4 Tips For Coming Out To Your Parents | Queer 101 | The Advocate

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  • Опубликовано: 9 окт 2017
  • Susan Cottrell, the Christian mom behind freedhearts.org, gives you 4 tips for coming out to your parents (as someone with two queer kids, she's been there before).
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Комментарии • 2 тыс.

  • @bongwaterjuulpod4009
    @bongwaterjuulpod4009 6 лет назад +4028

    Why am I having trouble coming out as Pan?? I HAVE GAY DADS WTF 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @nou3598
      @nou3598 6 лет назад +396

      Adrianna jarvis if you have gay dads and you want to come out chances are they will except you

    • @uniwolfsandbox1250
      @uniwolfsandbox1250 6 лет назад +277

      Adrianna jarvis just say “hey dads I know ur gay and stuff right well I’m pansexual please don’t get mad” idk something like that maybe

    • @flutterlynx
      @flutterlynx 6 лет назад +213

      Maybe make a Pansexual pun or something (Because puns are the best :’D) or make them pancakes with a note saying you’re pan? Idk- everything is food related with me o o p s

    • @micahmcjunkin4961
      @micahmcjunkin4961 6 лет назад +71

      Just come home with a lover. Since they’re gay they probably won’t care.

    • @micahmcjunkin4961
      @micahmcjunkin4961 6 лет назад +19

      Just come home with a lover. Since they’re gay they probably won’t care.

  • @homoudalshaya30
    @homoudalshaya30 6 лет назад +3720

    I want her to adopt me

    • @boyfries9284
      @boyfries9284 5 лет назад +24

      Same

    • @kio1261
      @kio1261 5 лет назад +44

      depressed cloud me too
      She literally seems like the nicest person on Earth

    • @m.7877
      @m.7877 5 лет назад +8

      I love your pic lmao 😂

    • @devitamarie3024
      @devitamarie3024 4 года назад +3

      Same;-;

    • @yuleisiruiz472
      @yuleisiruiz472 4 года назад +1

      Yo también quiero q me adopte ella

  • @awakeinthegarden589
    @awakeinthegarden589 5 лет назад +939

    It’s absolutely sucks that we have to even think of what can go wrong, a backup plan, a bag, etc. Like this is ridiculous. You should be able to be who you are, be loved and accepted no matter who/what your sexual orientation is. Smh

    • @justahuman7537
      @justahuman7537 5 лет назад +5

      @Jane Dough He also believes lies, cursing, murder in your heart, worrying and lust are abominations. Why don't we complain about that? Maybe because as humans we worry, we lie, we have murder in our hearts, and we lust. So I guess we couldn't complain about that even though all sins are equal and everyone is equal. You can't change from being gay. You can change from being bi, pan, poly, ace, etc. You can't change from being straight either. Goodbye now.

    • @justahuman7537
      @justahuman7537 5 лет назад +9

      @Jane Dough Jesus= God. Jesus was never wrong. Jesus never said homosexuals go to hell. He didn't say anything about gay people, bi, pan, poly, ace people. So what's your point? Also, with having you in quotation marks, would mean I'm not actually a person or just faking being a person. Bye bye, moron.

    • @justahuman7537
      @justahuman7537 5 лет назад +3

      @Jane Dough John 3 :16. Oh look, a big kid knows how to research things in a Bible. You're growing up so fast.

    • @justahuman7537
      @justahuman7537 5 лет назад +5

      @Jane Dough you would fit right in with the Westboro Baptist Church.

    • @justahuman7537
      @justahuman7537 5 лет назад +4

      @Jane Dough mocking? I'm mocking you? Really? I'm just saying the truth. Like i said, you would fit right in with the Westboro Baptist Church.

  • @danielewenkhare3600
    @danielewenkhare3600 4 года назад +683

    I’m black, gay and PROUD and I LOVE 💗 💖 💕 my LGBTQ+🏳️‍🌈 family

  • @dominicweber
    @dominicweber 6 лет назад +1716

    Damn this scares me

    • @robertcottrell5826
      @robertcottrell5826 5 лет назад +11

      If Susan can do anything to help, please reach out to us at www.FreedHearts.org

    • @gabthebeautiful663
      @gabthebeautiful663 5 лет назад +20

      @@tommarvoloriddle3338 I'm pretty sure my whole family is homobic and my parent too

    • @ssscopegames643
      @ssscopegames643 5 лет назад +3

      Sylla Atlas lets keep this at 400 likes

    • @ssscopegames643
      @ssscopegames643 5 лет назад +1

      Sydney McQueary same

    • @alexkontonasakis1770
      @alexkontonasakis1770 5 лет назад +1

      @Sydney McQueary saaaaaaaaaaaaaame

  • @dandymandy7342
    @dandymandy7342 6 лет назад +3909

    Guys I think im coming out to my dad today. Wish me luck?

    • @-moluminati-8078
      @-moluminati-8078 6 лет назад +170

      Hope all goes well , everyone deserves respect ✊

    • @dandymandy7342
      @dandymandy7342 6 лет назад +111

      Thank you.

    • @satantcor1546
      @satantcor1546 6 лет назад +120

      I'm coming out to my mom soon. I know this is late, but I hope the best for you! :')

    • @bonnibaby
      @bonnibaby 6 лет назад +71

      How did it go?

    • @Crystal_12gem
      @Crystal_12gem 6 лет назад +35

      Mandy's Funky Pops ho did it go?

  • @jessypan8239
    @jessypan8239 3 года назад +52

    The fact that this random mom on the internet told me that i matter, that i'm worthy, that i deserve to loved and to be loved, looking straight into the camera and looking hella serious about that, just broke my heart

  • @cayliefuller7668
    @cayliefuller7668 5 лет назад +94

    My daughter coming out to me as gay would be the least of my worries. There's so many terrible things that can happen in the world, and being gay isn't one of them.

  • @vibewithjules6118
    @vibewithjules6118 6 лет назад +1813

    I bust into tears at the message at the end.

