance to change. I am dissapointed about myself for acting stupid and crazy. But he broke up with me. And now i cannot fix the things that I've done. I blew it all! I am so heartbroken and dissapointed about myself right now. 😢
I just was never really taught how to apologize. I feel like my relationship with my parents is kind of iffy. They guilt trip and belittle me a lot and yesterday was kind of a breaking point and I said something that offended my mom. Because my relationship with her just doesn't feel right, I'm uncomfortable being around or talking to her and something is holding me back from apologizing. it makes me wonder if I have too much pride but idk because I just have really low self esteem.
i messed up by getting mad at my mom and broke something. i really hope that my apology works and that she can understand that I didn't meant to hurt her. she must be so disappointed but im gonna try my best to ensure that she's not disappointed ever again. :(
The best apology is no apology. Just straight out admit what you had to lose & say 'thank you' to that person for having given you a chance at love when no one else did. And lastly, walk on. Understand that once you have hurt someone who loved you for who you are in a world where most merely like you for what you have, that person requires your absence now. Getting back together out of regret shows that you do not shoulder your own wrongdoings & instead, are more concerned with your regret than empathising with the other person's pain. Getting back together is akin to your acting like as if you did no wrong to begin with. And that is just adding more insult to that person's already devalued opinions of you. Regret & shame are all that the ungrateful are worthy of. And I carry it with me to this day, alone. Some may say that no one deserves to feel that low in life but I say, remember. You hurt someone who loved you. And got away with it. That is injustice at it's worst. Injustice against that person, as well as your own self... for having never learnt the true meaning of love: compassion & patience.
My girlfriend comes from a rough family. She’s currently on a choices for youth program and is living in her own apartment (I’m 18, she’s 17). She believes me and my family want her to change herself because she was raised in a abusive household and her personality sometimes reflects that (not in a abusive way but but in a tough way). She also fears my family doesn’t like her and they don’t want me near a bad influence. We had a talk about this about a week ago and I promised to be more mindful about how she felt about the subject and to not say anything that would give the idea that I didn’t like that side of her (which started the fight/talk). I just went back on my promise, saying something like what I just described, and now is very angry with me. It was not my intention to make her feel like this but what matters is that it made her feel sad and insecure. I love this girl with all my heart and I want to make this right. I fear this is impossible to make better because I failed to deliver my promise. Please reply when you can for advice
Ben Tilley, we are all human and make mistakes. What is important in a relationship is acknowledging the mistake and seeking to find a way to not do that again. It might be more about how you communicate with one another. If she can tell you how things you say make her feel, you can learn how to communicate. Hopefully she is in some type of counseling and perhaps you could join her in that to learn to communicate.
What can I do when I'm constantly hurting my partner because of my mental illness? I dont want to hurt him but it just happens and it happens so often, that I just dont know how to apologize anymore. Pls help :/
So my girlfriend and I have got in a fight.. I teased her a bit and she cussed me out, I overreacted by backfiring against her cussing me out... Causing her to possibly be done with me. I learned that 2 wrongs do not make a right. I really hope she forgives me, she is the love of my life and we are getting everything set out for us. 😞
Chazz Hitt, sounds like you both need to learn to communicate better. If she forgives you now, get some help to learn to communicate what you are feeling so you can make the relationship stronger.
Tulop, thank you for watching. It's been a few days... do you think you can take the principles you learned in this video and try to apologize to your friend? We've had some people on the channel express a similar situation, and then they find a way to apologize and are able to gain the friendship back. I encourage you to try.
@@tulip5210 You never do know for sure until you try apologizing. If it doesn't work out for you, the best you can do with this experience is learn from it and move forward. Best wishes.
i’ve hurt my boyfriend numerous times and he’s been giving me so many chances but now i’ve just lost his trust, hurt him so much that he wants to end our relationship. i genuinely do love him and i want him to stay :((
This is the 3rd time I've seriously hurt my sister. She is mentally unstable and I really don't want to hurt her but I keep doing it. She loves me alot and I'm scared she'll stop caring. She probably hates my guts right now and I don't know how to make it up to her, it's hard to live with the guilt. I really love her but don't know how to apologise and show her that I care and am there for her. I messed up really bad this time.
I put my hands on my ex .... The first time I did it she thanked me, she was so lost and I was too and I was fresh from getting knocked out everyday at my dad's ... What hurts the most is she didn't leave she left when I cheated that's what broke her heart ...I only did it because she wouldn't see me, I'm in such a better place now within my own life and I always think about her
She's leaving but I would like to write her an apology letter, I've already said it, however, I can express myself better on paper. Will a letter help?
Thank you for watching, Eric Jones. A letter may help; many people are like you and express themselves better when they can think about what they want to say as they write it out. Just remember that you cannot control her, only influence. If there is any way to show your sincerity by physically doing something (like small acts of service), I would strongly recommend doing that. For more ideas, you might want to check out our "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg
Thank you for your video. It was illuminating and I really liked it (right from Italy XD) Still, even if you use your suggestion (that are fantastic, btw), there's still that person that will respond with " I don't give a f**k about your excuses. Excuses don't repair stuff\fill the bills\extingush debts\make any useful practical help". So, the main ingredient for this wonderful cake that we call "saying sorry to the loved one" is that the loved one is more interested in loving you and listening than recriminate stuff and be on its position
I wish this person and her husband knows how much I love and miss then. I'll never forget the conversation the husband had with me. As he drove me home he said. Now you know if you stay here on your own you won't make it. You should think about moving with us. We got you!! But that never happen. Things out of my control allowed them to belive I stole from them. I did not. But that put a dent in our friendship. The one true friendship I had in life I messed it up. I miss them so much. Like the best couple ever!!! Smart.. Gamers.. Kind... Goofy.. Intelligent.. Did I say smart.. I pray and cry everyday to take the pain of not having them in my life. Look we are humans and we are not meant to be alone. God please touch their souls and let them know I love them. I've never stopped.
