STOP DATING MEN WITH "POTENTIAL"?
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- Опубликовано: 25 апр 2020
- SHOULD YOU DATE A MAN WITH POTENTIAL? COMMENT BELOW AND SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES!
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"The red flags you ignore in the beginning are gonna be the reason of why you leave in the end." oh my-
Omg this is so damn true!
@@kaimaet2288 ikrrr !
It’s so true
Always!! 💯
That goes both ways but i agree
Fall in love with the man in front of you - his current standards, not his potential (it's not guaranteed).
No, don’t fall in love. GROW in love!
@@leeslyrose agree!
You shouldn’t date a man who has “loads of potential” because you’re idealising what he possibly *could* be rather than what he actually is.
Well said!❤️
U confused sis
U confused sis
I don’t agree, I believe you should absolutely go for it if he’s actively working towards his goals and aspirations (provided that they’re sensible and attainable goals). In fact, the more potential the better! Is he putting the work and effort in everyday? If so, why not? Men who talk the talk are just that - talkers. They may have all the potential but be lazy. Be smart ladies!
Facts
Men never marry or data potential, only women have been conditioned to do so. A man will never say "Oh look! There's a woman that's not in shape and is not my type physically but I'm gonna get with her because she has potential to get fit and become attractive to me, and I'm gonna make sure I pay for her gym membership, her diet, and doctors appointment to hold her down", that has never happened because men aren't shamed for sticking to their standards and dating who they truly want. Atop being desperate and raise your standards, the right man will not have to make you compromise and in turn, decrease your quality of life. We need to do better ladies.
Preach 🙌
so true!!
Ahaha Ted Mosby
Kam Bee don’t answer the troll he just wants women to lower their standards so that he can easily access them
crooked truth83 don’t answer the troll darling ignore him
The worst thing about datiing a man with 'potential' is that your standards for yourself will lower until you have no self esteem or energy to follow your own goals.
Success is not found in their level of inspiration or motivation but found in their daily habits.
Something to look for in a partner
I love this!!! Perfectly said!
🙌🙌👌
EXACTLYY 😩😩😩😩😩
Stop dating broke women
"But you have to be okay with the person you're seeing in front of you like they'll never change. You gotta fully accept someone for who they are RIGHT now." PREACH!
Men date off face value‼️ do the same sis don’t date on potential💯✨
💯
Najwa 👏🏾
Najwa LOUDERR
You really think men are a monolith, eh?
Shani Nicole You want them to turn the volume up on some sweeping generalisation? You really think men are incapable of the same emotional intelligence and complexity as women? You really think men are incapable of seeing behind face value? Disgrace
Ladies don’t do it. I had to learn the hard way. All I have to say is that when a person shows you who they are believe them, please.
Potential has broken my heart more times than just me accepting people where they are. I realized quickly that I was a gallon that was constantly filling time with pint size potentials. Ladies don't let your ego and nurturing ways keep you with pint size individuals when you're a gallon! Don't just Keep your standards. Honor them! The right one will step up!
Flex-N- Fly yasssssss you said it! A word! You’re beautiful queen 👸
@@smiles83ish Thank you so much beauty. I'm with a beautiful man now that stepped up. Its a beautiful thing to honor your standards.
YES QUEEEEEEN
@@jackiesiime9865 Girl the amount of freedom I had after recognizing that I was a gallon constantly trying to fill up pint size people. That's in romantic relationships and friendship. I just was like stop. You don't have to be that for them. Be that for you! Freedom. Happy Sunday beauty
@@naneka7774 and if he doesn't, Thank God for showing you and let him be. Or else resentment is inevitable.
Stability is the most important thing in every part of life!!
Gold diggers!
