5 Ways To Be A Good Friend
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2021
- We were all made for connection, but sometimes that can be hard when life gets in the way. That’s why it’s important that we are intentional about our friendships. So, in this episode, I’m sharing straightforward ways to show up and be a good friend. #CoffeewithChrystal
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I long for genuine friendship. I have many associates but not one close friend other than my husband. I just realized this year that it has been over 10 years since I've had a girlfriend. I cried on my 40th birthday ...hubby had to work and not 1 person I could go to lunch with, no text, nothing. If I'm totally honest, I'm very lonely in that respect. I've been praying for an ordained, deep friendship.
I feel you on that!! It’s so hard for me to be super close to someone! 😔
@@keinawarren328 I keep saying to myself, "one day soon, God has a friend for me". It's really hard when you're selective and only allow certain people in your space. I'm sure we could both have plenty of surface relationships with no problem. I'm just at an age now that I require more.
I'm sorry that you cried on your birthday. Praying that God gives you a good friend or two soon. You don't need many.
@@ChrystalHurst exactly! Quality over quantity! Thank you for your encouragement ❤
5/16/22: I pray God has provided you with Godly women/friends. Stay encourage and.
I've never been the need a friend type. I'm always fascinated by those group of women that's been friends for a lifetime. I use to pray for a lifelong friend like Beyoncé and Kelly or Oprah and Gail. But I'm really such a loner maybe this video will give me some insight. Listening now.
Glad you are here. Praying you find solid friends and connections that last.
Me too. You said it perfectly for me. 🙂👍❤
Me too pebbles
I too am a loner... A true INTROVERT. I have 2 friends. So I get it. But I have learned and continue to learn that it's not always about me... I fill a need in their lives as well.. This is good... I'm also learning.. Though I've been hurt.. It's okay to be a friend and have a friend.. be the kind of friend I would want to have. Glad your open... Blessings❤️
Thank you for this important and timely video. Well done and good tips to apply. Although I'm a loner I'm humbly seeking to be an authentic friend...but it takes two right?🙏
I live in a new place & its been a challenge to make friends... but I've found a church home & have a workout group so I will with renewed effort practice being a good friend with expectation that fruit will grow.
Thankyou for your five points in being a good friend:
1.Dont just intend act
2.Be Encouraging
3.Be Authentic
4.Be fully present
5.Celebrate your friends
If you want a friend be a friend! Also btw I can def relate to Shy Chrystal vs Confident Chrystal... I hope to snap out that as the Holy Spirit prompts so I can be and/or recieve a blessing(s)!
Your AMAZING CHRYSTAL DONT YOU EVER FORGET IT!!! YOU ARE DEF A FRIEND IN MY HEAD!🤗💜🤗💜🤗💜
I feel God has been leading me to be more loving to my neighbor. For so long I lived selfishly and now I have to change so God can move me into my purpose.
I’m a year late but right on time! Thank you, Crystal for sharing this. You’ve shared a lot of really good gems. 😊
First let me apologize for this long response and second allow me to thank you for sharing this.
Funny how God orchestrates things for us when we need them. His Sovereign provision never ceases to amaze me.
Throughout my childhood and early teenage years, I struggled with friendship. I was always the girl who desired to be a friend and have friends in return. I would pour myself into people, always to be mistreated or disregarded. This caused my to become closed off and made it hard for me to be open. My grandmother and mother had always taught me to be good to people, and to always give people the benefit of the doubt, but my experiences throughout life taught me something different.
In my early twenties, I met someone and developed one the the best friendship I've ever had. Well, it's actually the only time that what I was giving, had ever been reciprocated. Recently we had to end that friendship after 16 years. This devastated me!
Everything you have stated in the video is what I thought we were to one another, and if being honest, we were to certain extents (there was failure on both ends). But in the end I realized that no matter how much I showed them I was truly for them, they were always mainly for themself. We are selfish by nature, so I never held it against them, we all tend to be selfish in different areas of our lives. I know they cared for and loved me, but not everyone understands or knows how to display or practically live that out. I also don't fault them for that, because I understand we aren't all in the same place at the same time (emotionally or spiritually), even if we are in the same place physically.