What If My Child Just Doesn't Care About Consequences - ruclips.net/video/Eu9_EXaVzOo/видео.html
Hey I hope you read this! My parents have been divorced for 17 years now ( I am 18 years old and from germany) My mother and me are currently suing my father because he still owes us a lot of money, he more or less refuses to pay "adult support" (similar to child support, parents have to give money to their children if they have just recently become adults and dont go to work because they are visiting an university for example) So yesterday (exactly 7 hours ago, its like 5 o clock in the morning right now here in germany) me and my mother got the news that my father's lawyer supposedly passed away and that he can not appear in front of the judge because of this. Both me and my mother think this is a lie because we couldnt find any information in the local newspaper or in the internet about her passing away. Then I decided to make an very unfunny joke. I said that "I am no longer interested in suing my father as long as I don't know if his attorney is still alive or not." I said that as a joke, even though it isn't really funny. My mum however took it seriously and started screaming, I told her it was a joke but she was still hurt and started crying. She continued to cry for 2 hours, she almost had a mental breakdown. I apologized to her multiple times but she continued crying and she shook her head in disapproval and told me that I was playing with her feelings and emotions. I also made a whatsapp voice mail in which I told her that I loved her and In which I explained the joke. I really messed up here, I am usually a very stubborn person but this time even I realized that I messed up. I really should not have made such a stupid comment in an otherwise serious conversation and I should have never said that I am now on my dad's side, even if it was as a joke because he treated her so disrespectful in the past years. I have never seen her cry that much and I am the reason for this. I tried apologizing to her multiple times while she was crying but she never accepted any apology. I want her to forgive me and I also want to let her know that my apology is sincere. I thought about going to the store in a few hours when they open and buy her some flowers. I also realized that I am a bad son to her in general, I spend most of my time alone in my room and I never do the dishes, I don't help her cooking food and I very rarely clean my room and I always have a sarcastic and cynical answer to everything, I now also want to change that. I could not really sleep because of this situation, my mother is currently sleeping and I am not sure if she is still going to be upset when she wakes up. The only good thing is that when I asked her if she is going to forgive me, she answered "not today" which implies that she is going to forgive me at some point. But I am not sure if that is going to be the case, the amonouts of tears she cried say otherwise. Now I want to ask you (the guy in the video) what I have to do to be sure that she forgives me and what I can do to be a a better person towards my mother. You seem like a very smart and nice guy and you definetly earned yourself a new subscriber!
Me who is the child😂
I Really Want This Person To Forgive Me I Cry Everyday... 😭😭😭
DeVante Williams, don't forget to forgive yourself. Move forward positively each day.
I messed up my relationship with my girlfriend and her mother and they don't want me in their life. I'm lost and depressed. Just looking for a friend. How do I be a man and confront them and apologize for my actions? Live On Purpose TV
Me too..he hates me
ria sanskar same I think ,I feel so bad of it
I have a skill.. I can hurt people multiple times and still can make them forgive me and trust me again.
1. Sincere
2. Specific
3. Focus on the person
4. No but! (with one "t")
5. *If its appropriate* share the thing we learned from that mistake.
Thank you good sir. This is simple yet useful ;)
Thank you!
With one "t" just got me 😂
It's really helpful thanks....
One thing I try to think of is "Am I apologizing to help them or to help me?"
I have a fear of an apology just hurting more than helping.
Saying sorry if you hurt someone its important as important as receiving those apologies if you the one who have been repeatedly hurt. 😊
True, Estelle Bikoi. Thank you for watching and commenting.
I messed up really horribly.... I'm SO thankful I have a husband that is too stubborn to give up on me! I hope I can use the tools I learned here to express myself better
Yes, you can! Sounds like you have the tools to make a great life together.
flirting with another male ?
Why is it that some feel that apologizing is a sign of weakness? Am I wrong for thinking that a person that can do just that, earns respect.
I don't know... maybe it's because the apology highlights our moment of weakness when we made the mistake? I think apologies are a sign of strength, because we're owning up to something we did wrong. I firmly believe that hurting people is one of the easiest things someone can do. Even babies can hurt people (ie. scratch/bite). However, showing humility & lifting someone up can be difficult ... & exhibits strength. So I agree w/ you Georgeanne, it deserves respect. 🙂
Yes, we all deserve respect. Thank you for your comments, Tecumseh A.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV (smile)
Ego
Lifting up a damaged woman is the most difficult thing you'll ever face in your life, make sure you want to be with her and your on your game ! Trust me
You just don’t know how this video positively saved my relationship. Thank you sir for providing with those great expensive sessions for free
Thank you for letting me know, Mark! That is something to celebrate.
I was a bonehead today with my husband and said very hurtful things. I apologized but I think a follow-up is needed and I will use your tips. Thank you. 👏
You got this!
This guy is a legend....he is still replying in the comment section to people on such an old video.....respect sir🙏💯
GSK Music, we try to comment on every comment, doesn't matter how old. Hopefully we can create a community of positive minded people. Thanks.
