I'm asexual agender, ADHD and suspected autism, and for me, gender is just another social construct I don't understand. Why do people think genitals should dictate what you wear, is the same kind of question in my mind, as why do I have to shake someone's hand as a greeting.
I have been diagnosed at an extremely young age with autism. And because of that growing up surrounded by neurotypicals was incredibly rough. And being a closted asexual has been tough. I just wish I knew about my queerness sooner and that I wish I had an irl support system.
Asexual isn't being queer, it makes perfect since growing up as autistic people like myself are more attached to people, and aren't going around getting laid.
@@davegity8796 yes it is. Being queer is a very broad spectrum and doesn't only consist of allosexuals .The very definition of queer is being outside of heternormative bubble. I would very much consider my upbringing very queer. Knowing exactly that I wasn't straight, or bi, but something else entirely. It wasn't until the end of high-school until I discovered I was asexual. And I think you mix up being neurodivergent and being allosexual. You can be neurodivergent and allosexual or not. I just happen to be asexual and neurodivergent therefore I also consider my self queer. I am queer because of my asexual identity, and became of so much more that I like to keep to myself. Hopefully this made sense if not idk what to tell you.
@@davegity8796 ok I think I myself complicated what I was trying to say. Being neurodivergent doesn't make someone automatically not allosexual. Some people are either allosexual or not whether they are neurodivergent or neurotypical. Also talking about asexuality in itself is a very broad spectrum. Being queer is also a spectrum. I thought you would have watched this creator's videos but apparently not.
I’m a pansexual woman, adhd and suspecting autism as well. Sometimes I wonder if everyone is really as straight as they pretend to be. I have some nt friends who are just as enamored with same sex people as I am but they usually are ignoring that side of themselves. My impulsivity definitely made it a lot harder to downplay my emotions as much as nt people can. There were many societies in the past were sexual orientation wasn’t even a concept including hetero orientation. I feel like heteronormativity ( especially since everything else was outlawed and punished in Europe for centuries) could be strong enough as to gaslight a majority of the population. I know that’s a bold statement but with a bigger percentage of people identifying as queer every generation we’ll see how far that “trend “ goes. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’d come to a place in a hundred years maybe were 50% of people identified as somewhat queer.
I'm queer(aro/ace squad) and have SCD(social communication disorder) which for those who don't know (I didn't know this existed until I was diagnosed) is something like autism but only the social difficulty parts *for the algorithm!!!
Thanks for the algorithm boost, haha! Yeah, I actually have heard of SCD, as someone who has obsessively examined the diagnostic criteria for ASD, it is mentioned as an alternative when someone doesn’t meet the requirement for repetitive behaviours. In any case, you sound like part of the gang!
Hi! I just found this video and had to subscribe! My firstborn is on the autism spectrum. They are also on the asexual spectrum, trans and non-binary. I'm on the autism spectrum, too, though not yet diagnosed. And I recently realized that I'm bi. Thank you for sharing this important information! 🙏❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I have Asperger's (& maybe ADHD), I'm a bisexual demigirl. I feel girly and womanly most of the time, but few times a month, I feel like a guy, other times, in between categories. Btw, I love your hair color!:)
im queer and maybe autistic (apparantly i "dont meat the criteria" or whatever but from my own research i think i am for a number of reasons). i think the experience of gender and sexuality is different in autistic people in general, so even a "cis" autistic person might see and feel their gender in a radically differant way to a cis allistic person. Also I've heard that autistic minds vary between each other a lot too, so 2 cis autistic people might also have a very different gender experience. The gender binary isn't adequate to describe gender even for allistics, but i think it fails especially in relation to autistic people for this reason.
As a Cishet man with Autism. It really makes me happy how close both the communities are and how many members are apart of both. In addition it makes me happy that there are neurotypical LGBT members that are allies to us people of the Autism community just like how I and many others are allies to the LGBT community. No matter the Homophobia and no matter the ablism. I know we both have each other’s backs
I'm not autistic, but I am (I think) ace! I was curious about this topic because I've heard some stuff about this, but it's really cool to hear more about, especially with actual stats and papers I can go read later! As a psychology major and potential future researcher, this makes me super happy in more ways than one :) Plus hearing your perspective is really helpful. I'm also possibly going to be a doctor one day, so especially stuff doctor-related is nice.
I am so happy to see this being discussed in such a positive manner because you know that some people are gonna flip it on it's head and badmouth both of the communities. Seeing such a positive take is refreshing
Wow! This video is fantastically done. I'm one of the 30% of autistics who are cis/het, but I knew about this statistic and I think it is fascinating. I didn't know that there were this many peer reviewed studies confirming what I had previously only heard about from self advocates' survey data, and that's really good to hear. I've been building a playlist of autistic creators talking about autism since I was diagnosed and I'm stoked to add this video to it. Side note: I'm in the process of unmasking my wardrobe. Your outfit is awesome.
Thank you so much! Maybe I’m not used to being a RUclipsr yet, but I’m freaking out a little because I, too, am making those same playlists, and it’s crazy to hear that I’m on someone else’s. It feels really special, so thanks. ❤️❤️❤️
I wonder if the numbers are truly acurate. I would speculate that more ASD people are open about their queerness than neurotypical people. One of the atributes of autism is a lack of, or more accurately, a different style of, social skill. This often manifests as giving far less of a **** what other people think. This may free ASD folk up to be more open about their identity. This may have also lead to ASD culture itself (especially online) being more accepting of queerness (with exceptions). I think this point stood out when you said "why should autistic people have to comfortm neurotypically?" So true. Autistic people may simply have less trouble bucking gender norms due to differntly functioning brains. It also showed a NT tendendy to cling to gender norms and try to enforce them when it isn't necessary. I must add that, although I am not neurotypical (I have ADHD) I am not ASD myself. As such, my opinion is as an outsider so feel free correct me if I'm wrong here. As I say, this is purely specuilation, I wouldn't even call it strong enough to be a hypothesis at this point. It will be interesting to see if the queer figures in NTs starts to align more closely with ASD numbers as openess increases. Full disclosure, I am a cisgender, heterosexual ,white male in my 40s. I am doing everything I can to educate myself about gender and queerness because I hate that my demographic is so often, to put it bluntly, the worst. Sorry for a long rambling post but, hell, I have ADHD, it's what we do. I would love to hear what other people think of my ideas and even have them torn apart.
I love this speculation, and especially your transparency about your perspective! I think that is a possibility for sure. (By the way, I just find this interesting, so note that I am definitely not arguing with you, just doing some speculation of my own, haha). I think it’s also possible that many higher-masking individuals would have more difficulty in expressing their authentic identity due to the trauma born of having been bullied/ criticized/ abused, etc for being themselves in the autistic sense. This could even be true of lower-masking individuals, too. When the world doesn’t accept you, and you’re forced to fit in, I can see this as a possibility. And maybe both of our theories hold some merit and balance each other out, who knows? Thanks for the comment, I appreciate how respectfully you approached it. ❤️
@@SpaceyAces My pleasure, it's always interesting to speculate. Your point seems totally valid too. We just have to wait for the scientists and researchers to do the work and hopefully for culture to keep on changing for the better.
Just want to say to all my fellow autistic lgbtq+ people that if anyone uses "you only feel that because of autism" to invalidate you they are wrong. Being autistic causes you to experience the world differently, be a different person, and have different feelings about things. Chances are, your personality, interests, friends, skills, difficulties, etc. are all affected or possibly due to your autism. To put simply, for many of us, we are who we are due to autism, due to how our autism is a part of who we are. If someone uses that to invalidate you it's clear they don't see autistic people as valid, and capable of making their own descisions, they were most likely very misinformed or just hateful. So just keep in mind that if someone uses autism to invalidate you, they have no clue what they are talkig about.
Yes I'm queer, non binary, bi and autistic, bipolar and I have adhd. My partner ( assigned male) and autistic with adhd is also non binary. All autistic friends I have are queer, gay, non binary or trans.
I seem pretty similar to a lot of folks commenting. I am queer/poly/enby and asexual, as weird as that combo sounds. I have ADHD myself, and score high for autism, and might actually be. Of my demisexual / platonic romantic experiences, I noticed that nearly all of my queer/trans partners are neurodiverse, either ADHD/Autism or both. Granted I tend to pursue romance with primary neurodiverse folks. Not intentionally, I just don't click with neurotypical people. I also have a TBI, and everyone is different but. My asexuality varies, as does my fluidity, though it does have a general upper and lower sorta limit. So yeah, what I'm saying is my experiences with others in close relationships have been almost exclusively of neurodiverse trans/queer/enby. I can't actually recall any that weren't, and one who didn't know she had it when we dated was diagnosed due to her child. So there is literally Zero I can clearly remember.
