Pros outweight cons? You feel happier? Nothing more need be said. The fact you are willing, and able, to share your experiences and guidance to others who may have questions or uncertainties speaks volumes.
One big thing that I've noticed in the trans creators I follow is just how much *happier* they look after transitioning. Like, it's just so obvious how much more comfortable they feel in their own skin, and it's *lovely* to see!
Needed this vid today as I cracked my egg last week and I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow... I'm a 33 year old AMAB intersex child and have been hiding it since as long as I can remember. Thank you for your positive story! We're all valid :)
The way I put it is that I am much happier being not male. I was never very good at being male and it is such a relief that people no longer expect me to fit into what society assumes are male role and behaviors.
You never had to rise to those expectations. That's just sexism. Being male does not require you anything more than a genetic make up. Dress like a woman, you're still a man. You like make up? You're still a man. Becoming a strong person, male or female, is realizing you don't have to answer to societal sexist expectations, and just live your life. There is no need for transition to do this, as you're just buying into another societal expectation. Be 'trans' because it makes your life better than not. Not to avoid societies expectations.
You’re still male. You can be male and a man without being forced into the gender roles men are expected to be in. The trans community literally promotes gender roles while also trying to demolish them. Make it make sense
@@jasonwismer2670 While what you are saying is not inaccurate; it's not the whole truth, either. "Being male" is different for different people. For some of us, we're quite comfortable being non-conforming cis-gender individuals. For others, that non-conformance is dysphoric, and so transitioning can resolve that.
Transition is a great reminder of what an experiment we all are as living beings. Evolution is constantly saying "what if we do this? how about this?" and while we clearly have similarities within our species, we're very much not cookie-cutter assembly-line products. Our own self-modifications must likewise be specific to us.
Coming from a 30 year closeted, who finally came out in 2021, the difference is almost jarring haha. You are awesome, thank you for talking about it, and you look so much more comfortable and happy. Love the channel before, and even more now.
Honestly I just stopped telling people i was trans and now everyone at work and people around me at work just assume I'm a Cis-Woman. Now i guess i am stealth but like... I didn't try to be stealth it just happened because i got tried of coming out over and over again.
Isn't that assumption of you being a cis woman to someone you meet what transitioning is supposed to be? At least once you present yourself as different to what you used to be? You tell the people who have known you for some time as a convenience, to ease the process for those who are a bit slow on the uptake (not that I am particularly quick on the uptake with this subject). But once you have decided what you want to be, you just get on with living a happier, more authentic, life?
@@John.0z Not Every Trans person is the same. For me yeah that's how it is. But for others they like to display or talk about their trans background. It doesn't make them less happy or authentic. It can also make other trans people feel safe around them. Also not everyone is as lucky as me to be-able to just be seen that way. So they don't even get that option. I realize how privileged i am.
@@John.0z An analogy that seems to fit, for me-suppose you grew up in Sweden and moved to the US in your 20s. If you didn't have much of an accent, in casual encounters with people you don't know they might assume you're from the US-and you probably wouldn't want to stand out as a foreigner in those interactions. With people you know, though, that's a big part of your life and it might be weird not to talk about it.
It's not necessarily that you'd want everyone to know you're Swedish, it's that there would be a big chunk of your life that it would be hard to talk about without mentioning that you're Swedish.
Really interesting observations and musings, thanks Planarwalk! Appreciate you letting us in to see what the world looks like from your perspective. Hope you routinely make plenty of time to enjoy keeping further atrophy at bay! Just like with the effects of hormone changes that can come with natural ageing, the expression "move it, or lose it" has wisdom for us all.
I'm an asexual cisgender woman who has PCOS and takes birth control and spironolactone for excess body hair growth. Hope you continue to find health and happiness in the future.
I have a long time friend who transitioned to female over about a year recently, including, what she calls 'bottom surgery.' Both of us are Registered Nurses and we texted nearly daily throughout the process. I'm a cis gender gay male and I got quite a lesson on the finer details, though it seems she didn't experience side effects to the extent that you did. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to talk about the details of your transition so openly in this forum. Everyone's experience differs based on many factors. The most distressing thing in my mind is the difficulty some have with accessing the professional medical care necessary for this process. I cannot help but feel some emotional pain for those forced to go the DIY route. It is certainly not without risks. Fortunately he earned enough money to cover the cost of surgery which ran into the mid $30k and required him to travel out of state to find a surgeon in whom he could have confidence. My friend began her transition via telemedicine consulting for prescriptions and lab monitoring and it worked quite well for her. I seriously had to proof read this message as I've known her for 20 years and still find myself using the wrong pronouns. I hope you'll forgive me if I've missed any.
Planarwalk, I am happy for you. It is good to see that you are living your life in a positive light! To all trans people who may be feeling that the world is against them and that there is no understanding from those not sharing your experience, please know that most people in the world DO want you to be happy and successful. Being the one at the beginning of a major shift in society can be so much more than simply difficult, I can understand, but please keep in mind that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You WILL get past the rough parts of life and be able to find contentment! Stay on the path that you have mapped out for yourself and never completely give in to despair. You matter in this world!
Commenting before watching so I don’t forget to comment Edit: ok, after watching, as someone who grew out their hair, wears nail polish and has mtg cards all over the place, I feel called out.
Thank you for making this video For most videos it is negative ethere there (condescending, entitled or delusional) people react or show these video to often. where your accepting of the good and the bad and show a good understanding Thank you again for making this vid
The treatment of trans people as anti-scientific is nothing less than absolutely absurd. It's the same type of pop science that Young Earth Creationists run off of. Sorry about you dealing with so much hardship, I think things are getting better, everyone just has to hold strong and keep pressing forward!
@rw9207 I'm feeling confused. I'm saying the people that are speaking against trans people's validity and ignoring the science are egregiously wrong, and comparing them to YECs. Did I word it badly, are you agreeing with them, or...?
my bad, sort of...the statement, " The treatment of trans people is anti-scientific..." Can be read in two ways. I assumed you meant HrT... Easy mistake to make.
Re concern about sounding too negative, maybe express it this way: "I thought about all the hassles, the dealing with side effects, the struggles, even those things not working out like I hoped. I looked at all of that and all the rest and I thought, worth it. Definitely worth it."
I'm an old bloke with memory issues and my body wants to change my name to Arthur Rittic. There are a few things I do remember and they are... Be yourself. Bad times just make the good times even sweeter. Without bad times you would not realise how good the good times are/were. You get one shot in life, there are no do-overs. And finally... Regret for all the things you should have done, but didn't is a bad thing to have haunt you in your old age. All the best and enjoy you life.
You’re so right it’s easy to know who you are and it’s hard to tell others, but I think it’s because it’s about an acceptance from others and self doubt .
It's really funny to me how I've started watching you before you've came out, then stopped for a while, and came back to your channel only to see that we've started transitioning at around the same time :з For me, I can't see any negatives about transitioning so far, despite living in a horribly conservative country, but that's thanks to passing privilege, I got quite lucky
What so many transphobes don't seem to understand is that gender euphoria is not the same thing as sexual arousal. It doesn't seem that difficult, but I guess not everyone is able to see the glaringly obvious.
I think the problem stems from them not being able to think with anything other that their sex organs. They then assume everyone else does the same. Life must be hard when you need to run everything by your willy first, it also explains why they are so slow to catch on to things.
As a non-trans person, when I read and hear about trans euphoria, I imagine it as being like someone experiencing non-sexual physical intimacy when they're not used to it. Kind of like those stories you read of guys starting to cry just because their girlfriend is cuddling them. Is that anywhere near the mark?
@@WebeloZappBrannigan Sorta. I would compare it to when someone is really unhappy with their appearance and they finally change something (different haircut, lose/gain weight, build muscle etc). If you've always been dissatisfied with your appearance and someday you reach the point where you look in the mirror and go "damn I look great!" and you're so happy you're finally ok with how you look. I think that's comparable (and can also be part of the journey for transfolks).
@@WebeloZappBrannigan Gender euphoria is like being able to shower for the first time in your life. Like you've been filthy all your life and then you feel clean, more healthy, happier. And it can be overwhelming because nobody told you that's an option until you were in your 20s. And you're overwhelmed, but it feels right.
