Why can't we TAKE OUR OWN ADVICE about narcissists?
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT. 
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![TRASH or PASS! Eminem ( Houdini ) [REACTION!!!]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cB1WrZcMwMc/mqdefault.jpg)
Dealing with narcissists is like being inside a maze with no exit. It’s like you think you’ve finally found a way out, until you realize they’re a step ahead of you finding a new creative way to trap you in.
Indeed! My mum of 88 manages to trap me into her web of manipulation almost every day in spite of all my efforts and "education" of almost two years now
My daughter used guilt to keep me trapped. “If you love me, you’ll…”.
It takes money to get away from them. Plus, you get even more victimized. The ideal solution is to just disappear and start over - new location, new job, new name. That is hard to do, particularly when you have children depending on you. Narcs literally run you out of your own life! Sometimes they screw up and actually give you a break by mistake! Over the years I had to deal with one of these characters, I would live for those times!
Exactly 💯
Ur comment is good & somewhat true, but that is not exactly for the reasson u r thinking of. They might look like they are always ahead because when they got u too tied, u only have 1 or so moves to do to get back power/moves for ur own good/moves in ur favor. Anyone can know this,they r not special. The only thg that is special in a bad way is they were & r capable of destroying u to points where u don't have nothg possible to do or only some chances of being able to make yourself be well.
We can't take our own advice about narcissists because we think we can reason with them. News flash - WE CAN'T! The core of narcissism is unreasonableness.
Being involved with a narcissist is an addiction, I suspect. It really wasn’t until I COMPLETELY removed myself from any contact at all that I was finally able to see my situation clearly and start my journey of self identity and determination. Best of luck all and big thanks to the courageous Dr. Ramani.
It is crucial to be very well prepared, when leaving a narcissist. Especially when children are involved. I was shocked how destructive they can act when they know they have lost you.
Being held hostage financially...while being dominated by severe fibromyalgia pain. My brain can barely function. Btw, I do give great advice and support. I've already literally helped a friend very recently. It actually gives me hope watching her succeed.
There’s always the problem of being stuck in survival mode, thinking you’re making the best decision at the time, but having no idea of the reality you’re stepping into as you’re stepping out of another.
At the time I never expected to get bit ..it's the old fable about the man with 68 snakes ur bound to get bit . I just tried to protect everyone's jobs .. they are all retired now
Exactly !
Stuck in survival mode - that's exactly it! And when you're in survival mode you don't make decisions, you act on instinct, you REACT! By the time I realized what's going on I was stuck in a rut of knee jerk reactions... It takes extreme self control to not react in the heat of the moment. As for more momentous decisions you're so caught up in survival mode, booby traps all around, and you don't have much time or peace of mind to think things through. And when you're finally able to think you just see the difficulties that lie ahead...
Going no contact was one of the hardest things I found
Me too. I’m 16 months no contact with my narcissist daughter. I have no one telling me what to do, where to be, how to think, etc. I’m 75 and I live by myself. I thank God every day for the decision to get out from under the, constant abuse.❤
@@beverlyadams7205
You are a very brave woman, better loneliness, don't hesitate!!.
My mother recently passed away and then I have decided to have zero contact with the entire family. What I saw during my mother's illness left me in shock.
If you are not useful you do not exist in the best of cases, some take advantage of a vulnerable situation to destroy you and feel powerful. Negligence and mobbing are very difficult to prove since there are no bruises; stay away, don't hesitate!!.
Thank you,, Dr. Ramani. Just saying ‘ thank you “ hardly seems enough. But I truly mean it with my heart.
Exactly, Ramani saves lives. I didn't need her new book but I bought it at least to thank her for these years of information and support through her channel.
Being in a marriage with a narcissist can be compared to a deck of cards. At first, you just need two hearts and a diamond to start. But as time goes by, you'll find yourself wishing you had a CLUB and a SPADE!
