Vital lessons: 1. Never ignore or downplay the red flags 🚩. 2. Don’t think you can change any grown man or woman. 3. Avoid any man or woman who hasn’t healed from past bad relationships. 4. The fact that you’re the best for them doesn’t mean that they’re the best for you.
Very vital points you highlighted. The signs were evident from the very beginning but unfortunately ignored. I sensed in my spirit that something went wrong at a particular point( which was mentioned during the course of the interview) You are blessed for your observations.
I agree with you about healing but she has deeper issues. Most parents don't train their children well they focus more on religion. I see this with my sister in law children.
I had the chance to marry a nurse and a preacher . I chose the preacher. We ended the marriage after three years . Abusive Christian relationship is the most common but unspoken dark topic happening in the body of Christ ! Most Men of God weep secretly with deep regrets. It’s now a blackmail issue with Pastors. I am a pastor although not full time , I almost chose to marry a Muslim lady why ? We need total honesty, love and Submission which is lacking in most Christian women.
My encounter with Dr Olumide Emmanuel was in 2008 as a Security Guard in his newly built house somewhere in Southwest Nigeria where I worked for about six months. He is a great mind, full of wisdom. I read one of his books then "Singles, thou arth loosed" and instantly got inspiration to pen down a book. We were told that his wife and two children were in America as he often travel to America with bags loaded with his written books. We use to wonder why a rich Pastor and entrepreneur of his caliber was living all alone. You have impacted many lives Sir and I believe those children will look for you at the appointed time.
I have great respect for Pastor Olumide, but this story made me even respect him more! More grace to you sir! You are unstoppable! The devil could not hinder you, sir!
I divorced my husband- I wouldn’t say it was destructive. The marriage was destructive. But one thing I was adamant on, was to keep the relationship between the father and his children. That is important. Now myself and the father are good friends for the sake of the children! It is selfish to use the children against the father because u are not just hurting him but the children also!
Dr. Olumide Emmanuel, I dont judge people on issues of marriage because God is the best judge of all. The joy of all things is that there is no marriage in Heaven. Shalom
I really needed to hear this❤ I 'm 3 months now separated from my husband. I'm a pastor's daughter. The church has abandoned me bcos I left my toxic marriage with our 4 kids. Trying to heal n get my life back. Pt Olu has given hint on how. God bless you n pst Kingsley immensely 🙏
Sister, the church doesn't abandon people. Only congregation does, and those guys were never important na we dey overrate them. Please find a neutral environment where you are not known and begin your journey of social reintegration. Isolation can be more dangerous.
Sometimes we feel pastors are the strongest, but they too are not exempted from the challenges of life. I feel his pain. I wish the children will reach out and learn the truth.
Lord I pray his first 2 kids make contact with this video. Those kids remember their Dad and deep down they know him by the spirit. God bless him for sharing this testimony
My prayer is for God to keep him alive and in sound mind to make up for whatever has been lost in time. I also pray for the Children that they realise soon enough and things will nit be spoilt by the time they come out of this hypnosis.
Most people went through this but couldn't share their experiences... Pst Olu is a real man of God whose life and ministry has blessed millions around the globe. Pst. Kingsley thanks for sharing this with the whole world!!!
Hummm…it’s well. I could feel Pastor Olulide’s pain throughout the video. The bottom line is that divorce is destructive, but our God is redemptive 🙏🏾Thank you dear men of God for this highly educative message 🙏🏾
May God grant us all, the wisdom to identify red flags during friendship and courtship without thinking we can cope with it and the courage to walk away before it ends up in marriage. Amen!
I can completely relate with you sir. In my case it was my husband who was a pastor married to him for almost 9 years I experienced all the forms of abuse but before the marriage I saw the red flags but I thought he was a pastor things wouldn’t be bad… I entered and for almost 9 years with four children but I am out now doing amazingly well with my children. The matter is currently in court… thank you for sharing your story.
Man of God. I salute and respect you for being so honest dealing with bitter but important truths. God can never bless you enough. I am the one that speaks bitter truths in my circles. People don't like me cz of that. But I still stand my grounds. Its a hard road to travel. But my Jesus loves those who tell truth in love until we wake up from our blind slumber
Religion will destroy you if you are not careful. Be a Christian (CHRIST like) that's what we are called to be. Don't let denomination doctrines that came from a personal convictions put you in bondage. God does not have grandchildren, know God yourself. SELAH!
Divorce isn't easy but sometimes necessary. May God help everyone who put effort to make their marriage work and still had to make the difficult but necessary choice to divorce
As soon as he got to where his 4 yr old was asking after his brother and sister, I cried 😢😢. These are the issues with divorce...... It leaves a trail of broken hearts 💔
I was one of the people fasting and praying for the restoration of this marriage until Pastor Olumide gave us a preamble of what was happening in the marriage and you need to see a lot of people crying. Who would have believed Pastor Olumide was going through such hell and yet he minister powerfully on God's altar always. He never allowed he's experience to cloud he's judgement or be biased in he's teachings. God bless you always sir for been a life changer and a transformation agent globally, a lot of us will never forget your impart over our lives.
Thank you so much Pastor Olumide for being so real. The hypocrisy in the church is too much, but God is still very faithful! Someday, I hope to be able to tell my story too.
@@Ebenezer803 I know the difference between ignorance and hypocrisy. And I mean hypocrisy.....high level hypocrisy! Ignorance is when you teach something because you didn't know better (and yes, some are ignorant), but hypocrisy is when you know but cannot correct a wrong stance because you need to keep up an appearance! I have seen it first hand in Nigerian churches.... everybody wants to maintain an appearance of 'holiness', even sometimes holier than God!
