My oldest brother is a narcist, so much damage.Blocked all his social media and now his phone number. Always contacted me if he needed something than i was useful, always bullying and wanted attention .. Get rid of these creeps people even if it''s family !
Change your frequency. The radio station you emit communication from. Change yourself. Focus on yourself. Maybe you have done it already, then my apologies. 💛
I think I need to get help. I have left, but the communication hasn’t completely stopped. I am trying, but a lot of my things are still at the house. He wants me to get all of my things out. I am 68 yrs old, recent removal of my C5 with previous shoulder surgery. I am still healing. He stole all my money. I can’t afford to hire someone. I am awaiting judge to decide. The biggest pain is I really loved this man. He threw me out like I was trash. I did nothing. Now he is begging me back. No WAY!
yep! my mom did so the minute my dad died, just to avoid my narcissistic middle brother who inherited my dad's narcissism. so glad i left the home in my 30s to work here in the US
it is so hard if you let it go on for so long that you still think you should apologise. The part where the look of sheer pleasure they show when you are hurt (is described) gave me shivers. I didn't know that I was right about seeing that look. I even stayed long enough for a regular conversation to become "Ok but why do you seem really happy when I get upset?" answer "It is just a nervous reaction"
Thank you Kenny! I didn’t realize what a victim I was playing. After listening to this, I really had to examine MY part, and my part was staying with them.
I’m 70. This was the best content I’ve seen on narcissism. I started at birth with a malignant narcissist mother and enabling stepfather. Had this information been available in my early life, it would have helped me so much!! I wandered alone, married narcissistic men, trying to understand my life with no understanding of anything. Counselors did even know this stuff! Bless you, sir. The more we are educated, the better chance we have of getting better. ❤ I think I’m still hurting, even now, because I retreat to being alone. I trust no one. Life has shown me that I’m the only one I can count on. I don’t want it to be that way but it is the truth that that is how I am.
I mirror everything you said exactly. I used to feel I could not trust people again, but I realized the fact that I really have so much love to give and it is not being reciprocated by these people in my life. They've proved it time and time again. Yeah, they throw you a bone every once in a while, but their true intent will always be shallow, fake and hurtful. I deserve more and so do you. Our power is in our ability to genuinely love.
Oh my gosh... did that ever hit home. The bit about the childhood wounds. Then the letting go, it was the hardest part for me, and countering the lingering confusion. Thank you so much. I'm only months into freedom and still fighting attempts to hoover me back in, but you have helped me so much today. ❤
Well, that’s because narcissism is a normal state that human must be in, and in normal society narcissism of different people would just outbalance itself out. But in this new socialist reality suddenly you are not the focus of your own life. Society and others are. But think of these points: 1. Take a long good look around and think: how many people around REALLY put everyone and everything else before their own ego? Somebody buys a house to a poor before buying one to themselves? Somebody buys 10 dishes in the restaurant and gives 9 to others before eating their own? Interrupting each other with questions about counterpart and not talking about themselves? If you take a SOBER look around, you’d find that everyone indeed is a bit narcissist and THIS is normal, not other way around. 2. All coaches that speak of narcissism are rarely anonymous, rarely don’t benefit from their teaching (even if it is hidden ad that drives you towards their payed help), and they somehow all know everything about narcissism and speak to you in a way as if you just arrived to earth. Isn’t it something to contemplate on? 3. Look at animals (which we are) - they aren’t selfish or manipulative in a way “narcissism” coaches are talking about, but they all will easily fall under description of narcissist, even though they do not have human conditions. 4. Last, but not least. Take a list of what is described as narcissism, seat down and write a list of opposites. Now take a good sober look at it and tell to yourself: do such people exist at all? I doubt it. Get real close to literally ANYONE (or start doing something together, like business or venture of some sort), not just a small talk on the street - and eventually anyone will fall under this description. These anti-narcissistic speeches are only hypnotizing while you listen to these right and wrong words, but as soon as you step back and try to see the whole picture - it all just falls apart. Because it’s mostly BS.
I am 76 years old, and I have had a lot of narcissists in my life. I couldn't figure out why I was attracting so many. I was in therapy for approximately 7 years, with 3 different therapists. The first one told me that my family background was one of the worst she'd ever heard of in her practice, so it makes sense that I continued to bring these demons into my life, because both of my parents were narcissists. Her diagnosis of my family was validating. I was also married to a monster of a man, who love bombed me into the relationship. I managed to get a divorce and I detached myself from both of my parents. I didn't attend either of their funerals. I have become more and more savvy about who I choose to be in my life, and listening to this video was extremely helpful. When you're used to not getting your emotional needs met, it's hard to practice self care. Nevertheless, I'm much healthier than I used to be. What's particularly difficult for me to do is to not feel shame about the crappy treatment I allowed in the past. Playing the victim allows me to make excuses for not accomplishing the goals I want to achieve. It's allowing me to procrastinate on building a new life for myself. I'm determined to move forward in order to live up to my potential as a writer and a human being. I spend too much time in the past, which keeps me stuck. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.
That was a great comment and I have a parallel story. I'm encouraged by you because I'm 57 and sad I wasted so much time in toxic crap but you at 76 are focused on a new life. Great example you are.❤
@@Andrea-HeIsKing What I'm good at is walking away from toxic relationships, but this video has helped me with learning how to avoid these demons in the first place. I'm committed to my personal growth until the day I die. This is an ongoing process.
I think we think of our past when it concerns abusive behavior because there is some part of our mind trying to make sense of what happened. I think we unfortunately have to accept we will never know what goes on in their mind and how they knowingly chose to behave.
I love how you hold everyone responsible in a relationship. I have always done so too, in my mind. There is a reason why I keep attracting and being attracted to the same type of toxic person. And I need to learn more about MY part that I play in these relationships in order to heal and change my thinking. Learning about narcissism is only fighting half or less of the real battle for a more happy life. The victim role is counterproductive to personal growth. Your channel is the only one I've found that thinks like I do: what was my role and why? How can I recognize and take responsibility for my toxic patterns that I keep repeating to my own detriment?
Great video very chilling because you’re so 100% correct Yep I dated a narcissist for nine months big nightmare people stay away from these type of people learn the symptoms and the red flags We have the ultimate power like you talk about we determine who’s in our life don’t be naïve don’t be taken for a ride don’t be manipulated understand who you’re with and what’s real and what’s not!! take control of your life!! no relationship is better than a bad one Don’t be a victim!!! 🌈❤
About how they want you to dress, you triggered a memory of an old girlfriend who gave me a sweater. It was nice and I liked it except that it had a little aligator on the chest which I thought was kind of silly (I think Lacoste was pretty new to scene back then) and I carefully removed it, zero trace. Holy smokes was she ever mad, raged on about how much she paid, how it made the sweater what it was, how could I be so stupid. Years later I was out with a friend and ran into her and as you do I introduced her to my buddy to which she said: oh, my name isn't Beverly anymore, I changed it to Athena. I remember a kind of dead silence at that point, she was lucky we were polite enough to not burst out laughing, that came later. Too funny. We don't get to have too many light moments with those toxic types if at all. Great video. Peace!