One of the things that made me realize this friendship had to come to an end was when trying to have the hard conversations that's required for growth, they would always feel as if I were attacking them, or would say "we can talk about it later," and of course we would never end up having that conversation. Another thing was, closer to the end of our friendship, I was literally always put on the back burner. They only wanted my friendship when any of there other friends weren't available.
BUT GOD!
I've recently come into knowing and am learning what friendship really is! And although that friendship had to end, God has placed a couple of people in my life (one person who lived across the street from me when I was 5 years old, the other person dated my cousin about 7 years ago) who have shown me what God can do even in the midst of devastation. They both have shown up and been here FOR me and I try to do and be the same FOR them! For is such an important word.
It reminds me of how John 3:16 starts "FOR" God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son!
A true friendship is being for one another. This is what God has me learning and also allowing me to finally experience, although it has taken 40 years!
Grace, peace, and Christ's blessings to you 💜
Glad I am not the only without close friends to hang out with or pray with. Sometimes, it’s so lonely and I feel something is wrong with me but it makes me to God a lot about everything.
I like the point of being authentic to a friend. I have felt a friend not being authentic, but I have not been authentic enough to tell them
I sooo needed this. I'm a good friend but I don't know what to expect from friendships. I had questions like, "Am I being too nice?" Or even, "Is this person being a good friend to me?" Thanks for this insight Crystal because I had questions that you answered without even knowing I had these questions in my mind. 🙏💜💜💜🎯💯🥰💫
Happy to hear this was helpful :)
Thank you Chrystal
this is so good! I know I have typed that statement a million times on your videos, but this is truly needed. I am in a season of changing relationships, reconnecting/strengthening long-term friends and making new friends. It is critical to be able to clear up misunderstandings.
Dear Sister Crystal! Thank you! Much needed to be reminded! God Bless
Love this! Friendship matters!!
Always had amazing friends, but in recent years, moved around with family, and crisis showed me, that while it was great to have awesome close friends in diff states and countries, I needed to develop some locally
So I prayed, and in the most amazing way, in the midst of the pandemic last year, God used another older friend, to connect me with one I call my twin. Not only were we alike, in age, where we grew up, music taste and all, we were both in a stage where we were willing to meet, and needed new friendships. So we both were intentional about developing it.
Now if we both hadn’t put in that time and effort, we definitely won’t be where we are, a year later. This is despite all the similarities that initially connected us.
Was it worth it? Every bit so.
Truly to get a friend, one has to be a friend. Pray pray pray! I knew she was an answer to prayer when we connected, so didn’t take it for granted.
Time helps, but because of intentionality, I have been able to develop a friendship in a year, that in many ways has more meaning in my life, that some that I have known for 10, 20+ years!
Gosh I’m so bad at this! I’m so private and don’t know how to open up. Then feel goofy when I do! Thank you Crystal for all this great advice!
It's all right. Practice makes perfect!
Thank you for this encouragement 💗 It is needed.
Hi Chrystal I am a new subscriber and I enjoy the authentic you just as you are that is what has drawn me to your channel. I am new to social media as a travel agent. This message resignated with me, I had a friend who needed a dryer and she'd ask me if I knew someone to deliver,she is a single mom and has worked 2 jobs always but she never missed a opportunity to give to my family as well as to others. She was their when I lost my mother. I couldn't not let an opportunity like this to pass by. I told her I wanted her to have it for her birthday. No more drying her clothes on chairs or wherever she could find. She was resistant at first, it was explained that no one will know. Reluctant at first then said okay. I ask God to make a away for me to bless her and he did. She received her dryer and God provided the payment in full before the the first payment. This is the first time I ever mentioned it.
She has always been a friend too.
Dear Chrystal this was such an encouragement to work at being a good friend. Thank you!❤
Ms Chrystal this is a great topic / discussion. Friendship is truly one of our most precious jewels in this life. People like you, Priscilla, and Tabitha are like magnets to people who like genuine natural people to call friends. So funny that we obviously like similar characters in friends. Keep up the good work allowing God to use you to inspire others to be their true selves which leads to the healing that many of us need in this moment.
Thanks for the encouragement!
I love that convo you had with Priscilla. LOVE.