😂😂😂
Love it, so true.😂
Full marks for precision and humour
My covert narc manipulated me with wanting to end his life - I was in a state of panic about him constantly and then he just discarded me - the trauma of this all is the worst I have ever felt
@@maggamoosie801 that’s awful! Hope your brother is not a struggling author living in South Africa
Because we are actually going through the trauma so we can't think straight we make up allot of excuse for our partner. When we giving advice to others the danger is clear to us.
THIS
Distance is the best medicine
Distance is the only way they can have relationships. Friends and beyond.
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
This is a very thoughtful, well explained, and incredibly relatable comment, of which I agree fully. What you say is so true and I wish people just “discovering” npd and associated tendencies could see it. Awesome. Really beats the “they are monsters and demons sent by the devil to suck every ounce of energy out of you” comments, which seem to be 90 percent of the comments found under these type of videos. Although I understand why people may think and say that as well, but your comment is the real deal.
@@EmarieT-cn1li it is personal true. But they are sick people. And the people who believe them, imo, are just as sick. At first I get it, they believe them. But eventually it becomes obvious. But then the monkeys are afraid for themselves. They sickeningly go along with the Narcissist. I am in it now and I have nobody. I would never do that to someone And this is not the first time. My ex husband turned my whole family against me. Luckily that time he confessed on a Mission Trip and the entire church got up and embraced him lol. The Pastor's daughter came over to me and said, "WHy are you sitting alone when you were the one cheated on?" She was 12. Best day of my life though because I was validated in front of my Sister. So she went back and told everyone. It was great. I need that this time too. It's at work so it's hard.
I see you've watched Prof Sam. I agree with all you have written, but it's hard to not take it Personal when it's a parent.
Well said
Easier to dole out advice to others than follow our own when you have narcissists and their flying monkeys team up against you. Worse if you have to live with them. I knew I was in a bad situation. It took me a while to develop the courage to cut them off. My advice to victims is to be easy with yourselves. You don't deserve the abuse you are forced to endure. Their scars are not your wounds nor should they be.
As for the enablers, be supportive and kind towards those you know in a toxic relationship. Help them out.
The narcissists had me admitted into a mental facility against my will , yes i wasn't in the best of place bc i was just wrapping my head around the fact that i was in a narcissistic relationship and the narcissists took advantage of that to have me admitted ,i just got out the day b4 yesterday and they have me taking drugs that i don't want to take , these drugs makes me sleepy and uncomfortable, although they might have their advantages these drugs also have disadvantages and these disadvantages also has to be taken into account..
michael crichton ssys that even tho humans are one of the few ecies that csn see themselves in a mirror we stil cant see ourselves psychologiclly.
This is making me cry because it hurts. My narc mother in law has made my oldest daughter into her flying monkey against me. I can't get through to my child because she believes nana and has blocked me. All because I challenged nana before I knew she was a narcissist. I feel so hurt. I can't do it anymore. Where do I find the strength? 😢
In therapy. Among friends. And right here in the comments. We support each other. I have no idea how much worse off I could be by now.
Having real time experience of this is completely different thing . Taking our own advice may work after we heal from these relationships
The narc I was dealing with handles dogs daily. He use to get obnoxious a d say," Don't bite the hand that feeds you " because he wrote out my bi weekly checks . The lesbian( nice lady very self advocating) at work gave me sound advise that he was a total narc
Such timely advice! I am currently going through this and need to remember to give myself some compassion and get to work on my stuckness!
I think there is two components to navigating, surviving narcissistic abuse, after the wtf moment, there is gathering info about it, i.e maps and directions, The general lay of the land etc, and then there is entering the jungle part where it's hard to remember anything you picked up (It's Too Noisy), I think you have to flounder around long enough in the jungle till you can start to remember the instructions and apply them, while keeping the faith in the map and objective. Obviously the first part is easier than the second part. But the first part is not enough to get through it. Robert Frost "The way out is through." And the Roosevelt Quote "The man in the arena" I still stand by my good advice even if I haven't put it into effect yet. Another Quote says we teach best what we need to learn the most ourselves.
Wow. So Brilliant. Love the analogy of cleaning someone else's home better than our own.
Thank you for compassionate advice. I would never in a million years talk to another person the way I talk to myself...