This is why I’m single now because I’ve dated a few guys who can’t hold a job for more than two weeks. These guys didn’t only drain me mentally but financially
Leigh Murphy THE GUY you are dating should pay everything for you! Meet a man who is affluent and is not cheap
@@adamovalkwiak4127 hahah everything.:))) Good luck with finding that.Unless you are in your 20 and looking for a sugardady
bandd1 excuse me? It’s not about age or finding a sugar daddy you misread my message. It’s about having self value and knowing that you are the main prize. Also If a guy is cheap with money he is cheap with feelings.
Ladies should not pay for their man. A Lady should be treated as one and economy is a big part of the relationship and of course it’s not everything but in fact it’s an important part that can’t be ignored I think. Only cheap men would be annoyed with what I’m saying a true gentleman/Lady knows and agrees with me. 🌸
Wow I didn’t expect to be insulted on here
Dating "potential" lead me to the biggest mental breakdown I have ever experienced in my whole life. Wish I saw this video before...
Me three.
Wow what happened??
"one day I'm fixing to....."
"one day I'm finna to......"
"What are you doing TODAY"
🙄🙄🙄
😂😂😂♥️
Nonkosi Xaba 🙌🏾
🤣🤣 she should make it into a song
😂😂😂 exactly
words of truth!
My ex couldn't even keep a job and gave up starting his business! For 2 years He used me. 🎯 Men with potential will string you along, he didn't want to be married, he wanted the benefits of a marriage. 🎯
I feel that sometimes we use the promise of potential to blind ourselves
Glad I watched this. Being unequally yoked is dangerous. Everyone deserves to be with someone on their level.
Amen
That's makes negative sense
We need to stop being sold on the dream of who our partner will become.Your partner shouldn't be your project.
You’re dating his character not his potential so be careful
Ooo I love this
From experience, I will say No! Date what you see , not what you hope to see. Also from the guy's character and habits, you can tell if this is a serious guy with a vison. Even at that, does he have a clear plan on how he is going to achieve his goals? The times when I've actually dated 'just potential ' I ended up wasting my time and I realized it's ok to actually just keep to my standards. Girls don't let any guy make you feel guilty for having your standards. Men don't date potential, so why should you? Most times when girls date 'potential ' it's all a 'fantasy'. If that guy is not ready or where he needs to be, don't rush into anything, let him go and sort himself out, you as the girl, also use that time to focus on yourself. There is no point of joining with someone who isn't even complete. Let the two of you be whole first, before coming together. I hope this comment helps someone.
Nina Anthony Vlogs thank you for this comment!!!❤️
"You can not build your life on what he could be" .... ooooo that really spoke to me
The sister I never had🤎✨
Men don’t even look at a lady who has “potentials”, they want a lady who’s already doing well, they don’t believe in ladies that can grow or even start off small, it’ll go the same way for these guys, they need to learn to get their shii up and steady. They only know how to dream!
Jennifer Uwa if they’re happy with the level their at leave dem alone
kwame opoku sounds like it’s the same with you, lol you can remain where you are.
I saw this post of a guy pretty much bashing women for being “shallow” and not building up guys etc and just wanting the man to be independent already. It definitely struck a nerve with me cause I’ve been broken by males that I invested into because of their potential and I know countless women who have experienced similar. I’m so glad you summarised my thoughts and feelings in this post with so much clarity 🙏🏽
I find it hypocritical because men of all creeds are allowed to be attracted to/prefer blondes, Asian women, Latina women, curvy women, thin women etc. But if a woman has an attraction for a self-made man, that’s wrong?
They right to u expect us to have everything and u do nothing
they looking for moms, not gf loll
Short answer: NOPE! Unless he’s under 25 and may still be young and directionless.
Waste of time to be with a man that needs YOU to help him get his life together. Men out here are 50 and still wanting to “build” and their old behind should be built already! 😂
It’s too much of a risk when we settled for a potential man. Ladies, it’s not selfish to want better for you. This is the man you plan on spending the rest of your life with. The least you can do is be happy. Don’t sit there & wait because of his “potential”.