I'm autistic (undiagnosed because I'm poor :"3) and I'm an aromantic, demisexual, bisexual, poly trans guy so I've always had trouble navigating my gender identity and sexuality because of how it didn't fit everyone else's ideas of how relationships are "supposed to be" and how autistic people can't possibly be queer. I finally found out I was trans when I turned 18. I took so long to realize because everyone kept telling me I was just a masculine girl and I believed them since I didn't have the standard "I want to be as male as I possibly can and fully transition" experience most trans guys have. I also found out I was bi when I was like 13 and demisexual when I was like 16 but I never fully realized I was aromantic until yesterday, when my best friend and I decided being a couple just wasn't our thing after three years of being together. We still have the same relationship, we just don't try to force ourselves into romance for each other anymore, though we still feel sensual and sexual attraction towards each other and other people. We're a kind of weird mix between a queer platonic relationship and friends with benefits but we're happy like this and that's all that matters :3 So... Yeah it's been kinda confusing and neurotypicals don't make things any easier with their unnecessary rules and social constructs that only make me even more confused, but I think I'm much more comfortable this way.
I am an autistic male and my partner is a male to female trans. We meet 15 years ago, I was working at a used book store while in college, she was a frequent customer who would come in a lot. I had dated cis gender women before, but felt maybe there was more to dating then this. I could ramble about a bunch of other details. I like this channel, if anyone has questions , go ahead and ask, I try to reply to messages about once a day
This was such a comfort to watch! I can’t afford an autism evaluation yet (and now with the DSM-5 restrictions, I wonder if I’d even get diagnosed anyway), but hearing that there is a definite link between my queerness and my autistic traits is so incredibly validating! Seeing this, and seeing all these comments makes me feel less alone in my experiences - there are so many more of us than I ever would have thought, it’s wonderful!! Thank you so much for making this video, and happy ND Celebration Week, everyone!!
I'm Autistic. And I'm also part of this statistical tendency. I'm also Bisexua/Pansexual and a Trans Woman. I feel an odd sense of peace in knowing how not alone I am. Especially where people have been telling me my whole live I'm wrong to not be straight and not taking my gender dysphoria seriously. People are so sure that we choose to be not straight/heterosexual, or attention seeking or being "sinful" as a choice, or that our gender is made up "paraphilia" or confusion and something that we surely couldn't just be naturally. And yet right there we have an overlap with being Autistic and being LGBT. How fitting that nobody obviously chooses to be Autistic, that also overlaps with something we also don't choose, being queer. It's a good reminder how you can just be different and it not be a choice. I didn't choose to be Autistic, but I also didn't choose to be Pansexual/Bisexual or Transgender. I don't know why they're correlated. But it's clear that they are. And none of these are things we chose to be. In an odd sense, I feel at ease knowing that it's no surprise that an Autistic person like also ended up Trans and Pansexual. That I'm not crazy, this is just part of the the Autistic experience. It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It allows me to throw off all the labels that have been thrown at me since I was a child, f-slurs, t-slurs, groomer, narcissist, entitled, pervert, and all the other nasty things that people say who hate us. And get back to something I know I am, not a disparaging term. I am Autistic. This is Autism. I'm not a bad person, I was just born Autistic, and Autism is apparently pretty Queer.
I once had a friend who is autistic and, in hindsight, I'm pretty sure she is on the a-spectrum. Unfortunately, we have lost contact. I myself am aro ace and another friend of mine is dyslexic and probably straight. So yeah, this comment doesn't really have a point. Great video btw!
I had for a while noticed that a lot of autistic people were queer and that a lot of queer people were autistic so it's interesting to see that there is very likely an actual link. I myself am queer (aroace and agender because to me sexuality, romance, and gender do not make sense when applied to me or just generally) and am suspecting autistic also (my therapist also thinks that I am potentially autistic). Interesting connection and good video.
I wasn't diagnosed as autistic till I was around 32 but I have always been ace. I was born male and identify male but I do sometimes wear clothing of the female variety because of how the fabric feels.
Okay, I know, I am late on this video, but today I watched it the first time (I should done it earlier) I am an Asperger Autism, who was diagnozised with 9 Years, and I am queer. And I was so happy as I heard that so many autistics are queer. I had First Time a real feeling Like "oh wow, this people are Like me"🥹
Having been diagnosed with autism before I became a teenager, it was too easy to just brush off my lack of desire to date anyone as social anxiety or just that my brain would develop those wants later on and I wasn't ready yet. So it took until about halfway through uni, and the amount of time most of us got for self-reflection during 2020, for me to learn about the LGBTQ+ community and that I'm aroace. As for gender, I found the whole thing very confusing and it took me a long time to learn to be more accepting of others, because I simply couldn't understand what the fuss was about. For a while I started to wonder if my lack of caring about it meant I could be agender as well, but I think that I am most likely cisgender. I'm comfortable being a woman and I don't resonate with what I've heard about agender and NB experiences in the same way that I do for being aro and ace. Plus tbh I feel that my gender identity is just one small part of my full identity, and I have other things to think about that are much more worth the effort.
im an autistic gay man ive noticed the huge overlap most of my friends are also queer and autistic and even my boyfriend is queer and autistic edit; im also a trans man (FTM) and i was diagnosed with autism at 8 came out as trans publicly at 13 and alot of my queer autistic friends are also trans :)
hullo! i'm a fellow queer on the spectrum and i wanna say thank you for bringing this connection up, especially the one regarding gender i have a cishet friend on the spectrum that has been through the questioning experience towards both gender and sexuality, only because norms don't make sense in his head as being an unquestionable rule. turns out he's a part of the 30% percent, and even so, he still went through the questioning part about himself also, a quick sidenote (i hope that doesn't bother you!!! i'm trying my best to give you constructive criticism waaa) your audio is a bit too low and that bothered my audio processing issues :/ if the problem is your equipment, i would like to help you and donate!!! do u have any links i can go to?
Over the past few years I have begun to see more and more the intersection of autism and neurodivergence with queerness. 5 of my best friends being neurodivergence and queer, with two of them and an ex-partner of mine being autistic and genderqueer specifically. Its so awesome to see a video about this topic presented in such thoughtful way, thank you for putting this out into the internet.
Hi ! I am high intellectual potential and hypersensible (I don’t know if being HIP is seen as a neurodiversity) and queer myself (ace, probably aro) and I have noticed that my neurodivergent friends were often queer too. Maybe it can also explain why we can relate more with queer people if we have a neurological fonctionnement that is similar in some point (at least closer than with neurotypicals) Thanks for the video ! Very interesting
I'm queer (bi/Demi) and autistic. I have a friend who is pan/Demi and testing to see if she's autistic. And my bff is ace and autistic. I started wondering when I found all this stuff out of if there was some sort of connection, or if there was a high percentage in the autistic spectrum being LGBTQ+. Now I know xD Thanks for the video!
I'm an asexual enby (afab) and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since I was 16. I'm suspecting autism might be a thing for me, it certainly runs in my maternal family alongside bipolar disorder. Having been raised with my more neurotypical paternal family I have always found it incredibly hard to find my way. I realized my queerness very early on in life and most of my friends have clocked me as autistic (many of these friends were diagnosed with autism themselves or, like my partner, had close family with autism). Just my parents seem to deny it, and naturally, so did I for a very long time. It's encouraging to hear about this link. Certainly feels like I'm less alone. Gender, sexuality, and so many everyday social constructs baffle me. Glad there might be a community out there with similar experiences! I just wish I would've had this information earlier in life. It's made my social life a lot easier in a variety of ways.
From what I read about bipolar depression, it usually is onset around age 20+ (although it can be disgnosed younger whereas autism doesn’t have an onset. Both can be present but I also know they can be mistaken for eachother.