Well, it's like a lot of things. We all know what we SHOULD be doing with the diet and exercise. Actually doing it, rather than talking about it, is a good deal harder.
The agony of loosing my son to parental alienating - narcissists (evil) parent, I'm learning to except monumental loss... 👍❤❤❤Thank you!!!
You are not alone. I lost a daughter to Parent Alienation. It is a no-win situation. Sadly, the daughter is just as hateful as her mother now.
I don't have children but I have always thought that zero contact with them must be a very hard decision. I had seen my sister use my mother all life and, when she became old and ill and was no longer useful to her, she simply left her for dead. When my mother passed away a week later my sister's husband was calling about the inheritance while for years not just one call to check how she was. It is a shock to see that they do not really establish emotional ties but rather they fake them while they obtain something. You see your children but they because of their disorder they do not see faces nor parents, they see utilities. Accepting it no matter how hard it is is how you get out of that matrix.
You make so much sense, I just wish more people could think like you.
Thank you dr Ramani. We must love our inner child and take loving care of them. We have often not been loved by our parents and we must give that love and compassion to ourselves. Looking at you childhood photo helps a lot to get to love our little powerless, abandoned and neglected selves. Re parenting ourselves is crucial to start healing.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for everything.
Today I have taken my own advice. I have shut up. The person is a member of one of my groups. She is baiting me. I am not saying a word. Stepping back. I was initially soooo angry. I did not respond. Yay me😊
Finally got my Book!!!! It took weeks to get here and I’m so excited! I even got my coworker a copy. Thank you Dr. Rameni for all of your PR, explaining & loving way of helping us make mental adjustments do to the trauma of it all ❤
I felt tense up, my voice was really shaky, and I'm trying my best not to cry talking with my narcissistic mother. It is very difficult and painful living with her. I am so worried on what she will do and say to my children that are toxic, harmful and damaging.
Listen. Empathize. Encourage and love. Radical acceptance. Self reflection and introspection. One can change their internal dialogue once an experience ( trauma bond for e.g.) has been processed, accepted and fully understood. Focus on self, accept that one is vulnerable. Don't place blame. Forgiveness and love. Work on becoming a better person.
Ah this literally happened last night 🥲 I have great advice to a woman struggling with an alcoholic husband. But what will I do? 😔
I hear your advice. Thank you. ❤
Yes why can’t we, very important subject Dr Ramani..
I could never understand until now how i was unable to practice my own advice
Faithfully giving great advice to friends who sought my opinion or advice and was unable for years to practise what i preached
I didnt understand it was that trauma bond
I love the analogy of the glasses
Brilliant video thank you DrRamini ❤
Dr. Ramani I'm desperate for your advice. My daughter who is 30 years old is verbally abusing me and she is blaming me for being sick - hospitalized a lot during her childhood, and keeps saying that I "owe her for all those years" I'm afraid I have to cut ties with her, if it doesn't get better, and I doubt it will -- she has always been good at making me feel bad, having a bad conscious even if it's not my fault, she has trauma from my illness, but keep blaming me something I didn't ask for, I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm just tired.... Thank you for your help ❤️
This has been the most insightful video. I purchased your book. I am hoping I can implement all your strategies to heal whilst making clear sense of all the madness. You have been a shimmer of light in a dark void. Thank you so so much for sharing your knowledge 🎉
8:57
... practice self compassion
We would never talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves.
Im in a weird place. My partner def has narcissistic tendencies but, they arent malicious about it. They also dont tell me i cant do something, but they know if i do what what i want that i know how they will treat me, ie- silent treatment. So much more to say... but idk what to do. I have lost interest in almost everything, lost other relationships. Lost myself. Suffering from panic attacks at night now...
I was in your spot this time last year. He sounds like a covert. I stayed, because I didn’t see how bad it was and that it was in fact malicious. He ended up discarding me in the most inhumane way while I was pregnant. He texted me and said we were over and that was it. Nothing. I don’t know your exact situation but I do remember being at a point in my relationship where I was like “he’s not the worst but there is something off about him” and after that it was all downhill. Just be cautious.