It is so true when you say guys don’t settle for potential but sometimes I feel like women are in this place where we always have to be the ones to compromise
Hope is Dope Tv ok I’d check it out
Only date a man with potential if you have the mindset that he will never reach it and are perfectly fine with where he currently is in life.
Breeny, my ex said i have too high standard for asking that he cut all his communication with all his exes. He said thats what maturity is and you are right he wants me to change and accept that all his exes are women he will keep forever bec they shared good memories together. im still sad that we broke up but glad that it happened now than suffer emotionally in the future. Your videos have encouraged me in this break up process. God Bless you more.
Guys who want to keep in contact with their exes are a big NO NO, let alone he wanted to keep in contact because of the "good memories"?.. Well he should go and date them then! lol... sounds to me like you dodged a bullet babes
You definitely dodged a bullet! He’s keeping those old doors open, with hopes of walking through them again. Unless, he has children with one of them, there’s nothing for them to talk about.
Lui De Veyra proud of you 💗
Yup I had a guy who wanted me to become friends with his babymoma..(his ex )..it was our first week of Dating and he told me he spoke about me to her .....and constantly compare me to her ..... I was feeling suffocated I had no room to be myself cause I had to be like his ex babymoma.. I ended it . Lol
My ex was the same...messanger conversations with old flames...exs who he told me were "just friends" yuck! When we broke up I blocked him so I cant be another one of his "friends" in the future...once I'm done I'm DONE!
I waited a year for a guy to tell me he was ready for a relationship and he still wasn’t. I though being the great woman I am that he would see the potential in me to want to commit but he didn’t. I should’ve ran the moment he said ‘I’m not looking for a relationship’ but I stayed hoping I could change his mind. I was wrong and now I’m hurt.
Iz4 i did the same . he said all the right things and I was in denial , I was a fool and now I’m raising his child on my own .... some good had to come out of the mess . She saved my life 💚
Unfortunately, things may feel hurtful now; but at least you’ve seen the light and you’re out of the situation ❤️
Personally I think if a guy likes you he won't pass up the chance to make you his gf. Especially if he knows you like him too.
Reygel DG You’re right, that’s what a real man would do. But this one was emotionally unavailable and therefore he couldn’t meet my emotional needs because he was struggling with his own. My advice is if you ever meet a guy who is not sure what he wants, don’t entertain it and let him be someone else’s problem.
Sorry you had to go through this love , I been there before. HUGE MISTAKE , NEVER prove your worth to a man if he doesn't see it value you yourself enough and walk away !
HAVE YOU TRIED TO DATE A GUY THAT HAD POTENTIAL, HOW DID THAT WORK OUT? Let’s discuss below 💋 Hope you’re all staying safe and sane xxx
Breeny Lee Yes. I invested in him to build him up mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. Other females started noticing him doing well. He wasn’t used to the attention so he started being a mess on me and started treating me like he’s the one doing me a favour after everything I gave him. Long story short ended it with him and learnt to pour that same love and energy that I was giving to him, into myself instead
Horrible
Breeny Lee Forex trader that was talking right from the the start about the new beautiful house the worldwide trips even rolls Royces..but hasn’t held down a job for 6+ years living with mama still and had a go at me for not believing in him - do I need to say more, big lesson in potential vs what is your pattern
I tried to help him financially for 3yrs, pushed him to go back to school bt then I got tired of always giving out and rarely receiving so I left him sis and upto now his life hasn't changed much.
Yes and now we are not together. I thought he could change but he just kept putting it off. Wasn’t gonna waste my energy on him while I was building my empire. No suh
AND ISSA NO ON PERIOD!! Thank you sis! potential may never happen and you might try to change him. I've tried it a few years ago, not worth is si!
Wow you dropped so many gems. My family tried to convince me that I needed to “work with” my ex because he had “potential” I’m so happy I chose myself on this one.