I am always confused about what gender feels like. I know I always hated gender roles because I did not understand them. Why should someone with certain genitals be more into drawing? I did not get the connection. That was the reason I was „more like a boy“ as a child as an afab. But I also liked how dresses feel ( more comfortable than jeans). I suppressed this for a long time because somehow I wanted to be a „complete“ tomboy. But I never felt body dysphoria (maybe 1-2 years in puberty). Now identifying as autist (not diagnosed) and bisexual (demisexual, mostly I shudder when I try to imagine touching someone, even to shake hands is difficult, but I like sex with my husband and, at least mostly, cuddling with my little kids) I live a pretty „normal“ Cis life but still do not understand how „being a woman“ (or a man) should FEEL like. Is gender really more than a social construct? Is it just feeling good and aware about your body in terms of your sex? That’s the reason I follow a lot of trans people on RUclips. They try to figure out what is „normal“ to most people - not to me. PS. English is not my first language and it is difficult to explain these complex things, sorry if I use wrong words or something.
Hi, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you guys. I began to identify as asexual (aegosexual to be specific) about a year ago, and thanks to this video I got a hint that I might be autistic (I'm a girl, so the general symptoms were different/not so obvious, but I've always felt there was something different about me). Now I'm thinking about professional assessment :) Thank you so much!
The last point really struck me because as a little kid and even sometimes now I was always hyper-feminine but honestly I never saw it as that, I thought I dressed like a boy because I had the elements of what boys wore but I just wore it in bright colors which automatically made it girly I guess. I have no clue if I have autism, but I suspect I do or some other neurodivergence. But anyway this video was awesome! 🤙🏼
I haven't been diagnosed with autism or anything but tics but apparently my father knew I may have autism and perhaps other things (he knew cause in his first marriage he had a son with Asperger's/autism and I guess I show traits that he did, my dad also has bipolar disorder and ocd) but never tried to get me in but now he is. I am a neurodivergent queer, specifically lesbian and non-binary. (edited because im now confirmed not autistic)
hm. I am currently going through a autism diagnosis (I am not officially diagnosed yet). tbh I feel like gender and sexuality play a less important role in my life than in the life of a lot of other people around me. I am me, I was identified female at birth and I am biologically female...but if I weren't I don't think except from the obvious biological difference it wouldn't have made me a different person. I am...just me. I like painting and singing and plants and my family and friends and somehow all this stuff is more important about who I am as a person than my gender or biological stuff. I am fine with what I got at birth...I don't have disphoria about it...but if it were different, it also wouldn't make much of a difference for me...though I'd have been raised in a different way probably...so maybe the female socialisation compared to being raise as a boy would have made a little difference. Maybe it is because my interest in people is in a more distanced way than others...I don't identify as asexual per se...I just think other things are more important. maybe demi is the thing...just that I have a hard time relating to people in general...and you know...sensory issues make physical contact a difficult subject. I do agree that due to the fact that we (I still can self-diagnose if I don't have official paper yet, can I) maybe are more willing to show ourself truly when we're qu33r, because maybe sometimes we can't mask another thing about us or because we're already different anyway...or because hetero and cis normativity just doesn't make sense logically. It seems much more logical to me that people are different and want to express, live and love in different ways.
also if you're not good at noticing that you're not conforming to some weird social norm, you are probably also more like to just go by what seems to make sense to you...I dunno...
I feel the same way about my gender. I don't really care about all the annoying stereotypes around gender and never really thought about it too much. At the end of the day it's all okay as long as you are yourself and don't try to force being anybody else. ^^
@@Evelilu I agree in some way. When my friend came out as trans and he told me about his gender disphoria that prompted me to think about it and how odd it seemed to me that other people care so much about their gender/biological sex. I don't mean that in a "that's wrong" way... just that it never really seemed that important to me personally. So I thought about it pretty intensely (which is basically the only way for me to think about something really) for a few days ...and thought I was weird because I didn't really care about it...and maybe I am, but it works for me so who cares. I do agree though...as long as whatever you do is working for you and you're not hurting anyone (without informed consent) I neither care what's in your panties nor what you do in your bedroom or who and how you love.
I'd personally count myself to those 30% even though jaiden's recent video about being aro basically described me. Even as an arrowhead (which is completely valid and nobody has ever told me otherwise), I'd still say that "straight" describes me better than "queer" because like, i'm still attracted to women and not to men still makes me part of lgbt+ tho ig. not something i'm disphoric about, why would i be
I can understand where you're coming from, but you'll still be accepted into the LGBTQ group because being aromantic heterosexual is just as LGBTQ as being biromantic heterosexual, homoromantic heterosexual, etc. I get how you feel about it, though.
It seems ADHD'ers are equally qu33r. Anecdotally, as someone heavily involved in especially ace and trans communities, to me this seems undeniable. I also know that the ace community survey shows us that more aces are ADHD than autistic. Also when you do videos like these, I think it would help your channel to instruct people to avoid the word qu33r in their comments or at least to misspell it because RUclips often automatically deletes comments with that word in it, so that's going to reduce your video's engagement. And it also sucks that you can't read their comments then.
idk if i am?? im confident on my gender and sexuality at this point, those being mainly paragirl and gray-omnisexual, but a year ago i was pretty into adhd spaces online and related to people a lot. i haven't been active in a while and i kind of completely forget what it was about. i feel like symptoms i have can fall into depression or anxiety somehow, which i have been diagnosed with. when i really wanted to get screened it was like talking to a wall when i spoke to my parents, therapist or psychiatrist. i would tell them over and over again and nothing ever came of it. it was incredibly frustrating because for years my mom has been gaslighting me about various really important things to me, which has caused me to be really prone to feeling like im insane or dont have a human brain or AM NOT human and things like that. it's hard to explain but its really distressing. so now whenever i tell someone something and they forget it or the topic somehow disappears over time and i remind them and they dont remember i immediately go into anxiety attack mode. all of that just makes it hard to think about, and i dont feel like its worth it anyways
I am a nonbinary man and queer and in the ace/aro spectrum, I am also autistic. I have noticed that all my identities seem linked together. Example; is my touch aversion because I am dysphoric or because I am autistic or does it have to do with me being acespec? Or is it a mixture of all three plus more things I haven't even considered? Is my attraction directly influenced by being autistic and trans? Who knows? But it doesn't really matter, because they all overlap to make the entity that is me.
@@SpaceyAces I think it’s mostly just stimming haha just like, everything you do with your hands or how you emphasize specific words is rly similar if not the exact same way I’d say it. I might be more energetic with how I emphasize words with my body language but ur way is good too. Idk if you did this on purpose but you kept movements slow, voice gentle, and a ton of the colors are muted/pastel like u made this video calm in as many ways as possible haha I’m way over analyzing but, so is the way of our condition lol. I also have blue hair with green bangs, wire glasses and funky earrings lol so that’s a funny coincidence.
I want to listen to this so much but it's so hard with the background sounds & it disrupts my ability to focus. If you can please fix this 🙏😔 it sounds so interesting the few snippets i can hear
I'm Autistic, and I can already see that it is probably pointless posting here. Because despite my legitimate concern for others on the Spectrum, clearly based upon the channel prompt before commenting and how that typically goes, so much for my perspective on this topic being accepted. Because if this comment isn't deleted outright, even a video a year old can see newer comments get loads of comments, and in my case those comments would most likely be............hostile. Which just saddens me all the more, as there is a serious and frankly insidious problem affecting the Autistic community, and I feel like it will fall on deaf ears around here.
@jessicab831 Well, since nobody apparently seemed to connect the dots............ I'll be blunt. It is very clear that Autistic people are being taken advantage of and manipulated into believing that they're queer/etc. Whether we like to admit it or not, we as a whole are extremely inclined to being easy to trick due to not getting social cues. That, paired with a need to feel like we belong and not being an outlier, plus with what a disturbing amount of teachers are being found to be teaching in schools nowadays, and it becomes even more obvious once seen. The word tends to get comments deleted, but simply put, it's flat-out "brooming" (substitute the 'b' for a 'g'). Which fundamentally does not help the bevy of issues that we already in general have to deal with, in fact compounding it by several orders of magnitude. When I was in Kindergarten, I acted like a puppy. Not because I believed that I was one, but because 101 Dalmatians was my favorite movie at the time. If I was in Kindergarten today, they would unironically be teaching me that I actually am a dog, like with how many schools now are getting caught encouraging kids thinking that they're actually cats, even to the point where they've installed actual litter boxes. It's madness, and it's abuse. And it's painful to see that bringing these serious issues to light is apparently not the goal of many who speak up about the Autistic Spectrum. Inadvertent or not, it unfortunately does not matter, this is enabling this to continue.