Sexuality is not just an erection, but romance as well. When you're around your girl friend and she does something cute, you feel wonderful, not that you want to bang her. Its the same with gender euphoria. The trans community bends over backwards to avoid the truth of the issue for many (some, though a minority, truly have no sexual/romantic feelings about it), but having studied the issue for years now, yes, its clearly a sexual and romantic location error. Now, it doesn't mean that we should trash people who have this, just like we don't trash gay people. But there's a reason trans is under the sexual variant LGB...because its sexual. Once again, it doesn't mean we should shame or trash people who have this, but it is important that a person understand who they are.
I have had very few problems since coming out at work. Most of my coworkers have been totally supportive, including a few I was worried about. Only one has actually caused any issues. I'm still a bit paranoid, but everything has gone really well. But the most surprising thing, I actually LIKE being trans. Like, if a space wizard offered me a chance to be born as a cis girl, before I started transitioning, I'd have taken it in a heartbeat, but now I'm not so sure. Like, I'm still not happy with where I am, I still have lots of laser hair removal sessions ahead, I want bottom surgery, I want facial feminization surgery, but I'm at a point where I'm comfortable with myself. I never thought I'd get here, but I have and it feels great!
Easier said than done indeed. I'm right in the middle of it right now. Our current waiting list is 2-3 years and yea.. I am trying DIY because I really can't wait anymore. Its awful.... Thanks for the headsup...
Updaaaate. I succesfully managed to get my prescription through GenderGP and will likely receive the first batch tomorrow. Yea it's DIY... which i wouldn't recommend to anyone really.. but... Yea I can't wait for another 2+ years. I have to make a choice between risk and mental health.
"It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be better". I feel like that is such an important point, and is so easy to forget, or not realise, or get hung up on. I feel like there can be so much pressure to be beyond reproach, like if you can't look like a pin-up girl, then why even bother? And some people will even suggest that if you don't look, sound, act flawlessly (meaning how THEY expect) then clearly you aren't putting in the effort, which means that you don't really care, which must mean that you aren't really trans. Like depression, or being exhausted, or overworked, or struggles with diet and exercise, or a million other things don't affect trans people just as much as cis folk. And it doesn't need to be perfect, and that probably shouldn't be your goal. And at the end of the day, transition is less about any particular outcome, and more about how you feel about yourself, and changing the things about yourself that change how you feel about yourself, and about having the freedom to change those things, and to be able to experiment and figure it out, and decide what feels best for you, and how you feel most comfortable expressing and presenting yourself, and not feeling policed by anyone else's judgements, expectations, or standards.
I don't really care about your or others people's gender. Im sorry so many jerks make a big deal out if it. Thanks for raising the visibility of the issue though and risking dealing with them publicly
I genuinely wish I could start transitioning but apparently the UK government seems to be on a mission to be *more* shit to trans people (although also I have an auto-immune problem which does *not* mix well with HRT so when I finally get to see a consultant about it that's gonna be a fun conversation)
Planarwalk, happy anniversary on coming out. Keep on being a positive presence on the internet. Might not be trans myself, but I do know you've helped more than a few trans folks.
I also came out on April 1st. Take someone's closing shift and post a couple hours late? (half of my friends didn't believe me) Which is shocking to me like dawg I posted a picture with the pills why would I have the pills? use ur noodle. I thought that trick would make it april foolproof. whoops
Health and appearance and other self care is SUCH an important plus! It's amazing how as soon as I started to transition I suddenly started to care about my health. (Almost like one actually wants to live - cringe, right?)
I'm one of those who guessed but didn't comment, as I know a lot of rock musicians; long hair and nail polish is common regardless of sensuality. But I also didn't comment because I didn't care- I was in it because of the content, I wasn't looking for a date. I live for the day when it's not important, where a conversation might go "What's his deal?" "You mean HER deal" "Ah- cool. Did you see her last post?"
i really appreciated hearing the positives of your transition! it seems like there is so much to be afraid of but watching your video reminds me of how much better my life is compared to before i came out. shrinkage is also a real concern for me as i consider vaginoplasty in the future. it seems like such a hassle keeping up after it. the softer skin from hrt hasn’t made things easier down there either. i have to take a lot more care, if you know what i mean 😂
congrats on one year! Definitely a big milestone. I've definitely found my attitudes about my transition changing over the years and I'm sure they will continue to do so (3 years since coming out for me). Here's to many more happy milestones 🥂🏳⚧
It is nice seeing Trans ⚧ people come out who are not extremely annoying. It makes it feel like I have to deal with less irritating people as society eventually learns to accept LGBT people.
It's nice to see vids like this. I'm glad things are improving for you, we do get negatives sure but yes the positives out weigh the negatives by far. Though I have to say spiro has been useless for me, 8 months on it and my T levels are still too high, was feeling a bit down about that lately. It's nice to hear that it's working for you. I will say though, the E is working, slower cus of the T levels but it is working and I can say with solid confidence even with the negatives, it can not outweigh the negatives of not transitioning. Since I started my transition I have not had one single suicidal thought. Before it was daily and that alone makes it positive. It literally saved my life.
I've watched a lot of your videos, especially the ones about the flat earth. I felt that you were like me but I didn't know for sure, many if not all of them were before coming out. I'm glad you were able to take the step I'm taking now
Thank you again for coming out last year - that video was what gave me the push to actually start researching transition. I would be on HRT by now if my endocrinologist hadn't been scheduling more and more tests to try and "debug" my already very low T levels. But full-body laser sessions and mental changes have already improved my wellbeing significantly, I didn't even realize how much dysphoria had affected me.
'If I were a cisgender woman, I would be fine with that.' I think that there is one possible thesis of the transfemme experience. It's not about how or who you adult fun time with, it's about who you are and want to be. L, G, and B are easier for people to understand, because all humans seek connection; love is perhaps the ultimate expression of connection. T, Q, and I, on the other hand, are more internal. To be trans, or queer, or between the binaries biologically, is not something that even if you are an amazing orator, that another person may understand. For better or worse, we all live in our own heads, some more than others.
HRT is something that is obviously a relatively new thing that there are going to be some unforseen issues, but it will all be figured out and I expect it to be better understand how to work with individuals metabolism, individual genetics, etc. over the next decade or so, and I hope it becomes a standardized process for the people it benefits. Thank you for putting out your content and having an ongoing, open and informative conversation about these topics.
Things should be perfect, and it's a tragedy that we have to settle for better. I've been thinking a lot about how I can get the upsides of social and medical transition without the downsides. I haven't gotten things perfect either, but I have a lot of good ideas my doctor didn't offer me because my doctor would have me settle for better.
"Your favorite kiwi transgirl" is the greeting of fellow kiwi trans girl youtuber Alice in Wonder1and. If Planar starts saying it there's gonna be a war for who is truly the best kiwi trans girl!
@@HotDogTimeMachine385 I hope not to look back on the Kiwi Transgirl war of 2024 with dread. But 'favourite' is subjective and probably varies from person to person, so it could be quite forgiving.
I'm happy to know you better. I saw the other video, so this wasn't new news to me. I'm sorry about the HRT side effects. I don't ever say anything to anyone about whether they are trans unless they raise the subject. That seems like their business. Of course, I haven't had anyone in my really close orbit who is trans. One thing is that I am not super observant or good at correctly judging things about people. There could be such a spectrum of who people are and how they express themselves, that I don't want to guess and say something inappropriate. Also, here in the USA, there is a lot of hate towards trans persons and I wouldn't want them to be concerned about hate from me.
13:24 OOOOHHHHHH you're from NZ THAT is your accent i feel very dumb Edit: ok to give me some credit, the only other New Zealander I've ever heard i think is Toby from Jet Lag: The Game
Voice training.. it is not as much feeling it being your voice and more getting a higher pitch that seems kinda natural even though constraint.. i showet a colleague my former voice because she asked if HRT altered my voice, i said no it was training.. and used my former normal voice and she was shocked 😂 i didn't really get how much it had changed before that, both because her reaction and because it was physical hard to use my old voice now, in the same degree as when i training my now normal voice..
I've been following you on and off for a few years. My only problem with you being trans is that I tend to use the word "dude" a lot and it's gonna take some effort to avoid that. 😂 Regardless, I'm happy for you that you can live your authentic self. I didn't know you were trans until you were a guest on one of Alice's vids. I mean, I noticed the nails and the hair, but a lot of cis guys like to play around with things like that (me included), so I didn't give it much thought other than "Hey, he (I still thought you were a he) has painted his nails. He should have gone with [colour] instead though. I think that would have looked better. Oh, well. It's his choice. Now let's laugh at some idiot flat earthers."