Dr. Ramani can you discuss the narcissist that is also diagnosed with boarder line personality disorder.
I've learned that giving advice cold is harmful. When I feel compelled to give advice, I ask myself, 'Did they ask?'
The best advice is never asked for...
You can catch someone in another frame of mind, whereby they hear it differently, and it sticks.
Only harm that can come is to the ego, and that need shrinking in most people anyway
@regwindham - Well said!🌻
Unsolicited advice= criticism.
@@geraldfriend256 I like that equation. 💯
What do you do if your friend is in a Narcissist fog and in danger so you sit down and do nothing 😢. You watch your friend get destroyed completely instead of giving him/ her a little lift.
Such a great exercise. It really clicked with me and I just gave myself some really good advice.
Lol, my advice is the best!
Obvs sarcasm, but had the greatest chat over Easter with several other adult women with tough mothers. No longer alone! Chat with folks is my advice. So surprised I found a small community among women I’ve known a long time. Wow.
@T.elegram_Doctor_Ramani You are not Dr Ramani, don’t even try. What a weird bot, don’t even see the point.
My family constantly locked me away in correctional facilities for acting out in the skightest way. They made it clear that they didn't care about me due to that and because they never really visited me when I was in there. I was just a child who grew up in a terrible family environment
I think the lack of care for me made it easier for me to cut them out of my life. Granted it wasn't until shortly after our grandma died that I told them to leave me alone and called them all out but I never really spoke to them, hung out with them or anything like that beforehand
Now I'm trying to gather up enough money so I can leave my hometown and get away from my family all together. I want to go to therapy but i want someone who actually knows what they are doing like you or Patrick
I love your advice. You are such a blessing.❤
this question comes to mind for therapy: how do you know when youre makg excuses vs you really cant legitimately get out.
I have a reason why we can come across as hypocrites when we try to help folks in narcissistic relationships-because dealing with narcissists is impossible and in my own experience the only way to really deal effectively with these demons is to go no contact. I often hear techniques like grey rocking and yellow rocking and while I believe this may work for some people when it comes to my own situation I can't even have an in depth conversation with another person while I am in their presence cos they will rudely interrupt me with their "advice"
Thank you so much for addressing these very real struggles again.
The advice that I gave was that the narcissist in their live will not change because of anything that the victim does and that it isn't personal.
I've gone no contact with my sister a couple of times. But it never works because when she can't get hold of me then she turns to my (now adult) son. This has been going on since he was a child, and has been very harmful to him. His father died when he was two, and it seems my sister is taking advantage of that. She literally 'goes after' my son.
She talks him in to celebrating important days throught the year with her and her family and many of our realtives. No one dares say anything. It breaks my heart. She's spreading lies about me, lately also to my son. I've listened to some of your videos, but to this huge problem; I can't find any answer or solution
@T.elegram_Doctor_Ramani Norway. And I am new to this way of communicating, as I've used youtube for listening purposes only. Is this a private dialogue?
I really needed to hear this , thank you dr ramani ..
Going no-contact is the only thing that’s worked for me. It sucks that it had to get to that point, and there are moments it still hurts, because I had to go no-contact with my whole family of origin. I still sometimes go through emotions of not having a family. But through the course of my life, I had a lot of denial, and a lot of guilt that I could “fix” them if I were just a better person. I blamed myself for a lot of the problems that they created.
If only we had someone empathetic to support us, affirm our feelings and decisions, we may actually follow our own advice, because we often do know what's the right thing to do! But without support we are plagued with self blame, self doubt and fear... We are everyone's support system, but often we don't have a support system ourselves and are surrounded by enablers and flying monkeys!
Yes ma'am -someone told me recently that I was deliberately creating obstacles for myself.
Firstly, I love your show. Your insights and advice have been life changing. Six months ago I didn't know what NPD was. I just thought we stopped getting along. But in hindsight I now know he (my ex-husband) is a Narcissist and that I wasn't crazy.
I am in a strange predicament.