@flourishhavenhomes I wrote the piece below some years ago as led at the time: Marriage and divorce (Math 19:3-12, Mal 2:13-16, 1cor 7: 1-17, Eph 5:21-33 MSG) Several controversies has surrounded the subject of marriage, especially in recent times that men have become ‘lovers of themselves’, “follow their own desires and surround themselves with teachers who tell them what they want to hear” (2Ti 4:3). This study will attempt to examine the biblical teachings about marriage and dovorce, especially in the context of Jesus’ teachings as compared to the Jewish (and current/modern) practices. Math 19: 3-12 MSG "One day the Pharisees were badgering him: "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh--no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart." They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?" Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery." Jesus' disciples objected, "If those are the terms of marriage, we're stuck. Why get married?" But Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked--or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it."
These men can leave in the same house with you for 5 years before bringing out their real colour,so it's on both gender is only God that can directs us well to know original😂 😂😂
Questions to ask/document 1. What went wrong? 2. What mistakes did I make? 3. What lessons have I learnt? Wow, so enlightening, thank you for sharing sir.
That driving and loss of mind happened to me when I was going through my divorce too. Some partners are mean in divorce. God really showed up for me. His grace kept me.
I never knew Pst Olumide was the preacher of that popular sermon titled *common sense* for the singles. That sermon has been richly blessing my life since 2018. In short I still listened to it yesterday.
Thank you Pastor Olumide for making yourself vulnerable to help many. We indeed overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony. Church needs to be real and relevant. Thank you for your contribution to this noble cause.
This cross of priesthood is so heavy and can be more burdensome in this our African society where people are more sentimental and judgemental. Sir, I pray The Holy Spirit comforts you and turn your burdens to testimonies of joy in the name of JESUS Christ. Love you Sir
As a child that experienced separation of my parents I can totally relate. My dad had custody of me and one of the effects is that I almost have zero relationship with my mum. We are both still trying to build a relationship. And when I was also around 10 years old, I asked my dad why he wasn’t with my mum when the Bible said Divorce is a sin 😊 (Dad is a Pastor) and he explained. We bless God for the family now and how he has helped us build and I’m grateful that I was brought up to believe and trust the Bible as God’s Word.🎉
@@veetellsit Well, mum & dad were in a relationship… and I was born. They were never married but the relationship got strained and they separated and dad had custody of me. So there couldn’t be a divorce in this case as they were not married. Context: All these happened before dad gave his life to Christ. Years later, he would become born again, get married, become a pastor… to God be the glory. The only not so good thing is that I and my mum’s relationship was strained by proxy and we still trying to build. PS, I’m an adult now 😁
Wonderful interview. I know Dr. Olukoya personally and he is correct about all that he is saying regarding his humility and integrity as a person and a man of God
What I do not understand is why he's saying if Dr olukoya is truthful when he acknowledged that the man was humble and told the lady truthfully that she's made a great mistake
Wow! Just wow! This Pastor is too real. Didn’t know of him until this video. Learnt a whole lot. Thanks for being open and transparent for us younger ones to learn 🙌🏾
Wow! This was really something!! One of the things I am learning this season is that if you ignore red flags, their effects will remain raised in your presence forever!! The fact that he still hasn’t seen his children is really heartbreaking!! Hope the children will know the truth and look for their father!!
Many have walked this path and ended in 6 feet below. Their destiny and chapter closed. Some because of shame and stigma. This interview is divinely inspired.
Hearing pastor Jerry’s marriage story I now believe that marriage is hard work. Christian marriages are going through a lot but no one speaks about it. They used its well to cover everything.
How I wish many singles can learn and act on this. Lessons learnt, don't push red flags aside before marriage. Two, don't allow emotion to cloud your sense of judgement in relationship...
Very true. I was thinking of getting serious with a girl which would have led to marriage, about 20 years ago. Then one day, she showed another side of her which I didn’t know existed just because of a very simple disagreement between us. That was a red flag 🚩 which I decide not to ignore and there and then I made up my mind, she’s not the one for me as wife. As of today, she’s a single mother to 2 kids after her future husband left her too because of her character.
I feel like there’s more to this video. Pk please we need more. Can he talk more about wounded soldiers? Coz it’s something we don’t talk about in church. How do we attend to wounded soldiers who’ve gone through experiences like this? What does counseling look like for them? Etc etc
This is the story of my life 100%. To know that I am not alone...and i can learn from someone who has survived something similar...it gives me peace. Thank you...this video is therapeutic for me
Wow i have had pastor Olumide as a mentor for a while now. Listening to this i now know where the wisdom is coming from, experience is the best teacher indeed
Dear Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, I wish to thank you and your wife for being faithful in your assignments! Both of you are blessings to many, including me🙋🏾♀ May the LORD God be with you always🙏🏾
This video is therapeutic in many ways. Thanks for being so vulnerable Dr Olumide. God will continue to bless and keep you relevant. Restoration is here! God bless you PK.
Thank you pastors. Is just a pity that l come across this video now. I've waited about 34years in a terrible relationship due to lack of knowledge and ignorance base based on religion or belief. My concern now is where do l start from. Even, my spouse opened his mouth to say, "it is finished for my enemy. Thank you pastor Olumide Emmanuel. I need your advice and counsel sir. I have no issue in the marriage and I am of age.
Sir,it takes a real man,a genuine man of GOD to share this privacy, i respect the GRACE of GOD upon your life, I conclude to say you cannot judge a man whom you don't know where he his coming from.