Be the friend you want to have. This was so good. I have a trio that I hang out with. One is very assertive, the other is very reserved/shy, and then I am sort of in the middle. It's a sweet trio and I learn something from both of them when we are on our outings. I just don't think we are truly authentic with each other. Not real sure what I need to say or do but definitely in prayer about it. Thank you so much.
'We are going to do what it takes 💯
Thanks for this podcast! Do you know of a positive men circle?
1. Spring into action...( but you must know your friend.)
2. Be an encourager... inciter , empathetic ear, a Genuine heart for people, etc.
3. Be honest and authentic.. able to process and being trustworthy and honest with self and friend.
4. Be present in the moment.. focus on the now, paying attention to small things, give thanks. People want to be understood, phycially, emotionally, and spiritually.
5.Celebration praise and appreciation which is given .
I don't know of a circle for men but I'll keep my eyes out.
@@ChrystalHurst thanks Chrystal
This is sooo good. Thank you for sharing this. I struggle with women friends ships because I don’t always get the respect I give. But you remind me to keep my focus on the Holy Spirit and He will direct my paths and the friends along the way.
Thank you for this message! God bless 🙏🏼
Thank you for your transparency and for this message.
This was awesome! I struggle in the area of friendship. I'm not sure what if anything I'm doing wrong but I am a friend to people I now realize are not really my friend. I have began to fall back from the pretend relationships and show up for associates and even strangers more since my desire to give of myself is always there. I feel lonely when I think of no one being there for me but Christ. However, I don't feel as alone.
That made me cry....Thank you for giving your ticket to Crystal... Sister's In Christ Power:-) So powerful:-)
Thank you for this. I have been such a loaner my entire life. I've had acquaintances, but nothing in depth because I have always experienced some type of betrayal. It caused me to stay to myself, which was my safe haven. But I know that God's best for His children to be Kingdom minded, so I pray for godly connections and friendships, and I pray that God will give me what I need to be vulnerable and be the friend that I desire. 🙏🏾 ❤️
This blessed me so, so much. Thank you, Chrystal 🧡
Thank you for this! I was just praying about my friendships and God sent this video. I pray that God will continue to help me be a friend, get better at being a friend and bring true friends into my life. Thank you for your ministry Chrystal! 😁
Authentically honest… I love that and I am taking mental notes.
Hi Nyre! If you take REAL notes, I am interested in reading them!!!
:D
Thank you Mrs. Crystal. This is such a blessing!
You have been such an encouragement to me Chrystal,from last year 2020 ,I am always excited about Mondays
Oh, my goodness! Thank you for this reminder, lesson, encouragement.
This is a beautiful message.
This so wonderful. Thank you I believe that my gift is to encourage ! We need this so much right now in a time like this. Where there is so much competition instead of commodore. Thanks again
Great words of advice! Thank you.
Amen my sister it has been a blessing to me
Thank you for being you!
Love this Chrystal! Thank you for sharing your heart. You sound so much like your mother. 🥰
Thank you Chrystal for this video. It ministers to me greatly on how to be a friend. Especially since I've been struggling in this area since moving back home to Louisiana where it seems so difficult to make solid friendships. I have friends back in the Dallas area where we moved from but, it's different when we aren't together physically.
I needed this! Thankyou so much!
Chrystal you are God sent. This was very timely and very resourceful. Thank you so much for this podcast.
Thank you so much. Love this may I be a good and more intentional friend to those who need it the most
this was sooo good. thank you❤
Love it!!!
This is so good! I'm having conversations now with teens who DON'T know how to be a friend or what friendship looks like. Thanks for these great nuggets.
Absolutely love you!
Thank you so much for sharing this message. Learning how to speak our authentic truth is hard but it is much needed in all our relationships. I am learning how to be fully present and how to be intentional about being there for the relationships I have with others.
This is such a Blessing 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
Thank you Chrystal for sharing this. I am quickly falling in love with you videos. Just love the way you share practical things that we can easily assume but are really important. You are making a great contribution to my life in ways that you will never really know.. God bless and keep doing what you do for His glory and for our good ❤️❤️
Going back to watch this and it makes me so happy that you got Auntie Tab on your podcast! Still such a timely message months later. I wish this was taught in schools 💯
Great topic…thank you for sharing 💕💕💕💕
This is my second time and probably not the last time I am gonna watch this. I am going to watch it till I know all the point by heart. Chrystal you really inspire me. I am learning from you.
