How to Win D&D in 5 Easy Steps!
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- Опубликовано: 6 авг 2023
- Ever wondered how to win Dungeons and Dragons and defeat the Dungeon Master in D&D 5th Edition? Well Loot Goblin from Loot Goblin Marketplace is here to answer it for you. Don't let the other players and the Dungeon Master get in the way of your destiny!
Big fan of both Matt Mercer and Brennan Lee Mulligan, but I had to out the secret on how to beat any DM. Here is advice on how to become a deity and learn how to become overpowered with this build. Become a god by just using these 5 easy steps!
#dnd #dungeonsanddragons #ttrpg
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wow i can’t believe how goblin broke after reading all those horror stories he has now become that which he was against
I realized that it’s the community that is the problem, the problem player was right all along!
Goblin is playing 4d chess while we’re all playing checkers
😂
He lived long enuff 2 become a villain
Goblin mode engaged.
In order to be safe from the horror stories, you must become the horror story.
Now you’re getting it!
Fun fact: the DM becomes infinitely more likely to give you that item you need if he has a gun pointed at his face. Now I'm no mathematician, but that seems like a favourable odds to me.
Do prisons have a good DnD community? You’d need to know before threatening someone with a real weapon over a fantasy game. And if you try this in the prison, the DM will not budge because of experience, dealing with other people who have threatened them.
@@gutsmasterson2488 hmmm... This is important to consider, you're right. I suppose my statistical estimate remains accurate until the law catches up with you. After that I imagine the success-rate lowers quite a bit. Once in prison your tactics would have to change since it has probably become standard procedure there...
Every time it's time for the DM to distribute loot everyone's handgun slams to the table. The DM, having to deal with this everyday, simply looks them all in the eye as he gives them 4 paintings worth 25GP each. By now they have all learned what us law abiding losers have not: A dead DM, is a silent DM. And a silent DM, can't provide Loot.
This strategy is a bold one but I appreciate its straight forward approach.
Loot Goblin’s guide on how to be 'That Guy' in 5 easy steps.
You right about that 😂
Player: "Hahahaha I have won!"
Dm: Rips bookstack of character sheet. "No I think not."
Player ; *Pulls out gun* Are you sure about dat ?
@@adrioumario1369 DM: Well, you can try and keep me. I am the only DM in town.
Me when the SWAT team bursts though the door:are you
I think that might be the winning move!
Absolutely perfect satire, D&Dorks need more of this. Bless you Mr. Gobbo.
Thank you, I hope to have more soon!
“You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the sith, not join them!”
I’m sorry, the call of the horror stories was too enticing
@@lootgoblinmarketplace_YOU WERE OUR DUNGEON MASTER, LOOT GOBLIN.. WE LOVED YOU..!_
Loot Goblin said: "execute the players", not "players' characters"...
😦 Oh no, you’re right
@@lootgoblinmarketplace Well, no players means no players' characters...
It's almost like the process the player of Old Man Henderson used, but with less restraint, or moral scruples lol
I love Old Man Henderson’s story. I hope to have a story that caliber one day!
@@lootgoblinmarketplace it's a great one, I'm still trying to refind this really amazing story that sadly was part of an "inspiring dnd stories" compilation video. It was some homebrew overly edgy grimdark campaign (bunch of teenage friends) where the GM and other players except one were basically on board with basically an evil setting. The one lawful good player ended up beating the BBEG and inspiring the GM and other players to try a more positive and hopeful game where he was the GM. @_@ Weirdest thing, no matter what details I search for, I can't find it.
Solid advice, I'll try this next time I play and report back with how it went!
Spoiler warning:
It went poorly.
I’ll try too
i love this style of video so much! would love to see a guide on how to run a railroady campaign so my players can have fun in the exact way i intended them to
Honestly that’s a great premise too. I wanted to make a parody because I feel like a lot of the horror stories I read always seem to have a player or a DM who sees everyone else as an opponent.
That's the point where I would stop playing D&D and just, for a brief moment play Chez Geek. Just to play the 'Justifiable Homicide' card.
Thanks to this video, I can now become the true, dungeons & dragons
There can be only one true dungeons & dragons so act fast!
Satire aside, this honestly sounds like a decent way to make a PCBBEG, minus the manipulation of the DM of course.
Actually yea, it’d be a cool twist
So, I've not pulled any of this, but I have spoken to my DM and given him ample material to generate a BBEG from characters I've created (primary and backup). It's a really fun concept that I don't see explored enough! Why have the predictable "friendly NPC is secretly evil" trope when you can have the party rogue that's done nothing but help the party for the past two in-game years secretly be plotting to backstab them at the finish line?
I could see that actually being kind of fun especially if the PC is a good role player that truly is trying to have the twist and following encounters fun.
But how do you stop "rocks fall, YOU die"?
You got to be really annoying at the table until the DM’s will to resist has been destroyed. He might wraith at least 2-3 characters before that though
This is horrible, I love it.