You made me realise that “BUT” was an issue thank you 😊
You’re welcome 😊
This was somewhat helpful....but I screwed up big time with this person....saying they were never there for me. Now they even told me they wont, because I was ungrateful...I know exactly what I did wrong, and will never get a second chance... I'd like to get one good apology in before I give up on it.
Riadens Son Kamz, this could be a learning lesson for you in future relationships. Be grateful for the experience and hopefully you will get a second chance.
This is very unpopular, but you saved me 😅
Forgiveness is critical as withholding will hurt us more and we don't want to hurt ourselves, NightWolfii :3.
Because you are girl
@@niketvishwakarma1833 what-
@@thereallofigirl its true i wanted to say same thing
@@-privat-9061 why lol?
this guy is just over here casually saving my friendship
dummy elizabeth, hey, thanks for watching. Good luck.
Yeah he’s doing the same for me I hope it works.
I didn’t know how to express my apology to my gf. We’re in a LDR and you saved us. Thank you!!!
Jed, our pleasure.
I have hurt my boyfriend by saying again and again that he has lost interest in me and he is so angry he needs to be at peace..I feel so sad and want to be forgiven
akshata wagh, give him a little time and space. Then you can try apologizing, and consider writing it out with pen and paper. If he doesn't forgive you, then this experience can be used as a learning opportunity moving forward. Thank you for watching.
Same here. But that was happened with my bestie. I also conveyed my aplogies to him. He said me not to msg and call him😭
@@shruthialluru1204 same😭😭
@@nalanniahj1201 Hey! After nearly 2 months, 15 Days back he texted me. I am soo happy for that! Hope your bestiee will also reach out You after He/she Cools off!
@@shruthialluru1204 I mean I hope you know how to distinguish between true friendship and a toxic one. Because if he/she didn't respont to you for 2 months and 15 days, you must've done something really wrong.
I hurt a girl who is very special to me i never realized my faults I am selfish, manipulative, I don't always think of her feelings first and I am also kind hearted, loving, giving. I am not sure if she will forgive me but after doing some soul searching all I want is for her to be happy weather or not that's with me she is an amazing person and she deserves to be happy.
n, I love your ability to wish her the best, even though it may not be with you. You are growing and learning.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you, she is the first person to come into my life that I truly care about more than myself and I'm 37 years old. Her happiness makes me happy. And thank you for all the advice you give to us it makes so many lives better.
@Noon Siri she is still confused and scared but it's OK. She can have the time she needs to work through how what I did made her feel.
@@natefmx something similar basically happened to me too... how did it end up with you two?
I hurt the most special person in my life numerous times by small lies and leaving things out of conversations that I know I shouldn’t have, and just a couple weeks ago it bottled up and caused her to leave. I’ve apologized but I know she needs space from me to process everything, as do I. Forgiving myself has been the hardest thing to do since it happened. I just pray that one day we can reconnect. Does anybody have any advice for my situation? Because I think about her everyday and am in a constant battle for how I feel towards her, but it always comes down to me wanting her to trust me again and being with her.
MYDonutHol3, You have to do some of the work it takes to get in a different space where you will not lie to her and do the things that caused her to leave. If she sees some changes, it may change her mind, but you have to do the work first. Good luck.
Wow. I have trouble processing information and I actually understood this. This is such an amazing lesson. Thank you
BabyWolf M.C., you are welcome, honored to be on your team.
I love my parents and went a little bit harsh on them yesterday and want to ask for their forgiveness. But it's really difficult to not be selfish in this because I've been the one always apologizing and reflecting on myself.
I wish you well.
I accidentally asked my friend out loud and annoyed why she was taking so long to read something and she didn’t respond. I later asked her again and she told me I she had dyslexia. Everyone in the room looked at me angry. I felt so bad. I later apologized over text and she told me it was fine and we started talking about other things. I still think she’s sad and that everyone in my class hates me now
I am not sure how old you are but you might try to read, Fish In A Tree by Linda Hunt is about a girl with dyslexia. Just treat her and everyone else nicely in class and they will get over it.
That’s the biggest L
Dude a saying sorry in text isnt a sorry at all. It has to be in real life
I would apologise publicly (with her permission) because she was embarrassed publicly imo
Yea I definitely messed up in my apology... I am sincerely sorry and have been crying all day and night because I hurt this person. I messed up bad and I wish I had done things better including my apology 🤦🏾♀️
Shemiah Lee, ask for a do over and do it right, you got this.
Three years ago I did the worst thing I have ever done. My ex-husband was dying of cancer and my grown, but young daughter was taking care of him. I don't remember what set me off, but I told her, "I wish he would just die and get it over". Our relationship, which used to be close, has never been the same. I did apologize at the time, but the damage was done. I have lived with it every day since. I plan to write her a letter. This guide is helping me a lot.
Dana Campbell, that was pretty hurtful. I hope you can find reconciliation.
please help me. i hurt the most important person in my life. I gave him trust issues and made him feel as if I didn't care about him. he talked to me about it so many times and i apologized and promised to change everything, but i kept hurting him when all i want to do is the opossite. he is literally my life and i don't know how to show him how much i love him. i don't know how this happened when he is the only person I care about in life. :(
Agostina Michelis, I hope the video gave you some ideas on how to apologize. It sounds like you did not mean to hurt him, however did so unintentionally. Perhaps you can ask him what you can do to make it right, and what you can do in the future to not make the same mistakes again. There is something called the 5 Love Languages, and though I don't necessarily promote that, it may serve you well to know that he needs to be shown you care for him in a different way that YOU show care and love. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
I'm also going through same, did it worked?Need help!