The way Pastor K is shook from his story 😂😂😂 thank you for sharing Pastor. Abuse is inexcusable, thank you for using your pain to bless us with these learnings. Men go through terrible relationship experiences too!
I am beginning to Love Pastor Olumide Emmanuel. I like the fact that he is practical and not hypocritical. Clergy Members in his capacity wouldn't be this sincere. Most times religion makes us package so much, that we can't wake up to reality. God Bless You Sir.
Going through the comments, it's simply amazing how people are really opening up and coming out to talk about these issues. May God help us to really apply our hearts to wisdom.
Dr Olumide's story was very inspiring. And knowing he went through all those and still standing... kai, the grace of God will continue to abound in you sir... Relax sir, God got you!... The Lord will restore all that you lost
This is a real man of God.... very practical, very honest and intelligent. I pray you get to see your children one day. I still don't understand why one patner will deny another acces to his/her kids. It's wickedness!
Wow! I was attending Pastor's church at Ikotun then. Calvary Ministries and didn't miss any wisdom for singles program. Left to Port Harcourt and when I heard about the divorce, I was heart broken. Of course, it was that he left his wife that picked him up from the gutter and established him and he left her for a younger woman. Thank you Pastor for coming out to tell us the truth. Please forgive me for believing all that. May God keep you and continue to use you as a light in this dark world.
Holy Ghost Fire 🔥 Devil is a liar....! God forbid evil. May God Almighty show you mercy and grant you strength of the Holy Ghost, Man of God. Remain Blessed, Sir!
Great to see the (Nigerian) church discuss divorce and remarriage openly. Unfortunately, many Christians are still victims and can't remarry because churches refuse to wed them simply because of complicated separations/divorces similar to Pastor Olumide's. May Christ continue to be the centre of the church (Christians) and may broken people find solace there. Amen.
The mental health challenge that men face from divorce is something most people that has never experienced it won’t understand. It lives even with the kids. Be very careful who you marry because the wrong choice will not only ruin you but can ruin future generations.
I got a divorce because of toxic family interference but I ensured the children had their father in their lives at all costs. Women must not make their children pay for the divorce by demonizing their ex-husbands regardless! Its harder when the west legal system seems to reward you more if the man is totally enstranged from the children's lives. We need to keep praying for Christian marriages. Especially those with huge western influence.
Wow! You're of a rare breed my sister....your 'kindred' more often than not take the contrary stance, sowing seeds of bitterness and discord in the heart of the kids; worsening the situation. Kudos my sister..kudos!!
1 Corinthians 7:39 - The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. Mark 10:12 - And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Romans 7:2 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:10-14 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
What a wow! Life is lived forward but, understood backward. "And Joseph thought in his mind to put her away privately." This is a valid punch line scripture that ended the saga according to God's will. This is such a touching story. God bless you Pastor Olunide Emmanuel, for sharing your experience to the upliftment of godly marriages and the Body of Christ. ❤
I spend my life serving God and when marriage came l got married and within a year m half l was accused by so called husband for committing adultery and that how the marriage failed and ended up in divorce. It was not easy the hurts pains n tears but thank God l went for therapy n today am healed and have inner peace given to me by God. Don't die somewhere u ain't valued
This moved me to tears. I love the authenticity and transparency of this story. More grace to you PK for hosting this and more grace to you Dr Emmanuel for sharing your story
Thanks Pastor K for bringing this topic up and choosing Pastor Olumide to speak. He's very real and I feel his pain, coming from a dysfunctional family myself. I also feel for his ex. God perhaps wanted to bring healing to her life but she missed it? Only Him knows. May the Lord help His people not to miss the day of their visitation.
Wow! We salute you Pastor Olumide for sharing your pain and scars with us and thank you Pastor Kingsley for insisting we know and grow in the truth. God continue to bless and prosper you both. 🙏🙏
I think men don't talk enough about the pain of divorce, the vacuum that might never get filled and the emotional scar you deal with from time to time. The questions you might never get answers to, the depression you fight endlessly to get free from... It's an excruciatingly pain that comes from inside that only God can heal you from... And it all starts by letting go and letting God lead.., and that's the hardest part.. 😪😪😪 There's definitely a reason God made me see the video today. It's well with my soul.
This is exactly my case. It's almost 4 years I haven't set my eyes on my kids. Divorce is so so bad, it dealt with me ,but I prefer to remain strong. When you're getting married, vet properly , ensure your partner has the value of marriage imbibed in them, make sure she contributes something tangible in the marriage, there must be commitment. My marriage lacked that everything that stood the marriage Wass by me from the beginning. Divorce is actually messy, it's just more painful that the innocent children bear the brunt. Most women are just bitter and lack what it means to understand that the divorce is between them and the man, not the kids. Regardless, we move.
Pastor Olumide, you made me cry, thank you for sharing your mess, and I thank God for your life, am a marriage counselor, your testimony has taught me new lesson, thank you Sir
It is now very obvious that some Pastors preach in a certain way from the depth of life’s experiences and pain. This message was inspiring and uplifting. I pray Pastor Olumide’s two children find God and be led home.
I overcome such monese of thinking about denying the dad father not to see his children on my knees! It was impossible for me to do this after he divorced me because of how I raised up my children !! We went through tourture in his hands . My children could literally ran to the bedroom to pretend they were sleeping when he entered but I spoke wisdom in them!! He is their father and nothing could change it. It was hard but a blessing of a father on his children no one else can fill that gap. On my knees and word of mouth , Godly instruction , I gave them. Today, he married but if the children want to see their father, they have to. It's foolishness to stress kids on this issue. People must fight their own battle away from children! I thank God he gave me wisdom and grace. Am forever greatful to God!!