  • @colbicoffee8414
    @colbicoffee8414 6 лет назад +1658

    It's nice to know that it's A Christian mother saying this. My parents are SUPER Christian and it's so scary to say that I'm Bi. I'm only 16 but I really realized that i'm bi when I was about ten. They are always wondering why I want to cut my "beautiful" hair. And why I don't "dress like a girl." I'm super scared to come out, but I have a plan. I think I'm going to tell my friend Kristyn first, just to get it out of my system. And if I'm ready after that, I'll tell my family.
    Update: They disowned me. I’m living with Kristyn.

    • @eighthbrother3111
      @eighthbrother3111 5 лет назад +20

      That gamertag though

    • @Astra.6889
      @Astra.6889 5 лет назад +143

      @Jane Dough that is Christian, my parents are strong Christians yet they go to a church that supports lgbtq+. Heck, im Christian and I'm bi

    • @Astra.6889
      @Astra.6889 5 лет назад +80

      @Jane Dough im not saying that being gay is Christian, im saying that being straight dosent define if you are Christian or not.

    • @Astra.6889
      @Astra.6889 5 лет назад +52

      @Jane Dough what i meant when i said " that is Christian" is that acceptance,no matter if you like lgbtq+ or not is what Christianity is about, Acceptance. I was taught to never exclude or treat someone bad based on their sexuality,race, skin color or appearance. So i follow by that rule. I just dont see the harm in accepting everyone equally.

    • @diosito9161
      @diosito9161 5 лет назад +54

      Jane Dough Gods main message is to be good, if by being good you hurt people and tell them they are living sins then you have failed as a christian.

  • @KitanKate
    @KitanKate 5 лет назад +93

    Her: Hey kids!
    Me a 22 year old: Meeeee

    • @sagegrace
      @sagegrace 3 года назад +3

      Ahhhhh🤣🤣🤣 21 years old for me.

    • @KitanKate
      @KitanKate 3 года назад +1

      @@sagegrace oh god i have aged

  • @av2709
    @av2709 5 лет назад +149

    Once I was eating out with my mom and started talking about the lgbtq+ club at my school and my queer friends
    Then told her I dont know what I am
    She said "just remember god made Adam and eve not Adam and Adam and not eve and eve"
    I almost cried
    I'm bi
    I was planning on coming out that day
    But the decide no

    • @alyssakennedy5788
      @alyssakennedy5788 3 года назад +15

      I know that this was posted a year ago, but I'm sorry ❤❤

    • @gutslisteningtoasmr9801
      @gutslisteningtoasmr9801 3 года назад +12

      It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Please do not deadname Eve.

    • @domincgavito4955
      @domincgavito4955 3 года назад +12

      I’m catholic, male and female was to reproduce, SO WHAT! We have enough people in the world currently I am bi and don’t care who you are attracted to, yes male and female bodies are meant to be together physically but it is our mind that truly matters

    • @tinymxnticore
      @tinymxnticore 3 года назад +3

      That really sucks. In a way, it was a gift that she told you who *she" was before you told her who *you* were. I really hope that you're doing well and safe!

    • @kittycake1294
      @kittycake1294 3 года назад +2

      Adam and Eve is scientifically incorrect. We come from evolution.

  • @thehorsesnamewasfriday8695
    @thehorsesnamewasfriday8695 6 лет назад +759

    It’s sad children have to even take the precautionary measures. I hope I’m the future it’s more of a norm and a whatever moment.

    • @howaboutno8769
      @howaboutno8769 4 года назад +14

      It is starting to become the norm in the 2000s but some people still don’t understand that times are changing and it’s finally legal for a man to marry a man or a woman to marry a woman

    • @janetmissjacksonifyourenas2904
      @janetmissjacksonifyourenas2904 4 года назад

      how is it sad lmao isn’t it common

    • @user-on1du9xt8u
      @user-on1du9xt8u 4 года назад +1

      Don’t mind me :,D not really in some countries they will strangle you for being part of the LGBT community

    • @howaboutno8769
      @howaboutno8769 4 года назад

      arina rashed - (I meant in America, gay marriage became legal in ALL states in 2015)

    • @Zyairewest
      @Zyairewest 4 года назад

      Well well well How the turntables u did it?

  • @alexanderhamilton6249
    @alexanderhamilton6249 6 лет назад +774

    Guys, I'm gonna tell my mom tomorrow. Wish me luck eep!

  • @diosito9161
    @diosito9161 5 лет назад +100

    I have this problem that is I know my parents aren’t exactly homofobic, they actually have an issue with accepting that there is more than just gay, lesbian and straight, and i have tought them lots of thing about sexuality and gender, but i am really afraid of them taking my sexuality as a joke, i am afraid that if i say “I am queer” they will laugh and mock me because i have seen them do that when they talk about queer people in general. I AM SCARED. And i wish i weren’t because they are my parents, they people i love most. I am also afraid that if i come out to them they will tell me or think that i am confused because of my age, they will think that because i am fifteen i am still too young to be sure and that i will probably realize soon that i am actually straight. I want them to take me seriously because my sexuality is really important to me, but i am not sure they will, i actually don’t think they will. Especially my mom, once i told her that sometimes i felt attracted to women (this was a while ago) and she told me that it was normal but that i was just confused and she made it clear that she wanted me to be straight. I know my parents are not abusive and aren’t going to kick me out or be mean to me, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to see your parents hoping for you to be different, to be normal. It simply hurts, and i wish it didn’t.

    • @em-pr5jv
      @em-pr5jv 3 года назад +5

      same! i have the same problem.