I'm bi/pan which I've known since I was 13 or so, and I came out as bi (because I didn't know the word pan yet) around age 17 or so, to everyone at school. But then I started university, and while I think I causally mentioned it to some of my friends, I pretty soon met my now wife and since I'm amab I superficially appear straight, so my sexuality never naturally comes up in everyday life. So unless I actively keep coming out nobody will know. I've since realised that I'm probably somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum too, not sure what exactly because understanding attraction is hard, especially when I'm also alexithymic (meaning I don't have easy access to consciously understand my own feelings). Interestingly I first concluded that I was bi because I figured I had no feelings that was only for one gender so I either had to be bi or asexual, but I thought since I had horny thoughts sometimes that meant I couldn't be asexual (not how it actually works, but this was before AVEN so I'm not even sure where I knew the term from). More recently I've realised I'm nonbinary or agender; and during lockdown I started expanding my wardrobe with lots of "female" clothes like shawls, cardigans and skirts and I started growing my hair long etc. But while I have worn shawls and cardigans in public, and I've always worn very colourful clothes most my life and I haven't bought blue jeans and other "male uniform" type clothes like navy/gray/black hoodies etc for 20 years or so; just randomly showing up in public in a skirt without explicitly coming out first feels weird. So I only wear them at home. But I have kept a rainbow flag as my Slack status for a whole year now since last pride month (though since I'm quite open about my ADHD and have been hinting about my autism; they could possibly think that I just forgot to change the status... which is part of the fun of doing it that way); and I have they/them pronouns on most websites that have that option under my real name, even GitHub, so it's not really a secret if anyone is looking. And I'm blatantly open about my sexuality, gender and neurotype, online under my real name too. But it feels weird to just announce it to my colleagues, they're not that close friends anyway. But I recently went on a small meetup for queer tech people in Oslo, which was _really_ nice. It felt so good to be with other queer people and be seen as queer by them without having to make a proclamation about it. By simply showing up I implicitly declared myself queer, and by wearing a neclace with beads in the colours of the nonbinary flag they got to ask me about my gender in a non judgemental way. It made me realise I probably need to be more visible and out somehow, and I actually need to be more a part of the queer community even if I'm naturally invisibly queer.
My blood pressure is too high to start HRT, so I need to get in contact with my GP to fix that first. Curious about what treatment might be offered I looked up blood pressure medication and in a list of about 5 drugs, there was Spironolactone... I'll need to see what the Doc says but I find it amusing that the key to me getting started on HRT might be to start Spiro first.
Good luck! I had a cousin who wanted to start HRT, but it was the mid-nineties and their heart wasn't strong enough and they were just in too poor of health overall to start. They lost touch with my side of the family when I was a kid (I'd bet my last dollar that it's because of them not being straight and cis) so I'm not sure how they're doing, but I hope they're well and happy.
(I'm assuming you want estrogen HRT, because of the way you're finding spiro funny) I don't get why untreated hypertension would disqualify you from getting feminizing HRT. There's some evidence that transdermal and injectable estradiol lower blood pressure. When bodybuilders take excessive amounts of testosterone their blood pressure goes up dangerously, so it stands to reason getting the testosterone out of your body would bring your blood pressure down. If anything, your doctor should be cheering for you to get on HRT sooner.
@@diablominero Concern about risks of blood clotting/DVT from estradiol. I think they wanted everything to be at a 'normal' level before disrupting the system just as a precaution. Last visit to doc it was low enough that they were happy and sounds like I don't need to do anything, but now need to wait on blood tests coming back and see what they say next...
@@IT_217 the risk of DVT from transdermal or injected estradiol is the same as a cis woman's DVT risk. Would they make a cis woman with the same blood pressure go on testosterone? Obviously not. I don't know of you're experiencing your doctor's cowardice or their transphobia, but from that description you're not experiencing their unbiased, reasonable decisions.
transitioning is quite a ride, and if i had a pound for every time I have had to come out since I came out I would be a richer girl than I am for sure. well i say since i came out but as it feels to me i was transitioning before I realised I was, if that makes any kind of sense, not sure how common it is to have that lightbulb moment of that's why i have been x,y and Z. and pros definitely happier, actually taking care of myself, discovering i dont hate clothes i just never got any joy from the male flavoured ones. thanks for sharing its good to know the commonalities of this journey. as for your voice pretty much 98 percent of the video it was not sounding male to me, i hate I drop my voice lower when interacting with not friends habit from masking for decades and trying to appear more manly i think.
Coming out as trans over and over and over and over again… On one hand, it is extremely disturbing that we have to do it. On the other hand, it’s OK to be a “brand ambassador.” I’ve realized that my journey isn’t just for me, it’s for the next person. What I do, what I say, how I act, the battles I fight, will make it better or worse for the next person that follows me. There are days when I don’t want that label, or being seen or identified in any way as trans. However, on the days that I do, someone will have a whispered side-bar conversation with me about themselves, or their child. As to the linguistic issues with calling yourself “trans” instead of “transgender woman”. I am fine with us calling ourselves either one as language is both universal and personal. We don’t need gatekeepers on language.
With the way the UK's NHS is like at present DIY is the only option in my case. There is no way I can afford to go private(it is around £1400 every 2 years just to be on their books plus the costs of the actual meds, appointments and blood tests). I do pay for my blood tests though(mainly because my NHS GP refused to do blood tests for hormone levels). I did do my research before starting DIY HRT. I started on CPA as a T blocker and Estrogen pills before switching to estrogen patches which made me itch like mad moving to estrogen gels. After a year I dropped CPA because of high prolactin levels and went mono with the gel. According to the blood tests I have had my levels are well within female normal ranges. If someone is going to do DIY I suggest they do their research first and remember this stuff is not cheap. With blood tests I have easily spent at least £3,000 on HRT, blockers, and blood tests. And I still got maybes 2 years before the NHS gets around to me. I will be well into my 2nd puberty if not fully completed by then. 3 years in. 2nd puberty is great, lol.
Yeah spiro didn't hit me too hard but estrogen can slow down bowel speed as well, so dietary adjustments can end up necessary too. Also if you develop period-adjacent symptoms, constipation can be one of those as well.
Couldn't have said that any better. One time I was was in Bmed recently because of SI (I know it wasn't the time my wife kidnapped my daughter, I can't remember if it was the time I was in the hospital for SI a few days after being the victim of a hate crime or if it was the time I was in because my abuser found out I was gathering evidence of her abuse and so filed before I could to control the narrative, but either way high stress situation while being trans and autistic) I had one of the doctors ask me to my face "Well you know you didn't have all these issues before starting transitioning, are you sure this is right for you?" and my reply was something along the lines of "despite things being rough right now at least I know what happy feels like, at least I am learning self worth and self respect, I don't care about these negatives, I don't care about the hate crimes or abuse, I am much much happier now than I ever was when I was just numb to everything, yes I am sure this is right for me", and his reply was basically "yeah, that is what everyone who is actually trans replies, I just had to ask". It is so hard to explain what the good is because there is no good word for all the good, all you can explain is that the good outweighs the bad by a lot even though it is really easy to point out all the bad".
I've never seen someone make a reply like that before. Usually I do a lot of watching of content of detransitioners and people who mostly only talk about the negative side effects of transitioning and I assume doing this would make me not want to transition. Same with just watching Terfs yell into microphone that I can never be a women. And to be honest all its doing to me so far is literally make me more depressed inside
@@defennia Terfs have no clue what they are talking about, and detransitioners who are against allowing others to transition are just jaded because they didn't get the support they needed and so don't want anyone else to be happy just like the homophobic gays who are only homophobic because they were never allowed to be happy and so they don't want younger generations to have what they never were allowed(and that is is a very small percentage of detransitioners, most of them are still fully for transitioning but due to certain things in their lives whether it be money or social support or hate or what not can not do so themselves). You do what is right for you, and realize that despite all my hardships that a vast majority of people have been supportive and friendly even those who you would expect to be not understanding. All the hate and strife is all from a very loud vocal minority, sure they can be a dangerous minority but they are a minority. And knowing some of the struggles that I have had if you were to ask me if I were to go back and chose again if I was going to transition knowing all the hardships I would face, my answer wouldn't change I would still transition because all the good it has done for me is well worth the hardships, plus at the end of the day the shit with my (soon to be ex)wife just allowed me to see the abuse I was going through sooner than I would have because it was always a toxic relationship, I just was blind to the toxicity because she is a good manipulator much like most abusers. So don't feel depressed about it, it 100% is worth doing if it is right for you, anything I may have had to suffer or lost because of transitioning I have gained more positive and what few negative things will have a lasting impression on my life is mainly because of how much my autism amplifies being overwhelmed and not the initial negative itself. Just go in understanding that there will be a tiny tiny handful of people who will try to ruin your life for you wanting to be you, but that a vast majority of people will be willing to support you and that the positives of being able to be yourself will (in a vast majority of cases, there are very few exceptions) far exceed any costs of doing it. Knowing what I know today I would still 100% chose to do the same thing if given the option to go back and the only thing I would change is not judging myself for being "weird" and being more comfortable being myself earlier because it took me months to feel comfortable buying clothes and things that make me feel good because of being scared of what other people think where as in reality all the sense of judgement was actually just self judgement and no one else is actually paying attention to me they are all too busy with their lives to care about what other people look like. It still feels kind of silly knowing that I was scared to wear my clothes near my home and instead would have to change at my therapists office because I was scared of what the neighbors would think, specially my next door neighbor who had Texas state plates, I thought they would be super judgmental but turned out they are some of the most accepting people I know. So yeah if given the option to redo publicly transitioning, the only change I would have made is having more confidence in myself.