Wow! You're of a rare breed my sister....your 'kindred' more often than not take the contrary stance, sowing seeds of bitterness and discord in the heart of the kids; worsening the situation. Kudos my sister..kudos!!
Sir,you have impacted many lives.I have some of your books and has really helped me in Pastoral ministry of 27 years.Am highly touched by your story sir and your courage is a great source of encouragement to me.Keep on with the good work sir,may God continue to keep you sir
I've been here, and I understand perfectly what a toxic and abusive marriage is. We should be grateful to God that he is alive and still fulfilling ministry. The aim was to stop him from fulfilling his calling, more grace. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
She was a Narcissist that's all! My step sisters husband spoke with me for the first time after they've been married for 10years and I believe everything he said she does to him. I have lived with her before she got married and can conveniently say she's wicked!. If you offend her knowingly or unknowingly you will pay dearly for it. And she's never wrong. My mum could not do much because she didn't want people to say she's mal treating her step daughter but we paid dearly for it. Her husband is in marriage prison for life.
Vital lessons:
1. Never ignore or downplay the red flags 🚩.
2. Don’t think you can change any grown man or woman.
3. Avoid any man or woman who hasn’t healed from past bad relationships.
4. The fact that you’re the best for them doesn’t mean that they’re the best for you.
Very vital points you highlighted. The signs were evident from the very beginning but unfortunately ignored. I sensed in my spirit that something went wrong at a particular point( which was mentioned during the course of the interview)
You are blessed for your observations.
I agree with you about healing but she has deeper issues. Most parents don't train their children well they focus more on religion. I see this with my sister in law children.
@@oge82You just hit the nail on the head!!!!
Healing isn't easy
And the fact that he/she said sorry after heating/hurting you during courtship does not mean that he/she has changed
I had the chance to marry a nurse and a preacher . I chose the preacher. We ended the marriage after three years . Abusive Christian relationship is the most common but unspoken dark topic happening in the body of Christ ! Most Men of God weep secretly with deep regrets. It’s now a blackmail issue with Pastors. I am a pastor although not full time , I almost chose to marry a Muslim lady why ? We need total honesty, love and Submission which is lacking in most Christian women.
This needs to be pinned
God please help me 😢
Hmmmm!
Only a few will understand the pain.
You need to share more
With hindsight now, I will not make that mistake again
History must never repeat itself, take note;
1. What went wrong?
2. What mistakes did I make?
3. What lessons have i learnt?
❤❤❤
Documents it
My encounter with Dr Olumide Emmanuel was in 2008 as a Security Guard in his newly built house somewhere in Southwest Nigeria where I worked for about six months. He is a great mind, full of wisdom. I read one of his books then "Singles, thou arth loosed" and instantly got inspiration to pen down a book.
We were told that his wife and two children were in America as he often travel to America with bags loaded with his written books.
We use to wonder why a rich Pastor and entrepreneur of his caliber was living all alone.
You have impacted many lives Sir and I believe those children will look for you at the appointed time.
Amen 🙏🏻
They will definitely one day
"We use to wonder why a rich Pastor and entrepreneur of his caliber was living all alone." This seems to happen very often.
I have great respect for Pastor Olumide, but this story made me even respect him more! More grace to you sir! You are unstoppable! The devil could not hinder you, sir!
Yes, I believe so. They will look for you.
Amen
Learn to leave on time, you can't change a full grown adult.
Pain makes people extremely wise
I divorced my husband- I wouldn’t say it was destructive. The marriage was destructive. But one thing I was adamant on, was to keep the relationship between the father and his children. That is important. Now myself and the father are good friends for the sake of the children! It is selfish to use the children against the father because u are not just hurting him but the children also!
Vvççz😢🎉🎉
Valid !
But note he who married a woman that is divorce have committed an adultery, am not the one who wrote it, I come in peace
@@uchegodstime4714 thank you
Very interesting story, all l know is that no one is without a cross and no one is perfect
Dr. Olumide Emmanuel,
I dont judge people on issues of marriage because God is the best judge of all.
The joy of all things is that there is no marriage in Heaven.
Shalom
I really needed to hear this❤ I 'm 3 months now separated from my husband. I'm a pastor's daughter. The church has abandoned me bcos I left my toxic marriage with our 4 kids. Trying to heal n get my life back. Pt Olu has given hint on how. God bless you n pst Kingsley immensely 🙏
May the good Lord supply grace unto you, wonderful daughter of Zion. You'll conquer.
Sister, the church doesn't abandon people. Only congregation does, and those guys were never important na we dey overrate them.
Please find a neutral environment where you are not known and begin your journey of social reintegration. Isolation can be more dangerous.
God loves you sis.
I pray he upholds you.
Believe me you are not alone in this. Try to find your stability and your peace in it all.
I wish you well darling
GOD bless you my sister. Some pastors are worse than infidels
A good lesson to not just judge or criticize people without knowing their story
But you have not listened to the ex wife either.
@@TheLegend-uq1gz there's no reason that will justify a wife's decision to keep kids away from their father, when he's not hurting them.
The mental anguish he mentioned is my exact life. At 50 years, I still cry missing my children and the life I envisioned for them.
Sometimes we feel pastors are the strongest, but they too are not exempted from the challenges of life. I feel his pain. I wish the children will reach out and learn the truth.
We think this way,when we see these titled men as God. Having the title "Pastor " has deceived many not see themselves as brothers anymore.