I needed to hear this about being a good friend. I want to show up and be this type of friend the 5 ways you have discussed. Thank you so much for taking your time to share. I appreciate you and your God’s talents HE has given you.🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾
Thanks for this, Chrystal, I consider it my birthday special.
This is truly awesome!
This was a on time word for me as I have put this topic before the Lord and then I see this video! Thank you for your encouragement and allowing God to use you🙏🏾
This had me seriously introspecting and reflecting. Thank you!
You're welcome!
Always amazing Crystal!!! 💜✝️💜
A true sister is always willing to speak truth into your life, and on the flip side at times receive corrections as well. Help each other grow in truth and love.
I love you Chrystal!. I have been listening and applying your wisdom for so many years, You are a big sister to me 😇 and I thank God for your presence in my life 🙏🏾
Wow I love this🥺💔Thanks for sharing queen
I am very careful who I listen to but for some reason I just wanted to click on you, your voice is soothing and your content is nourishing. Suscribed and taking in all the content!
Thanks Chrystal, for this amazing encouragement.
'Be the friend you want to be. Show up with action.'
I'm one for making friends and I'm blessed with many girlfriends. And I enjoy them. When I feel the need for another friend, I ask God to give me a friend and I look out for one. God always answers and I make myself the friend I want to be.
Thank you..... I really needed this!🌹
Thankyou so much
This conversation is good. Thank you for making this video and Thank you for taking time out to snap a quick photo with me and my friends this past Sunday. We visited OCBF and was blessed to fellowship with you all. You are a blessing and I enjoy listening to you. My visit to Dallas with 9 of my sister friends was amazing.
Glad we got a pic!
Beautiful States and well spoken. 💕
Have recently found you and so thankful I have! I have always been a very quiet person and have tried hard to overcome my anxiety, and have done better over the past few years because of prayer🙏. Have thoroughly enjoyed you speaking on this which has given me new insights of my own actions rather than actions of others. Guess I have never been completely honest with myself or others…afraid I will lose what few friends I have if I am not extremely careful of making myself understood without hurting any feelings. Thank you again ❣️🙏
Hey Chrystal, This is good. Thank you for doing this video.
This was amazing. I just had a conversation yesterday with a friend we were opening up to each other talking about friendship and how we saw being a friend to someone. As well I was sharing with her how I was praying and telling God I wanted to be a better friend. Some of your points were included in our conversation. God's continued blessings to you.
confirmation!
Being Honest And Authentic!! 💜💜💜👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽😊🙏🏾
So good!!!
Hello, Chrystal -
Thanks so much for addressing this topic. You'd mentioned about someone hurting a friend, but the hurt continues because the other person doesn't say that he/she is being hurt by the words/actions. I was in a friendship since high school (almost 40 years). Then, last year (in the midst of covid, which made it hurt worse) my friend ended our friendship via a very long text. I didn't know she felt the way that she was expressing at that point. Due to a lack of communication and each of us trying to spare the other person's feelings, now a relationship that has gone on for so long is gone forever. God is healing my grief, but that loss made for an even tougher 2020 for me. I wish her all the best (always have), but the hurt is still real.
Ahh, this is so sad.
Be encouraged, dear. I remember the scripture that says, "A friend loves at all times." All times...Be encouraged. Blessings.
If it’s for you it will come back around❤️
@@hwdt5513 agreed
I'm very familiar with your feelings and will keep you in prayer. I agree with @Hw Dt. Also know that if God doesn't restore your friendship His grace is sufficient and He can bring you new friendships that are just as meaningful if not more meaningful.
Blessings to you!
I think that was a very immature way for her to let you know she’d been hurting. You didn’t know. We aren’t taught how to communicate our feelings in relationships. That’s probably why she texted instead of telling you. Did you tell her you’re sorry that you hurt her and you wish she could have told you what was on her heart??? I’d suggest you process your pain a bit before reaching out again, but don’t give up just yet if the friendship was truly fulfilling for you.