When you use the word queer do you refer to all the LGBT community. Or have you thought that there are some of us who prefer gay or lesbian etc. it’s a spectrum
I typically use queer as a shorthand/ umbrella for LGBTQIA+, but of course not everyone prefers to! In daily use (i.e. talking to/about someone) of course I would use their preferred titles/ descriptors. 💖
The link is with Autism and a vague sense of self and inability to feel social norms. This leads to what you refer to as "queerness" but that is not based in truth but a way you've chosen to interpret it. And yes, I am Autistic. I'm a woman who dresses in men's clothing just because that is what I find comfortable, I wear no makeup and have short hair or am bald. I'm not non-binary, trans, queer or what have you. I'm just a woman who prefer to look this way and that's okay.
Absolutely that’s okay! And I’m sure it’s a very common experience among autistics. And it is true that due to accompanying alexithymia, we may have a vague sense of self or identity, and obviously missing out on social norms is part of being autistic. If it wasn’t clear, when I refer to queerness, I am referring specifically to LGBTQ2AI+ folk, those who experience a gender other than that assigned at birth, and people who identify as anything other than straight or heterosexual. You are expressedly not part of this demographic, and that’s awesome. But many of us are! Being queer and being gender non-conforming are different, and this video is about the former. Keep in mind that for the most part, these studies are self-reported autistic people specifying their queer identities, so those like yourself would fall into a cishet category and not make up the queer statistic.
@@SpaceyAces I know what you mean but I still think it's a skewed way to think of it. Practically I am no different from those that identify as nonbinay/trans, the only difference is that I don't believe that my preferences dictate my gender. So if you take away the ideology you are left with the facts that we struggle with identity, social norms and sekzuality.
@@sanz7820 Except you are different. If you’re trans/ nonbinary, you’re trans/nonbinary, if you’re not, you’re not. We don’t look one particular way on the outside, and it’s not about behaviour. It’s about gender identity. Most trans people will inform you that our preferences don’t dictate our gender - our gender identity does. And none of this takes away from the idea that as autistic people, we may also struggle with identity, social norms, and sexuality. They are related, but nonetheless different phenomena.
@@SpaceyAces I'm not different, I'm exactly the same except that I don't believe in the ideology. At any moment I could decide to give in to these ideas and say that I am nonbinary or trans and my looks, history, thought process would be a perfect representation of it. The difference is only in the belief that gender identity is a thing, nothing else.
Yeah this is just transphobia again:( I am so sad they found this channel.. (ps it doesn't matter how you respond to this comment bc I'm not going to have a discussion with a transpose)
Thanks for your comment! I'm curious, though, why someone would have qualms with the word "disability"? Autism is a developmental disability, and the only reason I can see autistic people having negative feelings toward it is due to the surrounding stigma born of ableism. Disability isn't a bad word, nor should we perceive it as limiting, but rather a neutral and factual descriptor.
@@SpaceyAces I used to really dislike the word 'disability' (or rather the Dutch equivalent) because I didn't feel like my autism was 'hindering' me in any way. I was like 'well, my brain's just wired a different way, there is nothing 'missing' from me' like you wouldn't call queer people disabled even though they too deviate from the 'norm'. However now that I am older and am actually running into issues where my autism is affecting my everyday life much more I think it's okay to call it a disability because it does hinder me and it does affect me and it does make me unable to do things that normal people can. I still feel a bit weird about it but I guess that's just the ableism as you say. Sorry for the long comment, hope it boosts your engagement;)
@@SpaceyAces Some people feel sensitive to the term "disability" because it's been associated with a negative stigma as well as that some see autism as only a difference and not a limit in their ability. Reasons as they are, it's impossible to be sensitive to every term and their changing appropriateness. The fact that this video is being made at all is proof enough, the use of autism as a disability is not used with poor intent, but with general referral. Thank you SPACEY ACES for the informational video and aesthetic joy.
@@SpaceyAces I know this is very late, but I wanted to say thank you for giving me a different perspective on the word! My reasons were pretty much summed up by the other two replies to my comment, I hadn't really thought of disability as a neutral and factual descriptor before :)
I don't mean to be rude...but a lot of these comments seem to be self diagnosing which is kind of a problem. I understand having social issues but to chalk them up to "I have symptoms but haven't been diagnosed or have been told I'm not qualified as autistic by professionals but I feel I do." Is kind of a problematic view to just give yourself something. It's not a cute thing to have when it actually effects peoples lives in certain ways. So to claim to have it without any diagnosis is romanticizing it in an unhealthy way. I don't think people diagnosed with autism should be ashamed and hide it or even just not talk about it I feel they should handle it however that person sees fit. But the undiagnosed people saying they have it and making it romanticized is a growing issue.
Self-diagnosis is widely accepted in the autistic community! I could probably make a video on it alone, actually. In (very) short, I just want to say that you never know how much someone is impacted by their autistic traits, so you can never assume that those you seem to be targeting are not incredibly affected. And, in truth, traits may be more or less disabling depending on who you are and your life situation. There are countless reasons for not even wanting to seek a professional diagnosis (some common examples being that it can be used against you in court, and you cannot foster children), and you never know someone else's experiences. Autistic people know themselves better than anyone else, so it's not your place to comment.
@@SpaceyAces You wouldn't sit in front of a Dr and tell them you know you have a certain disease or issue with your body and then when tested and it comes back negative say "No I have it and I know I do." Now there are times slip under the wire and cases like this happen but professionals study in these fields for a reason to help people with this. The same being with with neurological issues. Yes some cases will slide under the wire but with how rapidly people are claiming things like autism, did, adhd, it's all so romanticized more and more. I'm more than happy for people to be open about what they have and not make it stigmatized but by saying you have something without a proper diagnosis creates a bigger stigma around it. I'm for people researching and seeing similarities and getting a diagnosis but self diagnosis create a problem in neurological care. If I were to say right now "I have social issues so I have autism so you can't tell me it's not my place to comment cause I have diagnosed myself and you can't say I don't have it otherwise your no better than I." Will you tell me I don't have it? Cause if I don't need a Dr to diagnosis me then I should be allowed to diagnosis myself. You don't have a place to tell me no I don't have autism even if you feel I don't you can't say I don't cause I feel I do despite not having a professional diagnosis me. I'm not mocking autistic people or even people self diagnosing but those that self diagnose are very much romanticizing it.
![KAYTRANADA - Witchy (feat. Childish Gambino) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jGK3YVmGZ3Y/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm asexual agender, ADHD and suspected autism, and for me, gender is just another social construct I don't understand. Why do people think genitals should dictate what you wear, is the same kind of question in my mind, as why do I have to shake someone's hand as a greeting.
@@jlbeeen So you're AAAA
I have been diagnosed at an extremely young age with autism. And because of that growing up surrounded by neurotypicals was incredibly rough. And being a closted asexual has been tough. I just wish I knew about my queerness sooner and that I wish I had an irl support system.
Asexual isn't being queer, it makes perfect since growing up as autistic people like myself are more attached to people, and aren't going around getting laid.
@@davegity8796 yes it is. Being queer is a very broad spectrum and doesn't only consist of allosexuals .The very definition of queer is being outside of heternormative bubble. I would very much consider my upbringing very queer. Knowing exactly that I wasn't straight, or bi, but something else entirely. It wasn't until the end of high-school until I discovered I was asexual. And I think you mix up being neurodivergent and being allosexual. You can be neurodivergent and allosexual or not. I just happen to be asexual and neurodivergent therefore I also consider my self queer. I am queer because of my asexual identity, and became of so much more that I like to keep to myself. Hopefully this made sense if not idk what to tell you.
@@davegity8796 ok I think I myself complicated what I was trying to say. Being neurodivergent doesn't make someone automatically not allosexual. Some people are either allosexual or not whether they are neurodivergent or neurotypical. Also talking about asexuality in itself is a very broad spectrum. Being queer is also a spectrum. I thought you would have watched this creator's videos but apparently not.
@@Mr.fruitcake people are atracted to allovera plants now
Queer is for anyone in the lgbt community and the asexual and aromantic spectrum is a part of the community
I’m a pansexual woman, adhd and suspecting autism as well.
Sometimes I wonder if everyone is really as straight as they pretend to be.
I have some nt friends who are just as enamored with same sex people as I am but they usually are ignoring that side of themselves. My impulsivity definitely made it a lot harder to downplay my emotions as much as nt people can.