Lord I pray his first 2 kids make contact with this video. Those kids remember their
Dad and deep down they know him by the spirit. God bless him for sharing this testimony
Amen!
Amen
My prayer is for God to keep him alive and in sound mind to make up for whatever has been lost in time. I also pray for the Children that they realise soon enough and things will nit be spoilt by the time they come out of this hypnosis.
Amen
Most people went through this but couldn't share their experiences... Pst Olu is a real man of God whose life and ministry has blessed millions around the globe. Pst. Kingsley thanks for sharing this with the whole world!!!
Life is lived forward but understood backwards.
Thank you sir ❤❤❤
Hummm…it’s well. I could feel Pastor Olulide’s pain throughout the video. The bottom line is that divorce is destructive, but our God is redemptive 🙏🏾Thank you dear men of God for this highly educative message 🙏🏾
How i wished i had this kind of enlightenment, i would not have wasted 10years of my life, waiting in a marriage that was already over.
Hmmm
Chai I pray God to heal all your broken heart Amen 🙏
May God grant us all, the wisdom to identify red flags during friendship and courtship without thinking we can cope with it and the courage to walk away before it ends up in marriage. Amen!
You just spoke my mind exactly..
The struggles people face in marriages are usually as a result of the red flags they ignore during courtship..
Amen 🙏
Even with green flags, people still show you shege in marriage, I tell you.
Even with green flags, people still show you shege in marriage, I tell you.
Amen and Amen🙏🏾
Many women are prayer worries but reading the word being calm and gentle respecting their husbands that's where they draw the line😢
Dr. Emmanuel is telling the truth.
I know him personally.
We lived in North Peckham Estate in the 90's.
Wao ,so you mean Pastor Olumide had lived here in the UK in the 90s?
hmnn
Pastor Olumide is a real man of God, I attended the wedding, he tries to make the marriage work but she was hardened.
Jesus Christ God abeg oh
I can completely relate with you sir. In my case it was my husband who was a pastor married to him for almost 9 years I experienced all the forms of abuse but before the marriage I saw the red flags but I thought he was a pastor things wouldn’t be bad… I entered and for almost 9 years with four children but I am out now doing amazingly well with my children. The matter is currently in court… thank you for sharing your story.
Hmmmm one thing I have seen here is never let your guards down even if he or she is a pastor......
You may likely regret it
Yes o
We also need to stay away from toxic doctrines. I.e let's ask God for the grace to forgive others and also watch out for the root of bitterness!
Story of my life
Can i please contact you?
We thank God for this testimony. I got a divorce and I thought it was my end but God is good I know I will speak of my marital settlement very soon.
Amen!
Please tell me
Amen
The respect, I now have for Dr Emmanuel has gone up by 1000%. Wow. You are such an inspiration. I am speechless.
Man of God. I salute and respect you for being so honest dealing with bitter but important truths. God can never bless you enough. I am the one that speaks bitter truths in my circles. People don't like me cz of that. But I still stand my grounds. Its a hard road to travel. But my Jesus loves those who tell truth in love until we wake up from our blind slumber
I concur! We must not give up the habit of praying for men and women of God🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙇🏾♀️🙇🏾♀️
As in 2000%..hmmn!
Pastor’s kids are now adults, I really hope they see this and get back with him. 😢
Religion will destroy you if you are not careful. Be a Christian (CHRIST like) that's what we are called to be.
Don't let denomination doctrines that came from a personal convictions put you in bondage. God does not have grandchildren, know God yourself.
SELAH!
"People don't know the pain of divorce" still wandering why I found this today of all days!
Divorce isn't easy but sometimes necessary. May God help everyone who put effort to make their marriage work and still had to make the difficult but necessary choice to divorce
Amen
As soon as he got to where his 4 yr old was asking after his brother and sister, I cried 😢😢. These are the issues with divorce...... It leaves a trail of broken hearts 💔
God help us.
So true. Divorce is not easy on anyone especially when children are involved.
I pray and hope the wife's family can help him reconnect with his children. Lord have mercy
I am the one that filed for divorce!😊 Pastor is too real
Life is lived forward but understood backwards
I was one of the people fasting and praying for the restoration of this marriage until Pastor Olumide gave us a preamble of what was happening in the marriage and you need to see a lot of people crying. Who would have believed Pastor Olumide was going through such hell and yet he minister powerfully on God's altar always. He never allowed he's experience to cloud he's judgement or be biased in he's teachings.
God bless you always sir for been a life changer and a transformation agent globally, a lot of us will never forget your impart over our lives.
I will testify my own story one day,God knows everything,am a great testimony, but when I get money am coming out, honestly
Same here 4 years gone but I am hoping for the better
Thank you so much Pastor Olumide for being so real. The hypocrisy in the church is too much, but God is still very faithful! Someday, I hope to be able to tell my story too.
Pastor went through a whole. He has just got to be real. God bless Pastor Olumide.
What you call hypocrisy is borne out of ignorance in some cases.
Better hypocrisy
@@Ebenezer803 I know the difference between ignorance and hypocrisy. And I mean hypocrisy.....high level hypocrisy! Ignorance is when you teach something because you didn't know better (and yes, some are ignorant), but hypocrisy is when you know but cannot correct a wrong stance because you need to keep up an appearance! I have seen it first hand in Nigerian churches.... everybody wants to maintain an appearance of 'holiness', even sometimes holier than God!