Best decision 👌
Glad you made the right choice
"She's a lemon" I DIED LAUGHING
I have noticed men will not lower their standards for a woman.. Even if she is the best for him.. he still wants what he wants.. 🤷♀️
Ladies stand firm and keep your standards we deserve to feel needed and wanted by someone that we are wholeheartedly interested in..
The thing is that often people justify behaviors of a bad narcissistic person and say "but she/he has potential" and by the "potential" I mean the smallest things that are completely normal and because people have the tendency to make them a huge deal it often ends up with people just sayin "okay he/she is harming me, but they still have potential".
@Hope is Dope Tv sure thing, I've watched the whole video and u got a sub girl
you are so right
"you have to build your life on what you know now." Very powerful. powerful video. This is going in my quotes collection. This lady should seriously consider making a book on quotes alone after the podcast comes out.
I suffer addiction and a mental illness I suffer w and I felt I wasn’t good enough unless I was w someone on my level... done w that I gotta get myself healthy first
Same girl, lets get whats good for us
“The difference between Barrack & yo bum ass...” that took me out 😂
2:45 Exactly! You have to want more for yourself. If what he says he wants this or that and you never see any consistency toward those goals....leave him.
You’re preaching Breeny!! You definitely have to take people at face value. Also sometimes what’s mad is that because men don’t settle for potential, they’ll think you’re a match for them because all their needs are being met. Meanwhile, your needs aren’t being met but you’ll be gassed because he’s so into you and you’ll be waiting for him to change or be better. Just like you said don’t feel bad for wanting what you want and ladies put yourself first! Your needs are just as important as his. You’re meant to serve and help one another!
Could you do a video about friendships?? :) About how to recognize the right type of people, and the wrong type of people.
Hedda Halinen - yes I do have a video on this, check my playlist x
Breeny Lee Thanks! ^^
Ladies set your standards high and keep them there. A man wouldn’t say oh she’s kind of cute I just have to invest in her a little bit. He’s going to walk right past you. This is the same we should do with men. The person may not see themselves how you see them.
This really spoke to me and validated the feelings I was having surrounding a choice to end a relationship i know wasn't going to give me what I needed...he was a good guy but our core values were so different that it was literally causing conflict at every turn! Thank you for this video! I'm slowly learning to date with intention and purpose and staying strong through your words! God bless!
I swear. Every single time! This woman pulls through with the exact video I need. God Bless Breeny’s beautiful soul 🤍
Speaking from my last experience when I was entertaining a guy with no goals, but was very funny and sweet to me, he has money but absolutely no vision. I was so into him, and so happy that at least i had someone,at the end I ended up with a broken heart because it was just not a guy for me. Which I knew all along but I was not listening to myself and compromised my standards.
I understand
I absolutely love Breeny Lee! She's an absolute dime and is speaking facts.
I also think they need a passion that they are pursuing
Loved how transparent and straight to the point this video was really loved the honestly Breeny continue to inform us on topics like this 💜
Thank you so much for this❤❤. In a world that people see a woman who wants stability in her partner, in the important areas of life including financial, as asking for too much or being materialistic or not of the enduring spirit it's quite sad. You said it in your other video, don't date down❗❗. We as women need to be strong enough to reject what we don't want.
You always have such a valuable perspective on topics, you should consider writing a book!
Do you know what you get when you date a guy that has potential?????
potential.
🤣
This took me out 😂😂😂
Loving the consistency during quarantine!! i needed this🥰keep it up
I came on here to say I used to watch your vids about knowing your worth and loving yourself. Through my last break up. It was my breakthrough to emotionally grow and know who I truly am. Good and bad. Accepting it all. I truly understand what you’ve been teaching. Thank you for always spreading positivity and uplifting women through your platform. It’s amazing work. Thank you
I'm so glad you are speaking about this, my ex had potential but he never tried to grow or make his life better. I did everything and I felt taken advantage of. He wasn't a bad person, but he did not try to be better or grow, and I have so much passion to be better than I was the day before. I realized eventually he never did and never would. Don't do what I did ladies, listen to Breeney.
yeah girl, you're so on point, women should stand on their ground and be more confident to unapologetically want for what they want, i like your content and your work, keep it up!