Thanks for the great information. I find that part of the recovery from all the ego-bashing is to become skilled at recognising narcissists, and if avoidance is impossible (a family member) , learn to predict their head games and outwit them.
Yessss! The tilt of her head and that smirk on her face. That's my mom anytime she finally pushes me to frustration. I'm INFJ...I can read faces. My family sucks.
I found complete freedom 🥰and utter relief in being honest with myself that they do not love or have any respect for me , never did , never will and so cut lose . Feel so much happier , safer and stronger alone lol than I ever did within a " family ? " what ever that is ? happy healing Kenny 🤗🙏🏼🌸
I love repeating myself 3 times because the Narciccist is in thier head.I spent 25 years working in behaviour Modification and brain damaged people.The psychology I learned in College was kindergarden compared to this mind blowing educational video.THANK YOU for your service to save people from the monsters.Knowledge is power.
Thanks. Had to deal with one that fit all this criteria; wanted to be in charge, blame others for his mistakes, outright lies, superiority, etc. "I don't care about what you think" would enrage him. ❤
yes! my younger brother and my dad are/were the same. anytime you make small talk with them, they'd come back at you saying, oh those kinds of things are for little minds only
I’m currently learning how to meet my own needs and all the needs of my children, due to the partners I chose. Staying in the reality that it’s %100 my responsibility and is an opportunity to learn and grow. If a need is met, that I did not provide or manage it’s a bonus!! The counter parenting and the gaslighting is still hard. I’m still learning how to navigate that.
Your words totally confirms what I’ve been searching about this! I’m already separated for 6 months and taking care of myself with help through therapy and seeking comfort and healing through Scriptures ….thank you very much for your help
With this situation, it saddens me deeply because I have witnessed the dynamics in three (3) generations as it is inherited. Yes, the trouble and damage it has caused, it is very overwhelming. It took me ages to finally realize that my father had it, my sibling has it and only recently i discovered that one of the adult children displays the trait quite profoundly. It took me ages to finally realize and recover from the turmoil that I experienced when growing up. It was hard, bloody hard.
Thank you. I am a 29 year old male living with my parents. My mother is a hopelessly addicted fool to my dad's narcissistic abuse dating back to way before my birth. I am currently at a stage where I am trying to gather enough money to get out on my own in a studio apartment somewhere on the west coast. The damage, manipulation, disrespect, hurt, confusion and many other things experienced in a narcissistic household truly are devastating. It is incredibly hard to explain to others what it is lie if they have not experienced it.
Thanks for this video. 9:24 The narcissist can also start recording conversations to use against you when needed. That’s reactive abuse and quite a bad thing.
Take the big E, go no contact before he destroys you. I discarded a narcissist and I felt a big relief, a liberation on my part. He still tries to connect thru text messages but I don’t give him the right for information. I just simply reply with an emoticon.
You want to see narcissists in action? Go to any local Christian church and join their ministry in some capacity. Will blow your mind! My only question is, why does God allow narcissists to run churches... Very strange. Any input on that will be appreciated.
Kenny, glad you’ve been a part of this journey! Locked in on my hobbies and career. Dating a peaceful person! And will keep taking responsibility for myself and my actions. Thank you!
Once I understood and I was working on getting out, I started doing things that would trigger the Narc. It kept him in a perpetual state of irritation. It drove him away long enough to give me some peace. I never felt safe, and I wasn’t, but it gave me space. It only took a few months away to start healing (hands stop shaking, inability to sleep, panic attacks and facial ticks, profuse apologizing) all stopped.
I wish I would have found you 10 years ago. You are spot on. Still healing after a 20 year relationship with such a person you’ve described. I have realized that this will be a lifelong healing process.
Thank you so, so much... this video is definitely the best I have ever listened to. I have been trying to cope with the different features you mentionned for years and I will go with your advices so I can save and upgrade whatever is left in me... thank you again and again. All the best, barbara
You have learned the hard way kenny and have become wiser being with a narc fooling you for some time but learning from it..and it includes me.. we live and learn
Im really lucky to have a kind and empathetic husband. Sometimes he doesnt hear things I say or loses focus. But his heart is always in tune and patient. I notice the difference after dating people in the past, one whom was narcissistic. I think my husband may have adhd or some attention deficicit that sneaks up on him at times. Hes a genuine loving and consistant person. Just struggles with focus, and he did at school too.
dang, all of these just describe my late dad (RIP) and my younger brother! my mom had long decided that once my dad died, she'd leave our family home back to her home town to live near her siblings. she wants nothing to do with my brother who has inherited my dad's narcissism. so glad i got to be physically away from the family when i left to work in the USA in my 30s. i can only imagine how my mom and my youngest brother dealt with all that narcissism from my dad and middle brother
Kenny can you please do a video on the ploys Covert Narcissists use to get supply? My mom is a CNPD and she pretends to be “the victim” of radio frequencies such as 5g & WiFi which she claims are harmful radiation (they made up this fake “condition” called “electromagnetic sensitivity”). I am an electrical engineer and have tried explaining what ionizing vs non-ionizing radios means but because I am her scapegoat she assumes she knows more about radio frequencies than an actual elect engineer who worlds with radios and radar (I work on ships as an ETO). She also claims to be “the victim” of condensation trails from turbine aircraft which she calls ‘Chemtrails’. She also claims gravity isn’t real and earth is flat in an attempt to get attention from absolutely anyone who will argue with her. My father (her scapegoat before she divorced him) is a physicist so mom tried convincing everyone earth is flat and gravity is fake and my dad is a silly physicist. In addition to CNPD and also has a lot of signs of BPD. We are mostly estranged.
Mom is such an extreme Covert Narcissist that one of the ploys she uses is pretending to be a “sovereign citizen” which means she believes our laws don’t apply to her because of her entitlement. SovCits are dangerous Covert Narcissists who should be avoided (or imprisoned) at all costs.
Interesting, paranoia and narcissism go hand-hand, as the grandiosity/self importance lend to feelings of ‘they’re out to get me’ ( like I’m THAT important/know SO much that ‘they’ should be concerned ). I’d recommend watching Sam Vaknin’s videos on this topic; he takes a very academic approach, sounds like you might appreciate that.
@@user-vj2sn7vv5s Deep/sincere conversations with narcissists should be avoided; keep it shallow and don’t expect much/anything in the form of empathy from a true NPD.
Chile i wish i could of seen the sighs,my ex NARC of 3 months was to Damn long,deal breaker was he had me to come over afer a 3 day break i needed from him,he had me come over just to try to treat me bad ,raising his voice, ignoring me,i was out never seen his since, Single life is Beautiful ❤❤
Oh Kenny. I am so sorry to hear she slapped you. You are such a nice man. Nobody should do that. Gaslighting is something I cannot stand. Changing past words, events only to confuse you.
Ditto! 💯 Excellent explanations! Thank you! This Dark subject is brighten up by your bright attractive clothing style ⭐ 🥰 and usually the background is just as Bright 🌞🎉 🌻. Bring the light 🕯️ into the dark 🌑 💯 Take Responsible for your life! No excuses! Freedom is Self Care! 🎶 🎵
You answered my question earlier meeting my own needs MYSELF. Right there accountability 101 self love self control and regulating my emotions in situations where in fact i am dealing with the same people who i have been avoiding theoughout my own healing and forgiveness of self by being Narcissistic. 🤯i guess what i found discouraging was many opinions of narccisists and psychosocial personality disorders that are deemed incurable. I believe anyone can change if they really see how theybe hurt and affected the lives of their loved ones. I expected my family to listen to the same excuses for self.sabotaging thinking these were personal.attacks when i can see clearly that productige criticism and or realising and seeing your actions affect others and self this is very serious and can create big health problems along with many a failed relationships. If i had this support in the past Thankyou i am trying my best. Patience is key at this point in ky healing journey along with empathy for others mistakes including my own not ecluslding and playing victim just knowing the difference between the both. Amen Kenny
I remember when we were both grown and my sister started to confess to me all of the things she did to me. I turned to her and said, "You mean you didn't know that I knew what you were doing?" It has been 25 years and she still has not spoken to me.
You are so right there monsters no empathy get off on your pain can’t cry etc and the silent treatments and brutal discard😢I’m aware now of the part I played I feel as thow I had no idea what this was I kept searching online I enabled him in a sense by being unaware of how hard I tried to get his love sad
The smirk of admiration and pride when they destroy you, and you being you, react w emotion(ie cry). Thats the time something really stuck into the pit of my stomach that I couldnt deny anymore or justified it anymore. Also, you are so right on boundaries. The day I started placing boundaries, the rage came out right after the shaming didnt work and I stuck to my boundaries. The problem I have now is my son, isnt even in my life anymore, yet he is fixated on still trying to destroy me. He is using blasphemy my name and character now, to anyone that will listen and believe him. I constantly reem myself w the what if I just continued to take it? Could I have taken the shame and kept the peace? Maybe, he is right, I am the problem? Maybe I am the Narc? Maybe I caused him to become this deamon because I am a closet deamon? It is so destructive, and I have to force myself to see the truth through the haze. I watch the videos I have, and the memories I still have that keep replaying in my head, just to keep ahold of the truth. I find that even when I cut him off finally, I dont allow myself peace. I am trying to do the work and figure out why I deep down dont believe I truely deserve love and peace. Why ai allowed the abuse to go on and take blame for what wasnt mine. I have sat my son down and apologized, and sincere apologie, If whatever I did in his child hood made him feel abandoned or hurt, that I was sorry. I am not perfect, but I wanted us to come together and start to create a motherly son bond. He always agreed, and had me fooled w his small tear in his eyes. I put my trust in him again, and it wasnt long that he broke it again, and when I begged him why he did it again? He promised me last time, didnt he remember? It was always "I didnt say that". Or my fav line " maybe thats how you thought I meant it, but I didnt confirm thats how I meant it" What does that even mean? Who thinks about wording things like that? When it went to physical abuse, I decided to take the steps out no matter the result. I couldnt continue to stay in the abuse anymore. I have been pointed the finger at, lied about, slandered, judged and condemmed on those lies. If I am honest it sucks, and I cry because it hurts me, but I cant revert back, and I regret nothing about finally seeing that I dont need to take on others consequences, its not my actions to speak for.
OMG - I got shivers down my spine when my ex came up to me the moment I was driving away for good. He leaned into my car window and told me he ran into his 2nd ex-wife that very day. He had a huge smile on his face with a look of enjoyment mixed with superiority as his eyes glinted and said with enthusiasm that she was toothless and homeless and actually asked him for money. He felt like he had won! His first ex-wife died of cancer a few years back, and he has even wished for me to end up dead at my own hands or his.
Sadly, there is a manipulative narcissist in my environment. This person does likes to gaslight, blame, interfere in personal relationships, and lie. At this moment, I can't get away from this person without losing my relationship with a family member. I recognize their destructive behaviour, and have emotionally detached myself from their actions, manipulations and lies.
I’m about 3mo since my divorce from a narcissist. This video made me laugh (at the truths), made me cry (at the truths), and validated what I knew…it WAS grandiose of me to think I could change him. What a dumbass I was. I did do exactly what you said…I tried to turn it around and make SOMETHING about me…which just made him worse. I finally had to end it.
you know you're being gaslit when you start a conversation or indulge in one and just asking yourself "wtf did I even bother, what is even happening" You have to get out, lowering your expectations and trying to cope is a death sentence. They will run you ragged-
That's so spot on, had that 3 days ago with my mother. I just come off the phone invalidated, guilt ed, shamed and wtf did I bother what the hell is happening! Glad it's not just me, needed that today 👍✌
I am healing and have done so after he died; I don’t believe I would fall into the same trap again. I regret the difficult and somewhat wasted years and grasp my part in the long and challenging marriage.
agree, i have one malignant and one covert narc in my old family, they always think they are rich and famous despite empty pocket$. Looks, dress, type of cars, 'face value' are the most important to them. they will test every border, when you get angry their favorite line is 'i'm just joking, why are you so petty?'. gaslighting and triangulation are common, their temper could easily explode whenever they didn't get what they want, just like a toddler. In rare family restaurant gathering, they could say things like 'these food looks so cheap, are they for human consumption?' and threw big tantrum when the waiter is slow to serve them.
Thank you for sharing this information, I have been trying to figure out if am a covert narcissist or just narcissistic personality person, is there a video of sort for myself to watch and know?? I want to know so I don’t hurt anyone but at the same time don’t confuse people for actually being asshole to me
My mother fits this, and I’m pretty sure she is a covert narcissist. It’s 😢, and I now realize that not only does she not love me, she never has and isn’t even capable to love me the way most parents love their children.
It has taken me until now to realise that my mother shows so many of these signs. Most of her actions are quite subtle but as she got older they have become less so. Unfortunately because of her age nothing will change and also being a relative it is hard break ties. Useful video to help myself.
My mother's latest thing is to say to me, I can't do that psychological stuff! She means validation, empathy, understanding! The way she talks, you'd think I was an alien for wanting those things. My childhood makes sense why she never protected me, gave me choices or asked me how I was feeling. She did me a great disservice
I think we also have to state this. Everybody has narcissistic tendencies me. I definitely have what looks like a narcissistic tendency, but I am not a narcissist, especially if you have mind blindness which that’s directly related to a ASD trait for all levels of ASD blindness looks a lot like narcissism. I’ve studied these two topics for freaking forever and even have firsthand personal experience in the subject.
You are so correct. Science has found that the brain of these people is not wired correctly. The fact we all have egos is evident, but they have a disordered ego.
Thank you very, very much. I was right that is not normal. 🙏🙏 I have a question, please. After relationship with a Narcissist, is it any possibility other person to become narcissist? Thank you again 🙏
So many people enjoy the label of victim. Blame everyone else gives them importance. Some dine out on victim hood forever! No responsibility. Be victorious and walk away, and have a wonderful kind life. ❤
Yep he found a runner for him,of course I didn't know what a runner was,so I didn't hear from him for a week,come to find out she was a crackhead and his runner and he was sleeping with her im sure ,NARC dont care who there Supply is longs as it benefits them, my ex Narc told me one day i was at his house to be quiet because he was getting ready to call his runner/ crackehead supply,im thinking so i have to respect a crackhead i literally felt sick in the stomach,i left feeling sick,1 month later is when we broke up,you have me to come over to treat me bad but you will respect a crackhead,i never did drugs in my life and he know that,i think he thought i was better so he will treat me bad,he use to be on crack to years ago,its a sick cycle wirh them and it never stop unless you stop it and never go back,u feel so happy and peace thsts 3 months i can't get back but im happy im away from him, Single life is Beautiful ❤
Yeah, it's important to realize it's not just one of those things, but all of them in more or lesser amount. I'm sure plenty of us may have been guilty of one or more of those in certain instances, but in the end we do care about others and understand that we all have healthy boundaries that deserve respect. That also means that when someone appears to be a narcissist because one or two points check out, they may simply not know there is a boundary they're crossing and without anyone telling them, they may keep doing so because they are unaware, without bad intentions. Meaning that in a situation where it is brought up, they can pay attention to it and adapt, if they prove to not be narcisssists. Putting yourself directly in a position of victimhood after each confrontation with or without a narcissist is equally bad, may I add. You have to stand up for yourself and know you have boundaries that need attention! In doing so, you will not easily put yourself in a "persecution-mode", which can also be a sign of narcissism btw... Not wanting to make it political but just look at DJ Trump. Complaining about how bad the world is towards him the whole time. Narcissists show a lot of similarities with the worldview of a young child who thinks the world evolves around them, who still have to learn about boundaries and realizing other people's feelings/thoughts are important too. Confidence in protecting your own healthy boundaries is key. It took me a while to stand up for my own boundaries.
It started with the mother- and trained me for every friendship encounter and relationship in my life. I realize I was trained to subjugate myself because of her abuse. They never change, leave, and live a life for you
I don't know why, but I have an inborn instinct about people. I'm in my 80's. There are some people I just get a vibe about and just don't get involved with any more than necessary. Anyone who was too nice or tried to love bomb me immediately made me suspicious. I'm interested in the subject because of certain things going on today. I'm guessing that if your parents raised you with respect and instilled self-esteem you will not become a victim of a narcissist?
I am in the process of recovering but I need professional help, which I will search for, as soon as my grandson gets back to school because now, I care for him. At the moment, I have to deal with siblings who I believe are narcissists. They are very intrusive in my life and I generally fall for their antics and, later on, I realize I have shared too much information about my life with them. I believe their “genius” comes from demonic inputs that they use in order to cause distress in others. After I talk to them, I experience exhaustion and confusion and I am often questioning my actions, my abilities, and my sense of purpose and of common sense and decency. It has been a life long quest for self awareness. To change myself into a person who God intend for me.
I literally 'no contact' with my two malignant narcissist from my old family. tons of peace for me after that, however they relentlessly smear campaign me among my relatives and friends. however i don't really care because I feel that any relatives that simply believe their words without checking, don't deserve to be my relatives.
What if you were deep in thought and just really didn't hear her? I know many people like that. So, I have to just wait until they have a minute to pay attention to me, or I have to get their attention somehow if it is pressing. (And not by smacking them upside the head).
The look when i lost the cat before she left , she smiled and said is it like loosing your daughter? ? ..i never looked back , run brother run god said. And i did . ❤🙏❤️
I GOT SMACKED across my head by my mother for failing to see a spire of a church where I had had my baptism . She was showing me the place thru a window of an accelerating train we were on. I was 8 yrs old and struck with how unjust it was. Later I got used to such treatment. She said something that in free translation for Polish would be " you damn blind crow/chicken".
It's very hard when you suspect but you are not completaly sure they are. In my xperience I began to have toxic behaviors too because I was trying to protect myself, but now I don't know if he was just responding to my behavior or was the other way around. I really feel a lot of remorse because.... what if he's not a narcissist and only a childish person?? 😕 I suspect he is a vulnerable narcissist but again, I'm not sure and it's the hardest.
My oldest brother is a narcist, so much damage.Blocked all his social media and now his phone number. Always contacted me if he needed something than i was useful, always bullying and wanted attention .. Get rid of these creeps people even if it''s family !
Sociopathic
I hear you. He just takes, takes, takes, from my parents by guilt tripping.
68 years old l.
Still susceptible to narcissists.
Learning.
Great video. Thank you.
Change your frequency. The radio station you emit communication from. Change yourself. Focus on yourself. Maybe you have done it already, then my apologies. 💛
Try living with a narcissist with a traumatic brain injury from meningitis!
I think I need to get help. I have left, but the communication hasn’t completely stopped. I am trying, but a lot of my things are still at the house. He wants me to get all of my things out. I am 68 yrs old, recent removal of my C5 with previous shoulder surgery. I am still healing. He stole all my money. I can’t afford to hire someone. I am awaiting judge to decide. The biggest pain is I really loved this man. He threw me out like I was trash. I did nothing. Now he is begging me back. No WAY!
So, leaving is the only option. I get it. Thank you.
100%
❤
yep! my mom did so the minute my dad died, just to avoid my narcissistic middle brother who inherited my dad's narcissism. so glad i left the home in my 30s to work here in the US
it is so hard if you let it go on for so long that you still think you should apologise. The part where the look of sheer pleasure they show when you are hurt (is described) gave me shivers. I didn't know that I was right about seeing that look.
I even stayed long enough for a regular conversation to become "Ok but why do you seem really happy when I get upset?" answer "It is just a nervous reaction"
I’m just learning that I was with a narcissist…and leaving was the only option…my life AND health is a million times better…good luck👍
Thank you Kenny! I didn’t realize what a victim I was playing. After listening to this, I really had to examine MY part, and my part was staying with them.
I think it is very real and brave of you to give a recipe for the person who can't escape their situation.
I’m 70. This was the best content I’ve seen on narcissism. I started at birth with a malignant narcissist mother and enabling stepfather. Had this information been available in my early life, it would have helped me so much!! I wandered alone, married narcissistic men, trying to understand my life with no understanding of anything. Counselors did even know this stuff! Bless you, sir. The more we are educated, the better chance we have of getting better. ❤ I think I’m still hurting, even now, because I retreat to being alone. I trust no one. Life has shown me that I’m the only one I can count on. I don’t want it to be that way but it is the truth that that is how I am.
I mirror everything you said exactly. I used to feel I could not trust people again, but I realized the fact that I really have so much love to give and it is not being reciprocated by these people in my life. They've proved it time and time again. Yeah, they throw you a bone every once in a while, but their true intent will always be shallow, fake and hurtful. I deserve more and so do you. Our power is in our ability to genuinely love.
Oh my gosh... did that ever hit home. The bit about the childhood wounds. Then the letting go, it was the hardest part for me, and countering the lingering confusion. Thank you so much. I'm only months into freedom and still fighting attempts to hoover me back in, but you have helped me so much today. ❤
No curiousity no empathy disdain passive aggressive arrogance
Well, that’s because narcissism is a normal state that human must be in, and in normal society narcissism of different people would just outbalance itself out. But in this new socialist reality suddenly you are not the focus of your own life. Society and others are. But think of these points:
1. Take a long good look around and think: how many people around REALLY put everyone and everything else before their own ego? Somebody buys a house to a poor before buying one to themselves? Somebody buys 10 dishes in the restaurant and gives 9 to others before eating their own? Interrupting each other with questions about counterpart and not talking about themselves? If you take a SOBER look around, you’d find that everyone indeed is a bit narcissist and THIS is normal, not other way around.
2. All coaches that speak of narcissism are rarely anonymous, rarely don’t benefit from their teaching (even if it is hidden ad that drives you towards their payed help), and they somehow all know everything about narcissism and speak to you in a way as if you just arrived to earth. Isn’t it something to contemplate on?
3. Look at animals (which we are) - they aren’t selfish or manipulative in a way “narcissism” coaches are talking about, but they all will easily fall under description of narcissist, even though they do not have human conditions.
4. Last, but not least. Take a list of what is described as narcissism, seat down and write a list of opposites. Now take a good sober look at it and tell to yourself: do such people exist at all? I doubt it. Get real close to literally ANYONE (or start doing something together, like business or venture of some sort), not just a small talk on the street - and eventually anyone will fall under this description.
These anti-narcissistic speeches are only hypnotizing while you listen to these right and wrong words, but as soon as you step back and try to see the whole picture - it all just falls apart. Because it’s mostly BS.
I never knew from one moment to the next which direction he was going to come from. His accusations, lies, temper. He was exhausting.
I am 76 years old, and I have had a lot of narcissists in my life. I couldn't figure out why I was attracting so many. I was in therapy for approximately 7 years, with 3 different therapists. The first one told me that my family background was one of the worst she'd ever heard of in her practice, so it makes sense that I continued to bring these demons into my life, because both of my parents were narcissists. Her diagnosis of my family was validating. I was also married to a monster of a man, who love bombed me into the relationship. I managed to get a divorce and I detached myself from both of my parents. I didn't attend either of their funerals. I have become more and more savvy about who I choose to be in my life, and listening to this video was extremely helpful. When you're used to not getting your emotional needs met, it's hard to practice self care. Nevertheless, I'm much healthier than I used to be. What's particularly difficult for me to do is to not feel shame about the crappy treatment I allowed in the past. Playing the victim allows me to make excuses for not accomplishing the goals I want to achieve. It's allowing me to procrastinate on building a new life for myself. I'm determined to move forward in order to live up to my potential as a writer and a human being. I spend too much time in the past, which keeps me stuck. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.
That was a great comment and I have a parallel story. I'm encouraged by you because I'm 57 and sad I wasted so much time in toxic crap but you at 76 are focused on a new life. Great example you are.❤
@@Andrea-HeIsKing What I'm good at is walking away from toxic relationships, but this video has helped me with learning how to avoid these demons in the first place. I'm committed to my personal growth until the day I die. This is an ongoing process.
I think we think of our past when it concerns abusive behavior because there is some part of our mind trying to make sense of what happened. I think we unfortunately have to accept we will never know what goes on in their mind and how they knowingly chose to behave.
I appreciate how sincere You are, when You speak about playing the victim and procrastination. Respect 👍🏼❤️.
I love how you hold everyone responsible in a relationship. I have always done so too, in my mind. There is a reason why I keep attracting and being attracted to the same type of toxic person. And I need to learn more about MY part that I play in these relationships in order to heal and change my thinking. Learning about narcissism is only fighting half or less of the real battle for a more happy life.
The victim role is counterproductive to personal growth.
Your channel is the only one I've found that thinks like I do: what was my role and why? How can I recognize and take responsibility for my toxic patterns that I keep repeating to my own detriment?
Great video very chilling because you’re so 100% correct
Yep I dated a narcissist for nine months big nightmare people stay away from these type of people learn the symptoms and the red flags
We have the ultimate power like you talk about we determine who’s in our life don’t be naïve don’t be taken for a ride don’t be manipulated understand who you’re with and what’s real and what’s not!! take control of your life!! no relationship is better than a bad one
Don’t be a victim!!!
🌈❤
About how they want you to dress, you triggered a memory of an old girlfriend who gave me a sweater. It was nice and I liked it except that it had a little aligator on the chest which I thought was kind of silly (I think Lacoste was pretty new to scene back then) and I carefully removed it, zero trace. Holy smokes was she ever mad, raged on about how much she paid, how it made the sweater what it was, how could I be so stupid.
Years later I was out with a friend and ran into her and as you do I introduced her to my buddy to which she said: oh, my name isn't Beverly anymore, I changed it to Athena. I remember a kind of dead silence at that point, she was lucky we were polite enough to not burst out laughing, that came later. Too funny. We don't get to have too many light moments with those toxic types if at all.
Great video.
Peace!
Thanks for the great information. I find that part of the recovery from all the ego-bashing is to become skilled at recognising narcissists, and if avoidance is impossible (a family member) , learn to predict their head games and outwit them.
Yessss! The tilt of her head and that smirk on her face. That's my mom anytime she finally pushes me to frustration. I'm INFJ...I can read faces. My family sucks.
Ich befasse mich seit 40 Jahre mit Anglitzdiagnostik und nonverbaler Körpersprache.
Hilft enorm.
Und pass auf bei kurzen breiten Daumen.
I found complete freedom 🥰and utter relief in being honest with myself that they do not love or have any respect for me , never did , never will and so cut lose . Feel so much happier , safer and stronger alone lol than I ever did within a " family ? " what ever that is ?
happy healing Kenny 🤗🙏🏼🌸
I love repeating myself 3 times because the Narciccist is in thier head.I spent 25 years working in behaviour Modification and brain damaged people.The psychology I learned in College was kindergarden compared to this mind blowing educational video.THANK YOU for your service to save people from the monsters.Knowledge is power.
Hi Kenny, thanks for a frank talk 🦜. My sign with narcs was ALWAYS that I couldn't breath anymore 😮. Bless you 🙏
Thanks. Had to deal with one that fit all this criteria; wanted to be in charge, blame others for his mistakes, outright lies, superiority, etc. "I don't care about what you think" would enrage him. ❤
you can't have a conversation with them without them trying to come across as superior no matter the subject or their knowledge.
yes! my younger brother and my dad are/were the same. anytime you make small talk with them, they'd come back at you saying, oh those kinds of things are for little minds only
I’m currently learning how to meet my own needs and all the needs of my children, due to the partners I chose. Staying in the reality that it’s %100 my responsibility and is an opportunity to learn and grow. If a need is met, that I did not provide or manage it’s a bonus!!
The counter parenting and the gaslighting is still hard. I’m still learning how to navigate that.
excellent !
Your words totally confirms what I’ve been searching about this! I’m already separated for 6 months and taking care of myself with help through therapy and seeking comfort and healing through Scriptures ….thank you very much for your help
With this situation, it saddens me deeply because I have witnessed the dynamics in three (3) generations as it is inherited. Yes, the trouble and damage it has caused, it is very overwhelming. It took me ages to finally realize that my father had it, my sibling has it and only recently i discovered that one of the adult children displays the trait quite profoundly. It took me ages to finally realize and recover from the turmoil that I experienced when growing up. It was hard, bloody hard.
Miasmata
Thank you. I am a 29 year old male living with my parents. My mother is a hopelessly addicted fool to my dad's narcissistic abuse dating back to way before my birth. I am currently at a stage where I am trying to gather enough money to get out on my own in a studio apartment somewhere on the west coast. The damage, manipulation, disrespect, hurt, confusion and many other things experienced in a narcissistic household truly are devastating. It is incredibly hard to explain to others what it is lie if they have not experienced it.
Thanks for this video. 9:24 The narcissist can also start recording conversations to use against you when needed. That’s reactive abuse and quite a bad thing.
Take the big E, go no contact before he destroys you. I discarded a narcissist and I felt a big relief, a liberation on my part. He still tries to connect thru text messages but I don’t give him the right for information. I just simply reply with an emoticon.
I’m going to make myself a priority--whatever that looks like. I will find a way to rise above this
You want to see narcissists in action? Go to any local Christian church and join their ministry in some capacity. Will blow your mind! My only question is, why does God allow narcissists to run churches... Very strange. Any input on that will be appreciated.
So very true.
Not always but often. I'm sure equally true of other religions also.
Not only in Christian churches. They are very present in any other religious subgroups or cults.
Well it's in the bible warning us about wolf in sheep's clothing. You can see the wolves by their fruit. Tare and wheat are together ❤️
@@crtuakoi Excellent response
Kenny, glad you’ve been a part of this journey! Locked in on my hobbies and career. Dating a peaceful person! And will keep taking responsibility for myself and my actions. Thank you!
Once I understood and I was working on getting out, I started doing things that would trigger the Narc. It kept him in a perpetual state of irritation. It drove him away long enough to give me some peace. I never felt safe, and I wasn’t, but it gave me space. It only took a few months away to start healing (hands stop shaking, inability to sleep, panic attacks and facial ticks, profuse apologizing) all stopped.
You have been so informative and I am going to put myself first thank you I feel empowered aftercwatching yiyr video ❤
I wish I would have found you 10 years ago. You are spot on. Still healing after a 20 year relationship with such a person you’ve described. I have realized that this will be a lifelong healing process.
thanks for sharing
Thank you so, so much... this video is definitely the best I have ever listened to. I have been trying to cope with the different features you mentionned for years and I will go with your advices so I can save and upgrade whatever is left in me... thank you again and again. All the best, barbara
You have learned the hard way kenny and have become wiser being with a narc fooling you for some time but learning from it..and it includes me.. we live and learn
I subscribed to this channel right away, its very interesting and helpful. I hope it will help affected people.
So true! Love you Kenni! As a perfectly imperfect person I still ask what I did wrong….but thank you for this! ❤
Im really lucky to have a kind and empathetic husband. Sometimes he doesnt hear things I say or loses focus. But his heart is always in tune and patient. I notice the difference after dating people in the past, one whom was narcissistic.
I think my husband may have adhd or some attention deficicit that sneaks up on him at times. Hes a genuine loving and consistant person. Just struggles with focus, and he did at school too.
It's nice to hear you speak kindly of your loving husband.😊
This is absolutely excellent I can’t believe you covered all aspects really well done .😊
Love the painting behind you. Could you show us the whole thing sometime?
Kenny loves color!
@@TheMeisaku Me too!
dang, all of these just describe my late dad (RIP) and my younger brother! my mom had long decided that once my dad died, she'd leave our family home back to her home town to live near her siblings. she wants nothing to do with my brother who has inherited my dad's narcissism. so glad i got to be physically away from the family when i left to work in the USA in my 30s. i can only imagine how my mom and my youngest brother dealt with all that narcissism from my dad and middle brother
Kenny can you please do a video on the ploys Covert Narcissists use to get supply? My mom is a CNPD and she pretends to be “the victim” of radio frequencies such as 5g & WiFi which she claims are harmful radiation (they made up this fake “condition” called “electromagnetic sensitivity”). I am an electrical engineer and have tried explaining what ionizing vs non-ionizing radios means but because I am her scapegoat she assumes she knows more about radio frequencies than an actual elect engineer who worlds with radios and radar (I work on ships as an ETO). She also claims to be “the victim” of condensation trails from turbine aircraft which she calls ‘Chemtrails’. She also claims gravity isn’t real and earth is flat in an attempt to get attention from absolutely anyone who will argue with her. My father (her scapegoat before she divorced him) is a physicist so mom tried convincing everyone earth is flat and gravity is fake and my dad is a silly physicist. In addition to CNPD and also has a lot of signs of BPD. We are mostly estranged.
Mom is such an extreme Covert Narcissist that one of the ploys she uses is pretending to be a “sovereign citizen” which means she believes our laws don’t apply to her because of her entitlement. SovCits are dangerous Covert Narcissists who should be avoided (or imprisoned) at all costs.
Interesting, paranoia and narcissism go hand-hand, as the grandiosity/self importance lend to feelings of ‘they’re out to get me’ ( like I’m THAT important/know SO much that ‘they’ should be concerned ). I’d recommend watching Sam Vaknin’s videos on this topic; he takes a very academic approach, sounds like you might appreciate that.
@@user-vj2sn7vv5s Deep/sincere conversations with narcissists should be avoided; keep it shallow and don’t expect much/anything in the form of empathy from a true NPD.
This broke my heart. God help me!!! Thank you Kenny
Chile i wish i could of seen the sighs,my ex NARC of 3 months was to Damn long,deal breaker was he had me to come over afer a 3 day break i needed from him,he had me come over just to try to treat me bad ,raising his voice, ignoring me,i was out never seen his since, Single life is Beautiful ❤❤
Many thanks for your guidance, Kenny!
You are a wonderful teacher, sir. Love your content!
Oh Kenny. I am so sorry to hear she slapped you. You are such a nice man. Nobody should do that. Gaslighting is something I cannot stand. Changing past words, events only to confuse you.
Amazing insights and 100 Percent true. Thank you so much! You are a true empath. 🧡
This really helped me. Thank you and I am going to listen to your videos.
Wonderful!
Ditto! 💯 Excellent explanations! Thank you! This Dark subject is brighten up by your bright attractive clothing style ⭐ 🥰 and usually the background is just as Bright 🌞🎉 🌻. Bring the light 🕯️ into the dark 🌑 💯 Take Responsible for your life! No excuses! Freedom is Self Care! 🎶 🎵
You answered my question earlier meeting my own needs MYSELF. Right there accountability 101 self love self control and regulating my emotions in situations where in fact i am dealing with the same people who i have been avoiding theoughout my own healing and forgiveness of self by being Narcissistic. 🤯i guess what i found discouraging was many opinions of narccisists and psychosocial personality disorders that are deemed incurable. I believe anyone can change if they really see how theybe hurt and affected the lives of their loved ones. I expected my family to listen to the same excuses for self.sabotaging thinking these were personal.attacks when i can see clearly that productige criticism and or realising and seeing your actions affect others and self this is very serious and can create big health problems along with many a failed relationships. If i had this support in the past Thankyou i am trying my best. Patience is key at this point in ky healing journey along with empathy for others mistakes including my own not ecluslding and playing victim just knowing the difference between the both. Amen Kenny
I remember when we were both grown and my sister started to confess to me all of the things she did to me. I turned to her and said, "You mean you didn't know that I knew what you were doing?" It has been 25 years and she still has not spoken to me.
You are so right there monsters no empathy get off on your pain can’t cry etc and the silent treatments and brutal discard😢I’m aware now of the part I played I feel as thow I had no idea what this was I kept searching online I enabled him in a sense by being unaware of how hard I tried to get his love sad
The smirk of admiration and pride when they destroy you, and you being you, react w emotion(ie cry).
Thats the time something really stuck into the pit of my stomach that I couldnt deny anymore or justified it anymore.
Also, you are so right on boundaries. The day I started placing boundaries, the rage came out right after the shaming didnt work and I stuck to my boundaries.
The problem I have now is my son, isnt even in my life anymore, yet he is fixated on still trying to destroy me. He is using blasphemy my name and character now, to anyone that will listen and believe him. I constantly reem myself w the what if I just continued to take it? Could I have taken the shame and kept the peace? Maybe, he is right, I am the problem? Maybe I am the Narc? Maybe I caused him to become this deamon because I am a closet deamon? It is so destructive, and I have to force myself to see the truth through the haze. I watch the videos I have, and the memories I still have that keep replaying in my head, just to keep ahold of the truth.
I find that even when I cut him off finally, I dont allow myself peace. I am trying to do the work and figure out why I deep down dont believe I truely deserve love and peace. Why ai allowed the abuse to go on and take blame for what wasnt mine. I have sat my son down and apologized, and sincere apologie, If whatever I did in his child hood made him feel abandoned or hurt, that I was sorry. I am not perfect, but I wanted us to come together and start to create a motherly son bond. He always agreed, and had me fooled w his small tear in his eyes. I put my trust in him again, and it wasnt long that he broke it again, and when I begged him why he did it again? He promised me last time, didnt he remember? It was always "I didnt say that". Or my fav line " maybe thats how you thought I meant it, but I didnt confirm thats how I meant it"
What does that even mean? Who thinks about wording things like that? When it went to physical abuse, I decided to take the steps out no matter the result. I couldnt continue to stay in the abuse anymore. I have been pointed the finger at, lied about, slandered, judged and condemmed on those lies. If I am honest it sucks, and I cry because it hurts me, but I cant revert back, and I regret nothing about finally seeing that I dont need to take on others consequences, its not my actions to speak for.
OMG - I got shivers down my spine when my ex came up to me the moment I was driving away for good. He leaned into my car window and told me he ran into his 2nd ex-wife that very day. He had a huge smile on his face with a look of enjoyment mixed with superiority as his eyes glinted and said with enthusiasm that she was toothless and homeless and actually asked him for money. He felt like he had won! His first ex-wife died of cancer a few years back, and he has even wished for me to end up dead at my own hands or his.
The devil is a liar, enjoy your new chapter, you are free 👏🏻👏🏻❤️🕊🙏🏻
Sadly, there is a manipulative narcissist in my environment. This person does likes to gaslight, blame, interfere in personal relationships, and lie. At this moment, I can't get away from this person without losing my relationship with a family member. I recognize their destructive behaviour, and have emotionally detached myself from their actions, manipulations and lies.
I’m about 3mo since my divorce from a narcissist. This video made me laugh (at the truths), made me cry (at the truths), and validated what I knew…it WAS grandiose of me to think I could change him. What a dumbass I was. I did do exactly what you said…I tried to turn it around and make SOMETHING about me…which just made him worse. I finally had to end it.
POOR THING IM GLAD YOUR OUT
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR VIDEOS KNOWLEDGE AND PERSONALITY THANKYOU KENNY YOU ALWAYS LOOK NICE
Very helpfull thanks
you know you're being gaslit when you start a conversation or indulge in one and just asking yourself "wtf did I even bother, what is even happening" You have to get out, lowering your expectations and trying to cope is a death sentence. They will run you ragged-
That's so spot on, had that 3 days ago with my mother. I just come off the phone invalidated, guilt ed, shamed and wtf did I bother what the hell is happening! Glad it's not just me, needed that today 👍✌
Great and valuable information
Thank you
Glad it was helpful!
They often call themselves empaths or claim to have a special intuitive gift or supernatural power. A lot of pseudo spiritual new-agers are narcs.
If I visualize the person I want to be with it would be a monk.
@@katray7452OK
Great video thank you. Just subscribed.
thanks Kenny for the great podcast!
That was awesome! Thank you!❤🎉
that is very helpful.......thank you.
Shared and thank you......
You helped me so much, Kenny. This video was so good. Thank you!!!
I'm so glad!
I am healing and have done so after he died; I don’t believe I would fall into the same trap again. I regret the difficult and somewhat wasted years and grasp my part in the long and challenging marriage.
agree, i have one malignant and one covert narc in my old family, they always think they are rich and famous despite empty pocket$. Looks, dress, type of cars, 'face value' are the most important to them. they will test every border, when you get angry their favorite line is 'i'm just joking, why are you so petty?'. gaslighting and triangulation are common, their temper could easily explode whenever they didn't get what they want, just like a toddler. In rare family restaurant gathering, they could say things like 'these food looks so cheap, are they for human consumption?' and threw big tantrum when the waiter is slow to serve them.
Thank you for sharing this information, I have been trying to figure out if am a covert narcissist or just narcissistic personality person, is there a video of sort for myself to watch and know??