    • @nataliamidzio
      @nataliamidzio 3 года назад +5

      You're not alone... I'm TERRIFIED of coming out because my parents are quite stereotypical about LGBTQ+ people and even though none of us are religious, I still think they'd say the whole "It's just a phase" rubbish and wouldn't take me seriously... One time my mum got really mad when she found out I was cosplaying with my friends whenever we went over to each others' houses, and if she gets that heated up over dressing up as characters on a day that isn't Halloween then how would she react to me coming out? Telling my parents things is hard in general, they don't let me express myself that much. I indentify as a girl, but I like a lot of things people consider "Boy-ish", especially when it comes to clothes. They don't let me cut my hair until it gets too long to brush properly, and even then they don't let me cut it any more than a few centimetres above elbow-length, they only allow me to wear "girly" clothes and they constantly buy me presents based on what they assume girls my age like. Like, apart from cosplaying, which they never let me do anyways, I don't ever use makeup, other than earrings I never wear jewellery, etc. At this point, I was more free to do what I liked doing when I was 8 than I am now. Being mega shy and socially anxious around anyone other than my closest friends and my teachers, or when doing something I'm passionate about, doesn't help.

    • @em-pr5jv
      @em-pr5jv 3 года назад +1

      @@nataliamidzio mine are the exact same way!

    • @nataliamidzio
      @nataliamidzio 3 года назад

      @@em-pr5jv I hope they will accept you when you decide to come out ❤️

    • @stargirlabi_111
      @stargirlabi_111 3 года назад +1

      My parents literally laugh or go cold when I say I have a crush on a girl it’s heartbreaking

  • @notecontaronmal6515
    @notecontaronmal6515 4 года назад +92

    Me: chilling in bed with my wife
    My son: moms, I have something to tell you...
    My wife: what is it honey?
    My son: I-i-I think I’m straight
    My wife and I: *gasp*

    • @lusiamei8518
      @lusiamei8518 2 года назад +14

      Why gasp?? Women are pretty and amazing and breathtaking so it's understandable

    • @ezra8177
      @ezra8177 2 года назад +2

      @@lusiamei8518 best comment there is

    • @astronaut6110
      @astronaut6110 2 года назад

      @@ezra8177 ikr

  • @bloodystuffing6567
    @bloodystuffing6567 6 лет назад +636

    I’m coming out on June 1st because its the first day of pride month.

    • @kookiethings2595
      @kookiethings2595 6 лет назад +17

      Dylan O’Connell im 11 and i need help

    • @miawilliams3867
      @miawilliams3867 6 лет назад +17

      Dylan O’Connell tou should come out on September 23... Its national coming out day lol

    • @caledonut8899
      @caledonut8899 5 лет назад +7

      @@miawilliams3867 September 11th*

    • @MBTAMoreRailfan
      @MBTAMoreRailfan 5 лет назад +12

      Bloody Stuffing my Bday is in June so MIGHT come out.

    • @calaway_the_rabbit8349
      @calaway_the_rabbit8349 5 лет назад +3

      @@MBTAMoreRailfan fuck bday is in june too im on the fence of coming out

  • @kristalindsay5417
    @kristalindsay5417 6 лет назад +448

    I just came out to my dad and he's ok with it, but I just feel weird around him now...

    • @roseandkenz
      @roseandkenz 5 лет назад +17

      Krista Lindsay same this is exactly how I am with my dad now

    • @rickishotaf1332
      @rickishotaf1332 5 лет назад +10

      Krista Lindsay that happened to me when i came out to my mom..

    • @roseandkenz
      @roseandkenz 5 лет назад +58

      Jane Dough you probably have lustful thoughts or you gossip.right now you are judging people, which that in itself is a sin. You probably had sex before marriage that is a sin too. God condemns eating Pork. You probably do that as well. So please carry on from this positive/ helpful comment section. Thank you

    • @roseandkenz
      @roseandkenz 5 лет назад +27

      Jane Dough it is not gods written word.it is mans written word. Man wrote the Bible. You can say "god wrote it through them" but no. The Bible was written by MAN. That is a fact. Men are sinful. Men will add what they want to the Bible by sinful nature. You can say god wrote it all you want but it IS man who wrote it

    • @roseandkenz
      @roseandkenz 5 лет назад +25

      Jane Dough you came into this comment section being judgmental and not Christian like at all. You call yourself a Jesus follower? Where is your peace? Where is you're kindness? You sound like your trying to be better than other people, which is a sin, and you are being very prideful. You could have written a peaceful message about Jesus and God, but no you had to judge and tell other people they are sinners and sinning when you too are so hypocritical it makes me want to cry. You are the reason people don't like Christianity and christians. Christians follow Jesus. Jesus was a kind, caring, accepting person. If you can't accept someone just because they love their own gender shame on you. Why aren't you commenting "bible wisdom" on a video about rape? Or murder? You have nothing better to do than comment and spread negativity. I hope you got what you wanted.

  • @Lotus-sp6cu
    @Lotus-sp6cu 4 года назад +24

    The fact that she said she was a Christian makes me really happy. Christan bisexual in a loving and supportive household of Christans, not out yet but confident I'll be supported.

  • @laurenxurarakacosplays859
    @laurenxurarakacosplays859 3 года назад +7

    my middle school would say this every single day in the morning; "you are important. You matter no matter what, we believe in you,and you belong here. Have a great day [my school name]" it was so nice to hear honestly!

  • @-moluminati-8078
    @-moluminati-8078 6 лет назад +328

    This video made me cry, I'm gonna come out to my dad tomorrow! Ill finally be able to say that I'm bi!

  • @maddinjonson411
    @maddinjonson411 6 лет назад +209

    oh boy am i scared... im the only gay person in my family that i know. oof its gonna be hard.

    • @bluebanana_x4670
      @bluebanana_x4670 5 лет назад +8

      You go dude!!!