‘The red flag that you ignore in the beginning is going to be the reason you leave in the end’ - I always seem to come away with from these videos feeling so much better about myself, helps me reflect on my previous actions and just makes me grateful of those people I’m no longer associated to
Lol i had a friend who tried to make her bf lose weight and eat healthy so hard, she was so frustrated when it didnt work...she kept saying " he wants to! He can!" And i was like girl he's only saying that to appease you.. long story short he never changed and they broke up
YASSS THIS EPISODE WAS JUST 🔥🔥🔥.... My take way was that I should feel bad for what my standards are.
Hell no!
Unless he is actually making steps towards that potential in the present moment I repeat hell no!
The minute I hear “I finna “or I’m “fixing to”.I yell “check please!”
Emotionally stable...you point exactly what I couldn’t express.
I am a Muslim girl and i always watch your videos and i lovvve them you are a good supporter and a good speaker am so proud of you Breeeny!
You are truly a wise lady ❤️.... Thanks for being the big caring sister we all need
I hope you're well and safe Breeny. I already know that this video is going to be great!
She stay with the bangers ❣️. Your videos are God Ordained Breeny. Thank you
Straight facts girl. Straight facts. Been in this situation and it's a NO for me. NEVER SETTLE. Don't hope he gonna change.
Thank you! Many thank yous. I can not express how greatful I am for coming across your channel. You're like a breath of fresh air. I just want to let you know I'm SUPER grateful for you, Breeny ❤
I love her “ the difference between barack and yo bum as*😂😂😂
THANK YOU so much for this video!! One of the reason I have never been in a long term relationship it's because I know what I want in a man. Consistency, discipline, and ambition are important for me. If we don't match then that's it. I know my worth and I can't stay in a place where it's going to drain my energy. I'd rather be single and live my life to the fullest pursuing my dreams rather than settling for less hoping that person to change. Also action does speak louder than words. Be careful ladies x
I absolutely loved what you said. I agree with you 💯💯💯💯💯💯
Needed to hear this! I usually talk about stability but this gave me more information that I needed to hear
I just love that, how you explain it to us! Thank you, Breeny! 🙏
Yeah men (some) are not waiting for potential. Like you said we as women are used to stability. Don’t take me out my fathers house to a 2 bed/2 bath with your momma. No chief I need an ambitious and stable man. Breeny you hit the nail on the head with this video. Also please make a podcast because I can listen to you talk all day lol.
Where was this information when I was in my early 20s 😭😭 but thank you sooo much and continue doing what you are doing
QUALITY CONTENT AS ALWAYS. YES QUEEN
THANK YOU potential is you guessing what they might become. You could be right but it's not guaranteed.
3:19 yesss patriarchal control, periodt sis. Periodt.
maryweather57 Yes, some people try to guilt women out of their standards so they can have access to more women. It’s about control and manipulation.
@@candylove49 it's funny because I'm discovering a new underlying manipulation tactic every so often and it scares me to think that I thought it was normal. Breeny describes this perfectly so I won't give in to feeling guilty about these kind of things!!
That pressure other women will put on you to accept something that is a non-negotiable for you, all in the name of patience is BS. We grown!!!
*Before watching* It depends if by potential you mean the woman's projection of a man or the PROMISE of a man? Does he have specific, measurable, action steps that are realistic and have timelines? Or is it just something he could do but has not done much to contribute towards his future goals? If the answer is not sure or no, then no. If the answer is yes, this man has promise which goes beyond potential! That is the ideal situation.