There were many societies in the past were sexual orientation wasn’t even a concept including hetero orientation. I feel like heteronormativity ( especially since everything else was outlawed and punished in Europe for centuries) could be strong enough as to gaslight a majority of the population.
I know that’s a bold statement but with a bigger percentage of people identifying as queer every generation we’ll see how far that “trend “ goes.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we’d come to a place in a hundred years maybe were 50% of people identified as somewhat queer.
I'm queer(aro/ace squad) and have SCD(social communication disorder) which for those who don't know (I didn't know this existed until I was diagnosed) is something like autism but only the social difficulty parts
*for the algorithm!!!
Thanks for the algorithm boost, haha! Yeah, I actually have heard of SCD, as someone who has obsessively examined the diagnostic criteria for ASD, it is mentioned as an alternative when someone doesn’t meet the requirement for repetitive behaviours. In any case, you sound like part of the gang!
Your voice is so lovely and perfect to listen to after being overstimulated.
I don’t know why exactly, but this comment makes me want to happy-cry, haha. I’m glad to hear it! ❤️
Facts
I was just about to comment a similar thing
So true.
I agree!
Hi! I just found this video and had to subscribe! My firstborn is on the autism spectrum. They are also on the asexual spectrum, trans and non-binary. I'm on the autism spectrum, too, though not yet diagnosed. And I recently realized that I'm bi.
Thank you for sharing this important information! 🙏❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Hello! Thanks so much for the subscription! Wishing your rainbow family love! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I have Asperger's (& maybe ADHD), I'm a bisexual demigirl. I feel girly and womanly most of the time, but few times a month, I feel like a guy, other times, in between categories.
Btw, I love your hair color!:)
You can use the label genderfluid only if you want to. It seems like it describes how your gender works
im queer and maybe autistic (apparantly i "dont meat the criteria" or whatever but from my own research i think i am for a number of reasons).
i think the experience of gender and sexuality is different in autistic people in general, so even a "cis" autistic person might see and feel their gender in a radically differant way to a cis allistic person. Also I've heard that autistic minds vary between each other a lot too, so 2 cis autistic people might also have a very different gender experience. The gender binary isn't adequate to describe gender even for allistics, but i think it fails especially in relation to autistic people for this reason.
As a Cishet man with Autism. It really makes me happy how close both the communities are and how many members are apart of both. In addition it makes me happy that there are neurotypical LGBT members that are allies to us people of the Autism community just like how I and many others are allies to the LGBT community. No matter the Homophobia and no matter the ablism. I know we both have each other’s backs
I'm not autistic, but I am (I think) ace! I was curious about this topic because I've heard some stuff about this, but it's really cool to hear more about, especially with actual stats and papers I can go read later! As a psychology major and potential future researcher, this makes me super happy in more ways than one :) Plus hearing your perspective is really helpful. I'm also possibly going to be a doctor one day, so especially stuff doctor-related is nice.
Yesss! Go be a doctor! We don’t have enough that are receptive to this realm of intersectionality. ❤️
I am so happy to see this being discussed in such a positive manner because you know that some people are gonna flip it on it's head and badmouth both of the communities. Seeing such a positive take is refreshing
Wow! This video is fantastically done. I'm one of the 30% of autistics who are cis/het, but I knew about this statistic and I think it is fascinating. I didn't know that there were this many peer reviewed studies confirming what I had previously only heard about from self advocates' survey data, and that's really good to hear. I've been building a playlist of autistic creators talking about autism since I was diagnosed and I'm stoked to add this video to it.
Side note: I'm in the process of unmasking my wardrobe. Your outfit is awesome.
Thank you so much! Maybe I’m not used to being a RUclipsr yet, but I’m freaking out a little because I, too, am making those same playlists, and it’s crazy to hear that I’m on someone else’s. It feels really special, so thanks. ❤️❤️❤️
And also, thank you! I support your growing wardrobe authenticity.
I wonder if the numbers are truly acurate. I would speculate that more ASD people are open about their queerness than neurotypical people. One of the atributes of autism is a lack of, or more accurately, a different style of, social skill. This often manifests as giving far less of a **** what other people think. This may free ASD folk up to be more open about their identity. This may have also lead to ASD culture itself (especially online) being more accepting of queerness (with exceptions). I think this point stood out when you said "why should autistic people have to comfortm neurotypically?" So true. Autistic people may simply have less trouble bucking gender norms due to differntly functioning brains. It also showed a NT tendendy to cling to gender norms and try to enforce them when it isn't necessary. I must add that, although I am not neurotypical (I have ADHD) I am not ASD myself. As such, my opinion is as an outsider so feel free correct me if I'm wrong here. As I say, this is purely specuilation, I wouldn't even call it strong enough to be a hypothesis at this point. It will be interesting to see if the queer figures in NTs starts to align more closely with ASD numbers as openess increases. Full disclosure, I am a cisgender, heterosexual ,white male in my 40s. I am doing everything I can to educate myself about gender and queerness because I hate that my demographic is so often, to put it bluntly, the worst. Sorry for a long rambling post but, hell, I have ADHD, it's what we do. I would love to hear what other people think of my ideas and even have them torn apart.
I love this speculation, and especially your transparency about your perspective! I think that is a possibility for sure. (By the way, I just find this interesting, so note that I am definitely not arguing with you, just doing some speculation of my own, haha). I think it’s also possible that many higher-masking individuals would have more difficulty in expressing their authentic identity due to the trauma born of having been bullied/ criticized/ abused, etc for being themselves in the autistic sense. This could even be true of lower-masking individuals, too. When the world doesn’t accept you, and you’re forced to fit in, I can see this as a possibility. And maybe both of our theories hold some merit and balance each other out, who knows? Thanks for the comment, I appreciate how respectfully you approached it. ❤️
@@SpaceyAces My pleasure, it's always interesting to speculate. Your point seems totally valid too. We just have to wait for the scientists and researchers to do the work and hopefully for culture to keep on changing for the better.
Just want to say to all my fellow autistic lgbtq+ people that if anyone uses "you only feel that because of autism" to invalidate you they are wrong. Being autistic causes you to experience the world differently, be a different person, and have different feelings about things. Chances are, your personality, interests, friends, skills, difficulties, etc. are all affected or possibly due to your autism. To put simply, for many of us, we are who we are due to autism, due to how our autism is a part of who we are. If someone uses that to invalidate you it's clear they don't see autistic people as valid, and capable of making their own descisions, they were most likely very misinformed or just hateful.
So just keep in mind that if someone uses autism to invalidate you, they have no clue what they are talkig about.
im autistic, queer, asexual, trans, AND nonbinary. im such a stereotype 😭
Yes I'm queer, non binary, bi and autistic, bipolar and I have adhd. My partner ( assigned male) and autistic with adhd is also non binary. All autistic friends I have are queer, gay, non binary or trans.
That’s so cool!!
This video and channel is underrated
Awww, thanks! 💜
@@SpaceyAces no problem!
I seem pretty similar to a lot of folks commenting. I am queer/poly/enby and asexual, as weird as that combo sounds. I have ADHD myself, and score high for autism, and might actually be. Of my demisexual / platonic romantic experiences, I noticed that nearly all of my queer/trans partners are neurodiverse, either ADHD/Autism or both.
Granted I tend to pursue romance with primary neurodiverse folks. Not intentionally, I just don't click with neurotypical people. I also have a TBI, and everyone is different but. My asexuality varies, as does my fluidity, though it does have a general upper and lower sorta limit. So yeah, what I'm saying is my experiences with others in close relationships have been almost exclusively of neurodiverse trans/queer/enby.
I can't actually recall any that weren't, and one who didn't know she had it when we dated was diagnosed due to her child. So there is literally Zero I can clearly remember.
I'm autistic (undiagnosed because I'm poor :"3) and I'm an aromantic, demisexual, bisexual, poly trans guy so I've always had trouble navigating my gender identity and sexuality because of how it didn't fit everyone else's ideas of how relationships are "supposed to be" and how autistic people can't possibly be queer.
I finally found out I was trans when I turned 18. I took so long to realize because everyone kept telling me I was just a masculine girl and I believed them since I didn't have the standard "I want to be as male as I possibly can and fully transition" experience most trans guys have.
I also found out I was bi when I was like 13 and demisexual when I was like 16 but I never fully realized I was aromantic until yesterday, when my best friend and I decided being a couple just wasn't our thing after three years of being together. We still have the same relationship, we just don't try to force ourselves into romance for each other anymore, though we still feel sensual and sexual attraction towards each other and other people.
We're a kind of weird mix between a queer platonic relationship and friends with benefits but we're happy like this and that's all that matters :3
So... Yeah it's been kinda confusing and neurotypicals don't make things any easier with their unnecessary rules and social constructs that only make me even more confused, but I think I'm much more comfortable this way.
I believe I probably have autism and I am panromantic, asexual, and genderfluid so this was very fascinating to watch since it is so relatable to me.
I am an autistic male and my partner is a male to female trans. We meet 15 years ago, I was working at a used book store while in college, she was a frequent customer who would come in a lot. I had dated cis gender women before, but felt maybe there was more to dating then this.
I could ramble about a bunch of other details. I like this channel, if anyone has questions , go ahead and ask, I try to reply to messages about once a day
This was such a comfort to watch! I can’t afford an autism evaluation yet (and now with the DSM-5 restrictions, I wonder if I’d even get diagnosed anyway), but hearing that there is a definite link between my queerness and my autistic traits is so incredibly validating! Seeing this, and seeing all these comments makes me feel less alone in my experiences - there are so many more of us than I ever would have thought, it’s wonderful!!
Thank you so much for making this video, and happy ND Celebration Week, everyone!!
Amazing video! I recently noticed that in my queer friend group, many of us are nerodivergent, so this video was super relevant!
You look so awesome!!!!
I love this channel and your videos about asexuality have really helped me find myself
Thank you!! And I’m so happy to hear that! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm Autistic. And I'm also part of this statistical tendency. I'm also Bisexua/Pansexual and a Trans Woman.
I feel an odd sense of peace in knowing how not alone I am. Especially where people have been telling me my whole live I'm wrong to not be straight and not taking my gender dysphoria seriously. People are so sure that we choose to be not straight/heterosexual, or attention seeking or being "sinful" as a choice, or that our gender is made up "paraphilia" or confusion and something that we surely couldn't just be naturally.
And yet right there we have an overlap with being Autistic and being LGBT. How fitting that nobody obviously chooses to be Autistic, that also overlaps with something we also don't choose, being queer. It's a good reminder how you can just be different and it not be a choice. I didn't choose to be Autistic, but I also didn't choose to be Pansexual/Bisexual or Transgender.
I don't know why they're correlated. But it's clear that they are. And none of these are things we chose to be.
In an odd sense, I feel at ease knowing that it's no surprise that an Autistic person like also ended up Trans and Pansexual. That I'm not crazy, this is just part of the the Autistic experience. It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It allows me to throw off all the labels that have been thrown at me since I was a child, f-slurs, t-slurs, groomer, narcissist, entitled, pervert, and all the other nasty things that people say who hate us.
And get back to something I know I am, not a disparaging term. I am Autistic. This is Autism. I'm not a bad person, I was just born Autistic, and Autism is apparently pretty Queer.
I once had a friend who is autistic and, in hindsight, I'm pretty sure she is on the a-spectrum. Unfortunately, we have lost contact. I myself am aro ace and another friend of mine is dyslexic and probably straight. So yeah, this comment doesn't really have a point. Great video btw!
Thank you! If nothing else, it's an algorithm boost, so thanks :)
I had for a while noticed that a lot of autistic people were queer and that a lot of queer people were autistic so it's interesting to see that there is very likely an actual link. I myself am queer (aroace and agender because to me sexuality, romance, and gender do not make sense when applied to me or just generally) and am suspecting autistic also (my therapist also thinks that I am potentially autistic). Interesting connection and good video.
I wasn't diagnosed as autistic till I was around 32 but I have always been ace. I was born male and identify male but I do sometimes wear clothing of the female variety because of how the fabric feels.
Okay, I know, I am late on this video, but today I watched it the first time (I should done it earlier)
I am an Asperger Autism, who was diagnozised with 9 Years, and I am queer. And I was so happy as I heard that so many autistics are queer. I had First Time a real feeling Like "oh wow, this people are Like me"🥹
Having been diagnosed with autism before I became a teenager, it was too easy to just brush off my lack of desire to date anyone as social anxiety or just that my brain would develop those wants later on and I wasn't ready yet. So it took until about halfway through uni, and the amount of time most of us got for self-reflection during 2020, for me to learn about the LGBTQ+ community and that I'm aroace. As for gender, I found the whole thing very confusing and it took me a long time to learn to be more accepting of others, because I simply couldn't understand what the fuss was about. For a while I started to wonder if my lack of caring about it meant I could be agender as well, but I think that I am most likely cisgender. I'm comfortable being a woman and I don't resonate with what I've heard about agender and NB experiences in the same way that I do for being aro and ace. Plus tbh I feel that my gender identity is just one small part of my full identity, and I have other things to think about that are much more worth the effort.
im an autistic gay man ive noticed the huge overlap most of my friends are also queer and autistic and even my boyfriend is queer and autistic
edit; im also a trans man (FTM) and i was diagnosed with autism at 8 came out as trans publicly at 13 and alot of my queer autistic friends are also trans :)
hullo! i'm a fellow queer on the spectrum and i wanna say thank you for bringing this connection up, especially the one regarding gender
i have a cishet friend on the spectrum that has been through the questioning experience towards both gender and sexuality, only because norms don't make sense in his head as being an unquestionable rule. turns out he's a part of the 30% percent, and even so, he still went through the questioning part about himself
also, a quick sidenote (i hope that doesn't bother you!!! i'm trying my best to give you constructive criticism waaa) your audio is a bit too low and that bothered my audio processing issues :/ if the problem is your equipment, i would like to help you and donate!!! do u have any links i can go to?
Awww 🥺
That's really sweet of your part, bro lol
I’ve always wondered about this! So happy I found your channel keep up the awesome work!
Over the past few years I have begun to see more and more the intersection of autism and neurodivergence with queerness. 5 of my best friends being neurodivergence and queer, with two of them and an ex-partner of mine being autistic and genderqueer specifically. Its so awesome to see a video about this topic presented in such thoughtful way, thank you for putting this out into the internet.
Hi ! I am high intellectual potential and hypersensible (I don’t know if being HIP is seen as a neurodiversity) and queer myself (ace, probably aro) and I have noticed that my neurodivergent friends were often queer too.
Maybe it can also explain why we can relate more with queer people if we have a neurological fonctionnement that is similar in some point (at least closer than with neurotypicals)
Thanks for the video ! Very interesting
definitely all that you list would mean Neurodivergent. AFAICT, sensory differences are the single most common factor in the ND community.
I'm queer (bi/Demi) and autistic. I have a friend who is pan/Demi and testing to see if she's autistic. And my bff is ace and autistic. I started wondering when I found all this stuff out of if there was some sort of connection, or if there was a high percentage in the autistic spectrum being LGBTQ+. Now I know xD
Thanks for the video!
I'm an asexual enby (afab) and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since I was 16. I'm suspecting autism might be a thing for me, it certainly runs in my maternal family alongside bipolar disorder. Having been raised with my more neurotypical paternal family I have always found it incredibly hard to find my way. I realized my queerness very early on in life and most of my friends have clocked me as autistic (many of these friends were diagnosed with autism themselves or, like my partner, had close family with autism). Just my parents seem to deny it, and naturally, so did I for a very long time. It's encouraging to hear about this link. Certainly feels like I'm less alone. Gender, sexuality, and so many everyday social constructs baffle me. Glad there might be a community out there with similar experiences! I just wish I would've had this information earlier in life. It's made my social life a lot easier in a variety of ways.
From what I read about bipolar depression, it usually is onset around age 20+ (although it can be disgnosed younger whereas autism doesn’t have an onset. Both can be present but I also know they can be mistaken for eachother.
I am always confused about what gender feels like. I know I always hated gender roles because I did not understand them. Why should someone with certain genitals be more into drawing? I did not get the connection. That was the reason I was „more like a boy“ as a child as an afab. But I also liked how dresses feel ( more comfortable than jeans). I suppressed this for a long time because somehow I wanted to be a „complete“ tomboy. But I never felt body dysphoria (maybe 1-2 years in puberty). Now identifying as autist (not diagnosed) and bisexual (demisexual, mostly I shudder when I try to imagine touching someone, even to shake hands is difficult, but I like sex with my husband and, at least mostly, cuddling with my little kids) I live a pretty „normal“ Cis life but still do not understand how „being a woman“ (or a man) should FEEL like. Is gender really more than a social construct? Is it just feeling good and aware about your body in terms of your sex? That’s the reason I follow a lot of trans people on RUclips. They try to figure out what is „normal“ to most people - not to me.
PS. English is not my first language and it is difficult to explain these complex things, sorry if I use wrong words or something.
I relate a lot to this! I’m looking to get diagnosed or info. for it at my next appointment/physical.
Oh... That's interesting
I'm just now realizing those "weird behaviors" of mine had a meaning after all ( sweating intensifies )
Wow I am so glad I found you and this video
I’m so glad you found your way here!
Hi, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you guys. I began to identify as asexual (aegosexual to be specific) about a year ago, and thanks to this video I got a hint that I might be autistic (I'm a girl, so the general symptoms were different/not so obvious, but I've always felt there was something different about me). Now I'm thinking about professional assessment :) Thank you so much!
You have such a cool aesthetic 🥺 I love your outfit sm 💖💖💖
That was super fascinating! Thank you for the information.
The last point really struck me because as a little kid and even sometimes now I was always hyper-feminine but honestly I never saw it as that, I thought I dressed like a boy because I had the elements of what boys wore but I just wore it in bright colors which automatically made it girly I guess. I have no clue if I have autism, but I suspect I do or some other neurodivergence. But anyway this video was awesome! 🤙🏼
I haven't been diagnosed with autism or anything but tics but apparently my father knew I may have autism and perhaps other things (he knew cause in his first marriage he had a son with Asperger's/autism and I guess I show traits that he did, my dad also has bipolar disorder and ocd) but never tried to get me in but now he is. I am a neurodivergent queer, specifically lesbian and non-binary.
(edited because im now confirmed not autistic)
Damn, sounds like your dad has the ‘tism gene, haha. And thanks for sharing! ❤️
@@SpaceyAces mhm lol
I’m also a nonbinary lesbian! Kinda similar how to your dad knew about you, I had other autists ask if I was autistic.
Unrelated to the video topic, but I love your hair! it is SOOO cute!
hm.
I am currently going through a autism diagnosis (I am not officially diagnosed yet).
tbh I feel like gender and sexuality play a less important role in my life than in the life of a lot of other people around me.
I am me, I was identified female at birth and I am biologically female...but if I weren't I don't think except from the obvious biological difference it wouldn't have made me a different person. I am...just me. I like painting and singing and plants and my family and friends and somehow all this stuff is more important about who I am as a person than my gender or biological stuff.
I am fine with what I got at birth...I don't have disphoria about it...but if it were different, it also wouldn't make much of a difference for me...though I'd have been raised in a different way probably...so maybe the female socialisation compared to being raise as a boy would have made a little difference.
Maybe it is because my interest in people is in a more distanced way than others...I don't identify as asexual per se...I just think other things are more important.
maybe demi is the thing...just that I have a hard time relating to people in general...and you know...sensory issues make physical contact a difficult subject.
I do agree that due to the fact that we (I still can self-diagnose if I don't have official paper yet, can I) maybe are more willing to show ourself truly when we're qu33r, because maybe sometimes we can't mask another thing about us or because we're already different anyway...or because hetero and cis normativity just doesn't make sense logically. It seems much more logical to me that people are different and want to express, live and love in different ways.
also if you're not good at noticing that you're not conforming to some weird social norm, you are probably also more like to just go by what seems to make sense to you...I dunno...
I feel the same way about my gender. I don't really care about all the annoying stereotypes around gender and never really thought about it too much. At the end of the day it's all okay as long as you are yourself and don't try to force being anybody else. ^^
@@Evelilu I agree in some way.
When my friend came out as trans and he told me about his gender disphoria that prompted me to think about it and how odd it seemed to me that other people care so much about their gender/biological sex. I don't mean that in a "that's wrong" way... just that it never really seemed that important to me personally.
So I thought about it pretty intensely (which is basically the only way for me to think about something really) for a few days ...and thought I was weird because I didn't really care about it...and maybe I am, but it works for me so who cares.
I do agree though...as long as whatever you do is working for you and you're not hurting anyone (without informed consent) I neither care what's in your panties nor what you do in your bedroom or who and how you love.
awesome video! super helpful and easy to understand :D
I love your Care Bear jacket it is great!!!!!! 🐻🌈☂️
Thank youuu! 🌈💜
Can you link your sources? Very interesting topic. Thank you!
Absolutely! I just realized I forgot to do that. It's in the description now.
I'd personally count myself to those 30% even though jaiden's recent video about being aro basically described me. Even as an arrowhead (which is completely valid and nobody has ever told me otherwise), I'd still say that "straight" describes me better than "queer" because like, i'm still attracted to women and not to men
still makes me part of lgbt+ tho ig. not something i'm disphoric about, why would i be
I can understand where you're coming from, but you'll still be accepted into the LGBTQ group because being aromantic heterosexual is just as LGBTQ as being biromantic heterosexual, homoromantic heterosexual, etc.
I get how you feel about it, though.
Just started watching, but loveeee the cardigan!
Thanks! 🌈
Thanks for making this video! It's not talked about enough (and yes, I'm queer and autistic) 🪄🌈 ✨
It seems ADHD'ers are equally qu33r. Anecdotally, as someone heavily involved in especially ace and trans communities, to me this seems undeniable. I also know that the ace community survey shows us that more aces are ADHD than autistic.
Also when you do videos like these, I think it would help your channel to instruct people to avoid the word qu33r in their comments or at least to misspell it because RUclips often automatically deletes comments with that word in it, so that's going to reduce your video's engagement. And it also sucks that you can't read their comments then.
thanks for mentioning. I'm gonna censor that word in my comment.
Thanks for sharing this information though I do appreciate it
I’m autistic and have ADHD and Asexual! I am yet to figure out whether or not I’m Aromatic but I’ve got time.
idk if i am?? im confident on my gender and sexuality at this point, those being mainly paragirl and gray-omnisexual, but a year ago i was pretty into adhd spaces online and related to people a lot. i haven't been active in a while and i kind of completely forget what it was about. i feel like symptoms i have can fall into depression or anxiety somehow, which i have been diagnosed with. when i really wanted to get screened it was like talking to a wall when i spoke to my parents, therapist or psychiatrist. i would tell them over and over again and nothing ever came of it. it was incredibly frustrating because for years my mom has been gaslighting me about various really important things to me, which has caused me to be really prone to feeling like im insane or dont have a human brain or AM NOT human and things like that. it's hard to explain but its really distressing. so now whenever i tell someone something and they forget it or the topic somehow disappears over time and i remind them and they dont remember i immediately go into anxiety attack mode. all of that just makes it hard to think about, and i dont feel like its worth it anyways
I don't have a disgnosis but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum and I'm Queer.
Welcome to the club!
I am a nonbinary man and queer and in the ace/aro spectrum, I am also autistic. I have noticed that all my identities seem linked together. Example; is my touch aversion because I am dysphoric or because I am autistic or does it have to do with me being acespec? Or is it a mixture of all three plus more things I haven't even considered? Is my attraction directly influenced by being autistic and trans? Who knows? But it doesn't really matter, because they all overlap to make the entity that is me.
Hello fellow autistic queer🥸We have some very similar mannerisms.
Hi! Do we? I'm curious.
@@SpaceyAces I think it’s mostly just stimming haha just like, everything you do with your hands or how you emphasize specific words is rly similar if not the exact same way I’d say it. I might be more energetic with how I emphasize words with my body language but ur way is good too. Idk if you did this on purpose but you kept movements slow, voice gentle, and a ton of the colors are muted/pastel like u made this video calm in as many ways as possible haha I’m way over analyzing but, so is the way of our condition lol. I also have blue hair with green bangs, wire glasses and funky earrings lol so that’s a funny coincidence.
"transition autistically" : love this !!!
I’m sorry it’s extremely unrelated to the video but that is a really cool chair
I am autistic, bi, transguy, demisexual and gray romantic
i’m high functioning autistic and got diagnosed at age of 2 (i’m 31 now)
Like always great...🥰😇
i love your voice
I don’t know why, but this is somehow the best compliment ever? ❤️
Im hetero but open to change it 😅 maybe I just dont know it yet.
I'm autistic and queer! 😃
I want to listen to this so much but it's so hard with the background sounds & it disrupts my ability to focus. If you can please fix this 🙏😔 it sounds so interesting the few snippets i can hear
I'm Autistic, and I can already see that it is probably pointless posting here. Because despite my legitimate concern for others on the Spectrum, clearly based upon the channel prompt before commenting and how that typically goes, so much for my perspective on this topic being accepted.