I broke someone's trust. I feel terrible should I tell that person?
@@Khushi-il8bf yes. Be honest irl hurt more if they find out and u dint tell them
Same here. He broke up with me because he has no trust for me anymore. I am really sorry for what i did. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I miss him everyday. I hope he will forgive me and reach me out someday
I texted my mom something that I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings and now I don’t know what to do
Jin Kim, say you are sorry, get her flowers or do something awesome for her. Apologize.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I accidentally called my bf a cock/ dick over the phone n he hung up. N ignored my sorry text. What should I do now
I wish I had the strength to do what I need to but I can't
You are right, Byron Mansfield, it really isn't a choice until you see it as a choice. Try this, ask yourself, what if.....? Imagine a good outcome to what you need to do and then go for it.
Words can be very damaging, but also the means to make them feel better - we can sometimes forget how much we can hurt people close to us
Very true. Be careful with your words, once they are out, it is impossible to put them back in.
I apologied, went sincere and specific, cried even though people were seeing me, fell on the floor with my knees, looked down and told her I loved her. She answered : "Sorry I just can't..." It's been 41 days and I'm lost
6. 18. 18, One of the hardest things to understand is that we cannot control another person's decision. Find out why she cannot forgive and if there is a way to change her mind. If not, you will have to respect her decision. Keep a place for her in your heart.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I do respect her decision and I understand there's nothng i can do but I also know I cannot and dont want to forget her. She'll always be in my heart and I'll always be there for her even if she doesn't want me to. But I can't be without her
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I don't know why but I feel like I'm not mature enough to deal with this I thought it was an adult thing but apparently not.
@@jdkdksldjdiskslsksl3657 oh darling I understand. I felt in a trap because of a misunderstanding. I'm begging to be forgiven but. I am going astray.
Any update?
This video is going to help me a lot since I have trouble putting others before me and thinking about their feelings.
Aiko Sunlight, I am glad it is adding value to your life.
you coming here and learning is testament to the fact that you are willing to change in a healthy way for the sake of others, I think you are putting others before you now, good for you.
Thank you so much for this tutorial! I sometimes don't know how to apologise, and recently I hurt a friend's feelings. Thanks to this tutorial, I was able to make a decent apology and I was able to restore our friendship.
I love to hear that! Wonderful.
My story is long but here it goes. I met my girlfriend a year ago. And we had a blast and a great time together. It was suppose to be our anniversary soon. But I made a terrible mistake. I suffered from trauma that she didn't inflict when we began dating. And I let my trauma take control of me with anger and resentment and lust and judgemental issues. I lashed out and became a bit manipulative and controlling. My temper got worse. And I said things to her that I shouldn't have and don't mean. After my traumatic episodes things cooled down and she said she forgave me. But negative effects were still there. I was still judgemental. And my temper was loose. I was lustful for no reason. I became easy to become jealous. I began working on it but it seemed too late. I found God to become a better person but I noticed she became depressed. And I asked her if it was the past that was bothering her. She denied it for a while. But then one Monday morning. I woke up to tell her good morning. And she said she needed to end it. Because she can't forget my words. I didn't handle it well. It's been a month now. She said that it wasn't because she didn't love me but because she needed to heal. So I let her go and I wanted to become a better person. And I've been working on it with God's words and it has helped me improve my character greatly. But I still miss her. I prayed everyday. To this day I still miss her and I can't stop crying. I love her with all my heart. I hope I can make things right and show her I do care. And that I love her no matter what. I do want her in my life. I'm just afraid she doesn't want me anymore and that she's moved on. And the thought that I might die without showing her how much I truely love her and how much I've grown kills me. I pray and believe she still loves me and that she hasn't abandoned her heart for me. And that she heals and is happy. I want to be a better person for myself as a human being and as her boyfriend. I'm afraid of losing her. But I still have hope. I wish she knew how sorry I truely am. But I know it's up to God and her and that I must be patient. Because I don't know how much pain I did in fact cause her. I just hope she knows that I love her no matter what and that I'm sorry that I took her for granted and that I'll never give up on her. Even if she has given up on me.
Continue working on yourself and hopefully your paths will cross so she can see the changes you have made.
gosh, I never knew a video like this existed. I really messed up bad time on apologizing to my partner. This really changed my perspective on how to apologize better. thank you sir!
Glad we can connect.
My sister and I had a fight, and I told her that “I hate her” and that she’s not my sister because she keeps comparing me to my mother. I am 24 and I’m still living my mother, and things are starting to get really stressful between us. I now have finally realized, maybe my sister was right this entire time that my mother was controlling and would most likely put me down, when all she keeps saying is that she’s trying to help me. I take back everything that I’ve said to my sister, and now it is time for me to grow up and start apologizing to my sister. However, I want to do it the right way, not just by phone, but face-to-face. Your video is really helpful.
Amber Smith, thank you. I wish you the best with your conversation.
I tried all this but it seems like they are still mad at me and I just want to cry...
thaytu thaytu, remember that you can only control yourself, not what someone else feels or how they decide to act. Be positive and happy.
Thank you for these tips, they've helped me to save my relationship!
I'm so glad!
I hurt my Grandson I said .I didnt want his help.I have called him but. He wont call me back.I really want to apologize to him.I cry everyday and God to forgive me for hurting him.