Act, encourage, be authentic, be fully present, celebrate
I don’t know you personally but I get this feeling from watching/listening to you and…. I love your love for yourself…no frills or fluff. ❤️❤️❤️
This really blessed me, Chrystal! Please write a book about this. It would be awesome if you and Priscilla hosted a Friendship Conference for women. I would love to bring my two besties that are like sisters to me. I have always loved the friendship of David and Jonathan in the Bible. The friendship between Oprah and Gayle is nice to see. I love these examples that teach me how to be a good friend as well as your tips on how friends should love each other. Thank you!
Congratulations that is a fun story of perseverance and friendship ❤
This was so great. Friendships are not one sided. 💝Irons sharpening irons💝
Great advice thank you
Thank you so much for this..I’m coming out of a very dark era of my life and into full surrender to God and into purpose, growth, figuring out who I am and all of the wonderful and uncomfortable things that come with growth…I saved your podcast on grief some months ago because it spoke to me (my only brother had transitioned at 45 years old in 2019 and my dad has gone through a battle with multiple myeloma and all that entails)…and since I follow your RUclips channel this one had shown up at a time when I needed it most..I had major walls (I am an introvert and an empath) and I am praying for wisdom to recognize the friendships that I already have and need to cultivate as well as for God to show me new sisters..I am also a fellow PK …thank you again for this tool..God bless you
I'm so sorry to hear about your recent losses. You know I get it. Glad the content here and in other places is helpful. God bless.
@@ChrystalHurst Yes I do and God Bless you as well
I was guilty of being on my phone today while w a friend🙄🙄…..Conviction is cleansing to the soul! Thanks Chrystal!
This is a Great topic! I do desire friendship.. A real Sisterhood. The Friendships I've had often turned out to be a lot of dysfunction or no loyalty. I want to be valued as I value and pour into a friendship.
Friendship is serious indeed this is a great video!
Don’t y’all mess with my Chrystal!!!😂
Point 3 hit me 👌
Thanks for sharing Chrystal 😊
Ps: All 5 points too😄
I needed to hear this. They need action and not good indentations. I’m failing and Covid is taking over. Great video, thank you.
Beautiful 💕
I have been living under the rock😂🤣😂
Ms. Chrystal ma’am, I adore you and all of your content. One day soon I’ll have to become part of your sister circle. Until such time, grateful you’re posting these wonderful videos that are free to anyone desirous of consuming them. 😂
I am very sociable and lifelong friendships is my goal
I am student anything I want to learn also I following every day so happy and I with you
I missed the live” Hello to you!
This!
Thank you for this video, I feel the same thought processes go for family as well. My relatives are very distant and I lost my sister last year. So when my relatives just send a text to say, just checking on you: I don't answer. I've always picked up the phone and its irritating to me that most of them only want to talk via social media meaning Facebook or texting. I'm told I'm so old fashioned. So I just don't bother anymore......
These devices be listening to us yall! LOL! Na but fr APTTMH because I seriously prayed and asked God to prepare me for the godly friend(s) I prayed the other day for and that I would know how to act when she came into my life (as in knowing what I have and knowing how to keep it and cherish it). I want to be a good friend to new friends and a better friend to my old ones.
I struggle with friendship...I go into action!! Am that kinda friend but it's never given back to me...please pray for me I at this point have kept to self
I would like to think I'm a good friend. I say that because I always want to feel that there is something better I can do. I start with, what kind of friend would I like? What kind of friend do I need? Right now my journey is allowing vulnerability with others so that they have the opportunity to be a good friend to me (and that's being a good friend too - the same way Chrystal shared with Priscilla what she needed). All a work in progress, and a good reminder for reflection. I prayed for good friendships, but they do take work - checking in, sharing, receiving praise as well as correction, listening (!!!!). When life hits the fan, it's the investment of those relationships that comes back to help (or haunt 🤣) you. There was a time I didn't invest, and felt really bad, so I chose to invest - some temporarily and others for a lifetime. As long as we have breath we have time to get it!!
Wow this is beautiful. Love this.
Hey Chrystal! I hope you have been well, thank you for this video such a gem! How can I join the inner circle? I would like to join this community please
chrystalevanshurst.com/innercircle. Only the entry level is open right now. We open the doors again for all levels on 1/1/22