Thank you, I just want to help everyone be winners 💪
One option to stop it early is to tell them that they have to get you the 2nd half before session 1 so you can approve it.
If you did not for some reason and were basically forced to approve the adventurer's league stuff, counter them by becoming the horror story of a DM
You're Lawful Good? You just killed your party for power, so how about chaotic evil. You're a variant human who worships the god Bahamut, which he is related to? You would most likely be a dragonborn, and since you definitely broke your oath by now, you get to be an oathbreaker as well. And if it's Bahamut, that means this is the forgotten realms, which mean you just broke something by becoming a god and that's a 12th level spell, which isn't possible to cast after the last time someone did that.
Ah yes, the classic fighting fire with fire
True, if you fight fire with fire a DM is always going to come out on top. Hopefully I never experience this!
@@lootgoblinmarketplace it's something most people would not want to have to resort to
The secret power of DMs: reading. Generally we have to read. A Lot. Short of writing a novel the length of LOTR, there is no amount of content a player could generate in a reasonable amount of time that most of us could not read before the start of the game if we really wanted.
Also some players don't seem to understand that a DM can veto backstory elements or even current actions as more or less the referee. For instance, in my sessions, we almost never have PVP. A player has to make a very, very good case before they can even attempt it, or else I will simply not allow it. If the players want PVP, they'll have to ask at the beginning of a new campaign or it will be a truly exceptional circumstance. If you say you punch another PC, they're not getting an HP reduction. If you say you stab them, then either a guard catches you doing it, they dodge it, or most likely we put the session on time out to reiterate that harmful actions are not allowed to be taken against teammates, so if you don't want to be part of the team, you know where the door is.
Thankfully I've only played with a small group of old friends who all have a lot of respect for each other, and I've never had a huge problem player, but I have occasionally had to tell someone to tone it down. Clear and assertive communication is key as a dungeon master. Stand up for yourself, stand up for your players, try to find compromise when conflict arises, and if someone is toxic, either have a conversation to try to get them to change their behavior or just exile them. No reason everyone should stop having fun because one guy decided to make themself everyone else's problem.
This is great advice!
I'm so glad I'm a max level DM and can alter the backstories of that guy on the fly. If I was still in high school, this may have been a problem. Now I just say "Your backstory was then, the story is now," and ignore it unless it has something to steal.
Yeah, the best way to shut down shenanigans is to just not humor it when they try to mess with you. You control the continuity not them.
In my case this was the DM.
Sadly he couldn't keep his game straight so when he let his Critical Role obsession overwhelm what little sense he had I left the group.
Wouldn't have minded, but I was running my game there and was established as entirely different worlds before he hosed both games.
Yeah when you start viewing the fellow D&D players/DM as the enemy, you’ve lost sight of what the game is about!
You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the problem players, not join them! Bring balance to the table, not leave it in darkness!
10/10 wonderful laugh though, and almost exactly what the first problem player in my campaign tried to do.
Yeah, the “dragon best friend” part was inspired by a real person I had in my first campaign.
This is very epic
The first step reminded me of Old Man Henderson.
Honestly I see it too. He is like the way to do it that’s fun for everyone involved
Funny video, im not just sure everyone will get the sarcasm though.
I may accidentally create a monster or two. I apologize to the D&D community if people follow this for real.
I actually think that its better that way. After all, would you rather have a problem player who is using connections outside the game and other very common tactics or this, just blatantly pushing up against the DM?
Damn, even my most edgiest PC (Aasimar) has a backstory that's usually summarised in a few short sentences. To keep him mysterious enough.
I mean, come on, we are creating a lvl1 PC. Not a final boss. We are either at the beginning of our story, or at the bottom of the barrel. Either way - we are a weakling. A noob or just a dumbass.
what have you done most dm's i know will want your head. i'll be sure to use this guide thx :D
Ok, I'll just skip to the last step and will write another weird fanfic out of another idea that doesn't fit for one reason or another)
The Abyss stared back at you something fierce didn't it?! 😂
The only problem this build would have in my game is that I read the backstory in its entirety and have a table rule that as the DM I can alter anything problematic as needed.
Darn, foiled again!
What I find funny is Pathfinder's setting has a god whose ONLY purpose is to kill those kinds of PCs.
What's there name
@@crowbell3059 Achaekek the Mantis God. Whose only purpose is killing upstarts.
Thank you for the answer, that’s really cool. I usually do custom pantheons so I didn’t even realize pathfinder had this god!
I just noticed the ridiculously long backstory at 0:52 is just the lyrics to Welcome To The Black Parade. Emo loot goblin confirmed??
You caught me 😁
Hero ttrpg where you’re required to state weaknesses out the gate: damn it damn it damn it!
My weakness is I’m so strong that I destroy all my shirts when I flex
This is hilarious especially I had one of those players
Step 1, be a Hexblade Warlock.
The true winner is whoever can make the DM make the most new rules
Nice.
Ask the player what kind of katana is it and if they don't answer "Uchigatana" have their every roll be on disatvantage from then on. Because they've clearly not mastered the blade if they can't even tell you what kind of blade it is.
True, he better quickly add into his backstory that he mastered the blade avenging his family who also betrayed him!
I've heard a word before this kind of reminds me of being a Munchkin gamer
I think all munchkins are a bit of this plus a min-max build.
The funny thing is my campaign that I'm starting is a long forgotten God but no one knows about it because supposed to be the final boss fight it's me it's the DM
i cnnot express in words how i feel right now.
but i can with numbers! 10/10 would never do this but its funny
Yeah, I really tried to cram in all the bad advice I could
*laughs hysterically whilst dreaming up the stats for a monster that can deny the fate of any chosen champion, resurrect any who have been slain in an effort to claim this godhood, and can instantly kill the aspirant*
The players worse nightmare is a God of Fate that can’t be bothered to actually do their job.
That was pretty funny
Thank you!
As a dm, i feel attacked.
the map at 1:34 look very nice. Which tools was used in order to do that please ? :)
I’d like to know too
Looks like the sword coast map, official?
Otherwise you can use Wonderdraft, that's what I use
So I actually didn’t make that, WoTC made a free map available to them public with the help of the D&D Extra Life team.
thank you for the answer !
3:55 as if this video wasn’t evil enough, ya had to throw in the discord sound!😂😂
I actually went to check my dnd discord to see who had pinged me lol😆
Sorry, I had to make the messages feel real 😆
So basically: become the protagonist/plot armor
Yeah, and be so annoying that everyone just tolerates it to keep the peace.
Your doing this so you won't run out of horror stories aren't you
I just wanted to channel all that horror and put it into a bad advice video haha
I hope no one takes it seriously and makes a horror story due to me 😅
Watching and listening to this video killed the last of my innocence and wounded my soul. I'm going to hire a pack of kobolds to hunt you down and pelt you with mushy bananas.
I just wanted to make a parody video 😭
@@lootgoblinmarketplace Well the kobolds I hired weren't very smart, so they'll probably be eaten by a grue.
Step 1: moan loudly Everytime you take damage
That’s one way to asset dominance. That way the DM knows better than to target you in combat
Is there a way to do this without any writing?
You could try and get Chat GPT to write hundreds of pages of filler and then you just assure the DM that what you’re trying to do is in there, you just can’t remember where.
👍
I know this is meant sarcastic but this are actualy great tipps to make sure to never been invited again.
I’ve consumed my fair share of horror stories, so I had to find a way to cram some of the biggest red flags I could in.
Old.
Man.
Henderson.
If you can make the party love you becoming the main character then it’s all worth it. That is a great story
Do people actually let players in their games bring in outside items and such? That sounds bizarre. And wouldn't the GM be completely within their rights to say "my game, my rules" and disallow whatever overpowered BS you brought?
I’ve seen it happen before but it got shut down. Sometimes a player tries to say “well my other DM let me” in an effort to like shame the current DM
Here's another way
1: carefully collect more and more d20s to become the d20 god
2: find a dm that let's funny stuff happen
3: nat 40 on a d20 constantly
Note: may not work
It’s worth a shot!
do people actually bribe adventurer's league DM's
I certainly hope not!
Bruh
This sounds like the meanest most self centered person ever I would hope to not be this way I'm not all the way thru but I'm wondering of this is a long running bad joke
Yeah, sadly I feel like this person might exist in real life. I’ve read enough horror stories to think someone is really out here trying to 1v1 the DM
🤣😂🥳
Lmaoo noooo 😂😂😂
comments saying satie, is this not real?
Reality can be whatever you want it to be
of all the things that arent answers, this one is the most not an answer@@lootgoblinmarketplace
See, as a DM i prepared for this mook, i read the 80 page backstory, and quickly edited my lore that your parents were brutally executed infront of you after you traded all of your power and even your sword to an ancient death cult. They then stabbed you so you lost all your levels back to level 1, and now you're a begger who is starting to adventure for money to pay off his crippling debt.
...if you wanna win D&D, i'm the hardmode DM baby.
I don't want to put that much work in it and start with friction at the first session. I'm fine with any backstory, but I give an outline of the campaign to them (Sly Flourish template) and point out where they need to connect their backstory to the campaign. If they haven't done that at the given deadline, they can't play in the campaign.
Congratulations you have one dungeons & dragons small side effect everyone will hate you you may never be able to play with anyone ever again dungeon Master's might blacklist you and you might alienate all your friends but you've done it you've won 😂🎉🎉🎉😅😢😮
They just are just jealous you beat them
*Laughing* Best Worst advice you can get.
Thank you! I’ll try my best to come up with more! 😆
Wow. Somehow you avouded the most important thing which was building an obviously nova bursting character.
You can't start winning unless you win at character creation, background isn't enough.
True, you have to do this while also having a tier 1 class that you somehow managed to roll all 18s for stats.
i love how this just a guide to be the worst player ever
I really hope no one takes it seriously 😂