I hurt my bestfriend, I have been trying to apologise to her since the past week, but she's been ignoring me, it hurts, but I'll keep trying, thx for the tips in the video, I needed this positivity to keep going on
Thank you for watching, Ronit Das. I am glad you are willing to try these tips. I sincerely hope they work. I would like to add: give your friend a bit of time before trying to apologize again. Sometimes people just need a little time and space before they are willing to forgive.
did she forgive you?
@@dreamcxfe hey, I really forgot I even wrote this comment so many days, and it's been more than an year ( what a journey) not only did she forgive me, now she's my girlfriend
@@ronitdas266 AWHHH omd that was the most wholesome thing ever!! i’m so happy for you, and yea lol i figured you may have forgot since it’s been a year but it’s so good to see how things can change for the better :)
@@ronitdas266 how much space did you give her before finally asking for forgiveness?
I hurt the person closest to me all the time.. i dont realise it till she tells me..
S h i b o, good for you in listening to someone else's feedback. That is how we learn.
another thing that spoils an apology is conditional - "if... then..."
i really dislike these types of insincere "apologies"
Dorn, I hear you, you are right.
Me: Stop reading the comments and focus on the video....
It can be hard sometimes, Pass it On. People have interesting things to say. Regardless, thanks for watching.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV the trauma my man caused is so painful and he could care less, he blames ME.
Now what?
You got me😂😂😭
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....me too.... are you spying on me 😂🤣
Same
I just want to say sorry
To some one in my life
That I will
Can not lose.
But I will try to say sorry
After this video
I sincerely hope you were able to apologize and receive forgiveness.
I had an episode after experiencing trauma and I feel like I deeply hurt my brother, who was the only person I was close to. Mental illness is not an excuse to act hurtful, I don't think I've ever had this much regret, ever..
Creek Rat, use that regret to apologize, do what is necessary to heal the relationship.
I don't know how to live life without this person its seriously been 2 hours and I want to cry I hope this works it's to late tonight but I'll talk to him tomorrow and I'll also write him something in a letter and give it to him with some homemade cookies thank you for the tips and I'll edit with the result
Good luck, Tamar.
I lied to her about something. I also made her unintentionally feel unwanted and ended up hurting her so much. I really don't want her to leave me but now she's on the edge of leaving me. Please help
Kirby Carabeo, you need to change your behavior, your actions, your words and show her that you mean it. Make her feel wanted, loved and valued. You know what to do and if you don't, ask her.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you very much sir! I've watched some of your videos and it was all worth it. I learned a lot from it. God bless you and yoir family sir!🤗
This guy has said everything I've tried but better
Daniel Healy, all we can do is try.
Oh my gosh this helped me so much. I can't thank you enough. You might have just saved my relationship. Thank you
That would be wonderful! I wish you the best.
I really messed up with my mom and I was disrespectful with her and I made her angry, I cried for hours and apologized but I gave up then i searched up this and she forgave me thank you so much it was so helpful!
I applaud you for doing some research and caring enough to go the extra mile. You are awesome.
I hurted my girlfriend and i feel ashamed of hurting her. What can I do to make her happy again 😔😔
The World of Directioners, talk to her and ask her what she needs in order to feel safe with you.
Thank you I learned alot from this video and now I realize how I messed alot up
Glad I could help, Capo Jeemon, when we know better, we do better.
I told my boyfriend that he needs to do something with his life and grow up and I did it really insensitively and kind of lectured him, he got mad and told me not to lecture him and I know nothing about his life and that he didn’t want to talk to me. It hurt ngl.
Thank you for watching, Itz ya gurl Allie. Give him some time, and then try sincerely apologizing again. If you cannot do it physically in person, write him a letter.
I'm sure I've written this b4, but I wish Paul was my father. I'm not close with my Dad so I unconsciously pretend Paul is mine. He always has THE BEST advice. I have harmed my friend and her son SO BADLY and am SO ASHAMED. I let my mental chatter get the better of me.
Hang in there, Queen of the Butterflies. Glad you are here at the channel.
Thank you this was very helpful for my friend and I and I will continue to use these and hopefully have less to apologize for.
Glad it was helpful! Sarah Wilson, it is great you have someone you watch with, you can be each other's accountability partners.
tonight my girlfriend went to bed upset because i was joking around with her and i made her feel like i just tolerate her and she’s a disappointment. it broke me, she’s the one person in my life who hasn’t let me down and i want her to feel like she can be herself whenever she’s around me. it really hurts to hear her say that she feels like she’s just someone to be put up with.
Always cherish those you want near.
Thank you so much this really helped me open my eyes more :) I just feel like I hurt my partner so bad I feel like she would never forgive me:(❤️😔
Man, never is a long time. I hope you can reconcile.
I'm sorry I hurt you, I said awful things and made you feel like a bad person.
That was not your fault, it was always mine.
I don't expect you to forgive me right now, if you DO decide to forgive me I'll wait for you.
Good practice, Luthien Silverlance. Honored to have you at Live ON Purpose TV.
Great video, this really helped me learn an valuable life skill. Thank you. Wish I'd known this years ago.
Glad it was helpful! James Black, when we know better, we do better.
There is this girl who I will probably not see a lot again. And I made plans to visit her at a camp. Then, I had to cancel last second, and I think it made her really sad. I am going to try and go to the camp this morning, and surprise her. Then, I'll apologise, I really hope everything will be okay!
I wish you luck, Eman Shafer. Sometimes our plans change, but you are making the effort to see her and I hope she understands.
I said things which I never intended to because of a misunderstanding, I felt abandoned. I have been apologising repeatedly and I really mean it. I really hope to be forgiven.