    • @sxflyer5410
      @sxflyer5410 5 лет назад +11

      I think thaťs normal. In my extended family there is nobody gay, bi, whatever (or at least not out yet). Oh wait, there is me xD

    • @gavim
      @gavim 3 года назад +1

      Yea its kinda hard. I only know me and my cousin in the lgbtq community in my family ( that we know of )

    • @alydelgadop5636
      @alydelgadop5636 2 года назад +1

      i know it's hard, I'm bi and im the only lgbtq+ person in my family and we are a lot.. im scared to coming out cause my parents are christians

  • @kystrickland9450
    @kystrickland9450 5 лет назад +24

    THIS WOMAN IS A GIFT AND I LOVE HER

  • @euphoria7372
    @euphoria7372 3 года назад +22

    I just wanted to comment this for anyone who's in need.
    You matter.
    Your feelings matter.
    You are perfect just the way you are.
    Don't ever from to oppress your feelings.
    Walk with pride🌈
    If you suffer from PTSD/depression/Anxiety/etc
    Know that it will get better. Just keep staying strong.
    I've suffered from all those thing and I try my best to help others.
    Please try to talk to someone about how you feel♡
    Stay safe

  • @michaelcollier5277
    @michaelcollier5277 6 лет назад +225

    This was honestly one of the most practical, and realistic coming out videos I've seen yet. I think too many lgbt+ people my age (I'm 19) assume that just because it's 2018, or 2017, or whatever year, that their parents will somehow be okay with it; simply because society has come a long way in the past decade or so. I think this has led to the epidemic of young homeless lgbt people, because they are coming out to the wrong people too early.

    • @gameshowguy2000
      @gameshowguy2000 5 лет назад

      2019 now. But yes, THINGS CHANGE OVER TIME. Something our religious BIBLE does, too.

    • @Jo_JoTeeheee
      @Jo_JoTeeheee 2 года назад

      Lol it’s 2022 now

    • @The_TinesJathian
      @The_TinesJathian 2 года назад

      @@gameshowguy2000 Finally someone recognizes that the bible has changed over time. I hope you mean it in a good way lol.

  • @ashtonsshoe7848
    @ashtonsshoe7848 6 лет назад +90

    Love the pride earrings

  • @artisticbacon1852
    @artisticbacon1852 5 лет назад +12

    My anxiety is choking me when i want to

  • @cathasaigholance5216
    @cathasaigholance5216 5 лет назад +14

    I was forced out but I hope other people like me do it in their own time.

  • @faristasairuv5143
    @faristasairuv5143 6 лет назад +52

    I'm freaking crying this is the most beautiful thing.

  • @phunky_phoenix
    @phunky_phoenix 6 лет назад +113

    I'm bi and I'm so scared to tell my parents even though me and my friends are bi and they told their family already. And i have 4 gay uncles 2 married in all on my mom's side and their very bonded. But my sister has freinds in high school that are lesbian. And i cant even think about it with out crying.😢😢😓😓😢😢😢😢 I'm crying so hard right now.

    • @rosemary.-6576
      @rosemary.-6576 5 лет назад +1

      I'm bi 2, it sounds like you haven't accepted yourself properly.

    • @tannerwiles4370
      @tannerwiles4370 4 года назад +1

      That just means you need to take more time. Its whenever your ready! It will get better.

  • @jorionjorequim201
    @jorionjorequim201 4 года назад +18

    I plan on coming out to my parents in 2-3 years later in the future. Thanks for you're advice. I don't know how my parents would react but I'll try my best.
    Edit: I talked about LGBTQ+ with my parents. My friend is Bisexual, I asked if it was okay being Bisexual. My parents said being any other sexuality besides straight is not okay.
    So I'm sad, I don't think my parents will except me, so I'll never tell them.

  • @ducky5415
    @ducky5415 3 года назад +5

    even coming from a welcoming environment, the end made me burst into tears

  • @willow6065
    @willow6065 5 лет назад +11

    When she said what she did on the end I started crying..

  • @poptard5068
    @poptard5068 6 лет назад +41

    I think I'm coming out this weekend pray for me that everything goes right

    • @caledonut8899
      @caledonut8899 5 лет назад +9

      @Jane Dough And I pray that someone helps you realise how stupid and disgusting you are

    • @caledonut8899
      @caledonut8899 5 лет назад +7

      Yeah pray for us, we have to deal with idiots like you pushing religion on us.

    • @caledonut8899
      @caledonut8899 5 лет назад +5

      @Jane Dough I am not at all mocking him, I can't decide who to love it's just who I am.

    • @MudkipGirl111
      @MudkipGirl111 5 лет назад +11

      Jane Dough oh for fucks sake man why are you on a video that’s about people coming out? all the comments on here are from people who identify as lgbt. i don’t think you’re going to be changing anyone’s sexual orientation by preaching, you’re just causing drama.

    • @caledonut8899
      @caledonut8899 5 лет назад +3

      @@MudkipGirl111 A M E N🙏

  • @alexmattsson2090
    @alexmattsson2090 3 года назад +7

    Kudos to the grandmother that took in her grandson. She was ready honey

  • @shpenatka
    @shpenatka 5 лет назад +11

    It breaks my heart to see that these videos have to exist. I live in a supportive family and I'm sure that when the time comes and I'll come out the closet, they will still love me for who I am. Seeing that not everyone has someone like my parents makes me really sad and scared. You all deserve the love you need. Your parents love you, they are just confused and scared of this (for them) new thing that you told them. It's okay. No matter what, you do matter. Don't let their sudden behaviour break or stop you. We love you.

  • @jacobmullens374
    @jacobmullens374 6 лет назад +53

    I really need advice. My dad is a pastor.

    • @lewisbishop2998
      @lewisbishop2998 4 года назад +4

      Jacob Mullens sAcRiFiCe HiM tO tHe DeViL

    • @howaboutno8769
      @howaboutno8769 4 года назад +8

      I did hear this...
      The pope says that when it comes to being gay, “Who am I to judge?”
      And the pope represents God!
      So, I think he’ll accept you since he wouldn’t go against God since it’s apart of your religion 😉

    • @Orchidlettux
      @Orchidlettux 4 года назад +2

      Jacob Mullens
      My grandpa is a pastor haha..