The thought off living a life you know is false is heartbreaking. Attacking those people because it upsets your ideal of what the world should be is beyond repugnant. I've been lucky enough to be subbed to Contrapoints and Philosophy Tube long before they came out. Nothing makes me feel better about humanity than people finding themselves whatever they may be. The time of Mr and Mrs and Miss is fading as it should.
Before you came out whenever I'd see a new video from you I'd think there's that person I like so much. I liked what you had to say and how you said it. Now that you have come out I think There's that person I like so much. I like what you have to say and how you say it. Also, you look great in lipstick :D You go girl, as the young people used to say :D
To be fair, I have no idea how I would talk about saome of those subjects, and I'm a straight white CIS man. I can't imagine how much more of a pain the ass it must be to add the trans cultural baggage to that discussion.
In some cases after your system has switched over to estrogen dominant you don't need T blockers anymore. I went off my blockers for several months before orchi and my T levels remained at a low level.
Concerning side effect chain... mood. I had a swollowing problem that led to a thyroid removal which led to hypocalcimia which led to calcium supplements which led to constipation which led to fiber which is a fun balance of gas. Btw the swallowing was solved by treating acid reflux. Not related to thyroid. So yeah, surgerys have risks. Uhg
Have you ever experienced regret going through with your decision? How have hormones effected your body, because over time I've heard people say that hormones will negatively deteriorate Natal male bodies badly. Sorry for asking harsh questions, but as someone with dysphoria I struggle with even considering the idea of transitioning
@@defennia It's genuinely np. All very good questions. I'm not going to lie and tell you it was all plum trees and puppies. But, I would say there were, for me, more positives than negative. I transitioned late. So I already had many of the secondary characteristics. That being said, I was genetically quite lucky. Over the 3/4 years it took to lose the muscle mass and still having a heavier skeleton, the muscles were no longer strong enough. So, I developed bad back ache and occasionally, my right shoulder slightly dislocates... it's not as bad as it it sounds tho.... Also, you're sex drive will drop through the floor... I still can get aroused. It just takes more to get me there and morning glory just doesn't happen. The positive side of that is, I have a clearer head and think without carnal imperatives dictating my thoughts.... This is why Tras-women on HrT are no threat to Cis-women and the suggestion that they are, is just BS.
@@defennia ...Oh, and of course there were times were I felt down and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Generally caused by some external social cause... A nasty off the cuff comment from someone... Republican's spouting hate and calling me, " a child molesting sexual predator"... YK, something like that. But, No, Personally, I have no regrets after 15 years of being out.
@@rw9207 Interesting, I remember getting told by someone in an off hand comment once who said to me if I transition there would be 8 year honeymoon period before I consider detransitioning and then I just be another statistic for conservatives to prove how evil "trans ideology is"
Kinda suprised.(Not a frequent viewer) Remember something with "why i wear nailpolish" where i thought this was kinda denied. (maybe just my recollection or maybe not out back then.) But hey whatever you like and makes you happy. Good you like it.
To specify a little more about voice training.. first try to make a less hard voice at your starting pitch.. If you dont know what i mean, it should feel like the vibrations are concentrated in the top back of your mouth, and not in your chest.. just make a sound dont focus on words.. yet.. Try notice where your larynx are, when you get the soft sounding sound, when you have done that a couple of times (or 100) you can try train the muscles around your larynx without doing any sound, by placing the larynx at the position it is in when you do the sound. It is just like training any other muscles, hold for 10 seconds and relax.. this way you dont get those tired vocal cords.. at some point the larynx will stay at the elevation you have trained.. Now you can try with a higher pitch.. the softer voice from the raised larynx will by default make it a little higher in pitch but not much.. Try different pitches, just go nuts.. be playful.. try imitate peoples voices, the pronunciation of words, and all that.. cartoon characters are fine too.. 😅 When you find what you like, it is just practicing, it is changing your speech patterns, it takes time.. For me which have done acting and got voice lessons back the and had for feminization too it was easier.. the deeper your starting point is the longer it will take, and remember some women have deeper voices than others.. It took me around 8 month to get it to a point where i dont need to remember to do it, i just do.. 😅 As i said i got prior training, and my voice was luckily not that deep unless i tried to.. I tried to train the deep part away already as young, and i took DIY hormons for around 6 month at the age of 17.. it might be why i am 15-20 cm lower than the other men in my family and the same height as my sister 😅
Spironolactone is a bit problematic in my opinion, it has many unwanted effects for that use… Is bicalutamide an option? It’s a lot cleaner as an antiandrogen…
Pros outweight cons? You feel happier? Nothing more need be said. The fact you are willing, and able, to share your experiences and guidance to others who may have questions or uncertainties speaks volumes.
One big thing that I've noticed in the trans creators I follow is just how much *happier* they look after transitioning. Like, it's just so obvious how much more comfortable they feel in their own skin, and it's *lovely* to see!
Yeah, they're embracing their delusion. Alcoholics are happier when they're drunk. Drug addicts are happier when they're high.
Okay I don't want to burst your bubble but you should look up the people who are Not happy after they transitioned..
As someone experiencing it, omg is it like night and day. There's a reason the words "blossom" and "bloom" are used lol
@@_allegra also the word "pdychosis"
@@JoeyP946Yeah, statistics don't support the anecdotal youtube comments.
Outrage sells incredibly well.
I'm glad your transition is creating more joy in your life.
Needed this vid today as I cracked my egg last week and I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow... I'm a 33 year old AMAB intersex child and have been hiding it since as long as I can remember. Thank you for your positive story! We're all valid :)
Good for you I hope the Dr appointment went really well and you are on your way. The joy from that step was enormous for me I hope as much for you.
I can’t believe that she said “food can cost money” without plugging her Patreon
Money must never stand between a person and food!
HOW DA FUQ AS IT BEEN 1 WHOLE YEAR ALREADY?!?!?
Was just thinking that!! Time has flown!
Mainly by going around the sun a full rotation
The way I put it is that I am much happier being not male. I was never very good at being male and it is such a relief that people no longer expect me to fit into what society assumes are male role and behaviors.
That was always my understanding of why people want to transition. I am really happy for you feeling happier, and I hope that continues for you. 😁
You never had to rise to those expectations. That's just sexism. Being male does not require you anything more than a genetic make up. Dress like a woman, you're still a man. You like make up? You're still a man. Becoming a strong person, male or female, is realizing you don't have to answer to societal sexist expectations, and just live your life. There is no need for transition to do this, as you're just buying into another societal expectation. Be 'trans' because it makes your life better than not. Not to avoid societies expectations.
You’re still male. You can be male and a man without being forced into the gender roles men are expected to be in. The trans community literally promotes gender roles while also trying to demolish them. Make it make sense
@@jasonwismer2670 While what you are saying is not inaccurate; it's not the whole truth, either. "Being male" is different for different people. For some of us, we're quite comfortable being non-conforming cis-gender individuals. For others, that non-conformance is dysphoric, and so transitioning can resolve that.
@@AndaraBledin it's 100% accurate.
Transition is a great reminder of what an experiment we all are as living beings. Evolution is constantly saying "what if we do this? how about this?" and while we clearly have similarities within our species, we're very much not cookie-cutter assembly-line products. Our own self-modifications must likewise be specific to us.