I hope it happens for you.
Having this exact situation right now, did you fix it?
Thankyou Sir. I followed your tips and my sweetheart forgave me straight away. In fact she was amazed with the sincerity👍
Thank you for letting me know.
Thank you so much for this video! I recently saw my friend being bullied online, but it had already gotten too far, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tend to think about someone getting bullied for up to months after it happens, even if I don’t know them. Though I wasn’t involved, I felt I had to apologize.
Brayden kelly, thank you for sharing and being sensitive to this practice that needs to stop.
Now I need a video on how to handle someone who refuses to apologise appropriately.
Flaca Diabla, I will think on this.
Wow. This is amazing 😍 I am gonna try it with my loved ones 💕💕
Thank you, Krystal Chakava. Honored that you are giving my ideas a try!
How did the apology go.
I made a mistake that really hurt him..but he chose to understand and forgave me once...now i did something like that again and now he has gotten quite rude...the fact that i repeated something that had already hurt him once is adding onto the guilt...i really don't wanna loose him. I've understood my mistake and i know i will never do it again...i really want him to forgive me this time...the fact that i messed up my second chance is hurting him even more and making him regret his decision
yashvi sinha, show him by your actions you are ready to be the partner he desires.
I almost kissed another girl while drunk at a party. I felt so guilty that I told my girlfriend, she's taking some time to herself but if she does decide to forgive me moving forward I will actively take steps to avoid being put in that situation again.
Michael DeJesus, it sounds like you are handling this correctly, good luck to you.
I had a conversation last night with my gf that she said hurt her feelings and the conversation with her was about things that she had done that had hurt my feelings. I obviously didn't want to hurt her feelings but I also knew I couldn't just keep my feelings hidden. I'm unsure of what the correct thing is to do in this type of situation? I apologized later by saying "I'm sorry if the way I presented that information hurt you. I had no ill intentions in our conversation. I love you"
Sicklepop, healthy relationships require communication and forgiveness (we all make mistakes). It sounds like you did both of those - communicated what was important to you and then apologized for the presentation. I encourage you to keep it up, and be an example of how to be mature in a relationship. Continue to be kind and loving, while also being honest.
yesterday i promised one of my closest friends that i would stay away from trouble and today as a joke i was like imma do something stupid.
she took it the wrong way, i wrote 4 paragraphs on how much i love her and she hasn’t answered seriously yet🥺
Lil Abz, thank you for watching the video - I hope it helped. In the letter you wrote, did you sincerely apologize? If so, give her some time. During that time, look for ways you can be kind to her and/or serve her. It would be even more beneficial if you did the same for others... but be authentic about it. We are trying to boost your reputation, not spoil it with fake kindness. If she still doesn't change her mind about you, use this as a learning experience moving forward. Best wishes.
Live On Purpose TV ayo bro u r the best person ever she got over it like 2 days ago and i was so happy this is all thanks to you bro
Id add, don’t apologize if you’re not ready just because « you have to » because you can’t achieve 5. You can be sincere but committing not to hurt the person again is the serious bit of an apology.
Rabiaa L, I agree.
Relatable I’m sorry Samantha ily
I hope you are able to reconcile.
I said something hurtful to my older brother. I love him so much
I hope you apologize and he forgives you.
I broke moms table and im scared since she is really strict.
Yikes, I remember a similar circumstance, Andrew Bonneau. Quick, come up with a plan of how you will make restitution for the table and apologize profusely. I am here for you.
That's really the most best way I think.
Thank you!
feels like i’ve been here before..
Jadon Jamez, thank you for watching.
Hello there Dr. Paul! Thank you for this video. Hope to hold onto the clear focus of "impact over intent", of centering on the hurt of those I have harmed rather than the blind temptations for excuses the more I learn to write better apologies as I accept my responsibility for my actions, one messy situation at a time. Even when one suffers, it does not exempt one from causing others suffering as well, human as we are, and I do not want to try to use my personal afflictions as a shield against accountability for the effects of what I have done for others whose faith in me I have caused to waiver.
Certainly it's painful when we realize how we have hurt those we love, when the effects of our actions outweigh the initial intent behind them; yet there's also the opportunity to choose to responsibly grow from these moments so that we refuse to inflict that pain once again. Praying that your tips help more people hurting and in need of healing in all sorts of ways across all sorts of moments in life. Even if it hurts, I want to do the next loving thing even if it's an apology another can choose not to accept and that's okay. One opportunity to sincerely and graciously apologize at a time.
Yes, we learn from our experiences.
What about for bigger mistakes? Also what about long distance relationships? It’s much harder to be sincere when you’re calling or messaging and not face to face.
Yeah bro... same here, but i think its to late already
Vivek Punn, You can try zoom or facetime or something like that. You can also send them something.
I have a really bad habit of not being able to keep secrets all the time, and I told 2 people one of my friends secrets and it hurt her. I have apologized but I never sound genuine and I don't know why, of course I'm working on keeping my mouth shut and it's understandable why none of my friends trust me anymore but I wanna work on earning their trust again and allowing them to see my improvement
One day at a time. Count your 24 hour victories until they add up to so much more - TRUST. It will happen.
I have a feeling that my lover is mad at me for being too hard on him when he went out of his way for me. I forget that he's busy with 2 jobs & i wana apologize to him its killing me.
Btw you have a new subscriber here. I love the video❤
Charmed Boyyy, thank you.