  • @ren_4456
    @ren_4456 6 лет назад +48

    I havent come out to my parents yet but i plan on coming out when we go to Hershey Park. My plan is to yell it when me and my faimly are on a rollercoaster. I know it sounds crazy but i jave things planned out (i think) And that trips in 2 weeks so i have to prepare for the best and the worst

    • @charlotte3199
      @charlotte3199 6 лет назад +1

      Miss. Creepypasta how’d it go? Did u do it?!

    • @ren_4456
      @ren_4456 6 лет назад +4

      Charlotte Cole: Welp that was the plan. Untill i found out that my dad was making me ride the GreatBear. I ended up screaming the whole time so it dident work. Ill tell him another time though

    • @jazzediceberg1175
      @jazzediceberg1175 6 лет назад +2

      I hope it goes well for you!

    • @aster7167
      @aster7167 5 лет назад

      Ren_ Zero Did you get a new plan? If so how’d it go, I’m scared to come out to my parents

  • @randomuser8728
    @randomuser8728 3 года назад +4

    I came out to my mom a week ago. She was super supportive and we made a plan that if my dad freaks out that she will protect me ♡♡♡

  • @kaliyahlopez9951
    @kaliyahlopez9951 5 лет назад +99

    Thank you so much. I’m planning coming out today. 😊 I’m pansexual and I’m ready
    💗💛💙 I’m 11 and I’m so glad

    • @elinkarrman3261
      @elinkarrman3261 5 лет назад +7

      How did it go? I'm pansexual as well and planning on telling my parents

    • @Munchdecruton
      @Munchdecruton 4 года назад +7

      Wow I'm bi and planing to come out

    • @tavibwell3366
      @tavibwell3366 4 года назад +4

      Im lesbian but I'm really scared to come out.

    • @lemongirl3846
      @lemongirl3846 4 года назад +5

      I’m also 11 and bi! Hope it went well for you!! I haven’t come out yet so.

    • @jt_the_baybee
      @jt_the_baybee 4 года назад +8

      Im 12 and bi and im coming out when i move out

  • @dittemanstrupkruse6934
    @dittemanstrupkruse6934 6 лет назад +25

    I live in Denmark were the lgbtq community is accepted and my parents have a friend whose trans and a friend whose gay. It can still be scary to think about coming out to them even tho I already have come out to my class. Guess it's just a natural reaction. 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @sxflyer5410
      @sxflyer5410 5 лет назад

      ditte manstrup kruse coming out to parents is always tough!

    • @BigJunnySoprano69
      @BigJunnySoprano69 3 года назад

      Denmark is cool it’s where they make the Hitman games which are very good games

  • @P1xzles_OnYoutube69420
    @P1xzles_OnYoutube69420 3 года назад +5

    I’m watching this really late at night and now this gave me the idea to come out tomorrow morning

  • @armiconsolacionagdeppa7609
    @armiconsolacionagdeppa7609 4 года назад +4

    I came out to my mother before watching this video and I just did it straight to the point and said that I am bi. I was hiding it for quite a long time and she literally said "it's okay, it's not your fault if you feel that way." I literally cried because she said she already knew it before but she just feels offended to ask if I liked girls 😂
    To all of those who are yet to come out, I just wanna say that ya'll go for it because they deserve the truth and they deserve to love you for who you truly are 💜😌 and whatever may happen, I am proud of you all for taking the risk and being so brave.
    Have a nice day my rainbows! 💜

  • @moonfluff459
    @moonfluff459 4 года назад +11

    I came out to my parents and now they’ve literally forgotten

    • @kianaafsharr
      @kianaafsharr 4 года назад +1

      How is that even possible??

    • @moonfluff459
      @moonfluff459 4 года назад +1

      @School bathroom demon Good question.

    • @porcelainghost929
      @porcelainghost929 2 года назад

      Me too. But when I came out, it was horrible and I thought I was going to get kicked out. I’m almost 18 now and I don’t know whether to remind them and come out again or wait but I don’t know much longer I can wait…

  • @ameliarundel
    @ameliarundel 2 года назад +8

    My mom is supportive, but she isn't fully. I am 13, and know for a fact that I am queer, and I am terrified that she will think of me differently. My dad on the other hand is completely homophobic. Kinda funny cause my dad’s liberal and my mom's conservative...

  • @llukewastakenbyaliens4202
    @llukewastakenbyaliens4202 2 года назад +4

    My coming out story: this was a few months ago. I had realised I was bi and started to really accept it. The. The next step was coming out. I came out to my friend and I got more nervous about coming out to my parents. I was planning on staying closeted until 14 (I’m 11). But I was doing pride art while my parents weren’t home. I was wearing a headset so I didn’t hear them come in to my office. I thought they saw my art so I ran upstairs crying. When I came down. I told my mum and she went on abt how it was the devil playing with my mind and how it was a phase and all that. Then I talked to my father. He has a brother who is gay so he was more understanding. :)

  • @eucalptusbaker8292
    @eucalptusbaker8292 3 года назад +2

    When she started saying that I was worthy and deserve to be loved I treated up.

  • @jessedeitrick6364
    @jessedeitrick6364 Год назад +2

    Thank you, Susan. This video has helped me see that despite who I tell, that I don't need to feel as if I am a burden. No one has ever explained that coming out to someone reveals who they (the person they come out to) really is, and the story of the girl in college who went to her chaplain with her struggles was very helpful. Thank you for being an ally to those who are ready to be their true self.

  • @catfreak
    @catfreak 6 лет назад +33

    This is so sad. I hope here in Germany it's easier to come out.

    • @liisha5008
      @liisha5008 6 лет назад +3

      I have come out to my friends and my mom and they are okay with it like they don‘t really care. I think Germany is pretty accepting these days. Like i have never got a single bad response :)

    • @lemonadekith9739
      @lemonadekith9739 5 лет назад +2

      minseoks closet I got.. disrespected in Germany. But I'm fine with it ~

    • @sxflyer5410
      @sxflyer5410 5 лет назад

      It depends where. Bigger cities are fine, but in the countryside, especially in Bavaria, it’s quite hard.