Married to a Narc for 20 years. Divorced now 15 yrs.
Kids are grown and on their own.
I have followed all the rules....ignore, don't engage, don't react etc.
But there is one thing that still connects us.
He Owes Me Money.
I think this is his way of not letting me go. (Even though there have been 5 girlfriends since the divorce...and probably others before.)
If I could live without the money, I would just tell him to keep it and that would really piss him off. I'd love that.
But I really need the money and he knows this.
We had a very fair divorce settlement and he always paid on time and in total as per the terms of the settlement.
However there was another thing he owed me money for and it was basically a handshake agreement.
He has paid 90% of that amount over 10 years.
But for the last two and a half years he has been crying poverty and "just doesn't have the $ to pay me" the remaining 10%. (Meanwhile he recently bought a condo in West Palm Beach Florida.)
What should I do?
How can I get rid of him?
I've considered taking him to court, but I just know he will win.
I want to be completely disconnected from him and he won't let it happen.
I feel so stuck. But no way near to how stuck I felt before we divorced. That was my prison. Now I am free and on my own, but pretty poor. But that is totally okay. It is definitely the lesser of two evils.
But I want my money.
Help, please.
Thanks so much.
People become vulnerable because o the trauma that they have experienced. Being vulnerable does cause many effects on the brain and how one functions.Books such as your recent one brings awareness and that it is possible to regain who you are.
This is so valuable. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.
Dr. Ramani, I would specifically add or highlight “emotions” such as pervasive anger, grief, or fear that keeps one stuck, unconsciously, in these unhappy relationships.
Thank you for your insight! 🌻
#1 definitely applies to me. Being self conscious goes beyond the destructive script given to me by my mother. I am the oldest and her go-to scapegoat. I developed auto immune disorders, the most obvious being alopecia. I lost all my hair when I was 12 years old and it’s still gone 30 years later. I am reminded of my freakishness by reality everyday. And that’s on top of being introverted, sensitive, and fearful. I stopped contact with my mother and am in therapy. Despite those things, I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. 😔
Thank you for enlightening the world about narcissistic traits, Dr. Ramani. Your book is fantastic! I've recently encountered two different people with narcissistic traits. When I had to confront them with their bad behavior, rather than taking responsibility, they asked for "examples". . I didn't take the bait because of you. What was interesting is that they do not know each other but used the same line. "Could you give me examples?" Can you talk about that in a future video?
Haha! My Dad once told me to "keep book" rather than just complain about someone's behavior. This is particularly helpful if you are being gaslighted by someone. Not just that - journaling in general is very good for you. It helped me gain clarity over my situation. So, when the Narc asked you for "examples" you can not only give him examples but dates and times.
I didn't give examples, because I think they would view that as an excuse to fight and dismiss. The number of times they had verbally lashed out was enough for them to know they were in the wrong. I told them that there was a pattern of disrespect that I was not going to tolerate any longer and they should reflect on their behavior for the last few months, if they want to know what they did wrong.@@twovirginiacats3753
Thank you 🧡
So many gifts for me in less than 10 minutes video.
My words will never be enough to express my gratitude for dr Ramani.
With your lifesaving book here in my hands,
with your inestimable work I listened in all your videos always here with me,
Thank you so much 🙏
From Italy
I can’t agree more with Dr. Ramani’s advise on trying to explain your experience to someone else. For me opening up to the Domestic Violence Action Center was the first powerful step towards healing. I had to state the incident and my experience. Understanding narcissism and the concepts like trauma bonds, gaslighting and narcissistic patterns itself was the biggest part of healing! Because once you clearly see it through, it’s hard to not see. You’re a savior Dr. Ramani!
Doctor, I want to thank you for all your videos. By your positive and encouraging advice I have been able to break free and recover from a long lasting traumatic experience with narcisistic family members. Thank you !