I hope what I learn from this video can make me a better person, i hurt someone i truly love, i messed up so bad, and i really hope that she'll forgive me, I don't know what to do because i can't reach her anymore, i really hope that the time i can reach her, i can apologize i a proper and comfortable way for her, thank you for making this video
Keep hoping and continue to work on yourself. Who knows, your paths may cross.
Thank you doctor, I need this so much. You have helped me. Thank you so much
Barthez Bartholomew, you are very welcome.
Tomorrow i'll try my best for not losing a very awesome friendship and hope he forgives me for the bad things i say to him after...Hope it turns well!
I hope so also.
Very helpful video on Saying sorry... Thank you
amazing video, one of the best that I have see, is very entertaining, I recommend it 100%
Thank you, mohana. Please recommend to anyone you think it could benefit.
Thank you so much for this video. I learned so much. I learned what it takes to make a sincere attempt to love and communicate with someone. I also learned that I am not a good enough person to do that. I think the truth is that I’m just unfit for loving. I’m too much of a coward to say I’m sorry like this. I think now I’m sure that my husband would be better off alone. Thank you.
Brita Kurowski, I do not believe you are a coward. You came here to learn how to apologize - that says something about you. Please do not give up. You ARE worth it... you ARE good enough. I believe THAT. Please reach out to someone to help you get to a better place. We have a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches - would you consider taking advantage of that? You probably can't get one of us right away, but if you are able to wait, we would love to talk things over with you. Please consider scheduling a call: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall. Best wishes.
it's been a year..
we have moments of love but there are times that she still act like it happened yesterday.
i just cried in a corner i did everything i can to show her that i changed..
i hope someday she will forgive me..
I hope so too.
I made a mistake a long time ago and I’ve changed from then and I’ve realized my mistake. They deserve an apology but what if they never want to speak to me again I’m just scared that I will loose them.
Yvonne, sometimes we have to suffer consequences for our actions. Apologize, you don't know what the outcome will be until you do so. It could work in your favor.
I accused my brother of doing something really horrible yesterday that I know I can't ever take back and things might be forever changed between us but I really want to apologize and tell him how sorry I am. Even if he had done the thing I accused him of (which it turns out he didn't), I should be there by him helping him understand and helping him to make everything better. But instead, I threw the accusations and it ended up in a screaming match. I am very stubborn person and apologizing is very hard for me to do, and I'm working on that and this is something that I really need to do.
Claire McVeigh, I hope you found the courage to apologize to your brother. You will feel so much better after it. It's great that you even looked up how to say sorry, watched this video, and admitted wrong-doing. That takes humility! Your relationship with your brother is so much more valuable than the pride of not apologizing.
I have a friend (girl) at work and her and I where really close. We've even done double dates with her husband and my wife. About 2 weeks ago I thought she was using me for other reasons I won't mention but at last had it all wrong. I was giving her the cold shoulder and not even saying hi or bye at the end of my shift. After a few attempts at trying to get my attention and asking if everything was ok, she got the drift and stopped talking to me. Now I have this big guilt that won't go away. It's eating me from the inside. I just want to apologize but im not sure how she will react now... so im nervous. She sits really close to me at work but is on another team and we are all getting relocated so she won't be close anymore. I want to apologize before this happens since I won't have her close anymore.
metalslug26, sounds like there is no time to waste. People prefer honesty. Tell her you messed up and ask for forgiveness.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Just a quick update. I apologized about more than a week ago and she forgave me. She was up front and told me that it really hurt her since she didn't know what she did wrong. That made me feel like a total jerk. We are back to being friends once again but I know it will always linger what I did to her but I hope that one day she could totally forgive me. Thank you for the help!! I feel like all this heavy negatively has been lifted off of me and I can move on with my life and being friends with her once again.
I messed up and i keep begging for him to give me a chance to change. I am dissapointed about myself for acting stupid and crazy. But he broke up with me. And now i cannot fix the things that I've done. I blew it all! I am so heartbroken and dissapointed about myself right now. 😢
Bella Kim, learn what you can from the breakup so it doesn't happen again.
Exactly 💔
@@LiveOnPurposeTV exactly. Can't do anything now. Just forgive myself and learn from it.
I just was never really taught how to apologize. I feel like my relationship with my parents is kind of iffy. They guilt trip and belittle me a lot and yesterday was kind of a breaking point and I said something that offended my mom. Because my relationship with her just doesn't feel right, I'm uncomfortable being around or talking to her and something is holding me back from apologizing. it makes me wonder if I have too much pride but idk because I just have really low self esteem.
Black Willow, just give it a try, you won't know how healing it can be until you do it.
i messed up by getting mad at my mom and broke something. i really hope that my apology works and that she can understand that I didn't meant to hurt her. she must be so disappointed but im gonna try my best to ensure that she's not disappointed ever again. :(
Sounds like you are taking ownership and learning from the situation. Your mother should be happy with the lessons you are learning.
The best apology is no apology. Just straight out admit what you had to lose & say 'thank you' to that person for having given you a chance at love when no one else did. And lastly, walk on.
Understand that once you have hurt someone who loved you for who you are in a world where most merely like you for what you have, that person requires your absence now. Getting back together out of regret shows that you do not shoulder your own wrongdoings & instead, are more concerned with your regret than empathising with the other person's pain. Getting back together is akin to your acting like as if you did no wrong to begin with. And that is just adding more insult to that person's already devalued opinions of you.