...Evolution is decent with inherent modification.
Taking hormones and removing or adding body parts isn't evolution.
Coming from a 30 year closeted, who finally came out in 2021, the difference is almost jarring haha. You are awesome, thank you for talking about it, and you look so much more comfortable and happy. Love the channel before, and even more now.
Love your content, more power to you my friend. This is a good realistic video about the subject, something not common lately..
I think Alice will send her army your way if use that phrase 😂
Truly a bottom
I'm 8 months on hrt and have never been more content and at peace with myself. The good really does outweigh the bad.
Honestly I just stopped telling people i was trans and now everyone at work and people around me at work just assume I'm a Cis-Woman. Now i guess i am stealth but like... I didn't try to be stealth it just happened because i got tried of coming out over and over again.
Isn't that assumption of you being a cis woman to someone you meet what transitioning is supposed to be? At least once you present yourself as different to what you used to be? You tell the people who have known you for some time as a convenience, to ease the process for those who are a bit slow on the uptake (not that I am particularly quick on the uptake with this subject). But once you have decided what you want to be, you just get on with living a happier, more authentic, life?
@@John.0z
Not Every Trans person is the same. For me yeah that's how it is. But for others they like to display or talk about their trans background. It doesn't make them less happy or authentic. It can also make other trans people feel safe around them. Also not everyone is as lucky as me to be-able to just be seen that way. So they don't even get that option. I realize how privileged i am.
@@BasicTechGirl Fair enough. Thank you for the information.
We are all different, and in many different ways. 😁
@@John.0z An analogy that seems to fit, for me-suppose you grew up in Sweden and moved to the US in your 20s. If you didn't have much of an accent, in casual encounters with people you don't know they might assume you're from the US-and you probably wouldn't want to stand out as a foreigner in those interactions. With people you know, though, that's a big part of your life and it might be weird not to talk about it.
It's not necessarily that you'd want everyone to know you're Swedish, it's that there would be a big chunk of your life that it would be hard to talk about without mentioning that you're Swedish.
Best wishes. Don't let the haters bring you down. And thanks for this interesting information.
The Earth is round and i am still flat.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 Wish I were! Hate leashing the ‘girls’!
If Alice DOESN'T playfully fight you for that ending it'll be a travesty.
Would Alice do such a thing? I don't know. Go ask Alice.
I think RUclips stopped showing me new videos for some reason. Glad I saw this.
Same for me!
Really interesting observations and musings, thanks Planarwalk! Appreciate you letting us in to see what the world looks like from your perspective. Hope you routinely make plenty of time to enjoy keeping further atrophy at bay! Just like with the effects of hormone changes that can come with natural ageing, the expression "move it, or lose it" has wisdom for us all.
Baphy has acquired a hat.
yes this is the most important takeaway from the video. i agree
I'm an asexual cisgender woman who has PCOS and takes birth control and spironolactone for excess body hair growth.
Hope you continue to find health and happiness in the future.
I have a long time friend who transitioned to female over about a year recently, including, what she calls 'bottom surgery.' Both of us are Registered Nurses and we texted nearly daily throughout the process. I'm a cis gender gay male and I got quite a lesson on the finer details, though it seems she didn't experience side effects to the extent that you did. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to talk about the details of your transition so openly in this forum.
Everyone's experience differs based on many factors. The most distressing thing in my mind is the difficulty some have with accessing the professional medical care necessary for this process. I cannot help but feel some emotional pain for those forced to go the DIY route. It is certainly not without risks.
Fortunately he earned enough money to cover the cost of surgery which ran into the mid $30k and required him to travel out of state to find a surgeon in whom he could have confidence.
My friend began her transition via telemedicine consulting for prescriptions and lab monitoring and it worked quite well for her.
I seriously had to proof read this message as I've known her for 20 years and still find myself using the wrong pronouns. I hope you'll forgive me if I've missed any.
Planarwalk, I am happy for you. It is good to see that you are living your life in a positive light!
To all trans people who may be feeling that the world is against them and that there is no understanding from those not sharing your experience, please know that most people in the world DO want you to be happy and successful. Being the one at the beginning of a major shift in society can be so much more than simply difficult, I can understand, but please keep in mind that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You WILL get past the rough parts of life and be able to find contentment! Stay on the path that you have mapped out for yourself and never completely give in to despair. You matter in this world!
Commenting before watching so I don’t forget to comment
Edit: ok, after watching, as someone who grew out their hair, wears nail polish and has mtg cards all over the place, I feel called out.
started watching this while doing my e shot ✨
seems quite fitting
and a reminder to everyone on spiro to take a drink! we need that water!
Thank you for making this video
For most videos it is negative ethere there (condescending, entitled or delusional) people react or show these video to often.
where your accepting of the good and the bad and show a good understanding
Thank you again for making this vid
Damn it's already been a year‽
Happy Pride 🌈 🌈
The treatment of trans people as anti-scientific is nothing less than absolutely absurd. It's the same type of pop science that Young Earth Creationists run off of. Sorry about you dealing with so much hardship, I think things are getting better, everyone just has to hold strong and keep pressing forward!
No it isn't... And As some who has been on HrT for almost 15 years, I would be happy to explain why, at length, IF you are open to learning.
@rw9207 I'm feeling confused. I'm saying the people that are speaking against trans people's validity and ignoring the science are egregiously wrong, and comparing them to YECs. Did I word it badly, are you agreeing with them, or...?
my bad, sort of...the statement, " The treatment of trans people is anti-scientific..." Can be read in two ways. I assumed you meant HrT... Easy mistake to make.
Ummm… it’s one of the most unscientific things out there 😂
@@rhymerlegend2717 what is? be specific and use your words.
Re concern about sounding too negative, maybe express it this way: "I thought about all the hassles, the dealing with side effects, the struggles, even those things not working out like I hoped. I looked at all of that and all the rest and I thought, worth it. Definitely worth it."
I'm an old bloke with memory issues and my body wants to change my name to Arthur Rittic. There are a few things I do remember and they are... Be yourself. Bad times just make the good times even sweeter. Without bad times you would not realise how good the good times are/were. You get one shot in life, there are no do-overs. And finally... Regret for all the things you should have done, but didn't is a bad thing to have haunt you in your old age. All the best and enjoy you life.
You’re so right it’s easy to know who you are and it’s hard to tell others, but I think it’s because it’s about an acceptance from others and self doubt .
It's really funny to me how I've started watching you before you've came out, then stopped for a while, and came back to your channel only to see that we've started transitioning at around the same time :з
For me, I can't see any negatives about transitioning so far, despite living in a horribly conservative country, but that's thanks to passing privilege, I got quite lucky
What so many transphobes don't seem to understand is that gender euphoria is not the same thing as sexual arousal. It doesn't seem that difficult, but I guess not everyone is able to see the glaringly obvious.
I think the problem stems from them not being able to think with anything other that their sex organs. They then assume everyone else does the same. Life must be hard when you need to run everything by your willy first, it also explains why they are so slow to catch on to things.
As a non-trans person, when I read and hear about trans euphoria, I imagine it as being like someone experiencing non-sexual physical intimacy when they're not used to it. Kind of like those stories you read of guys starting to cry just because their girlfriend is cuddling them. Is that anywhere near the mark?
@@WebeloZappBrannigan Sorta. I would compare it to when someone is really unhappy with their appearance and they finally change something (different haircut, lose/gain weight, build muscle etc). If you've always been dissatisfied with your appearance and someday you reach the point where you look in the mirror and go "damn I look great!" and you're so happy you're finally ok with how you look. I think that's comparable (and can also be part of the journey for transfolks).
@@WebeloZappBrannigan Gender euphoria is like being able to shower for the first time in your life. Like you've been filthy all your life and then you feel clean, more healthy, happier. And it can be overwhelming because nobody told you that's an option until you were in your 20s. And you're overwhelmed, but it feels right.
Sexuality is not just an erection, but romance as well. When you're around your girl friend and she does something cute, you feel wonderful, not that you want to bang her. Its the same with gender euphoria. The trans community bends over backwards to avoid the truth of the issue for many (some, though a minority, truly have no sexual/romantic feelings about it), but having studied the issue for years now, yes, its clearly a sexual and romantic location error. Now, it doesn't mean that we should trash people who have this, just like we don't trash gay people. But there's a reason trans is under the sexual variant LGB...because its sexual. Once again, it doesn't mean we should shame or trash people who have this, but it is important that a person understand who they are.