@flourishhavenhomes I wrote the piece below some years ago as led at the time:
Marriage and divorce (Math 19:3-12, Mal 2:13-16,
1cor 7: 1-17, Eph 5:21-33 MSG)
Several controversies has surrounded the subject of marriage, especially in recent times
that men have become ‘lovers of themselves’, “follow their own desires and surround
themselves with teachers who tell them what they want to hear” (2Ti 4:3). This study
will attempt to examine the biblical teachings about marriage and dovorce, especially in
the context of Jesus’ teachings as compared to the Jewish (and current/modern)
practices.
Math 19: 3-12 MSG
"One day the Pharisees were badgering him: "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any
reason? He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man
and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and
mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh--no longer two bodies but one.
Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art
by cutting them apart." They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give
instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?" Jesus said, "Moses provided for
divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan.
I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your
faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse
has committed adultery." Jesus' disciples objected, "If those are the terms of marriage,
we're stuck. Why get married?" But Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a
married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone. Some,
from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked--or accepted.
And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you're capable of growing
into the largeness of marriage, do it."
Singles, never ignore those red flags in courtship! RUN! RUN AWAY! RUN VERY FAR AWAY!
but the question is, who will you find, without a red flag... Those perfect people are angels... earth itself is a biiiiig red flag
These men can leave in the same house with you for 5 years before bringing out their real colour,so it's on both gender is only God that can directs us well to know original😂 😂😂
People perish for lack of knowledge, not lack of prayer 😅
Please is there any link to part one
Questions to ask/document
1. What went wrong?
2. What mistakes did I make?
3. What lessons have I learnt?
Wow, so enlightening, thank you for sharing sir.
@@eunicekarikari yes, just type kingsley okonkwo teachings then you can search it out.
@@eunicekarikariLook for the video called “Is Divorce a Sin or Acceptable by God” on this same channel, it’s the last video posted before this one
True… we even need knowledge to pray effectively
That driving and loss of mind happened to me when I was going through my divorce too. Some partners are mean in divorce. God really showed up for me. His grace kept me.
It's well
I woke up when a truck clipped my passenger side mirror and dented the door. He wasn't mean, his Solicitor was. 😅😅😅😅
1. What went wrong?
2. What mistakes did I make?
3. What lessons did I learn?
These are the three processes of healing.
Hmmm...I noted that too
Respectfully, healing is not for everyone because either one or both entered the relationship with a wrong intent.
0
Am so sorry for the Pain... Thank you Pastor Kingsley and Pastor Olumide for this. Very Therapeutic. It is well
I never knew Pst Olumide was the preacher of that popular sermon titled *common sense* for the singles. That sermon has been richly blessing my life since 2018. In short I still listened to it yesterday.
Pls, how can I get that particular sermon?
Just search for common sense by Olumide Emmanuel
God take control over our lives
Know God for yourself because only Him will be our comforter in the day of trouble
" You need help, but i can't help you to the detriment of myself." Wow well done sir.
This man is too practical.
Divorce is painful and people will judge without understanding the reason for leaving the marriage. People are always quick to judge.
Thank you Pastor Olumide for making yourself vulnerable to help many. We indeed overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony. Church needs to be real and relevant. Thank you for your contribution to this noble cause.
This cross of priesthood is so heavy and can be more burdensome in this our African society where people are more sentimental and judgemental.
Sir, I pray The Holy Spirit comforts you and turn your burdens to testimonies of joy in the name of JESUS Christ. Love you Sir
Exactly, my brother. Yet we are so quick to judge them😢😢😢😢
As a child that experienced separation of my parents I can totally relate. My dad had custody of me and one of the effects is that I almost have zero relationship with my mum. We are both still trying to build a relationship.
And when I was also around 10 years old, I asked my dad why he wasn’t with my mum when the Bible said Divorce is a sin 😊 (Dad is a Pastor) and he explained.
We bless God for the family now and how he has helped us build and I’m grateful that I was brought up to believe and trust the Bible as God’s Word.🎉
What was the explanation
please what was the explanation
@@veetellsit Well, mum & dad were in a relationship… and I was born. They were never married but the relationship got strained and they separated and dad had custody of me. So there couldn’t be a divorce in this case as they were not married.
Context: All these happened before dad gave his life to Christ. Years later, he would become born again, get married, become a pastor… to God be the glory.
The only not so good thing is that I and my mum’s relationship was strained by proxy and we still trying to build. PS, I’m an adult now 😁
I can relate with your story.
My story the reverse is the case. Mom took custody of me and my siblings. Till now almost zero relationship with my dad
Divorce is painful.
Very very painful!!
May God help us all
Wonderful interview. I know Dr. Olukoya personally and he is correct about all that he is saying regarding his humility and integrity as a person and a man of God
What I do not understand is why he's saying if Dr olukoya is truthful when he acknowledged that the man was humble and told the lady truthfully that she's made a great mistake
Wow! Just wow! This Pastor is too real. Didn’t know of him until this video. Learnt a whole lot. Thanks for being open and transparent for us younger ones to learn 🙌🏾
Wow! This was really something!! One of the things I am learning this season is that if you ignore red flags, their effects will remain raised in your presence forever!! The fact that he still hasn’t seen his children is really heartbreaking!! Hope the children will know the truth and look for their father!!
They sure will
He is not making enough efforts to build relationships with his kids.
@@TheLegend-uq1gz how sir?
Many have walked this path and ended in 6 feet below. Their destiny and chapter closed. Some because of shame and stigma. This interview is divinely inspired.
Hearing pastor Jerry’s marriage story I now believe that marriage is hard work. Christian marriages are going through a lot but no one speaks about it. They used its well to cover everything.