    • @gachadepressedmoonlightfur4873
      @gachadepressedmoonlightfur4873 4 года назад +1

      Uff will mich auch als bi outen habe aber angst

  • @pretendihaveacoolname1597
    @pretendihaveacoolname1597 4 года назад +29

    I'm scared as HELL to tell my parents and even though I'm 11, I know I'm bi or pan cause me and my female friend both have feelings for each other but we are afraid of telling our parents/ guardian
    I'm praying when I'm about 16, I'll tell them
    Thank you
    Honestly, I don't know if they are against it or not though
    It's just that they are very religious (a Muslim and a Christain) but they have like 1 gay friend and I'm not sure
    Please, pray!
    (If your atheist, that's okay but please wish me good luck)

    • @itzgaby8252
      @itzgaby8252 3 года назад +3

      I'm sorry for being 9 months late, and good luck even if you already confessed

  • @mattwick9975
    @mattwick9975 4 года назад +1

    This lady’s ted talk is INCREDIBLE

  • @defvansh
    @defvansh 3 года назад +12

    I came out to parents yesterday and they were accepting! One of the best days of my life.

  • @lilykeene2351
    @lilykeene2351 6 лет назад +41

    I have always been straight but then idk like 5 months ago a girl asked me out and I was kinda confused but I said why not. We’re broken up now but... I think I actually really like her still and it’s scary coz I always dated boys before and I’m not sure if I’m experimenting or I’m actually bi.

    • @miawilliams3867
      @miawilliams3867 6 лет назад +11

      Lily Keene
      If you are attracted to her, you might be bi. You need to try getting intimate with females... It may help. Your sexual orientation is what you want it to be. If you feel bi, you can be bi. If you feels straight, you might be straight. In time you will come to realize your true identity :)
      *_hope that helps_*

    • @CandySpirit
      @CandySpirit 6 лет назад +6

      You can be bi pan or omni. And don't worry if you don't like intimacy with the same sex or other sexes (ex:agender,bigender) you can just be biromantic heterosexual!
      I myself am panromantic 😄
      I know this is late and stuff but I don't know if you have figured yourself out, so i wanted to help

    • @flutterlynx
      @flutterlynx 6 лет назад +4

      If you’re bi or pan, you’ve never been straight, you might’ve just figured it out ^^ (I’m saying this because sexuality isn’t a choice, it just takes a while to find out)
      Anyways- Questioning sexuality/gender can be scary in a way but if you want to accept it then you’ll have to accept yourself ^^
      (This is probably bad advice dnvjhvrcb)

    • @charlotte3199
      @charlotte3199 6 лет назад +1

      You will find out with time! It took me two years to realise I was biromantic homosexual... but hey, I got there! I think what matters most is the question; “who do you want to be with when you are older?” Think about that question thoroughly, and the answer will come, I promise.
      Also this sounds kindddd of gross... but... I guess you could have a few sexual fantasies with girls and guys (etc) and see what you enjoy imagining. Ok I’m sorry that was very gross and very hard for me to type about lol. 😅😅😅😅😅

    • @noonie2525
      @noonie2525 5 лет назад +1

      I personally,I’m my own opinion, think you are just experimenting.

  • @Jaykoito
    @Jaykoito 4 года назад +3

    I’m so glad to be hearing this from a Christian mother.. I have been struggling so much ever since I realized my sexuality last year.. I want to come out already, but I know I’m not ready.. I’m trying so hard to wait.

  • @lolz5133
    @lolz5133 3 года назад +5

    I only came out to 2 people and they said that would never change the way they see me and that made me cry happy tears 🥺❤️ So im gonna wait 2 years to come out to my parents bc I'm only 13 years old and I'm afraid that they will say that i dont know what or who I love bc I'm too young. But everything will work out and I know, even if it will take a while, that they will always love me🏳️‍🌈❤️

  • @meatballsub2735
    @meatballsub2735 4 года назад +2

    This is making me tear up.. I'm looking up tips to help me come out as transgender (ftm) to my parents and this helped a lot. Even though this was 2017, thank you so much for your help, and thamk you for the very kind words. Those words made me tear up.

  • @ellie-anne173
    @ellie-anne173 5 лет назад +5

    "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst" is good and important advice, but God is it scary to thing about

  • @ha-fj8yh
    @ha-fj8yh 4 года назад +4

    Thank you so much this helped me. I’m about to come out to my homophobic parents. I have really bad depression and anxiety. I once yelled I’m bisexual and I’m proud! At school. Everyone was whispering rude things about me..

  • @narcisis4147
    @narcisis4147 4 года назад +2

    The ending actually made me cry I am so thankful for this thank you

  • @davidlove1028
    @davidlove1028 5 лет назад +3

    I love that there is a mother out there who made a video just to help those that are confused and scared. There need to be more people in the world who accept their children and help children prepare for when they’re ready. You know this is probably the truth, because she’s gone through it twice.
    Edit: Sorry I don’t make short comments :P

  • @nejdlmenend3137
    @nejdlmenend3137 5 лет назад +9

    Every time my family brings up something about lgbt I try to bring up the I like girls but i just can’t get it out🤦🏽‍♀️😪

    • @allimazing6353
      @allimazing6353 2 года назад +1

      I somehow managed to tell my grandma on my moms side and my mom. Not quite sure how I did it but then…they were really supportive except for repeated are you sure and your too young. I’m eleven

  • @kaio6319
    @kaio6319 6 лет назад +29

    Well when i was about 11-ish i find myself attracted to both girls and boys. But because i lived in the Philippines, i tried to shrugg it off. I witnessed how most of the people here treat lgbt's and it's horrible, so i got scared, and thought that maybe i was just young and that i was just going through some shits. But years had passed and now im 15, im still not sure about my sexuality. I tried to ignore this side of me but i can't help but to be attracted to both genders, i'm even attracted to trans and gays, but im trying to fight it. I'm more into opposite sex, so maybe i can change the way i see things, maybe i can be straight but i dont really know what to do, Im trying to convince myself that im heterosexual but i dont really know what am i or who am i. Can you give me some advice? 😔

    • @amiyahj9181
      @amiyahj9181 5 лет назад +1

      can we be friends

    • @audreydoyle5268
      @audreydoyle5268 5 лет назад +8

      It sounds to me like you’re pansexual, which means you are sexually attracted to anyone you find attractive regardless of their gender or sex. You fall for the person’s personality, not just their body. The worst thing you can do when you’re non-heterosexuals to deny your sexuality. Take it from someone who denied being bisexual and trans for years. I was severely depressed. From what you said about living in a homophobic country, my suggestion is, if you can’t find somewhere to live in your country that’s safe, I’d suggest going to live in another, like Australia, the UK or most of Europe (America isn’t really that safe). I hope you’re ok, please stay safe and believe in yourself. The world needs more colourful people like us 🏳️‍🌈

    • @marc6995
      @marc6995 3 года назад

      Hi, I know this is 2 years old but I just hope you're ok !

    • @kittycake1294
      @kittycake1294 3 года назад

      Isn’t the Philippines LGBT friendly,

  • @candiidoggii1360
    @candiidoggii1360 4 года назад

    the ending made me cry,, thanks for this video

  • @pearsecullen8898
    @pearsecullen8898 3 года назад +1

    Susan, you know what you're talking about. Thanks for keeping it real and being here to give advice. Some of us have no one we're prepared to talk to about this.

  • @randomdepression1499
    @randomdepression1499 5 лет назад +5

    I came out at 11, as pan and still closeted as nonbinary

  • @justawheeliebin3512
    @justawheeliebin3512 3 года назад +4

    I have two moms and I don’t no why it’s so hard but I absolute just *shit my pants* whenever the topic of a girlfriend is brought up. I’m gay btw.

  • @jess9169
    @jess9169 Год назад +1

    I was literally shaking when I told my parents I was bi but they were so supportive of me

  • @bird347
    @bird347 3 года назад +2

    The ending made me sob. My parents don't know much about the LGBTQ community, and when I asked them if they supported it they said they didn't care because it "wasn't like it concerned them". They aren't religious so I don't think they'd care. I know they'd support me if I came out as a lesbian, but I don't think they believe in bisexuality. Idk what to do. They'll probably say that I'm "too young to understand and that "I'm just confused or that I "think I'm being cute and I'm just doing it for attention" like they always do with everything. Every time I think about it I can imagine what I know their reaction will be like: they'll glance at each other with their "lets humor her for now" looks, and pretend to go with it until they think I've "outgrown my bisexual phase". And that's the best outcome I can think of. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I was kicked out of the house. The only person who knows about this is my sister, and I know she thinks I'm lying. She straight up told me that I'm "overthinking" it even though there's nothing to think about, I KNOW that I'm bisexual. Sorry for the rant, I'll just stop here. I'm lost and I don't have anyone to talk to about all of this.

  • @aaava2007
    @aaava2007 5 лет назад +20

    I’m 10 and ik I’m bi. No doubt in my mind at all. Both my parents are strict Catholics. I have a 7 y.o. brother. I’ve asked him if he thins that liking both genders is wrong and he said, “ umm yah” well, he’s seven so cut him some slack. I’m really nervous about coming out. Any advise?
    im 13 now and im out as bi and enby 💜💜

    • @mr.gasoline988
      @mr.gasoline988 5 лет назад +2

      I’m 11 I’m straight I don’t know what your going through just take sometime and when your ready for it come out if they don’t respect and except you they still love you just give them some time and if they still don’t except you ask them if they ever loved someone and ask them how hard it will be to be told that it’s not right to love a certain person and or gender is heartbreaking and not right.

    • @Astra.6889
      @Astra.6889 4 года назад

      I'm 11 and bi so I kinda know what you're going through. I think it's best to wait until you would have the option to move out just in case things go south. Or find a member of your family that accepts you or is lgbtq+ themselves so if something goes wrong with your parents you can move in with that relative. Hopefully, this helped!

    • @redrwby8135
      @redrwby8135 3 года назад

      10 and 11 is too young to come out. Please wait until you are 16

    • @wildele9699
      @wildele9699 3 года назад

      @@redrwby8135 I’m 13 too

    • @allimazing6353
      @allimazing6353 2 года назад

      @Red Rwby Why? I’m eleven and I’m out. Do you have a problem with that?

  • @rayneisdead
    @rayneisdead 3 года назад +5

    The thing is that my parents are super supportive of the lgbtq community but somehow I am still terrified to come out. I feel super selfish to think that because I know that some people have to come out to parents who are not supportive at all. Also my moms mom is pansexual, so I am certain that my parents will be supportive. 😖 UGH ITS SO FRUSTRATING

  • @irengevorgyan3394
    @irengevorgyan3394 4 года назад +1

    the words in the end made me cry .

  • @retrofruitcake6030
    @retrofruitcake6030 4 года назад

    As soon as “your worthy” came out of her mouth I broke down in tears remembering all the times I’ve tried to come out but couldn’t

  • @SomethingSky72
    @SomethingSky72 4 года назад +4

    What if they think I’m too young to know. I really want them to know but, they’re gonna just say I’m to young to know

  • @chaoticraspberry7587
    @chaoticraspberry7587 4 года назад +3

    Me: *hears that alot of the time parents stop carring for their children after coming out* . . . . . *cries*

  • @Eckoxo
    @Eckoxo 2 года назад

    I’ve been struggling for sooooo long thank you

  • @bella-sv6jm
    @bella-sv6jm 2 года назад +2

    i'm bi, my first period teacher is the only person who i trusted to come out to, i knew she wouldn't tell anyone until i was ready. my dads girlfriend is also bi and my dad supports the LGBTQIA+ community but my mom and moms side doesn't. i don't even know how to come out to my dad and he fully supports. i don't know how to come out and i'll probably wait till i'm 18 and in college WITH a steady job just in case something goes wrong. love is love. none of us should be afraid to come out no matter what your sexuality is. happy pride month!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

  • @yrrag
    @yrrag 6 лет назад +5

    Thank you.

  • @nemomatar6675
    @nemomatar6675 2 года назад +3

    Tysm

  • @tnelson5135
    @tnelson5135 5 лет назад +1

    Awesome perspective and glad you shared it with us!

  • @karissameyers8810
    @karissameyers8810 2 года назад +1

    Ok I absolutely welled up with your closing. I am a 37 year old woman with a mother I love dearly, but if I was every looking for a backup would you be it (even though you are far too young :-) ) Your ability to help be a translator between Christian teachings and culture and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community just makes my heart happy.

  • @sirhissboi6100
    @sirhissboi6100 5 лет назад +5

    My parents are pro lgbt but I'm still nervous to tell them that I'm pan

  • @cloudhhhh
    @cloudhhhh 5 лет назад +3

    Here are my tips:
    Find out if your parents are homophobic
    If they are, make sure that you have a balanced job and income. Prepare youself for chances of getting kicked out.
    Make sure you're legally old enough to move out.
    If they are not homophobic, just tell them.

  • @dalilahgarcia9325
    @dalilahgarcia9325 5 лет назад

    the ending made me cry bc ive never heard that before and it just felt kind of good to hear it

  • @trixj.r.a1712
    @trixj.r.a1712 3 года назад +1

    This scares the hell out of me!😵
    I thought of coming out to my parents when I'm 18 but this scares me so damn much... I think I need time to prepare for the worst... I hope they will accept me for who I am

  • @NevadaAirGuns
    @NevadaAirGuns 6 лет назад +3

    I’m over here with all my stuff packed before I tell my dad.

  • @Jessie_Helms
    @Jessie_Helms 5 лет назад +12

    One of the few videos that doesn’t demonize Christianity and parents.
    Well done 👍

  • @katsukibakugou2941
    @katsukibakugou2941 4 года назад +1

    I am going to come out on my 13th birthday. (May 18th) I’m so scared but I’m going to do it. If anyone else is struggling I’m here for you guys. Good luck!

  • @TonyFoxTarot
    @TonyFoxTarot 4 года назад

    Great advice....so good to have access to this info as a resource.

  • @markodejanovic1635
    @markodejanovic1635 4 года назад +5

    She is charming, I wish my mom is like her

  • @senecarus_whitur
    @senecarus_whitur 5 лет назад +7

    Hey Susan. I am so scared... My dad and i Never were that close and now we are slowly getting back together. I really want to tell him because he’s the more open minded parent. My mom knows that I am transgender but refuses to call me by my name, it’s been over a year and whenever I correct her she gets really uncomfortable. I am worried that the relationship to my father will break off again after that.
    I am an adult, but I am still living with my mother since I can’t find an apartment, since I am in Uni and my finances are tight.
    I am meeting with my father this weekend and I wanted to tell him for so long but my mothers uncertainty makes me uncertain too. What should I do?

  • @crazycookie294
    @crazycookie294 4 года назад

    This lady has a Ted talk about her choosing her daughter over the church they went to at the time I watched it and ITS AMAZING it gave me chills and I was so happy to see a Christoan mom react this way. I know many do but she seems very supportive. Thank you!!

  • @davidhunter2824
    @davidhunter2824 5 лет назад +1

    Coming out to your parents that you're LGBTQ is definitely a challenge, yet can be a very important step in your personal development. I wish everyone who comes out the best. As the final message, "you are worthy"

  • @nickr6184
    @nickr6184 6 лет назад +23

    I need help coming out

  • @elliotkragjuuldybdal5548
    @elliotkragjuuldybdal5548 4 года назад +3

    Guys I’m coming out this week, please wish me luck

  • @sds6303
    @sds6303 9 месяцев назад

    Loved your Tedx talk from a few years back!

  • @cocowoodpaw8168
    @cocowoodpaw8168 2 года назад +2

    I'm 16 and bisexual and I'm going to tell my mom when I'm 18 Thank you for your advise💟

  • @marissarocha659
    @marissarocha659 5 лет назад +4

    This truly helped me, I'm in the closet as Pansexual and I'm really scared of what my parents will say because I've come to learn how homophobic they can be at times..

    • @ellielol7329
      @ellielol7329 2 года назад

      i’m in the same position lol

  • @filledwithmaggots
    @filledwithmaggots 5 лет назад +3

    After watching this I think I'm finally gonna come out to my mom though im going to wait to come out to my dad since I want to make preperations in case it goes badly

  • @lisanne3018
    @lisanne3018 4 года назад

    Love the earring detail. Thank you for your kind and supportive words.

  • @ximenamatos8484
    @ximenamatos8484 3 года назад

    As soon as you said I am a Christian mother I felt such a relief, I am 21 and I am a blind trans male same as bisexual. I have always felt like a boy since a young age but I didn’t know how to express it, at the age of 15 I found out about the trans community and I was like, nah I just have to act mor feminine and this feeling will just go away, I was trying so hard to convince myself that I was a girl but I always felt different. Now I just came out to my mom a couple of days ago and she said we’re gonna talk about this when things get better but I will respect and love you just the way you feel and are, I am afraid of coming out to my dad even though he says that he is open minded, but is quite a conservative Christian. I am also planning on a backing plan since my parents pay college and I’m trying to get a scholarship so they won’t have to pay college anymore, plus I’m trying to find a way to earn money, I am a musician but I want to get a job as well. But I find it quite hard since I live in a country where LGBTQ people aren’t very excepted and besides, it’s harder for me to find a job especially with a disability. I’m not saying that it’s impossible but it’s kind of hard. But I’ll do anything that’s in my power to do this. Thank you so much for this video.