I have had very few problems since coming out at work. Most of my coworkers have been totally supportive, including a few I was worried about. Only one has actually caused any issues. I'm still a bit paranoid, but everything has gone really well. But the most surprising thing, I actually LIKE being trans. Like, if a space wizard offered me a chance to be born as a cis girl, before I started transitioning, I'd have taken it in a heartbeat, but now I'm not so sure. Like, I'm still not happy with where I am, I still have lots of laser hair removal sessions ahead, I want bottom surgery, I want facial feminization surgery, but I'm at a point where I'm comfortable with myself. I never thought I'd get here, but I have and it feels great!
Always happy to learn more about Trans folks. Glad you are happier. That is the only thing that matters IMO.
Easier said than done indeed. I'm right in the middle of it right now. Our current waiting list is 2-3 years and yea.. I am trying DIY because I really can't wait anymore. Its awful.... Thanks for the headsup...
Christ I hope my waiting list is shorter than that. I don't know what I'd do if I see a wait that long.
Updaaaate. I succesfully managed to get my prescription through GenderGP and will likely receive the first batch tomorrow. Yea it's DIY... which i wouldn't recommend to anyone really.. but... Yea I can't wait for another 2+ years. I have to make a choice between risk and mental health.
@@ruadeil_zabelin I hope it goes well, I fully understand that mindset.
@@secutorprimus Thank youu! I hope you can get what you need soon too!
"It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be better". I feel like that is such an important point, and is so easy to forget, or not realise, or get hung up on. I feel like there can be so much pressure to be beyond reproach, like if you can't look like a pin-up girl, then why even bother? And some people will even suggest that if you don't look, sound, act flawlessly (meaning how THEY expect) then clearly you aren't putting in the effort, which means that you don't really care, which must mean that you aren't really trans. Like depression, or being exhausted, or overworked, or struggles with diet and exercise, or a million other things don't affect trans people just as much as cis folk. And it doesn't need to be perfect, and that probably shouldn't be your goal. And at the end of the day, transition is less about any particular outcome, and more about how you feel about yourself, and changing the things about yourself that change how you feel about yourself, and about having the freedom to change those things, and to be able to experiment and figure it out, and decide what feels best for you, and how you feel most comfortable expressing and presenting yourself, and not feeling policed by anyone else's judgements, expectations, or standards.
I don't really care about your or others people's gender. Im sorry so many jerks make a big deal out if it. Thanks for raising the visibility of the issue though and risking dealing with them publicly
I genuinely wish I could start transitioning but apparently the UK government seems to be on a mission to be *more* shit to trans people (although also I have an auto-immune problem which does *not* mix well with HRT so when I finally get to see a consultant about it that's gonna be a fun conversation)
Planarwalk, happy anniversary on coming out. Keep on being a positive presence on the internet. Might not be trans myself, but I do know you've helped more than a few trans folks.
I had an idea before.... but i had to obey the egg prime directive
I suspected before you came out, and I am so happy you found the confidence and courage to be yourself.
Let me quote: "This is an egg."
I also came out on April 1st.
Take someone's closing shift and post a couple hours late? (half of my friends didn't believe me)
Which is shocking to me like dawg I posted a picture with the pills why would I have the pills? use ur noodle.
I thought that trick would make it april foolproof. whoops
Health and appearance and other self care is SUCH an important plus! It's amazing how as soon as I started to transition I suddenly started to care about my health. (Almost like one actually wants to live - cringe, right?)
I'm one of those who guessed but didn't comment, as I know a lot of rock musicians; long hair and nail polish is common regardless of sensuality. But I also didn't comment because I didn't care- I was in it because of the content, I wasn't looking for a date. I live for the day when it's not important, where a conversation might go "What's his deal?" "You mean HER deal" "Ah- cool. Did you see her last post?"
I've been on spiro for my heart on and off over the years, and... yeah, I can sympathize. The struggle is real. But, on the upside: pickles exist.
i really appreciated hearing the positives of your transition! it seems like there is so much to be afraid of but watching your video reminds me of how much better my life is compared to before i came out. shrinkage is also a real concern for me as i consider vaginoplasty in the future. it seems like such a hassle keeping up after it. the softer skin from hrt hasn’t made things easier down there either. i have to take a lot more care, if you know what i mean 😂
congrats on one year! Definitely a big milestone. I've definitely found my attitudes about my transition changing over the years and I'm sure they will continue to do so (3 years since coming out for me). Here's to many more happy milestones 🥂🏳⚧
It is nice seeing Trans ⚧ people come out who are not extremely annoying.
It makes it feel like I have to deal with less irritating people as society eventually learns to accept LGBT people.
It's nice to see vids like this. I'm glad things are improving for you, we do get negatives sure but yes the positives out weigh the negatives by far. Though I have to say spiro has been useless for me, 8 months on it and my T levels are still too high, was feeling a bit down about that lately.
It's nice to hear that it's working for you.
I will say though, the E is working, slower cus of the T levels but it is working and I can say with solid confidence even with the negatives, it can not outweigh the negatives of not transitioning.
Since I started my transition I have not had one single suicidal thought. Before it was daily and that alone makes it positive. It literally saved my life.
I spent most of this video wondering why baphy had a hat on and then i finally realized winter is coming down south.
I relate to the continuously coming out to people (I’m aroace.). I’m glad you’re happy and feeling like the real you.
I was surprised, but I'm happy to follow you on your journey. As a cis white male it helps bust preconceptions and I think you're awesome :)
I've watched a lot of your videos, especially the ones about the flat earth. I felt that you were like me but I didn't know for sure, many if not all of them were before coming out. I'm glad you were able to take the step I'm taking now
Thank you again for coming out last year - that video was what gave me the push to actually start researching transition. I would be on HRT by now if my endocrinologist hadn't been scheduling more and more tests to try and "debug" my already very low T levels. But full-body laser sessions and mental changes have already improved my wellbeing significantly, I didn't even realize how much dysphoria had affected me.
Fair play to you Planarwak🙏👏🫶
'If I were a cisgender woman, I would be fine with that.'
I think that there is one possible thesis of the transfemme experience. It's not about how or who you adult fun time with, it's about who you are and want to be.
L, G, and B are easier for people to understand, because all humans seek connection; love is perhaps the ultimate expression of connection.
T, Q, and I, on the other hand, are more internal. To be trans, or queer, or between the binaries biologically, is not something that even if you are an amazing orator, that another person may understand. For better or worse, we all live in our own heads, some more than others.
i remember that egg video and I honestly thought you had already come out before then and I had missed it.
HRT is something that is obviously a relatively new thing that there are going to be some unforseen issues, but it will all be figured out and I expect it to be better understand how to work with individuals metabolism, individual genetics, etc. over the next decade or so, and I hope it becomes a standardized process for the people it benefits. Thank you for putting out your content and having an ongoing, open and informative conversation about these topics.
HRT itself isn't new, it's been around for decades for menopausal women; only its use as a transitionary is new
I've missed your coming out video so I wish you all the best for your journey now.
I loved this take on it. Thanks for spreading your joy!
Things should be perfect, and it's a tragedy that we have to settle for better. I've been thinking a lot about how I can get the upsides of social and medical transition without the downsides. I haven't gotten things perfect either, but I have a lot of good ideas my doctor didn't offer me because my doctor would have me settle for better.
Every "negative" that you've said gave me the chills.... it's the accent, I guess.
I like the idea of introducing yourself as a "Your Favorite Kiwi Trans Girl", you should do that!
"Your favorite kiwi transgirl" is the greeting of fellow kiwi trans girl youtuber Alice in Wonder1and. If Planar starts saying it there's gonna be a war for who is truly the best kiwi trans girl!
@@HotDogTimeMachine385 I hope not to look back on the Kiwi Transgirl war of 2024 with dread. But 'favourite' is subjective and probably varies from person to person, so it could be quite forgiving.
I'm happy to know you better. I saw the other video, so this wasn't new news to me.
I'm sorry about the HRT side effects.
I don't ever say anything to anyone about whether they are trans unless they raise the subject. That seems like their business. Of course, I haven't had anyone in my really close orbit who is trans. One thing is that I am not super observant or good at correctly judging things about people. There could be such a spectrum of who people are and how they express themselves, that I don't want to guess and say something inappropriate. Also, here in the USA, there is a lot of hate towards trans persons and I wouldn't want them to be concerned about hate from me.