My dad was from the projects and broke in grad school living with his parents in his mid 20s but he saved every dime to be able to provide for my mother when they got married. My mother also dated a rich guy who was given everything from his family. She chose my dad. He secured a decent paying job and was a home owner twice by the age of 30. A six figure earner and retired by 40. Promise. Potential is a man who can possibly do more with his life but it's not clear HOW that will happen or the steps he is taking to align to his goals/dreams/aspirations/desired outcome. My dad had a plan! Period.
GOD BLESS YOUR DADDY SIS!!!
@@nonyabusi5752 Thank you so much!
Exactly. The specifics are important. Means does the person know where he is going , why is he going there , how is he going to reach there , what timelines ??
If he has these answers clearly then , we know the person is genuine.
If he is giving vague answers, no specifics , it means he himself doesn't know.
So here we get out answer.
The answer is actually always in front of us , but people are not clearly listening and asking detailed questions .
I laughed so hard with the One Day part. I have been there and learnt my lesson. Not happening again. Thank you for this video.
😂😂😂 such good points though!! No more projects ... I cannot and WILL NOT !
GUUUURL you really did something with this video for freaking sure! This is sooooo good like holy cow you really be STATING FACTS!! The part on the president had me holller 😂😂
This video was right on time, so much wisdom that I am surely going to apply , thank you 🙏
Breeny, I've watched so many of your videos, but this is so far my favourite! I don't know why, but it hit me hard, even it was such a simple and obvious lecture. I whish, I'd had understand this already years ago... but better now than never. Thank you so much for this eye opening content! :)
My good friend who is Muslim married a Christian woman, I had to literally talk him out of a separation over a Christmas tree/presents. His wife had a 5 year old before the marriage and was raised with Christmas/Jesus/Santa, he adopted this child and had a daughter with his wife. Him being Muslim he refused to celebrate Christmas and cussed out the grandparents for bringing presents. The whole thing was a mess. Ironically he bragged at the beginning of the marriage that she wasn't a 'super' Christian so he wasn't worried about the religious differences. Flash forward she almost cheated on him over the holiday isolation he put her and her kid through...a mess. So I agree, pay attention to red flags 🚩and don't compromise.
Isn't the topic
You make feel so happy,😹❤️your humor is incredible. “Always keeping it real.”
BREENY you should do more videos about self love /insecurity a lot of us are stuck in quarantine by ourselves and are trying to do self discover
Yes queen!! Spilling knowledge. 👏🏽
We always set red flags, then still ignore them😕
Literally Breeny, I love you. ALWAYS. ON. TIME. I’m figuring out the faith thing. That’s deff gonna be a roadblock. Possibly a deal-breaker. I guess I’ll see.
Thank you Breeny. This video has meant a lot to me.
He says he wants to change, but his actions say otherwise. You can't wait forever, you deserve better.
Lol Im not looking for a “potential” but I’m sooo glad I watched this. I was talking exactly about this to a man who wants to date me but we do not have the same fundamentals and this made me realize that I am not in the wrong for telling him this.
You are totally right. I agree
Love seeing you act silly! Preach that truth!
You know something? I just cannot date a guy that hasn't got it together. Idc what his story is, cause i've seen it countless times with my aunts, sister, my mom and once with myself and i learn my lessons FAST! So, no! I'm not asking for diamonds, though that'd be hella great😍, but i just cannot date NOTHING.
Thank you so much for this Breeny! You speak the truth! Us ladies owe it to ourselves to be more consious and self respecting :)
I love your content so much, you have completely changed my mindset!
This video truly came at the right time 🙌🏾
Thank you so much for this vid. After a relationship of 5 years I ended it because he was never on my level. I thought I could change him, no. I couldn’t! And I felt bad because I wanted something he didn’t have.
YES BABE 👏👏👏👏 tell us,
we need to be reminded
You always speaking some truth ❤️
BREE PLEASE TALK ABOUT USERS. MEN THAT WANT ASK BUT DOESN’T GIVE SUPPORT IN ANY AREA OF A WOMAN LIFE. BOTH PHYSICALLY L, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY.