What NOT to Say to Someone Going Through a Hard Time | HDIGH Ep. #52 Highlight
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
- Jae and AleXa share what NOT to say when going through a hard time.
If you are fluent in another language, please contribute subtitle translations here: amara.org/en/v...
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If you are fluent in another language, please contribute subtitle translations here: amara.org/en/videos/3sGESg3xNv7M/info/what-not-to-say-to-someone-going-through-a-hard-time-hdigh-ep-52-highlight/?team=
"No matter what someone is going through, never compare someone's problems. Because what could be something small to you, could be the end of the world for someone else."
- AleXa, 2021
Comparing the problem is the worst thing I've ever felt. You know when someone like "iam so sad i lost 10 dollars yesterday" then the other one would reply "oh gurl come on my experience was worse, yours is better" n they will starting to tell their own story instead of comforting their friends
the only reason why i stop sharing my problem with my friends bcs they will start with the comparing thing like duh😩🙃
editor-nim for dive studios is god tier, thank you for your work
1:10 this is why I stan editor-nim 🤣
Jae savage and sarcastic response and how editornim turns it into high level humor 😂👍🏽editor you’re literally walking meme wikipedia
“If you know how to deal with your mental health, it’s fine to keep it to yourself, but if you don’t, I think it’s good you open up because you might have someone around you who knows how to handle it." - Kim Seokjin
I think that telling someone “Do you want to talk about it?” is one of the best positive phrases you can say in these cases, because you’re actually giving the other person the option to keep things for themselves if they aren’t ready to speak up yet.
AleXa is literally so funny and kind
i love watching the look on Jae's face when something AleXa says makes him understand something deeply... such a fantastic dynamic, these 2 :)
Editor-nim, you missed the chance to put Days Gone By's "aaaaAAAAAAªªªª" in one of Jae's "aaah"s. 😔
ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ
Editor-nim killed with that Shrek meme 😂😂
This was actually nice to learn about. I never thought about how when I said those things to people how it affected the other person. I’ve always heard people tell that to me, so I assumed that’s the right way to respond. But after hearing this I’m gonna do better! Thank you for this lesson!
That was such a wholesome episode. I learnt a lot definitely.
So the phrases we should use are
"How can I help you? Is everything okay?''
"What can I do to make it less stressful for you?"
"This is tough. Can I do anything?"
"It must be hard. Tell me about it"
"It's so hard to see all the good in the situation but we'll make sense of it when we can."
"I know things can get really tough but I'm here for you."
Have a good day y'all
AleXa: motivating others
meanwhile Jae: ahhhhhhhh
alexa is such a nice person, she would immediately help you with something that you are going through rn and shes the right person for advices and stuff and that’s why i stan ☝🏻
1:20 it could be worse...those words coming out of your friend, best friend, sibling can really hurt. what if it's really bad and your life just feels like it's going to shut down, we don't want to imagine it being worse, we want comfort.
On point. I no longer tell people my problems anymore cause of the toxic positivity. I've result to handling things myself, cause when i tell people about how bad i feel concerning a way i'm being treated for example, they always talk about how not big of a deal it is and even defend the ones who caused me the hurt, like i'm just being petty or something. These days i just vent my fustrations from within, or better yet -stay quiet, and act like i'm not hurt.
#relatable
But yeah I don’t know you guys but if you just need a chat
I’ll be around 😁
I used do this alot to myself and to my friends but when I knew "toxic positivity" existed, I dropped it and learned to accept my feelings and emotions, to be more understanding and empathetic to other people in order to be really helpful.
Editor-nim 😂 you literally give me “happy thoughts”💕
lmao, why would Alexa suddenly do hands choreography while explaining things? 😭
Just Alexa things✨
It reminds me of T-ara roly poly
@@marintanur9954 trueee i thought of that too 😂😂
To be honest, I never really thought about how these phrases could be negative or invalidating. Listening to this, has got me thinking that the phrases people use to try and make a situation positive is only to make it positive for them not the person going through a hard time. They don't have the emotional capacity/emotional stability to handle someone else's negative baggage so they try to sweep it to the side to not ruin their own positivity. But when someone uses the replacement phrases they are willing to take on the other person's negative baggage and do something to help/solve the problem. In other words, the first set of phrases is selfishness/self-preservation and the second set is selflessness/problem solving.
AleXa: "what's the word I'm thinking of!" > begins pop locking
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. I love how they talk about these things with such naturality. My admiration for them grow more and more ❤😭
I love Alexa's mannerisms so much. I kinda gesticulate like that a lot and it's kinda validating to see that lol
Thanks for touching on this. I don’t blame people have saying some of these things. It is not easy to talk about our feelings so this is nice to have more examples.
AleXa dance Roly Poly, the reference!! ✨Queen✨
Editornim you're doing a great job along with jae and Alexa.
It’s the worst when you are going through something and someone compares and invalidates what you are going through. It’s also hard sometimes being the other person because you don’t always know what to say...so those are really helpful examples
editor-nim at it again, I only started actually watching the clips channel because of this quality editing (instead of the full podcasts)
I have been in this situation. 2020 was the worst year for me because i got a bunch of troubles. When i shared my feeling, my colleague started to comparing my problem with other. It's really suck. Because my emotional was not good enough, and they come only for comparing me with other, also they force to see only the bright side, i left the chat and hiding from the world for a few times to heal my self. Alone. And until now i prefer to be alone for a while. I'm tired to listen that "comparing" stuff..
"good vibes only" yes jae yes
Whoever does the editing for dive studios deserves a raise 👏💰😂
Dive studios editor...we love you.