13:24 OOOOHHHHHH you're from NZ
THAT is your accent
i feel very dumb
Edit: ok to give me some credit, the only other New Zealander I've ever heard i think is Toby from Jet Lag: The Game
Jet Lag: The Game mentioned
A year already, time sure does fly.
That was an April 'fuel' announcement? Now, you can go full speed ahead?! On your side!
Voice training.. it is not as much feeling it being your voice and more getting a higher pitch that seems kinda natural even though constraint.. i showet a colleague my former voice because she asked if HRT altered my voice, i said no it was training.. and used my former normal voice and she was shocked 😂 i didn't really get how much it had changed before that, both because her reaction and because it was physical hard to use my old voice now, in the same degree as when i training my now normal voice..
I've been following you on and off for a few years. My only problem with you being trans is that I tend to use the word "dude" a lot and it's gonna take some effort to avoid that. 😂
Regardless, I'm happy for you that you can live your authentic self. I didn't know you were trans until you were a guest on one of Alice's vids. I mean, I noticed the nails and the hair, but a lot of cis guys like to play around with things like that (me included), so I didn't give it much thought other than "Hey, he (I still thought you were a he) has painted his nails. He should have gone with [colour] instead though. I think that would have looked better. Oh, well. It's his choice. Now let's laugh at some idiot flat earthers."
Those IPL machines did nothing for my facial hair. I got 2 IPL machines. I used them for about 40 weeks over 3 years. Nothing changed.
I've always wondered, myself.
You are my favorite kiwi trans girl!😄 (Alice is my second favorite)
I'm glad you're happy with how your transition is going!
I'm bi/pan which I've known since I was 13 or so, and I came out as bi (because I didn't know the word pan yet) around age 17 or so, to everyone at school. But then I started university, and while I think I causally mentioned it to some of my friends, I pretty soon met my now wife and since I'm amab I superficially appear straight, so my sexuality never naturally comes up in everyday life. So unless I actively keep coming out nobody will know.
I've since realised that I'm probably somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum too, not sure what exactly because understanding attraction is hard, especially when I'm also alexithymic (meaning I don't have easy access to consciously understand my own feelings). Interestingly I first concluded that I was bi because I figured I had no feelings that was only for one gender so I either had to be bi or asexual, but I thought since I had horny thoughts sometimes that meant I couldn't be asexual (not how it actually works, but this was before AVEN so I'm not even sure where I knew the term from).
More recently I've realised I'm nonbinary or agender; and during lockdown I started expanding my wardrobe with lots of "female" clothes like shawls, cardigans and skirts and I started growing my hair long etc. But while I have worn shawls and cardigans in public, and I've always worn very colourful clothes most my life and I haven't bought blue jeans and other "male uniform" type clothes like navy/gray/black hoodies etc for 20 years or so; just randomly showing up in public in a skirt without explicitly coming out first feels weird. So I only wear them at home.
But I have kept a rainbow flag as my Slack status for a whole year now since last pride month (though since I'm quite open about my ADHD and have been hinting about my autism; they could possibly think that I just forgot to change the status... which is part of the fun of doing it that way); and I have they/them pronouns on most websites that have that option under my real name, even GitHub, so it's not really a secret if anyone is looking. And I'm blatantly open about my sexuality, gender and neurotype, online under my real name too. But it feels weird to just announce it to my colleagues, they're not that close friends anyway.
But I recently went on a small meetup for queer tech people in Oslo, which was _really_ nice. It felt so good to be with other queer people and be seen as queer by them without having to make a proclamation about it. By simply showing up I implicitly declared myself queer, and by wearing a neclace with beads in the colours of the nonbinary flag they got to ask me about my gender in a non judgemental way. It made me realise I probably need to be more visible and out somehow, and I actually need to be more a part of the queer community even if I'm naturally invisibly queer.
My blood pressure is too high to start HRT, so I need to get in contact with my GP to fix that first. Curious about what treatment might be offered I looked up blood pressure medication and in a list of about 5 drugs, there was Spironolactone... I'll need to see what the Doc says but I find it amusing that the key to me getting started on HRT might be to start Spiro first.
Good luck! I had a cousin who wanted to start HRT, but it was the mid-nineties and their heart wasn't strong enough and they were just in too poor of health overall to start. They lost touch with my side of the family when I was a kid (I'd bet my last dollar that it's because of them not being straight and cis) so I'm not sure how they're doing, but I hope they're well and happy.
(I'm assuming you want estrogen HRT, because of the way you're finding spiro funny)
I don't get why untreated hypertension would disqualify you from getting feminizing HRT. There's some evidence that transdermal and injectable estradiol lower blood pressure. When bodybuilders take excessive amounts of testosterone their blood pressure goes up dangerously, so it stands to reason getting the testosterone out of your body would bring your blood pressure down. If anything, your doctor should be cheering for you to get on HRT sooner.
@@diablominero Concern about risks of blood clotting/DVT from estradiol. I think they wanted everything to be at a 'normal' level before disrupting the system just as a precaution. Last visit to doc it was low enough that they were happy and sounds like I don't need to do anything, but now need to wait on blood tests coming back and see what they say next...
@@IT_217 the risk of DVT from transdermal or injected estradiol is the same as a cis woman's DVT risk. Would they make a cis woman with the same blood pressure go on testosterone? Obviously not. I don't know of you're experiencing your doctor's cowardice or their transphobia, but from that description you're not experiencing their unbiased, reasonable decisions.
im with you whatever the path is
When my breasts started to develop, it made me car sick! lol
oh i guess my wasp identification guide is unscientific and can't be trusted because it was writen by a trans woman, damn 😔
transitioning is quite a ride, and if i had a pound for every time I have had to come out since I came out I would be a richer girl than I am for sure. well i say since i came out but as it feels to me i was transitioning before I realised I was, if that makes any kind of sense, not sure how common it is to have that lightbulb moment of that's why i have been x,y and Z. and pros definitely happier, actually taking care of myself, discovering i dont hate clothes i just never got any joy from the male flavoured ones. thanks for sharing its good to know the commonalities of this journey. as for your voice pretty much 98 percent of the video it was not sounding male to me, i hate I drop my voice lower when interacting with not friends habit from masking for decades and trying to appear more manly i think.
Coming out as trans over and over and over and over again… On one hand, it is extremely disturbing that we have to do it. On the other hand, it’s OK to be a “brand ambassador.” I’ve realized that my journey isn’t just for me, it’s for the next person. What I do, what I say, how I act, the battles I fight, will make it better or worse for the next person that follows me. There are days when I don’t want that label, or being seen or identified in any way as trans. However, on the days that I do, someone will have a whispered side-bar conversation with me about themselves, or their child.
As to the linguistic issues with calling yourself “trans” instead of “transgender woman”. I am fine with us calling ourselves either one as language is both universal and personal. We don’t need gatekeepers on language.
With the way the UK's NHS is like at present DIY is the only option in my case. There is no way I can afford to go private(it is around £1400 every 2 years just to be on their books plus the costs of the actual meds, appointments and blood tests). I do pay for my blood tests though(mainly because my NHS GP refused to do blood tests for hormone levels).
I did do my research before starting DIY HRT. I started on CPA as a T blocker and Estrogen pills before switching to estrogen patches which made me itch like mad moving to estrogen gels. After a year I dropped CPA because of high prolactin levels and went mono with the gel.
According to the blood tests I have had my levels are well within female normal ranges.
If someone is going to do DIY I suggest they do their research first and remember this stuff is not cheap. With blood tests I have easily spent at least £3,000 on HRT, blockers, and blood tests. And I still got maybes 2 years before the NHS gets around to me. I will be well into my 2nd puberty if not fully completed by then. 3 years in. 2nd puberty is great, lol.
Yeah spiro didn't hit me too hard but estrogen can slow down bowel speed as well, so dietary adjustments can end up necessary too. Also if you develop period-adjacent symptoms, constipation can be one of those as well.
Gratz on your year damn has it been that long lol. Anyways keep your metal t shirts women look great in them.
Couldn't have said that any better. One time I was was in Bmed recently because of SI (I know it wasn't the time my wife kidnapped my daughter, I can't remember if it was the time I was in the hospital for SI a few days after being the victim of a hate crime or if it was the time I was in because my abuser found out I was gathering evidence of her abuse and so filed before I could to control the narrative, but either way high stress situation while being trans and autistic) I had one of the doctors ask me to my face "Well you know you didn't have all these issues before starting transitioning, are you sure this is right for you?" and my reply was something along the lines of "despite things being rough right now at least I know what happy feels like, at least I am learning self worth and self respect, I don't care about these negatives, I don't care about the hate crimes or abuse, I am much much happier now than I ever was when I was just numb to everything, yes I am sure this is right for me", and his reply was basically "yeah, that is what everyone who is actually trans replies, I just had to ask".
It is so hard to explain what the good is because there is no good word for all the good, all you can explain is that the good outweighs the bad by a lot even though it is really easy to point out all the bad".
I've never seen someone make a reply like that before.
Usually I do a lot of watching of content of detransitioners and people who mostly only talk about the negative side effects of transitioning and I assume doing this would make me not want to transition. Same with just watching Terfs yell into microphone that I can never be a women. And to be honest all its doing to me so far is literally make me more depressed inside
@@defennia Terfs have no clue what they are talking about, and detransitioners who are against allowing others to transition are just jaded because they didn't get the support they needed and so don't want anyone else to be happy just like the homophobic gays who are only homophobic because they were never allowed to be happy and so they don't want younger generations to have what they never were allowed(and that is is a very small percentage of detransitioners, most of them are still fully for transitioning but due to certain things in their lives whether it be money or social support or hate or what not can not do so themselves).
You do what is right for you, and realize that despite all my hardships that a vast majority of people have been supportive and friendly even those who you would expect to be not understanding. All the hate and strife is all from a very loud vocal minority, sure they can be a dangerous minority but they are a minority. And knowing some of the struggles that I have had if you were to ask me if I were to go back and chose again if I was going to transition knowing all the hardships I would face, my answer wouldn't change I would still transition because all the good it has done for me is well worth the hardships, plus at the end of the day the shit with my (soon to be ex)wife just allowed me to see the abuse I was going through sooner than I would have because it was always a toxic relationship, I just was blind to the toxicity because she is a good manipulator much like most abusers.
So don't feel depressed about it, it 100% is worth doing if it is right for you, anything I may have had to suffer or lost because of transitioning I have gained more positive and what few negative things will have a lasting impression on my life is mainly because of how much my autism amplifies being overwhelmed and not the initial negative itself. Just go in understanding that there will be a tiny tiny handful of people who will try to ruin your life for you wanting to be you, but that a vast majority of people will be willing to support you and that the positives of being able to be yourself will (in a vast majority of cases, there are very few exceptions) far exceed any costs of doing it. Knowing what I know today I would still 100% chose to do the same thing if given the option to go back and the only thing I would change is not judging myself for being "weird" and being more comfortable being myself earlier because it took me months to feel comfortable buying clothes and things that make me feel good because of being scared of what other people think where as in reality all the sense of judgement was actually just self judgement and no one else is actually paying attention to me they are all too busy with their lives to care about what other people look like. It still feels kind of silly knowing that I was scared to wear my clothes near my home and instead would have to change at my therapists office because I was scared of what the neighbors would think, specially my next door neighbor who had Texas state plates, I thought they would be super judgmental but turned out they are some of the most accepting people I know.
So yeah if given the option to redo publicly transitioning, the only change I would have made is having more confidence in myself.
The thought off living a life you know is false is heartbreaking. Attacking those people because it upsets your ideal of what the world should be is beyond repugnant. I've been lucky enough to be subbed to Contrapoints and Philosophy Tube long before they came out. Nothing makes me feel better about humanity than people finding themselves whatever they may be. The time of Mr and Mrs and Miss is fading as it should.
Before you came out whenever I'd see a new video from you I'd think there's that person I like so much. I liked what you had to say and how you said it.
Now that you have come out I think There's that person I like so much. I like what you have to say and how you say it. Also, you look great in lipstick :D
You go girl, as the young people used to say :D
You look really nice in that shirt ^^
Alice in wonder1and has something to say about you calling yourself our favourite kiwi trans girl. You have some competition.
To be fair, I have no idea how I would talk about saome of those subjects, and I'm a straight white CIS man. I can't imagine how much more of a pain the ass it must be to add the trans cultural baggage to that discussion.
In some cases after your system has switched over to estrogen dominant you don't need T blockers anymore. I went off my blockers for several months before orchi and my T levels remained at a low level.
I never thought about your sexuality before and to be honest, I don't know. You seem like the same person I'm glad that you're happy now though
Concerning side effect chain... mood. I had a swollowing problem that led to a thyroid removal which led to hypocalcimia which led to calcium supplements which led to constipation which led to fiber which is a fun balance of gas. Btw the swallowing was solved by treating acid reflux. Not related to thyroid.
So yeah, surgerys have risks. Uhg
It sound like "There Was an Trans Lady Who Swallowed a Fly". That's rough but I hope you're better now. ♥
I’m envious of your cheekbones! 😊
Kenrith's Transformation is an interesting card for this video
I watched that video and did not miss it. ❤
I have been on Spiralectone 100mg and Estrofem 4mg, for about 14+yrs.... If you need any questions answered, I'm happy to do so.
Have you ever experienced regret going through with your decision?
How have hormones effected your body, because over time I've heard people say that hormones will negatively deteriorate Natal male bodies badly.
Sorry for asking harsh questions, but as someone with dysphoria I struggle with even considering the idea of transitioning
@@defennia It's genuinely np. All very good questions.
I'm not going to lie and tell you it was all plum trees and puppies. But, I would say there were, for me, more positives than negative.
I transitioned late. So I already had many of the secondary characteristics. That being said, I was genetically quite lucky.
Over the 3/4 years it took to lose the muscle mass and still having a heavier skeleton, the muscles were no longer strong enough. So, I developed bad back ache and occasionally, my right shoulder slightly dislocates... it's not as bad as it it sounds tho.... Also, you're sex drive will drop through the floor... I still can get aroused. It just takes more to get me there and morning glory just doesn't happen. The positive side of that is, I have a clearer head and think without carnal imperatives dictating my thoughts.... This is why Tras-women on HrT are no threat to Cis-women and the suggestion that they are, is just BS.
@@defennia ...Oh, and of course there were times were I felt down and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Generally caused by some external social cause... A nasty off the cuff comment from someone... Republican's spouting hate and calling me, " a child molesting sexual predator"... YK, something like that. But, No, Personally, I have no regrets after 15 years of being out.
@@rw9207 Interesting, I remember getting told by someone in an off hand comment once who said to me if I transition there would be 8 year honeymoon period before I consider detransitioning and then I just be another statistic for conservatives to prove how evil "trans ideology is"
Kinda suprised.(Not a frequent viewer) Remember something with "why i wear nailpolish" where i thought this was kinda denied. (maybe just my recollection or maybe not out back then.)
But hey whatever you like and makes you happy. Good you like it.
To specify a little more about voice training.. first try to make a less hard voice at your starting pitch..
If you dont know what i mean, it should feel like the vibrations are concentrated in the top back of your mouth, and not in your chest.. just make a sound dont focus on words.. yet..
Try notice where your larynx are, when you get the soft sounding sound, when you have done that a couple of times (or 100) you can try train the muscles around your larynx without doing any sound, by placing the larynx at the position it is in when you do the sound. It is just like training any other muscles, hold for 10 seconds and relax.. this way you dont get those tired vocal cords.. at some point the larynx will stay at the elevation you have trained..
Now you can try with a higher pitch.. the softer voice from the raised larynx will by default make it a little higher in pitch but not much..
Try different pitches, just go nuts.. be playful.. try imitate peoples voices, the pronunciation of words, and all that.. cartoon characters are fine too.. 😅
When you find what you like, it is just practicing, it is changing your speech patterns, it takes time..
For me which have done acting and got voice lessons back the and had for feminization too it was easier.. the deeper your starting point is the longer it will take, and remember some women have deeper voices than others..
It took me around 8 month to get it to a point where i dont need to remember to do it, i just do.. 😅
As i said i got prior training, and my voice was luckily not that deep unless i tried to..
I tried to train the deep part away already as young, and i took DIY hormons for around 6 month at the age of 17.. it might be why i am 15-20 cm lower than the other men in my family and the same height as my sister 😅
so that cannel is fran blanch, they have merch with the logo franlab
Spironolactone is a bit problematic in my opinion, it has many unwanted effects for that use… Is bicalutamide an option? It’s a lot cleaner as an antiandrogen…