I want to know so I don’t hurt anyone but at the same time don’t confuse people for actually being asshole to me
THANKYOU DEAR KENNY FOR YOU YOUR VIDEOS KNOWLEDGE WISDOM AND PERSONALITY SORRY YOU WENT THRU THAT BUT IM GLAD YOUR OUT
Excellent video Kenny!!👏🏻👍🏻
My mother fits this, and I’m pretty sure she is a covert narcissist. It’s 😢, and I now realize that not only does she not love me, she never has and isn’t even capable to love me the way most parents love their children.
It has taken me until now to realise that my mother shows so many of these signs. Most of her actions are quite subtle but as she got older they have become less so. Unfortunately because of her age nothing will change and also being a relative it is hard break ties. Useful video to help myself.
My mother's latest thing is to say to me, I can't do that psychological stuff! She means validation, empathy, understanding! The way she talks, you'd think I was an alien for wanting those things. My childhood makes sense why she never protected me, gave me choices or asked me how I was feeling. She did me a great disservice
IM GONNA TRY AND CARE FOR MYSELF COS MY WHOLE LIFE I PUT OTHERS FIRST ALL THE TIME
THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR BEING YOU FROM ANGELA
I think we also have to state this. Everybody has narcissistic tendencies me. I definitely have what looks like a narcissistic tendency, but I am not a narcissist, especially if you have mind blindness which that’s directly related to a ASD trait for all levels of ASD blindness looks a lot like narcissism. I’ve studied these two topics for freaking forever and even have firsthand personal experience in the subject.
You are so correct. Science has found that the brain of these people is not wired correctly. The fact we all have egos is evident, but they have a disordered ego.
Thank you! Please keep educating us.
Thank you very, very much. I was right that is not normal. 🙏🙏
I have a question, please. After relationship with a Narcissist, is it any possibility other person to become narcissist? Thank you again 🙏
Dreadful behaviour! Cruel too. Kindness is all.
thank you Kenny
So many people enjoy the label of victim. Blame everyone else gives them importance. Some dine out on victim hood forever! No responsibility. Be victorious and walk away, and have a wonderful kind life. ❤
Welp, you described my coworker to a T. Been looking for a new job!
Yep he found a runner for him,of course I didn't know what a runner was,so I didn't hear from him for a week,come to find out she was a crackhead and his runner and he was sleeping with her im sure ,NARC dont care who there Supply is longs as it benefits them, my ex Narc told me one day i was at his house to be quiet because he was getting ready to call his runner/ crackehead supply,im thinking so i have to respect a crackhead i literally felt sick in the stomach,i left feeling sick,1 month later is when we broke up,you have me to come over to treat me bad but you will respect a crackhead,i never did drugs in my life and he know that,i think he thought i was better so he will treat me bad,he use to be on crack to years ago,its a sick cycle wirh them and it never stop unless you stop it and never go back,u feel so happy and peace thsts 3 months i can't get back but im happy im away from him, Single life is Beautiful ❤
I so appreciate you kenny
And I'll add: the one I had to deal with was worse than basil from "faulty towers"...😅
Yeah, it's important to realize it's not just one of those things, but all of them in more or lesser amount.
I'm sure plenty of us may have been guilty of one or more of those in certain instances, but in the end we do care about others and understand that we all have healthy boundaries that deserve respect.
That also means that when someone appears to be a narcissist because one or two points check out, they may simply not know there is a boundary they're crossing and without anyone telling them, they may keep doing so because they are unaware, without bad intentions. Meaning that in a situation where it is brought up, they can pay attention to it and adapt, if they prove to not be narcisssists.
Putting yourself directly in a position of victimhood after each confrontation with or without a narcissist is equally bad, may I add. You have to stand up for yourself and know you have boundaries that need attention! In doing so, you will not easily put yourself in a "persecution-mode", which can also be a sign of narcissism btw... Not wanting to make it political but just look at DJ Trump. Complaining about how bad the world is towards him the whole time.
Narcissists show a lot of similarities with the worldview of a young child who thinks the world evolves around them, who still have to learn about boundaries and realizing other people's feelings/thoughts are important too.
Confidence in protecting your own healthy boundaries is key. It took me a while to stand up for my own boundaries.
Right on the money
It started with the mother- and trained me for every friendship encounter and relationship in my life. I realize I was trained to subjugate myself because of her abuse. They never change, leave, and live a life for you
I don't know why, but I have an inborn instinct about people. I'm in my 80's. There are some people I just get a vibe about and just don't get involved with any more than necessary. Anyone who was too nice or tried to love bomb me immediately made me suspicious. I'm interested in the subject because of certain things going on today. I'm guessing that if your parents raised you with respect and instilled self-esteem you will not become a victim of a narcissist?
I am in the process of recovering but I need professional help, which I will search for, as soon as my grandson gets back to school because now, I care for him. At the moment, I have to deal with siblings who I believe are narcissists. They are very intrusive in my life and I generally fall for their antics and, later on, I realize I have shared too much information about my life with them. I believe their “genius” comes from demonic inputs that they use in order to cause distress in others. After I talk to them, I experience exhaustion and confusion and I am often questioning my actions, my abilities, and my sense of purpose and of common sense and decency. It has been a life long quest for self awareness. To change myself into a person who God intend for me.
I literally 'no contact' with my two malignant narcissist from my old family. tons of peace for me after that, however they relentlessly smear campaign me among my relatives and friends. however i don't really care because I feel that any relatives that simply believe their words without checking, don't deserve to be my relatives.
What if you were deep in thought and just really didn't hear her? I know many people like that. So, I have to just wait until they have a minute to pay attention to me, or I have to get their attention somehow if it is pressing. (And not by smacking them upside the head).
The look when i lost the cat before she left , she smiled and said is it like loosing your daughter? ? ..i never looked back , run brother run god said. And i did . ❤🙏❤️
IVE HAD MALIGNANT NARCS ALL MY LIFE AND THE HURT THEY CAUSED IS AND WAS BEYOND REPAIR
14:35 he was spot on why I am doing this research lol
waaw, I wish I have known this a few years ago
I GOT SMACKED across my head by my mother for failing to see a spire of a church where I had had my baptism . She was showing me the place thru a window of an accelerating train we were on. I was 8 yrs old and struck with how unjust it was. Later I got used to such treatment. She said something that in free translation for Polish would be " you damn blind crow/chicken".
It's very hard when you suspect but you are not completaly sure they are. In my xperience I began to have toxic behaviors too because I was trying to protect myself, but now I don't know if he was just responding to my behavior or was the other way around. I really feel a lot of remorse because.... what if he's not a narcissist and only a childish person?? 😕 I suspect he is a vulnerable narcissist but again, I'm not sure and it's the hardest.
I didn’t start looking into this until I was discarded and she got into a new relationship in a week.
They gaslight you the first time you meet them.
When I see anyone of narcissistic types I don’t even give any time.