Because if this comment isn't deleted outright, even a video a year old can see newer comments get loads of comments, and in my case those comments would most likely be............hostile. Which just saddens me all the more, as there is a serious and frankly insidious problem affecting the Autistic community, and I feel like it will fall on deaf ears around here.
Despite how much you've written, I still don't know what you're talking about.
@SpaceyAces The "Undeniable Link". You wouldn't like hearing what I think that link actually is.
@@SockieTheSockPuppet Well? What is it?
@jessicab831 Well, since nobody apparently seemed to connect the dots............
I'll be blunt. It is very clear that Autistic people are being taken advantage of and manipulated into believing that they're queer/etc. Whether we like to admit it or not, we as a whole are extremely inclined to being easy to trick due to not getting social cues. That, paired with a need to feel like we belong and not being an outlier, plus with what a disturbing amount of teachers are being found to be teaching in schools nowadays, and it becomes even more obvious once seen. The word tends to get comments deleted, but simply put, it's flat-out "brooming" (substitute the 'b' for a 'g'). Which fundamentally does not help the bevy of issues that we already in general have to deal with, in fact compounding it by several orders of magnitude.
When I was in Kindergarten, I acted like a puppy. Not because I believed that I was one, but because 101 Dalmatians was my favorite movie at the time. If I was in Kindergarten today, they would unironically be teaching me that I actually am a dog, like with how many schools now are getting caught encouraging kids thinking that they're actually cats, even to the point where they've installed actual litter boxes.
It's madness, and it's abuse. And it's painful to see that bringing these serious issues to light is apparently not the goal of many who speak up about the Autistic Spectrum. Inadvertent or not, it unfortunately does not matter, this is enabling this to continue.
When you use the word queer do you refer to all the LGBT community. Or have you thought that there are some of us who prefer gay or lesbian etc. it’s a spectrum
I typically use queer as a shorthand/ umbrella for LGBTQIA+, but of course not everyone prefers to! In daily use (i.e. talking to/about someone) of course I would use their preferred titles/ descriptors. 💖
Triple a
Aromantic asexual ADHD!
You look beautiful
The link is with Autism and a vague sense of self and inability to feel social norms. This leads to what you refer to as "queerness" but that is not based in truth but a way you've chosen to interpret it. And yes, I am Autistic. I'm a woman who dresses in men's clothing just because that is what I find comfortable, I wear no makeup and have short hair or am bald. I'm not non-binary, trans, queer or what have you. I'm just a woman who prefer to look this way and that's okay.
Absolutely that’s okay! And I’m sure it’s a very common experience among autistics. And it is true that due to accompanying alexithymia, we may have a vague sense of self or identity, and obviously missing out on social norms is part of being autistic. If it wasn’t clear, when I refer to queerness, I am referring specifically to LGBTQ2AI+ folk, those who experience a gender other than that assigned at birth, and people who identify as anything other than straight or heterosexual. You are expressedly not part of this demographic, and that’s awesome. But many of us are! Being queer and being gender non-conforming are different, and this video is about the former. Keep in mind that for the most part, these studies are self-reported autistic people specifying their queer identities, so those like yourself would fall into a cishet category and not make up the queer statistic.
@@SpaceyAces I know what you mean but I still think it's a skewed way to think of it. Practically I am no different from those that identify as nonbinay/trans, the only difference is that I don't believe that my preferences dictate my gender. So if you take away the ideology you are left with the facts that we struggle with identity, social norms and sekzuality.
@@sanz7820 Except you are different. If you’re trans/ nonbinary, you’re trans/nonbinary, if you’re not, you’re not. We don’t look one particular way on the outside, and it’s not about behaviour. It’s about gender identity. Most trans people will inform you that our preferences don’t dictate our gender - our gender identity does. And none of this takes away from the idea that as autistic people, we may also struggle with identity, social norms, and sexuality. They are related, but nonetheless different phenomena.
@@SpaceyAces I'm not different, I'm exactly the same except that I don't believe in the ideology. At any moment I could decide to give in to these ideas and say that I am nonbinary or trans and my looks, history, thought process would be a perfect representation of it. The difference is only in the belief that gender identity is a thing, nothing else.
Yeah this is just transphobia again:( I am so sad they found this channel.. (ps it doesn't matter how you respond to this comment bc I'm not going to have a discussion with a transpose)
Interesting video, if I could make a suggestion, some autistic people may not feel comfortable with you using the word disability
Thanks for your comment! I'm curious, though, why someone would have qualms with the word "disability"? Autism is a developmental disability, and the only reason I can see autistic people having negative feelings toward it is due to the surrounding stigma born of ableism. Disability isn't a bad word, nor should we perceive it as limiting, but rather a neutral and factual descriptor.
@@SpaceyAces I used to really dislike the word 'disability' (or rather the Dutch equivalent) because I didn't feel like my autism was 'hindering' me in any way. I was like 'well, my brain's just wired a different way, there is nothing 'missing' from me' like you wouldn't call queer people disabled even though they too deviate from the 'norm'. However now that I am older and am actually running into issues where my autism is affecting my everyday life much more I think it's okay to call it a disability because it does hinder me and it does affect me and it does make me unable to do things that normal people can. I still feel a bit weird about it but I guess that's just the ableism as you say. Sorry for the long comment, hope it boosts your engagement;)
@@SpaceyAces Some people feel sensitive to the term "disability" because it's been associated with a negative stigma as well as that some see autism as only a difference and not a limit in their ability. Reasons as they are, it's impossible to be sensitive to every term and their changing appropriateness. The fact that this video is being made at all is proof enough, the use of autism as a disability is not used with poor intent, but with general referral. Thank you SPACEY ACES for the informational video and aesthetic joy.
@@SpaceyAces I know this is very late, but I wanted to say thank you for giving me a different perspective on the word! My reasons were pretty much summed up by the other two replies to my comment, I hadn't really thought of disability as a neutral and factual descriptor before :)
Yeah its called targeting people that have a condition
How could we have been targeted? No one is certainly forcing anyone to be aroace and that's what I am. Not 100% sure if I have autism, though.
I don't mean to be rude...but a lot of these comments seem to be self diagnosing which is kind of a problem. I understand having social issues but to chalk them up to "I have symptoms but haven't been diagnosed or have been told I'm not qualified as autistic by professionals but I feel I do." Is kind of a problematic view to just give yourself something. It's not a cute thing to have when it actually effects peoples lives in certain ways. So to claim to have it without any diagnosis is romanticizing it in an unhealthy way.
I don't think people diagnosed with autism should be ashamed and hide it or even just not talk about it I feel they should handle it however that person sees fit. But the undiagnosed people saying they have it and making it romanticized is a growing issue.
Self-diagnosis is widely accepted in the autistic community! I could probably make a video on it alone, actually. In (very) short, I just want to say that you never know how much someone is impacted by their autistic traits, so you can never assume that those you seem to be targeting are not incredibly affected. And, in truth, traits may be more or less disabling depending on who you are and your life situation. There are countless reasons for not even wanting to seek a professional diagnosis (some common examples being that it can be used against you in court, and you cannot foster children), and you never know someone else's experiences. Autistic people know themselves better than anyone else, so it's not your place to comment.
@@SpaceyAces You wouldn't sit in front of a Dr and tell them you know you have a certain disease or issue with your body and then when tested and it comes back negative say "No I have it and I know I do." Now there are times slip under the wire and cases like this happen but professionals study in these fields for a reason to help people with this. The same being with with neurological issues. Yes some cases will slide under the wire but with how rapidly people are claiming things like autism, did, adhd, it's all so romanticized more and more. I'm more than happy for people to be open about what they have and not make it stigmatized but by saying you have something without a proper diagnosis creates a bigger stigma around it. I'm for people researching and seeing similarities and getting a diagnosis but self diagnosis create a problem in neurological care.
If I were to say right now "I have social issues so I have autism so you can't tell me it's not my place to comment cause I have diagnosed myself and you can't say I don't have it otherwise your no better than I." Will you tell me I don't have it? Cause if I don't need a Dr to diagnosis me then I should be allowed to diagnosis myself. You don't have a place to tell me no I don't have autism even if you feel I don't you can't say I don't cause I feel I do despite not having a professional diagnosis me.
I'm not mocking autistic people or even people self diagnosing but those that self diagnose are very much romanticizing it.