WHEN I GO THROUGH A TOUGH TIME I SLEEP ALL DAY! Unless I have school 😭
The Indonesian translation is so good! It's not just copy paste from translation app. Thanks translator-nim
stan editor-nim
These are the new things for me. I never knew that the toxic positivity exists and I've been doing it on my mind. Eg: everything happens for a reason🤣
This is really a good topic!
I love Alexa's voice.. but I love her gesture more.lol
Editor-nim if you’re reading this!!!! YOU THE BEST!!!!!!! Periodt!!!
I always deeply appreciate they editors meme cultured ness and it makes me die
Thank you
nobody: jae-ahh ahhh ahhhh
Alexa’s thinking move is waacking!! That’s a great idea, except that if I did it, I’d look stupid~
Omgosh the edit 😂😂😂
The way i love editor-nim
The shrek scene is so funny 😂
Not at how I say all of these and they actually make me happy lolll
regarding the responses: it's not about being positive, it's about being supportive and validating to the other person
i love aleXa
editor-nim, i love ya so much
VERY. WELL. SAID.
Editor nim!🙌🏼
This is a really good topic tbh. Most of us actually uses these terms esp me. I mean hearing these words might help but it's just a temp thing. It is a lot healthier to have someone to open up to or release your emotions on a blank piece of paper or through other mediums of art or physical activity..
amo a editor-nim de dive studios JDKAJFKD
The donkey...(ah~!) 😂 I can't~
I sometimes just don't feel like people understand me for me it's like if you tell someone your biggest fear and then they just brush it off or or tell you to get over it. You should never tell someone to get over whatever they fear because that will hurt their feelings. I've bad people laugh in my face and tell me to get over it. It sucks so bad. That's why I try to be as kind as I can be. I usally keep my biggest fear to myself because I hate telling people about it because I know how they are going to react. I hate the kind of people who think they are so much better than others. I also have trouble in finding myself to be beautiful. It's like everyone is like oh you're so beautiful. And I'm like no I'm actually not. That's a nother thing I struggle with. I'm glad they talked about this topic.
That's one of the reason why I broke up with my 7year relationship coz he keeps comparing his struggles and problems with my problems and I just needed someone to listen. its just that simple.
I've never been so early 😂🖤lvy guys
Jae: ahh.. ahhh.. ahhhh!! AHHH!! 🤣
1:54 seventeen-good to me is playing in my head
That's why it's really hard to share
That's why I prefer to keep my problems for myself. Sometimes people don't understand what we are going through.. sighh
All those things are things I can say to myself, to pick myself up. But they don’t work on others!
The worst one for me, is when I try to tell someone about something you struggle with, and the other person responds with: That happens to me all the time. At the same time they reveal that they haven’t understood one thing you are trying to say and that your struggles is nothing...
These two have infinite wisdom haha
First of all I LOVE EDITOR NIM'S BRAIN
I love the editor 😂
editor-nim out here doing the most lol
one of the main reasons why i come here after i listened to the podcats is the EDITING
My counselor told me "You're okay" after telling her I go through panic attacks and had compulsive thoughts that I can't ride behind a motorcycle without endangering myself. HAHAHHAHA But I learned to tell people what I actually needed, because some people mean well but are not good at giving advice or comforting. I also learned to ask them first (my friends/ppl who need comfort), do you want me to give you advice or just listen? that way you can adjust to what they need at that moment.
Reliving the past few years hearing these stupid sentences.. Ugh. Glad we moved on to positivity!
Yas ! 💯
THE EDITOR REALLY DID PULL UP SHREK AHAA
Idk what to expect but I feel more pathetic when I share my problems and and I get like "it's okay, your problems are no big deal. Everyone goes through the same thing".
English isn't my native language. Thus when I heard the sentence "look on the bright side" being said in a serious manner I was so confused. I new abuot this phrase due to the movie "the life of brian" and found it so funny since it's such an unhelpful thing to say and I thought I would never hear it to be seriously said...
The editor nim is so funny omg
Good theme
In my opinion, when someone you know its going through a hard time don't ask them what happened just be there to comfort them and just ask them to tell you what happend when they are comfortable with telling it
That's listerally what my friends told me whenever i had a hard time 😬
their editor got the vibe😂
gOoD viDeS oNlY
Editor deserves half the rev for these clips 😂
Say good words instead of invalidating the situation :)
This reminds me when every time I talked about a problem with my friend she always replied: I feel worse. (we aren't friends anymore)
Or my parents telling me: you don't have problems. And I'm like, should I make a list?
jae ur hoodie looks good tho
Editor I want you to know, I love you!!!!!!
The editor tho😂
3:28 why patrick sounds like Treyy.. Badabing badaboomm 😅
Jae's aahhs.ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Facts facts facts
I feel like people using these phrases just shows that they wanna avoid helping people. Its like "i know u have a problem. I dont care. Move on"
Heh tencu for Indonesian subtitle 😭👍
There is toxic positivity.i learned something new
but sometimes people complain too much about their problems when they're not that major. these things happen to everyone and they need to know that their problems aren't as bad as they think they are. The thing about first world countries is that they make up problems because of how comfortable they're living and forget that in other parts of the world(including my own country) people have actual problems
Liked thanks to Editor-nim's Shrek edit.
I love hearing "facts" and "true" from Jae's mouth🤤🤤
뭐라는건지는 잘 뮤르겟디만 너무 병아리같구기엽다 줴횽아 ... ㄴㅐ가 영어공부 열시미 할게
WHY IS ALEXA DANCING
Sorry I'm late I was sobbing to I need somebody by day6
i don't know how to comfort people so i always tell em wanna rob a bank or sum