I cannot stress enough how much I value your wonderful, and very calming advice. Thank you so much, truly. Your channel is proving to be an essential part of my healing, recovery, and support. Here in the UK, our essential mental health services are becoming so hard to access that it's easy to become even more isolated and confused. So, again, I can only stress how grateful I am for your time and efforts you must put in to support people like myself. Thank you 😊 💓 from the bottom of my heart
@T.elegram_Doctor_Ramani North Yorkshire, England, in the poorer North where it's supposedly a grim place to live 😊but it's actually very beautiful. It is, however, very poorly funded in many different areas of health, particularly with regard to mental health services and support.
what an interesting topic!
Dr. Ramani,
Thank you for your insight.
😮
God bless you ❤️ 🙏
TY for your gentle reminders , Dr RAMINI!!
So comforting, I listened a few times. A weight has been lifted.
Thank you. This is accurate. Grace to show ourselves! Excellent!
Great advice, thank you 😊
I do the exercise right now 💪🏻
Thank you Dr Armani. Your calm, reasoned and caring video has, in this moment at least, helped me recognise I'm doing the best I can in my situation. And I'm worthy of self compassion
❤this video compassion for ourselves & the reality
Of the choices we make are profound
Fear is.
Thank you Dr
For me it's because I am never 100% sure even with the Smear Campaign. I am told I am paranoid, crazy, and they only keep me around because they care about me. Her believing everyone else over me even though I used to be their favorite. The love bombing (which isn't happening right now) and the breadcrumbing that makes me unsure of myself. Ugh. And it's work. So I need the money to pay my mortgage and my self esteem is so low I can't find a better job right now because I don't even want to. What I want is to go back to before the Smear Campaign. Once she allowed the firing of her original supply (the supply doesn't know and they are still great friends) I became it. What I want doesn't exist. The only positive is people outside of work know the truth and keep telling me to quit. But I am afraid I am wrong and it is me. Hardest part is I still love them and care about them. That has not gone away yet. Maybe once it does it will be easier.
Every day in my 39 year relationship with her has been sad and lonely, if she actually says something nice to me, for that moment I feel happy.
What a sad existence I have relying on breadcrumbs.
Great question 🤔
There’s a song in Disney’s Alice in Wonderland that resonates with me 🕷️I often give myself VERY good advice, but seldom ever follow it 🕷️ 🤷🏼♀️
Hello DR thank you ,my people never heard ,stories I tell ,the picture they had of the sh,,,show pretence ,its a hard one .
Hood Advice. Thanks
The Con Seems so "genuine" in the moment. We stay hooked we keep thinking "maybe this time they really mean it " or "maybe This time they really Get us and where we're coming from " only to have them flip the script with the cheshire cat grin and like a bucket of ice water in the face, suddenly realize we've been Had again !
There is no emotions involved in giving others advice.
🎯 💯
CHAOS AND EPIDEMIC OF NARCISSISM IN BRAZIL. In a NARCISSISTIC society like ours, in which the various forces we described above oppose the interests of the collective, Chaos is perpetuated as a persistent disorder, while Eros is relegated to oblivion. We have observed that contemporary man increasingly takes refuge in his inner chaos, as he identifies with the chaos external to him. We are not witnessing the creation of new opportunities for men and women to evolve. On the contrary, we are gradually sinking into what we can call “epidemic narcissism” (or “narcissism epidemic”). And understanding this phenomenon is important because, in the long term, our society will suffer from the progressive destruction of its essential values.
Ahhh, the crux of it all.
Funny my favorite quote from Alice in Wonderland is “that’s the trouble with me, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom take it”.
Yea❤
How do you change after fifty years and still living with it!
Well for one we won’t call them what they are, insane. Everyone knows the saying about repeating things but we refuse to call a thing a thing so there’s no connecting the dots. No one is going give or take accurate advice when we don’t know what we’re talking about, aren’t talking about the same thing or confused.
Please address how Patriarchy causes narcissism
Actually, misandry is the rising symptom of the increasing societal narcissism.
@@DadHominem No patriarchy has the same exact traits as narcissism,,control,hatred,domination,abuse, gaslighting manipulation this are present in patriarchy.
Sorry it is a stretch. Causation vs correlation ya know? And saying misandry is on the rise is not contrary to your point.
There is an excellent article on Medium titled: "Misandry: The Silent Epidemic". You should take a look. Coupled with the recent rise of social media platforms, misandry - as a lens through which we receive both news & entertainment - is crushing the soul of our society. Perform an Internet search for "misandry", and read some of the research. You are likely to find it illuminative.
@@geraldfriend256 it's about the psychology behind both patriarchy and narcissism either one causes the other because the fact is they are correlated
Watched it
Doc Am curious to know how you see the character of Superman. ☺️
3rd, 2 April 2024
Not everyone who remains connected to a person with NPD is in trauma bond, however. There are too many reasons an individual may remain in some kind of relationship with the person with NPD to assume it’s as text-book as trauma bonding. The real issue is how to maintain your own mental health while keeping a healthy distance.
@5:53 ‼️🌻
I know this is not the same, thg Ramani is saying, but I remember this: my whole abuvise family who were not only low in moral standards, but also stupid people whom will make problems for themselves for no reasson that could be avoided & as a child I would tell them obvious thgs, & they would tell me back: why dont u fix ur life them, or apply ur own advice? When i had no way, AT ALL of making any changes to my life, neither to improve it or to make bad decisions, that wasn't on their radio of want they wanted for me. They really made sure I could not do anything to be well, neither before (& they had the tremendous wickedness & shameless to tell me why dont u do the right thgs, when i was, but they made sure i could not do them or even get good results).
It's not you back drop
Tried to read your message but unsuccessful installing telegram.😊
Cause narcissists are great actors n liars they can be so sweet n fake kind you wanna believe em
Dr, Please listen. You have so much good advice, but how does someone with all the intersectionalities find a therapist? I'm always asking them before we begin, but they lead me down a path of my past, tsk'ing and finger-waving all the time at the underclass and the disabiled. How do I explain Autism and childhood abuse? How do I explain growing up in the U.S.'s poorest and most violent neighboorhood in the 1970s and 1980s? How do I find someone when I've lived on the edge my whole life and literallly everyone looks like a narisist from my point of view? Please help me understand? No therpists will ever explain why my trauma and my pain are incomprehesible to them; they always dodge and I've never learned anything even after decades.
I'm from Detroit, specifically, Trenton. We were number 1 in you-know-what and a couple other things for most of the whole time I was growing up. I was the 2nd girl in the family, and I looked like a boy, and since my mother's mother survived ww2 and white sl*v*r* after Poland 1944 and my Father's mother survived the coal miners of wVA only to fall in with one abuser after another until the heart ache took her, literally nobody had time for me. I was excommunicated by the Travellers and their generational trauma. My fathers family revealed itself as infested with the trade and that's why I don't have any girl cousins. I'm a queer profane gypsy trans girl with autism and d.i.d.; I have no family or friends or education, an nothing but the memories of one abuser after another. I can't get anything close to decent medical care. I've got 3 decades of experience and self-education, but I"m so full of pain I haven't worked in years. No person has ever believed me when I said I was a girl, or it wasn't me that was crying, or I was being abused, or that people like me could even exist without being the bad guy on the news that night. I've never even been kissed
Addendum: * "Nobody had time for me," == Scapegoating isn't a love language!
* 2 careers, 12 years in Customer Support and 15 years as a Human Care worker. I'm pretty good at both and everyone says I can always find respect and common ground- rare triats in both jobs... idk I can do anything for anybody, all I need to hear is: Please. Frozen to the couch when it's time to help myself
When I say, "I looked like a boy," I mean, I wanted to play inside where it was safe, but they pushed me out to learn to be tough and held the door closed. A few years later I felt so unloved and unsafe everywhere, they taught me to fear outsiders, they called me crazy and I never saw them again. Except that one aunt you liked me after I "borrowed" Grandma's carton of Newports from her resting place. She didn't want her Ma smoking in Heaven. I got a kiss on the cheek for my effort. A couple years later she sent me a nice card with a picture of my tomb stone on it. It's right next to my Fathers.
Everyone is hearing the abuse in the story, right? It's not just us?