How I wish many singles can learn and act on this. Lessons learnt, don't push red flags aside before marriage. Two, don't allow emotion to cloud your sense of judgement in relationship...
Very true.
I was thinking of getting serious with a girl which would have led to marriage, about 20 years ago.
Then one day, she showed another side of her which I didn’t know existed just because of a very simple disagreement between us.
That was a red flag 🚩 which I decide not to ignore and there and then I made up my mind, she’s not the one for me as wife.
As of today, she’s a single mother to 2 kids after her future husband left her too because of her character.
Proud of Dr DK Olukoya of MFM ,i bless GOD for his life
I feel like there’s more to this video. Pk please we need more. Can he talk more about wounded soldiers? Coz it’s something we don’t talk about in church. How do we attend to wounded soldiers who’ve gone through experiences like this? What does counseling look like for them? Etc etc
Yes yes yes! I'm a victim of wounded soldiers in the hand of brethren. But I thank the God of all healings
I’m just praying that by June 2024 my settlement and divorce will be final. God has been gracious throughout the stormy waters of divorce!
This is the story of my life 100%. To know that I am not alone...and i can learn from someone who has survived something similar...it gives me peace.
Thank you...this video is therapeutic for me
It is well. . .
😢😢
I can feel the pain.
I like how open and honest this Pastor is. Life is real. Divorce is real and it can cause stress.
We need to speak up more about men in abusive relationships !
Wow i have had pastor Olumide as a mentor for a while now. Listening to this i now know where the wisdom is coming from, experience is the best teacher indeed
Dear Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo,
I wish to thank you and your wife for being faithful in your assignments!
Both of you are blessings to many, including me🙋🏾♀
May the LORD God be with you always🙏🏾
This video is therapeutic in many ways. Thanks for being so vulnerable Dr Olumide.
God will continue to bless and keep you relevant. Restoration is here!
God bless you PK.
Thank you pastors. Is just a pity that l come across this video now. I've waited about 34years in a terrible relationship due to lack of knowledge and ignorance base based on religion or belief. My concern now is where do l start from. Even, my spouse opened his mouth to say, "it is finished for my enemy. Thank you pastor Olumide Emmanuel. I need your advice and counsel sir. I have no issue in the marriage and I am of age.
Sir,it takes a real man,a genuine man of GOD to share this privacy, i respect the GRACE of GOD upon your life, I conclude to say you cannot judge a man whom you don't know where he his coming from.
Am humbled by such confessions of an African man 😮
The way Pastor K is shook from his story 😂😂😂 thank you for sharing Pastor. Abuse is inexcusable, thank you for using your pain to bless us with these learnings. Men go through terrible relationship experiences too!
No be small thing oo😂😂😂
I am beginning to Love Pastor Olumide Emmanuel.
I like the fact that he is practical and not hypocritical. Clergy Members in his capacity wouldn't be this sincere.
Most times religion makes us package so much, that we can't wake up to reality.
God Bless You Sir.
Going through the comments, it's simply amazing how people are really opening up and coming out to talk about these issues. May God help us to really apply our hearts to wisdom.
Dr Olumide's story was very inspiring. And knowing he went through all those and still standing... kai, the grace of God will continue to abound in you sir... Relax sir, God got you!... The Lord will restore all that you lost
Amen
This is a real man of God.... very practical, very honest and intelligent.
I pray you get to see your children one day.
I still don't understand why one patner will deny another acces to his/her kids. It's wickedness!
Wow! I was attending Pastor's church at Ikotun then. Calvary Ministries and didn't miss any wisdom for singles program. Left to Port Harcourt and when I heard about the divorce, I was heart broken. Of course, it was that he left his wife that picked him up from the gutter and established him and he left her for a younger woman. Thank you Pastor for coming out to tell us the truth. Please forgive me for believing all that. May God keep you and continue to use you as a light in this dark world.
You can heal alot of people by simply telling your story which is another form of Gospel that can heal most time than preaching.
Holy Ghost Fire 🔥
Devil is a liar....!
God forbid evil.
May God Almighty show you mercy and grant you strength of the Holy Ghost, Man of God.
Remain Blessed, Sir!
Great to see the (Nigerian) church discuss divorce and remarriage openly. Unfortunately, many Christians are still victims and can't remarry because churches refuse to wed them simply because of complicated separations/divorces similar to Pastor Olumide's. May Christ continue to be the centre of the church (Christians) and may broken people find solace there. Amen.
Amen🙏🏾
Dr Olumide is the real man here. Thanks for sharing sir, I'm just laughing like pastor K. You both are amazing ❤❤❤❤
Wow! I pray his children find their way back to him, why am I feeling so sad🥲may God heal him completely.
Marriage is wonderful;it is the living together that is hell. - Dr Myles Munroe.
The mental health challenge that men face from divorce is something most people that has never experienced it won’t understand. It lives even with the kids. Be very careful who you marry because the wrong choice will not only ruin you but can ruin future generations.
Even the interviewer was shocked 😳 , 😂😂😂 P.K eyes 👀 were open all through the interview 😂😂😂
I got a divorce because of toxic family interference but I ensured the children had their father in their lives at all costs. Women must not make their children pay for the divorce by demonizing their ex-husbands regardless! Its harder when the west legal system seems to reward you more if the man is totally enstranged from the children's lives. We need to keep praying for Christian marriages. Especially those with huge western influence.
Thanks for your thoughts: they are instructive.