Regret & shame are all that the ungrateful are worthy of. And I carry it with me to this day, alone. Some may say that no one deserves to feel that low in life but I say, remember. You hurt someone who loved you. And got away with it. That is injustice at it's worst. Injustice against that person, as well as your own self... for having never learnt the true meaning of love: compassion & patience.
Thank you for watching and commenting.
My girlfriend comes from a rough family. She’s currently on a choices for youth program and is living in her own apartment (I’m 18, she’s 17). She believes me and my family want her to change herself because she was raised in a abusive household and her personality sometimes reflects that (not in a abusive way but but in a tough way). She also fears my family doesn’t like her and they don’t want me near a bad influence. We had a talk about this about a week ago and I promised to be more mindful about how she felt about the subject and to not say anything that would give the idea that I didn’t like that side of her (which started the fight/talk). I just went back on my promise, saying something like what I just described, and now is very angry with me. It was not my intention to make her feel like this but what matters is that it made her feel sad and insecure. I love this girl with all my heart and I want to make this right. I fear this is impossible to make better because I failed to deliver my promise. Please reply when you can for advice
Ben Tilley, we are all human and make mistakes. What is important in a relationship is acknowledging the mistake and seeking to find a way to not do that again. It might be more about how you communicate with one another. If she can tell you how things you say make her feel, you can learn how to communicate. Hopefully she is in some type of counseling and perhaps you could join her in that to learn to communicate.
What can I do when I'm constantly hurting my partner because of my mental illness? I dont want to hurt him but it just happens and it happens so often, that I just dont know how to apologize anymore. Pls help :/
Hebi Chan, what are you doing about the problem? Show them you are sorry by taking the steps necessary to act differently.
Stop making excuses!!
So my girlfriend and I have got in a fight.. I teased her a bit and she cussed me out, I overreacted by backfiring against her cussing me out... Causing her to possibly be done with me. I learned that 2 wrongs do not make a right. I really hope she forgives me, she is the love of my life and we are getting everything set out for us. 😞
Chazz Hitt, sounds like you both need to learn to communicate better. If she forgives you now, get some help to learn to communicate what you are feeling so you can make the relationship stronger.
I wish I looked this up a week ago. Lost a long term friend and I didn’t know how to apologize
Tulop, thank you for watching. It's been a few days... do you think you can take the principles you learned in this video and try to apologize to your friend? We've had some people on the channel express a similar situation, and then they find a way to apologize and are able to gain the friendship back. I encourage you to try.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I feel like I ruined it far more then possible. Thank you for your concern >-
@@tulip5210 You never do know for sure until you try apologizing. If it doesn't work out for you, the best you can do with this experience is learn from it and move forward. Best wishes.
Live On Purpose TV thank you
i’ve hurt my boyfriend numerous times and he’s been giving me so many chances but now i’ve just lost his trust, hurt him so much that he wants to end our relationship. i genuinely do love him and i want him to stay :((
I hope you are able to apologize and act differently.
Me rn:(
@@nalanniahj1201 we’re back haha, just know things will be alright if both of you love each other! 🥰
I hurted this person i care about. He wws the true friend i and my attitude hurted him. He now hates me
Hamza Saleem, so sorry this happened. I hope your friend forgives you. Learn from what happened.
😭😭I messed up and I want this person back 😭😭
I hope it works out for you, Anitah.
This is the 3rd time I've seriously hurt my sister. She is mentally unstable and I really don't want to hurt her but I keep doing it. She loves me alot and I'm scared she'll stop caring. She probably hates my guts right now and I don't know how to make it up to her, it's hard to live with the guilt. I really love her but don't know how to apologise and show her that I care and am there for her. I messed up really bad this time.
You're my yellow, since it is the third time you may need some outside help. www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
I put my hands on my ex .... The first time I did it she thanked me, she was so lost and I was too and I was fresh from getting knocked out everyday at my dad's ... What hurts the most is she didn't leave she left when I cheated that's what broke her heart ...I only did it because she wouldn't see me, I'm in such a better place now within my own life and I always think about her
Thank you for sharing.
She's leaving but I would like to write her an apology letter, I've already said it, however, I can express myself better on paper. Will a letter help?
Thank you for watching, Eric Jones. A letter may help; many people are like you and express themselves better when they can think about what they want to say as they write it out. Just remember that you cannot control her, only influence. If there is any way to show your sincerity by physically doing something (like small acts of service), I would strongly recommend doing that. For more ideas, you might want to check out our "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg
Thank you for your video. It was illuminating and I really liked it (right from Italy XD)
Still, even if you use your suggestion (that are fantastic, btw), there's still that person that will respond with " I don't give a f**k about your excuses. Excuses don't repair stuff\fill the bills\extingush debts\make any useful practical help".
So, the main ingredient for this wonderful cake that we call "saying sorry to the loved one" is that the loved one is more interested in loving you and listening than recriminate stuff and be on its position
88Kinshin, thank you for your comment.
I wish this person and her husband knows how much I love and miss then. I'll never forget the conversation the husband had with me. As he drove me home he said. Now you know if you stay here on your own you won't make it. You should think about moving with us. We got you!!
But that never happen. Things out of my control allowed them to belive I stole from them. I did not.
But that put a dent in our friendship. The one true friendship I had in life I messed it up. I miss them so much. Like the best couple ever!!! Smart.. Gamers.. Kind... Goofy.. Intelligent.. Did I say smart.. I pray and cry everyday to take the pain of not having them in my life. Look we are humans and we are not meant to be alone. God please touch their souls and let them know I love them. I've never stopped.
Silas Napier, I hope the message gets through to them.