MAY THE GOOD LORD GOD JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY NAME AMEN
Wow! You're of a rare breed my sister....your 'kindred' more often than not take the contrary stance, sowing seeds of bitterness and discord in the heart of the kids; worsening the situation. Kudos my sister..kudos!!
Family interference is the worse that can ever happen in marriage. Especially when they're so so toxic and hate boundaries
1 Corinthians 7:39 - The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
Mark 10:12 - And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Romans 7:2 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:10-14
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
What a wow!
Life is lived forward but, understood backward.
"And Joseph thought in his mind to put her away privately."
This is a valid punch line scripture that ended the saga according to God's will.
This is such a touching story. God bless you Pastor Olunide Emmanuel, for sharing your experience to the upliftment of godly marriages and the Body of Christ. ❤
I spend my life serving God and when marriage came l got married and within a year m half l was accused by so called husband for committing adultery and that how the marriage failed and ended up in divorce. It was not easy the hurts pains n tears but thank God l went for therapy n today am healed and have inner peace given to me by God. Don't die somewhere u ain't valued
That's always how they start oh
This moved me to tears. I love the authenticity and transparency of this story. More grace to you PK for hosting this and more grace to you Dr Emmanuel for sharing your story
The children are coming for you soon. Thank God you are finally able to air it
I need to follow this man… I am in the same situation but I can’t move on six 6 years now. But I believe God will help me
I attended Wisdom for singles in 1998, so powerful. It's well with our homes.
Amen and amen
Thanks Pastor K for bringing this topic up and choosing Pastor Olumide to speak. He's very real and I feel his pain, coming from a dysfunctional family myself. I also feel for his ex. God perhaps wanted to bring healing to her life but she missed it? Only Him knows. May the Lord help His people not to miss the day of their visitation.
Life is lived forward but understood backwards!!
Deep!!
Wow! We salute you Pastor Olumide for sharing your pain and scars with us and thank you Pastor Kingsley for insisting we know and grow in the truth. God continue to bless and prosper you both. 🙏🙏
I think men don't talk enough about the pain of divorce, the vacuum that might never get filled and the emotional scar you deal with from time to time.
The questions you might never get answers to, the depression you fight endlessly to get free from...
It's an excruciatingly pain that comes from inside that only God can heal you from...
And it all starts by letting go and letting God lead.., and that's the hardest part.. 😪😪😪
There's definitely a reason God made me see the video today.
It's well with my soul.
You are very correct. I'm very shocked to hear all this it's so heartbreaking 💔 😢
Honestly is not easy
The Lord uphold you.
This is exactly my case. It's almost 4 years I haven't set my eyes on my kids. Divorce is so so bad, it dealt with me ,but I prefer to remain strong. When you're getting married, vet properly , ensure your partner has the value of marriage imbibed in them, make sure she contributes something tangible in the marriage, there must be commitment. My marriage lacked that everything that stood the marriage Wass by me from the beginning. Divorce is actually messy, it's just more painful that the innocent children bear the brunt. Most women are just bitter and lack what it means to understand that the divorce is between them and the man, not the kids. Regardless, we move.
Which I am contemplating to embark as from May 2025............
Pastor Olumide, you made me cry, thank you for sharing your mess, and I thank God for your life, am a marriage counselor, your testimony has taught me new lesson, thank you Sir
It is now very obvious that some Pastors preach in a certain way from the depth of life’s experiences and pain. This message was inspiring and uplifting. I pray Pastor Olumide’s two children find God and be led home.
I overcome such monese of thinking about denying the dad father not to see his children on my knees! It was impossible for me to do this after he divorced me because of how I raised up my children !! We went through tourture in his hands . My children could literally ran to the bedroom to pretend they were sleeping when he entered but I spoke wisdom in them!! He is their father and nothing could change it. It was hard but a blessing of a father on his children no one else can fill that gap. On my knees and word of mouth , Godly instruction , I gave them. Today, he married but if the children want to see their father, they have to. It's foolishness to stress kids on this issue. People must fight their own battle away from children! I thank God he gave me wisdom and grace. Am forever greatful to God!!
Wow! You're of a rare breed my sister....your 'kindred' more often than not take the contrary stance, sowing seeds of bitterness and discord in the heart of the kids; worsening the situation. Kudos my sister..kudos!!
Sir,you have impacted many lives.I have some of your books and has really helped me in Pastoral ministry of 27 years.Am highly touched by your story sir and your courage is a great source of encouragement to me.Keep on with the good work sir,may God continue to keep you sir
This man's story resonates with exactly what I'm going through right now.
Please free yourself
Oh wow
😢
@@victoremeruwa4330 it's so difficult cos I've been afraid she might run away with my kids...I've been dying for the past 8 years
@@blessingisaac3372 😢
I've been here, and I understand perfectly what a toxic and abusive marriage is. We should be grateful to God that he is alive and still fulfilling ministry. The aim was to stop him from fulfilling his calling, more grace. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
When family get involved in your day to day marriage affairs forget that marriage it’s over
Period
Facts my experience with my mum but thank God my marriage is still alive and I’m trying to detach from my mum.
I love the shock on pastor Kingsley's face.
She was a Narcissist that's all!
My step sisters husband spoke with me for the first time after they've been married for 10years and I believe everything he said she does to him. I have lived with her before she got married and can conveniently say she's wicked!.
If you offend her knowingly or unknowingly you will pay dearly for it. And she's never wrong. My mum could not do much because she didn't want people to say she's mal treating her step daughter but we paid dearly for it. Her husband is in marriage prison for life.
Hmmm, Marriage prison 😔
I would lie this man shave my brain by watching this show pls keep bringing people like this to this show